


Calm After

by desp3ration



Series: It's About Us [2]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Adult Life, Adulting, Alternate Universe, Drama, Evak - Freeform, Evak becoming parents, Future Evak, M/M, Marriage, New Friends, Old Friends, Sass, Series, Smut, Stress, an old married couple with lots of sex, evak as adults, evak in love, foreign affairs, friendship that turned into love, possible character illness, sequel to Tidal Waves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2019-06-09 13:48:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 240,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15268791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desp3ration/pseuds/desp3ration
Summary: Even and Isak have been through a lot over the years of being together, but now they're ready for that next chapter. They've braved the storm and they hope the next step doesn't have any sort of aftershock.





	1. High Hopes

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sequel to [Tidal Waves](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13347561/chapters/30559329), so if you have not read that, this is going to be very confusing. 
> 
> Anyway, so this is set in the future, the year is 2024. And there are some concepts that may be a little hard to grasp but I'm also banking on the idea that we can keep an open mind and say from now to 2024, some things have progressed/changed. That being said, all of everything I have planned has been researched but I also am adopting some of my own rules banking on progression to make this easier to write. 
> 
> Anyway, Even and Isak are married and they are about to take the next step too becoming a family and they're going about it in a sort of adventurous way.

**2024**

 

_Friday, Mar. 01_

Isak had been with Even for almost eight years. He had known Even his entire life. He had married him and they planned their lives around _each other_ because _they_ were at the center of their universe. Of course, they weren’t perfect, they fought and there were some times while they were in university that really felt like their relationship nearing its end. But they made it through everything that life seemed to throw their way. They were invincible. Which was why Isak shouldn’t have been so shocked by what Even just proposed, but _god_ , he was and he had to get a grip on it before he did or said something stupid.

He’d probably say something stupid.

“I’m sorry, you know that I never want to be like your parents and ask this... It’s just, did you _hear_ what you just said to me? Like, out loud, through those auditory canals of yours?” Isak was taken aback, way aback. His heart was racing in a way that it hadn’t in years, a panicked and nervous excitement fluttering through his body. Isak knew Even had something to say or to ask, hence the fancy dinner, the dim lighting and the candles in their tiny two bedroom apartment they moved into five years prior when Isak started his Masters at University of Oslo for psychology. With those studies, he did learn how to pick up on cues from Even himself. He just had no idea that _that_ was what he was going to say.

After spending some time in therapy, after spending so much time with Even, learning and discovering more and more about the different things that could go on in someone’s head, Isak just somehow fell into place. He absolutely loved learning about the inner workings of the brain and of course it wasn’t _exactly_ what he expected for himself but it ended up being where he belonged. He had to promise, of course, that he wouldn’t psychoanalyze Even, it was absolutely forbidden. Even and Isak may have had a grip on things but one thing Even never wanted from Isak was the picking of his brain in fear that Isak might start looking at him as a patient. 

So, Isak didn’t psychoanalyze. Or he tried not to. Most of the time. But, Even just really dropped that fucking bomb and Isak’s head was spinning from it. It just sounded so _manic_. And that in itself was shocking, Even was taking medication, Even was managing—for the most part, of course. So, it was nerve wracking to think that he might be, that they might begin spiralling down that path again.

“I did, and Isak, I’ve been doing research on this for months, I’ve been busy so I may not have all the kinks worked out, but this is a long time coming. It’s not some manic thing and you _know that_ ,” Even said, moving his seat closer to Isak’s. They’d started sitting across the table from one another but, as always, they ended up being up close and personal by the of the meal. Even stayed firm across the table at his proposition, but now was probably the time to make a move. Because what he was proposing had Isak on edge. There were so many flaws to the plan, how would they ever even go through with it? They probably weren’t even ready for it. How could they be?

“We’re...I’m...I’ve still got a year left until I get my degree,” Isak said, school actually not really being the very first on his list in panic, but it came out first anyway, followed by the top thing on that list, “And I’m only twenty-four. I’m not even fit to be…”

“A Dad?” Even said, a little, teeny, tiny eager smile playing on his lips. Oh god _he wanted this so bad_. For _months_ he’d been planning it out. Oh fuck. Even was ready for this. What did it mean that Isak hadn’t known this? He should have seen the signs that Even wanted to become a _fucking father_. Had he been that preoccupied with school? How could he have missed those cues? Fuck, if he’d at least seen the signs, he might have been better able to prepare himself for this crazy scheme. 

“ _Fy faen_ ,” Isak breathed, looking at Even and shaking his head. The thing was, he was shocked, but the panicky excitement told him that he kind of wanted it too. He and Even had talked a little about it over the years, only a few times over the eight years they’d been together, but when they had talked, it was enchanting. The thought of Even being a Dad filled his heart. The thought of Even being a Dad to _Isak’s_ children made his heart ooze a goey warmth throughout his entire body. 

“And you going to school is the best part,” Even said, grabbing Isak’s hand and gently kissing the back of it before holding it in his lap, “if we can get you into some sort of study abroad program for your last year of Residency then we’ll have it made. They’d probably help you with housing or something. Is there any way you could swing it so that it is something about getting a full experience or something?” 

“This is going to be so expensive,” Isak said, putting his free hand on this forehead and tilting his head back to look at his husband. 

“That wasn’t a no,” Even said, his smiling growing wider, the grip on Isak’s hand growing tighter. “Are you saying yes?” 

“Even, there are a million reasons why this is probably a bad idea, only starting with the expense,” Isak said, getting a grip on himself again. He needed to make sure he was the rational one, thinking this through. “I mean, _surrogacy_? There are children out there who need to be adopted, Even. Isn’t it selfish for us to do something like that?”

“Nei,” Even shook his head and shrugged a little, “I want little baby Isaks and I will not apologize for that. We need to carry on those good looks, you know. It’d really just be doing the world a favor.”

“But what if I want baby Evens,” Isak said, raising his eyebrows at Even and reaching over to run his hand through his silky hair that was permanently just over the edge of being too long, “I mean, your good looks and everything else need to be carried on, too.” 

“This time you, next time, me,” Even said with a shrug. 

“You want to do this _twice?!_ ” Isak sat up straighter, widening his eyes and squeezing on to Even’s hand. Like actual multiple children. Multiple surrogacies. Expenses through the roof. Diapers through the roof. It had to be manic. But it wasn’t. _Months_. Even spent _months_ thinking about this. Of course he had time to conduct multiple surrogacies in his head and they were going to do it until they had all ten children with the ten perfect personalities that Even had concocted in his head. 

“Okay, okay, I mean, let’s just focus on one,” Even said with a laugh, moving his free hand to Isak’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze to try to ease the tension as if he could see Isak’s sudden _Cheaper by the Dozen_ nightmare playing out in his head. “I’ve only somewhat planned this one. But, I don’t know, I know we’re not anywhere near financially ready for this, but if you can apply for abroad stuff and grants, that’d help and maybe our parents would help pitch in too. And, maybe I’ll be able to do some networking in the states and who knows what that could do for us. Plus I’ll raise money on my vlog, too. I might not be super famous _but_ the people who do watch _love us_ so they’d probably help. It could be an incredible experience all in all and we’ll come out of it _with a baby of our own_.”

“I can’t believe I’m actually thinking about this,” Isak said, shaking his head and looking at their feet for a moment. His heart was still racing, and this was crazy, but he really was thinking about it. “Fine. I’m not going to say yes, and I’m not going to say no. Not yet. I need to hear the whole plan in its entirety. I need to see if this is logistically possible. Plus, I don’t know about my residency, usually it’s at the same place then you get the job. I wouldn’t want to give up a sure thing here…”

“I’ve already worked a lot of things out and I’ve looked into all of this,” Even said with a nod, “So, I’ll talk logistics with you, Baby. I’ll talk your ear off and tell you how _completely_ possible it is. I just need to make sure you’re into it. I only want to do this if you do. We’re a team.”

“I’m into it,” Isak breathed after a moment. He couldn’t believe he was. It was probably a risk no matter what. It was a risk if they could because they could be setting themselves up for a lifetime of something they weren’t prepared for. And, if they couldn’t they were getting their hopes up for nothing. And Even’s hopes were already in the clouds. “But, we’re consulting, like, _everyone_. I’m not even joking. This is huge. I need opinions.”

“But, you and me need to be the ones who make the decision, Is,” Even said gently, moving his hand to cup Isak’s cheek, his smile so bright that it could have blinded Isak. 

“Ultimately, it will be, I promise,” Isak said with a little smile of his own, leaning in and kissing his husband. He wasn’t sure if he really knew what he was getting himself into, but he supposed he would find out sooner than he was even expecting. He was pretty sure Even was about to jump into it right then. And they’d probably be up into the night talking about it. 

 

_Saturday, Mar. 02_

“I mean, why do you want to do it in the States, it’s becoming easier and easier to do something like this right here in Norway every day,” Jonas said to the two of them. He and Sonja were the first that they decided to run it by so they asked if they could get together the next day. So far, they’d taken it easier than Isak had thought they would. Or maybe they were trying not to be judgemental. That’s what they’d grown to be, the open-minded, rights-advocating couple and their two closest friends. Of course they’d try to support Even and Isak’s surrogacy plan. 

Surrogacy had been a controversial topic in Norway for a number of years and a lot of people did find their way around it, but Even said that he did the research, and somehow doing it in the States was going to be easier. Isak agreed after he saw the numbers, too. Because, that had been a big argument. He loved where he lived. He didn’t want to live somewhere else.

“It’s part of the experience too, you know,” Even said, picking up hs beer from the coffee table. They were at Jonas’ apartment. It was where they could usually find the two of them when they weren’t off entertaining other people. Their open relationship had allotted them a few extra romantic encounters a month—they had it all worked out. Which meant it wasn’t all that shocking that they’d seemed more okay than Isak thought about the news, they’d always advocate for any sort of loving relationship and decisions that might bring more love.

“But if the baby is born there and it’s an American citizen, how would that work?” Sonja asked, the two of them making sure to pull out all the practical stops for Even and Isak. Which Isak was relying on. It was crazy that Sonja of all people was one of his best friends, but Isak had benefited from the relationship one too many times to question it anymore. Sonja, the girl who he thought hated him, who he once thought was going to kill him with a look was one of his best friends. And here he was, looking to benefit from her wisdom once more. 

“It’s honestly not as difficult as you think, I mean, it’s difficult, but people adopt babies from different countries all the time, and since this one would _literally_ share DNA with one of us, it’ll be that much easier,” Even said with a shrug. He had sworn he had all the kinks worked out. Maybe he really did, because he was answering every question left and right, with good answers. Isak couldn’t help but lean in favor of the plan. It wasn’t often that he and Even were on different pages, so as soon as he and Even talked about logistics, he couldn’t help but jump on that wavelength, finding his way in sync with him. 

“You guys are _seriously_ thinking about this,” Jonas said, running his hands through his hair—which he was currently growing out, which he had started doing from time to time after they graduated. He’d grow it out, get annoyed of the weight, chop it off again, then repeat. “You do realize you’re our last friends who haven’t moved away or already had kids and now you’re doing both.” 

“We’ll be back in a year and a half, tops,” Even said with a shrug, looking between the two. He and Jonas had a weird relationship, they liked to challenge each other, but at the end of the day, they were friends, standing up for each other. That probably took about five years to get to, but after Even and Isak got married, it was as if the truce suddenly blanketed them. Isak didn’t know what happened, but he was just glad for peace. “And, sure a baby would change some things but Isak and I are ready. Just because you aren’t—and that’s fine, really, but it doesn’t mean that we’re not ready. We want this. Right, Isak?”

“Right, Ev,” Isak said firmly, looking at him and giving him a little smile. He truly did, the idea of the whole thing was beginning to make Isak feel antsy and excited. It was exciting and unexpectedly sprung on him in the best way possible. They’d done so much else in the way of experience, traveling every summer, and now this was going to be like one last hurrah, they’d travel to the States, have a baby then live out the rest of their days in Norway as a family. It was kind of perfect. “Of course, I don’t expect our parents to be quite as okay with this as these two are being though.” 

“Well, that’s just because we knew it was coming eventually,” Sonja said, sipping a beer of her own. “I mean, we all figured you two would have tried to start a family like, six years ago with how crazy attached you guys are. Your parents probably won’t be so shocked about the kid part either. It’s just the whole plan...it’s...a lot.” 

“Well, we were talking about having kids before we were even together for like, a month,” Isak shrugged. Back then, he had felt embarrassed talking to Eskild about how they talked about future children. But, now it wasn’t as far-fetched. It was within reach, the two of them might actually be able to start that family, and soon. “And we’ve gone away before. Just not for so long. And like we said, we’ll be back. One hundred percent, we want to be back here to raise the baby and live our lives.” 

“Doesn’t matter to them though, you know parents, they’ll think you’re doing it just to get away from them,” Jonas said with an eyeroll. Of the four of them, he probably had the best relationship with his parents, but there were some things that seemed to ring true for any parent with kids around their age. “So that’s where I’d bulk up your argument. You have to cushion the States part more with _why_ it’s a good idea to go there.” 

“Good idea,” Even said with a nod, suddenly pulling a pen out of his pocket and reaching for a notebook off the table. “Any more notes?” 

“Just that I want to come with you,” Jonas said with a smile and a shrug, looking at Sonja. “Let’s do it. Spend a year in the States? Or maybe not even that long. But, long enough to get a good experience. Shit, that’d be awesome. And, we’d be spending it with them before the get all boring with a baby like Magnus and Vilde or Adam or Yousef.” 

It was true. Magnus and Vilde hadn’t even been a couple when they had their kid, but they pulled it together for their baby girl and got married about a year later. Though the whole thing was an accident, they suddenly were all grown up and too busy for them all the time. Then the same became true with Adam and his girlfriend, Viola and they suddenly stopped coming around as often. It was less likely to see them more than twice a month after they had become a family. Yousef and Sana were a little better—super parents, to be honest, being able to do anything, but they were still much less present.

“We didn’t invite you,” Isak said with a laugh, shaking his head and then looking over at Jonas with raised eyebrows, “You’d end up hating it anyway. You love it here.” 

“You’d benefit from having friends with you. They’re evil to foreigners over there,” Jonas said with a shrug, Isak could barely tell that he was joking. He almost thought that he wasn’t until he laughed and shook his head. “Oh relax, I’m not actually thinking about it. Besides, we’ve got jobs. We’re kind of glued here. And I hear they’ve been better over there since the Trump regime ended. Oh my God, you know what’d be perfect? Sonja could be your surrogate. Shit, yeah, do that, Babe.” 

“Uh, that’d kill my body,” Sonja told him, raising her eyebrows and sitting back a little. Isak tried not to think about the theoretical fact that a long time ago, she kind of could have been their surrogate. But that was a lifetime ago. “I don’t think so.” 

“Yeah, I guess that’d ruin our chances for more threesomes. Well, I guess you could get guys that had a thing for pregnant women, which is totally a thing. Medical students are freaky, I bet you know a ton and don’t even know it.” 

“Guys, we did not ask Sonja to be our surrogate, I want to make that very clear, okay?” Even asked with a little bit of a laugh. He sounded like he was joking, but Isak knew there was some seriousness under there. Jonas and Sonja did kind of have a way of inviting themselves into some of Isak and Even’s plans. But, this one was going to be nonnegotiable, they’d do it alone. Together. 

“Right, and while I can confirm that medical students can get a little...anatomically kinky, we really don’t need to hear about your threesomes, theoretical or otherwise,” Isak said, keeping up with the joking tone. Though he was pretty serious. 

“They just don’t want reminders,” Jonas said to Sonja and winked. 

“Sometimes I feel like I scarred Isak with my lady parts,” Sonja said with a laugh, sitting back and tilting her beer bottle back all the way to finish it off. 

Jonas was right. Isak wasn’t exactly up for reminders of the night that they got so drunk that they somehow ended up in some sort of orgy with the two of them. For the most part, he and Even didn’t remember that much of it—they had talked afterwards and agreed that maybe it wasn’t a bad experience to have, but still. The idea of the things that were touched, the body parts that collided and with who was just a little more than Isak really needed to think about. The experience kind of just reinforced that he rather that his body parts only came in contact with Even’s. 

“It’s everyone’s go to that lady parts scar me,” Isak said with an eye roll, making sure to keep himself firm and not show any sign of cringy-ness about the incident. That way they wouldn’t get a rise out of his reaction. “But, you know what? You two should get pregnant while we’re gone and then our kids can fall in love, okay?” 

“Hey, I still don’t want to be pregnant. At least two more years until I think about that. Of course I have to leave Jonas first,” Sonja said with a smile, nudging Jonas. “He’s a terrible influence.” 

“Well, you guys can get into that later,” Even said, shaking his head and moving to wrap an arm tight around Isak’s side. “Seriously, though, what do you guys think of all this?” 

“It’s crazy, but hey, it just might work,” Jonas told him with a nod before he tossed back the rest of his beer. He stood up, gathering up everyone’s empties. “One more round and we’ll talk about it some more. Like, are you guys going to go about this medically or does one of you get to fuck some chick?”

~

“Three years of marriage doesn’t sound as impressive as our eight years of being together,” Isak pouted, looking at the form Even had been filling out with their information for their upcoming plans. They took a couple days to gather things together—to set the plan into motion—and one of them was a profile for the surrogacy process through an agency operating in California that Even had found. He left it open on their browser and abandoned it for the night, so Isak couldn’t help but sneak a peek. “Won’t we look stronger if they know we’ve been together for eight years? Actually, write a movie about our entire relationship and submit that. Everyone would love that.”

“A film about how you make me a better person, filled with all the emotional twists and turns that lead us to the path we’re on,” Even said with a smirk, kissing Isak’s lips a couple of times as the two of them got into bed for the night. They were still figuring out what steps they should take first in the process, but they were just kind of moving at their own pace. “But, I think I’d rewrite the proposal. And it wouldn’t rain on our wedding day.” 

“Nope, both of those things were perfect just the way they were, no rewrites, no changes,” Isak told him, shaking his head and moving to lay with his head on Even’s chest. Even was probably going to put on a movie but Isak was tired. He wasn’t sure if it was all the beer with Sonja and Jonas, or if it was all the excitement, but he was exhausted. He would have been fine with spending the next few days working out logistics. He wasn’t exactly ready to tell their parents about their decision. Jonas was right, they were going to think they were leaving because they wanted to get away from them. Everything Even and Isak did seemed to be because they were angry at Even’s parents, according to his parents themselves. 

“The proposal could have been way more romantic,” Even said quietly as he wrapped his arm around Isak, patting his back and turning on the TV as he spoke. 

“It was literally a perfect proposal,” Isak said with an eyeroll to himself before closing his eyes completely. Even was crazy to think anything about his proposal could have been more romantic. Isak re-lived it a million times over in his head after it happened. It was the most perfect thing to happen right up until their wedding day. 

**  
Isak had been a little expecting. The year was 2021 and the two of them were five years into their relationship, and knowing how Even’s mind worked, Isak knew the thought of marriage had crossed over it a million times. But he also knew that Even was going to want it to be perfect. Isak had actually started thinking that maybe he he would have to beat him to it, make it perfect in his own way, when Even finally popped the question himself. 

They were on a date for Isak’s birthday and things had been extremely bland compared to Even’s usual birthday surprises. He always found a way to one-up Isak’s birthday with the marvel of 21:21 and their relationship, but it had seemed that that time around, Even was playing it chill. Though he was shocked by the laid back evening, an early movie followed by dinner, he was happy to be spending it with Even. 

So, after dinner when Even suggested a walk where they used to walk all the time when they lived with Even’s parents, Isak happily obliged, knowing that that was when Even was going to do his one-upping. He prepared himself for sappy stories, fireworks, and something heart-wrenchingly perfect but he still wasn’t prepared enough when it happened. 

It started with the stepping stones; these octagonal, galaxy colored discs on the ground, leading the two of them down a particular path. They led to a blanket in the grass, the galaxy covered discs surrounding it in a perfect circle. Isak remembered the sparkle in Even’s eye as he took Isak’s hand and led him over to the blanket, where they sat, Even beaming wider and wider with the moment. Isak watched him as he got situated, looking at his phone then sliding to sit right beside Isak. 

“This is where I was laying the day that I realized we were destined to be together,” Even said quietly as he nuzzled his nose into the side of Isak’s face, arm wrapping around Isak, hand finding his way to his side. “That was almost five years ago and nothing has changed. The truth still stands, Isak, we are destined to be together. And, today, here, on your birthday at 21:21, I need you to look up at the stars. Because, I promise, we _are_ written in them.” 

Isak smiled to himself, listening to Even’s soft voice in his ear, telling him the love story that was just theirs. He wasn’t sure if it was 21:21, but he looked at the sky as soon as Even told him to, and there it was. _Marry me, Isak_ , was written up in the stars, glittering and almost looking like Even had rearranged the stars just for the occasion. Isak read the words, gasped, then read them again, and once more for good measure before he turned his attention back to Even. He was holding up a ring, the corners of his lips pushed up as he tried to hold back his own smile. 

“Fy faen, yes Even, yes!” Isak basically yelled, taking the ring and putting it on before wrapping his arms tight around Even’s torso and tangling him down to the ground as their lips collided with passion and love. He didn’t know he was crying until he was sniffling, and when he pulled back, Even was crying too. 

“I know we’ve been talking about it forever and it’s like it’s nothing but this is _everything_ I want, Isak,” Even told him, rubbing his thumb underneath Isak’s eye to wipe away some tears. “Five years plus forever. And we have to get married this year because it’s _2021_ and twenty-one is our number and I was thinking on November 11th because then there’ll be the whole eleven-eleven thing.” 

“Sounds like you’ve already made all the plans,” Isak said with a little laugh, moving himself right into Even’s lap and nuzzling their noses together. “Thank god I said yes, huh? Then there’d be all those plans for nothing.” 

“Thank you for saying yes.”

“In every universe, Even.”  
**

“Everything leading up to the proposal was lame, the whole entire day should have been a big thing, it’s what you deserved,” Even told him with a shrug and a smile. 

“I would have suspected it if you made it some big thing,” Isak rebutled, kissing Even’s collar bones and patting him on the chest. “Everything was perfect and if you write about it and change even one little tiny thing, I’m divorcing you.” 

“Then I suppose I’ll just have to write it the way it went, and we’ll just have to see how the next part goes,” Even said with a little laugh, wrapping his arms around Isak tight and rubbing his back. “So hey, I haven’t submitted the profile yet because I was thinking about what Jonas said. Like, about Sonja carrying the baby.”

“Uh, okay? What are you thinking?” 

“I mean, it wouldn’t have to be Sonja, it could be like, anyone we know,” Even said, his voice sounding extremely series right in Isak’s ear. “I mean, obviously not for them to be the biological mother, either. We’d get an egg donor. But, it’d be cool if we could get someone we know to do it. Or maybe not, I don’t know, what do you think?”

“Honestly? I think we’d be better off with a stranger, I mean, the agency makes sure that these are trustworthy women, so I don’t think we have to worry about that,” Isak said and chewed on his lip for a moment or two. “I don’t think we would want to put a weight like that on one of our friends. Besides, I have no idea who would ever want to do that for us.” 

“Chris totally would,” Even said with a little laugh and then nuzzled himself into Isak’s neck, pressing a couple kisses there. “But you’re probably right, I’ll send in the profile tomorrow. I’m just going to look over it one more time.” He nuzzled his nose into Isak’s shoulder and collar bones then the two of them tangled up together. Holding each other close and talking more about their future until they passed out in each other’s arms. 

 

_Monday, Mar.11_

“Well, I mean, I’m talking to my advisor today, but what are you going to do about work if we do this?” Isak asked Even, they were sitting down to breakfast before Isak had to leave for the day. Even wouldn’t have to go into work for another hour, but he always woke up earlier to make breakfast for Isak. He’d found so many different recipes online and every morning it was something different than the day before, but it was always good and Isak was always thanking the universe that Even was a good cook because Isak couldn’t even manage mac and cheese without burning it. 

“I don’t think they’d care enough to notice I’m gone,” Even said with a shrug, sipping his coffee and then taking a bite of his eggs. “I’ll just put in, like a two weeks notice or whatever and be done with it.” 

“But then what are you going to do when we get back?” Isak asked. Of course he was going to be supportive of what Even wanted to do, and he knew that he hated his current job. But if they were truly planning a family, they had to think practical, and Even not having a job wouldn’t be practical. So, he could quit, but they needed a plan. 

“Well, I thought that spending time over there and _hopefully_ getting more experience will open up more opportunities here,” Even told him. Isak could tell he wasn’t worried, which was actually pretty opposite their dynamic. Even always worried, always had to plan things out; they had to be completely perfect. Now it was Isak, feeling like he needed every single detail before they committed. “And, maybe it’ll take some time, but it wouldn’t be terrible to be a stay-at-home Dad. Not permanently or anything, but I don’t know.” 

“Okay…” Isak said, taking a bite of his food and chewing it over. It was true, probably one of them would have to stay home with the baby if they had one. Or, they could look into daycares and stuff, but he wasn’t sure about anything parental, would the baby need to be with one of them all the time when it was so young? Were there rules against that? Parenting methods that frowned upon leaving your child with strangers? There was so much to learn. “...I’m…I just...are we sure we can do this? The more I think about it, the more I realize that I literally don’t know shit about being a parent.” 

“No one goes into being a parent _knowing_ what they’re doing, Isak,” Even said, pushing his plate aside and standing up. He walked over to Isak and started gently massaging his shoulders, trying to ease him. “I’m _sure_ you’ve heard someone say that before. We’ll learn, we can do this. We can do anything together, remember?” 

“You’re right, of course you’re right,” Isak breathed, letting his head fall while Even continued massaging his shoulders. He was so good at it, knowing exactly where Isak held all of his tension. “But what if my advisor says I can’t go out there? Then it’s going to be all my fault that we can’t.”

“If your advisor says no, we’ll figure it out,” Even said calmly, slowly letting up on Isak’s neck before moving to kneel beside him at the table. “I wouldn’t let you sacrifice everything you’ve worked for, so you could finish out your residency here and we could figure out the best way to do it after that. Don’t worry, this is going to happen. As long as you seriously want it to. And if you don’t, we can drop it right now, no harm done.” 

“I do,” Isak admitted, his entire being completely tugged forward by his heart strings. It made his stomach flip and his heart race; he was terrified and unsure of how everything might turn out, yet he was somehow completely into the idea. “I really would love to have a baby with you.”

“I know you want a baby with me, love,” Even said, caressing Isak’s cheek and moving a little closer to him. “But, it’s not just that you want it. You have to be into it. There’s other ways we could have a baby and I chose what is probably going to be the most difficult. I know that. So, you have to be into the idea, too. It’s all or nothing.”

“It’s crazy, Even, but I’m into it,” Isak told him honestly, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against his husband’s. “One hundred percent.”

~

“This is seriously something you want to do?” Isak’s advisor, Markus, asked him after Isak unloaded the plan onto him. To finish his residency in the states starting in August so that he and Even could start their family. He’d looked more into the situation before coming to the office and it seemed that more recent policies that had come with the progression in the country and in the world made him doing this. Students who wanted to do part of their residency in foreign countries usually had that planned from the start, though, so Isak was behind. He hoped that wouldn’t mind. 

“I really do, yeah,” Isak told him, wondering how many people he was going to have to convince that he wanted to do it. Even was already asking him, like, four times a day, and then it seemed that it was a pattern that was starting to form.

“What about the last time we talked?” Markus asked, typing up some things on his computer and then leaning backward. Markus was a cool guy, not yet tenured so he still tried at his job, and he’d helped Isak out a number of times since he started at the University of Oslo. Isak knew that if this were possible, Markus would do whatever he could to make it happen for him. 

“What about it?”

“You were thinking of switching direction, going for you PhD,” Markus said, folding his hands and cupping them around his knee as he crossed his legs. “I looked into it and I think we could get you switched over to the program easily. You might have to switch gears a little for your dissertation if you’ve already started thinking about it—which I hope you have. But we could squeeze you in a couple night time classes, and I can give you some abandoned but good ideas for the research project and if you worked hard enough...Well, I figured that you’re a seriously accomplished student here, you seem to like the subject matter, so I wanted to make sure that you had the option in a timely manner. Have you given up on that idea?” 

“Well, I…” Isak bit his lip and leaned back, rubbing the back of his head. Having a PhD _did_ seem pretty cool. He’d be able to do what he wanted just fine with his PsyD but he still kind of felt like having the PhD would be a good cushion if things didn’t turn out the way he wanted. “I mean, I could still do it when I got back, couldn’t I? Or couldn’t I just work on my dissertation _and_ the research project while I’m out there doing that? I mean, you said it yourself: I’m accomplished and driven and stuff, I could manage.” 

“While working on your dissertation while being out of the country isn’t unheard of, I don’t know,” Markus said, his voice gentle as he moved forward in his seat to get a closer, more personal view of Isak. “I think you’re a great student and I believe you would be driven but all of that is _a lot_. Think about it. You’d be in a foreign country, doing your residency, probably working otherwise, too, and that’s on top of this whole plan you and your husband have, not to mention even entertaining the thought of having a social life. You really want to add the work for your PhD onto all of that stress? You’d have to schedule Skype meetings with the committee and give frequent updates on your project and dissertation, change and revise anything they don’t agree with, and so much more. I just don’t see it being rational.” 

“Well, if I work my ass of now, it’ll pay off later,” Isak said. He knew it sounded like hell, but he wasn’t sure he was okay with giving up the idea of the PhD just yet. He was going to want to talk to Even about it, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to give him any reason to call off the plans. He knew Even probably wouldn’t let him give up the opportunity, he’d probably call everything right off. But Isak didn’t want that. “Listen, can’t we just start looking into the residency out there and I’ll think about the dissertation a little, and you can send me those research project ideas and if I decide to go for it, then we’ll add it on.” 

“Are you sure? Because while I think that what you and your husband are planning is absolutely amazing, I also think this would be a lot for _anybody_ ,” Markus said, a concerned look in his eyes as he looked at Isak. It made Isak feel small. He hadn’t really felt like a student since his residency began, but he was starting to feel it again. The idea of being less, knowing less, being more naive than the person sitting in front of him was agitating. “You’ve always seemed to have your head high, a clear path and a focus. I’d hate to see this throw you off track.” 

“Listen Markus, I know you’re my advisor and you probably have a lot of students who come through here, but I kind of think of you as a friend,” Isak said, leaning forward in his seat and resting his elbows on his knees. “And something all my friends know is that my life with Even comes first. He and I have been talking about kids since I was seventeen. We’ve been good, we’ve waited. Yes, I have clear career goals, but I’d pick my life with him over any job ever. So, if I have to be overbooked, or if I have to put things off for a year, I’m going to do it.”

“You don’t think all this could put a strain on your relationship?” Markus asked.

“Even and I can make it through anything, I’m positive of that,” Isak said confidently. He was confident, and Markus’ doubt somehow seemed to make him more confident. Like he was in some serious need of proving him wrong. Which, really only motivated him more. “So let’s do what we have to do to get this plan into motion. Okay?” 

By the end of their meeting, Markus was emailing Isak links of paperwork to fill out and he was once step closer. He couldn’t wait to get home to tell Even, there were way too many hours left in the day to go by before that could happen, so he called him on his way over to his residency.

“Markus thinks it’s going to be a lot of work, but he says I can do it,” Isak told him happily over the facetime call. He was walking down the street and Even was standing in the hallway at his office, having stepped away to take the call. “I’ve got some stuff to fill out and then basically we’re on our way, baby.” 

“Seriously? Isak, that is so fucking amazing, Isak,” Even said, his face brightening and his smiling widening with Isak’s news. “God, we’re celebrating later. Whoever gets home first can pick the position.” 

“Jesus, Ev, you’re at work,” Isak said with a little laugh, looking around him on the street to see if anyone walking by had heard. “You probably shouldn’t be saying that stuff.” 

“Trust me, they say way worse shit than that,” Even said, rolling his eyes. He worked with a bunch of guys in an office that edited sports commercials, whether it was an athlete endorsement, or a hype up for a season or a game, they handled it for a random select few teams throughout Norway. It wasn’t what he wanted to do, but when he was offered the job, he thought it’d be good experience. But, he wound up hating it and hating his co-workers. “Besides, no one’s around. I could even tell you what position I’d pick without breaking a sweat.” 

“Mm, I’m going to need to think about it more,” Isak said, not being able to help the little smirk on his lips. He and Even had tried so many different damn positions over the years and they never stayed in one for the entire duration of sex, anyway, so it’d be a hard choice, would have to be the right combo. But, he really couldn’t think about it before work. “I like that we’ve been together for eight years and you still manage to turn me on so easily. Like I’m still a hormonal teenager.” 

“I like your hormones, too,” Even said with a little laugh. “I suppose our sex life never died down, did it?” 

“Eh, sometimes,” Isak said with a shrug to himself and a smile at Even, “but you can never resist me for long.” 

“I really can’t,” Even said, laughing again and shaking his head with it this time. He threw his head back then focused on something in the background. Isak heard the mumbling of another voice but couldn’t make out the words. But, then Even looked back and sighed, “Hey baby, I’m sorry, I have to go. I’ll text you. And I’m so excited.” 

“Alright, love you.” 

“Love you too,” Even said and then blew him a kiss. “And remember, the first one home.” 

“First one home,” Isak repeated and shook his head at his husband. “See you then.” 

 

_Wednesday Mar.13_

It may have been time to tell their parents of the idea that was brewing into a full on agenda. With Even already having researched and known the steps they’d have to take, the plan seemed to take right off. Within the week, they’d have everything they needed submitted and then within the month they’d have approval on just about everything—hopefully. After that, they could start looking into surrogates and donors and good cities in California to live in that would accommodate Isak’s residency qualifications and have good job opportunities with Even. Not to mention, top rated healthcare. And, they were going to need advice. Even’s parents were going to have to know and then eventually, Isak would have to tell his own. 

Over the years, they managed to keep a schedule with Even’s parents. Josefine and Martin helped them through some financial situations and Even and Isak returned the favor by making sure to see them as often as possible. Sometimes they’d drop by to help Even’s Dad with something that needed to be done in the house, like painting or fixing shelves. Sometimes, Ana was having trouble in school and insisted she needed Isak’s help—of course he’d come over and basically she’d gossip his ear off, but he’d try. And, of course there were the family dinners. Every Thursday, they’d meet at Martin and Josefine’s house for dinner, and Isak’s mom would join them some of the time too with her new caretaker, Alexander. 

He’d see his Dad and his wife every now and again, too. When he found out that Lisa was pregnant, he spiraled a little. It wasn’t long after that he and Even started therapy and he started tackling his abandonment issues. It wasn’t until a year or so after his baby brother, Milo, was born that Isak had it in him to finally accept Terje back into his life. Sometimes he and Even would babysit Milo and they’d have dinner with them, and things could be strange sometimes but Isak tried to listen to his therapist, and as he learned more and more on the subject in classes, and now it all felt okay. 

Of course, he and Even were worried about exactly what Jonas had said. Both of their parents besides maybe Isak’s Mom were going to think that they were making this decision to get away from them. It seemed that every time they made an adult decision for themselves, their parents got defensive about how far they were drifting from them. A year-plus in the States was going to be the icing on the cake for all of them and Isak and Even were more than fully aware. 

“See, I know we always tell _my_ parents first because they’re more reasonable, but I don’t know, I think we should rip the bandage off and tell your Dad first this time,” Even said. They were on the couch, Even on one end while Isak laid across the whole thing. They were completely naked post coitus and Even was massaging Isak’s feet. Isak didn’t know how their post-sex talk managed to break down to this, but it seemed as good a time as any to talk about it. “He’ll probably be the worst, so it’ll feel like a breeze going through my parents.”

“I don’t know, your Mom always makes me feel so terrible,” Isak groaned, letting his head fall back and staring up at the ceiling. “She’s all like _I helped you when you needed it, I took care of you_ and she did, she totally did but how long do we have to be under her control because of it?”

“You, I’d say only a couple more years,” Even said with a little laugh, “Me, she gave birth to me, I’m stuck feeling guilty forever and ever. But, I don’t know. She wants grandkids, I know it, so yeah, we’re going far away but what we get out of it might be far better than that is bad.” 

“See, this is why you need to do all of the talking,” Isak said, pushing himself back up onto his elbows then sitting up completely and scooching across the couch to get closer to his man. “You have a way with words that make it sound ten times better.”

“Oh yeah, so you want me to be the one to tell every single one of them, then?” Even asked with a humorous expression, his eyebrows lifted up while he bared his teeth in a smile. “Should I do it in a haiku format? The two of us are….trying to have a baby….out of the country.” 

“Out of the country doesn’t sound as bad as going all the way to the States,” Isak said with a laugh, wrapping his arms around the side of Even’s neck and moving to sit across his lap. “I realize the research said it was an easier option and that with Hollywood and stuff maybe it’s a better option for you, but are you sure it’s the best place to go?” 

“We’ve never been, and who knows if we’ll ever have a reason to go again, so even if it wasn’t, it’s still be this amazing opportunity,” Even said with a little shrug, looking at Isak. His hands found Isak’s hips and rubbed his thumbs into his hip bones. “You’re still all in?” 

“I’m still all in, Even.” 

“Okay, just checking,” Even said, smiling and nudging the side of Isak’s face with his nose. “So, we’ll start with Terje and Lisa tomorrow, then?” 

“Yeah, fine, tomorrow,” Isak said and then started moving again until he was firmly straddled in Even’s lap. He pressed his forehead into Even and then nipped at his bottom lip, tugging away slowly, “But tonight, I think we have time for one more round before we start thinking about bed.” 

 

_Thursday, Mar.14_

Choosing Isak’s Dad to tell first went over just as well as either of the boys could have imagined. Ripping the bandage off didn’t even begin to describe it. It was more like diving head first into freezing cold, shallow water with pointy rocks just below the surface. Basically the equivalent of death. Yeah, Isak felt pretty good about equating it to death. 

“You guys are not serious about this. I mean, I’m sorry, it’s just not natural!” Terje was saying, he had just asked Milo to leave the room. After his exit and the awkward silence that fell over the table, Terje gave himself the go ahead to rip the plan apart. To rip Isak’s lifestyle apart as he always did. Over the years he seemed more tolerable about the idea of Isak being gay. Of course Isak helped by keeping himself PG around him with Even and by never once complaining about Even to him. But, it was as if there was something fundamentally wrong with him, a core part of his being that made his homophobia impossible to crack. “It would be one thing to think that you could adopt a child and raise it without a mother. But surrogacy is messing with God on a whole new level.” 

“Terje, I don’t even know where to begin with how amazingly wrong you are, once again,” Even said, always being the one to act first, to jump first into the line of fire with Terje. They tolerated each other fine but Even was never going to be able to sit back while he said the stupid things he’d always manage to say. “People grow up without moms all the time, people grow up without parents, period. Isak and I are going to be everything a baby would need and more. And surrogacy is just a way for us to try to fit into the lifestyle that people like you try to push us into. Maybe I shouldn’t care if my child has Isak’s eyes or not, but screw it, I want it and it’s possible so we’re going to.”

“And we’re going to do it regardless of what you say, Terje,” Isak said, moving his hand to Even’s thigh and squeezing it as he met his Dad’s eyes for just a little display of affection to solidify their stance. “If you think it’s unnatural then you don’t need to be in our life or our baby’s life. I’ll keep up with Milo on my own time.”

“I support you boys,” Lisa said, looking at Terje and then standing up and walking over to sit on the couch next to Isak. “I’ll help you keep up with Milo and I really hope you’ll allow me to help out with the baby.” Isak’s first impression of Lisa was that she was a trophy wife. Young, beautiful, in need of a sugar Daddy. But, over the years, he found that she was so much more. Sure, his Dad probably married her for her looks, but she was a good person and a great mom with a big heart. She’d do anything for Milo and she was always offering to help Even and Isak. She was too good for his Dad but he didn’t interfere. 

“Of course, Lisa,” Isak said, smiling and turning in her direction. “Maybe you can return the babysitting favor.” 

“We don’t need them corrupting the mind of our son, Lisa,” Terje said, crossing his arms and looking over at him. “It’s one thing forcing their lifestyle on him at his age, but it’s another to go through all this as if it’s completely normal.”

“Don’t worry, we’re not going to be _rubbing our gay off_ on him or anything, Terje,” Isak said with an eyeroll. “And we’re not forcing anything on him. He understands that love is love better than you do. Seriously, you need to get a fucking grip. But, I’m not looking for your approval here. We just thought we’d inform you, we thought maybe you’d be excited to be a grandfather, but whatever, Terje, really. You go on being you because the only fucking thing I can count on with you is that you’ll still be the same asshole tomorrow that you were today and the day before.”

“He’s got a point, but with that, I think we’ll leave,” Even said, standing up and offering a hand out to Isak. “We’ll talk to you later Lisa, and yes we’re going to say bye to Milo on the way out.” 

“You always do this, Terje,” Lisa started saying, throwing her hands up in the air. Unfortunately, they’d be leaving Milo alone to listen to the two of them fight, but Isak did manage to make sure he listened to cool music—even if he was too young for some of it—to help drown it out. “Seriously, he’s your son, they’re our family, _our son’s_ family!...” 

“Lisa should just take Milo and leave your Dad, I think that’d be the perfect turn of events,” Even said quietly into Isak’s ear as they walked down the hall to Milo’s room to say goodbye to him. They knocked on the door that was cracked open then walked in. “Hey Milo, we’re leaving.”

“Awh man, but we hardly got to hang out,” He said, getting up off the floor where he was playing on a tablet and walking over to the boys. “So you guys are going to have a baby?” 

“We certainly hope so,” Isak said with a smile, kneeling to get down to his seven-year-old brother’s level. “That’d make you an uncle, isn’t that pretty cool?” 

“Uhhh, yeah!” Milo said excitedly, jumping up and gripping onto Isak’s arms. “Wait...I could be an uncle? But I’m not old enough.” 

“Eh, it doesn’t matter,” Even said, kneeling down too, “You’ll be a great uncle. You know all the fun games, and in a couple of years you’ll be able to babysit and be in charge, too. Isn’t that awesome?” 

“Okay, but I’m not changing any diapers. That is _gross._ ”

~ 

“After that, I’m just saying we wait just a few more days to tell your parents,” Isak said to Even as they lie on their couch. They’d just finished watching one of Even’s movie choices and now they were spooning, Isak’s chest pressed up against Even’s back while his arm fell asleep under his husband’s weight. They had been talking about the movie, but the conversation moved, as it had been lately, to the matter at hand. “If you haven’t noticed, I don’t have a great relationship with my Dad and your parents still like me. They won’t anymore when they find out I’m taking you away.” 

“You and your Dad have a terrible relationship? So bad that all the gods in the universe couldn’t fix it even if they worked together? Huh. Hadn’t noticed,” Even said before slowly turning in his arms to face Isak. “You know what’s awful? I’m kind of hoping that Milo is gay. Then we could explain to Terje that it’s probably him passing down all these gay genes and it’s all his fault.” 

“Unfortunately, I think that if Milo was gay, Terje would just be blaming you and I,” Isak said, rolling his eyes and moving his arm out from under Even. “He’d say we rubbed our gay off on him or something like that. Trust me, there is no way we could ever convince him that it’s a genetic thing.” 

“Regardless, it’d be hilarious, because it’s everything he doesn’t want and he kind of deserves that for being such a dick,” Even said, his hand finding its way up the side of Isak’s shirt while they sat there cuddled like that. “But, about my parents, it’s not going to be _that_ terrible. I mean, at least they won’t be judging our entire lifestyle.”

“Yeah, I know, but still,” Isak sighed and moved his face closer to Even’s nuzzling their noses and brushing their lips. “I don’t know, I just hope that they’ll support us. At least a little.”

“They will, baby,” Even told him, kissing him on the lips a couple of times. “Eventually, at least. We’ll wait a few days, but we can’t wait forever. Now, I’m going to go shower. Want to join me?”

“Nei, I’m way too lazy for that right now. I think I’m going to call Eskild,” Isak said as the two of them slowly sat up on the couch. It wasn’t very often that Isak wouldn’t take Even up on the offer to conserve water and shower together, but he really didn’t feel like it. 

“Eskild?” Even paused where he now sat on the couch, looking at Isak beside him with an eyebrow raised. “Does that mean there’s something you’re not telling me that you want to tell him, then? Because I thought we talked about that...” 

“Nei, nei, Even, _nei_. I’m not keeping anything from you that I’m about to tell Eskild,” Isak had said it before, and sometimes it was true, and sometimes he’d be halfway into talking to Eskild and suddenly it was a lie all over again. But, Isak always ended up telling Even everything, anyway. He knew that Even got jealous when it seemed like Isak could tell Eskild something he couldn’t tell Even, so he tried. But Eskild was good at people. He was good at predicting accurate responses Even might have to some of the things Isak had to tell him. It was good preparation. “I just want to call him and check up on Eva and Noora and maybe tell them the news if it seems appropriate. That’s all.” 

“Alright,” Even said, looking at Isak in the eyes for a couple moments and trying to get a peek into his soul to tell whether or not Isak seemed to be telling the truth. When he decided it was true after a few short moments, he kissed Isak on the lips and stood up, “Tell them I say hi and let me know how Eva’s doing.” 

“Mmkay, I’ll try not to talk for too long and I’ll join you in bed when I’m done, try not to fall asleep on me,” Isak said. He knew the call would probably last the duration of Even’s shower, if not an hour past that if he didn’t control it. When he called Eskild and the girls, there were always so many stories to be told, way too much to be said, and Isak loved it, but sometimes he was pretty sure he didn’t need to know every last detail. But every last detail seemed to be Eskild’s specialty nowadays. 

“If you’re on the phone past midnight, I can’t promise anything,” Even told him, leaning back down and kissing him on the lips one more time before he walked off into the bathroom. Isak watched him leave then laid down on his back on the couch and pulled out his phone to FaceTime Eskild. He held it up over his face and stared at the screen as it rang, waiting for him to pick up. 

“Baby Gay, long time no talk,” Eskild greeted as his face appeared on the screen, a cup in hand and a straw hanging out the side of his mouth. 

“We talked like, a week ago, and I also commented on your post the other day,” Isak defended, rolling his eyes at Eskild’s nickname for him. He was never in his lifetime going to get Eskild to stop calling him that, and stop calling himself Isak’s Guru. He decided a long time ago that maybe Eskild would give up on it if he just ignored it, but no, he just kept on.

“Yes, but you only call when you like, _want_ to talk,” Eskild said, holding the phone out to angle the camera down his cup while he took a long sip out of the straw. “Is something up?” 

“Nei, well, maybe,” Isak shrugged and then moved to sit up. He wasn’t sure he wanted to drop the news. He needed to gauge the situation over on Eskild’s side, find out whether or not it was appropriate for good news to be told from Isak’s side. “How are things over there? How is Eva?” 

“Well, last week was kind of a mess, but she’s really taking the therapy like a champ,” Eskild said with a little sigh. “She’s got two more treatments left and after that, the doctors say she’ll have been over the worst of it and then after that, things will be up and up. I have very high hopes, honestly. And, God, Noora is such a good caretaker. Eva’s so lucky to have a love like that right now.” 

“And where are they?” 

“They passed out hours ago,” Eskild said, looking around the room and then back at Isak. “When Eva’s doing treatment, they sleep early and I drink alone and see if any grindr boys want to come over and hook up. It’s really a lavish lifestyle. I’m happy to be here and to be helping though.” 

“I know you are,” Isak said with a little laugh and a roll of the eyes. Eskild, Noora and Eva were all in the UK while Eva went through her treatments. Noora and Eva had broken up about a year or so out of high school and then rekindled again at Even and Isak’s wedding, but then about a year and a half later, Eva was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. Then things moved fast. She had a surgery somewhere around a month after that, then suddenly she, Noora, and Eskild were picking up and moving to London. 

It was because Eva suddenly didn’t want to stand still. She wanted to move, go different places, explore the world. Noora had told Isak that she found good medical care for Eva out in London, and then after she completed treatment, they’d go wherever she wanted. In the meantime, they’d make any mini weekend trips around europe that they could manage. So then he was saying goodbye and they were gone and somehow Eskild had made his way into their plans too. Which was good for Isak, because Eskild was the easiest of the three to get ahold of. Especially because he wanted to keep up with Eva as much as possible.

“But seriously, they’re not out here so if you have problems to discuss, I promise I won’t remind you that Eva is in an incredibly worse position and your problems are pedestrian in comparison,” Eskild said, moving around on the other line until he was laying down on a pillow on his side. 

“No problems to speak of,” Isak said, licking his lips and looking up, debating on telling him. “But, I mean, I guess I kind of do have news. And it’s kind of good news and I feel kind of bad that I have good news while Eva’s going through that.” 

“Eva is well aware that everyone’s else’s lives are going to continue to go on whether or not she’s sick,” Eskild said matter-of-factly as if trying to make him feel bad for thinking that way. Which he probably was. Since Eva got sick, the three of them started this whole thing about not treating her like she was sick. They said that they were going to move forward and keep on doing so until there was no more forward. It was motivating and a great concept, but it could be difficult sometimes. “So good news is great news, Isak. What’s going on over there? Did Even get you pregnant?”

“Maybe I got _him_ pregnant.” 

“I walked in on him plowing you more than once Isak,” Eskild said with a laugh, shaking his head. “Not the other way around. And moves that hot must be how people get pregnant.”

“I thought we weren’t talking about that anymore,” Isak groaned, letting the hand hold his phone fall to the floor while he blushed and smiled to himself. It was incredible embarrassing, but he had learned to laugh at himself and his embarrassment, so the smile had become second nature. Plus, Eskild was right: If anyone was getting anyone pregnant with hot moves, it was probably going to be Even getting Isak pregnant. 

“Yeah, I’ll move on, but just because I’m super curious about this good news,” Eskild said as Isak picked his hand back up to hold his phone back in front of his face. Eskild did have his dramatically curious face on, squinted eyes and partially pursed lips. And, suddenly, of course, Isak wanted to tell him. 

“You were actually kind of right,” Isak said, laughing as he thought about it. Though, he definitely did not want to be pregnant, and was usually pretty happy that he couldn’t be. “I mean, obviously, neither of us are pregnant. But, we are actually planning on having a baby. Like, getting a surrogate so it can be genetically related to one of us. And we would do it in the States and the plan is already in motion, actually.”

“You are totally going to kill your sex life.” 

“You said that about getting married, too,” Isak told him, rolling his eyes, “But after we got married, our sex life just go better. Kinkier, hotter, more energetic, and god now we’re just so flexible and we could probably raise a lot of money for one of those charity runs. Like, sex probably put us in the best shape of our lives.” 

“And you’re giving it up, Baby Gay,” Eskild told him, “And, I’m not saying I’m not happy for you. If this is what you want, then that is amazing and I’m behind it one hundred percent. And I also call dibs on being a godparent or whatever. But, I’m just saying, babies are a lot of work and this is like, a whole other person you’re responsible for and you definitely can’t have sex around but will definitely always be around. You’ll be sexless with a beer belly in like, six months.”

“You’re not going to scare me out of it,” Isak said with a sigh, getting up and looking around. He and Eskild hadn’t been talking that long but he was kind of already over it. He was over being met with people who weren’t just instantly happy about this. It seemed like they all had something to say to the contrary. They were _supportive_ but not excited for them and it was just a little annoying. “We’re doing it, Eskild, and we’ll figure out sex. Trust me, if anyone can do it, it’s me and Even.” 

“You’re right, you’re like the strongest couple I know behind Yousef and Sana,” Eskild said with a smirk. “How are they?” 

“We are definitely stronger than them, but they are pretty great,” Isak said, walking towards the bathroom with his phone. Now he was up for joining Even in the shower. “Listen, I actually have to jump in the shower before bed. I just thought I’d tell you the news. Don’t tell the girls but tell them to call me soon and tell them I have news.” 

“Okay, Isak, and really, I am so happy for you and Even, you’ll be great parents,” Eskild told him, “And I’ll make sure I’m around when you tell them so we can talk some more and I can hear more about this crazy plan of yours.” 

“Sounds good, I’ll talk to you then,” Isak said and hung up, walking into the bathroom and beginning to pull off his clothes. It was already steamy and Even was in the shower, whistling to himself. Once Isak was undressed, he announced himself and then pulled the curtain and stepped in. 

“Was Eskild busy?” Even asked, turning around and grabbing shampoo for Isak. 

“Nei,” Isak sighed and then wrapped his arms around Even instead of taking the shampoo from his outstretched hand. He rested his chin on his shoulder and circled his arms as tight around him as possible for comfort. “He just wasn’t as excited as I wanted him to be. Do you think anyone’s going to be excited for us?” 

“I’m excited for us,” Even said moving to set the shampoo back down and then wrapping his arms tight around Isak, the two of them now standing under the stream of water. Even stroked his back and pressed the side of his face to Isak’s neck and ear. “What did he say?” 

“He’s just worried about our sex life,” Isak sighed, keeping himself pressed tight against his love. “Or maybe he was just trying to scare me.” 

“Well, it probably won’t be _as_ active as it is right now, but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about,” Even said with a little laugh, squeezing Isak tight. “We’d definitely find a way to figure it out. I’m not worried at all.” 

“I’m going to have to get a gym membership so that I can keep drinking beer,” Isak said, only partly teasing. But, he probably would have to if they didn’t keep up their current pace. Not that it wasn’t okay. He could handle it. There was nothing to be worried about. He just wanted people to be happy for them. 

“You don’t have to yet,” Even said with a little laugh, pulling back a little to look at Isak and sliding his hands to his ass. He gave it a good squeeze and smirked, raising his eyebrows playfully at Isak. “And, I think I might be able to change your mood while I prove that to you.”

“I would like that,” Isak told him before surging up and pressing his lips to his husbands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hi, yes, Eva is sick and I'm sorry about that, when the story was developing, it just kind of happened but I have much planned for this so I hope you like it. If you don't, I'm sorry, I'll stop, I'll move on.
> 
> So, comment, kudo, lemme know. Byeee.


	2. Everything I Ever Wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who have read and commented! I'm happy to hear that you guys are excited for the sequel. I hope these first couple chapters aren't too slow, though.  
> It's a lot of staging right now but I hope you enjoy <3\. (not completely proofread, sorry)

_Sunday, Mar.17_

Since Isak and Even spent dinner on Thursday with Isak’s Dad per their strategy, they rescheduled their normal dinner with Even’s parents to Sunday. They hadn’t completely decided until Sunday morning that they were going to tell them. Things were moving fast and if Josefine had any inkling that they were keeping it from them for too long, then it was going to be double the guilt she might make them feel. So, they were spending the afternoon planning how they’d break it to them when Ana texted Isak and asked if they could come early because she needed help. 

“So, what do you think it is this time, more backstabbing?” Even asked, referring to what Ana needed from Isak. Usually, of course, it was some sort of gossip, disguised in Science homework. And, for the most part, Isak relayed all of the stories to Even, because it made them laugh and remember their own high school days, but Isak was worried that it was about a boy this time. 

It had been about boys before, but Ana was always so innocent, and nowadays on her snapchats—which Even was blocked from but Isak could see—seemed a little less innocent. Kind of like Isak at seventeen. The last bit of gossip was about a boy that she liked getting _physical_ with one of her best friends. He had told Even about the boy, and that Ana liked him, but not all the details to try to shield Ana. Even was always going to be the protective older brother, which is why Isak fell into the cool, older brother-in-law position. 

“My guess is Kari is giving her attitude again,” Isak lied with a little laugh, grabbing his keys and escorting Even out of their apartment. Even would drive, as usual, and he’d open Isak’s door then would walk around the car and get in. Of course, as Isak lied, he met Even’s eyes, and when Even opened his door for him, he was looking right at him with a smile, as if he knew. “Or maybe it’ll be about the boy she liked, who knows.” 

“The drummer? He’s still dating her friend, right?” Even asked, kissing Isak’s nose before walking around and getting into the driver’s side. 

“As far as I know, yeah,” Isak said, buckling up and looking at Even, “You should probably drop the protective brother act now, Babe. Studies show that it just makes them act out more. Besides, she’s _seventeen_. I mean, at seventeen, we were… I was… I mean.” 

“You were in love,” Even said, raising his eyebrows then starting the car and beginning to drive, “Sonja might’ve been a fluke, I was in a bad place but I loved Mikael too. Ana is not in love. And boys nowadays are even worse than they were then and we were so bad then. God, think of Magnus. Remember Magnus? Fy faen. If she...you know, guys are going to talk about her like that. Look at her _like that_.” 

“Well, I’d say your sister has better taste than to fall for someone like Magnus,” Isak told him, reaching over and squeezing his leg. “Have more trust in her. What we want to focus on is that if she, you know, she feels okay talking to someone about it. Not me, I pray not me but someone. And that she’s safe and not getting pregnant and whatnot.” 

“Mkay, well, I’d rather you go back to lying to me now.”

~

“Couldn’t you just go with me? Please,” Ana pleaded to Isak. He was sitting on the desk in her room and she was on the bed, kicking her feet on the ground. Isak could tell she was slightly nervous talking to him about this, but apparently, he was her choice. He knew he had a bad feeling about this talk.

“Even would literally kill me if I brought you to get birth control,” Isak said putting his hand over his eyes and then rubbing his face. “Please get it if you’re seriously thinking about it but also please leave me out of it. And, also, the pill doesn’t protect from STD’s, and it’s hard to trust people nowadays, so you should use condoms, too.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know all of it, but I don’t want to go alone and Mom embarrasses the shit out of me and my friends don’t take anything seriously and so I need you to come with me, please Isak,” Ana pouted her lip a little and tried to give Isak her best puppy dog eyes. They didn’t work so much anymore, the more gossip she gave him, the less innocent she became and so Isak stood firm on his stance. “Besides, I mean, duh, I have condoms. And we’re already planning it out because we’ll have been together for technically three months then and yeah, we’ll do it with or without the pill. That’s longer than you and Even waited, by the way.” 

“The last time you talked to me about this guy, he was screwing your friend,” Isak groaned, getting up and walking over to the bed to sit next to her. “And Even and I were in love for a long time before that, we’re a terrible example if you want to follow the norm of things. I really, really think that you should be able to do that alone if you’re ready for that step, but I guess if you seriously won’t, I’d rather know that you were safe..” 

“Oh my God, you’re saying yes! Can we go tomorrow, because I know it takes like a month or whatever to really start working, and we’re getting really close to the cut here,” Ana squealed and hugged Isak before getting up. 

“And you’re sure you can’t go alone?” 

“Hey guys,” Even said, knocking on the door and slowly opening it, “Sorry to interrupt but dinner’s just about ready and Mom wants you to set the table, Ana.” 

“Can’t you do it?” Ana groaned, walking over to the door where Even stood. 

“I don’t live here, I’m your guest,” Even challenged her with a smirk, “Besides, she asked you, now go.” 

“Fine, we’re done talking anyway,” Ana huffed and nudged her shoulder against Even’s side as she pushed past the doorway. Even raised an eyebrow and looked at Isak as he leaned against the doorframe. 

“I’ll tell you about it later,” Isak sighed and stood up, walking over to Even and pushing up on his toes to kiss Even gently for a moment. “Are you ready to tell them the wonderful news, my love?” 

*  
“I’ve done the research and having a child through surrogacy is completely possible for us,” Even told his parents, Isak sitting so close to him at the table that their legs we touching, and Isak’s hand was gripped supportively on Even’s thigh. “And we want to do it. So, we’ve decided that Isak is going to finish is residency in the States and we’re going to do it out there. Then we’ll come back here and raise our child.” 

“In the States, huh?” Martin asked pensively, looking at the two of them then nervously over at his wife as if he was worried about her reaction. “If doing it here is more costly or whatever, we could help, right Honey?” 

“Yeah, of course, I mean, the States are so far away,” Josefine said, her eyes wide, but somehow also keeping her cool on the surface. “We could definitely help you get it done here. You don’t have to go so far away from us.” 

“It’s about the experience, too,” Isak chimed in, squeezing Even’s thigh and giving him a quick smile before turning back to his parents. “We’ve been able to travel a lot, but never to the States. I think it could be really good for Even’s career, too, what with the industry out there. It’s only a year or so, though. Then we’ll be right back here...with your grandchild.” 

“That’ll be the longest you’ve been gone,” Ana said, setting down her fork and looking around the table. “What if you get there and you love it and never want to come back? Like, you know I’m on your side, but you can’t leave forever.” 

“This is where we want to raise a family,” Even said firmly. And, it was true, when they talked about it, it seemed to be the consensus. Oslo was where they grew up and it’s where their family was, where their life was, and they were happy to continue living their and growing their own family there. Even once thought that maybe he was destined for something more, but he was done trying to reach for more when he had everything he ever wanted with Isak. “It’s our plan, we’ll be back. That’s a definite.” 

“Well then, this is great,” Martin said, clasping his hands on the table and smiling at the two of them. 

“Absolutely amazing,” Josefine said, standing up and walking over to their side of the table. Before he knew it, Even was encompassed in his Mom’s arms, being held tight while she swayed happily back and forth. He was shocked because, well, Josefine was always making things difficult for the two of them. “My boys are having a baby! It’s incredible. I will help out with everything and anything I can.”

“Seriously? You guys are excited?” Isak asked, his hand on Even’s thigh sliding off as Even stood up to more fully hug his mother. 

“Of course, honey, come here,” Josefine said before pulling Isak into the almost-too-tight hug. Isak grunted and hugged back, his arms finding their way around the two of them while Josefine got her fill. “If only we could speed up the process. Oh, I can’t wait to be a Grandmother! I can’t wait to have baby cheeks to pinch again.”

“So, how are you choosing which one of you will be like, bio dad?” Ana asked monotonously across the table. Josefine let go of the two of them and then looked over at Ana, her look scolding. “What? I mean, there can only be one. My vote is Isak, he’s hotter.” 

“I disagree,” Isak said, his hand finding its way to Even’s lower back as the two of them sat back down in their seats. Ana was always mean to Even in return for him being overprotective. It seemed to be a pretty average sibling relationship. He was protective, even though she got on his nerves, and she was the perpetually annoying little sister. Somehow it worked. “Even is beautiful and anyone with his genes would be incredibly lucky, Ana. That includes you, because—just a reminder—you share genes.”  
*

_Tuesday Mar.19_

“You know, I feel like you think you’ve won the argument over which one of us this thing is going to be genetically related to,” Isak said, setting down his laptop and looking over at Even. Isak was doing research for the idea that Markus gave him for his project, but Even was across the room, looking at possible profiles for eggs donors through the agency they were planning on using. And Even was just going on and on about how well the aforementioned genes would work with Isak’s. 

“I told you, I want a baby Isak,” Even said, very firmly, closing his own laptop just a little to look at Isak. “It was my idea and I really just want a baby you.” 

“But I want a baby Even,” Isak pouted a little and then sat his laptop aside, walking over to the other side of the room to Even. He moved his laptop out of the way then moved to straddle him where he sat on the couch, “I don’t think it’s fair if we choose. We should let chance decide. We can like, mix our sperm and then whichever, you know, fertilizes the egg or whatever, wins.” 

“But then if we don’t get an Isak baby—”

“You’re not going to love the baby any less, don’t even,” Isak stopped him, putting a finger on his lips rolling his eyes at him. “And your genes are perfectly fine, Even, I’d gladly take the chance that our child gets them. So, please, can we just take the chance. Chances are, there will be something about the baby and we’ll know whose genes it has so then, if we ever try again, the other one of us can go for it.” 

“That’s if we could afford to do it more than once,” Even pouted, moving his hands to graze through Isak’s hair. It was true, it’d probably take a lot for the two of them to get through it the first time. Isak didn’t even really want to think about a second time, but he knew that he wanted it this way. So, if that meant promising seconds, then fine. “I don’t never want to have my baby Isak.”

“Even, please, I want to give us both the chance,” Isak said quietly, moving to press his forehead to his husbands and looking him in the eyes. “I promise that if you don’t get your baby Isak this time, then we’ll make sure there’s a next time. Some way. We’ll always figure it out. Besides, no matter whose genes the baby has, we’ll both love them all the same.” 

“Fine, okay,” Even groaned and fell back out of Isak’s touch. 

“Even,” Isak sighed, reaching his hand back out and caressing Even’s cheek gently. “Can we not go through this stuff about your genes again? I understand, you struggled a lot and sometimes you still do with being bipolar. I get that you don’t want to pass it on, but chances are slim and you live a wonderful life despite it. Our kid would be just as strong, and they’d have a kickass Dad who totally slays his mental illness to look up to.” 

“I really do love my life, baby,” Even said, his lips quirking up in a small smile, “I love you, so much.” 

“I love you too, Ev,” Isak said, leaning down and kissing him gently. They kissed for a few moments, their tongues sliding familiarly against one another. He sighed happily and rolled his head back to press his forehead back to Even’s. “So, let’s mix our sperm then. Which, maybe there’s a more scientific term for that. But, let’s take our chances.” 

“Okay, fine, I guess I’m in,” Even said quietly, his hands sliding up the back of Isak’s shirt as he breathed, breath steadily hitting Isak’s lips and telling him that Isak was done with research for the night because there was definitely something better on the agenda. He crashed his lips back up against Even’s and they started eagerly tugging off each other’s clothes. 

 

_Wednesday Mar.20_

“Eskild already told you, didn’t he?” Isak asked Eva and Noora. It was pretty obvious. From the moment Isak picked up the phone it was all them telling him that they should talk about _him_ , that they wanted to hear about what was going on in _his_ life before they dove into their own lives. All with eager little smiles, waiting for Isak to drop the news. 

“I am appalled you think so!” Eskild said in the background before coming on screen with Noora and Eva. He squished in the couch beside Eva, sandwiching her between the two of them and making her look a little smaller. With the treatment, it was visibly noticeable that she had lost weight, making her look thin and weak in a way that Isak could barely comprehend because Eva was _far from weak_. He supposed looks could be deceiving, and her smile made him feel a little better about all of it. 

“He was panicking because more and more of our friends are having babies and we’re getting old and he was having like a quarter life crisis,” Noora said with a shrugm throwing Eskild under the bus and making his mouth drop open in shock. “So he spilled the beans. But still, Isak, it’s incredible, we’re so happy for you two.” 

“It’s almost weird though,” Eva said after a moment, looking up off into space for a moment then back at Isak. “Like, you and Even are _Even and Isak_. Now you’re going to be Even and Isak and Baby. Or whatever. I mean, are you ready to add someone to your little bubble?”

“Oh, God yes,” Isak nodded, not even having to think about it because, well, he already thought about it. He thought about it other times when he and Even approached the subject, and then again after Eskild brought up the topic of their sex life. The truth was that Even and Isak’s sex life was absolutely amazing, maybe too amazing. If they found themselves overwhelmed with love for one another, it turned physical. They literally had _so much_ love for each other it was almost exhausting. “We have a lot of love to go around. It may put a dent in our sex life but I don’t think it’ll feel like a loss. The love will be spread to the other portions of our life. Though I’m sure we’ll still find time for sex.” 

“If anyone could, it’s you guys,” Noora said with an eye roll. 

“I’ll second that.” 

“True.” 

“Jesus, have all of you caught us having sex in weird places?” Isak asked with a little groan, rubbing his face. 

“Well, Eskild’s the only one who’s _seen_ the actual act,” Eva said with a laugh and a shrug, “Which is a shame because I’m sure it’s damn hot and the kind of thing I totally need to witness before I die.” 

“Uh, excuse me. For one, you’re not dying,” Noora said, giving Eva a stern look and running her hand over the _Fuck Cancer_ beanie Isak had sent her a month or so prior. “And, two? You want to watch Even and Isak have sex? Is that really what you just said?” 

“Oh fuck no,” Eva said, suddenly bursting out into laughter, the three on the that side laughing while Isak sat uneasy on the other side. Not because it was his sex life that they were discussing, but because Eva was using phrases like _’before I die’_ as if it were in the immediate future. It was enough about his life and Even’s life and their future. He needed to know what was going on in Eva’s life. 

“So, uh, enough about me,” Isak said once the laughter died down, running a hand through his hair and looking at the screen as serious as he could manage to let them know that he wanted to know everything. “How are things with you guys? With the treatment?” 

“Hey, things are totally great,” Eva said immediately, smiling and tilting her head in her usual knowing way. “You better be excited about what’s going on over there, regardless of what’s going on over here. Things are good, though, I promise. We’re being positive and the chemo is working and sometimes during treatment, it sucks, but the world is going on. And your life is going in an amazing direction. Be excited.” 

“I’m excited, I swear,” Isak said with a sigh, taking in how Eva looked again. Shrunken and weak, but happy, wise, and Isak knew there was strength within, she was strong. “I just miss you guys. And I hate that you’re going through this. And I kind of wish you could do this with us.”

“Oh, maybe we should plan to visit you guys while you’re out there,” Noora said, pursing her lips and thinking it over for a moment. “Yeah, I mean, you’ll be out there long enough that Eva probably wouldn’t be doing treatment anymore. We’d need doctor approvals and stuff. But, I think we might be able to make it work.” 

“Oh my god, yes, that could be so fun,” Eskild said excitedly. “Oh my god, I hear the gays on that side of the world are _wild_. Ugh, I’m so in.” 

“That sounds great, but don’t tell Jonas and Sonja because we already told them that they couldn’t come with us,” Isak told them. “Mostly because they’re so rooted here but also because it’s hard to keep up with them and it’ll be even harder with everything going on. Did I tell you that I’m thinking of switching to the PhD program which means I have to change subjects on my dissertation and write a research report and there’s a couple extra classes too and this is just going to be a lot.”

“Are you sure you can do all of that?” Eskild asked. 

“It’s either that or put it off a year or don’t do it,” Isak said with a little shrug. It was a stressful thought, but Isak thought that with Even, he could do anything. Invincible. “In a year I’ll be busy with an actual baby, so I think I should just do it now.” 

“You’re not putting too much on your plate?” Eskild asked, his voice growing more concerned with this question. 

“I’m sure _Dad_ ,” Isak said with an eye roll. 

“Oh, I am not your Daddy,” Eskild said with a little wink, “Oh but it looks like you’re Daddy just got home,” he added as Isak heard the door to the apartment open and close. He turned around and Even was walking up behind him with a smile, so he stood up and greeted him with a kiss. 

“Hi Baby,” Isak said with a smile, “I was just talking to Eva, Noora, and Eskild about them visiting while we’re in the States. I think it’s a great idea.” 

“Absolutely,” Even said with a smile, kissing Isak once more, “Tell them I say hi but I do have to quick finish editing this weeks vlog so I can post it by midnight. So I’ll be in the room.” 

“Mmkay, love you,” Isak told him with a half smile. “Let me know when you’re done, or if you need me for something. I’ll probably be doing research.” 

“Okay, love you too,” Even said and kissed him one more time before backing off and walking down the hallway to the second bedroom that Even was currently using as the backdrop for his vlogs and his usual late-night video editing sessions. But, if they stayed here, it’d become a nursery. They hadn’t decided that yet. 

Isak watched him go then got back to his conversation. They talked and talked until there really wasn’t anything else to talk about, but still before Even was done so Isak got to his research project instead. He was even in bed before Even. Though he didn’t fall asleep until Even joined him.

 

 _Friday, Mar.22_  
*  
There was basically a list of people to tell and then a list of things to do after that. There life was sort of falling into a endless list of lists. Whether they were putting themselves on lists or making lists of things to do as they prepped for their future. 

The next on their list of people to tell were projected to be the easiest to tell: Yousef and Sana. They already had two kids, perfectly planned almost exactly a year apart, and Yousef was pushing for a third before the next year mark hit, so they were totally good on that part of it. And both of them always pushed their friends to do whatever they wanted. They were a power couple in their own sense of the word. Even was pretty sure he always knew that they would be perfect together. 

With their kids being so young, it tended to be the easiest to visit late at night when they were in bed if they wanted to have adult conversation, uninterrupted—for the most part. So, Even and Isak came over around 19:30 after the kids were supposed to be down. Unfortunately they were still in the process of falling asleep, so Sana made them all tea while Yousef continuously checked in on them. Even could always tell that they were so tired when they came over in the evenings, but they insisted they were fine and remained perfectly hospitable.

“Alright, Ivar is definitely down for at least the next four-ish hours, but Dila might still be a little while,” Yousef said as he walked back into the room, Dila in his arms. He sat down and started rocking her, “She’ll go to sleep faster if I just rock her.” 

“You can’t keep caving and doing that or she’s never going to sleep any other way,” Sana scolded, moving to sit beside him and reaching over to gently pat her daughters back while Yousef rocked her. “You should probably just leave her in her crib.” 

“Sana, this will be faster and I want to hang out with Even and Isak,” Yousef said, continuing to rock Dila, his voice soft as he spoke. “I promise it’ll just be for tonight. Besides, I love it.” 

“She’s going to be a total Daddy’s girl,” Sana said, shaking her head and then sitting forward and grabbing her tea, looking at Even and Isak. “I’m sorry, she’s been a little fussy with bed time lately and we’ve been trying all these different techniques, but I guess Yousef just has some magic touch. Which is fine until he’s on one of his overnight business trips.” 

“They’ll be stopping soon, I swear,” Yousef said—still gently—leaning over and kissing Sana on the cheek a couple times “Maybe even sooner if you just give in already. Having another new member of the family might be the perfect reason to get my boss to stop sending me on them.” 

“The two we have are already so much work,” Sana said, shaking her head, “So the answer is still no.” 

“Oh, come on, but the middle child is going extinct,” Yousef retorted, and then suddenly they were off on a tangent of the all the pros and cons of them having another kid. Even and Isak watched amusedly, nothing about it feeling tense because they’d heard the argument before every new kid. Sana always started on the opposing side, but there was always something that Yousef had to say to tip the scales. This time, though, Even wasn’t so sure, Sana might have been firm on her no. 

Bickering while Yousef rocked Dila unfortunately didn’t put her to sleep any sooner, so it wasn’t until about 20:40 that Even and Isak were finally delivering their news, it becoming easier and easier to tell each time they told someone new. Each time making Even more and more excited for their plan.

“Finally!” Yousef said excitedly, standing up and pumping his fist. Sana quickly shh’d him and pulled him back down on the couch, worried that maybe he’d wake the kids down the hall. “I was starting to worry that you guys weren’t going to have kids or like, you’d wait too long and our kids would be too old to be their friends. But, this is perfect, _especially_ when we have that third. Come on, Sana, that is the perfect reason.” 

“Let’s just give it a little longer than a year this time,” Sana sighed, putting her hand on her face and leaning into Yousef more. “Maybe I’ll change my mind. But let’s get back to Even and Isak, are you sure you know English well enough to live out there for a year plus?” 

“Our English is pretty good, I think,” Isak said and shrugged a little, looking at Even. They were probably going to have to do some studying and brushing up that summer—especially Isak with medical terms, but Even was pretty sure they would be able to manage. “But, I’ll probably have to brush up on the current slang.” 

“Mmm, no, you’re officially too old for slang, Isak,” Sana said, shaking her head firmly. “I hereby cut you off.” 

“Twenty-four is not too old to be using slang!” 

“Almost twenty-five _and_ close to having his Master’s _and_ planning on becoming a Dad,” Sana said, still in the same firm voice, her eyes dead-serious as she looked into his soul. “Too old for slang. If you start talking like a seventeen-year-old, that would just be weird. This is for your well-being, Isak.” 

“She’s got a point,” Even said, laughing a little. Isak was cute, thinking he could still pull off slang, thinking he could ever pull off slang, and Even loved busting on him with his friends. “You don’t need to be connecting with seventeen-year-old’s. That’s creepy.” 

“Okay, well you guys are the ones who made it creepy, bringing up seventeen-year-olds,” Isak said, rolling his eyes and pulling away from Even dramatically. “Fine, no slang. I hate you guys.” 

“We love you too, Isak,” Sana said with a smirk as Even pulled him back in and started pressing laughter-filled kissed to his cheek.  
*

_Saturday, Mar. 23_

Much like the rest of the human race, Saturdays were Even and Isak’s favorite day of the week. They both had nothing going on. No prior engagements which meant that they could spend the day _together_. They always played out differently, but they were always perfect days. That Saturday, Isak woke up to Even bringing him breakfast in bed. They ate breakfast together, had sex, moved to the shower, had sex, went grocery shopping, fooled around in the parking lot, brought their groceries home and ate lunch. 

“I told you, this is the reason waking up before noon is amazing,” Even said as he cleaned off their lunch plates, cleaning their dished while Isak dried. “It’s barely one, we still have the rest of the day ahead of us _and_ we’ve gotten off what, three times?” 

“Not to mention, groceries are already done so the only chore we have left is the laundry,” Isak said with a smile, bumping Even’s hip with his own. Since he started his Master’s program, it was easier for him to get into the habit of waking up earlier. But, there were still some Saturdays where Even was prying him out of bed. “It’s easier when you bring me breakfast in bed.” 

“Ah, yes, the only thing that gets you up faster than breakfast is sex,” Even smirked and bumped him back before turning off the water and taking the towel from Isak to dry his hands. Once they were dry, he tossed the towel and grabbed Isak’s hips, pressing him back against the countertop. “So, baby, how are we spending the rest of the day?”

“Sonja and Jonas are probably want to hang out, if you want to do that” Isak said, moving himself up on the counter and wrapping his legs around Even’s hips. He combed his fingers through Even’s hair and smiled as they looked into each other’s eyes. “Or maybe I should look for more grants to apply to? How _should_ we spend the day?” 

“Today we’re not worrying about anything else,” Even said, leaning his head forward and nuzzling their noses together, “We just started this whole process and we’ve been working our asses off, we deserve a day of fun. We’ll get back to all of that tomorrow. Or Monday.” 

“Good, because you just made me lunch and now I am both satisfied and ravenous,” Isak said, suddenly gripping onto the hair Isak had between his fingers, pulling Even’s face closer to his and wrapping his legs tighter around his torso. “And if I don’t get round four soon, I’ll be cranky.”

“Consider it done, I live to please,” Even said, light and dreamy smile on his face before he lurched forward to close the little space left between them. Their lips met and started moving together instantly; the kiss, the hunger, the passion, it was all second nature to them by now. They knew what worked and what didn’t. They knew what the other liked better than they knew what they liked for themselves. 

While Isak’s right hand tangled in and tugged at Even’s pretty hair, he left his left hand slide down Even’s side and around his lower back, feathering his fingers over his back dimples where he knew Even had a sensitive spot. As Isak’s fingers found the familiar landscape, Even moaned into his mouth at the touch, his own hands suddenly sliding underneath Isak’s ass and picking him up off the counter. 

The next thing Isak new, their lips were separated and Isak was staring into Even’s lust-filled blues, breathing heavily as his husband carried him with ease the short distance to the table, where he laid Isak back and wiggled his eyebrows before pulling back and taking off his own shirt. 

“The table, Ev? We eat here.” Isak said incredulously, acting as if it was a terrible idea. He sat up, looking at the confused man in front of him before smirking and wrapping his arms around his neck, pulling him back down, “You dirty boy.” 

Even laughed and then they were back at it. Lips devouring the others, hands gliding and pressing, tearing each other’s clothes off as quickly as possible. Isak loved how is was still so exciting to undress Even. He was always so eager to get to the perfect skin underneath, to see Even in all his beautiful, nude glory. To touch it, feel the smoothness under his tingling fingertips. 

And Isak could tell that Even was just as excited. His eyes would grow hungry and then his lips, teeth and tongue would be dancing down his torso, as if Isak was just sweet enough to be eaten whole. 

God, he fucking loved it.

This time, Even took this time exploring and tasting, licking around Isak's hip bones and then lifting his head up to smirk when Isak squealed in response. Sometimes he wouldn't let Even take so much time getting to the good stuff, but Isak decided with everything on the verge of changing, he needed to relish in every moment that could and probably would never be the same. 

Even breathed wet and warm on Isak's dick, staring up at him through his eyelashes while his hand found Isak's base, giving it a light squeeze. 

“Fy faen, baby,” Isak groaned, spreading his legs wider for him. 

“Something's on your mind,” Even suddenly said as he met Isak's eyes, face going serious before he sat back up straight. 

“You mean sex?” 

“Nei,” Even said, rolling his eyes and pressing his palms down on the inside of Isak's legs, still spread and waiting. “Well, I mean, your body and your mouth say sex. But your eyes say something else. What is it?” 

“Evvv, I don't want to stop,” Isak groaned, cursing how well Even knew him. Yeah, maybe his brain went to things changing for like, half a second there but he didn't want to stop and talk about it. “You got me going, I want to keep going. Don't do this to me.” 

“You went to school to learn to talk about things,” Even said, eyebrows shooting up as he tapped his fingertips on Isak's skin, the tiny touches gently driving Isak mad as the moments ticked on. “We talk.” 

“Baby, I swear to God, if we don't start making moves, we won't be talking about _anything_ for—” Even cut him off by dipping back down to take Isak in his mouth. Isak moaned out, eyes rolling to the back of his head in bliss. Glad to finally have something to ease the tension in his lower region. He reached down and quickly gripped on to his hair as Even’s head started bobbing. 

Isak knew that they should talk. If he'd learned anything at all from therapy in the first place, it was that communication was key. If he'd learned anything in school, it was that then some. So, they'd talk about it, they would. But he would not deal with it while his entire body was on fire with need for his man. 

“Later… We’ll talk later,” he managed to choke out in reassurance, every bit of him just glad that Even let that one go. Normally, he wouldn't, even with Isak's empty threats to not speak to him. But, maybe he knew Isak would eventually talk about it. He felt Even's slight nod as his mouth worked it's magic and started to make Isak forget everything else. 

It was always easy to find their motion, too. To get back into it after being interrupted or interrupting themselves was never a problem for the two of them. They could, would,and did always find a way. So, though Isak tended to lose track of time when they were having sex, it couldn’t have been _that long_ before Isak’s legs were being pressed to his chest and Even was standing and holding Isak at the edge of the table. He was thrusting into Isak faster and faster with every movement, the two of them building up together, focusing on each other and the other’s release. 

He was sweating, making his back glide across the table’s glossy surface, but all he cared about was the sweat that was melding with Even’s, their skin that was gliding together, Even’s dick hitting his sweet spot over and over and over. So he reached down, gripped on the edge of the table to keep himself in place while Even drove the last few thrusts home. 

Isak felt himself moan out as he came. His cum spilled out between the two of them, coating their abdominals as Even took a few final thrusts into him, coming inside Isak only shortly after. He suddenly realized the stretch in the back of his legs, making him want to relax them immediately. Even probably knew, because he helped him move them back to dangling over the edge of the table as Isak sat up, wrapping his arms around Even’s neck. 

“Thank you,” Isak said quietly, pecking him on the lips and nuzzling his nose against Even’s. “I was just think about how things won’t be like this...probably ever again. I mean, obviously I know we’ll make it work, and that everything’s going to be great. But, I’ll miss this. And I’m trying to make sure I remember all of it.” 

“Thank you for actually telling me, thank you for thanking me for sex, and thank you for making me continue the sex, it was incredible,” Even said with a little laugh, moving to run a hand through Isak’s hair, taking a deep through his nose and nuzzling it back against Isak’s. “But these aren’t thoughts coming from doubt or something, are they?”

“Nei.” 

“Then I’ll do _anything_ I can to make all of this as memorable as possible for you,” Even told him, nipping at Isak’s bottom lip and tugging on it. He took his hand out of Isak’s hair and gripped his jaw, practically bruising his lips with a kiss. 

 

 _Monday, Mar. 25_  
*  
Jonas and Isak were playing videogames on the couch when Even came home late from work. He’d notified Isak earlier on in the day that he would be late, so it was exactly what he had expected to walk in on. He was only surprised—and gladly—that they had ordered pizza and saved a couple slices for Even. So, he grabbed a slice and squeezed on the couch next to Isak, kissing his cheek before digging into the slice. 

“Welcome home,” Jonas said, “want to play?”

“Nei, I have to record the vlog,” Even told him with a shrug, wrapping his arm around Isak while he played. He was just going to eat slice or two of pizza before he went off into the spare bedroom that had sort of become his studio. He was so glad that Isak supported him in what he wanted to do and set up the room for him. 

“Shit,” Isak said, pausing the game and looking at him. “Do you need me?” 

“Nei,” Even told him, giving his shoulder a little squeeze, “play your game. But, I am going to need you to guest star next week so we can announce our plans.” 

“Oh shit, you’re announcing it on the vlog, this _is_ real,” Jonas said, shaking his head and setting his controller down. He took advantage of the pause to grab a sip of his beer. “You’ve got what, 4K subscribers or whatever? You should ask them to donate, like, literally if they each donated like, 50 kroner, you would have like, two hundred thousand kroner.” 

“We’ve actually talked about that a little,” Isak said, sighing and shrugging. “We’re still not sure of the ethics of it. Like, if he can get them to donate to a cause, shouldn’t he be doing something less selfish? I don’t know.” 

“Go figure Isak is the one who’s all worried about the ethics,” Even said with a laugh, shaking his head. Isak really was the one. Worried they were selfish with doing surrogacy. Worried they were selfish asking for money when they knew that they’d find a way no matter what. And, sure, Even knew that he was being a little selfish, and that he was working to make him and his own little family happy. But he didn’t care. 

He’d be selfish this time around but he’d do better in the future. 

“Then donate like half to a charity or some shit, you’ll probably get more if you advertise that,” Jonas said, always seeming to have the answer to everything. Annoyingly so. Even could have thought of that. And, he probably would’ve come to that conclusion, too. But, of course Jonas had to be the one to say it. “Seriously. Do it. It’s a fan-fucking-tastic idea.” 

“Yeah, maybe,” Even sighed and stood up, finishing his piece of pizza. “Well, I’ll go do that, you guys enjoy your game.” 

“Tell me if you need anything,” Isak offered half-heartedly as Even grabbed another slice and walked away while the boys went back to their game. He walked the short distance down the hall and into the room where he kept everything. He already planned out everything, he just needed to record, edit, post and pray more people would watch than last week and that more people would be watching next week than this week. 

When he started the vlog, it was because he was bored. He wasn’t finding much work and he just needed to work with footage. So, Isak suggested the vlog and set up the spare room for him as his editing studio. He convinced Even that he had good stories, and a great stage presence in which to tell them and Even was kind of just fueled with the idea. It took awhile to get anywhere. He sat at little to no followers for weeks, almost a month, then he started getting views. He wouldn’t ever get far enough to become famous, as it had been a few years and his subscribers number was creeping forward so damn slow. He advertised that he was at 4K to his friends, but he was still a couple hundred under, and not all of them watched every new video.

The people who did follow them were so nice to him and loved to try to promote him and it was sweet. Even also just enjoyed the little camera work and the editing effects that he learned through all the experimenting. So, even though he didn’t have as many followers as he wanted, at least he was happy with what he had. It was just a good thing for him to break him from the hell that was his job.

This week, he planned on announcing that Isak would be with him for the next video, which would hopefully get him more viewers on the next and hopefully get him more future subscribers. When he flaunted their relationship, he did tend to get more people into it, the entire internet being in love with love. That and Isak was hot. That would always be helpful, too. So, he’d announce that, get them hyped, and tell a the story he had planned about a part of a trip he and Isak took to Italy years prior. 

He always tried to make sure his stories had some sort of meaning, taught a type of lesson, but sometimes they were just funny stories about Isak being clumsy or Even being an idiot and almost getting them killed for one reason or another. 

If he wanted more viewers, he’d probably have to dig deeper into his content, but he was never sure how serious he wanted to get or how much effort he should put in. He didn’t want it to take up too much of his time. He still had to have a job and he still needed to spend time with Isak. So, he thought maybe he was content with where the vlog was at maybe. Maybe he didn’t need to dig deeper. He thought again, _why reach when he had everything he ever wanted?_  
*

_Tuesday, Mar. 26_

Even’s work wasn’t too far away from Isak’s residency, so sometimes they were able to meet up for lunch at a nearby diner. That day, Isak’s coworker and classmate, Mats, was joining them. They spent a lot of the day talking about the surrogacy, because Isak had finally broke it to him. He wasn’t going to be spending the last year of their program in Norway, and Mats was on his own. There were a few others who had lasted in the program through all the years, but Mats and Isak had always tended to be drawn to one another, the two of them growing close over the years. 

And, Mats liked to question everything. Every last detail. So, they were still talking about it. But now they were on the subject of genetics. The one Isak would almost rather not talk about, always worried about where it would put Even’s mind.

“I’m just saying,” Mats was going on, eating one of his fries then putting his hands in the air as if in surrender, “You could probably manage to make a really gorgeous baby if you play the genetics game right. Like, if it’s your genes, Isak, then you probably wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not the baby will have a nice ass. But, if it’s your genes, Even, no offense, you might want to find a donor with an ass. Because you’re kind of flat.” 

“I’m not sure how to feel about you knowing our asses so intimately,” Even said with an eyebrow raise, and a subconscious, yet protective squeeze on Isak’s thigh. “Or that that’s the first feature you go to when thinking about our future child.” 

“Sorry, that girl over there has a phenomenal ass and I just thought about it,” Mats said with a shrug, motioning to a waitress across the way with a nod of his head. “And I’ve known you two for six, almost seven years now, I’m bound to have noticed your asses. And it’s not the only thing. Like, you should go with someone with blue eyes because passing on Even’s eyes would be the better option. Or Even’s jaw for a boy, Isak’s for a girl.” 

“You are way too into this, Mats,” Isak said, laughing and shaking his head. “We’re not going about this to play god and make some sort of perfect being. All we’re really looking for in a donor is someone with a good, healthy family history. And maybe like, someone successful and smart, like a doctor or something.” 

“Oh, please, same difference,” Mats said, rolling his eyes and then grabbing a napkin to wipe off his mouth. “There’s probably tons of healthy women to choose from, anyway. You’re both very pretty boys, imagine what you could make. I’m not saying play god, persay, like obviously you can’t choose if it’s a boy or girl, and I mean, there are still chances to grab the bad genetics on either end, anyway. But, if you play the game, you’ll have better chances.” 

“He is kind of right, we are kind of playing God anyway, we might as well play a little harder,” Even said with a shrug, kissing the side of Isak’s head. “And don’t tell me no because you’re worried about being selfish.” 

“Let me know if you want a little help, I love this kind of stuff,” Mats said, standing up and pulling out his wallet. He put some money on the table and looked at the two of them. “I have to meet up with Dr. Haugen before we have to get back, so I have to go, but I’ll see you in a bit. And, it was nice seeing you again, Even.” 

“Always a pleasure,” Even said with a smile and a nod before Mats walked off out of the diner. It went silent for a few moments and then Even pulled away from Isak just a little. “So, he thinks you have a nice ass, and you’re pretty. How does that make you feel?” 

“It doesn’t, Even,” Isak said with a sigh, turning to look at him. He took his jaw and looked him in the eyes, “You know, that was a long time ago. I love you. I married you since then. I haven’t thought about him like that in years.” 

Around the second year of his program, Isak got to know Mats a little better. And Mats, well, he wasn’t a bad-looking guy. He was very opposite Even in looks. Shorter than Isak by an inch or two, dark hair, large brown doe eyes, and some freckles across his cheeks. He wore dark-rimmed glasses and Isak had a hard time not noticing how perfectly they fit his face. He really started sweating when he realized that he was noticing his body too. 

He knew he loved Even, but he found himself crushing on Mats. Sometimes it happened when Even or Isak happened to notice someone else’s looks, and they’d talk about it, but this time, what Isak felt was a genuine crush and it scared him. So, he pushed it down, didn’t tell anyone about it, not even his therapist. But, then, one night he had a dream. A very hot, very sweaty, almost ethereal dream. And, when he woke up, Even was sitting up in bed, the light on, looking at him with shock and fear in his eyes. 

“I woke up because you were moaning,” Even said quietly, running a hand through his own hair and looking up at the ceiling for a moment. “I was going to wake you up and help you out, but then you said Mats,” he looked back at Isak with a sniffle, tears brimming his eyes, “And I’m not Mats.” 

“Oh my God, Even,” Isak said, sitting up, feeling sticky under his boxers and cursing himself over and over again in his head. “I am so sorry. I-I...I don’t know what happened.” 

“I’m not enough anymore,” Even said, wiping his eyes and getting up off the bed, he paced back and forth then looked back over at Isak. “I’m the only one you’ve ever been with. I knew this was going to happen. You want more. You need to explore more. You-You’re..you… you’re going to leave me. For Mats. That’s why you’ve been acting weird.” 

“No, no, no, no, Even, I’m not leaving you,” Isak sprung up and walked over to him, grabbing onto his arms and looking up at his boyfriend. “Not for Mats, not for anyone. I-I, just… I guess I have a crush. But, I love you. I only want to be with you. The crush will pass. I know it. Please, Even, I’m sorry. I’ve been weird because it scares me, because I love you. But, it’ll pass, I know it, please.” 

“What if it doesn’t pass, Isak, huh? How long have you even been keeping this from me?” Even asked, talking a step back out of Isak’s grasp as if he were disgusted by it. “You’ve known this guy for more than a year, Isak. How long has it been?”

“Not long, I just noticed it like...two, maybe three weeks ago,” Isak said, feeling his own eyes brimming with tears. He didn’t want to like anyone else. He didn’t want to hurt Even. He wanted to be with Even. He needed to make him believe it. “Baby, please, I’m sorry I kept it from you, but I swear I only did it because it’s you I want to be with, I didn’t think it’d be a problem. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please.” 

“You can’t help who you like, Isak,” Even said, his voice suddenly filled with defeat. “It’s obvious that I’m not enough anymore. Admit it.”

“You’re enough, you’re more than enough, baby please, I’ll never talk to Mats again, just come back to bed, we’ll talk and I’ll prove to you that you’re the only one for me, please,” Isak said, grabbing at his hands and trying to pull him back over to the bed, but he stood stubbornly still. “Even…” 

“I’m going to sleep on the couch,” Even said, stepping back again then walking around Isak to grab his pillow off the bed. “I can’t sleep next to you when you have cum from a sex dream about Mats dripping down your leg.” 

It took a while and a few group therapy sessions to understand and move passed it, but they did and Isak truly hadn’t felt anything for Mats in years. It was a passing crush, and though it scared him at the time, he’d known that all along. Notwithstanding that they were able to get over it and both of them had been able to develop a good relationship with the extremely heterosexual Mats who never even knew about the crush, Isak still found Even being jealous from time to time. 

“So him noticing your features like that doesn’t stir up any old emotions?” Even asked, gentle and a little worry in his voice. Of course, Even knew that Isak was never leaving him for Mats. Not only because he was straight, but because they were perfect for each other. Isak would reassure him anyway. 

“Not even a little,” Isak said, pecking Even on the lips and running a hand through his hair. “I only care what you think of my ass.” 

“He wasn’t wrong, I’m totally flat but you have the _perfect_ ass,” Even said, nuzzling his nose and then pecking him on the lips too. “Another reason why we should just go with your sperm.” 

“Nei, I love your ass,” Isak said, running his hand down Even’s side and squeezing the side of his ass. Sure, he was a little bony, but it fit his body in a perfect way. Isak didn’t think anyone else could be so perfect. “And you are honestly _so_ much better looking than he is, for the record, baby. And I’m still firm on mixing our sperm. You won’t get me to change my mind.” 

“I still have time, baby, you’ll see,” Even challenged and kissed him again. “And obivously I’m better looking than that tool.

 

_Thursday, Mar. 28_

“Well, I certainly don’t trust that boy to be responsible, Ana,” Josefine was saying at dinner that Thursday. Isak may have kind of spilled the beans that Ana was dating a boy. The drummer. Everyone had met him, had known exactly who he was because he Ana jammed with his band every now and then and they were all supportive. But they were all very worried about this moment. He really wasn’t the most responsible or trustworthy individual. “Maybe you should go on birth control.” 

“Whoa no, no, no,” Martin said, almost choking on his food. “You two are not doing _that_. You don’t need birth control.” 

“I second that,” Even said, shaking his head and looking at Ana. “He’s no good, anyway.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Ana said, rolling her eyes and setting her fork down to cross her arms. “First of all, my sex life should not be a dinner table conversation. Second of all, Even and Isak were having sex at my age so if you think that I can’t have sex then that is a double standard and I’m not going to stand for it.” 

“You know what, you’re right, this isn’t a dinner table conversation,” Martin said, shaking his head, his face growing red in embarrassment. Or maybe anger. Isak couldn’t tell. Probably both because he was upset his baby was growing up. But, Ana was right, anyway, everyone was just going to have to get used to the fact that she was an adult now. “You and your mother can discuss this later, okay?” 

“Fine, but I’m telling you, it’s no big deal,” Ana said sighing and uncrossing her arms. “Even and Isak were screwing like bunnies under this very roof at my age. And, I’m not even trying to be like that.” 

“You were young, you had no idea what was going on,” Josefine said, waving her hand and getting back to her meal. “You’ve made that up in your mind, sweetie.”

“Oh please, how do you think I got Even to teach me guitar?” Ana asked with an eyeroll, sipping her cup and looking at her parents as if it were so obvious. “I walked in on them once and to get me to not tell you guys, I got Even to teach me guitar.” 

“For God’s sake, boys,” Martin groaned and looked at them. 

“Come on, Ana, we weren’t even having sex that time,” Even said, “We were just making out. Sans shirts. It was only a secret because we hadn’t figured out how to tell you guys yet. You were calling us brothers, so it was a weird situation. And it has nothing to do with this.” 

“Besides, Ana would probably be wanting to have sex with or without that experience, she’s a teen,” Isak said, always being the one to just state the facts. And, though he didn’t really want to think about innocent little Ana having sex, he did know that teenagers by nature were extremely horny. “Just make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons, is what I say. I loved and still love Even, so…” 

“Fine, whatever, I’m not having sex, let’s move the hell on,” Ana groaned and then looked at her food. “Actually, I’m done, I’m going to my room.” 

“Ana…” Josefine coo’d watching her leave then looking around the table at the rest of the boys. “You boys don’t know what it’s like to be a teenage girl. She likes this boy and we’re all going to have to get over that. I just can’t believe you boys let a nine-year-old blackmail you. You should have known that her seeing you guys like that was going to have some sort of effect on her.” 

“Oh stop, she’s fine,” Isak said, squeezing Even’s leg before he could snap back at her. “No offense Josefine, Martin, but Even and I were teenagers more recently than you, and this is totally normal. I mean, our friends…” 

“Please don’t compare her to our friends, Isak,” Even groaned a little putting a hand over his face. 

“I’m just saying that it’s normal,” Isak shrugged, wiping his mouth with a napkin and sitting back a little. “You just have to accept it or it’s going to get a lot worse than normal.” 

“Fine, accepted, subject change, please,” Even said, looking at Isak then around the table at his parents, pleading for anything. 

“I’m sorry you boys didn’t feel like you could tell us when you started dating,” Josefine said with a little sigh leaning across the table and taking Even’s hand to give it a little squeeze. “If I had known, I would have never called you guys brothers, you know. You really are very good for each other. Even if I was worried back then.” 

Josefine seemed to have gotten better, less protective and less strict when Even started his medication. It was like suddenly he did what she wanted, so everything was right (or right-ish) in the world and she wasn’t challenging every move that they made. Which was nice, but annoying because Even’s feelings and actions had always been justified, even before the medication. But, they’d take a win where they could, so they let it go. It was easiest to do, seeing as if they didn’t accept her random bouts of kindness or accept her apologies, things got a lot worse. 

“It’s fine, really,” Isak said, looking at her then at Even, “Right Baby?” 

“Of course, Mom,” Even said, smiling and squeezing her hand. “But, uh, should someone go talk to Ana?” 

“I will,” Isak said, kissing his head and standing up. “She’ll be fine.” 

 

_Friday, Mar. 29_

Even had to work late again, so Isak got Jonas and Mats together to go pick him up after. They’d pick him up, take a pit stop home and go out to the bar where Sonja may or may not be meeting them. The other people who were on their list of ‘maybe they’d show’ were Magnus, Mutta, and Chris, but Sonja was the one most likely of the four to show. They always invited all of their friends who were still in the area out when they’d go, but it was hardly ever a crowd anymore. 

“Why did we have to stop and get him flowers again?” Mats asked, looking in the rearview mirror at Isak who was holding the bouquet of yellow roses and lilies in his hand. Jonas had called shotgun, so he was stuck in the back, so just for the hell of it, he had made them stop so he could get Even flowers. 

“Because I knew shopping for flowers would be hell for you guys,” Isak said with a shrug, “Besides, Even’s had a long day and his coworkers are all assholes and he deserves a little something. And we’re big fans of yellow roses.” 

“Gaaay,” Jonas said. 

“As always,” Isak shot back, looking up from the flowers at him. 

“Don’t they just like, make you _believe_ in love?” Mats asked, and it was supposed to be sarcastic, but Isak knew him well enough that there was a little bit of truth in the statement. Mats wanted so badly to be in a committed relationship, but he sucked at it. He was good looking, it shouldn’t have been so hard. But, when he talked to girls, he could never say the right thing. So, Isak didn’t say anything to give him away, just laughed along with Jonas at the sarcasm. 

When they pulled up to Even’s office, Isak bounced out of the car and told the boys that he would meet them back at their place with Even. Even drove to work, so since Isak was supplying the beer for before they headed to the bar, the boys agreed to bring Isak to meet Even after work. He and Even would drive home and then after a few beers, they’d uber to the bar. 

So he walked up to Even’s office and walked inside. Even was standing almost immediately inside the doors, talking to one of his coworkers. Isak thought he looked familiar, and they’d probably met before but those guys Even worked with kind of all just melded together in Isak’s mind. Even didn’t really like any of them, anyway so Isak figured he didn’t really need to make an effort to know them, anyway. 

Isak thought they were probably talking business, so he stopped and stood to the side, but Even had spotted him as soon as he walked in and he was smiling almost immediately. And, his coworker could tell he was no longer paying attention because he turned around and looked at Isak. 

“Oh, Isak, right?” The guy asked as Isak closed the few feet it took to get to them. “Even’s husband. How cute, he’s bringing you flowers.” 

“Oh yeah, well, it...it’s this whole story, but,” Isak stumbled a little bit over his words, caught off guard by the condescension. So he shook his head and looked back at Even, “Anyway, ready to go?” 

“Yeah, Baby,” Even said, smiling and taking the flowers. He smelled them and then smiled back at Isak. “Thank you. They’re beautiful.” 

“That’s cute, but I seriously thought he was the girl in the relationship,” the Coworker who Isak still couldn’t put a name to said. “But if he’s bringing you flowers, then well..” 

“No one is the girl,” Isak said, spinning and looking at him. “We’re both guys, that’s the point.” 

“No offense, but _someone_ has to be the girl, man,” the Dick said, shrugging and backing up as if he was much too close to a gay man. “ _That’s_ kind of the point. It’s how the world works, princess.” 

“No—” 

“Isak, come on, it’s fine, let’s go,” Even said, grabbing onto Isak’s shoulder and gently pulling him into his chest. “See you Monday, Linus. I’ll have it done by then.” 

Even led Isak out of the building, Isak stunned by the confrontation. He knew Even’s coworkers sucked, but he didn’t know they were _that_ bad. He had no idea they were homophobic. He had no idea how Even was working in that environment every day. He was angry, shaking his head to himself as he let Even quietly lead him to the car. Once they were finally inside, Isak spoke. The words coming out before he even fully thought them. 

“I want you to quit.” 

“I will be when we go to the states, but right now, we need to pay the bills,” Even said, shaking his head and buckling up before he started driving. He kept a hand on the wheel but reached over and rested another on Isak’s thigh. “And that means no fighting with my coworkers. Even when they’re assholes.” 

“Even, you’ve already been in that environment long enough,” Isak said, looking at him sternly, almost more serious about it than he could comprehend. “That’s toxic. I mean, I knew they were assholes, but if they’re homophobic then they’re literally against your way of life. That’s toxic and really bad for you and your mental health, Baby. You need to quit, now.” 

“Isak, we _need_ the money, I don’t have a choice,” Even said, looking at him out the corner of his eye for a moment. “I’m fine, I’ve been fine. It’s okay, okay?” 

“We can figure it out, I bet KB would let you come back for the time being, and we could make it work,” Isak told him, swallowing hard. He didn’t want to pull the psychology school card on him, but he knew that Even staying there, even for a second longer was toxic. “You can’t be surrounded by homophobic assholes all day long. You can’t.” 

“They aren’t all like that, Isak, okay? That was just one guy, so drop it,” Even said seriously now, turning his head and looking at him as they came to a stoplight. “It’s not even that much longer. I’ve gone this long, what’s a couple more months?” 

“How many of them are homophobic?” Isak asked. 

“I don’t know, I didn’t even know he was,” Even shrugged and looked at him, “see, it’s fine. They’re probably just like that behind my back or something. I promise there has been no effect to be had on my mental health, okay?” 

“Fine,” Isak huffed. “The light is green.” 

“Sorry,” Even said and sighed,taking his foot off the brake and beginning to drive again. They weren’t so far from home, but if they didn’t hurry, the boys were going to drink all the beer before they got there. “You’re not going to be cranky all night now, are you? Because we can leave you at home.” 

“Nei, I’ll be fine,” Isak said, leaning over and resting his head on Even’s arm that was outstretched so he could hold the steering wheel. “You promise it’s not like that all the time?” 

“It’s not Isak, I swear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally bailed on that sex scene there my bad. If you're reading for the smut, I swear there will be more than that.  
> So here was a little more input on some of the troubles they've had in the past and a little more insight on their current life and their friends lives too.  
> Also, if you were around while I was posting Tidal Waves, I probably won't be updating this AS frequently until the end of summer as summer is my busy season at work.  
> Alright, but thank you for reading and please leave kudos and comments <3


	3. I Wouldn't Care What It Cost Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long, on top of work being busy, I had family visit last week and it was very time consuming, but here is a new chapter and I'll try to be updating more frequently. This chapter is so-so, things should be picking up soon, though, I promise.  
> Thanks for reading <3

_Sunday, Mar. 31_

Though Isak was far from religious, some Sundays, he went to church with his Mom. Even joined when he wasn’t on call at work, but Sunday’s seemed to be made for that, so he wasn't with them that Sunday. It was stupid because Isak thought his coworkers could probably wait until Monday for Even’s input, but they’d rather make him run around for them, dropping off dailies and even making food and drink runs for them like some lowly intern. So, Isak told his Mom the big news on his own after sitting through a way too long and boring sermon without Even. 

It wasn't that terrible, but it all would have been a hundred times better with Even on his arm. But he still managed, somehow. 

Though she wasn’t all there, his Mom actually seemed to take it pretty well. Isak always ran big news by her caretakers first, grabbing ideas on how to tell her to make her get it and how to tell her without triggering something. And, he seemed to do pretty well this time around. Like his father, she wasn’t totally understanding of the two-father thing at first, but unlike his father after a little bit of explanation on the process, she was back on track and totally excited for them.

She was really very well for someone with her ailments. For the schizophrenia, episodes were pretty well managed, but then there was the unfortunate diagnosis a few years back that suddenly tied everything together. She had Alzheimer's disease. Early Onset. The worse it got, the worse the schizophrenia would get, but she was living happily anyway. She had her new caregiver, experienced in both illnesses and a dog who went everywhere with her. And, of course there was church and her group at the hospital. She really did make the best of what she had. 

And though she was ill, she was still his Mom, with different views and thoughts on every matter. For instance, how he should raise his kid. 

“You went to church school on Sundays and Wednesdays when you were younger and look at you,” Marianne said, motioning wildly with her hands at him. “You are a fine young man. You want them to grow up with values. With something to believe in.” 

“Mom,” Isak groaned a little. It probably wouldn’t be the best time to tell her that he really wasn’t religious. That he only went to church to please her. That all those classes when he was younger made him afraid of who he was. And though she was forgetful with the Alzheimer’s, Isak wouldn’t risk promising her that he’d do the same to his child. “Even and I are going to raise our child in our own way. Maybe we’ll find our own church...closer to home or something.” 

“Nonsense, this is the best church in all of Oslo,” She told him and while she wasn't totally wrong—they were more progressive than most, when both Even and Isak attended, there was never any confrontation about their sexuality—it still felt judgy at times. “Trust me, I’d know. Those others, they’ll brainwash you, they brainwash everyone, you can’t trust them. You guys should come to my church.” 

“Maybe sometimes,” Isak gave in with a sigh, resting his head in hand for a moment and looking down at his phone. A text from Even came in followed by a knock on the door. Finally, he was there. Isak needed the buffer. Even was less afraid of setting Marianne off, he knew how to say things to make her understand, or almost understand. He wasn’t sure if she listened to him better just because she hadn’t given birth to him, or if she just plain liked him better, but he was too good at it. “That’s Ev, I’ll get it.” 

Isak got up off the couch and walked down the hallway to the door, opening it and pulling Even in immediately for a kiss. When he pulled back, he smiled at him and looked him over. He looked super cute in his button up, loose tie, and jeans for his casual(ish) Sunday work attire. He also looked tired, though. They probably had him running all over Oslo. 

“Hey handsome,” Isak greeted and ran a hand through his perfectly slicked back hair. “Finally off your leash?” 

“Yes, and my work phone is off for the rest of the day,” Even said with a smile, stepping in past Isak and turning as Isak closed the door behind him. “So, did you tell her?” 

“I did, and she took it well, but now she’s trying to get me to say we’ll take our child to her church,” Isak told him, crossing his arms and leaning against the door, watching Even to see how he’d respond to it. He didn’t look so surprised. “You don’t think we should, do you?” 

“No, God, no,” Even laughed and shook his head, “But I definitely knew she was going to argue this, and I’ve totally thought about it because I am the most amazing and incredibly thoughtful husband in the world.” 

“You’ve thought about it and didn’t prep me?” Isak asked, astounded and fake-upset. “Thoughtful my ass.”

“It’s funny you talk about prepping then go straight to your ass,” Even said, smirking and stepping in, taking Isak’s hips and squeezing them. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d tell her before I got here. But I’m proud of you for doing it. I’ll handle the church thing” 

“It’s funny how dirty your mind is,” Isak told him, reaching up and wrapping his arms around his neck. They were probably lingering longer than they should but Isak couldn’t seem to help himself. Just a few more moments with Even alone and they’d go back, he swore. “But, you’re forgiven as long as I don’t have to promise my mom that we’ll bring our kid to church.” 

“Nei, you won’t have to,” Even said with a laugh, leaning down and kissing him on the lips, “Now come on—” 

Even started to pull him down the hallway when Isak’s phone started to ring. The ring he set so they would always know when his Father was calling. Because, generally speaking, Terje calling meant he needed Isak to drop everything for him.

“Terje,” Even said, looking down at Isak’s pocket where his phone was ringing, “Have you talked to him at all since we told him?” 

“No,” Isak sighed and pulled out his phone. He didn’t really want to talk to him but he probably should. “I’ll take this and join you in just a second. Okay?” 

“Yeah, I’ll deal with your Mom, you deal with the devil, seems fair,” Even said with a little laugh, kissing him on the cheek. “I can talk to him instead, if you want.” 

“Nei, go talk to her, she’ll be happy to see you,” Isak sighed and then answered his phone, putting it up to his ear and watching as Even backed away then walked into the doorway where Isa had left Marianne in the living room. “Halla?” 

“Oh good, you answered,” Terje said on the other line. “I wasn't sure after everything.” 

“Well, at least you know that I _should_ be mad and ignoring you,” Isak said, leaning against the wall behind him and looking up at the ceiling. “What do you want and can we make this quick? I'm at Mom's.” 

“How is your mother?” Terje asked pensively on the other line, well aware of the thin ice he was already on with Isak. “I haven't heard much about her lately.” 

“Because you don't ask, but since you did, she's fine, thanks,” Isak said, not trying to hide his attitude. He wasn't going to be all friendly and happy with his Dad and act like nothing happened. And, he certainly wasn’t going to go into depth about his Mom when Terje really didn’t care. “So why are you calling? Did you decide to not be a dick finally and accept how I choose to live?” 

“You know I accept you, son,” Terje said on the phone, sighing and pulling his defeated act. There was this thing he did when Isak called him out on being an asshole where basically, by the end of the conversation, he’d have Isak feeling like an asshole for being mad in the first place. “It just took me a few days to wrap my head around. I mean, a child, that’s big news, don’t you think? Can't you forgive a clueless old man? You know I'm trying.” 

“Fine,” Isak caved quickly, not feeling like getting into it over the phone. What he really wanted to say was that he wasn't trying hard enough, that he wasn't clueless, just homophobic and close-minded. But he wasn't going to fight. “Forgiven, now I have to get back to mom.”

“Perfect, I'll have Lisa schedule you guys a visit, keep an eye out,” Terje said with finality before hanging up and not giving time for Isak to decline. The line went dead and all he could do was groan. Fuck Terje. Isak was going to be a way better Dad than he ever was and he kind of couldn't wait to prove that.

 

_Monday, April 1_

“You don’t think you’re followers are going to be pissed?” Isak asked as Even adjusted the camera after he had finished fixing the backdrop. Isak was fidgeting where he sat and just watched, continuously tapping his foot. He actually kind of hated doing vlogs with Even. He didn’t mind helping him with ideas, or if he needed Isak to do literally anything else off camera, but he just felt so awkward being recorded _and_ scripted. Or somewhat scripted, in this case. He didn’t mind that he was _on_ camera, Even recorded him all the time but as soon as it was for these vlogs, the pressure seemed unreal. Especially this time, because Even was requiring a little bit of acting. “I mean, you’re not even posting it today. An April Fools joke _after_ April first is more like an average practical joke but of massive proportions.” 

“They’ll get the point, anyway, besides, they’d expect it more if I actually posted it on April Fools Day,” Even said, finishing fussing with the camera and looking up from it at Isak. “Besides, they can only get mad if they believe it, Isak. Are you going to be able to manage?” 

“I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again: I am a master liar, Even,” Isak told him, smiling as his husband walked over to him, taking the spot beside him and wrapping his arms around him The light on the camera was on so Isak knew it was recording, he just wished Even could keep his arm around him the whole time. 

“If that’s so true, then why do you always fail miserably when you try to lie?” Even asked with a little chuckle, kissing the side of his face and then ruffling his hair a little. 

“Only when I try to lie to _you_ ” Isak said, turning his head and kissing the corner of Even’s lips. “I’ll lie to the rest of the world, I don’t give a shit.” 

“Prove it,” Even challenged, planting a quick kiss on Isak’s lips before pulling back and moving away to drive the idea of his little prank home. He ran his hand through his hair and then nodded at Isak. “Ready?” 

“As I’ll ever be,” Isak said, taking a deep breath and then looking at the camera as Even started talking. 

“Hey guys,” Even said, looking at the camera, “So, as promised, I have Isak here with me for this little installment. But, he’s not here for the reasons you may be thinking. Actually. We have news, don’t we Isak?” 

“Yeah, big news, actually,” Isak said, trying to sound confident as he fidgeted with his wedding ring that was off his finger and in the palm of his hand in his lap, just in case he touched his face or his hands ended up in the shot some other way. He couldn’t be wearing it if he wanted them to believe the prank, but he also couldn’t stand not to feel the metal on his skin because it had become a part of him. Even had took his off, too, and slid it in his pocket, and even though Isak knew why, he still hated watching him do it. He kind of wished Even had actually talked him into the tattooed on wedding rings. 

“So, the two of us, as you know if you’re familiar with my vlog, have been together for a long time and it’s been absolutely amazing,” Even said, looking over at Isak out of the corner of his eye for the quickest moment, knowing that if the two of them looked at each other too long, their eyes would give them away. “But, we’ve been talking and things have been...different.” 

“It’s true, we haven’t really been on the same page and well, it’s a problem,” Isak said, almost eagerly, too quick. He coughed and looked back down, trying to get himself to seem sad. And, honestly, it wasn’t hard to feel sad while actually thinking about the idea of the prank actually being real. “So, we’ve agreed that it’s time we end things before it gets out of hand. We don’t want to start hating each other.” 

“Exactly,” Even said, and Isak hung his head a little, watching him out of the corner of his eyes. He had a distressed look on his face, running his hands through his hair in a way that any psych student would see as a distraction, something that would draw focus away from the truth. It wasn’t a bad move. He was actually kind of sure Even could be a movie star with how easily he played the part. How easily he played any part. “We were so young and we’ve always kind of just went with it. But now, I don’t know. It’s rough. So, Isak will be moving out in the next couple of days and we’ll be starting to do our own things. We thought we’d tell you because a good majority of you who comment are always wondering about Isak. So, here we are.” 

“Here we are,” Isak repeated, lifting his head and looking at the camera. His heart was pounding, hoping he was being somewhat believable, even though he was pretty sure that if he and Even actually broke up, he probably wouldn’t be able to talk or move or do anything besides hate life. “And, Even’s sure you’ll have questions and whatever but, uh, this is the last you’ll be seeing of me. So, here I am, signing off.” 

Isak squeezed the ring in his palm and then stood up, deciding in the moment to make a show of handing it to Even before walking off the camera. He did what Even asked of him, taking determined steps to the door and opening it and closing it so it made just enough noise that Even would probably edit over with fake sounds later, anyway. He leaned against the door and quietly turned around, looking over at Even who sat there for the moment, looking down at the floor in despair. Isak licked his lips and looked him over. He knew the take was far from being over, they’d run through the whole thing a few times together, then separately, and then eventually Even would say they had enough takes and footage and Isak could move on. 

“So, anyway, I thought maybe we’d talk a little bit about something else today,” Even said, looking at the camera. Isak quietly stepped over behind it, looking into the viewfinder for fun and then looking over at Even, waiting for the time for his next move. But, instead of following the plan, Even shook his head and stood up, walking over to Isak and holding his ring back out to him, “I’m sorry, I know this is a joke, but do not give me your wedding ring _ever_ again. It was great and we’ll probably use that take but, no.” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Isak said, slipping it back on his ring finger, where it belonged, smiling because he was happy that Even was having some of the same feelings about their rings as Isak was having. Just like the green and blue rocks that usually hung from chains around their necks, they had a little more meaning than the average piece of jewelry and they both knew it. 

“Good,” Even said, reaching into his pocket and putting his own back on before pulling Isak in for a kiss. Their hands were instantly all over each other, not even bothering to turn off the camera as they fell to the floor, abandoning the vlog to go for a round or two of sex. 

They did eventually get back to it, though, making the most of the prank and then giving the real news. But, because of the sex, they ended up recording into most of the night to make sure they had everything Even needed. He had a few ways he wanted to spin the “gotcha!!! We’re not breaking up, we’re having a baby!!!” prank, and Isak played along for him, hoping that he wasn’t messing up Even’s show. 

“So, I think I kind of had an idea,” Even told him as they finally made their way to bed that night. Isak was going to hate himself in the morning for the lack of sleep, but he would just remind himself that it was for Even. 

“Kind of? An idea about what?” Isak asked, stripping down into his boxers and climbing into his side of the bed, watching Even do the same until he was laying next to him, their heads on their own pillows, facing each other. 

“Well, what if we do ask for donations, but like, instead of half of it going to charity, we give half of it to Eva?” Even asked, pushing his hands up under the pillow to give his head a little bit of leverage as the two of them talked. “If she’d accept it. I mean, if she needs it. But, she’s probably got hospital bills and stuff, right? No one really talks about that stuff but, I’m sure it’s not great. I want to help.” 

“I think Eva would be too proud to let us do that,” Isak said, shaking his head a little and then moving to cuddle into Even’s chest, wrapping his arms around him and smiling to himself. He loved how much Even cared about the people he loved. He loved that he wanted to help Eva like that. “I can ask her, though. Before you make any sort of announcements. If not, maybe we can look into some good lgbt charities.” 

“Okay, yeah, but ask her first.” 

“I will,” Isak breathed, closing his eyes and slowing his breathing. “You know, I kind of had an idea too.”

“Oh yeah?” Even asked, his voice getting quieter, matching the tone of the room. Isak felt him move a little, one of his arms finding its way around Isak’s torso. His lips were in Isak’s hair, roaming around gently and tingling the top of his head. A soothing thing that Even did when they cuddled. 

“Let’s get tattoos,” Isak said, brushing his own lips against Even’s shoulder, making his words slur a little, “of our wedding rings.” 

“Fuck, seriously? Finally? Yes, fuck yes, let’s do it.” 

 

_Wednesday, April 3_

“C’mon baby, you have to get up, let’s go,” Even pleaded on the side of the bed. Sometimes, on Wednesdays, Isak would be asked to go into his residency much earlier than usual for some evaluations on how he was doing, what he was doing, and apparently if he fit into the environment, or something. Every time Isak explained it to Even, it changed a little, probably just because it stressed him, maybe because it changed frequently on it’s own. Isak said it was the early mornings that he didn’t like, but Even knew the stress of whatever assessment it was played a part in it, too. 

“Mmmph,” Isak groaned, turning onto his stomach. Even had exhausted all his resources: breakfast in bed, kissing along his neck, whispering into his ear. But, Isak either groaned or continuously asked for five more minutes and they were officially running out of time. 

“Isak,” Even groaned, standing back up and looking around the room for any spark of an idea to wake his husband up. His eyes landed on a pair of sandals—that he had begged Isak not to buy—not too far from the bed, he looked back at Isak’s figure under the blankets, laying on his stomach, ass in the air. So, he shrugged, picked up a sandal then quickly pulled the blankets off him, swatting him on the ass with the sandal. 

“Hey!” Isak jumped, a hand flying to his ass before turning around to look at Even. “Can I not just skip today, like just this Wednesday, just once? And you’re using my own shoe against me!” 

“Isak, these sandals are ugly, the only use I’m going to get out of them is smacking your ass and I’ll do it again if you don’t get up,” Even told him, raising his eyebrows at him. “You know you can’t skip. These are important days and it’s going to be fine and you’re going to do fine, okay, baby?” 

“They’re comfortable,” Isak said with a sigh, slowly sitting up and and looking at Even, “And I’m not getting up because you threatened to spank me. That actually sounds pretty sexy.”

“Oh sure, bury my good praise with your horny thoughts,” Even said, rolling his eyes and taking Isak’s hands to pull him up off the bed. He gave him a kiss and dropped the shoe, so he could grab Isak’s plate off the dresser. “I’m going to make this to go, you get dressed, brush your teeth, and do something about your hair. It looks like someone was pulling on it all night.” 

“Pulled on it, ran his fingers through it like a million times a minute, I wouldn’t even be surprised if it was in his mouth at one point,” Isak said with a little smile, pulling open a drawer and getting out some boxers and pants to wear. 

“I will not be judged for what I do with my husband’s sexy hair,” Even said with a laugh and a wink before he left the room to try to make Isak’s breakfast to go. He’d do anything to help make Isak’s day go by smoother. That’s why he was driving him to work, he’d leave his own work to bring him his lunch, and pick him up after work even though he’d have to wait a good thirty or so minutes for Isak. 

~   
*  
“You are so good to me, baby,” Isak told him, his voice filled with bliss as he rolled his head against Even’s chest. After Even made him dinner, he had drawn Isak a bath and although Even had been expecting some sexy underwater fun, feeling Isak relaxing and hearing him so content made Even feel good, too. 

“Treating you like a king is much more fun than hearing you whine all day,” Even joked, squeezing Isak then letting his hands fall to his abdominals, resting them there as though there was no further agenda for them. “Plus, I love babying you. Even though I’m pretty sure it’s made you spoiled.” 

“I _am_ spoiled, aren’t I?” Isak giggled, still in bliss as if he was high off the moment. Everything about the sound intoxicated Even, putting him right there on that level with him. It made his heart lurch to shower him more, show him more how much he loved him. “Well, you made me this way and there’s no turning back now.”

“It’s a good thing I fucking love you the way you are,” Even said, adjusting himself a little underneath Isak so that he could start peppering kisses on his neck. He rubbed his lower abdominals then listened to Isak gasp as he slipped his hands to his inner thighs, spreading them just a little and then wrapping a hand around his dick. “And I love fucking my spoiled baby.” 

“The water’s gonna get cold,” Isak slurred, less in protest and more just stating the facts. He was already semi-hard, already ready for Even to please, completely on board. He even hitched a leg up over the edge of the tub, pressing his ass into Even’s crotch. 

“Fuck the water,” Even said, using his foot to flick the switch to the drain. He didn’t need the water, he just needed Isak, right then and there. He slowly jerked his hand along Isak’s cock as the water around them slowly emptied out of the tub. This had all been slightly planned—not exactly in the way it played out—so Even had the lube nearby and he was so ready for this. 

“Nah, me, just fuck me,” Isak said with another little giggle, reaching for the place where Even hid the lube. Even hadn’t told him about it, but he also wasn’t surprised that Isak knew he put it there. It couldn’t have been a far jump to assume that Even getting Isak naked and joining him in the tub meant that he was probably expecting it to go somewhere. Isak knew him. 

Isak set down the lube between Even’s legs and turned his head, kissing Even slowly, a smile on his lips the whole time. Even still slowly worked at his dick until the water was gone, cold air hitting any wet skin that wasn’t connected to Isak’s. Once the water was gone, Isak picked the lube back up and put some in his hand, slicking it around a couple of his fingers and then grabbing Even’s hand and doing the same. He guided their pointer fingers down to his heat and they slowly pushed them inside together, moving and curving together. 

Isak tilted his head back against Even’s chest and let out a little moan. They pumped their fingers together, Even added more when Isak pleaded, slowly opening him up with a little bit of teamwork. By the time he was ready, they were both sweating, the cold air forgotten.

Isak moved forward a little and reached around, slicking up Even’s dick before sitting down on it. It was Even’s turn to call out as he watched Isak’s muscles on his back ripple with the movement, reaching forward and running his hand gently up and down his side as Isak settled on his dick. Isak put his hand on the side of the tub for leverage, tightening his leg around the edge, too before he started slowly rocking his hips. 

The two of them moaned out together as Isak’s heat surrounded and pulse over Even’s dick. The pleasure never being something Even could grow tired of. He put a hand on Isak’s shoulder, guiding him ever-so-slightly as they moved their hips together. He watched the curve of his back, the way he tilted his head back, the moans escaping his husbands mouth and he knew he was right there in complete bliss with him. 

As his hips thrusts into Isak’s ass, there was a continuous tingle of the skin where it touched. It made him crave more skin-on-skin, so he suddenly pulled Isak by the shoulder back into his chest and thrust up hard into him. He slid his other hand to grip his man’s hips, holding them still while Even remained balls-deep. Isak yelped out, his chest heaving with his back arched against Even’s chest. 

“Stay still,” Even told him, his hand sliding from his shoulder to his neck, squeezing it gently then sliding it down his chest. Isak’s thighs were quivering with need and Even knew how badly he wanted to move, but he listened, always trusting Even with his pleasure. Knowing Even would make sure he was completely satisfied and spoiled rotten in the process. So, Even slid his hand down to his dick, wrapping his hand around it and slowly jerking it for him, knowing how badly he wanted so some of release to the tension that was building between their still hips. It wasn’t long before the motion had Isak thrusting his hips up into his hand, so Even gripped his hips harder and held him back down, though the slight movement on his cock sent fire through his abdominals and made him want to cave, too, “Hey.” 

“S-sorry,” Isak whimpered. 

“C’mere face me,” Even said, letting him go so the he could move. He bit his lip hard, watching as Isak removed himself from him and turned around, placing his feet on either side of Even’s hips as he sat back down on top of him. Even sat up straight and pulled him to his chest and moved them to the middle of the tub, their legs somewhat bent behind each other. He ran his fingers through Isak’s hair, holding his head over his shoulder as he did. “Let’s finish this, baby.” 

Even thrust back up into him and then he and Isak were moving their hips together, calling out each other’s names, biting each other’s lips as they gripped the sides of the tub. Fast hard, sweaty, they finished within moments of each other, chest to chest. And, of course, they had to shower afterward, steaming up the bathroom even further. 

“Thank you for making bad days good days,” Isak told him as they dried each other off after their shower. They were officially in a place where they were doing everything for one another. Even wouldn’t be surprised if they’d dressed each other afterwards—if they got dressed, anyway. 

“Well, it’s because you make every day the best day, my love,” Even told him, dropping his towel and taking Isak’s chin so he could nuzzle his nose against his. “Do you want to go to bed?” 

“Let’s watch a movie in bed, with popcorn,” Isak said, pecking his lips and pulling back, “And don’t protest about crumbs because popcorn is hardly crumby and you’re spoiling me. So, I get what I want.” 

“Until you start becoming a brat,” Even told him, raising his eyebrows and looking at him as if he were serious. “Then maybe I’ll actually have to try that spanking thing we discussed this morning.” 

“That was hardly a discussion,” Isak said, looking at Even with a smirk. “And you’re not actually serious...You’re not serious, are you?” 

“Well, as long as you’re consenting, I’m pretty sure that’s for me to know and you to find out,” Even told him with a shrug and a wink, wrapping his arm around Isak’s waist and leading him out to the kitchen to get him his popcorn. “I may have to do some research on the subject.” 

“What kind of research? Research me, I took that sex psych class, remember?” Isak asked, looking at Even as he pulled out the popcorn. Even definitely remembered that class. It was the reason they tried some _really_ good stuff. It kind of revamped their sex life. But, apparently Even didn’t know about _everything_ Isak had learned in that class. 

“Weird that you never brought it up,” Even said, squinting his eyes a little at him, wondering what Isak was thinking. What had he learned?

“It’s a weird subject,” Isak shrugged and then jumped up on the counter, “But, I’m totally open to try anything, you know that. Just, it would definitely only be a sexual thing. Like, no spanking our kids.” 

“Oh, definitely,” Even agreed, nodding his head and laughing a little. He loved how comfortable Isak had grown in his skin, how open he was to try anything because he was so comfortable with Even and he trusted Even and it was perfect. It was exactly what the two of them needed from each other. “I’ll keep it in mind.” 

“Well, I suppose I’ll try to be a good boy,” Isak laughed, shaking his head. “Now, let’s get that popcorn popping. What do you think we should watch?”  
*

_Friday, April 5_

“Boys, boys, boys, you’re looking in all the wrong places,” Isak told them, slamming down his empty beer bottle and looking around the bar once more before he looked at Jonas and Mats across the booth from him and Even. Even and Jonas were trying to pick out girls for Mats to try to pick up, but it was pretty obvious that they weren’t the wingmen Mats needed. He knew he probably could be, but unfortunately for Mats, he was getting drunk and decided he’d rather make a joke of it. So, he pointed to a guy at the corner of the bar who he _knew_ was gay because he’d caught him staring at Even a number of times that night. “The power bottom over there is way more his type.”

“The power wha—” He turned his head and looked at the guy and then groaned, “Oh, I see. Haha, the gay guy, very funny, Isak. But, you should know that if I was going home with any gay guys it’d be one of you three, and I’d probably end up on the couch.” 

“You’d _definitely_ end up on our couch,” Even said, his hand protectively squeezing Isak’s thigh. Sometimes Mats said shit like that, and if he were any other straight guy, it’d be totally fine, but he wasn’t. Sometimes, it made Isak think that maybe he knew about what Isak had felt. Sometimes, it made Isak feel like he should just tell him so that he could stop saying anything that could be triggering. He’d just hoped Even got over it as quickly as Isak did. He elbowed Even just slightly and took his hand on his thigh, lacing their fingers together. 

“Definitely better off going home to Jonas and Sonja, then at least you’d have something in the mix that you’d like,” Isak said, shrugging a little and then looking off at the guy at the bar again. “Okay, but seriously, someone needs to tell that guy that Even is off limits. Like, obviously we’re together, stop eye-fucking my man.” 

“I can go say something,” Even offered, looking down at Isak and letting go of his hand so he could wrap his arm around him instead. 

“Nei, not you,” Isak almost growled, his buzz making him a little bit more possessive. He looked at his empty beer bottle then at the boys across from him. “I’ll get us another round if one of you two tell that guy to get the fuck out. I don’t care who, as long as he’s gone when I’m back with our drinks. Deal?”

“God, I love how protective you guys get when you drink. It’s so hot. I’ll do it,” Jonas said, hitting the table with his hands and standing up. “Come on buddy, let’s do this.” 

“Good, play nice, boys,” Isak said as he stood up, leaning back over to give Even a kiss before walking off to the bar with Jonas. He walked into the crowd and flagged down a bartender, watching Jonas out of the corner of his eye while he talked to the guy. “Four beers please, whatever’s cheap, we’re not picky.” 

He handed over his card to the woman behind the bar, watching her as she worked. She swiped his card, grabbed a few empty cups off the bar, rinsed them, poured someone else’s drink then finally grabbed his beers. She set them in front of him and gave him his card. 

“Did you want to start a tab?” She asked, looking at him with an eyebrow raise. It was then that he noticed he had probably been staring at her because she was actually quite gorgeous. The kind of gorgeous that Mats would be into. Short and small, but a tough type of charm, her hair dark and kind of messy, her makeup perfectly done, features lighting up and thick eyeliner shaping her dark blue eyes. 

“Uh, yeah,” Isak said, thinking about it. Isak obviously didn’t know shit about this women, but he was pretty sure if he got her to give Mats her number, he’d be wingman number one. “Hey, can you help me carry these over to my table? I’m kind of clumsy.” 

“Are you trying to pick me up? I’m working,” She said, walking over to the register. “What’s your name? For the tab.”

“The last name on the card is Bech Næsheim,” Isak said, leaning on the bar and then looking back at Even, “It’s my husband’s card, actually. So, no, I’m not picking you up. I was thinking more for my friend. Just maybe drop by, give him a once over and if you think he’s cute or whatever, when I close up the tab, you give me your number for him.” 

“Being second hand picked up by a gay guy,” She shook her head and walked around the counter, taking two beers. Isak picked up the other two. “Does he not have the balls to come over here himself?” 

“He doesn’t know I’m doing this,” Isak shrugged and started walking, “Just so you know, the blonde is not him. The blonde guy is mine. He is really hot, though and you probably would give him your number.” 

“So the friend isn’t as good looking as the husband, so he needs help, got it,” She nodded and they started getting close to the table, Even spotted them coming back and meeting Isak’s gaze with a smile and a nod before he noticed the girl to Isak’s side. He raised an eyebrow and Isak shrugged a little. 

“I’m sorry, what’s your name?” Isak asked. “I’m Isak.” 

“Anita,” She said right before they reached the table. Jonas still wasn’t back, it was just Even and Mats. 

“Hey guys, Anita offered to help bring the drinks over,” Isak said, setting down his drink and handing one to Even before sitting down next to him and looking back over at Anita as she handed Mats his drink and set down the other. “Thanks so much. Either of these guys can access my tab, okay?” 

“Got it,” She said, smiling and tapping the table before heading off. Isak had no idea whether or not she was into Mats or not, but he’d figure it out when he went back up. 

“Jonas still isn’t back?” Isak asked, sipping his beer and leaning into Even. 

“He and that guy went off, they’re probably fucking in the bathroom or something,” Even shrugged, wrapping his arm around Isak and sipping his own beer. “I just hope he’s back before Sonja gets here and gets pissed.” 

“I thought they had an open relationship?” Mats asked, picking up his beer and scratching at the label a little.

“They do, but only when the other isn’t around, or they have to like, have a planned orgy or whatever,” Isak shrugged, not fully understanding the terms of Sonja and Jonas’ relationship, but not saying much because he didn’t ever want to come off as judgemental. He just knew Jonas was more into it than Sonja. Sonja would probably prefer real commitment, but she was afraid to get out there. “It’s confusing but it works for them. For the most part. You know, unless Sonja gets here before they’re done.” 

“Sometimes I think he’s cracked the code to life, sometimes I think he’s just cracked,” Mats said, shaking his head and laughing before taking a sip of his beer and leaning back. “It’s probably you two that have the secret to life figured out. I’d like to be as happy as you.” 

“Okay, you’re the sappy level of drunk right now and I need you to be a better kind of drunk, so keep drinking, please,” Isak said, reaching over the table and holding his beer back for longer. He didn’t protest, just continued downing the beverage until he couldn’t and pushed Isak’s hand away, setting it back down. Isak laughed and then looked at Even. “And now I can’t stop thinking about sex in the bathroom.” 

“I’m sure we’ll get to it, love,” Even said, putting his hand on Isak’s thigh. 

~

That Friday night at the bar drew a pretty good crowd for their group. Sonja showed up, then Mutta and Chris and Elias came onto the scene together, and lastly Magnus joined them later on, cramming himself into the booth next to Isak and Even and immediately complaining about how Vilde had him sleeping on the couch, so he went out. The two of them didn’t have the greatest relationship anymore and everyone knew they were really only together for their child, complaining about each other any chance that they got, so it was expected as soon as they saw him come into the room, but Isak was sure everyone hoped it’d be different this time.

It wasn’t.

“And like, at least if we were banging, things would be a little bit better, but she’s basically got me dry,” Magnus groaned, downing some of his beer and then pushing his hair back. He was already wasted, sad and pathetic, talking about all the girls in the bar he’d bang even though everyone knew that his heart still yearned for Vilde. Somewhere way deep down. “I only get lucky if she’s horny, so I try to get her horny, but then she says I’m too horny and I need to grow up.” 

“Well, you definitely still sound like a teenager,” Isak said, nudging him with his elbow though he was kind of contradicting himself as he spoke. Magnus had squeezed in next to Isak and Even in the booth, so Isak was kind of half in Even’s lap, which was distracting enough without Even’s hand on his thigh, inching up and sliding to his inner thigh every now and then. Isak was getting hard and hoping they’d slip away to the bathroom soon. He was just proud of himself and of Even for staying with the conversation, though. 

“Well maybe I could grow more if I was satisfied more,” Magnus said, shrugging and finishing off his beer. The rest of the table laughed at him and went quiet for a moment, knowing that Magnus was definitely in need of growing up, but no one wanted to force him to do anything. Isak hoped that he’d eventually find his way. “It’s fine, I mean, I could be worse. I don’t actually fuck anyone else. I am faithful as fuck this time. I hope she is too.” 

“She is, Mags,” Chris said with a sigh, looking up at the ceiling. Chris and Vilde were still best friends, and usually Chris wouldn’t sit back while Magnus went on, but this time she let him. That was the first time she spoke up. And she was right, for Vilde and Mags, things had been different before, there had been cheating on both ends, but now they were both just content, living and being together without any third party that wasn’t their child. “You two will figure this out, okay? Now let’s talk about something else. I’d rather we didn’t talk about Vilde.” 

“Oh, did you guys know Mikael is going to be back in town soon?” Mutta asked, looking around excitedly. Of course, the table probably wasn’t the best people to be telling. Even and Mikael never got out of their weird limbo status and Jonas and Sonja fought a lot about Mikael. So, Mikael coming into town could have been trouble. “C’mon guys, this is why inner group dating was never a good idea. We better all hang out while he’s in town.” 

“Good luck getting everyone together,” Even said, his hand still working on Isak’s thigh, still getting a rise out of him. His fingers even grazed his hard-on a few times, making Isak have to chew on his lip not to give anything away. “Mats shows up more than our high school friends, and we don’t even like him as much.” 

“Speak for yourself, he’s totally awesome,” Sonja said and then looked at Mats, “You’re totally awesome and I think the bartender agrees. When we went up there, she was totally making eyes. So, I’ll totally talk you up, if you want.” 

“Hey, don’t take credit for that, I totally had that in my pocket,” Isak said, rolling his head back a little, trying so hard to stay calm as Even’s fingers cupped around him over his jeans. “She’s...ah, going to give him her number when I close the tab.” 

“You have something else in your pocket over there?” Chris asked bluntly with a laugh, her eyes going down to Isak’s lap, as if trying to look through the table to see what was going on. “Even’s hand maybe?” 

“Oh my god, is he jerking you off in the booth? I’m sitting _right_ here,” Magnus groaned, sliding out and looking at the two of them as the rest of the group laughed. 

“Wait, she’s giving me her number?” Mats asked. 

“He’s not,” Isak sighed, ignoring Mats because he’d figure it out anyway. Isak pushed Even’s hand away from his crotch and took it in his own hand. He slid out of the booth and pulled Even out with him, standing slightly behind him to hide his boner. “But, we’ll be slipping away for unrelated reasons. Be back in a bit.” He fully expected the hooting and hollering—aside from Mats still asking about Anita—that followed as he and Even slipped away to find somewhere to be alone.

 

_Saturday, April 6_

When Isak woke up that morning, Even was doing work. Okay, yes, he was making Isak breakfast _and_ working, but Saturdays were supposed to be their days off. And, so, Isak was fully prepared to protest as Even handed him his coffee and some ibuprofen for his hangover, but as he watched Even walk back over to his laptop, he couldn’t help but think about all the work he had to do too, the list piling up as the days dragged on.

Had it already been over a month since they had made their decision to change their entire lives? Had Isak done anything except complain about the abundance of work on his plate because of _his own_ decision to suddenly change it up and go for his PhD? Had he really let Isak do all the real work thus far in planning. 

He took his ibuprofen and then walked behind Even, looking over what he was doing. Looked like more of the paperwork for their visas, which they couldn’t even actually finish and submit until Isak made an actual decision on where he would finish his residency in the states. It wasn’t like he didn’t have it narrowed down or anything, because he totally did, but when it came down to the final decision, he was afraid of making the wrong one. 

“I guess I should probably make a decision, huh?” Isak asked quietly, moving to lean against the counter, watching Even’s face as he scrolled. He stopped and turned his head, looking at Isak with an eyebrow raise. “I want to, I just, I don’t know.” 

“You don’t know?” Even asked, pushing off from where he was leaning against the counter in front of his laptop and walking over to the stove, which was emitting a heavenly smell that Isak guessed was some sort of breakfast casserole. He opened the oven and squatted down, peering inside. “Because I think I do.” 

“I just don’t want to pick the wrong one,” Isak said, hopping up on the counter and watching him close the oven back up, shaking his head before moseying back over to Isak. “It’s not that I don’t want to do this, if that’s what you’re thinking.” 

“You think I would have taken this as far as we have if I even had the tiniest thought you didn’t want to?” Even shook his head and placed his hands on Isak’s knees, stepping in between them to get nice and close to Isak. “You know we only do things when we’re both on the same page. And you know that we know when we’re on the same page. This isn’t about a kid or any theoretical future involving our family. Or, not directly.”

“Well now I really don’t know if I know what you’re thinking about,” Isak said, blinking his eyes and looking back at Even, curious of the thing his better half knew about him that he hadn’t yet figured out himself. “Enlighten me.”

“You’ve worked really hard, Isak. I mean during your time at school and everything, I’ve seen you stressing over tests and staying up for days on end to make sure you’re doing everything absolutely right. You want to get this right,” Even said with a little shrug and then a peck on his lips. “Now I do have various theories on _why_ you want to get it so right, but that doesn’t matter right now. What does matter is that you’re afraid. You’ve worked so hard and you’ve done so much right and now you’re changing things up and maybe it’s going to cost you all those gold stars, right? Especially because we’ll be in a foreign country and it won’t be your first language and we’ll be making this huge move forward in our life together. But, Isak, we are going to make the best out of _all_ of it. Even if you picked the worst place in the world, we’d figure it out together. I know we could.” 

“Even Bech Næsheim, have you ever thought about becoming a therapist?” Isak asked with a little smile, wrapping his arms around Even’s neck. He was definitely onto something. Isak knew he’d been afraid, but he couldn’t place the fear. He didn’t think about the fear of losing all of his successes. 

“You’re the only person whose brain I’d like to pick, honestly,” Even said, tilting his head and smiling back before nuzzling in and pecking Isak on the lips. “So, I’m right, then? Because, baby, we can still do some last ditch google searches, find reviews of the places, the doctors, I’m sure we can really nail it down, baby. The perfect choice.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Isak shrugged a little and pressed up a little bit to find Even’s lips again, if only for a moment. They brushed and he sighed a little, “But you know we’re not supposed to do work on Saturdays. It’s supposed to be a day for us and fun. So, breakfast, then work for like two hours, then take the rest of the day to ourselves?” 

“We stayed at the bar until _closing_ last night, I think we’ve earned ourselves a couple hours of work,” Even said with a laugh. 

“Fun earns work? Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around?” Isak squinted his eyes and pursed his lips skeptically at Even.

“Not when you want to do the work because it’s leading to exciting things, baby,” Even said, smiling and taking advantage of Isak’s pursed lips, leaning down for a real kiss. It was a proper good morning kiss and Isak probably should have jumped into that first instead of talking about work, but he was glad they talked. Hopefully he only needed two hours to make that final decision and then that weight would be off his shoulders. And they’d be a step closer to the exciting things, which made Isak’s chest lurch. 

He actually wasn’t _always_ excited by their decision, but there were moments. Moments like that when they made a step, when they got closer, where it felt real, where things felt like they were shifting. That’s when Isak felt the most excited. Or when Even got excited and went into great detail about all of his parental ideas. So Isak let the excitement build, his heart beating fast as he gripped onto Even and kissed him more passionately, wrapping his legs tight around his waist and not preparing to let go. 

“Isak, Isak, Isak,” Even murmured against his lips, pulling back a little as Isak continued to attack him with his kisses, kissing down his jaw now. “Isak if we get into this, breakfast will burn. At least let me turn off the oven.” 

~

“Decision made, then?” Even asked, reaching over Isak’s laptop and shutting it. “And you’ll tell Markus first thing Monday?” 

“First thing Monday,” Isak nodded and grabbed for his laptop again. “But, I suppose that I should probably work more on my research if I’m going to be talking to him. So, maybe I should just keep up the momentum and keep working.” 

“Isaaaak, no, _you_ were the one who said only two hours and we’ve definitely already gone over that,” Even said, taking the laptop away from him completely and walking it across the room before turning around and putting his hands on his hips. “So then what should we do, baby? Maybe Sana and Yousef want to hang out? Or Mutta or someone?” 

“Eh, I guess,” Isak shrugged and then got up, walking over to Even and his laptop. He put his hand on the laptop and ran it over the smooth surface before looking up at Even, “Maybe Yousef and Sana want to see a movie?” 

“Did you just get mopey because I told you that you _can’t_ do work?” Even raised an eyebrow, putting his hands on Isak’s waist. “C’mon, you’ll have all tomorrow to get work done, and I’ll probably be around most of the day to make sure you _actually_ work. Okay? Now, do you really want to see a movie?” 

“Sorry,” Isak said, wrapping his arms around Even’s neck and stepping closer. “I’m not moping. I don’t know what I want to do, though. You know I’m fine spending all day in the house with you. Or if you want we can go to the movies, just us.” 

“I seem to be picking up a _just us_ theme,” Even said, squinting his eyes playfully as the corners of his mouth twitched upward. “So, I suggest—” 

Even was cut off by Isak’s ringtone for Eskild. The both stopped, turning to look at where the phone was going off on the couch where Isak had been sitting. And, they both knew he was going to answer it. Since Eskild moved away with Noora and Eva, Isak made sure he didn’t miss calls if he could manage. He never knew if it was going to be important, which definitely gave Eskild an upper hand, allowing him to call about basically any bullshit, knowing full well that Isak would answer. 

“It’s fine, Isak, talk to them,” Even said, letting him go and letting Isak grab the phone. 

“Okaaay,” Isak sighed and then picked up the phone, “Halla?” 

“Isak, oh my god, I’m at this cafe and I swear to you, I am being eyed by some sort of English Zac Efron, I need you to fluff me up, tell me how amazing I am so I can be all confident,” Eskild said, his tone urgent and excited on the other line. 

“Eskild, you’re great, you’re amazing, you don’t need me to talk you up,” Isak said, and it was true. Eskild didn’t need him, he didn’t even think Eskild would ever even admit to needing help for something like that. Especially not from Isak, his Baby Gay. “So, if you don’t tell me what this is really about, I’m going to go because I’ve got a hot date with my Norwegian Zac Efron.” 

“Seriously, Isak, I can have bad days too, I just need you to be a friend, here,” Eskild said, and Isak could hear his pout. It just sounded like a scheme to get Isak to talk to him. He knew Eskild missed Oslo, he knew he missed hanging out with Isak, but they really did spend a good deal of the time texting, at least. “Not all of us have super hot husband’s who we can bang whenever and who _also_ cooks for us. I mean, fy faen, Isak, you got the fucking jackpot and you can’t spare a little bit of all that good fortune to talk to your _Guru_ who raised you into the gay that you are.” 

“Eskild, we are not going over this _taking responsibility for my sexuality_ thing again,” Isak said, and he was smiling. Because he missed Eskild too, and all of his dramatics. “Listen, if you want to talk to me, that’s fine, let’s talk. How about a phone date sometime soon? Oh and Eva and Noora too, I just have a question for them.” 

“Fine, I’m texting you a date and if you don’t dedicate _at least an hour_ to me and only me, then I’m going to fly back there just to kill you, Valtersen, and it will be a very gay death,” Eskild said. 

“Not Valtersen anymore and what the hell is a gay death?” Isak asked, plopping on the couch and laughing. “It sounds super sexual so I’m going to have to pass because you are not my husband.” 

“So Even could kill you as long as it was a gay, sexually violent death? Isak, you are one sick individual,” Eskild tsk’d on the other line and then sighed. “But, fine Isak, we will talk tomorrow and oh my God he finally just looked at me, game on. Gotta go, love you Baby Gay.” 

Click. Isak shook his head and pulled the phone from his ear looking at the screen and looking arcross the room at Even, who was officially making his way over to Isak.

“That was interesting just on this side of that phone call,” Even said with a laugh, plopping next to him on the couch and wrapping his arm around him. “First, I’m pretty sure you called me _a Norwegian Zac Efron_ and then I heard the phrase ‘gay death,’ and then ‘super sexual’ used to describe it and somehow I ended up being mentioned in the same sentence.”

“Eskild really knows how to make the most out of a conversation,” Isak said, turning his head and smiling at Even. He kissed his cheek a few times, cozying up next to him on the couch. “And I said Norwegian Zac Efron because you are one sexy motherfucker.” 

“You miss him, huh?” Even asked, though his tone definitely made it sound more like a statement. Because, of course Even knew. Even if Isak did tend to rag on Eskild and his ways, Even knew that Isak was definitely missing all of those over dramatic tendencies. Isak nodded a little. “Wanna stay in tonight instead? I’m sure we can manage to find _something_ to watch that we haven’t already seen.” 

“Well, now that we’re cuddling I don’t really want to stop anyway…” 

 

_Tuesday, April 9_

“What are you guys going to do out there?” Magnus asked Even and Isak. The three of them, plus Jonas were all having dinner at Even and Isak’s house. Every now and then Magnus would declare that they all needed to hang out, for “old times sake.” Of course, it wasn’t exactly like old times with Mahdi out traipsing the world with some girl he barely new, but it was the closest they could get. 

“Probably most of the things we do here?” Even said, but it came out more as a question. Obviously, the two of them talked about the time they’d spend in the states, the sites they might want to make an effort to see, and other various things. But, it wasn’t like they could be tourists for a whole year, they did kind of had actual lives they were leading. “I mean, obviously there will be the baby drama, but we’ll still be working, I’ll do my vlogs, make meals for us, we’ll watch movies and cuddle and go to bars and…” 

“Fuck like bunnies,” Jonas interjected, elbowing Magnus and laughing. Jonas and Magnus tended to fall on the same level of maturity those days. Whereas when Isak first met Jonas, he seemed so wise, so smart and aware of the world. Not that it wasn’t a good remark, and Even and Isak both had to laugh at it too, it was just something that was growing more and more obvious to Isak. 

“Okay, but seriously, I mean, you said you’re going to California? There is like, so much to do in California,” Magnus said. “You can’t just do all the same shit.” 

“Magnus, we’ll definitely take advantage of all the opportunities we’ll have while we’re there,” Isak told him, “There’s a lot to do and see but we’re going there for a reason and we’ll have a lot to do, too. But don’t worry, you’ll get pictures and souvenirs.” 

“That’s all I needed to know, man,” Magnus said, laughing and finishing up his food. “And then when you get back, we can hang out more because you’ll have a kid and we can do like, play dates.” 

“Actually, this past week _you’ve_ been hanging out more,” Jonas pointed out, sitting back and looking at Magnus. “Have you suddenly got a babysitter? Or did you ditch the kid at some sort of home or something?” 

“Nei, nei,” Magnus shook his head and got up from the table, walking over to the fridge and grabbing one of Isak’s beers like he owned the place. “Vilde...well, she actually kind of wants me to keep my distance right now,” he sipped the beer and leaned against the counter, “I’m just respecting her wishes in hopes that there will finally be no more fighting.”

“Why is she asking you to stay away?” Even asked, getting up and starting to clear the table, Isak started to get up to help but Even put his hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down before he could stand up at all. He took his plate and walked around the table, taking everyone else’s. 

“Well, I...okay, listen, it’s really not as bad as it sounds,” Magnus prefaced, which basically had everyone preparing for the absolute worst. “But, I was home with Liv, and I got her to go to sleep on time for once and so I decided to get a little high. Like, a couple hits, but it’d been awhile so I got like, faced. And, Liv is totally fine and whatever, but probably like, five minutes before Vilde got home, I accidentally knocked down this shelf and it woke Liv up and so she was crying. And since it smelled like weed, I looked like the worst father ever and so yeah, Vilde’s mad.” 

“I totally get relaxing after the kid has gone to bed, man, but there were so many flaws in that story,” Jonas said, clicking his tongue and getting up, pulling a joint out of his pocket. “First, you never smoke alone, that’s what your boys are for. Two, if there’s a chance your daughter is going to need you, like at all, you don’t get faced or you _are_ a bad father. Also, don’t be an idiot and knock shit over...or smoke where your daughter—or Vilde for that matter—could smell it.” 

“Liv’s two, she’s not going to know what the smell is,” Magnus said. 

“Not the point, Mags,” Jonas said, shaking his head and lighting up the joint right there. He took a few puffs and handed it out to Magnus. 

“Nuh uh, if I go home high, that’ll be it, man.” Magnus said, shaking his head and pushing Jonas’ offer away. So, Isak got up and took it from him, taking a couple hits. He walked it over to Even, who was now rinsing dishes, and held it up to his mouth. He wrapped his lips around it and took a tiny hit. “Even’s smoking? Ah fuck, okay, hand it over.” 

~   
*  
“It sounds like things are getting pretty rough,” Even told Magnus. The four of them were lying on the carpet in their living room, looking up at the ceiling. They had a few lamps pointed up at it, the rest of the room growing dark as the sun set. Soon, the ceiling would sparkle and remind them of the unburdened night sky itself. “Maybe it’s time to end it.” 

“Even!” Isak called out, his arm flying out and hitting him in the stomach. Isak was pretty high. It had gotten pretty rare that they would ever smoke, and Isak still did more than Even, but it had been a while since the last time, he was pretty sure. A month, maybe. Even had taken two baby hits and called it a day himself, but Jonas and Isak had the most, and Isak was so high. “You can’t say that. What about Liv? What about the love? You still love her Magnus, don’t you?” 

“Of course, she’s Vilde, my first love, the mother of my child, I’ll always love her,” Magnus said quietly. To Even, it didn’t sound convincing, it sounded more like an _it’s over_ statement. If someone asked Even about his love for Isak. Whew, he wouldn’t know where to begin. 

“Exactly, and love is worth fighting for,” Isak said, his arm still resting on Even’s stomach from when he hit him. “When Even and I have problems, we talk about them. We work on things. Always working and being better. Right baby? I mean, what if someone told you it was time to end it when...everything with Mats.” 

“With Mats?” Jonas asked, his body shooting into an upright position in the now-dark room, sparkles on the ceiling and the little light reflection off of it being the only light and only shining around them instead of on them, a little trick Even learned in film school. “What the hell did I miss? You didn’t fuck Mats, did you? He’s straight? There’s no way. Did you?” 

“Isak used to have sex dreams about him,” Even said with a sigh, not really wanting that to be there the conversation went. He did better when he didn’t think about it. And, generally speaking, he was pretty good at not thinking about it. “But, that was all totally different. Magnus and Vilde both had sex with _the same girl_ behind each other’s backs at one point. He’s _always_ talking about the idea of fucking other girls. Besides, it could be a different kind of love than what you and me have.” 

“Another kind of love? I feel like you’ve used that before,” Isak got closer to Even’s face, making it easier to see him and scrunched his nose. “Was it about Mikael? Are we covering Mats and Mikael in the same conversation?” 

“No, Isak, shh,” Even put a hand over his mouth for a second, needing him to stop making this worse. “Magnus, what do you think? I mean, I can feel, like with every microfiber of my being that Isak is the one and only person for me. How do you feel?” 

“Ugh, I don’t fucking know,” Magnus groaned, and made some sort of movement, Even hearing the ruffling of his clothes in the dark. “I fucking love her, I know that. I don’t want to split up our family. I know that. I just don’t know. There’s a fucking barrier and I can’t figure it out.” 

“I’m telling you, therapy is your friend,” Isak shrugged, “Just talking things out does wonders. I mean, me _and_ Even used to hate on it. Even used to get mad at his parents for needing help with their marriage. But, now we both go from time to time and it’s great. Maybe suggest that.” 

“If you pay Isak, he can totally be your therapist,” Even said with a little laugh, moving closer to Isak so they could cuddle. He lifted him up a little and let him lay his head on his chest. He ran his fingers through his husband's silky locks and smiled to himself. “But you have to pay him. No friend discounts, we need money.” 

“So, Isak seriously had sex dreams about Mats?” Magnus asked, changing the subject. He sat up and found Isak's leg in the dark, kicking it. “You have the _perfect_ man. _And_ I'm better looking than that. Any sex dreams about me?” 

“I'll take this, baby,” Even said, patting his arm then addressing Magnus. “Magnus, we all know that out of you and Isak, you're the one who would be having the sex dreams about him. You dream about that, Mags? Isak ramming—”

“Even you're going to make me throw up,” Isak said, moving and putting his hand over Even's mouth. 

“ _Throw up?_ ” Magnus asked incredulously. “Fuck, I don't know if I'm more offended by that or by the fact that Even thinks I'd be the bottom.” 

“You're the straightest bottom I know, Mags, but you're a bottom,” Jonas said, laughing. Isak and Even joined along while Magnus protested with a groan. “You know, actually, didn't you used to be into the idea of Vilde being a dominatrix? Get her a strap on and have her fuck you. That'll save your marriage.” 

“Very funny, assholes, but nothing goes up this ass. It's sacred,” Magnus said defiantly from where he sat in the dark, the three other boys continuing to laugh.  
*

_Thursday, April 11_

“You know, I totally forgot, but the two of us ran into Mikael at the store yesterday,” Josefine said as she started clearing the table with Martin. “He was with his fiancé. Why didn't you tell us he got engaged? She is just the sweetest thing ever, he definitely landed on his feet.” 

“Mikael is engaged?” Isak asked Even, mostly just wondering if he knew. He couldn't have, because Isak couldn't think of any good reason he'd keep that from him. That was actually great news.

“I didn't know,” Even said with a shrug. He bit his lip and looked at the ground before looking back up at his Mom, “We haven't really been keeping in touch. So, this is news to me. She's nice?” 

“Oh she was an absolute sweetheart,” Josefine gushed and leaned against the counter. “Did you guys have some sort of a fallout?” 

“Mom, you don't know?” And asked incredulously. “Don't you remember the wedding? Mikael got trashed. He obviously never got over Even. If I were Isak I'd make sure they stayed apart too. I mean, he used to live right next door to Even when he was with Mikael. Oh my God, I just put that together, Isak, that must have been horrific.” 

“It's more horrific in retrospect than it was at the time, huh babe?” Even asked, wiggling his eyebrows and grabbing at Isak's waist. Isak wanted to push him away and scold him for even hinting at what went down behind his door in those awkward teenage moments. But, instead of saying anything about that, he focused elsewhere.

“What was horrific is Mikael getting trashed at my wedding,” Isak said, looking up at Even. “And Even offering to be the one to take him back to his hotel room.” 

“Even, you didn't!” Ana screeched and looked at him, obviously appalled and ready to jump on Isak's side.

“I just wanted to make everything perfect for Isak. I didn't want Mikael to ruin anything because he was drunk,” Even shrugged a little. “I _didn't_ bring him to his room, though. I got Elias and Adam to do it.” 

“Only after I forbid him,” Isak teased a little and stood up straight to press his lips to Even's. Their wedding was perfect, if Isak was being honest. He and Even had talked extensively about the guest list and though exes like Jonas and Sonja were obvious invites because of their now-developed friendships, Mikael was a wildcard. But, finally, it was agreed that if Isak could invite Mats, then Even could have Mikael there. 

“How did I miss this?” Josefine asked, rinsing done dishes and then drying off her hands. 

“Mom, you were toasted, too, remember?” Ana asked, “Crying about your baby boy being grown up and married?”

“And I never actually heard you call Even your baby boy like, ever, before that,” Isak laughed and looked at Even, reaching up and pinching his cheek. 

“That's because Even wouldn't let me,” Josefine defended, looking at Even and Isak like it was obvious. “When you were kids, not long after you met, he told me not to embarrass him by calling him that.” 

“Even always had to be the coolest kid,” Isak joked, smiling to himself at that bit of news. Even had always been trying to impress Isak. He told him that in his vows. The two of them had always been in love. Before they even knew it. “Sorry I deprived you of your baby boy.” 

“I got two baby boys out of it,” Josefine said happily and walked over to the two of them,wrapping her arms around them to pinch their cheeks She pinched and squeezed until Even took the initiative to gently swat her away, allowing the two of them their space back. “So, Mikael was drunk and causing a scene. Huh. What else did I miss?” 

“I think that’s it, it was otherwise pretty tame,” Even shrugged. There was of course one part of the evening that only Even and Isak shared. A part that everyone else missed, but it was just for them. It was right before the ceremony, probably with only 30 minutes until they were supposed to be walking down the aisle. They should have been in their places, and they scared everyone, making them think they weren’t going to make it to their own wedding. It was Even’s fault, and it was absolutely perfect.

Even had sent Eva to get Jonas to get Isak so that the two of them could meet before the ceremony. Isak hadn’t known why Even was pulling him down the hallway, both of them fully clad in their tuxes on their wedding day, but Isak would follow Even into any battle. He realized he didn’t even care if the two of them were running away from their wedding and he didn’t care why. So, he let him pull him outside and into the back of the pavillion they had rented. If it was a summer wedding, they would have held a large portion of the evening out there, but it was cold and the inside was just as beautiful. 

Even pulled them out into the snow, it being just thick enough to slowly soak and ruin their good shoes, but Isak didn’t mind, he just kept following until Even stopped them in front of the big tree in the middle of the yard. He put his hands on Isak’s waist and looked down at him, smiling and tugging him closer. 

“What are we doing?” Isak asked, reaching his arms around his neck. He stepped closer until their bodies were touching. His face was already getting cold from the air, but the rest of his body was buzzing. The run was exhilarating, Even standing in front of him, so happy and beautiful in his tux jolted Isak, and they were supposed to be inside, getting ready to walk down the aisle but God he did not care. 

“I was finishing getting ready, practicing my vows and whatnot, and then I was just thinking,” Even bit his lip and rubbed Isak’s side, “we’re about to go out in front of everyone and declare what we already know. That we’re in the deepest of love and absolutely perfect for each other and will be forever. But, I haven’t seen you at all today and I missed you and I don’t want to be out in front of everyone the first time I tell you my vows. I don’t care what you do but I just have a few things and I’m _positive_ you already know. But maybe not in so many words.” 

“We’re going to be late to our own wedding,” Isak said with a little laugh, already tearing up and Even hadn’t said a word of his vows. “But, I’d love to hear it, please.”

“You’re already crying,” Even laughed a little and took a step back, running a hand through Isak’s hair. “I love you, Isak. It’s actually almost funny, when you think about this idea that I’m promising the rest of my life to you, because there really was no life without you. Or there was those five short years before I met you, but they don’t even count because fate, destiny, all of whatever it is in the universe that decides these things, found me my way to you as soon as it could manage and everyday after that, I’ve loved you. Even before I knew why I was doing it, I was always trying to be cooler, and trying to impress you because I just genuinely wanted you to like me, like a lot. I wanted you to want to be around because I wanted you around and, my God do I want you around now and forever. So, Isak, I vow to make every single day of our lives better than the last. I vow to wake up beside you every morning and go to sleep next to you every night for the rest of our lives. And lastly, I vow to love you more and more with each passing day and to cherish every single tiny moment we have together. Also, I hope you’ll still love me if you find out I’m not as cool as I made you believe.”

“You’re cooler than you think, Ev,” Isak laughed a little through his tears, having Even just stare him down with his eyes bright blue in their white surroundings staring him down, peeled with truth and meaning. His hand on the back of Isak’s neck, thumb stroking his jaw the entire time. “You’re going to have to give me a second.” 

The two of them laughed a little then Even kissed him for a few short moments before helping him wipe his tears. Isak cleared his throat and calmed himself, not as prepared as Even for the moment, but he knew that he was going to have to do was talk from the heart. He stepped back for a short moment then grabbed Even’s hands, kissing the backs of them a couple times before stepping closer and looking into Even’s eyes.

“You’re right baby, it’s kind of obvious that we’re here, because life has always had you and it feels like a given that it’ll always have you,” Isak said slowly, trying to make sure not to start sobbing so he could sound coherent—though, Even would honestly probably be able to understand him anyway. “But, it feels good to make a vow to just throw it out in the open. No more hypothetical or guessing we’ll always have each other. Now there will be vows, promises, that it’ll always be us. No matter what life decides to throw our way. Even though we may already know that. I’ve loved you forever, too, you’re the reason I am who I am. You’ve helped me grow and accept myself and get past even the hardest of times. So, I vow to help you, too. Through any difficult times and any new chapters, I’ll be there. I vow to love you and grow with you and never ever let go. I won’t ever let go. I love you and I need you to be mine forever and I vow to be yours. There is no other option.” 

Even started tearing up too, squeezing Isak’s hands and lifting them to kiss them just about a million times while Isak spoke. When he was done, it was quiet around them for a moment and Isak just took in the sheer honesty and bareness of the moment. He was so glad Even wanted to do this alone. It just felt right having just the two of them there to witness the pureness of the moment. 

“Why is it that I just want to disappear off the face of the earth with you?” Even asked, laughing lightly and and letting go of Isak’s hands to grab his hips again. “On our honeymoon, we should go completely wireless or something. Keep contact with just me and you.”

“Because we’re happiest when we’re together,” Isak said with a smile, wrapping his arms around Even’s neck, “Now kiss your damn bride so we can get to our other wedding.” 

“Gladly,” Even said with a laugh and a little shake of his head before leaning in and kissing Isak slowly and passionately, as if it were the first time and the last. 

~  
*  
“So, what do you really think about Mikael being engaged?” Isak asked after the two of them were tucked away into bed that night. The had just finished a movie and now they were spooning, so the question seemed to come out of nowhere, but Even had been waiting for it after his Mom dropped the bomb on them.

“I think good for him,” Even said with a little shrug and it was true. Sure, when Josefine had said it, his heart had sank, but it was because he hadn’t known. Mikael got engaged and didn’t tell him and there was a point in time where he told him anything. So, it kind of stung, but he bounced back in seconds because, well, it’d been years. “Good that he’s moved on. I do hope she’s as nice as my mom was saying, for sure. He deserves it. But, if you’re asking if I’m jealous or something, then I’m pretty sure you already know the answer.” 

“Nei, I’m not asking that, or maybe I was a little,” Isak shrugged a little in his arms and then turned around, looking at him. He looked vulnerable, maybe even nervous to be talking about this. “But you two were close and I know it’s my fault you don’t talk in the first place but maybe you should reach out. He’s moved on so maybe things are in the clear.” 

“You wouldn’t mind?” Even asked with an eyebrow raise. The thing about the two of them were that they trusted each other completely, but when it came to other people, they didn’t have the best control of their jealousy. So, for Isak to trust Mikael to spend time with Even, well, it seemed to be a big step. Maybe they were just maturing, maybe mature people reconciled with their exes once they were both happily spoken for. And, he certainly wouldn’t mind allowing Mikael back in his life, “Okay, yeah, I think maybe I will. We can plan a lunch or something, yeah? I think that’d be good.”

“You’d want me to go, too?” Isak asked. 

“Of course, why not baby?” Even asked, kissing his cheek a couple of times. “I’ll let you know when he’s free. If he even wants to, anyway.”

“He will totally want to see you, I mean, he talked to your parents and stuff so obviously he can't hate you that much,” Isak said and then tucked his head into Even's neck, cuddling into him again. “It's me the probably doesn't want to see, you know.” 

“We're a package deal, my love,” Even told him happily, squeezing him and then squirming to get comfortable in their new position. “So, you are me, I am you. By extension, anyway.” 

“We are a _we_ ,” Isak said with a laugh peppering a few lazy and snuggly kisses into Even's collarbones. 

“Let's be real, we've always been.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading, please comment/kudo and whatnot. ily bye<3


	4. No World Without Me and You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellllo, no one is reading but enjoy if you stumble on this <3

_Saturday, April 13_

“I can’t believe you guys are doing this,” Vilde said, shaking her head disapprovingly. 

“I can’t believe they haven’t done it yet,” Mutta followed up immediately, smirking a little and giving Even and Isak a nod. 

“I can’t believe no one’s even tried to talk us out of it,” Isak said curiously. They were in a tattoo parlor, waiting for their artist to be ready for them, so that they could get their tattoos. They were simple tattoos, so they were able to get them done on the same day. They were both getting the same thing, a black band around their ring fingers with _21:21_ written just above it. “Literally no one thinks this is a bad decision?” 

“Sounds like you do,” Even said, turning to look at Isak straight-on, raising an eyebrow. They were sitting on the couch in the waiting room with Chris, who was the reason Vilde had been tagging along. Not that Isak didn’t like Vilde or didn’t want to hang out with her, she just wasn’t on his first-option invite list. Not for this. She was too judgemental.

“Nei, it’s a great decision, we’re doing this,” Isak nodded. He was absolutely sure this was a good decision. Mostly because he and Even were seriously never breaking up, but also because it was their hands, it’d fade, and tattoo removal had become a lot more easily obtained over the years. “But I kind of wanted someone to fight with, you know, so I could dramatically defend our love. Literally, no one I told was gave me any argument over it.” 

“Isak, I think all of us are way past arguing with either of you about your relationship,” Mutta laughed a little, shaking his head. “I certainly don’t want to live in a world where you guys aren’t together. That’s a world without love, man, You’re the goal. And, so, with that logic, you’ll always be together. So, tattoos are a great idea. You should get each other’s names across your asses too. Two letters per cheek, Beautiful.” 

“Are you stoned?” Chris snorted with laughter, elbowing Even and sharing a look with him before looking back at Mutta. “You totally are.” 

“One of the guys had these edibles and I didn’t think they’d work but now I’m thinking I was wrong,” Mutta said, laughing and then leaning back in his chair, melting into it. “Dude, Chris, let’s get tattoos too. Like, a famous pairing. Like Rick and Morty or Drake and Josh.” 

“Mmm, that sounds awful,” Chris laughed, “If we were to get tattoos they’d have to be of something cool that totally embodies how cool we are.” 

“I don’t think Mutta should be making any life changing decisions if he’s high, anyway,” Vilde interjected, snapping her fingers in front of him to elicit some sort of reaction. What kind of reaction, Isak didn’t know. “See, he would probably consent to a penis across his forehead.” 

“Oh man, do you think people actually do that?” Chris asked, her and Mutta and Even breaking into laughter. 

“Oh my god, every time I hang out with any of you, all you do is laugh at me,” Vilde whined, standing up and grabbing one of the tattoo books off the shelves to look at. “I don’t know why I’m here besides for actual adult interaction. None of you want me here.” 

“We’re not laughing at you, we’re laughing at the idea,” Chris said, still trying to contain her laughter while she explained. “There’s just so many ways a dick can be drawn and just...what’s the most suitable for a face? Lots of detail? A crude outline?” 

“Is that rhetorical?” Vilde sighed, sitting back down with the tattoo book and flipping through it carefully. “Listen, I’m just saying, it’s hard to want to be around when it doesn’t feel like you’re wanted around. Hey, what if I got a tattoo?” 

“A dick across your forehead?” Mutta asked, him and Chris breaking out into laughter again. 

“Excuse me but we’re the ones getting tattoos today, everyone else lay off,” Even said, wrapping his arm around Isak and pulling him into his chest. They only sat there for a few more minutes before they were called back to get their tattoos done. They left the other three in the front room and held each other’s hands while they took turns getting them done, Even being brave and going first. 

And Isak got so nervous waiting for his turn that by the time they were done, he felt like he was on an adrenaline high. He was so excited about how they looked, what they meant, all of it. He just wanted to go out and dance. So, they invited out a few others and hit a couple clubs.

~ 

“Baaaaby, come back to bed,” Even called from the other room, where Isak had left him in bed post-coitus. He should have been as exhausted as Even sounded, but he wasn’t. He was still buzzing with excitement. He’d thought that since he and Even weren’t to drink within their first 24 hours of having their tattoos that the adrenaline rush would wear off and he’d be a total buzzkill. But, somehow, it hadn’t. 

It was kind of freaking him out and he needed a distraction. Round two with Even was probably off the table because of the exhaustion dripping from his husband’s voice, so he supposed he could just play some video games. It’d been a good while since he beat his personal best at FIFA, he could probably shoot for that. 

“I think I’m just going to play some video games, I’ll come to bed in a bit,” Isak said, popping his head back into the bedroom. Even was lying awake under the blankets. He was on his side, looking at Isak, 

“Mmm, wait,” Even said, slowly sitting up and patting the bed beside him. “C’mere first.” 

“Even, you’re exhausted, you should just go to sleep,” Isak said, going into the room and sitting on the bed next to him anyway. “I promise I won’t be long.” 

“Yes, I’ll go to sleep and you can play your video games however late you want to,” Even said with a tired laugh, reaching out and raking his fingers through Isak’s hair. “I just love you. I also have no idea how you’re not as tired as I am after all the dancing and the incredible sex. You don’t even look tired. But, I do know that you don’t sleep so much when you have something on your mind…” 

“Even, is this one of those things where you already know but you’re going to make me say it?” 

“This time I’m kind of baffled, unless it’s about the tattoos?” Even asked, reaching down and gently taking Isak’s left hand. It was wrapped up for the night so it wasn’t like Even could see it, but he supposed it was the gesture that counted. “We can still wear our rings over top or on the other hand. Or we could melt them and somehow get them incorporated in our necklaces or something.” 

“It’s not the tattoos, babe,” Isak told him, moving closer to him and slinging his legs up over Even’s lap. “I’m just, I feel...so high right now. Or, I don’t know how to describe it. I thought it was an adrenaline rush but now I’m getting worried about it.” 

“What’s there to be worried about?” 

“I don’t know, I know I’m like, older and it’s less likely,” Isak shrugged a little and looked at the ground. “But I think it started late for my Mom, too. What if I’m like, schizophrenic or something and this is some sort of episode?” 

“Isak, this is your major, you _know_ you’re not schizophrenic,” Even sighed a little and shook his head before pulling Isak into his chest. “Have you talked at all to your therapist about this anxiety you’ve been having lately? That’s what _I’m_ worried about.” 

“I have talked to him about it,” Isak shrugged a little. It was true, he got weird anxieties over random things more often in the past few months. He’d even had an anxiety attack or two that he couldn’t really explain. So, he talked to his therapist about it. He prescribed medication, and Isak had yet to fill it. And, he knew that the chances were that it would make him feel better, but he also knew full well the bad things that could happen, too, and well, that was anxiety-making in itself. “We’ve been talking about it. A little.” 

“I haven’t noticed any new medications,” Even pressed, pulling Isak down onto the bed with him. 

“Not yet, he said if it gets worse,” Isak lied, thankful for his position and inability to look Even in the eye. “You of all people know that we don’t want to rely on medication unless we have to.” 

“And I got crazy enough that relying on medication is my only option,” Even said. 

“Not crazy, never crazy,” Isak sighed, moving to slowly kiss around Even’s neck. “So, would me taking anxiety medication make you feel less crazy then? Is that what you’re implying? Because I’ll do anything to make you feel less alone, baby.” 

“Fuck, I love you,” Even groaned and then moved his body closer to Isak’s. “Okay, i think I could go for another round if you ride. Got enough energy?” 

“Yes, hell yes,” Isak laughed a little and moved to press Even to the bed, straddling his waist. “All you have to do is sit back and relax, I’ll handle the rest.” 

 

_Monday, April 15_

As Terje had promised, Lisa did follow up with Isak to make plans for them to come over for dinner. He was mostly going for Milo. He loved that he had a brother, and he felt a little protective of him, and actually of Lisa too. He knew the damage Terje could cause, so he felt responsible to make sure it didn’t happen to them. Which meant the two of them would go, pretend like everything was normal, like Terje hadn’t totally and completely ruined the last shred of feeling Isak had toward the man. 

Dinner nights with them were always a rollercoaster, anyway. A lot of good and a hell of a lot more bad. They were working their way up the first hill when Terje and Lisa were trying to get Milo to eat his vegetables. They weren’t having much luck, which wasn’t a shock to Isak, who knew a thing or two about some of the more effective—and maybe just a tad psychologically tricky—methods they could use. Not that he’d tell them. 

“Actually, you know what, I actually heard that brussel sprouts make you gay,” Even said to the side of Isak, making Terje and Lisa’s eyes both widen as their heads turned toward him. 

“Even!” Terje said, loudly his face turning red. 

“Brussel sprouts make you gay,” Milo repeated, breaking out into giggling laughter and then picking up his fork and shoving one into his mouth and going on to speak with his mouth full. “Good one, Even.” 

“Milo, don’t talk with your mouth full, you’ll choke,” Lisa said, putting a hand on her son’s still-shaking-with-laughter shoulders. Even and Isak were suppressing their own giggles at his reaction. The kid was young, but he had a great sense of humor. Isak was pretty sure that was one hundred percent his and Even’s doing. Seeing as Lisa and Terje lacked majorly in that area. “But see, brussel sprouts aren’t so bad. Even and Isak eat them too.” 

“But they don’t turn your gay,” Terje said, his face dimming from red to pink, almost back to normal as he turned back to Even, “I just don’t understand why you would say that.” 

“It got him to eat it,” Isak defended. It wasn’t really the direction he would have gone in, and he was pretty sure Even hadn’t expected it to make him eat it but more piss off Terje, but it still worked better than Lisa and Terje playing some sort of good-cop, bad-cop over it. “But it was a joke, Terje. Relax. He knows brussel sprouts don’t make you gay. Want to know why? Wait, wait, actually, Milo, want to tell Dad why you know that brussel sprouts don’t make you gay?” 

“People are born gay, you either are or you aren’t, nothing and no one can make you gay,” Milo repeated what Isak had said to him awhile back almost word-for-word. He used the simplest words he could and Milo seemed to understand, because he didn’t have anymore questions. Isak didn’t think Milo thought twice about it, let alone remembered Isak’s words almost verbatim. He’d have to remember that once he got to an age where it felt safe to tell him about the fluidity of sexuality. But, it made Isak proud, so he gave Milo a high five across the table for it. 

“Isn’t it funny how he gets it and you’re supposed to be wiser because you’re like a hundred years older and you still can’t figure it out? Like it’s some sort of riddle,” Isak shook his head, looking at Terje. He felt nothing for the man, really, but it didn’t stop him from wanting to shake the common sense into him. 

“I get it, Isak,” Terje said, picking up his napkin and wiping his mouth, “I thought we were done with all of this. I am very accepting, Isak. I love you and I love Even and obviously that must mean _something_ if I wasn’t accepting, I wouldn’t, but I do. Let it go.” 

“If only it were that easy,” Isak muttered under his breath and then looked back up at his Dad, “Yeah, fine, it’s forgotten. Whatever.” 

Even put a hand on Isak’s thigh and gave it a comforting squeeze, smiling at him for an additional emotional squeeze for comfort. It was times like that that Isak was somehow even more grateful to have Even. To have someone to keep him from losing his grip, to comfort him when he was about to jump out of his chair in rage. He helped with the burdens. 

~

The worst part about dinners at his Dad’s was after Milo went to bed. Terje somehow became _more_ stiff, and _more_ serious than usual. As if it was adult time and now he could be his stick-up-the-ass self. It was even worse that Isak couldn’t follow Even to the bathroom, so he’d be left alone with Terje and Lisa at least once in the night. 

It made him feel a little trapped. Isak just felt more vulnerable to Terje without Even around. So, Isak always made sure to lead the conversation when Even was gone. If he let Terje take over, he might trap him into something. 

“Actually Terje, I was wondering if you remember when Mom started showing signs of the schizophrenia?” Isak segwayed from talking about getting his PhD. He could pull off the question as being apart of his studies easily, but he was still curious about it for his own reasons. Though it wasn’t always on his mind, he did tend to have fears that he’d become one of his parents. And, while he would choose to be Marianne over Terje any day, he’d rather just be himself—though genetics might have something else to say about that. 

“The first signs? I don’t know for sure, probably somewhere in her mid twenties,” Terje shrugged a little and picked up his wine glass swooshing the liquid around thoughtfully before taking a sip and looking back at Isak. “They say there were probably signs before that but sometimes those things start so subtly that you can hardly tell.” 

“Oh yeah, sure,” Isak said, trying to keep himself from rolling his eyes by taking a sip of his own wine. He knew it was more like Terje didn’t _want_ to see the signs. Which was normally the case for most people whose loved ones develop illnesses like that, but Isak knew the minute he said anything about that to him, he’d go on the defensive and it’d be a whole new conversation that Isak didn’t want to get into. “So then, maybe even earlier than her mid twenties. Okay.” 

“Maybe, yeah,” Terje said and then eyed Isak. “Why? What is this about? Even? You know, I suspected something might have been up with him. Are things getting worse?” 

“What? Nei, this has nothing to do with Even,” Isak said, shaking his head. 

“What has nothing to do with me?” Even asked, walking back into the room and refilling the empty space beside Isak. He wrapped his arm around his shoulders and Isak leaned in, smiling and giving him a quick kiss on the jaw. 

“My studies,” Isak told him, somewhat honestly. It wasn’t like his research projects and classes and residency didn’t cover that material. “Terje just likes to jump to conclusions.” 

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Terje said, setting down his wine glass then putting his hands up in surrender. Lisa reached over and squeezed his thigh, they met eyes and shared a look that made Isak stomach turn in the worst way. He coiled further into Even and braced himself for the worst to come out of his Dad’s mouth. “Listen, boys. I know that I have always been difficult. I know our relationship has always been strained. But, I’m trying. And, I want to prove it to you by helping fund this little excursion you two are planning.” 

“What?” Isak asked, stunned, looking from Terje to Lisa. “You put him up to this?” 

“Now why can’t this be my idea? I want to help my son,” Terje told him. 

“Well, I can’t accept,” Isak said, shaking his head and setting down his glass. “We won’t take your money. We’ll figure it out on our own, thank you.” 

“Isak, wait,” Even said, moving his hand off his shoulder and moving closer to talk quietly to Isak, “Maybe we should talk about this.” 

“Even, I don’t think—” 

“Well, good news is that you don’t have to tell us right now,” Lisa spoke up, smiling and clapping her hands. “Why don’t you two talk and then we reconvene in a week or two?”

“And what are the conditions, anyway?” Isak asked skeptically, still completely shocked by the proposal. It was the last thing he’d ever thought Terje would fund, honestly. So there had to be a condition. There could be no way around that. 

“No conditions, I just want to help,” Terje said with a shrug. “So, just think about it. Seriously.” 

~   
*  
“He’s a guilty asshole and he’s doing this to make himself feel better,” Isak argued. They were parked in the car in front of their house and they’d argued about the topic all the way home and couldn’t even stop long enough to get out of the car. “Money isn’t an apology and he shouldn’t feel better because of it.” 

“I get it,” Even sighed. He truly did get where Isak was coming from, which was why it was that much more frustrating that Isak wasn’t getting where Even was coming from. Things between them were generally mutual and Isak was being too stubborn to do that right then. “He’s an asshole, but he’s never going to actually feel better. So let him keep spending on his guilt. It doesn’t matter that money isn’t a apology. Think of the good things it would bring in this situation.” 

“We can get those good things on our own,” Isak said, still remaining stubbornly on his side of the subject. “I don’t want to depend on him. Or have him hold shit over me for the rest of my life. Fuck that. We’ve done this before and last time, we took his money. This time, I don’t want to. I don’t want to need him for anything, Even. Not even for something as stupid as money.” 

“You’re not going to budge on this? Not at all?” Even sighed, officially giving up. He did get it, so he guessed that if Isak didn’t see the perks from his angle, then maybe they just weren’t as good as the bad was bad to him. And, he could fight, but he’d rather just give up and get rid of the annoyance. 

Isak shook his head. 

“Fine,” Even shrugged and then got out of the car, closing the door and walking up to their door. He heard Isak get out behind him, the door closing and his footsteps coming to the door as Even opened it up and made his way inside. Even needed a shower to calm down. He wasn’t really sure how to make Isak understand and it was frustrating. Isak was going to be busy a lot of the time out there, and if they needed more money and he had to get a job on top of that, Even would never see him. They could pay their parents back, eventually, once Isak was out of school and landed a decent job, so he didn’t see the problem with borrowing. But Isak wouldn’t listen. Like he didn’t care about spending time with Even. “I’m going to shower.” 

“Can I join you?” 

“I’d rather be alone,” Even said, walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. He immediately started taking off his shirt but Isak was opening the door back up almost as soon as it closed.

“Are you seriously giving me the cold shoulder over this?” Isak asked angrily, slamming the door behind him and looking at Even. “Do you seriously think that me not wanting to be a slave to the man who abandoned me is good enough reason for you to be pissed at me? I sure as hell don’t.” 

“Oh, yeah, it’s fine Isak,” Even rolled his eyes, “Because what’s he’s offering is for us to have a good time. This is going to be our last big vacation until our child is old enough to have fun on trips. But we’re going to spend it working. I’ll probably have multiple jobs and you’ll have all your work plus a job to make sure we get our bills paid and we’ll never fucking see each other. He’s offering for this to be an amazing time for us. I know he’s a bad person. I get it. But he really didn’t trap you when we borrowed money the last time. Plus, he doesn’t have any damn power over you.” 

“There are other ways to get the money,” Isak said, still angry but a lot more quietly this time. Not that this was a sign of him budging, but Even hoped it meant he at least hit some sort of chord that would make Isak think about it. 

“ _If_ we can raise it, _if_ you can get grants,” Even told him. “But, this is guaranteed. We don’t even have to not do those things, we can still do them and maybe we’ll get the money and we won’t need him anyway. But, the safety blanket would be nice. Can’t you just think about it instead of being so stubborn?” 

“If I say I’ll think about it, can we stop fighting and take a shower?” Isak asked, moving to lean up against the sink, looking sad and defeated. 

“Are you actually going to think about it or are you just saying that because you hate fighting?” Even asked, knowing truthfully that it was Isak saying he’d think about it, but only giving into the thought of thinking about it because he didn’t like fighting. They always preferred talking it out. 

“I’ll think about it, okay? But if I still think no then it’s going to be a serious no, and there won’t be any changing from there,” Isak said, putting his hand out for a handshake. “Deal?” 

“Fine, it’s a deal but _seriously_ think about it,” Even reached out, shaking his hand and using the grip to pull Isak closer so he could kiss him. He was stubborn, and he probably wouldn’t budge. But, Even loved him and loved that he’d finally at least agreed to the idea of maybe possibly budging. Compromise. Almost.  
*

_Tuesday, April 16_

After work on Tuesday was Isak’s scheduled Skype date with Eskild. He promised him at least an hour so he assumed that it’d go on for at double, if not triple that. So, Even wasn’t going to make dinner, they’d just order later on in the night. He’d just hope that Eskild didn’t notice the little bit of work he’d be doing on his end. 

“Should I stay in the room or will you need to be ranting to Eskild about me?” Even asked as Isak set up his laptop on the coffee table and opened up skype. “I mean, I assume that you’re going to talk to him about Terje’s offer and how I selfishly think you should take it.” 

“I thought we were done fighting about this?” Isak sighed, turning away from his laptop to face Even more straight-on, he was standing up behind the couch, his own laptop in hand. He probably had work to do, too. Generally, they would do their work in the same room. “Yes, I probably will talk to him about the offer. But, just to get his opinion. Probably Eva and Noora’s too because I’m thinking about it like I promised. But I wasn’t going to say anything bad about you. Of course you can stay. Don’t be a jackass.” 

“Yeah, okay, I deserved that,” Even said with a little sigh of a laugh, walking around Isak and sitting down on the couch. He balanced his laptop on the arm rest and turned to Isak. “I’m sorry I said that. Anyway, I’m extremely happy to hear you’re thinking about it.” 

“Of course I am, we made a deal,” Isak told him, still just a little irritated but happy about his apology. “Are you still angry? That, like, I have to think about it?” 

“Nei, I get it, think,” Even said with a genuine smile reaching out and putting a hand on Isak’s thigh. He squeezed it then leaned in and pecked Isak on the lips. “I’m sorry, really. No lingering anger or anything. We’re okay no matter how this goes.” 

“Mm, good, I love you,” Isak smiled back and then leaned in to initiate a kiss of his own, lingering for just a few moments before his skype started ringing. “Now, if you’re going to sit there, try not to be so distracting. To me or Eskild.” 

“That’s impossible,” Even joked as Isak sat forward to answer the call. “All I have to do is blink and you both get turned on.” 

“Both get turned on?” Eskild shouted through the speakers, only picking up the last of Even’s sentence. “Have you guys entered a thrupple without telling me? What the hell, what about me?”

“He was actually talking about you,” Isak said, rolling his eyes and elbowing Even, who was snickering to himself. 

“Oh, well in that case, I will gladly be your third,” Eskild said with a wink. “I’ll fly back tomorrow. But I have demands. I want a ring, too. And this whole child situation…” 

“Haha, yeah right Eskild,” Isak said, shaking his eyes and rolling his eyes once again. “Even and I are purely exclusive to each other and you know that. We even got our rings tattooed on. Look, it’s awesome.”

“I saw and liked the instagram post,” Eskild said, tsking and shaking his head now, “I can’t believe you boys, that’s like a curse on the marriage. You’ll be through in a month.” 

“Again, very funny Eskild,” Isak said, holding back his third eye roll in all of the five minutes they’d been on the line with Eskild. “But let’s talk about other things. You wanted to fill me in on your life, so here I am, and Even will be here but he’ll be doing work so you’ve got all my attention.” 

“Fucking finally, because I really need to show you this wart on my dick—” 

“Eskild!” 

“Kidding!” Eskild said with a laugh, putting his hands in the air to show that there was no funny business going on. “But seriously that hot guy from the other day couldn’t sleep with me because he was getting over some gross STD, but he totally wants to knock boots now that he’s got the clear. And I’m totally like yes, but I’m also like gross… guys don’t usually disclose that stuff so I don’t ever think about it, and now all I’m thinking about his infected dick so how am I supposed to go out with him?”

“Maybe his real dick is better looking than the infected dick your picturing?” Isak offered, scrunching his nose. He was glad he didn’t have to date around to find Even. He couldn’t imagine being out there in the dating world with all of those STDs. “You should just ask for a dick pic. If you like what you see then you can just start thinking about that. But, seriously make sure he has a clean bill of health before you do anything.” 

“Well, duh, I have a beautiful dick so I steer clear of all those gross STDs, trust,” Eskild told him matter-of-factly, reminding Isak how full of himself he was. It was funny because he’d seen most of his friend’s dicks over the year, but never Eskild. Though Eskild had seen his. “You boys really should get a good look at it. It may make you change your mind about the thrupple thing.” 

“We’ll both take a pass, sorry Eskild,” Isak laughed and then picked the laptop up off the table, setting it in his lap to hold it closer and open another browser. “And no, not because we’re afraid of falling in love with your dick or something.” 

“You can tell yourself whatever helps you sleep at night, Isak,” Eskild said with a smirk, adjusting the camera angle on his end. “But, seriously, that’s actually good advice. I’ll ask for a dick pic and decide that way. He’s fucking beautiful, his dick must be beautiful. Though, from experience, I know that’s not always the case.” 

“Well Even’s beautiful and he’s got a beautiful dick, so I mean, it’s probably more true than not,” Isak said. 

“Right back at ya baby,” Even said to the side of him, reaching over and squeezing his thigh before directing his attention back to his own laptop. Isak smiled then leaned over and gave him a quick kiss before getting back to Eskild. 

“Anyway, is this like a _date_ date, or are you just...what did you call it? Knocking boots?” Isak asked, watching Eskild play with his hair, which was standing up on the top of his head. He wondered, like Jonas, if Eskild would ever settle down for real. He was still just way more into hookups. 

“Well, a date with definite sex plans,” Eskild shrugged, “I’d still say more sex than date. But maybe he’ll be a romantic. We’ll see.” 

“You’ll have to tell me about it,” Isak told him and then let it get silent for a beat before moving forward. “What else is going on over there? How’s home? Work?” 

“Work is boring, but the people are great,” Eskild shrugged, “Not really much to tell on that front. Home is good. Noora and Eva were fighting yesterday about Eva’s Mom wanting to come visit. I still have no idea where they landed but a Mom coming sounds like stress. I’ll feel like I’ll have to hide my sex toys and stuff, even though she won’t be in my room and eek.” 

“She’d stay there with you guys?” Isak asked. 

“Yeah, I guess? I mean, I don’t even think she knows Eva and Noora are a thing, so I don’t know how they plan on making that make any sense, but yeah, I don’t know,” Eskild said with another shrug and then looked up past the camera. “Oh, what? She does know? Oh, then it must be Noora’s parents,” Eskild looked back at the screen, “Well she knows, but still, I don’t even know where she’d sleep. I’m not giving up my room and I’m sure she wouldn’t take a cancer patient’s room.” 

“Is Eva in the room there with you or something?” Isak asked, shifting in his seat. 

“Yes, well, she was passing through,” Eskild said, looking up and then back down at the camera, “They’re catching up on one of their shows in their room, but I’m sure they’ll be out in a bit if you wanted to say hi.” 

“Oh, for sure,” Isak nodded, kind of wishing they could skip to that portion of the conversation, “I didn’t know Eva was close to her Mom? Didn’t they have a weird relationship?” 

“Her daughter has cancer, fuck a strained relationship,” Eskild said, being the one to roll his eyes this time. “Jeez, you’re supposed to be smart. Obviously when shit hits the fan, people start to get closer. Tragedy brings people together. It’s sad, but true.” 

“Good things can bring people together, too,” Isak said with a little shrug, not sure what that gave the conversation, but wanted to defend his smartness, somehow. “I don’t know. It doesn’t always. I just didn’t know they were in a better place now, is all. Does Eva have anything to say about it?” 

“Do you want me to get them now? These are not questions for me,” Eskild said, not even waiting for Isak to answer before he got up and walked off camera. Isak could shout for him to stop, tell him he could wait, but he didn’t care enough. He wanted to talk to Noora and Eva anyway. When Eskild came back, Noora and Eva joined him on the couch, both of them taking a seat on either side of him. He put his arms around both their shoulders and they all cuddled in to fit into the camera. 

“You were asking about my Mom?” Eva asked, confused. She was dressed in baggy clothes, sweats that made her look small, but her makeup was done and on point, making up for the smallness by highlighting her cheekbones and giving her face more color, her eyes more liveliness. 

“I thought you didn’t have a great relationship with her?” Isak asked.

“Well, we definitely haven’t always had the greatest relationship, but I wouldn’t say it was the worst,” Eva shrugged and rested her head on Eskild’s shoulder. “She’s been a lot better since my diagnosis, which isn’t much of a shock. But, she’s been helpful so I don’t really have much to judge.” 

“Does she live out there?” 

“Nei, but she sends us money and helps pay for treatments and so at least I know she wants to keep me alive,” Eva said with a little laugh. “The only thing that’s annoying is that she’s weird about me and Noora. Totally accepting, but just _weird_. I don’t know how to explain it, honestly.” 

“Well, I’m glad to hear you have help,” Isak chewed his lip and thought it over for a second. “Do you feel guilty at all that she’s giving you money? Do you think you owe her because she’s helping?” 

“Well, it’s either she helps or I definitely die, so I guess I’m just grateful for that,” Eva said rocking her head slightly on Eskild’s shoulder as she thought for a few moments. “I don’t think I could feel guilty about that. She’s my Mom, so she’s kind of supposed to help, I feel. It’s what parents should do. They brought us into this shitty world, they could at least lighten the load a little.” 

“I like the way you think, Eva,” Even said to the side of him and Isak pulled back the laptop more so he could get him in the fram too. “You definitely don’t owe her shit for her help. It was high time she finally helped. Right?”

“Exactly,” Eva said, lifting her head and then squinting her eyes at the camera, “Why do I feel like I just won some sort of argument between you two for Even? You just look so smug.” 

“It’s a totally different situation, but I’m sure he does feel like he’s won,” Isak shook his head and looked over at Even, who did, indeed look smug then back at the camera. “My Dad is offering to help us pay for the surrogacy, for our time in the States, and all that stuff. I say no but Even says that we should take it because Terje owes me for being a shitty Dad. But we’ve taken money before and I don’t think I want to again. I don’t want to owe him or have him have anything to hold over me. I don’t know.” 

“It doesn’t sound like a _totally_ different situation,” Eskild offered, putting his hands in front of him, palm up and pretending to weigh them out. “Shitty parent helping their child with medical expenses and shittier parent helping their child with medical expenses.” 

“Okay but Eva’s medical expenses are necessary for survival,” Isak upped, sitting up defensively, “making this a totally different situation.”

“I see where Isak is coming from” Noora said, finally putting someone on Isak’s side. She looked from Eskild and Eva to the screen. “I think if I were in your shoes, I’d tell my parents no, too. I wouldn’t want that on my hands, either.” 

“Okay, but like, it’ll be totally better for them if he helps so it’s like, still easing the burden of life shit that Eva was talking about,” Eskild said, moving his head back and for, actively thinking as he talked. “And then they’ll totally be returning the favor to their own child by showering it with love and easing it’s life burdens.” 

“Oh, yeah, like it totally makes sense in the grand scheme of things,” Eva said, “And don’t you have that like, small child brother too? Milo? Don’t you help with him? You’re already returning the favor.” 

“Still, that doesn’t mean anything,” Noora said, “Accepting something from someone who abandoned you is definitely risky. Any sort of interaction with them is risky, and accepting money takes it to a new level.”

“Isak’s Dad is a little bit more stable now,” Even said, defending his side. Isak wondered if he was getting any work done or just focusing in on Isak’s conversation. “He’s still awful and he still totally abandoned him, but he’s been around, or reachable, at least.” 

“Talk about meeting the bare minimum,” Noora said with a snort. 

“He barely even accepts us and he wants to help fund this? It doesn’t add up,” Isak said, shaking his head. He felt like he and Noora were making pretty good arguments for their side. He was pretty much winning in his own mind. “When we told him about it, he basically lost his mind because a kid needs a Mom and a Dad or whatever. Which just makes me laugh because he left me with an unstable Mother who could barely be a mother so I had neither. Until I had Even’s parents. I don’t get why he wants to keep me around, it doesn’t make sense to me. It’s gotta be a trap.” 

“His Dad has been throwing money at the problem ever since he left, he’s never going to stop being an asshole and so he’s never going to stop feeling guilty, so we might as well continue to let him feel a little better about himself in the meantime by throwing money at it,” Even rebutled, setting his laptop off to the side to officially throw himself into the conversation. “He can afford it so why the hell not?” 

“Yeah, Isak, think of it as a settlement for all your pain and suffering,” Eva said, sitting forward and resting her elbows on her thighs. “He abandoned you and made you hurt and it fucked you up so now you probably let Even smack you around or whatever in bed, so now he gets to pay for fucking you up.” 

“It’s not like what you guys are saying doesn’t make sense, because it does,” Isak offered and shrugged a little, letting a moment pass while he thought and completely ignoring the comment about his sex life. “But it doesn’t feel safe and I seriously don’t like that.” 

“Sounds like you’re going to have to talk to him about it more, then,” Eva said with a shrug of her own. “I’m sure you don’t trust him but he’s gotta have some sort of tell, so figure it out and have a sit down with him before accepting or denying. Figure out the real reason for this if you think there is some ulterior motive that’s going to trap you.” 

 

_Friday, April 19_

Jonas was driving Isak to meet Even at work again. This time it was just to surprise him. Isak slipped Jonas some cash for the gas and he was all over it. Isak was pretty sure that Jonas was just always looking for someone to hang out with when Sonja wasn’t around. Isak actually suspected that Jonas not wanting to be alone was the reason behind all of his extracurricular activities. 

“I can’t believe you guys are actually going to meet up with them,” Jonas said as he drove, turning the radio down once Isak told him about his and Even’s lunch date with Mikael and The Fiance. “I can’t believe Mikael is engaged. I bet the minute he sees Even, he breaks up with her.” 

“We both know that’s not going to happen,” Isak said with a little laugh and a suspicious side glance at Jonas. He was definitely jealous on some level. “When Even called him, I talked to him a little bit too and he sounds seriously happy, Jonas. Things are different. Well, for me and Even and him. Not for you because you’re obviously still hung up. It’s been years, _Jonas_. You broke up with him and there’s no going back. The good news is you have a seriously hot blonde who loves you for real now.” 

“Did _you_ just call Sonja a _seriously_ hot blonde?” Jonas laughed, shaking his head and going silent for a few minutes. He gripped the steering wheel, looking at the road and let out a sigh. “It’s just that Mikael and I never had a chance. He was completely obsessed with Even the entire time we were a thing and I was being...emotionally distant. Now we’re never getting a chance.” 

Jonas had told Isak sometime around graduation about this girl he had a serious relationship with for a little over a year before he moved to Oslo. They had dated and fallen in young-love and Jonas was attached. Then he had a sexual awakening when the two of them tried MDMA at a party that led to a threesome with some other guy. After that, he still loved the girl but he snuck around with the guy on the side. Then the one guy became two, or there’d be another girl at a bar he would sneak away with until he got caught. When he did, the break up was terrible, and Jonas knew it was his fault but he didn’t understand it because he loved her. 

He didn’t think he could control himself and that led him to not letting people in fully anymore, hence his attitude since he’d showed up at Nissen. It had explained a lot of his behaviour, making a little more sense of when he wanted to fight Even for Isak, Even though he never wanted Isak in the first place. It made sense of a lot of things, and Isak thought he had some real shit to work out and offered therapy, but Jonas was never going to be that person. He’d rather go slowly insane than work out his emotions with some stranger. 

“Do you realize that that is what’s happened with everyone you’ve been with in one way or another?” Isak asked, turning in his seat and trying to act relaxed, not like he was about to go into full therapy-session with Jonas. “I mean the only person you ever gave yourself to fully and actually gave a chance was that girl before you moved here, and then you suddenly stopped giving yourself fully and giving that chance.”

“You’re psychoanalyzing me,” Jonas said flatly, stopping at a light and turning to him. “I know, Isak. But this is who I am. I mean, there are people who are polyamorous. Dudes who have like multiple chicks that they make dress up and do freaky and cool stuff with or people who get married but have hookups on the side because you can love someone but never be sexually satisfied from one person.” 

“Yeah, but Jonas, you feel guilty, you feel like you’re missing out on things while you’re doing this polyamorous thing,” Isak told him with a sigh, “I won’t psychoanalyze you, I’m just saying, maybe go back to giving your everything to one person and see how that makes you feel. Sonja would be a great candidate, you already love each other. And then I’d be less worried about you trying to destroy Mikael’s wedding while I’m gone.” 

“I won’t be doing that,” Jonas said with an eye roll, continuing to drive as the light turned green. They were almost at Even’s work and they only had a few minutes until he got out, so Isak knew Jonas was bringing the conversation to an end before he could get anything good out of his end. “I’ll think about it. But it’s been unleashed. There’s no going back.” 

“Well, I mean, you did start opening up your heart, because you don’t deny that you love Sonja, so maybe there is going back,” Isak said, giving his last bullet point he could manage as they pulled up in front of Even’s work. The car came to a stop and he opened the door before Jonas could say anything else. “Thanks for the ride. Seriously, give it a try.” 

He closed the door and walked into the building. Even wasn’t in sight so he took the elevator to the second floor, where he knew his office was. He walked down the hall and knocked on the door. He heard Even ask him to come in from the other side so he opened it up and walked in. Even was in there with one of his coworkers—luckily not the one from last time—and they had obviously been talking some sort of business. 

“Baby,” Even greeted him with a smile, jumping up from his seat as soon as he saw him. He walked over to him and pecked him on the lips before wrapping his arm around him and turning back to his coworker. “Julien, have you met my husband, Isak?”

“I think we have met, briefly, anyway,” Julien said with a smile, standing up and offering a handshake to Isak. He shook his hand and nodded at him. “Congratulations on the addition to the family. How incredibly exciting for the two of you. We sure will miss Even around the office, though.” 

“Oh, thank you,” Isak said, shocked. He didn’t think Even was telling anyone in the office about it until he quit. Even squeezed his side and Isak replaced the shock on his face with a smile, “We’re very excited.” 

“Well, anyway, I should let Even go, we can finish our discussion later,” Julien said, patting Even on the shoulder and then walking past the two of them to get to the door. “Nice seeing you, Isak.” 

“You too,” Isak said, watching the door close behind him and then turning to Even. He shook from his grip and put his hands on his own hips, “I thought you weren’t telling anyone in the office because you were quitting?” 

“I didn’t mean to tell them,” Even said with a sigh, reaching out and taking Isak’s hands from his hips and taking them in his own. He swung their hands and stepped closer, looking down at Isak with sorry eyes. “I just found this baby name generator and they caught me and I just couldn’t help myself. I’m just so excited.” 

“This doesn’t mean you’re working here when we get back, right?” Isak asked, worried. He hated Even in this environment, with shitty coworkers and homophobia. He knew Even hated working there too. It wasn’t what he wanted so Isak didn’t want him to go back. He wanted something better for him. 

“Consider it my fallback if I don’t find anything better,” Even said with a little shrug and then leaned down, nuzzling his nose against Isak’s. “The plan still stays the same. Okay?” 

“Yeah, okay,” Isak relaxed and fell into Even's chest wrapping his arms around his neck. 

“You're so ready to fight, lately,” Even said with a little chuckle, pulling back and combing Isak's hair out of his face. “Any reason for that? Is it about Mikael? We can always cancel.” 

“Nei, I'm sorry,” Isak said, standing up on his tip toes and pecking Even on the lips twice. “I guess I'm a little stressed. I wish we could just pause for a moment. I need a moment with you.” 

“We've got right now, did you want to talk?” 

“No, I want to hold you and just worry about you in my arms,” Isak said with a sigh, knowing they were alone in Even's office for this moment but it wasn't enough. They had to leave and get ready and go out for the night with some of their friends, so it wasn't like the moment was unburdened. He was thinking about what was next. 

“I love you, Isak,” Even said with a little chuckle, pulling Isak in so their chests were touching. He pressed his forehead against his. “Want to stay in for the night? I'd much rather spend it holding you than watching our friends try to hook up with bar randoms all night.”

“We already promised them, but I will take you up on a night in, no work or burdens, sometime very soon,” Isak said quietly, holding himself close in their embrace. 

 

_Saturday, April 20_

They met Mikael and The Fiance at lunch that Saturday. Mikael greeted both of them with hugs before introducing her to the two of them. Her name was Ebba, she was Swedish, and she gave them both two kisses on the cheeks, telling them she’d heard so much about them as they sat down. It was interesting because Mikael and Even hadn’t really talked since the wedding, they had drifted. What was there to tell her about?

“Well, to be honest, it’s my fault,” Ebba said when Isak asked. It was probably rude and curt, but as soon as he heard Mikael had been talking about them, he needed to know what was said. “You always wonder about someone’s first love. And, with Mikael being such an open book, all I had to do was ask and all the walls came down. Beautifully. I’m just glad to meet you, both of you.” 

“She’s definitely been asking for me to reach out,” Mikael said with a shrug. “And, I’ve wanted to. It’s just that I know I’ve messed up when it comes to the two of you, and I never wanted to overstep. So I’m glad you contacted me.” 

“Hey, it’s cool. It’s the past,” Even said with a shrug, sipping the water the waiter brought around as they waited for their food to arrive. “You’ve got Ebba now and you guys seem happy. So, that’s great.” 

“Still, I have to say I’m sorry,” Mikael said with a sigh and Isak watched as Ebba moved closer, hovering protectively as he spoke so vulnerably. “I was always just jealous and that’s no excuse. But, I totally understand if you guys want to ruin my wedding.” 

“When is it?” Even asked. 

“Next March,” Mikael said, picking up Ebba’s ring hand and kissing it a few times. She smiled at him and Isak could tell by the way their eyes met that this was the love that Mikael was searching for. He and Even talked about it a lot because Even was guilty. He had always felt guilty that he had Isak and Mikael had no one. Especially because Mikael wasn’t someone who wanted to be alone and Even had left him that way. 

And although Ebba looked alarmingly like a female Even, Isak was glad another domino that had once been a burden on their relationship was finally falling. Mikael was soon to be out of the picture with someone else. He couldn’t come back and try to win Even back. This was it. 

“We’ll have to see if we can fly back for it, but no promises,” Even said, taking Isak’s hand under the table and lacing their fingers together. Isak smiled, feeling the news coming on. “We’ll be in the states because we’re planning on having a baby.” 

“A _baby?_ ” Mikael said, lighting up and almost popping up out of the seat entirely. “Like seriously? In the States? Oh my God, how? Is there like a pregnant girl out there going to have your baby?” 

“We’re doing surrogacy, using our own sperm, so we’re going to do it out there and have like, our last adventure in the meantime,” Even said happily, his thumb rubbing the back of Isak’s hand as he talked. And, Isak felt himself doing the same as Ebba, moving closer to Even to comfort him while he talked about it. “But we’d still love to come. At least send us the registry and we’ll get you something.” 

“If you insist!” Ebba said, moving her hair behind her shoulder then looking back up at them. “When do you guys leave? We’re moving here in just a couple weeks. Will you two still be around?” 

“Yeah, yeah, we only just applied for our visas with our lawyer like two weeks ago, and that’ll take up to sixty days to get a court case to get them,” Even said with a shrug, unlacing his hand from Isak’s and taking their new proximity as an opportunity to wrap his arm around his shoulders. “We do want to be out of here by the end of June though. Mid June is the goal and our lawyer thinks it’s all completely feasible.” 

“Well, let's make sure to spend lots of time together before that,” Ebba said, looking at Mikael until he nodded and verbally agreed. They kissed and then she turned back to them. “I’m sorry, I don’t think we ever left our honeymoon stage, sorry if we’re annoying.” 

“Oh, don’t worry, we can be just as annoyingly cute,” Isak said, kind of feeling like he needed to defend the two of them as cutest couple in the history of ever. He nuzzled his nose into Even’s cheek then gave it a kiss before turning back to them. “So, we’re sorry in advance for that.” 

“Oh yeah, these two are ridiculous on that PDA,” Mikael said with a laugh, shaking his head. Even laughed too and then Mikael shrugged. “Or you were when I left. Definitely part of the reason I left. I mean, you’re cute and you were so happy and it sucked to see, honestly. But now that I’m happy and totally over all of that, I promise not to complain.”

“Thank god because we’re still too in love for our own good,” Even said, smiling down at Isak, making him melt into his body. He reached up and gave him a kiss for a few moments before Even was pulling away. “So, sorry, like Isak said.” 

~

“She was totally trying to one-up us,” Even said laughing, they were cuddled up on the couch at the end of the night. They had actually spent a lot of the day hanging out with Mikael and Ebba, even though she grew more and more annoying as the day went on. Even said that he was happy for Mikael regardless, and that her being so annoying ‘probably fit.’ So now they were de-stressing by gossiping alone in their apartment until Sonja and Jonas eventually came over to hang out for the night.

“She’s totally jealous of Mikael’s obsession with you,” Isak said, it was the first good excuse that he thought of for the way Ebba had presented herself and them as a couple to Even and Isak. It was off-putting. He had almost instantly felt like she was making it a competition, but it went on as the day went on. Isak noticed things. Even would do something, like wrap his arm around Isak, and then she’d nuzzle up into Mikael’s chest. Isak would offer some of his food to Even and she’d feed Mikael some of hers, using a baby voice the entire time. The list went on. Some more subtle, some way more obvious than Isak would like. “Maybe she’s less one-upping us and more trying to show that Mikael is better with her, that now he’s obsessed with her. She’s one-upping the obsession.” 

“ _Former_ obsession,” Even corrected with another little chuckle. He scooped his arms up underneath Isak’s thighs, pulling his legs up over his own. Isak squirmed to get comfortable in the new position as Even went on. “In any case, I am way more obsessed with you than any obsession either of them have ever had. I could sketch your entire body by memory. Every scar, beauty mark, mole, crease. I’ve studied it so much that it’s basically a second nature. And, I like watching you do things even when you don’t know I’m watching. I also get videos without your permission all the time because I like having them to look at when I’m not with you. I think about you all the time and if there was a way to glue myself to you, I would. Like, this is borderline Dahmer obsession. Maybe you should be scared.” 

“Dahmer, huh? So I guess eating my ass _was_ only the beginning,” He teased, letting out a little chuckle and leaning in to kiss around his neck. 

“Eating your ass is about to be the beginning,” Even said playfully, laughing too as he pulled Isak back and then pushed him back onto the couch to accent his proclamation.

“That’s fine, but if we don’t lock the door, Jonas and Sonja _will_ sense it and walk in on us and try to join or something, so go lock it,” Isak said, pushing Even’s face away with his hand and sitting back up. Even sighed but got up anyway, leaving the room to go lock the door. Isak watched him leave then stripped down and laid on his stomach on the couch and waited for Even to return.

 

_Monday, April 22_

Mats had had a date with the bartender, Anita, on Sunday evening, so when Isak and him got to talk at lunch the next day, he wanted to hear all about it. He was excited for Mats to find someone, to see him be happy. Maybe it did have something to do with the feelings he once had, but it was evolved and had _nothing_ to do with those _actual, initial_ feelings. So, it was fine. Besides, he’d totally love to double date with Mats, and show Even how evolved those feelings truly were.

“So, how’d it go?” Isak pressed, taking a seat across from Mats in the break room. He was heating up some of Even’s leftovers in the microwave and Mats had a sandwich.

“It was great, actually, good eye man,” Mats said, shaking his head and taking another bite of his sandwich, he waited to swallow then continued talking. “She’s cute, smart, funny and she laughs at my jokes so she’s definitely into me. We’ve got date two scheduled, too. So, I mean _technically_ we’re officially dating.”

“Good, that’s so awesome, Mats,” Isak said happily, the microwave timer going off so he got up and walked over, taking out his food and walking back over to Mats. “If you start dating, that’ll be great for me.”

“For you?”

“Did I say for me?” Isak asked, feeling a little bit of hotness in his cheeks as he took a bite of his leftovers. He definitely didn’t mean to say that. Well, if he thought about it on a psychological standpoint, he probably did mean to. Subconsciously, he probably wanted Mats to know. Just to get it off his chest. Probably. “I didn’t mean… nah, fuck it. I’m going to tell you something straight-up.”

“That this is all a part of some diabolical scheme and you’re out to destroy me?” Mats joked, raising an eyebrow and taking another bite of his sandwich. Isak pushed his own food around now, his stomach starting to turn because he didn’t need to tell anybody how he had felt since Even and even though he wasn’t into Mats anymore, the fear of being rejected was definitely palpable.

“Actually Mats, when we started this program and started hanging out, you kind of caused trouble for me and Even,” Isak said, leading himself into the confession, telling himself over and over that Mats was a good guy, that he could handle a crush that took place in the _past_. He wasn’t going to be weirded out and stop hanging out with Isak. He was a good guy. It’d be fine. “And, it wasn’t your fault or anything. It was actually all me.”

“Wait, did Even have a crush on me?” Mats asked, almost excitedly, sitting up in his seat and raising both eyebrows at Isak. “Oh man, I knew I was attractive but I’d never think I’d get someone like _Even_.”

“Hey, back off,” Isak said, trying to add his own little punch of a joke in there before he started rambling, because he knew he was going to. He gotten a little better at it over the years, but it still got him sometimes. “Even’s off limits and way too attractive for you. But, uh, actually it was me. I had the crush. And It was like, no big deal, you were just new and cute and exciting. I got over it quick but not before Even found out. So, like it’s nothing now. But if you had a girlfriend, then it would also be nothing to Even. Maybe.”

“Isak, relax, you had a crush on me, it’s flattering,” Mats said coolly, moving his chair around the table so he could get closer to Isak. He put a comforting hand on his shoulder and leaned in a little to make eye contact. A psychology trick to get someone to trust you. “Sorry, I mean that It messed things up for you guys. And for the record, you’re way out of my league anyway.”

“I totally am,” Isak said, actually feeling weird by Mats’ proximity. He knew it was a psychology trick, and he knew it was just trying to make sure Isak wasn’t doing any anxious spiraling, and it was nice. But it was Even’s job and even though it meant nothing, it still felt wrong. So Isak turned in his chair, scooting back just a little to face Mats but make at least a little more distance. “I’m not sure how Even is going to feel about me telling you.”

“I mean, isn’t it better that I know? I don’t know if you know this but I say inappropriate things all the time and now I know there’s a good subject to avoid,” Mats shrugged and then moved away a little more, reaching across the table for his sandwich. He took a bite and kept talking with his mouth full this time, making Isak wonder how he ever like him in the first place. “Besides, this was like back in the day, yeah? And now you’re married and you are like the cutest couple I know. It shouldn’t be a big deal. Should I talk to him about it?”

“ _Nei,_ do _not_ do that,” Isak said, picking up his water and taking a sip. “I’ll handle it, it’ll be fine.”

“Honestly, I don’t see this being so huge that your marriage implodes or something,” Mats said, knocking on the table, “Not to jinx it. But, honestly the worst I see happening is a fight followed by makeup sex, so I mean, it could be worse.”

“The goal will be to skip the fight and go straight to sex,” Isak said, shaking his head and pushing around his food some more. “We’ve actually been fighting more often lately and I thought I was the only one who noticed it but then he said something about me wanting to fight all the time and now I just really don’t want to start another one.”

“Trouble in paradise happens, man,” Mats said, patting Isak’s shoulder and letting it linger there again. “You guys are making changes, things are probably pretty stressful because of that, fighting is obviously inevitable. You’ll figure it out, I promise. But if you need me in a totally platonic, shoulder-to-cry-on way, then I’m here. But you won’t so that doesn’t even matter.”

“I know it’s not going to matter,” Isak nodded little and looked down at the food Even had made for him. “But I’ve got to find a good way to tell him without him jumping to conclusions. Saying ‘hey Even, I told Mats about the crush,’ out of nowhere is literally going to make the entire world combust.”

“Want to brainstorm?”

“Nei, I’ll figure it out,” Isak said, nodding his head again, trying to convince himself he could manage it. “So tell me more about Anita and the date.”

 

_Wednesday, April 24_  
*  
“You keep checking your phone,” Even pointed out after the sixth time Isak flipped his phone over and unlocked it with his fingerprint. Even was supposed to be finishing editing something for work and Isak was supposed to be doing some research for one of his assessments. But Even was distracted watching Isak, and Isak was doing a lot of thinking and a lot of checking his phone which was probably more related to the thinking than his research was. “Who are you waiting on?”

“Oh, I think Mats would know the answer to this question I’ve got,” Isak said with a shrug, reaching out and setting his laptop on the coffee table. They were both on the couch, Isak on the far right side and Even on the other, sitting sideways with his legs bent in front of him, feet touching Isak’s thigh on the other side. He picked them up and put them in his lap, starting to rub them. “But, while I’m waiting, I we should...no, that sounds scary. I mean, can we have...nope, I have to just say it. I’ll just say it. I told Mats about the crush.”

“You told...Mats,” Even said slowly, blinking his eyes and looking at Isak. He was trying to remain calm, taking a deep breath the way he was supposed to when he felt the way he did. He had to relax and...right now he had to ask questions. “Okay, why did you tell Mats?” 

“Why?” Isak questioned at first, not really the best first response, but Even held on, took a breath and waited, “I don’t know, it just came out. I thought maybe there was some sort of subconscious thing but, I’ve honestly thought a lot about it and I can’t find anything logical. I don’t like him, Even, not at all. So it has literally nothing to do about that. Maybe I just wanted to get it off my chest.” 

“Okay,” Even said with a little nod, trying to keep his thoughts in order. Isak was telling the truth. He could tell when he was lying and he just was not. So if it was about feelings, they were subconscious, _if_ there was feelings to be had. “When did you tell him? Is that what you texted him?” 

“Okay, well, if you’re not mad about that, you’ll probably be mad about this,” Isak sighed, his hands still moving over Even’s feet, bribing him with the good feelings from the massage. “I actually told him on Monday. I didn’t mean to wait to tell you though. I just kept forgetting, or when I’d remember, I couldn’t manage to actually tell you because I was afraid we’d fight. I don’t want to fight. Especially not over this because this is stupid. But you’re acting seriously calm and I’m feeling so stupid about it.” 

“No, it’s okay, all past experiences point to me freaking out,” Even said, nodding and moving his feet off Isak’s lap so he could move closer to him. He crawled across the couch and sat across his lap. “I admit, Mats puts me on edge. But, maybe it’s better that he knows. What did he say?” 

“He’s flattered, obviously very straight, and he doesn’t want to be the reason we’re fighting,” Isak said, wrapping his arms around Even’s waist while Even wrapped his own around Isak’s neck. “Aka, even if I did somehow manage to pry myself away from you and still survive, he still wouldn’t be an option. Nei, if we were the last two people on earth and I could get him pregnant and repopulate, the human race would surely end with us.”

“That kind of sounds like exactly what he’d say,” Even said as a little joke, nudging his nose into Isaks cheek then resting his forehead on the side of his head, right above his ear. “I’m sorry you were afraid to tell me. You shouldn’t be afraid to tell me anything. I don’t want to fight either but if we stop communicating, then who knows what’ll happen.” 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Isak said quietly, moving his head away from Even’s just so he could move it back, pressing his forehead against Even’s now. 

“I’m sorry, too,” Even sighed and nuzzled their noses together. “Not just because I got or get jealous over Mats. But, because I might always need a little reassuring. I know we’ve talked about it before and that you never felt the need to be with anyone else and I believe you. But, I just worry that maybe someday you’ll start to wonder what it might be like with someone else. So just..reassure me.” 

“Even,” Isak said, moving his hand up to his jaw, holding his face in place moving their faces even closer until there was just a little bit of air between their lips. “I don’t want _anyone_ else but you, because you are everything I’ll ever need. I feel one hundred percent satisfied with _you_.” 

Even made a barely audible gasp as Isak closed the distance with a passionate leap, their lips slowly moving overlapping and moving together. Even slide his hand up into the hair on the back of his head and pulled his head in even closer, giving their lips more pressure and their tongue more force as they explored each other’s mouths. Even loved the way Isak tasted, his mouth and his entire body. He could—and definitely had—spend the time licking and sucking away at every spot on his body or he could just kiss him forever. 

They kissed like that for a while before they were tugging on each other’s clothes and relocating to the floor. The couch had been a viable option, but they’d had enough sex on it recently to know that they were going to want more space this time around. So Isak pulled Even down onto the floor and spread his legs, being dominant and taking control in a way that Even loved to see. He preferred to be the dominant one, like, even when he bottomed, he liked to take control, tying Isak up or just riding him at his own pace. But the thing about Isak being dominant was that it was just beautiful. He loved seeing him like this, so in control, confident, and sexy, he’d bend to anything he had to say. 

So, he opened Even up, his fingers relentlessly taunting as they moved, making Even squirm and whimper in ways that only ever had with Isak. When he was finally hitching up Even’s legs, moving to his knees and lining himself up, Even was begging for it, panting with the need of it, his cock throbbing with the tension. And Isak obliged so graciously, pushing himself right inside taking only a couple short moments to bottom out. 

“Fuck, Isak!” Even moaned out, almost feeling like the wind got knocked out of him stars surrounding his vision. Isak pulled Even’s legs up so his ankles were crossed over Isak’s right shoulder. He held them and slow started moving his hips, letting out a few beautiful moans of his own while he found his rhythm. 

With each thrust, the two of them inched up on the rug slightly, so Even reached underneath himself and gripped on, trying to stay in place. Isak kept moving his hips, moving his arms to wrap tight around Even’s knees to hold him ever-closer so the movements were almost unnoticed. If it weren’t for the pleasure, he probably wouldn’t think he was moving at all. But he was deep inside him, pressing against his insides, gliding over his bundle of nerves in the softest way. 

It felt so damn good, but he needed more. He let it go on, though, until he felt he absolutely couldn’t take anymore, that he needed more movement, more pressure, more pleasure.

“Fuck, baby, more,” he pleaded, gripping even tighter at the rug beneath them. 

“Baby needs more?” Isak said teasingly, stopping his movement completely and moving Even’s legs again. This time, he pushed them both to the ground, still together so that Even was twisted at the waist when Isak resumed thrusting his hips. Isak started moaning out with Even now, always being vocal in bed. “Fuck I love you so damn much.” 

“I love you too, please don’t stop,” Even letting one hand go of the rug and reaching up to touch Isak’s chest. He was probably going to have rug burn but fuck, he didn’t care. The pleasure was completely consuming, Isak’s thrusts growing faster and rugged as he went on. Even tried to help, pressing his hips into the touch, but his position made it difficult for him to do much of any movement, so he just relaxed and enjoyed the ride. 

The little movement Even did was scratching down Isak’s chest, leaving pretty red marks down the pale canvas. They were both moaning out and Even knew it’d go on for while longer, their endurance being basically out of this world, but with the twist in his side he needed to find another position. So he twisted the rest of his body and then Isak helped him, moving them both so Even was on his hands and knees. 

Isak gripped his hips and kept at it, reaching around now and slowly stroking him while their bodies moved together. After awhile, Even’s arms were shaking, his entire body filling up with the pleasure and making him completely weak. So he dropped to his shoulders, pressing his cheek to the rug beneath him while Isak drove the last couple thrusts home, making him spill out onto the carpet. 

He moaned out as he came, his body shuddering on beneath Isak as he finished and them moved to lay on top of him completely. He was kissing the backs of his shoulders and shh’ing him, probably because he could feel the spasms in Even’s muscles as he came down. 

They didn’t ever get back to their work and Even had made Isak forget about whatever text he was waiting for from Mats. 

Oh well.   
*

_Saturday, April 27_

Honestly, it wasn’t the first time Even and Isak got into frequent arguments, and it wouldn’t be the last. So, they both knew that the best thing to do was to start communicating more openly again. They were more busy lately so there was less talking about their days or about their feelings. After Isak had told Even about telling Mats and he _didn’t_ freak out, he felt stupid because he knew he shouldn’t be afraid to talk about anything with Even. That they needed to talk.

So they were to designate the Saturday to catch up on their communication and get the ball rolling to start it back up.

They started with brunch at a fancy (and hipster-y) restaurant that Even had apparently heard about from someone at work. They only served brunch, and there was somehow a line out the door every day. The food was good, but Isak assumed it was because of the atmosphere. Brunch tended to be more cheery and upbeat, but this place was more for people who were still waking up, dimly lit, endless refills on coffee, and all the waitresses talked in hushed tones.

“This seems place kind of seems like it was made for the sole purpose of serving hungover people,” Isak said to Even after a sip of his second cup of coffee. They had honestly spent most of their meal so far enjoying the food and feeding each other instead of actually talking, but now that some of his hunger was satiated, he was ready. “Except I wouldn’t want to wait in that line when I’m hungover.”

“We were like first in line, we barely waited,” Even said in a humored tone, smiling and picking up and eating a piece of bacon.

“Yeah, but if we were hungover, we’d probably show up later,” Isak pointed out, thinking that it was basically impossible to get him out of bed without being hungover. “Good luck waking me up before noon if I’m hungover.”

“You’re cute when you think I don’t have my ways, Baby,” Even said smirking, they were—as per usual—sitting next to each other instead of across from each other, so Even was able to snake his arm around Isak and nuzzled his cheek with his nose. “I’ll always have my ways.”

“A year from now, all you’ll have to do is bring our screaming baby into the room,” Isak said jokingly, turning his head and nuzzling his own nose against Even’s now. And, although it was a joke, it was kind of what Isak wanted to talk about. “Can you believe that?”

“I think that’s pushing it,” Even said with a little laugh, a hand reaching up and pushing some of Isak’s hair out of his face. “I thinking that hopefully, we can have the insemination by August, and hopefully it’s successful then, so maybe April, but more than likely, May or June depending on how long that takes. Which it could be quick, or it could take a while, who knows.”

“But still, we’re looking at flights for the end of June, that’s like, exactly two months, and it’s basically been two months since we made this decision, and the time has just flown by,” Isak said, thinking about the past two months they spent planning and applying and making decisions. They wanted to get all of that done and secured so that they could spend the last month with only the stress of the packing they’d have to do. “It’s going to go by just as fast.”

“Are you afraid?”

“Me, afraid? Look who you’re talking to, Even. I’m so brave I—“

“Hey, I’m a little afraid too,” Even said with a shrug. “You’re right, time is flying and we only have so much time left that’s just for me and you and then we’re going to be in charge of a whole other life. That’s scary, seeing as you’re all I know. So it’s okay, be afraid, I am too. But, I’m also just so excited, Isak. Are you still excited?”

“So excited,” Isak said truthfully, smiling fully at Even and giving him a quick peck on the lips. “Remember the first time we babysat Milo when he was still a baby? I was so nervous and you knew what to do and you did it so well. I’m excited to see you like that again. And this time with your own son or daughter, I might just end up crying every time you two interact.”

“I can totally see you being the sappy dad like that,” Even said with a laugh, his hand still running through Isak’s locks while they talked. “What do you think you want? Like, for real. Boy or girl?”

“ _Even_ ,” Isak said a little sassily, “I’m not choosing. Like, if I say girl and we end up with a boy, I’d feel so bad. Like he was unwanted or something.”

“So a girl, then,” Even smirked, nodding his head while he tangled his fingers in Isak’s hair, gripping it and tilting his head back just a little. “I won’t tell our son you said that.”

“I didn’t say it so if you did, I’d have to tell him that his father is a liar,” Isak said confidently, looking into Even’s eyes now with the slight tilt of his head. His eyes squinting with defiance in a challenging way, which almost immediately elicited a smile from Even followed by a lingering kiss to Isak’s lips. Pulling away and leaving just a little bit of space between them.

“Too bad he’ll believe me,” Even said lowly, using the voice he’d use to seduce Isak. And talking about this made him want Even to seduce them, but they were in a public area, so Isak took a deep breath, nuzzled his nose against Even’s then pulled back completely. “Since, you know, I’ll be the cool Dad.”

“Why do you get to be the cool one?” Isak asked, dramatically pouting now and even moving his hands to keep to himself to add to the dramatics.

“Because, baby, I’ve always been the cool one, you’re the cute one with the brains,” Even said, reaching back over to taking Isak’s hands, placing two innocent kisses on the backs of them. “Besides babe, I’m so fun.”

“I’m fun too!” Isak said, still with the dramatics, pouting away and making Even laugh.

“You know what?” He said between the giggles, pulling Isak back in with laughter filled kisses peppered all over his cheeks, as if Isak had been _that_ amusing. “I can’t even deny it, Isak, you’re _damn_ fun. Our kid is going to love you.” 

“You’re _damn_ right,” Isak said, smiling because Even’s laughter was contagious, even if it didn’t seem like Isak had been that funny, Even’s laughter was gorgeous and Isak just wanted to kiss him. So he did a few quick times before finally planting one last slow and lingering kiss. He held his jaw and kissed him for a long few moments, completely lost in one another before Isak pulled back, and in the spirit of telling each other everything continued on. “If we have a boy, I think I’ll know better about what to do. I mean, Ana was one thing but we were pretty distant from those really super awkward pubescent years and I’ll have no idea what to do. But, I still kind of want it to be a girl.” 

“Well, seeing as we’ll have a few year to figure all of that pubescent stuff out, I think we’ll manage if we have a girl,” Even said with a little laugh. “I feel similarly. I know I want two, a boy and a girl. Eventually, anyway, hopefully someday if we could do this again or we could just adopt. But I think I kind of want a girl too.” 

“Good, so we’ll never tell our son we said that if we have him first,” Isak said with a little laugh of his own now, leaning back in and pecking Isak’s lips. “What I do know is that with us as parents, that baby is going to be so well dressed.” 

“Isak, you are only well dressed because of me, Eskild, and maybe a little Eva” Even said, raising his eyebrows, “I’ll have final say on everything that baby wears.” 

“God, you’re so bossy,” Isak said, kissing him again and pulling away with a dramatic sigh because he knew Even was right. It was probably best. “But, you’re right.” 

“Look at us being cute and materialistic about what our child will wear,” Even said, laughing some more and giving Isak some of his own kisses. “But, hey, we’re communicating, and _this_ communication is making me so _excited_ about our future.”

“As long as there’s nothing more pressing on the table that needs to be discussed?” Isak asked, looking at Even, maybe gauging his excitement just a little to see if it was at dangerous levels. He just wanted to see, because when he’d told Even about telling Mats, he’d been completely calm. Almost too calm, like he was actively trying to hold it down. “Because, we have a year for these other things. And although this part of our lives does involve future planning, we still do have to focus on the importance of right now. Because right now is where we are.” 

“I know, I know,” Even nodded, taking a deep breath—another sign to Isak of Even being on some sort of edge, “I’m excited and the planning rocks, but yes. I’m here, with you and it’s a Saturday, we don’t have to worry about work at all. We’ll be focusing on just us.”

“That’s perfect,” Isak said, smiling and taking Even’s hand comfortably now. His medication worked for the most part, and the therapy helped, but sometimes there were adjustments to be made or he’d forget to get a refill and he’d get thrown off. Isak thought the idea of them home alone for the night would probably be a good thing. He’d check on his medication and try to keep him away from anything that could be triggering. “We should watch movies on the ceiling with your projector, eat popcorn, talk, do all the _other_ fun things we do when we’re alone.” 

“I’m so down for that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want visuals on Even and Isak's tattoos, [here](http://evakevaluation.tumblr.com/post/177562045168/this-is-purely-conceptual-because-i-cant-draw) is a really poorly drawn picture of it. more like a concept than a drawing. 
> 
> comment and kudos would be greatly appreciated if you're still there <3


	5. I Say Love's Complicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kind of all over the place emotionally and it's kind of a mess but I hope you enjoy.  
> thanks to everyone who's reading <3

_Monday, April 29_

“Are you fucking kidding me, Isak?” Even asked, spinning around at the stove and putting his hands on his hips. He looked and sounded mad, which was so not what was Isak was going for, but he wasn’t exactly surprised about it either. “We spent all of Saturday talking, making sure we talked to each other about _everything_. And you didn’t say a word about this. Nothing!”

“Even, this isn’t…it’s not, I mean, it’s not important like that,” Isak tried say calmly, hating when Even yelled but this time knowing he deserved it. In his defense, it had mostly just slipped his mind that day. But it wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about it since. Or that he couldn’t have told him before. That’s why he told him then, because he was feeling guilty after all the honesty. “I mean, I can handle it in my own ways. I don’t need the medication.”

“Do you even hear yourself right now?” Even snapped, his voice rising even higher. “You sound like a fucking hypocrite! _You_ make me take medication to make me _better_ yet you’re just sitting there, refusing to be better. I mean, what the hell?”

“Me having anxiety is way different than you being bipolar,” Isak tried to explain and honestly, it was, but it still needed to be addressed and he knew that. He knew Even’s frustration. “This isn’t putting me out of commission or making me a threat to anyone besides myself. I can handle it with just the therapy.”

“If that were true, you wouldn’t have sleepless nights,” Even scoffed, turning back around and attending to their dinner again. “I don’t get why you’re like this. You’ve fucking studied, you know it can help and yet you’re being stubborn and hypocritical and you’re pissing me off.”

“You’re right Even, I have studied,” Isak said, voice starting to strain, the louder Even got, the more frustrated Isak became, “And I know that there are side effects that cause depression and a lot of other things when taking these medications. I’ve seen you depressed, Even, I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want you to see me like that.”

“That’s fucked up,” Even said, his voice sudding dropping back down to normal levels, but still somehow sounding as threatening. “That’s like a really fucked up thing to say. Seriously. I’ve seen you all kinds of sick and you don’t think I can handle _that?_ Why? Am I really that terrible? What the fuck, Isak? What the actual fuck.”

“Of course you’re not terrible, that’s not what I meant,” Isak groaned, putting his hand over his face and officially thinking Even was blowing this out of proportion. He was going to tell him that he was going to start taking the medication, this didn’t have to be a fight and yet here they were. “Are you okay? How are _your_ meds?”

“No,” Even said curtly, switching off the stove and spinning around. He stopped and pointedly said it again. “No. _You_ do not get to turn this on me and my medication. _I’m_ taking my medication. I’m controlling it. And you don’t get to just turn the tables because I’m mad about you being a hypocrite, Isak.” 

“I’m not turning the tables,” Isak said sassily, crossing his arms and leaning against the fridge. He was starting to feel annoyed. “I’m making an observation because I didn’t want this to be a thing! I was feeling bad. I was going to tell you that I’d try it. But look where we are instead.” 

“Oh yeah, this is all my fault,” Even rolled his eyes and leaned a hand on the countertop beside him. “I have every right to be angry right now, don’t fucking belittle me.” 

“You do...I’m just saying maybe not this angry,” Isak groaned and pushed off the fridge with his foot walking towards Even to try to stop the fight once and for all. But Even just backed up. “Come on, Ev. Stop this.” 

“No, I need to get out of here,” Even said shaking his head and then heading for the key hook. Isak paused for the briefest moment and then ran, making it to the keys before him. “Isak! I’m just going to go to Mutta’s.”

“Fine,” Isak said with a sigh, putting the keys in his pocket and reaching for his phone, “Then I’m having him come pick you up.” 

He dialed Mutta’s number and then let it ring in his ear, Even standing there, staring at him with his arms crossed over his chest. Obviously annoyed, but at least not protesting. Isak stared at him while he waited for Mutta to answer, daring him to do otherwise. For whatever reason, he didn’t. Maybe Isak was intimidating enough, which was good enough for him. 

“Halla?” 

“Mutta, Even needs to get out for a few hours, like now, can you come pick him up?” Isak asked, watching Even roll his eyes like some defiant teenager, but Isak didn’t care. He was going to be mad no matter what Isak did, so he thought he’d rather Even be out with someone than wandering the streets angrily by himself, so getting Mutta to get him was the best option, anyway.

“Yeah, man, I’ll come now,” Mutta said, “Everything okay?” 

“Everything’s great, just have him back for bed, he’s got work in the morning,” Isak said sweetly, hanging up with a quick “see you soon.” 

“So we’re going back to me needing chaperones, awesome,” Even said once Isak was off the phone. Isak shrugged a little and started walking away. He was done with the situation. He’d let Even go off with Mutta and calm down, then he’d try to talk to him again. “Are you seriously walking away?” 

“Yes, Even, I am,” Isak called behind him and went into the living room, sitting down on the couch and booting up the video games. He played until he heard Mutta’s car, then he listened to the door open and close and paused the game. Sighing a little, he got up and walked over to the window, watching Even get into the car, hating seeing him leave when they were fighting, but just feeling like it was right to give him the space. He trusted Mutta to keep him safe. 

After pretending to try to do some school work, he tried to finish making the dinner Even had started preparing, burned it, and ordered out instead. The he mostly moped all night, missing Even, hating that they could be spending the time together. He played his video games on and off, roamed the apartment, and eventually took a shower, throwing on some of Even’s clothes after and getting into bed. He got on his side, but he swapped Even’s pillow out with his own. 

He figured that at least if there wasn’t going to be any cuddling for the night, at least he could smell him all night anyway. 

 

_Tuesday, April 30_

Even was still a little cold when Isak got home that day. The night before, when he came to bed, he didn’t say a word, no kiss on the cheek and certainly no cuddling. Of course, somewhere in the night their subconscious bodies glued together like the magnets they were, but when the alarm went off, it was back to the angry Even. They didn’t talk much and he hadn’t made Isak breakfast. 

“Hey,” Isak said when he walked through the door and walked into the kitchen. Even was cooking dinner at least. Isak almost assumed that maybe it was just for himself, but he didn’t think Even would be that petty. When he didn’t answer, Isak thought, well, maybe he was. “Good talk.” 

“Yes, I _am_ still mad, Isak,” Even sighed a little and picked his phone off the counter looking down at it then grabbing another ingredient out of the cupboards. “I don’t get why you’re so surprised about that, honestly. It’s like, hold on.” His phone started ringing in his hand. He squinted at the ID then his eyes widened, making him hold out a finger to Isak. “Halla? Speaking…. You’re kidding? Nei! That’s great, thank you!” 

Even brightened up with every sentence, his voice getting louder and his eyes growing bright with excitement. Obviously, it was good news. So, Isak crossed his arms and leaned up against the doorway, waiting for him to be done so he could hear about it. Even was mad but he’d never resist telling Isak good news. He went on a little longer, Isak only getting his “uh-huhs” and “thank yous” and absolutely no context.

“Well, who was that?” Isak asked, still trying to be mad at Even but the excitement on his face as he hung up was making Isak smile. Mad, but cute, still very very cute. “You’re going to tell me, right?” 

“Of course, baby, oh my god, of course,” Even said excitedly, holding his hands out and walking towards Isak. The next thing he knew, his arms we around him, holding him tight while he kissed behind Isak’s ear. A complete turn of events, “It was our lawyer. The judge looked at it and said we don’t even need a trial. We’re approved. Our Visas are approved.” 

“What? I mean, how? No way?” Isak asked, completely shocked, pulling back and forgetting all about the fight. “How?” 

“He said that it was pretty clear cut,” Even said with a shrug, moving his arms to rest on Isak’s waist, looking him in the eyes. “I don’t know if it was lenient person or maybe they’d seen a case like it before but we’re in. They’ll be sending them in the mail like, next month or something.” 

“Holy shit,” Isak said, swallowing hard and leaned against the wall, “holy shit, this is it, we’re approved. There’s nothing stopping us.” 

“Nothing,” Even said, his smile dropping just a little as he moved a hand up, first running it through Isak’s hair, then the backs of his fingers over his cheek before he cupped his jaw. “Besides our fighting and miscommunication. We should talk.” 

“I was a hypocrite,” Isak said, a little defeated. He still felt it was different, but he understood where Even had been coming from. He had just felt his own way about things. “I’m sorry, I should have taken the medication as soon as it was prescribed. I should have taken my own advice and I get that you were mad about that. I’m sorry, okay?” 

“I’m sorry, too, you know, because I know how hard it is,” Even said slowly, stepping back and grabbing Isak’s hand. He pulled him more into the kitchen and pulled over a chair for him, encouraging him to sit and then kissing his head before he walked back over to the stove, getting back to dinner. “But, it’s like, we spent all that time talking, you could have at least talked to me about why you were worried about it. We could have talked about it and I could have helped you. I wouldn’t have even forced you or made you if you seriously didn’t want to. The point was to talk and you completely threw it out the window and then got all fucking hypocritical.” 

“I know, I need to stop, I’m an idiot,” Isak sighed, not going to try to defend his side because no matter what, Even was right. “I deserve you being mad at me, but what can I do to make it be over?” Isak paused for a moment, thinking Even might give some sort of answer, but he didn’t, so Isak said the first thing that came to mind. “Oh, I know. I’ve been bad. Spank me.” 

“Okay,” Even said almost immediately, turning around with a little smirk. “Dinner needs to simmer anyway, wait,” he leaned over and set a timer on the stove, “we have one hour to do whatever. Let’s go in the bedroom, it’s more comfortable.” 

“Yes sir,” Isak said with a nervous excitement, jumping up out of his seat and pulling off his shirt as he headed to the bedroom, making sure he’d be stripped down for Even by the time they got there. 

~  
*  
Later that night, Even had to record his vlog because he hadn’t the night before due to the fight. Of course, now he was thinking he wouldn’t trade the make up sex for the world, but he felt like the fight took so much away. If they hadn’t fought, he’d have done his vlog, and then they could have had make-up sex _and_ hurray-our-visas-were-approved sex. 

He supposed they had some time for the latter, anyway. Plenty, actually, so he probably needed to get over it. 

Honestly, though, Even kind of felt like he was losing it. He didn’t think it was possible to be manic on his medication, but that felt like where his mind was going. He couldn’t figure it out, so he was just going to deal with it the best way he could, by ignoring it and going about everything as usual. Maybe it’d be one of those tiny earthquakes that scientists aren’t even certain are earthquakes. Maybe he could just ride it out on the medication. Hopefully it wouldn’t turn into a real earthquake.

So, he was going to get his vlog done. And this time he was going to ask his viewers what they thought about donating money. He and Isak still hadn’t landed on any charities, and after hearing that Eva’s mom was helping with her medical expenses, they knew she didn’t need their help too, so they needed to do some research. But they’d find one, and they woudn’t start collecting the money until they landed on the charity. 

Other than that, he kept the vlog light, trying to keep his mind off the fight he and Isak had had and off the maybe-mania he was feeling. He knew Isak was sorry, after their crazy hot sex, they’d had a decent talk about it, making sure to see each other’s sides of the entire thing until they finally felt settled. And Even let Isak know he was sorry for the fight, too. He didn’t mean to freak out as much as he did, but he did and he really was sorry about it. 

So, he recorded and edited and tried not to think about it at all as he worked. It worked pretty well, his last bits of anger over it dying down almost completely and his worry about the mania going to. He felt fine. No way was he manic, he was just rightfully angry, it happened to everybody. He needed to relax, he was turning into his mom, thinking everything was an episode.

He didn’t realize how late it had gotten until lsak walked into the room. 

“Baby, it’s getting late, we should go to bed,” Isak said, quiet and low. He looked so tired and cute in Even’s shirt and a pair of boxers, Even couldn’t help but smile. Yeah, he definitely wasn’t mad anymore. And that precious, sleepy boy needed to be scooped up and brought to bed straight away where he would be cuddled all night long.  
*

_Thursday, May 2_

Thursday dinner with Even’s family that week was doomed to be more interesting than usual. Luckily the two of them weren’t fighting anymore, but Isak was still on edge about Even’s mood swings, wondering what was going on with his medication. He had checked, Even was taking it like he said he was—not that Isak didn’t believe him, just that manic Even liked to lie—so if there was a problem, it was probably the dosage, which they had never had to change on this medication before. It had been working so well.

It definitely wasn’t a good week for Ana to surprise the family by bringing her “official” boyfriend to dinner. The drummer no one trusted. With long, dark, kind of greasy hair, and a tattoo up his forearm, this guy didn’t look like a high school student. He wasn’t that tall, at least, about the same height as Ana who was still taller than most of her friends at 5’8” but still made Even and Isak a good seven and four—respectively—inches on her.

Isak spent a lot of time analyzing him. He wasn’t some big, strong, tough guy, but he had a cocky attitude as if he were prepared to fight. He used a lot of slang and Isak wasn’t fully aware of what he was saying half the time and Isak found him kind of stupid. Of course, he did recognize some signs of abandonment and other troubles, but he also recognized the signs of him being a player, too. For instance, the way he treated Ana was alright, but it wasn’t how you treat someone you truly care about. And, maybe they weren’t there yet but it still made Isak fidget in his seat as he noticed the little nuances, like the fact that this guy’s right arm with the tattoo was hell of a lot stronger than the other and Isak could only assume why, could only assume how obsessed he might’ve been to get into her pants—if he hadn’t already.

Basically, everyone at the table besides Ana and him were on edge over this boy, _James_.

“So, Ana says that you two have been dating for two weeks now,” Josefine said, cutting some of the tension after James’ terrible joke about Ana knowing how to _work with her hands_ in reference to her guitar and piano playing that literally no one besides Ana laughed at—and even she turned a little bit red. “Have you gone on any actual dates?”

“Nei, but I’m taking her out this Friday, right Babe?” James asked, wrapping his arm around Ana’s shoulders and pulling her in for an awkward side-squeeze.

“Oh yeah, I haven’t asked yet but we’re going to the movies, is that okay?” Ana asked, moving his hand off of her and setting it down in his lap while she asked her parents. Her demeanor was interesting because Isak was certain the surprise visit was some sort of statement. Something along the lines of ‘I’m grown up and I can date whoever I want,’ in response to Even and Martin’s protectiveness. But, she was being more mature than the statement would have allowed, keeping to herself, being respectful to everyone at the table.

“That’s fine, just make sure to follow curfew, please,” Martin said, wiping his mouth with his napkin and looking over at Ana, who nodded and continued eating. Isak could tell Martin would rather focus the subject elsewhere, and he did, clearing his throat and directing his attention to the boys, “Even, Isak, how are things going with your plans? Any new updates?”

“Oh my God, yeah, have you found a surrogate yet? An egg donor? What does she look like?” Ana asked from the other side of the table, jumping on the subject change, too. 

“No, no, none of those things yet,” Isak said with a little laugh, looking over at Even, who was pretty focused on James across the table. Isak cleared his throat a little and tried to get his attention elsewhere, but he stayed focused and Isak wasn’t even sure if he was listening at all. He nudged him a little and he snapped out of it, so Isak went on. “Actually, we got approved for our Visas, so that’s pretty exciting.”

“That _is_ exciting!” Josefine exclaimed, clapping her hands happily for them. “So, when are you two planning on leaving? We’re going to need to throw a going away party. Oh my goodness, I’m just going to miss you boys so much.”

“We’re thinking we’ll leave after my birthday, so hopefully we’ll be settled in there by mid-July,” Isak said excitedly, reaching over and squeezing Even’s thigh then leaving it there. “Everything’s moving so fast, it’s crazy. Once we finish one process, there’s another and another.”

“I’m sure, but you two seem to be keeping things in check okay,” Martin said. “Have you guys started looking for work or places to live or any of that.”

“Yeah, well, actually—“ 

Isak was cut off by Even’s leg moving under the table to kick James in the shin. James called out with a “what the fuck” at him and then things kind of just took off. It happened fast, but to Isak, it was slow motion with nothing he could do to make it stop. Isak hadn’t seen something like it in a while, but Even snapped, yelling as he lurched across the table at James. 

“She obviously doesn’t want you touching her so keep your fucking hands off her,” Even was saying as he knocked the boy out of his seat and onto the floor. Ana screeched and jumped up, yelling at Even to stop while Martin and Isak got up, rushing over to the altercation and trying to pull the boys apart. Of course, they both ended up holding Even, each other them holding an arm. 

“What the hell was that?” James yelled, getting up and looking like he wanted to come at Even, so Isak let go and stepped in front of him. Mostly to keep Even from lurching again, but also wanting to protect him, if he could. James raised his eyebrows at Isak and then looked over at Ana with a scoff of a laugh, “You told me he was fucked up but this is insane, look at him!” 

“Ana!” Both Isak and Josefine called out. Isak didn’t think she’d use the words “fucked up” to describe Even being bipolar, but as soon as the words came out of James’ mouth, Isak wanted to yell at her, shake her and ask her why the fuck she would say anything like that. Ever. 

“I...you deal with this, I’m bringing Even home,” Isak said, defeated as the room went silent, even Even who was obviously in the middle of some episode. Isak turned around and put his hands on Even’s face but Even shook them off, breaking free of Martin and immediately heading out of the room. Isak looked at Josefine, gave her a quick “I’ll call you later” and then ran after Even to make sure he didn’t get far without Isak. 

Isak had the keys and had drove to dinner for reasons somewhere along these lines, but that wouldn’t stop a manic Even from getting places. So, he had to hurry, make sure he could get him in the car and safely home. He caught up with him on the porch, grabbing his hips from behind and walking with him down to the car. Isak avoided the sigh of relief when he didn’t refuse or try to push him away and just got him into the car instead. 

“Even,” Isak said calmly once they were both buckled and the car was in motion. He figured it was the best way to make sure Even didn’t try to run while he was talking. “Baby, you need to tell me if this feels like a manic episode.”

“It’s not,” Even mumbled, leaning his forehead against the window on the passenger side. He was lying though, because while he sat there, looking defeated and staring out that window, he was clenching and unclenching his fists. Still a little too worked up. “I mean, were we not just in the same place? He kept touching her, and she’d move his hand away. What was I supposed to do? Watch him take advantage of her? I mean, fuck! Where’s the decency?” 

“But, Baby, he’s _seventeen_ ,” Isak said, keeping his voice calm, trying to make sure to sound like he wasn’t being condescending. He didn’t want Even to feel like he was pointing any fingers or holding his illness over his head. “And, I’m just saying, the last I knew, we weren’t making any habits of beating up teenage boys. Even the ones dating your sister.” 

“Yeah, until he fucking hurts her,” Even scoffed, sitting up and looking at Even. “You know, I don’t even know why we’re talking about this. You’ve got your theory and you’re not letting go of it. So, fine, I’m manic, what are you going to do? Bring me to a psych ward? Lock me up and pump me with more drugs? That sounds better than watching my sister get groped unwantedly.” 

“Ana can take care of herself, Ev,” Isak sighed, stopping at a red light and looking back at Even. “You said yourself, she was moving his hand away. She can handle him. And I know I don’t have to say this but you’re not fucked up, he’s just an asshole. I’m sure Ana didn’t say that about you.” 

Even sighed and looked out the window again, going quiet and clenching his fists. Isak let the silence settle for a few moments then start talking again when he was driving again. Best to let things settle on the stops, get moving again when the car was in motion.

“And I don’t have any solid theory, Ev, I want to listen to what _you_ think, what you feel,” Isak still spoke in a calm voice, taking his hand off the steering wheel and setting it on Even’s thigh to give it a comforting squeeze. “So, can we talk about it?” 

“You’re literally treating me like a patient right now,” Even said angrily, “And I realize you think this is the perfect time to trap me into a session because we’re in a moving car. But it’s not. I’ll jump out right now.” 

“Even!” Isak yelled as Even unbuckled and started opening the door. He didn’t know what else to do, so he checked his rearview mirror, moved his hand from his thigh and held his arm out in front of Even’s chest and slammed on the breaks. 

 

 _Friday, May 3_  
*  
When Even woke up the next morning, everything was bright and too white. He felt groggy and his vision was blurry so he closed his eyes and turned over, thinking he could sleep for a few more years. That he had been in a manic episode and this was the beginning of the Down Days. Not that he felt nearly as bad as he used to, but he figured that’s what it had to be. 

Until he rolled over in his bed and realized it was not his bed. It was much smaller, less comfortable, and severely lacking another body. Where was he? He rubbed his eyes and sat up, opening them and first looking at his feet at the bottom of the hospital bed. He looked at the wristband on his wrist, and started panicking for real. He was in a hospital. 

How the fuck did he get to a hospital? Was Isak okay? What was the last thing he remembered? 

He was in the car on the way home from his parents house with Isak. They were fighting—again—and then Even started being reckless. The last thing he remembered was Isak slamming on the brakes, and his arm holding Even back in his seat. Had they been in an accident? He seemed okay but where the hell was Isak? Was he okay? He needed to know and he needed to know now so he started getting up to find someone who could help. 

“Whoa whoa, hey now,” Isak said, suddenly entering the room as Even was trying to mess with his IV’s. He was carrying coffees and brown bag. “I’m sure they’ll unhook you from that now that you’re awake. But, in the meantime, I brought you coffee and a danish.” 

“Isak, why the hell am I here?” 

“I thought you might not remember,” Isak sighed and then handed him the coffee and the bag before sitting on the edge of the bed. “I brought you here because you were being really dangerous. I tried to handle it, but I was worried I was going to lose you. Please, please don’t be mad, okay? All they did was get you to sleep, get your medication upped, refilled, and they put a dose of it in your IV. I...uh, how do you feel?”

“Tired,” Even sighed, looking over Isak. He wasn’t mad. He wasn’t necessarily happy about it, but Isak did what he had to do. He knew that when he was manic, this was kind of exactly what he asked Isak not to do, but it was really the only thing he could, he wouldn’t hold it against him. “Not mad.” 

“Good, the doctors said the balancing of medication was kind of going to speed up the episode,” Isak said, reaching over and petting Even’s hair. “So, take today to sleep off those down feelings. They’re keeping you in here until I get out, then I’ll come get you. But I’ll just be in another wing, so I’ll visit frequently.” 

“ _Keeping_ me here?” Even asked incredulously. He didn’t want to stay, he was fine, he could go home, go to work for the day. “Isak, I have work.” 

“I already called in for you, but I also brought you your laptop so you can do some work from home if you want,” Isak said, walking over to the other side of the room and picking up Even’s laptop case. Apparently, he’d thought of it all and there was definitely no way Even was getting out of there before the end of the day. “But, Ev, how _are_ you feeling? Because I want to talk about something but if you’re not feeling well maybe now isn’t a good time. But I feel like I have to tell you now because if I draw it out, it’ll hurt even more.” 

“That sounds like a break up speech,” Even said, knowing that it wasn’t but still tensing up about it, wondering what it was Isak had to say. Hoping it wasn’t anywhere along those lines, anyway. “I feel fine, so you should just tell me.” 

“Okay,” Isak said, taking a deep breath and sitting on the edge of Even’s bed. He looked nervous, which made Even nervous, but he stayed quiet as Isak took his hand and prepared to say whatever he as going to. He kissed the back of Even’s hand a few times and Even stomach dropped as he caught the tears welling up in his eyes. “Even, Baby, I love you _so_ much and I want to have a baby with you so damn much. A-and, we’re going to be amazing parents one day, but we’re not ready today.” 

“Sure we are,” Even said immediately, reaching out and grabbing onto Isak’s jaw, wanting nothing more to console him to make him feel better and keep him from saying what he was trying to. “We’re so in love and so ready to share our love. We’ve got our visas on the way and we’re _ready_ , Isak.” 

“We’re _not_ ,” Isak said, hiccupping a little and putting his hand over Even’s on his jaw. “Even, we’re not taking care of ourselves and if we can’t do that, we can’t take care of another life,” a tear dripped from his left eye but he quickly wiped it away, “First me with the anxiety medications and now you not admitting when things were going south with your medication. We...we really have to get control of these things before we decide to bring another life into the world.” 

“Isak, Isak, please,” Even pleaded, scooting closer to him and giving him a few sloppily kisses as tears started falling from his eyes. “Isak, we can do this. I’ll do better, please. Please, Isak, I’ll do anything.”

“Even, I’m sorry,” Isak said, his own tears falling freely as he took his head in both hands, “We’re not there, responsibility-wise. I’m so sorry I let it go this far but I really, really thought we were ready. An-and now I know we’re not and I’m sorry but we can’t do this. We just can’t.” 

“Is-ak,” Even’s voice broke, his heart hurting in his chest as he listened to his husband say they weren’t ready to start a family. All he wanted was to change his mind, tell him this was a mistake, but he was groggy, he couldn’t think of any good responses to Isak’s points. He moved his head out of Isak’s hands and grabbed them both in his own, looking at him in the eyes. “Isak please, we can’t make this decision right now. It’s not far.”

“Baby, the fact that we’ve both proven that we can’t take care of ourselves doesn’t change if you’re in a hospital bed or not,” Isak sighed and gave his hands a squeeze. They were both still crying, tears streaming down their faces with no signs of stopping. And, as awful as it sounded, it made Even a little hopeful. If Isak was that upset, maybe there was something in his mind to change. That or this was a final decision for him, and there was no making up his mind. But that hurt Even to think about, he’d rather hold on to the little bit of hope he had. 

“Maybe it does,” Even said, moving closer and stroking Isak’s cheek with the back of his fingers, “Let’s talk about this when I’m in a better place. Please Isak. Please.” 

“I don’t want to put off the inevitable, Even, it’ll be more painful,” Isak sighed and then looked at the time, “Listen, I have to get to my residency. But I’m in the building, so I’ll be checking up on you all day long. I’ll bring you lunch, too and I’ll bring you home when I get out.”

“And then we’ll talk more about this because this isn’t the end,” Even told him, sniffling a little and wiping Isak’s eyes. “We need to talk more.” 

“Ev,” Isak sighed and stood up, grabbing his hand again and kissing the back of it, “If we’re going to talk about it, we’re giving it a couple days. You’ll probably have some pretty down spells for the next few days, who knows when it’ll stop. But, maybe when it does, then we can bring this back up. Until then, I’m sorry but this is an indefinite pause.” 

“I feel better now, but whatever,” Even said after Isak leaned down and gave him a peck on the lips. 

“I love you,” Isak said as he reached the door, turning around and giving him a smile. 

“I love you too,” Even said, defeated, watching him leave then falling back to the bed. Isak couldn’t do this, he couldn’t take this away. They were ready. They were excited. This was supposed to be happening for them. He started tearing up again, crying and crying until he fell back to sleep. 

 

_Monday, May 6_

Isak had spent all weekend taking care of Even. At first, Ev had continuously claimed that he was fine, that it wasn’t anything like before, but then he just took a hard turn, suddenly down, out of commission. Isak still didn’t think it had been half as bad as Even’s usual Down Days, but it was still bad. Isak just held him and the two of them cried a lot and spent the days in bed with movies and takeout. 

Thursday night when he took Even to the hospital, he’d spent a lot of time making the decision. He didn’t want to make it. He didn’t want all the planning to be for nothing. But, he had to. Even was dangerous. Isak had hardly gotten him home without getting the both of them killed in an accident and then when they were there, it got worse. He said a lot of things that hurt, even though Isak knew not to take anything to heart, and then when Isak said the wrong thing in response—what, he honestly couldn’t remember, the night was more of a blurry nightmare than anything—that was it, things got bad and Isak got scared. 

So, before Even could hurt himself, Isak took charge and called for an ambulance. Even had said it out of spite, that Isak would restrain him and pump him with drugs and it was kind of exactly what he did. He hated doing it, but if Even wasn’t balanced, it was bad. It hadn’t always been so terrible or so drastic, and it really did happen gradually until suddenly Isak was begging him to take medication. Pleading that he needed Even and that he was losing him to the stupid illness until Even finally agreed. And, it took a while to find the right medication and get him stable, but then things got better. 

Even barely finished University because of it, but Isak wasn’t going to let him have to repeat a year like he did at Nissen because of it, so he worked with him, even at the cost of his own studies. And Even graduated on time, and the medication worked seemingly flawlessly once they figured out dosage and whatnot. Isak knew it wasn’t the last of it, but he had definitely let it slip his mind since. He should have been more prepared.

Honestly, he really thought Even would have been honest with him. That he would have told him that he was feeling off so that they could have fixed it before it got bad. But he just didn’t. It kind of let him down, it’s what got him thinking about the idea of them taking care of each other and taking care of themselves. They were obviously failing so how in hell could they take care of someone else? 

“I don’t know, man, maybe he’s learned from his actions?” Mats offered when the two of them ran into each other in the hall at their residency. Apparently Isak was giving off a vibe, or looking just downright distraught and so Mats asked. He hadn’t told anyone about the change in plans yet, but he finally just broke down. He didn’t mean to, but Even was back at work and Isak was worried about him. He’d called him twice and Even said he was going to be fine. He didn’t lie and say he was, which Isak appreciated, but he was on edge. He needed to be with Even if he was feeling down, especially after he’d made this decision that completely broke the two of them. 

It felt like a lot. He couldn’t help himself. 

“I want it to be that easy, but I don’t know, he’s always been like that,” Isak shrugged, thinking of all the times Even was manic and lied to Isak’s face about it without batting an eyelash. It was infuriating, but there were times where Isak thought it was getting better because Even _would_ tell him and Isak would get his hopes up until an episode or two later when he was lying about it all over again, and then Isak would just be more infuriated. He thought their therapist really needed to get into that and he put it on his list of things to bring up. “I don’t see him changing for real.” 

“I’m sorry Isak but I’m siding with Even here,” Mats shrugged and crossed his arms across his chest, leaning on the wall, “You guys should still do it. You’ll still have time to figure it out between now and the baby’s birth and being the premo couple you are, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” 

“Yeah, but a year is going to be like, the minimum to know he actually has changed,” Isak said. “The baby could be born and then….”

“And then you can’t even answer that sentence,” Mats said, reaching out and poking Isak’s shoulder. “Because you know that it goes: the baby would be born and then Even would become a totally different kind of mature. You both will. You know a baby would change you both for the better, Isak. You’re so ready for it and I don’t have to tell you that for you to know it.” 

“Yeah, maybe,” Isak sighed and looked at the ground, really not convinced. Certainly not by Mats who knew Even the least out of all his friends. He kicked at the ground, staring at their feet. “I’m going to meet him for lunch. Maybe we’ll talk about it.” 

“You should,” Mats said, Isak watching his feet as he stepped forward and kissed Isak on the cheek. 

“Uh, fy faen?” Isak said, wiping his cheek and stepping back, confused as to why Mats would be going on about how great a couple he and Even were then suddenly make a move on him. 

“I thought you might need that,” Mats said with a smirk, reaching up and patting Isak’s definitely-slightly-red cheek a couple of times. “With Even out of commission you might be craving that human interaction. Who better than your super hunky, super platonic, and super straight guy friend?” 

“Yeah, no, never again,” Isak said, wiping his cheek even more as if Mat’s lips had burned a mark he needed to remove. “Very bad decision, and I’m very okay on the human contact front, thank you. You know, Even and I fuck so much that I forget that I need a break sometimes. It was nice just relaxing and holding him. Plus, when we reconnect it’ll be like magic.” 

“Overcompensate much?” Mats asked, stepping back even more as if to make a show of the space he was giving Isak. “I kissed you on the cheek, not the ass. You don’t have to reject me with how great things are with your husband. I know man, that’s why I think you need to talk to him. You should still have the baby, seriously.” 

~

Isak joined Even at their usual spot for lunch when they met up. They slide into a booth and Isak wrapped his arms around Even, holding him close and playing with his hair. He was glad that Even still seemed to be on the same cuddly page. He thought that eventually, Even would be mad about the decision and then Isak was going to have to deal with him being mad until he got over it. 

They kept it light and cuddly through their drink order and then after the waitress left with their food order, Even pulled away a little and took Isak’s jaw, looking at him seriously and sincerely and Isak knew exactly where he was about to go. But he really just wanted to melt into him under that gaze, surrender himself to him right there—okay maybe their dry spell wasn’t as great as he’d told Mats.

“Isak, I think we need to talk about this decision,” Even said seriously, moving a hand to the side of Isak’s neck, his eyes still burning into him. “I realize you think this is the best decision right now but I don’t think it can be made by just one of us. We both agreed to do it, so if we’re not, we both should have to agree not to, right? It’s a two way street now.” 

“Even, it’s not like I suddenly don’t want to, we’re doing this someday, just maybe not today,” Isak said, still not ready to side with Even or Mats. “And I really don’t think we should be talking about this until we know you’re at a hundred percent.” 

“Isak,” Even sighed, “I mean, we,” he sighed again, groaning a little, “what if I never get to a hundred because this hurts so much? Because the one person I love the most doesn’t want to have a baby with me because I get crazy sometimes?” 

“Ev, this is exactly why we’ll have to wait,” Isak said, letting out a sigh of his own and leaning in to kiss his forehead. “Because that is not the case at all. I want a baby with you more than anything in this world. Okay? And I don’t think you’re crazy. Not even sometimes. So let’s just drop it for a couple days, focus on being better. Please?” 

“Do you promise we really will talk about it the moment I say I feel like I’m at my best?” Even asked hopefully, looking into Isak’s eyes with that intensity again. 

“As long as you promise to be telling the truth,” Isak shrugged, running his fingers through Even’s hair and pulling himself back closer again, almost wanting to get into his lap. 

“I promise,” Even said with a nod, tilting his head down and pecking Isak on the lips for a lingering moment. “Baby?” 

“Yeah, Ev?” Isak asked, hitching just a leg up over Even’s knee to try to fulfill his need for his touch. He continued running his fingers through his hair and looked back at him with his own intensity. 

“We fight and shit happens, but we’re okay, right?” 

“Ev, Baby, we’re _always_ so, so much more than okay,” Isak said confidently, though he felt a little bit of tears welling up in his eyes. He hated that they’d been fighting so much, and that everything lately had just felt like hell. He wanted so badly for it to go back, and it would, even if it felt worrisome. “You can fight with me all you want, but you’re stuck with me, okay? Even if you want to leave me then I’ll just tie you up and never let you go because I refuse, Even.” 

“I love you so damn much,” Even said before lurching in and kissing Isak again, this time getting the two of them into a pretty good makeout session with Isak barely being able to mutter out an “I love you too.” It was probably pornographic after the little sexual content they’d had over the past couple days, but Isak didn’t care. 

 

_Wednesday, May 8_

Isak had felt the shift in Even and started anticipating the conversation. He’d actually felt the shift the day before, and had been spending an entire day waiting for him to say something, anything about it. Isak wasn’t going to bring it up, because he was letting Even decide when he was ready. It was pure anticipation and he almost thought that maybe he’d given Even the upperhand. After spending all that time in his head about it, Even probably had one hell of an argument for his case. 

Isak should have had a better argument, too. But, he still wanted it. He thought it was a bad idea, he didn’t think they were ready, but he still wanted it. He’d have to stand his ground, though, because it’d be the right thing to do for their future child who was going to need them physically and emotionally—and because he didn’t want to admit defeat to Even on something he’d been so adamant about less than a week before. Besides, putting it off until they were both in a good place was the best thing to do.

Suffice it to say that he wasn’t so surprised to come home to Even having a nice dinner set for the two of them. Fully equipped with wine and even and candle in the middle of the table for the nice romantic and dramatic flare that always accompanied Even. He couldn’t help but smile, even though he was worried about the fight that might be coming, because Even was smiling, coming back to what he might safely call normal. So he gave him a kiss, washed up in the bathroom and then joined him at the table. 

They sat across from each other because that was the only way the conversation could be had. If they sat like they normally did, right next to each other, their hands would be doing a lot of the talking for them. He wasn’t going to let Even’s roaming hands get the better of him, and he was pretty sure that Even felt the same about him because he was the one who set the table that way to begin with. 

“You said we could talk about your decision when I was feeling better,” Even began straight off once they were both served and Isak took his first bite. “And, I’m feeling better, Isak. I’m ready to fight this. But I don’t want it to be an actual fight.”

“It doesn’t have to be a fight,” Isak said once he swallowed his mouthful. He washed it down with some wine and then looked back up at Even. “I’m willing to talk like adults, to hear each other’s sides. I’m just not sure who goes first.” 

“I think you kind of have already,” Even said with a little shrug, taking a bite of his food and following it up with a sip of wine. Isak watched, knowing by Even’s tone that he was so prepared and confident about this conversation. “Let me recap: we both didn’t make good judgement calls—but really mainly me, because that’s what triggered your decision. And so now you think that we’re not responsible enough. We can’t take care of each other so how can we take care of a baby, right?” 

“Ev, if we had a baby and you started to feel like something was off, I would _need_ you to tell me. I may have saw the signs but I didn’t do anything because I was _waiting_ on you to tell me and you never did so I never helped,” Isak said with a sigh, not sure he was really grasping the worry Isak was feeling on the matter. “If we had a baby and you didn’t tell me like this time, then we’re putting the baby in danger. A baby is going to need us. Both of us. And being out of commission from time to time is one thing, but episodes, Ev, they could be dangerous. I can’t be holding you down and taking care of a baby.” 

“I get it, Isak,” Even saif with a sigh of his own, picking up his napkin and wiping his mouth. He leaned forward on his elbows and looked at Isak with a small smile beneath the serious. In a way that was intimidatingly good looking. “I see where you’re coming from and I’m fully prepared to admit that I fucked up. But, Isak, this has never happened. I’d been doing well for so long with other manic scares that were nothing so, at first I really didn’t think it was a problem. I talked myself out of it a lot and it was stupid but it was one time. Next time I’ll know what to expect and I can tell you. And before you give me that look you’re giving me, I _know_ I’ve said this before. But, it’s different this time.” 

“What makes it so different?” Isak asked with a raised eyebrow, obviously skeptic, trying not to fall for Even’s looks—which he was definitely using against Isak. “You saying it’s different doesn’t _make_ it different, Ev. I need more.” 

“When I used to keep this shit from you, it was because I was afraid of being vulnerable,” Even said point blank, picking up his wine and drinking some more of it. “This time it was because I didn’t know, because I thought I had it under control. The former is a little harder to learn from but the latter just takes one time. Therapy has taught me to be vulnerable to you because you can help me and I can do that. I didn’t have the chance this time, but I promise, I’ll be as vulnerable as it can. I’ll let you fix me when I’m broken.” 

“I would never consider you broken,” Isak said, biting his lip and looking Even over. He really wanted to move to the other side of the table, sit in his lap, get his hands on his face, his hair, his shoulders. Anywhere. Maybe he wouldn’t fall for his looks, but he’d always fall for his vulnerability. “But if that’s what you want to call it, I will gladly fix you every time. You just have to tell me. You know I try not to overstep so…” 

“Overstep,” Even said quickly, reaching across the table and grabbing Isak’s hand, maybe craving the touch as much as Isak did. “Overstep please. That’s my next argument if you’re still not back on board. I know I always tell you not to psychoanalyze or to treat me like a patient, but if we have a baby, I take all of that back. I’d rather you use all that intuition, overstep and keep the baby safe. So I take back all of those rules.” 

“Wow,” Isak blinked raising both eyebrows at his husband because that was one of the most shocking things he’d thought he’d ever heard Even say. He was always so adamant about those things and Isak worked so hard to keep them as separate as possible for him. But he was willing to break down that wall to make that happen and that was just...that was a lot for Even, Isak knew that. He almost didn’t want to ask it of him, but maybe it was going to be necessary. “You’re serious?” 

“Isak, hearing you tell me you didn’t want to do this hurt me more than anything I could have imagined. I think it was almost as painful as it would be to lose you,” Even said, squeezing Isak’s hands and holding his gaze the entire time he talked. “I’m telling you, I want this and I’ll do anything.” 

“All of this stuff, Even, anything that affects us mentally, physically, whatever, we need to start being more mature about,” Isak said seriously, giving up and getting up. He walked over to Even and sat down sideways in his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck. “And I’m seriously trusting your promise here, Even.” 

“I promise I won’t let you down, Baby,” Even said nuzzling his nose against Isak’s cheek and then pulling back a little. “Is that it, then? Are we back on?” 

“I have one more condition.” 

“What’s that?” Even asked, curious eyebrow raised. 

“You and Ana have to have dinner and you have to apologize to her for attacking her boyfriend,” Isak said, a little smirk on his face because he knew it was an expected condition, but still not one Even had wanted to encounter. “It can be just you and her, a nice brother/sister dinner and maybe you’ll come out with a more adult look on her and maybe all of the growing up stuff will be easier for you.” 

“Oh, so really what you want is to torture me.” 

 

_Thursday, May 9_

Since the soonest appointment Isak could make with their therapist had been on Thursday, they opted out of dinner with Even’s parents and went to the session instead. It was basically for Isak’s benefit, so they could talk out their final decision and he could feel like it was the right one. But it ended up being more of Even and Isak reconnecting after the trauma and really opening back up. 

Isak had to admit to the anxiety attack he’d had that night after bring Even to the hospital. He’d admitted the fear he’d’ felt about not being able to take care of him. He just talked and talked about all the feelings until he had nothing else to say—or mostly nothing else, there was one more thing Isak wanted to talk to him about, but he wanted to save it for when they were alone—and there were tears dripping uncontrollably from his eyes. 

It had made Even cry too, apologizing profusely for what had happened. It felt messy, like something they could’ve done without the help of a therapist in the first place, but they were finally talking freely. And, somehow, by the end of the session, Isak was feeling so much better and he was sure Even was, too. When they got home it wasn’t even a question of what they would do. They went straight to bed, cuddled and turned on some Netflix, petting each other’s hair, gentle hands roaming each other’s sides, bodies always touching, sometimes rubbing but not quite grinding. 

Isak loved it. He was feeling so touchy and he loved all the gentle touches and he didn’t want it to end. But, he wouldn’t mind taking it further. So, he rolled over top of Even under the sheets and leaned down, leaving slow and gentle kisses on Even’s collarbones. Despite everything, he was so in love with Even, and this time with him was everything he could’ve asked for. 

“Y’know, it’s been a week,” Isak mumbled against his skin. A week since they had sex. Well, there had been some blow jobs and hand stuff in the meantime, but Isak was starting to crave more. He wanted to be connected like that again. “And I want you to make love to me. The kind that lasts for hours.” 

“Oh yeah?” Even said with a low chuckle, his hands finding the backs of Isak’s thighs and sliding them up right to the bottom of his ass, which was already so sensitive from all their touching before that it sent tingles up Isak’s entire body, making him shiver. “I’ll take that as a yes. No reason to keep these on, then.” 

Even gripped the bottom hem of Isak’s boxer-briefs and started tugging them down, Isak happily squirming to help him out. Once his own boxers were lost somewhere in the sheets, they worked on Even’s until they were completely naked, skin pressed to skin, hands back to roaming over every surface they could manage. 

Isak kissed up Even’s neck then pulled back just a little smiling happily at him. Even smiled back, their eyes locking as Isak’s hands brushed Even’s hair back and Even’s hands slid down Isak’s back to land on his ass, giving it a good squeeze this time. They were both semi hard, pressing into each other and getting harder with every movement, but they kept all their movements slow, in no rush to get to the end.

“Don’t stop touching me,” Isak whispered, before nuzzling in and kissing him on the lips, slow, gentle, and passionate just like the rest of their movements. He held Even’s face and let their lips dance together, tongues finding their way into the other’s mouth as the kiss deepened further. 

Even let him lead for a bit, his hands roaming around Isak’s backside, every so often giving his ass a squeeze or slipping his fingers between his legs to graze Isak’s sack. But, when Isak started grinding and pressing his hips into Even’s, his semi going to a full, Even flipped them over. Once Isak was safely underneath, Even pulled back, moving his hands around Isak’s chest now, thumbs stopping at his nipples and spending some extra time rubbing them. 

“I love you so fucking much,” Even said as Isak squirmed, his nipples sensitive to the touch when he was turned on like this. He was pressing his hips up into Even’s still, giving himself that little release as he grinded, remaining gentle and slow with himself to remember he wanted to last. They had work in the morning but Isak wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted Even to fuck him for hours. Hell, he wanted an all nighter. Just as much time as he could possibly manage of being so physically close to his husband like this. 

“I love you too,” Isak gasped, reaching up and scraping his nails slowly down Even’s back, just for the sake of the touch. And Even responded fondly, almost purring as he dipped down and started kissing around Isak’s neck. That was it for Isak, the noise warming up his ears and sending tingles down his spine, suddenly every single place Even touched was tingling _just right_. 

He tried to calm down, though, relax, not be too excited. So, he just focused on touching Even as much as he could manage. As Even kissed his shoulder, Isak found the back of his thigh, squeezing it, letting his fingertips graze inward. When Even’s hand was gliding down his side, Isak found the back of his neck, tickling and grazing the sensitive skin there. When Even’s hand was hitching up Isak’s thigh, Isak used it as leverage to wrap his leg around Even’s thighs, pressing up further and giving more release to the friction between them. 

Honestly, he wanted it to last long and he knew he could do it. But, he could literally come within five seconds of skin on skin contact with Even. So, he held on, feeling the excited pre-cum dripping from his tip wetting their thighs, making them glide then stick. 

It only slowed him down a little. 

“You’re so messy,” Even cooed with a little chuckle, starting a straight line of kisses down his chest, to his belly button and slowly down to his groin. He licked around some of the drying, sticky cum on Isak’s thighs and then sat up a little with a smirk, now straddling Isak’s thighs. It was true, Isak was messy and he didn’t even care. Neither did Even. “But I love it.” 

Even’s nails were gently scraping up and down the sides of Isak’s thighs, keeping up with the touch even while his lips were absent from Isak’s skin. Isak pushed up, sitting up and starting to kiss around Even’s chest. He wanted at least one set of lips somewhere and he was definitely okay with it being his lips on Even’s skin because he tasted so good. 

It wasn’t long though, before Even was pushing him back to the mattress again. Isak’s hands lost their grip and Even’s were suddenly off of him, the only touch being where Even was sat on his thighs. They stared at each other for a second, their eyes locking and pulsing their feelings for each other through the silent language only their eyes could speak. Things had been rough. Even had had an episode, Isak wasn’t nearly as prepared for it as he used to be. Things had been said, things hadn’t been said. They were fighting and they hated it so much but now they were here. It was beautiful and they would always get back to here. They had to. 

And with that one gaze, it was all said one more time, released into the air a millisecond before Even dipped down and started kissing back down Isak’s stomach again. This time, he moved himself between Isak’s legs as he moved down to his groin. Isak watched, reaching down and letting his hands grab loosely onto Even’s hair as he watched him take Isak in his mouth. 

“Wait, nei, Even,” Isak said, pulling him up off his dick and hating himself for it. As much as he welcomed the warm wetness of Even’s mouth, he’d rather the tables were turned. Even was always so eager to go down on him that Isak didn’t usually even think twice about it, but he needed to last and Even was always better at that than him. That and he was kind of craving the taste of Even, “I wanna.” 

Even didn’t look like he fully understood at first, but Isak sat up again and pushed Even back this time, his head falling right at the foot of the bed. Then it seemed like he understood, hands on Isak’s shoulders as he dipped down and kissed circles around Even’s hips. 

“Go easy on me,” Even said with a little chuckle as Isak continued his passionate--and a little sloppy—kisses around his hips and thighs. Isak knew it was a joke, but he stopped for a moment and looked up at him to make sure. He said he was better, but things could change. Even raised an eyebrow at him, the moment on pause. “What? I’m kidding, go wild.” 

Isak just smirked because, well, he didn’t have to tell him twice. He wanted Even in his mouth, every part of him wanting to give him the utmost pleasure. Even if he was skipping out on his own for the time being. So, he started kissing again, straight down from his belly button and up his shaft. He couldn’t help but look up and lick his tip in the most obscene way he could manage, watching Even shiver with pleasure before he took him in his mouth completely. 

Isak made sure to be slow, though he was eager, gripping Even’s base and bobbing his head as slow as he could manage without going mad. He swirled his tongue and dove deeper, making Even let out something between a whimper and moan, hands grabbing for Isak, One found his shoulder gripping into Isak’s skin with his nails, the other in his hair, both grips just rough enough to get Isak motivated. So, he started moving faster, letting Even’s cock slip into the back of his throat every now and then until he thought Even had had enough. 

Besides, was starting to ache with how turned on he was. So, he slowly pulled off, giving his tip one more obscene lick before he climbed off Even, moving back to head of the bed and grabbing the lube from the nightstand. That’s when Even stopped him, grabbing the lube and setting it aside before abruptly grabbing Isak’s legs and lifting them up over his shoulders. Isak let himself fall back, spreading his legs for Even as he felt his breath on his ass, hands spreading his cheeks so his tongue could tease his hole. 

Isak mewled, pressing his hips up more, wanting more, wanting everything while Even’s mouth worked it’s magic. The warmth, the wetness, the pressure just barely grazing the pleasure he could be feeling, and yet it was still so good. He let it go on, and he could let it go on until he came, but he wouldn’t. He just enjoyed it until he knew he couldn’t take anymore.

“Ev, Ev, Baby,” He groaned, shaking his head and pressing his hand to the top of Even’s trying to get him to pull away. Even obliged, pulling back and looking up at Isak. “I want you.” 

“Me too,” Even said in a low, raspy voice, slowly moving Isak’s legs off his shoulders and spreading them further. He grabbed the lube and took as little time necessary to open up Isak before he was slathering it on his dick and pressing inside of him agonizingly slow. “ _Faen_. You feel so good.” 

“You too,” Isak managed to choke out, arching his back and pressing his hips into the touch. He waited until he bottomed out then reached up, pulling him to his chest and hooking his arms up underneath his armpits. Everything was just so good, felt so damn right, and he just needed Even’s entire body. He honestly just wanted to engulf his entire being, to basically just become one finally. He kissed the side of his face while they laid their like that, both of them throbbing, needing them to start releasing the tension but they just held on there for a second. Until Even pulled back just enough to kiss Isak’s lips, his hips suddenly starting to move and sending fireworks through Isak’s entire body. 

They moved together, moaning into each other’s mouths, pulling back to tell each other how much they loved the other, their hands starting to roam again, tickling, touching, scraping anywhere they could reach. Though they rolled around a little bit, moving Isak on top and then back to being beneath Even at the end, they stayed wrapped in each other’s arms, face to face. 

It lasted a little over two hours, and though Isak’s emotionally felt like he needed more than that, he physically couldn’t take it. Even could feel it too, because this time when Isak was building back up, he just kept going. His hips barely moving but pressing into him as hard as he could manage, hand on his cock until there was cum slathered along both their stomachs, with Even coming shortly after. 

They were spent, Even pulling out and just wrapping themselves up in the blankets. They’d’ have to do laundry but for tonight, neither of them cared about sleeping with the mess. They just kept kissing and cuddling before the two of them passed out, clinging—and kind of sticking—to one another. 

 

 _Friday, May 10_  
*  
Even wasn’t sure how he was going to manage this dinner with Ana. He felt like the two of them had some sort of disconnect, and after hearing her boyfriend called him fucked up because of something she told him kind of confirmed that disconnect. He loved her, he cared about her, he wanted to see her happy and not get hurt by guys like that. He assumed she loved him, but she thought he was intrusive, annoying, _fucked up_ apparently, so there would lie the disconnect and make his dinner with her rightfully awkward. 

But, he’d do it for Isak. And for Ana, if just to tell her that she deserved better. He picked her up around six, actually dropping Isak off—bless his soul—to have dinner with his parents alone. He’d say Isak had it worse off, but he was still regretting his job for the evening as he pulled up to the restaurant with her.

They’d spent the car ride pretty quiet, just listening to the music that they both enjoyed on the radio, making little comments here and there about it. A little awkward, but probably the best ice breaker there was for the two of them. Music was always their common ground, so it was good to see that that hadn’t changed at least. 

“We’ll take a table for two, maybe one of those high tops?” Even asked the hostess as they walked into the restaurant. He looked at Ana. “That okay with you?” 

“Yeah, totally fine,” Ana nodded and then Even nodded at the hostess, who nodded back, pulling out two menus and leading the two of them to one of the high top tables Even had pointed at. They both thanked her as they sat down, picking up their menus and going quiet again until Ana spoke up. “Sooo, I’m assuming all of this has to do with dinner last week. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, Ana, I’m fine,” Even said with a little sigh, putting down his menu and closing it. He absolutely hated his behavior when he was manic. Generally, he didn’t remember it that well, it was just a warm blur that kind of burned, but he remembered the dinner and he really didn’t like that it made Ana ask him if he was okay. She was always trying to take care of him when he had episodes but he didn’t want his little sister taking care of him. “It was just some medication issues. I’m fine. But I’m sorry for how I acted, you know. I definitely could’ve done the protective older brother thing differently.” 

“Or you could’ve not at all,” Ana rebutled, raising an eyebrow and looking at him for a moment before going on. “But since that seems impossible for you… Well, I know you can’t really control things when you’re manic. But, you should know, the shit he said about you was shit. Literally, I don’t know why he said that, I would never say something like that. And I broke up with him because of it.” 

This was when the waitress interrupted, introducing herself and starting off with their drink orders. Even ordered quickly and held on to what she said, wanting to continue the conversation the moment the waitress walked away. And he did. 

“You broke up with him?” Even asked incredulously, watching Ana nod then raising an eyebrow again, “For me? Or for you? Because you should have for you, Ana, he was…” 

“I know,” Ana said shaking her head and opening up her menu again. “I wanted him to be better, it was kind of a test and he definitely failed. I mean, gross, I don’t want your hand in my lap with my mom sitting right there, that’s awkward as hell. No offense, because I know you and Isak have always been all touchy under the table and ew, but that is so not me and he wasn’t getting it.” 

“I’ll always tell you not to follow mine and Isak’s lead,” Even said with a little laugh, biting his lip and looking down for a moment. Obviously they weren’t always so discreet. Oops. They probably actually did set a terrible example for Ana and he probably regretted that now but he supposed they had to move forward. “We’re a really, really bad example because we’re so unique. Trust me, I would have never been like that with anyone else.” 

“So Mikael, Sonja? You didn’t sleep with them?” C’mon Even, I’m not stupid,” Ana shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Listen, I’m grown up now. Like, I’ve had sex. With James, Even and I broke up with him and I’m fine. I’ll move on, move forward. Stop worrying about me. I’m fine.” 

“You and...him,” Even choked on his own tongue and sat forward, feeling his cheeks heat up as he grew even more mad at James, “I’ll fucking kill him, Ana.” 

“You won’t though,” Ana said, reaching across the table and putting her hand on Even’s arm. “I broke up with him for you and for me. For me because, you’re right, I can do better and he’s just way too...ugh, whatever. But also because _no one_ is going to talk about my brother that way. Now he’s gone and we can move on. Stop being mad and accept it.” 

“Did he force himself on you?” 

“Nei, Even,” Ana sighed and looked down, awkwardly playing with her hands, “Listen, this is really weird to talk about with you, but I wanted to do it, so I did it. Maybe I regret it, maybe I don’t. That’s my problem, though, not yours. But...I mean, I guess if it makes you feel better, I don’t plan on sleeping around. I want what you and Isak have.” 

“It might not be my problem but I’m here for you and I care about you, a lot,” Even said, reaching across the table and stopping her nervous hands. He grabbed them and gave them a squeeze dropping them and smiling at her. He was still pissed, and he’d hope that he didn’t see that kid anytime soon, but he was trying to listen and look at her the way Isak had told him to. She was growing up, He had to accept it. Somehow. “And I really would love to see you find what Isak and I have.” 

“Yeah, maybe someday,” She sighed and looked down, letting her hair fall in front of her face and kind of breaking Even’s heart. She was obviously upset that James wasn’t _the one_ and now Even definitely wanted to kill him all over again. 

“Ana, are you sure you’re fine?” Even asked, taking her hand again and holding it this time. He knew the answer, he just wanted her to tell him so that he could be there for her. He didn’t really expect her to, though. “If you’re not, it’s okay, I’m here. Let’s talk about it. I know it sucks, trust me. It was hard when I broke up with Mikael, too.” 

“How long did it take you to get over it?” 

“I’m not going to lie, it was a little while,” Even said truthfully, “a couple months, maybe. But, I actually think you’re stronger than me, so you’ll get over it even sooner. I know it. Just keep reminding yourself that it’s going to get better. You’re going to find someone better who makes you happier.” 

“Thanks,” She said quietly and sniffled. Even squeeze her hand again and then let it go before bumping her chin with his knuckles. Generally the two of them were a little less lovey with each other so, that was probably as deep as it was going to get. Usually, they’d rather compete than get mushy, but this was good, Even was actually feeling good about the conversation—despite the burning urge to up and leave to kill _James_. He was glad Isak forced him into it, and he just hoped Isak’s dinner with his parents was at least half as good and not at all maddening.  
*

_Saturday, May 11_

“This kind of feels like deja vu, doesn’t it?” Even asked Isak as they walked up to Mutta’s front door, six packs of beer in hand. They could have just walked in, but Even turned to him. “Think of everyone who’s going to be here? It’s like a high school party all over again.” 

“It’s _not_ just high school friends, it’s them plus their significant others, plus Mats and who knows who else Mutta invited,” Isak shrugged and then looked over Even. Maybe there was a bit of a high school vibe about the party, but there was definitely nothing high school about his husband. He was definitely one hundred percent man. His shoulders filled out, making him less lanky, his perfect jaw somehow getting more perfect and now every-so-often shaded in a beard. “So, no high school drama. We’ve been fighting too damn long and I just want to drink with our friends but also give you kisses all night long.” 

“Define all night long,” Even said, smirking a little and stepping closer. 

“Hmm, at least three kisses every hour,” Isak challenged, stepping closer too and looking up at him. “And that can be one every twenty minutes or three in a row, but you better choose wisely.” 

“I think I can manage,” Even said with a little chuckle, tilting his head down and pecking Isak on the lips once, “And that doesn’t count. I just wanted to do that before we go inside. Or maybe just a little more…” 

“Make out sessions with heavy petting right outside the party? Maybe this is high school,” Isak laughed and reached up anyway, kissing Even again, slow and steady this time, lingering just enough for Isak to grip onto Even’s shirt and want more. When he pulled back, he reached out and patted down Even’s shirt. “Okay, ready? Like ready, ready? Because if you’re not up to it we can..” 

“I’m ready, Isak,” Even said, rolling his eyes and letting out a little chuckle. “Now, come on, our friends are waiting. And, chances are, at least three of them are just on the other side of this door, spying on us.” 

~

The party was good, not much like high school at first, but the more drunk everyone got, the more it regressed to high school-esque. It was everyone in the area, Mikael, Ebba, Vilde, Magnus, Chris, Mutta, Adam and his girlfriend, Yousef, Sana, Elias, Jonas, Sonja, Mats and Anita, and some people who Mutta and Chris knew. Children and babies all with sitters for once. Definitely not a casual get together.

At first it was just talking and drinking, sometimes reminiscing or filling in the newbies on some of their friends most embarrassing moments. And, that somehow lead to the drunken suggestion of truth or dare. “Adult Truth or Dare,” Jonas called it. Adult, because they were apparently old enough to do immature things and admit intimate things without being embarrassed. Which, Isak thought spilling truths and embarrassing people was the whole point of the game, but he wasn’t going to be the only one to say no, so he joined in. 

“Alright, yes, I admit it, I slept with her,” Jonas said, throwing his hands up in surrender and laughing. “Don’t worry, I got tested.”

“God, I hope you did,” Sonja said, shaking her head and pushing his shoulder playfully where she sat in his lap. 

“It’s not like you wouldn’t know,” Jonas laughed and then kissed her cheek before clapping his hands and grabbing his beer, “Alright, who’s the next victim...hmmm… Mats. Truth or dare?” 

“I knew you were going to pick me,” Mats groaned and then sipped his drink. They hadn’t gotten around to everyone yet, but there had been much more truths than dares. The only dare had been Chris daring Mutta to chase a shot of whiskey with a shot of hot sauce. Lame. And Isak probably wouldn’t be able to think up a good dare either, so he hoped whoever he picked, would pick truth. He watched Mats chew it over, but knew that he was going to pick truth. He would’ve picked him for that reason. “Alright, I’ll go truth.” 

“Okay...have you ever had a gay dream? I mean, I know you’re not gay, but you could totally have a gay dream every now and then,” Jonas said with a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows. Isak couldn’t help but roll his eyes, thinking that the answer was the obvious no and now sure why Jonas would ask in the first place. 

“Whaaat? No,” Mats shook his head and took a sip of his beer, looking around and landing back on Jonas. “Fine. Once. One time, that was it and I woke up and felt like I needed a shower so don’t get any ideas.” 

“Well, we all know it was about me, so let’s hear the details,” Jonas said with a smirk and then kissed Sonja’s cheek again before turning back to Mats with raised brows. Groaning when Mats gave him a look that screamed _no_ , he moved on, “Fiiine, okay, it’s your turn Mats, pick someone, anyone.” 

“Okay, ummmmm’Even,” Mats said with a little slur, sounding more like “Meven,” maybe one of the more drunk people at the party. Or else Isak was sure he wouldn’t have admitted to a gay dream.And Isak didn’t particularly like that he picked Even. Especially when this was the perfect excuse to get to learn something new about the new girl we was seeing. “Even, truth or dare?” 

“I see a pattern here and I probably shouldn’t, but I’m not taking shots of hot sauce so I’ll go for truth,” Even said being, as per usual, one of the most coherent of the bunch. He squeezed Isak and gave him a wet kiss to his temple. “And yes, I have had some seriously gay dreams before.”

“Okay, so gay nightmare,” Mats said, making himself burst into laughter, shaking his head and batting his hand out of the fit, “no, no okay. Truth. How about this….have you looked at, thought about, maybe even dreamt of someone other than Isak since you two have been together?”

“Mats,” Isak warned, feeling the implications behind his words and kind of clutching on to Even, just in case he felt them, too. “Everyone looks at other people, that’s a stupid question.” 

“Isak’s right, of course I have,” Even said with a little shrug. Isak looked up at him and knew that his eyes were kind of challenging Mats to say more about it. “Was there a point to the question?” 

“Well, I mean, I don’t see why _you_ could fantasize about other people,” Mats said, sounding more and more drunk as he went on. Anita wasn’t looking too impressed by it, either, so Isak figured this was probably the end of that. “But my buddy Isak here can’t. I mean, look at me, I’m a damn catch. He shouldn’t feel bad for his fantasies.” 

“Fantasies?” Mutta, Chris and Anita all asked at the same time, basically officially letting all their friends know about Isak’s indiscretion. He felt himself getting red, feeling mad at Mats for saying anything. He told him and he thought everything was okay, but now he was going to make problems? Fuck that, he didn’t want all this. He should have never told him. 

“Oh shit, so there really is trouble in paradise, huh?” Mikael asked, a smug smirk on his face, looking at the two of them almost triumphantly. “That’ll happen.” 

“Hey, we’re fine, this was _years_ ago,” Even said, sitting up more and rubbing Isak’s side comfortingly. Isak was kind of speechless, looking at Mikael and feeling a little threatened. So, he was so glad for Even. “And there’s a lot more to the story. Everyone mind your own damn business.”

“Well now I want to know the story,” Mutta said excitedly, sitting forward in his chair and looking at the boys. “Like, as much as Jonas wants to hear about Mats’ gay dream.”

“That’s not minding your own business,” Jonas said, leaning back in his chair and sighing. “Let’s not make this all about Even and Isak, come on. We’re all relevant here. We can get back to Mats.” 

“Let’s, uh, let you guys be relevant, then,” Isak said, standing up and patting Jonas on the shoulder as a little thank you for the subject change. Though, he was aware that Jonas was just mad that Mikael wasn’t focusing on him. “This game is really making me want to get away from you guys.” 

“Mutta, they’re totally about to have sex in your room,” Magnus warned as Isak took Even’s hand, pulling him up from the couch. He wobbled a little, but Even caught him, wrapping his arm around his waist so that they could get out of the room without incident. 

“I hate our friends,” Isak grumbled as they made it into the kitchen, alone. Even helped him up on the counter and then grabbed a water out of the fridge, handing it to him. “I mean, Mats. What the fuck was that? And Mikael is fucking...look at him. Why can’t they let us be happy, huh? I want you, I got you, and I am happy with you so they can fuck off.” 

“You’re right,” Even chuckled, reaching up and running his fingers through Isak’s locks a few times. “They can fuck off. All of them, Mikael and Mats especially. Are you okay? Drink some water.” 

“Yeah,” Isak said, drinking some water while Even continued to stroke his curls. He set it down and looked up into his eyes. “I have a truth to ask you.”

“It’s technically my turn, though.” 

“Do you have a truth to ask me?” Isak asked curiously, raising an eyebrow and reaching up to wrap his arms around Even’s neck. “If it has anything to do with Mats, no I don’t like him, I don’t want him, I want y—”

“It’s not about Mats,” Even said with a shrug, his lips turning up in just a little bit of a smirk. “Though, I do feel better now that he knows. Because he knows you chose me.” 

“And I would every time,” Isak said, reaching up and brushing their lips, but pulling away when Even responded with a kiss. “Nei, nei. Are you going to ask your truth because I’m going to forget mine. Hurry or I’m stealing your turn.” 

“It’s fine, you go,” Even said, smiling as his fingers locked into the hair on the back of Isak’s head, guiding his head back just a little to look up at him. “Ask me anything.” 

“Do you love me?” Isak asked then giggled. “Just kidding, I know the answer to that one. Nei, nei, serious. I always have been on the edge of this and I can’t figure it out because sometimes you’re okay with it and sometimes your not and but now I’m done fighting but I want to talk, you know?” 

“Nei? What are we talking about?” 

“I wanna talk about your episode, Even,” Isak said, drunkenly not understanding how Even wasn’t getting it. “But I don’t want you to be mad at me for bringing it up because I know it’s like...you say it’s you and not you and so if you say something that is like, bad or something, is it you now or is it not because I don’t know. Especially now with the medicine because I pushed you to do that so I don’t want to push, you know?” 

“How many times do I have to tell you we can talk about anything?” Even asked, sliding his hand to his cheek and stroking it with his thumb as the other ran down his back, pulling him closer to the edge of the counter. “Especially if it’s bugging you. It’s just timing. Like now. Now’s not a good time because we should be sober if this is serious. It’s serious?” 

“Nei,” Isak sighed, looking into Even eyes, watching them fill up with a little fear over what he had done. “I know. I know the answer. I just need to hear you say it.” 

“Then ask me to say it,” Even said with certainty, but then less certain, “Or what did I say?”

“It was a lot, but the whole overview would be that you want _us_ to,” Isak couldn’t help but make a face and shake his head in disgust before he could even get it out. “..Sorry, it’s just so gross because it’s _Mikael_ and it’s _her_ and I was so done with that when it was happening with Jonas and Sonja. But I’d do anything for you if you were...unfulfilled.” 

“Wait, Isak,” Even said, his eyebrows pushing together dramatically as he looked at Isak like he had three heads, “Unfulfilled? By you? Never. And, if you’re getting at what I think you’re getting at… If I said I wanted us to have sex with them...nei. I don’t want that.” 

“So you don’t wonder if Mikael has gotten better in bed?” 

“Fuck, did I say that too?” Even asked, backing up and letting go of Isak, running his fingers through his hair and looking at Isak. “Baby, no, no, no. He probably has, we all have. But I don’t care to find out. He’s just not in my radar anymore. Not like that.” 

“You didn’t say that so much as—what’s the word I’m looking for?—oh, imply. You implied it...” Isak said, reaching back out for Even, wanting his arms wrapped around him again. “Don’t beat yourself up over anything you said, though. Like _I_ said, I knew the answer. I just wanted to hear it.” 

“And now I want to prove how fulfilled I am,” Even said with a smirk, “Let’s go find a room with a lock on it. I’ll make sure we’re both fulfilled, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post this last week but I was writing it at work and yeah no someone found it and anyway it made me stop for a second.  
> But yeah damn lots of shit going on in this chapter. comments and kudos always welcome.


	6. I Get By

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Realllllllly sorry it's been so long but I had family visiting and it was impossible to write but I've got a lot planned for this so I'm still chugging away at it.   
> Thank you for reading and enjoying<3

_Sunday, May 12_

“Isak, when then hell did Jonas get here?” Even asked, bursting into the room and waking Isak out of his sleep. Even must’ve slid his pillow into Isak’s arms before leaving the room, because Isak was still clutching it as he rolled over. He hadn’t felt him leave, or else he definitely would have told him that Jonas was asleep on their couch and not to go out there completely nude. He watched, a little dazed as Even angrily put on his boxers and went on, “Seriously, you could have warned me.”

“Sorry,” Isak sighed, sitting up and setting Even’s pillow off to the side. “I guess he and Sonja were fighting, I don’t know.”

“They don’t live together, why did he have to come here?” Even asked, walking over to the bed and sitting next to Isak. He was mad, but not that mad, so Isak scooted closer and rested his sleepy head on his shoulder.

“She was at his place and you know they don’t kick each other out,” Isak said, with his head on Even’s warm shoulder and his scent filling his nose, feeling like he could pass out all over again. “It’s part of their rules or whatever. I don’t know. I didn’t think it’d be a problem if he stayed the night. I would have warned you but you’re so sneaky getting out of bed.”

“Well, I wanted to surprise my husband with a breakfast in bed,” Even said gently, all the anger falling out of his voice as he rested his head on Isak’s and wrapped his arm around him. “Instead, I surprised Jonas with a semi. Really, a great way to start off my day.”

“More like a great way for him to start _his_ day,” Isak said, mustering a little laugh amongst the sleepiness. He definitely wasn’t jealous or anything, because if they got jealous every time Jonas intruded and saw one of them indecent, then they’d never be happy. Jonas was ever-present, and seeing them indecent was practically his specialty at that point. “Would’ve been a great way for me to start my day, too. Breakfast in bed or your dick, both are valid ways to wake me up.”

“Well, go kick Jonas out and I’ll give you both,” Even said, pulling back and putting a hand under Isak’s chin to keep his head up. He was pulled far enough away that Isak could look in his eyes; he was serious, looking at Isak with pleading eyes. “Please? I wanted today to be just us. We need a break from our friends.”

“Okay, yeah, you’re right, a break would probably be a good idea,” Isak said with a nod, thinking about the remainder of their night at Mutta’s party and then the Saturday night they had at the bar with Magnus, Elias, and a few of their friends. They weren’t bad nights, they had fun with their friends, there were just frustrating moments and Even and Isak were getting tired of those. It felt like there had been enough fighting and enough tension to last a lifetime because all that really just wasn’t them. Of course, not spending time with their friends really wasn’t them, either. “But we probably shouldn’t for too long because then we’ll go away and come back with a baby and have no time for them.”

“I know Baby,” Even said, the corners of his mouth pushing down just a little, “but, we still have time and right now _we_ need our own time. I told work I couldn’t be on call today because I wanted to spend it with you. At least give me today.” 

“Even, I’ll give you more than a day,” Isak told him truthfully. To this day, he was always feeling bad about leaving Magnus or Jonas hanging when they needed him, but he knew that it was Even that mattered in the long run. Even came first. They knew that even if they resented it.. “It can be just you and me for as long as you think is necessary. I don’t mind.” 

“So you’ll get Jonas to leave?” Even asked, raising his eyebrows, “Because, I know he’s your best friend, but I’m pretty sure Husband pulls rank here.” 

“Consider him gone,” Isak said with a nod and then moved a little closer, saying a little quieter, “and _you’re_ my best friend.” 

“Glad you still think so,” Even said with a little smirk, leaning in and brushing his lips against Isak’s in a teasing fashion. “Now, put on some boxers and go kick out your friend. I’ve got a whole day planned. And I’ve even scheduled you doing some schoolwork after dinner tonight.” 

“A man with a plan, I like that,” Isak said, smiling at him. He was still sleepy, but he was awake enough to get moving. A little coffee and he’d be ready to go. So, he kissed Even’s cheek and got up, walking over to his dresser. “And, yes, I’ll put on my boxers because unlike _some_ people, I don’t go around flashing our guests.” 

“I can’t deny the constant urge to walk everywhere naked,” Even said, getting up, too and walking over to the door, “And, I’ve done that before,” he laughed and shook his head, “I’m going to go get coffee and breakfast started. Feel free to lay back down once the freeloader is gone.” 

Isak rolled his eyes, pulling on a shirt and his boxers before heading out the door. He watched Even walk past Jonas this time, not acknowledging him as he walked through to the kitchen. Jonas was sitting up, blanket around his shoulders, and had been watching TV. A talk show of some sort. He looked from the TV to Even, watching him walk past and then raised his eyebrows at Isak as he walked in the room. Obviously he knew Isak was going to say something about what he’d just seen, because he opened his mouth to talk but Isak put out a finger and shook his head, stopping him. 

“If you’re about to say something about my Husband’s dick, don’t,” He told him, walking over and sitting on the edge of the couch, pushing Jonas’ feet away. “Anyway, I’m glad I could be of service letting you crash here last night, but if Sonja is occupying your house, you’ve gotta go deal with that. Plus, Even and I have plans.” 

“Romantic plans? Sonja and I should double, that’d be a good way to help make up,” Jonas said, nodding and looking at him. 

“Nei, Jonas, Even and I have had a hard time lately and we just want time to ourselves,” Isak said, pulling the blanket off Jonas’ shoulder and standing up, starting to fold it. “So, get out, go talk to Sonja. Out, out, out, out, out.” 

“C’mon, man—”

“Out,” Isak said, putting his hands on his hips and looking at him with raised eyebrows. 

“Yeah, okay, whatever, I’ll leave but I can’t promise I’ll talk to her,” Jonas groaned, getting up and walking over to his shoes. He slid them on and looked over at Isak. “I’ll text you later, then.” 

“Sounds good,” Isak said with a nod, proud of himself for how authoritative he was being. Jonas was actually listening to him, and Isak didn’t even need to enlist in Even’s help. He grabbed Jonas’ phone for him off the counter and handed it over before he began walking him to the door, “And, seriously, get his dick out of your mind.”

“You guys are no fun.”

 

_Tuesday, May 14_

Isak was at his residency around lunch time, heading towards the break room and praying to not run into Mats when he was pulled into an empty side room by Mats himself. Isak was kind of ignoring him since Mutta’s party. It wasn’t that he was angry with him, per say, it was more like he wasn’t sure what his deal was and given Isak’s history, distance seemed to be the best option at the time. He thought maybe Mats needed some time to adjust to the idea that Isak used to look at him _that way_. So, he decided that he and Even taking a break from their friends was the perfect time to give him that adjustment period.

“Dude, why are you avoiding me?” Mats asked as he closed the door to the room, leaving them alone to have the conversation. Not that Isak was sure he wanted to have it.

“Uh, are you forgetting about Friday night?” Isak asked, walking towards the window in the room and looking out onto the courtyard. He felt awkward being in the room alone with him and he never would have felt that way before. He honestly regretted ever telling him about the crush, it was ruining everything and it was _dead_. Over. “You were basically attacking Even. And over what? I don’t even know. I told you about that stupid crush to make things better, not worse.”

“Isak, c’mon man, I was trying to stand up for you,” Mats said, walking over to Isak and putting his hand on his shoulder. Isak shook it off because he didn’t want Mats touching him at all. “Besides, I was drunk. I didn’t mean anything by it. Seriously.”

“Even’s my husband, I don’t need you standing up to him for me, I’ve got that covered,” Isak said, looking him in the eye now, trying to make sure that he came off as serious as possible. “And if this is going to be a thing where you’re going to bring this up every time you’re drunk, then I can’t get drunk with you.”

“OKay, but see, that’s _exactly_ what I don’t get,” Mats said, shaking his head and hopping up on the windowsill. He patted the spot next to him, “Sit, hear me out.”

Isak hesitantly obliged, sitting as far away from him as possible. He eyed him suspiciously, though he was pretty sure what direction this conversation was going in. He was going to say Even was being controlling or something—and if it went in an abusive direction, Isak might have to lose his shit but he didn’t think he’d say that—and Isak was going to have to explain that no, that definitely was not the case. So, they’d have to fight about it and he knew how stubborn Mats could be so Isak was basically banking on a this being a total mess.

“Seriously, you’re going to sit… okay, whatever,” Mats sighed and turned to him, sliding closer to him on the windowsill, though still somewhat respecting his space. “You and Even both admitted it. Everyone notices other people, fantasizes about other people, and yet...you get a little crush on me and that’s something that messes up your relationship? You never acted on it so that’s stupid. And I’m mad that you let him be mad about it. You can’t let him walk all over you.” 

“Okay, everyone may do that but this was way different,” Isak leaned his head back and looked at him, feeling like it was dangerous digging into this with Mats, especially with the vibe he was getting. He just didn’t know how else he’d understand. So he took a deep breath and went for it. “Even and I, we notice hot people and we don’t hide it. We point it out, we agree, maybe make a joke about it, and then we move on. It’s harmless. But I kept this from him, I let it fester, I didn’t move on. I was basically mentally cheating, hoping our hands would brush and there’d be some spark or some stupid shit like that. I don’t know if I would have, but I could have left him. It’s basically the stupidest I’ve ever been.” 

“That’s not stupid,” Mats said, reaching his hand back out to touch Isak’s shoulder, but stopping when Isak gave him a look. He lifted it up to run through his hair instead and then sighed, “You know I root for you and Even... but all that’s totally normal. You’ve basically only ever been with him, it’s natural to wonder about other people. I think Even should have been more understanding of that.” 

“Mats, you’re fighting a battle that’s over, that’s been over, you’re even using past tense because you _know_ that,” Isak said, standing up and putting his hands on his hips. “Even does have his own valid feelings about that but that’s not what this is about. Why are you so hooked on this when Even and I are so over it, huh?” 

“It’s new to me, I don’t know,” Mats said, sighing, standing up and stepping pretty close to Isak. Too close than was currently comfortable. “I wish I could have known then. I mean, you know, because I would have totally talked him out of being mad at you and all. Because it’s totally bogus.” 

“Yeah, okay, listen,” Isak said, stepping back and then rolling on the balls of his feet as he brought himself to just say it, “I’m just going to say this and you don’t have to confirm or deny anything. But, I know what a guy questioning his sexuality looks like. And, I’m sorry if that’s happening and me telling you about my past feelings triggered that, but this whole situation is over. So long gone. It may get brought up from time to time, but for the most part, it’s all dusty and old and forgotten in the closet or whatever metaphor you want to use. Even and I are strong and I would never be your, or anyone else’s experiment. Ever. Because I don’t wonder. Even is everything I need.” 

“Isak, I’m not questioning—” 

“Like I said, I know what it looks like, but you don’t have to confirm or deny,” Isak said, stepping back once again and nodding his head. “Think about it, maybe hit a gay bar, get a blow job, suck a dick, I don’t know. But, I need space and time with Even. Like a week. Give it a week. And, figure your shit out or don’t, we can still be friends. But just that. Oh, and don’t lead Anita on, she’s a nice girl.” 

Isak gave him one last nod, a salute, and then spun around, walking out of the room and closing the door behind him. His heart was beating fast but felt really good about it, really proud of himself. He couldn’t wait to tell Even about it, and knew most people would probably wait for dinner at home, but he wanted to tell him now, so he headed towards reception and then out of the building, pulling out his phone and calling him. 

“Hey Is, what’s up?” Even asked as he picked up the other line. “Do they have something exciting in the for lunch?”

“Nei,” Isak said, finding a nice little bench to sit on outside. “I just ran into Mats and I totally confronted him and I feel great and I wanted to tell you about it.” 

“Well that’s amazing, Babe,” Even said on the other line, sounding almost as excited as Isak was. “What did you say to him? Where did you guys land?” 

“I told him I needed some space and that he needed to figure things out,” Isak told him, looking up at the sky and smiling to himself. It was such a nice day, he wished he could spend it outside with Even. Back in the day he may have skipped and gone skateboarding with the boys, smoking with Jonas or Ada,, or shopping with Eva and Eskild. He never found himself skipping anything anymore. They had schedules and plans and they stuck to them. “I mean, I’m not going to ice him out for long or anything. We’re still friends. Or I still want to be friends. I just don’t want him doing more of whatever that was at Mutta’s party. And I want him to think about it.” 

“I think you’ve made a very mature decision, love,” Even said on the other line. “He didn’t say anything about what he feels?” 

“He says he’s not questioning anything,” Isak said, knowing that specifics was really the first thing Even wanted, but there wasn’t any at that point in time and they of all people needed to accept that.“Hey, how busy are you? We should skip out on the rest of the day and have a picnic somewhere. It’s so nice out.” 

“I really shouldn’t... but I was just looking outside thinking the same thing,” Even sighed on the other line. He was more of the stickler of the two of them when it came to attendance now-a-days. Mostly due to the higher consequences, but Isak was pretty good at peer pressure and he’d help him make a cover. And Even knew that, “Fuck it, I’ll come pick you up. See you in ten.” 

 

_Wednesday, May 15_

Isak felt Even start to move as their alarm sounded, but Isak immediately gripped tighter onto him, trying to keep him still. He was warm, they were comfortable and it was early, and that Wednesday was going to be one of the long ones for Isak. Complying to the alarm meant leaving the warmth and comfort for the cruel world and a day of judgement on his ability to be a good therapist, worker, whatever they were actually testing him on.

He didn’t want to, so he held on tight, whining as Even kept moving, turning off the alarm and wriggling in his arms to try to get loose.

“No, bed, let’s stay in bed,” Isak grumbled, hitching a leg around him now, too. “It’s too early, you’re warm, and I’m way too comfy. Please. Five more minutes.”

“Fine, five more minutes,” Even said, encircling his arms back around Isak and kissing his forehead. Much too gentle if he wanted him to get up anytime soon, but Isak wouldn’t complain. “But you’re going to work today and you’re going to have a great day.”

“Ev, it’s too early to be that optimistic,” Isak sighed, moving to duck his head into Even’s neck. He felt Even’s laugh rumble through his body, hearing it roll off his tongue as if Isak not wanting to get up was the funniest thing in the world at that moment. “Hey, I’m serious. Today’s going to be hell and you know it.”

“It won’t, and as always, I’m going to be an amazing husband and do everything I can to alleviate the stress,” Even said soothingly, running his hand up Isak’s back and letting his lips brush against the top of Isak’s head. “Starting with this five minutes.” 

“Make it ten, and I promise to get up,” Isak said—really more like mumbled—as he felt himself falling back asleep under Even’s soft touches. Maybe he could make five turn into ten, ten into fifteen… 

“Nei Baby,” Even said, squeezing him and chuckling again. “But I’ll go as high as seven and a half minutes. Just because I know this is also about Mats and not wanting to run into him after your talk yesterday. But, don’t worry, I know you. You’ll be fine, your confidence yesterday was absolutely radiant. I’m sure it’ll shine through today.” 

“It’s too early for you to be poetic,” Isak groaned and nuzzled his head against his chest, deciding not to address anything about Mats. He was going to be sticking to his decision on this one, and he may have been hard to avoid but it really wasn’t impossible. And then it’d pass. Hopefully. “But I’ll go for seven and a half.” 

“Okay Baby, seven and a half.”  
~

**~Sana**

_so Mats tells me you’re freezing him out 19:22_

_I’m freezing out everyone right now, not just Mats._   
_Besides you, of course 19:25_

_okay but Mats told me about the conversation you two had. 19:27_

_I’m sorry, why is he coming to you about this?_   
_ 19:28 _

_Hey, us science nerds all stick together, you know this. 19:32_

_fair._   
_what did he tell you about it?_   
_ 19:34 _

_Everything, pretty much._  
 _Don’t you think that you need to be there for him if he’s questioning his sexuality? I mean, you’ve been through it. You know it well. And, you had Even. He really doesn’t have anyone. 19:36_

_did he say that he really is? I mean, I was just suggesting…_   
_ 19:40 _

_I just think he’s confused. But you shouldn’t be avoiding him 19:41_

_Idk. Won’t be for much longer anyway._   
_ 19:42 _

“Hey Ev?” Isak asked from where he had been lying on the couch. It was the end of a long day for him so he had just been lounging and flipping through channels aimlessly when Sana texted him. Even was across the room doing some editing, but he stopped, turning around and giving Isak his attention. “About the whole Mats situation. You don’t think I was hard on him? Or that I should be there for him?”

“I think you were standing up for yourself and for what you need with him,” Even said with a little shrug before leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “How is that hard on him? What do you need to be there for?” 

“Well, you don’t think he’s like _actually_ questioning his sexuality, do you?” Isak asked, his phone vibrating in his pocket with another text from Sana. Probably calling him a dick or something for being so aloof. “I mean, if he is then shouldn’t we do something? Help him through it or whatever?”

“I don’t think he’s gay in any capacity,” Even told him, getting up and walking over to the couch. He picked up Isak’s legs and sat down, placing them over his lap, so Isak sat up and scooted closer until he could wrap his arms around Even’s neck. “He might have some questions right now but he’s just not. Really, he’s probably never thought about the idea of a guy liking him. Especially a guy he knows and likes to spend time with. The reality was probably shocking.” 

“So, in any case, it’s my fault then,” Isak said with a sigh, letting his head fall onto Even’s shoulder, his forehead resting there. He didn’t want to be the one confusing Mats. He should have just kept everything to himself. “How on earth do you go through life without thinking about this stuff, anyway?” 

“Straight guys are weird, Babe,” Even said, running his hands comfortingly down Isak’s back. He rubbed it in circles and kissed his head a couple of times. “It’s not your fault that Mats likes the attention. It’s because he likes the attention that he’s questioning things to begin with. He’s probably thinking that if it weren’t for me...you two would be together or something.” 

“Well if he thinks that and is okay with that, then he’d be gay,” Isak said but then added, “or some variation, at least.” 

“In theory, I guess, yeah,” Even said, putting a finger under Isak’s chin and lifting his head so that he could look at him. “But it’s Mats. He’s not gay, and he’s going to figure it out on his own. We don’t need to guide him. So, stop the worrying, my love. Everything will be back to normal in no time.” 

“What if he is gay though?” Isak asked, looking at Even with a bit of worry. “I mean are you going to be going around thinking I’m going to leave you for him? Because, even if he is, I’m not. You’re the only one that I want.” 

“I know, Is,” Even said with a smile, giving him a few kisses. “But thanks for the reminder.” 

 

_Thursday, May 16_

“I can’t believe he told you.” 

“I can’t believe _you_ told him?” Isak said, though it came out as more of a question. He couldn’t believe Ana told Even she’d had sex with James. He couldn’t believe Even hadn’t killed anyone over it. It was so abrupt and surreal that Isak almost felt like it had to be a lie and if it wasn’t, he had a few questions. “I mean, what possessed you? Did you decide you wanted to die or what?” 

“What possessed me…” Ana said fake-thoughtfully, tapping her chin and making it a little show before looking at Isak and giving him a cutesy shrug and smile. “Dunno but he’s fine. It’s all fine.” 

“Yeah, okay, fine,” Isak said, rubbing his face and then looking at her, “But, listen...the last we talked about this, you weren’t on the pill or anything. I didn’t think you had...gone through with it yet, I guess. So, I’ve gotta ask about contraception or if we should take tests or something?” 

“Jesus, Isak,” Ana said, defiant and sassy as she stood up and grabbed her purse, fishing something out and then tossing it at Isak. Isak didn’t have to be a girl or even sleep with girls to know that the little pouch contained a generic birth control pill. Effective but still not the entire question Isak was asking. “I’m not stupid.” 

“Well, what about a condom?” Isak asked, tossing her pills back over to her. He leaned on her desk and crossed his arms, knowing this was weird and awkward and really not his job, but he cared too much not to say something. “Because, I mean, you were sleeping with everyone he’s ever slept with.” 

“Oh my god, Isak can we please stop talking about this?” Ana groaned and then stood up. “Like, seriously, I’m about to leave the room. I’d rather help Mom stir the soup or set the table or whatever.”

“If you leave without answering that question then I’ll invite Even in here and we’ll make out in your bed,” Isak shrugged walking over to the bed, sitting on the edge and petting the comforter, “and you’ll have to sleep in it knowing we were rolling around, sweating, getting all physical on your mattress. Hmm, maybe it’ll repulse you enough not to have sex in it..” 

“Alright, Isak, fine,” Ana groaned throwing, her hands up in the air and then walking over to the bed. She spoke in a hushed but serious tone, squinting her eyes and furrowing her eyebrows. “No condoms were used because no sex was had, okay? I told Even that because I’m sick of it. I’m an adult. I’ll be having sex if I want to and he can’t just be going around beating up my boyfriends just because they get a little handsy. I figured if I’m no longer innocent in his eyes, then all of that can stop.” 

“I knew it!” Isak said, finally feeling triumphant—and honestly a little relieved. “I knew there was no way you wouldn’t have told me. I’d tell you that I didn’t want to hear it, then you’d talk my ear off... I knew it... You know, if he had gone out and killed James, it would’ve been all your fault.” 

“But he didn’t so the whole thing was a success...” 

Her thought was interrupted by a knock on the door and Even’s voice on the other side, “Hey guys, can I come in?” 

“Of course, Baby,” Isak said, immediately getting up and opening up the door for him. “After the news, I was just confirming that, you know, we’re the only Bech Næsheim’s having a baby anytime soon. And, your sister is smart and knows what she’s doing.”

“And he threatened me with the idea of you guys getting physical in my bed,” Ana said, making a face. 

“Gross, I wouldn’t do that,” Even said, making his own face then pulling Isak in. “Sorry, Is, but you’ll have to come up with a better threat because that’s way out of the cards. We’re way too dirty for me to be comfortable with that.” 

“I didn’t say we'd have sex, I said make out!” 

“Okay, I’m uncomfortable so I’m going to change the subject,” Ana said moving to sit up against her headboard. “So, speaking of babies and your whole plan here, we haven’t discussed the idea of me coming and visiting you guys out there. How awesome would that be?” 

“Who said you're allowed to visit?” Even asked, raising his eyebrows at her. “Sounds like a recipe for trouble.” 

“If anything, I think it'd be good for me,” Ana said with a prominent nod, crossing her arms across her chest to punctuate her statement. “I mean, don't you want to get me away from these Norwegian boys, Ev?” 

“Oh please, we all know that American boys are ten times worse. We've all seen the movies,” Even told her, squeezing Isak and looking at him with a playful smirk. “I'll probably even have to keep your leash short with all those guys who'll be after you.” 

“They'll be very disappointed, because I'm too in love with my very Norwegian husband,” Isak told him with a smile, pecking his lips once. “But keep the leash short anyway, I don't like being too far away from you.” 

“Uh, hello guys, this was about me visiting you in the States so I can get some culture, not some dick,” Ana groaned and then walked over to her door. “Nor was it about you guys who are obviously not being seduced by anyone other than each other, ever. So, conversation over, for now anyway. Even if I have to save up on my own, I'm going out there to see you guys.” 

“Okay Ana, you can visit us,” Isak said with a shrug. 

“She can?” Even asked with a raised brow. 

“Just for like a week, it'll be fine,” Isak said and waved him off, pulling back and walking over to the door as Ana opened it. “Don't worry, we'll talk about it, now come on, dinner's probably soon and I'm sure Josefine needs help with something.”

“Ana, I don’t know what’s spell you’ve put on my husband, but I’m going to have to ask you to take it off,” Even said cutely, messing up the Ana’s hair as he passed by then gripping onto Isak’s hips from behind as he followed him down the hall.

 

_Saturday, May 18_

Isak had continuously delayed taking the anxiety medication he was prescribed. But, this time, he had talked to Even about it, and they were on the same page. They had come to an agreement that they both liked. He would take it, see how things went, and go from there. At least an entire months prescription, provided there weren’t any bad side effects. 

He took his first pill Friday night, and it wasn’t much to his surprise to find himself waking up the next morning nauseous. He knew it from his classes, studies, and also from experience with Even’s medication. These kinds of medications were working with your body chemistry, and sometimes it could take a couple days to get used to it. Which was why he decided Friday night was the best idea. Saturday was wide open for him to be feeling shitty and emotionally unstable. 

Of course, he’d kind of hoped that he’d be able to skip that part. Not _everyone_ had these kinds of reactions. He would have loved to be a part of that group of people. Though, he wasn’t surprised that he wasn’t.

He knew it was still early because the sun had barely risen, but he was wide awake with the feeling. His stomach was turning and there was a permanent lump in his throat telling him he was probably going to throw up. He rolled over, away from Even towards the edge of the bed, grabbing at his stomach and staring at the wall across from him. 

He had already tried to fall back asleep, not focus on the nausea, but he couldn’t. And, it was almost like the more he thought about it, the worse it became. The worst part, though, was that he didn’t think he was actually going to puke. If he was, he would have already, he was almost sure of that. And he would probably feel better if he could. It was almost like the anxiety medication was giving him anxiety over the side effects or something. Maybe he was too in his head; he basically felt like he had poisoned himself. It’d probably be worth it, but it really didn’t fucking feel like it right then and it was only a guess to how long it would take to get him feeling better. 

“You’re awake,” Even suddenly said, his voice quiet and scratchy but breaking the silence efficiently, also almost effectively making Isak forget about his stomach for a second. He felt him move closer as he said the words, moving right to the edge of the bed with Isak and wrapping his arms around him so that they were spooning, “Is everything okay?” 

“Jus’not feeling great,” Isak mumbled, taking the arm Even had over top of him and lifting it to kiss the back of his palm and his wrist. “Go back to sleep. I’m fine.” 

“Mhm,” Even said, not sounding convinced. Isak felt Even’s nose and lips, nuzzling his hair and kissing the back of his neck. “Are you sick?” 

“Nei, I think it’s the medication,” Isak sighed, slowly turning himself in Even’s arms, feeling his stomach groan in protest to the movement. He nuzzled back into his neck and brushed his lips against the skin there, grateful to be focusing on Even and not himself. “I’ll cut it in half tonight and work my way up to the actual dose and everything will be perfect.” 

“Good idea,” Even said quietly before slowly pulling away. “But, in the meantime, I know exactly what to do. So, yes, we’ll go back to sleep and we can even sleep as far into the day as you want. But first, a detour. I’ll be right back.” 

“Even, don’t get up for me...” Isak had started to protest, a week grip on Even’s arm as his husband pulled back and basically jumped directly out of bed. “Baby…” 

Isak sat up and watched Even leave the room without another word. He should have lied and said that he was thinking about being a Dad, or thinking about Mats or Eva or something and it was keeping him up. Then Even would have just talked a little to try to reassure him and he’d go back to sleep. But, he was honest and now Even was going to deprive himself of sleep to try to give Isak the world, as if that would help the pain. And Isak wished it would, but he knew the science, the statistics. So, Even getting up and disturbing his own sleep patterns was going to be worthless. Though it would always make Isak feel warm and fuzzy to have Even taking care of him. 

Propping his pillow behind his back, he leaned against the headboard, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. He just waited, focusing on the ever-present pressure at the back of his throat, telling him he was on the verge of something terrible. Maybe he just wasn’t throwing up because there was nothing to throw up, maybe he needed to eat so he could throw up. Maybe that’s what Even was doing. 

“Okay baby, it’s only like barely six, so we’re definitely getting you back to sleep,” Even said as he came back into the room. Isak opened his eyes and watched him unload the contents in his arms onto the bed. “It’s just going to take a little something. So, I got weed, I’m boiling some water for sleepy time tea, and we’re going to project some mindless television onto the ceiling for optimal distraction. What do you think, early seasons Family Guy or the Simpsons?” 

“You like the Simpsons better so that,” Isak said, sitting up and grabbing the baggie of weed and rolling papers while Even set up the projector. He was suddenly and definitely on board with Even’s method of mass distraction and sleep. He shouldn’t have underestimated him. “You didn’t have to do all this.” 

“Oh please,” Even rolled his eyes turning the projector on then going to his laptop to find the show so they could watch it. “You’ve helped me through countless episodes, Down Days, the testing of _my_ medication. This is the least I can do for you. So hush.” 

“Hushing,” Isak said, starting to roll some joint for them. If he smoked enough, he knew that’d probably do the trick on it’s own, so he was definitely going to roll more than necessary. “I’m not smoking alone, am I?” 

“Just the fact that you’re condoning it makes that answer a solid no,” Even said, laughing a little to himself. It was barely six in the morning and he was somehow so lively. He’d been awake for a shorter time than Isak but was ten times more awake. Isak was amazed underneath the fog of nausea as he sloppily rolled the joints for the two of them. “I could have done that, too. But, apparently you’re too eager. You should start smoking though, I’m going to go check on the water for the tea, I’ll be right back.”

“Thank you Evi, I love you so much,” Isak said pathetically, giving him a small smile as he watched him leave again. He leaned back again and lit one of the joints, agreeing with Even that he should start. Anything to put his stomach at ease. An episode of the Simpsons started projecting over him so he watched and smoked while he waited on Even’s return. 

Isak was just a few puffs in when Even re-entered the room. He was already starting to feel the effects though, his mind feeling light and rightfully foggy and his stomach pains were beginning to alleviate. Isak smiled at Even and thanked him again as he took his tea from him. Even crawled back into bed next to him with his own tea, setting it on his nightstand and taking the joint from Isak.

Isak watched him smoke while he sipped his tea, watching his jaw and his lips and the muscle in his arm while he held it up. Isak was so grateful and so lucky to have him there. To have him enjoy waiting on Isak and to have such pretty eye candy to look at when he wasn’t able to sleep. It was definitely a life Young Isak would be jealous of and aspiring to. 

The two of them passed the joint and sipped their tea with little talking. They moved closer together, though, and by the end of the second joint—smoked mostly by Isak—then were tangled up together. He had drank as much of the tea that it felt like his stomach could hold and just kept smoking with his head on Even’s shoulder. Feeling nothing but relaxed as Even stroked his hair on the back of his head and rubbed his stomach, Isak eventually started to doze off again. 

*  
Isak was much more angelic than normal when he was sick. Normally he was sassy and stubborn amongst his neediness, cute and annoying in the best ways. Sick, though, Isak was thankful. Everything and anything Even did elicited a smile and eternal gratitude. Really, it was because being sick made Isak feel weak. So, usually when he was being needy, he really could manage on his own, he just didn’t want to. But, when he was sick and needy, he was worried about not being able to manage on his own. So he was apologizing and thanking Even, even calling him that wretched nickname, _Evi_ , that Even would only ever allow Isak to call him.

It was cute, he was adorable and Even was going to make sure he had the world. He would do anything to get rid of Isak’s pain. Especially because he’d been there, he knew what it was like and it sucked. He just hoped that it would pass, that this wasn’t just the first in a long line of test medication to handle Isak’s anxiety. Isak seemed pretty confident in it though, so Even had his fingers crossed that he was right. 

After their middle-of-the-night tea and smoke, the two of them slept pretty much into the morning. Even woke up against around ten, laying in bed and holding Isak for an hour or so until Isak woke up around eleven-thirty. They’d been spooning and Even was rubbing Isak’s stomach, so he had felt the sudden gurgle in his stomach right before Isak was suddenly lurching up out of bed and exiting the room. 

Even lept after him, chasing him into the bathroom and rubbing his back while Isak dry heaved over the toilet. He just coo’d and did anything he could to soothe him. And, when Isak assured him it was through, he helped him strip down and sat him in the shower, letting the water run down on him. 

“I think you need something in your system,” Even told him leaning in and giving him a kiss on the top of the head, letting his own head get wet in the process. “So, I’m going to roll you another joint and find you some easy food options. You can stay here until you think you’ve had enough, though.” 

“I just need a rinse,” Isak mumbled, slowly standing up and pulling the shower curtain closed. “I won’t be too long. Thank you so much, Baby. For everything.” 

“You don’t need to thank me, Isak, I love you,” Even said, reaching past the curtain and squeezing his shoulder before heading to the door. “Take your time.”   
~ 

Even and Isak were curled up on the couch with another joint, the last Isak said he’d allow Even for the day. Although Even could argue that if it was going to do damage that it had been done, he wasn’t going to actually argue with Isak about it. Not when he was being such an angel, he wouldn’t do shit to ruin that. Besides, other than Isak feeling shitty, they really had an amazing day together. 

They had cuddled and watched movies all day long, talking about their future children and family. The trips they would take together, all of the opportunities they wanted to give their kids, and just everything fun and bright they could think of in between. 

“It won’t always been fun, I mean, think about all of this with Ana right now,” Isak said quietly, as if he hadn’t really wanted to say it, to think of the harder times that they might have. Or maybe he just didn’t want to jinx it. “Our kids will have times like this and we’re going to have to deal with it. Better than we deal with it with her, anyway.” 

“All I know is that when there are hard times, we’ll deal with it together,” Even said into Isak’s ear. They were so incredibly close and mostly unable to move with the limited room they had on the couch, but it was so comfortable there with Isak. “We’ve kind of done the Ana thing separately. Maybe that’s where we went wrong.” 

“You make it sound like we failed her,” Isak said with a little laugh, shaking his head and turning it to the side a bit to look at him. He handed Even the joint and then pulled back just a little bit to look at him better. “Just because she’s having sex doesn’t mean things went wrong or that we’ve failed her. And, she’s not even doing it actively..”

“I know all of that, don’t worry.” 

“Good, because she’s still your baby sister and I still expect you to be protective,” Isak told him, he definitely seemed to be feeling better, whether it was his body starting to adjust, or all the weed, Even didn’t know, but he’d take it. “Except, I still stress that we don’t beat up teenage boys.” 

“Okay, ha-ha, very funny, but I know that too,” Even said, laughing a little and pulling Isak back in again. He brushed his lips on his head and let out a little sigh. “You feeling better?” 

“Mm, and this weed does wonders,” Isak said, plucking the joint out of between Even’s fingers. “Thank you again. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re my rock, Baby. I love you.” 

“God, I love how lovey and sappy you are when you’re sick,” Even told him with a laugh, kissing the top of his head some more, showering every inch of it. “And I love taking care of you and I can’t wait to take care of our future children.” 

“And we’ll do that together, too.”   
*

_Monday, May 20_

“We’ve put it off long enough, we _have_ to talk about this and make a decision,” Even told him as he closed his laptop, getting up from the desk and walking over to where Isak had been sat on the couch. Apparently while Isak had been doing his research project, Even had been running some numbers and he’d come to some sort of arrangement that he thought Isak might like. “So, just hear me out.” 

“I’m listening, Baby, but I can’t promise to like it,” Isak told him, setting aside his own laptop and moving to sit sideways, stretching his legs out over Even’s thighs. Even was right, time was dwindling and they were making decisions and strides towards having a baby without having proper financial backing. They had some savings, and whatever they could save from there forward, but it wasn’t going to be nearly enough. Isak knew it, he ran the numbers too. He just wasn’t ready to admit that maybe he actually needed his Dad’s help. 

“I think it’s a good compromise, but it is a compromise, so I can’t promise you’ll completely love it either,” Even told him, reaching out and putting his hand under Isak’s chin. He held it gently and stroked the bottom of his cheek with his thumb. “So, you have to be listening and also open-minded.” 

“I am, Ev, I am,” Isak said, moving closer and putting a hand on his arm to gently stroke it. “So, go ahead.” 

“What if, instead of just asking for all of it from Terje, we get him to match us instead?” Even asked quietly, moving his hand to caress Isak’s cheek completely now. “We’ve got savings, we can ask my followers for some donations, and whatever we come out with, he can match. Or if we don’t need that much, then he can loan us what we’ll need and that’s it.” 

“I think that we’ll still be asking for a lot from him,” Isak said with a sigh, defeatedly dropping his head onto Even’s shoulder. It sucked that without taking out a shit ton of loans, they couldn’t pay for it on their own. After Isak graduated and started making good money, that might change, but right then, they were stuck and he really, really hated it. “What if we make it both of our parents? You parents can loan us some, Terje loans us some, then we pay them back after I graduate. You know I don’t want to be too dependent on him.” 

“That...makes sense,” Even said with a nod, wheels turning behind his eyes while he pulled his parents into the situation at hand, making it work in his head. “I mean, they did say that they wanted to help, so I don’t see why that would be a problem.” 

“Except you’re just as apprehensive about asking them as I am about Terje,” Isak said matter-of-factly, raising his head and both of his eyebrows at Even. “You and me...we like to be dependent on each other. But, we’re going to need the outside help and it’ll be better than bank loans, I suppose. So, you’re right, we should do this.”

“Okay, so we’ll schedule a dinner with Terje and ask my parents this Thursday?” Even asked, looking Isak in the eyes. He looked vulnerable as Isak felt. He hated not being able to be independent just as much as Isak did. 

“Okay, yeah,” Isak nodded and then brushed his lips against Even’s. “So are you seriously going to ask your followers? Have you found a charity?” 

“I know it won’t be much, but it can’t hurt to ask them and also do some good for the world while we’re at it,” Even said with a little shrug, running his fingers through Isak’s hair a couple of times and then pecking him on the lips. “I found this really cool LGBT charity that specializes in gay couples who are trying to start families, so I think it’d be cool to reach out to them and see if they can do anything for us. If they can and seem reputable, then we can give them half of whatever we raise.” 

“Alright, we’ll do that, then,” Isak told him with a smile, wrapping his arms around his neck and attacking the side of his face with kisses. As apprehensive he was about their funding, he was just as equally excited about the endeavor. “Someday Baby, we’ll be fully independent, no more borrowing money from our parents, but instead giving our own kids an allowance. It’ll be amazing and I just can’t wait.” 

“Says the man who wanted to take it all away because of an episode,” Even teased, moving his hands to Isak’s sides and giving them a nice squeeze. 

“I wasn’t taking it away, I was postponing it,” Isak corrected him, “And maybe if I did, we’d actually have the money we needed for it.” 

“Hey, no bright ideas over there, we’re doing this and we’re doing this _now._ ” 

“I know we are, Baby. Money or no money, it’s so on,” Isak told him, moving a hand to his cheek and stroking it gently before leaning in for a kiss. They basked in the kiss for a few moments, melting into each other and pulling away only to breath. They were both breathing deeply when they pulled apart, pressing their foreheads together, their eyes closed as they relaxed in silence for a few moments. 

“You know, doing the whole gestational surrogacy makes it more expensive,” EVen said, breaking the silence and killing the mood that they were about to swing into. “We could always just do an insemination and have donor and surrogate be the same person. That’d knock the costs down.” 

“Yeah, but that’s so risky,” Isak said with a sigh, pulling back a little to be able to see him more clearly. “Because then the donor has a connection to the Baby and that has always been so controversial and I just want all of this to be clean.” 

“I get that, but I mean, we’ll be working with an agency, there’ll be contracts,” Even shrugged a little. “It’s safer now than it’s been in the past. We’d be more protected. I don’t know, it’s just something to think about if you want to lower costs.” 

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right, I’ll look into it,” Isak said with a nod, pretty sure that he’d rather the expense than any sort of risk, but if Even wanted to know more about it, then he would find out what he could. 

 

_Tuesday, May 21_  
*  
Even always loved watching Isak with Milo. From the minute he saw Isak first holding him, he knew that there was no way he wasn’t going to have a baby with this man. He had always thought about it, but there had been awhile where he was sure that Isak was all he needed in life, that they could live together forever going on adventures and just basking in each other’s love. But something shifted. Seeing Isak hold Milo and interact with him just made Even know that this was a love that they needed to share. 

Even now that Milo was older, Even still loved watching Isak and him together. He’d even opt to sit aside and talk to Lisa while the two of them played one-on-one soccer matches. Of course, he loved sitting with Lisa, too. Especially when Terje wasn’t around, and Even and Isak tried to manage to be around when he wasn’t the best they could. If they were able to, they’d come early when they were invited to dinner and spend an hour or so with Milo and Lisa before Terje came home for the day. Even would have wonderful conversation with Lisa while they watched the boys play around.

“I know there’s a big age gap, but it’s so nice that Isak has a brother,” Even told Lisa as the two of them sat in lawn chairs, watching Isak and Milo kick around the ball. Isak was being easy on him, but they were still being a little competitive and it was cute enough to keep a smile on Even’s face while he watched. “I mean, my sister is kind of like a sibling to him but it’s not the same. It’s not this. There’s a specific...comradery about it.” 

“Well, I’m glad the age gap doesn’t change that,” Lisa told him, pushing her sunglasses down and peering back over at the boys. Milo had the ball and Isak was beside him, acting like he was going to steal the ball—and he could, of course, but he wouldn’t. “It’s funny, actually. Before Terje and Isak reconnected, you know, before he knew about the two of you...He would tell me that you were like brothers.” 

“That’s uh, definitely something we’ve struggled with in the past,” Even said with an awkward laugh, running his hand through his hair. He supposed they were like brothers, in the grossest most incestual way, but they kind of fought like siblings, he guessed. Not that he made a habit of thinking about _that_. “Knowing someone for that long definitely could make people think that way. But this is better than that. Definitely more brotherly, and not, well yeah.” 

“You know I’m sorry about him, he really does have the best intentions,” Lisa said, which was one of her many phrasings about Terje that she managed to tell the boys whenever he wasn’t around. She was always trying to make them look at him more fondly. “I really think he’s trying to do right by Isak. By helping you guys start a family.” 

“I’m sure he is,” Even said with a nod and a shrug before looking off in the field again. Isak had the ball now and he was showing off with fancy foot tricks that always seemed to amaze Milo—and Even for that matter, seeing as he was generally pretty clumsy otherwise. “We can talk about that later though.” 

“Okay,” Lisa said and it went quiet around them for a moment before she spoke again. “I keep thinking I need to have one more kid. But I kinda want to adopt. Maybe a little girl around Milo’s age, maybe a year or two younger. I don’t really want another baby but you’re right, siblings are nice.” 

“Wow...that’s...wow, you and Terje have talked about this?” 

“Oh, no, I’ve just thought about it here and there,” Lisa shrugged and then sipped her wine, swirling around the liquid in the glass and looking down at it. “Maybe I’ll bring it up after the excitement over you two calms down. Mostly because I think that it’s important that, as a family, we support the two of you in this. Especially with your first. With Milo, if I didn’t have Terje, woo, I don’t even know how I would have made it.” 

“Well, thank you for wanting to help,” Even said, avoiding saying anything regarding Terje and his ability to be there for people, because she’d just come back with another one of her excuses for him. “Isak and I are definitely having multiple kids. We’ve talked about it. Hopefully closer together than us and our siblings but we have to see what the future brings and how this round goes.” 

“I think it’s wonderful how you guys plan these things and just know,” Lisa said with a smile. “I’ve never seen a couple so sure of themselves and their future. I love it, it’s very refreshing.” 

“Isak and I are definitely one of a kind,” Even said, smiling proudly and looking over at Isak. Isak seemed to sense it because he looked up from the ground right at him and smiled too before clumsily tripping over the ball. Milo watched and threw himself into a fit of giggles over it as Isak started getting back up and brushing himself off. Even chuckled to himself too, turning back to Lisa, “I mean, we definitely have our problems but we’re...Isak is perfect. Everything I ever needed.”   
~

After dinner, they sat down to talk. Terje and Lisa had wanted Milo to go into the other room while they had the discussion, but he sat himself to sit right in between Even and Isak on the loveseat and refused to move. Isak didn’t seem to mind so Even didn’t either. He wasn’t old enough to understand the whole money thing, anyway. Besides, he wanted to hang out with his cool older brother and Even couldn’t blame him.

“You know, it is going to be _pretty_ boring in here, though,” Isak said as a last ditch effort to appease Lisa and Terje to get Milo out of the room. He messed his hair and then shrugged, “I’m sure your video games are a lot more fun than we’re going to be.” 

“No, I want to hang out with you guys,” Milo said in defiance, crossing his arms over his chest and huffing. 

“That’s that, then,” Isak said with a shrug, throwing his arm up around the back of the couch, hand finding Even’s shoulder on the other side of Milo. He gave Milo a smile then looked up at Even, who gave him his own smile of reassurance. He knew Isak wanted to be the one to tell them, so Even kept quiet. “So, anyway, Even and I have talked about your offer.” 

“What offer?” Milo asked. 

“Honey, please let the adults talk,” Lisa told him as her hand found its way to Terje’s side. She seemed to have a pretty calming effect on him, so this was probably to keep him from yelling at Milo. She looked at Isak and smiled, her eyes very excited, almost twinkling with it. “You’ve talked about it and what do you boys think?” 

“It’s a really nice offer and it would definitely take a lot of stress off of us,” Isak said, sounding more confident and mature about it than Even had expected. He knew Isak was nervous about this, he knew that there was a lot that he felt was on the line because of this, and yet he was shining with the confidence. He seemed to be having a good week for that. “We think that we can take you up on it. Partially, anyway.” 

“So conditions, then,” Terje said, nodding his head as if this were something he was expecting. He should have definitely expected some sort of twist. After everything he put Isak through, he needed to expect to jump through hoops to appease him. Or, that was how Even looked at it, anyway. “What are they?”

“It’s not exactly a condition,” Isak said with a little shrug, taking a beat and then going on, “I mean, I do want you to be doing this because you actually want to help us get to where we want to be and not because you feel bad. But that’d be the only _condition_.”

“Well, consider it met! Terje, go get the checkbook!” Lisa said excitedly, hitting Terje’s thigh a couple times to get him in motion. 

“Hold on,” Even said quickly, putting his hands out to try to stop a check for a hundred grand from being written—though that did sound like a terrible idea, denying all that money. “We’re not asking for it just yet.” 

“Right, not yet,” Isak said shaking his head and giving Even’s shoulder a squeeze. “First of all, we’re only borrowing from you and we plan to pay it back in full when we can. Secondly, you’re not paying for all of it. We’ve got savings and Even’s parents want to pitch in, too. So, we don’t know the exact amount we’ll need just yet. So no checks right now because calculations need to be done.” 

“Well, certainly you’ll need help in the meantime? Plane tickets, deposits for housing out there?” Lisa suggested. Apparently, she was really looking to be involved. Eager to be a family who loved each other and did things for each other. Even certainly didn’t understand how someone so desperate for that would pick Terje, but there they were, about a decade strong. 

“Yeah, fine, we should probably get the tickets soon, so we’ll just take that out of your total,” Isak nodded, still being mature and confident while Milo looked up to him.

“Hold. The. Phone,” Milo said putting both his hands out and hopping up off the couch and talking to Lisa and Terje “You’re giving Isak _money?_ I want money!” 

“Oh yeah? What would you buy?” Isak asked with a smile, “I mean, _I’m_ buying a baby. So you’ll have to one up that.” 

“Well, I don’t want to buy a baby,” Milo said, crossing his arms back over his chest and pouting. “But I want a car so I think I win. A car is bigger than a baby.” 

“Physically, yes,” Isak said, grabbing Milo’s waist and pulling him into his lap. Milo laughed and squirmed, letting Isak take hold hold and tickle his sides a little. “But a Baby is still more because you get a lot more out of it. Like love and affection and also babies are super cute.” 

“Ugh, fine,” Milo groaned and squirmed off of his lap, moving to sit in between Even and Isak again. “Where do you buy babies? Where was I bought from? I have a friend who said babies come from a bird so does the bird bring them to the store? Or will the bird bring the baby home? How does the bird get the baby?” 

“Oh, yikes,” Even said with a laugh, standing up and offering out a hand to Isak. “I think that’s probably our queue to leave. Good call on the whole ‘buying a baby’ phrasing, there, Is.” Honestly, the two of them would probably be better at the where-do-babies-come-from talk than Lisa and Terje, but that was definitely their job, not Even and Isak’s. 

“Wait, I have questions!” 

“Mom and Dad will answer them,” Isak said, setting Milo back onto the couch and ruffling his hair again as he stood up. “We definitely have to go.”  
*

_Thursday, May 23_

Dinner with Even’s parents that evening was a success, the two of them being able to sit them down and properly ask them to loan the two of them the money. They’d offered before, so the answer was obvious, but like with Terje and Lisa, they wanted them to understand that it was purely a loan. Isak would pay them all back if it was the last thing he did and it was important to him that everyone knew that. Having to pay everyone back would be a weight on his shoulders, but it’d be worth it. The independence and self-sufficiency that was to come would be liberating when it was paid off. And, in the meantime they got to start a family, so Isak figured it was a pretty good deal. 

“What are you smiling about over there?” Even asked, reaching over the center console and squeezing Isak’s thigh. They were on their way home and Isak had been staring out the window, watching the houses go by as they started getting near their neighborhood. He hadn’t realized he’d been smiling. Or that deep in thought. But, Even had definitely just snapped him out of it and now they were only seconds from pulling up to their apartment. 

“Oh, I’m just happy about everything,” Isak said as they parked in their designated spot. He unbuckled and reached over, clicking the button on Even’s seat belt too. “All the borrowing is uncomfortable but it’s _so_ worth it. Right?” 

“It is, I completely agree,” Even said with a nod, pulling the seat belt back and putting his hand on the door handle. He was probably itching to get inside, probably had some editing or something he needed to do for work. “I’m really glad that you think so. I know that there’s a lot about Terje that just plain sucks, but Lisa kept saying the word family. I think they’re really trying to be a family, like with us, and that the loan is a step in that direction. Or maybe Terje sucks but Lisa’s cool.” 

“Probably more that but yeah, I mean, whatever,” Isak shrugged and reached for the door handle himself, popping the door open just a little to give Even the go ahead to get out, too. “Terje sucks and I’m used to that, so it’s risky and I accept it. I just want to start a _family_ with you. And I’m happy because I get to start a family with you, no matter how it has to be done.” 

Even didn’t respond with words, he just smiled, squeezed Isak’s leg and hopped out of the car. It wasn’t really an important discussion, since they’d basically been having it for days, so he didn’t mind it being over, so he got out, too. He checked his pockets, making sure he had his phone and his wallet then shut the door behind him, only to have Even grab him by the hips and press him back against the door. Isak gasped, met with his eyes immediately, they were shining in the night, exuding the happiness Isak had been feeling. 

“I get to start a family _with you_ ,” Even said brightly before crushing his lips against Isak’s. It was an immediate lip lock, Isak’s arms flying up and around Even’s neck to pull the last bit of himself up against his husband, his future Baby Daddy. Their lips moved together fast, tongues colliding and pressing sloppily. 

It felt as good as Isak did and it wasn’t long before they were on the move, clumsily making out on their way to the door. Isak kissed along the back of Even’s neck teasingly as he struggled to unlock the door, but once it once open, they were on again, Even grabbing Isak’s hips, kicking the door shut and pulling him in again. Now it was a little more fluid, the little dance down their hallway being a pretty familiar one, the difficult part being that they were also trying to stumble out of their shoes and never move their lips off the other. 

They managed, though, eventually crashing into the bedroom and onto their bed. Even fell backwards, pulling Isak on top of them. Out of experience, Isak had the better sense to stop the kiss before they landed, tucking his head into Even’s neck and pressing soft kisses there as they fell. 

“Just put a baby in me, Isak,” Even said with a laugh, his hands gliding down Isak’s body then bunching his shirt up to his ribs. His fingers caressing the skin as he traced their outline, making Isak's skin buzz in excitement. 

“I wish I could,” Isak said, pulling back and taking off his shirt for Even, whose hands stayed on his ribs the whole time. “There's a universe that it's happening, though. I'm sure. And probably one where I'm pregnant. Fy faen, there's probably one where we both are.” 

“Sometimes I wish I could see these universes, even if only to figure out if we need a different color for our curtains,” Even said, taking his hands slowly off Isak before sliding back on the bed and pulling off his own shirt. Watching him lick his lips and flutter his eyelashes so seductively had Isak so gone, he couldn't help but smirk and try to be his own form of seductive. 

Isak would figure that he looked really awkward when he was being sexy, and though he thought he moved so much better with Even than on his own, Even made him really comfortable with it. Besides, if it was awkward, then Even must've thought awkward was sexy and that worked for Isak. So he ignored the awkward sway of his body as he crawled up the mattress slowly, until he was able to straddle his husband's legs comfortably. 

“You are so _fucking_ hot,” Even practically growled putting his hand on the back of Isak's neck and pulling him in. Isak had a theory that lips were made to cushion the teeth from harm just because humans couldn't help themselves when they were horny. They would grab onto each other and just crash, and if it weren't for Even's soft, plump lips to cushion the blow, there could have been serious pain. Or maybe that was just them. But, luckily there was no pain, just the glorious warm tingles that Even sent wherever he touched.

And they kissed and kissed and kissed until their mouths were completely swollen and they were both sufficiently hard. Isak finally pulled back when he couldn't take it anymore, his boner begging to be free of his jeans. The grinding and dry humping wasn't doing it and he was ready to move on to the serious fun. 

He wanted to be free, but he helped Even first, unbuttoning his pants and helping him squirm out of them before working on his own. They were frantic to be undressed, their hands moving so fast that they were clumsy with it. Over time, they’d grown less clumsy at the whole process but it didn’t matter when they were _that_ hungry for each other. They just couldn’t move fast enough and so things could go awry. There had even been a time where Isak had accidentally knocked the wind out of Even by elbowing him in the stomach. 

But as frantically and clumsily as they moved, they managed to get fully undressed without any incident this time. Isak’s body finally finding its way back on Even’s as their lips connected again, their lowers now able to grind freely, though it still wasn’t nearly enough. But he kept it up, kissing down Even's jaw and neck as he did. 

He generally wasn't good at keeping up the slow and sensual pace, he wanted more, faster, craved it. It was all apart of the being-so-hungry thing. But Even had taught him to move slower over time, and he used it as often as he could. This time he couldn’t manage, sensually kissing down Even's torso with open, wet lips, and nibbling wherever he saw fit. Even was breathing heavily, his back curving up into Isak's touch while his fingers tangled in Isak's locks. 

Once he got down to his hips, though, he almost felt himself drooling, wanting Even in his mouth so bad. Wanted to taste him, feel him, hear him make pleasured noises. He could have made one last effort to go slow, but Even didn’t seem to care, seemed to love it just as much as Isak did. So, he took a final bite on Even's left hip, listening to him hiss from the sting as Isak started moving in. 

He made a show of licking his from his balls up to his tip before he actually took Even in his mouth. This time, he started slow, bobbing down but taking his sweet time to let Even sink down his throat. He could only manage that a few times before Even's fingers were in his hair, pleadingly trying to take charge of Isak's pace. So, Isak listened, looking up at him and bobbing faster, letting Even's hand control the speed. 

“Fuck, Isak,” Even groaned eventually, his back arching again and making Isak think he was going to come, but instead he tugged Isak off his dick and let go of his hair. “Fuck me.” 

“I can do that,” Isak said happily, wiping his mouth before crawling over to the bedside to get the lube. He took it then moved himself to sit between Even's legs, watching his body heave from his heavy breathing. He bit his lip and poured some lube onto his fingers, spreading his cheeks and slowly pressing one inside. “How much do you want me, Baby?” 

“So much more than this,” Even said, letting out a sort of whimper as he squirmed at the touch. Isak knew it was a tease, so he added another, pumping them in and out while Even bit his lip and arched his back. Isak couldn't help but moan at the sight, watching his husband’s eyes fill with the hunger and need sending Isak into a frenzy of his own. 

“Never stop being so fucking sexy,” Isak practically demanded, though he knew aging and whatnot was out of their hands, it seemed like a good thing to say. And, honestly, he knew Even would never stop being so damn attractive to him, because he loved him, but good fucking grief, Isak was so stunned by him every time he saw him. “Or maybe you should, you’re fucking killing me.” 

Isak dove back down to kiss him again, his fingers almost relentlessly pumping in and out of him now. He was ready and stretched and he let out a low and guttural moan into Isak mouth. Something needy that came right from the back of his throat, telling Isak that Even wanted him and fuck if Isak’s dick didn’t want to just jump off his body and find its way inside Even all on its own. But, instead they were more-or-less back to grinding, Isak pulling out his fingers and letting their lowers graze and bump. 

“Isak,” Even mumbled, almost a small plea against Isak’s lips. Asking for more, driving Isak willd because he knew he was the only one who could elicit reactions like that out of Even. It had taken time for Isak to get him there, to find out what it was that he could do to drive Even so wild. But, now there were times he could be almost as loud as Isak, And, Isak wanted to make it one of those times. So, he heard Even but he didn’t respond, just kept grinding, kissing down to his collarbones and biting at them, “Fuck, Isak, please Baby.” 

Isak took the time to suck a nice, deep, purple hickey right below where Even;s collarbone jutted out and then pulled back, sitting on his knees between Even’s legs and smirking wildly at him. He looked seriously wrecked, and it made Isak so ravenous to get more. More of a reaction. And, Even was so good, he was pleading and he was whining but he stayed still, he watched Isak, let him have his way with him. And Isak knew he’d let him do whatever. He was having a lot of fun with it, too, so he traced both his pointer fingers down Even’s hip bones to the top of his thighs, pulling them back and slapping them just enough to make a sting and get a reaction. 

“You’re fucking killing me,” Even hissed, reaching up and grabbing onto Isak’s wrists as his hands rubbed circles over the tops of his thighs, working inward. It was a loose grip, letting Isak’s hands spread his legs open wider one last time, spreading his own so that his knees could keep them apart and nice and the muscles nice and stretched. He slowly took Even’s hands in his own and guided them to his own dick, letting Even take hold and give him a little release. Then, he took the lube and squirted a bunch on top, making a mess but letting Even slather it over him. He let out a few moans of his own, leaning back on his hands, tilting his head back and just letting Even have his way with him for a second. “But you want me just as bad.” 

“I do,” His voice must’ve been bleeding with it, it was so hoarse. He pushed back up, and moved Even’s hands, scooting closer and finally positioning himself. He was already out of breath, his entire body pulsing so hard he heard it in his ears. So, he was done teasing Even. He had other ways to make him make noise. Pressing inside just fast enough to startle him was a good start, and hearing Even moan out his name just proved that. Isak leaned down and practically purred into Even’s ear. “I love hearing you moan my name. Do it again.” 

“Isak,” Even whisper-moaned this time, almost voiceless now as Isak started thrusting his hips. Even’s hands gripping onto Isak’s biceps, fingernails digging in while his head lolled to the side. 

“Even,” Isak purred again, moving at a pretty moderate pace now, letting one hand rake gently through Even’s hair. The other on Even’s shoulder to anchor him, though they were sweaty and it wouldn’t be the best anchor forever. So he gave him a few sloppy kisses along his jaw, giving them just a few extra moments like this before he pushed himself back up to his knees. 

“Isak,” Even had moaned again, letting his nails scratch down Isak’s arms to protest the loss of his body on top of his. Isak felt the burn of the scrape and felt himself smirk in return as he met Even’s gaze. His body always seemed to take over when he topped. It knew what it wanted and it knew how to take care of Even so he just let it happen. So, with Even’s hands still on his wrists, Isak gripped Even’s hips and started moving faster. The pulsing in his body was replaced with pure bliss, warming him, filling him with Even surrounding him, squeezing him so perfectly. 

Even’s body was jumping with every thrust, his back arching every time that little bundle of nerves was touched. He was moaning out, Isak not being able but help moan with him, the room filling up with a chorus of it. Isak kept moving while Even wrapped his legs around his waist, making an effort to move with Isak because he wouldn’t stand to lay still. 

Not that Isak cared as the two of them moved together, building up together, moaning _together_. Even even eventually pushed himself up, too, straddling Isak's thighs and pressing their torsos together. It left Isak's mouth near Even's shoulder, giving him the perfect place to bite down when he came. So they thrusted together, their torsos gliding and their bodies completely intertwined and as they came, practically together, Isak's teeth sunk into Even's shoulder and Even's head tilted all the way back, calling out Isak's name one more time.

 

_Friday, May 24_

Even and Isak finally broke their no-friends-just-them streak on Friday evening when they decided to meet a few of them at the bar. It was a pretty normal crowd, Jonas, Sonja, Mutta, Mats, and—surprisingly enough and the only reason he may have thought it as a strange crowd—the bartender, Anita. Apparently, she and Mats were good, but she was actually getting along with Sonja the best. According to Jonas, they’d become bff’s in the past week, and he’d even texted Isak that he was hoping it’d lead to a threesome. 

Isak wasn’t sure where that’d leave Mats. But, he didn’t know where _he_ was leaving Mats those days either. He didn’t want things to be different. He never wanted to make Mats question shit, and he was glad that he was over him because he liked being his friend. But, Isak didn’t know how to go back after he told him about the stupid crush. Isak seriously wished he could just go back in time and stop himself from crushing in the first place, but he couldn’t. He had to hope, though, that this was the last leg of the repercussions, that maybe after this, his indiscretion could finally be looked over and forgotten. 

He was going to have to talk to him. Alone. Or only with Even, he didn’t care if he was there. But he wouldn’t want to talk about it in front of everyone else and get them into Mats’ business. He had to figure out exactly what it was that he had to ask, so it seemed better that he wouldn’t be able to do it that night. 

“Seriously, it’s been like two fucking weeks,” Mutta was complaining to Even and Isak. Apparently their absence hadn’t gone unnoticed, which was sweet, but they were also the only one’s at the table who were married. So, their friends probably wouldn’t understand. “Like, zero communication. None of us, and trust me, I asked. So where were you at? An impromptu vacation or what?” 

“A sort of staycation,” Isak told them, leaning more into Even. “We’ve had a lot on our plate and we needed some time.” 

“And knowing Isak, that’s code for something along the lines of: someone fucked up at Mutta’s party and offended them and they needed some time to stop being mad at us,” Jonas said, somehow being a pretty good Isak-expert, not really that far behind Even. Which, again, was sweet, but Isak didn’t need it and could do without the clarifying in front of everyone. 

“My guess is that it was around truth or dare time,” Sonja said, adding to the gang-up-on-Even-and-Isak bandwagon. “Obviously, guys we need to not rag on them. They’re too sensitive.” 

“Jesus guys,” Even said, rubbing his face and then running his hand through his hair, “We’re a married couple planning for a baby. We’ve got a lot on our plate, like Isak said and right now we’d definitely prefer support from our friends instead of them _ragging_ on our relationship.” 

“Can we rag on you separately?” Jonas asked with a smirk, pushing the buttons but also being the one brave enough to follow up Even so there wouldn’t be silence. 

“I don’t see why not,” Isak said with a shrug, turning his head to look up at Even better from where he was cuddled up to him. “What do you think?” 

“Oh, for sure,” Even said playfully, rolling his eyes and squeezing Isak, “for instance, if you want to call Isak a clutz and me a douchebag separately, we could totally handle it.” 

“Except if you call Even a douchebag I might have to beat you up,” Isak said, sitting up more and then looking back at Even, “Why did you pick douchebag for yourself?” 

“Because he totally can be,” Mutta said with a laugh, shaking his head, “Man, you really never see that, Isak? He’s such a cocky guy. Total douchebag. Man, I guess love really is blinding.” 

“Well don’t make him not-blind to it, jeez,” Even said with a laugh of his own before looking down at Isak and smiling. Isak knew Even was cocky, and he could totally be a dick from time to time, but who wasn’t? He would never classify him in the douchebag category. But, maybe love was blinding and maybe that was why the worst insult Even could think of for Isak was calling him a clutz when there was so much more that he could be called. 

“I’ll never look at my Baby in a negative light, don’t worry Love,” Isak said, throwing in the most pet names that fit into the sentence for a dramatic and mushy effect so hopefully the rest of the table would be gagging. They did more of a groan in response, but it worked, and they were back with their friends after two weeks and everything was still completely normal. It was a long jump, but maybe that meant a year wouldn’t be so bad. 

“Yeah, whatever, you’re a super strong couple, we get it,” Mats said, somewhat playfully but Isak was sensing a bit of jealousy. He threw a couple of his bar fries to try to emphasize the playfulness, though, and it seemed to mask the jealousy to everyone else. Isak was definitely going to have to talk to him. 

“We are, and while most of that is our doing, you guys have been generally been supportive, too, so thanks,” Even said with a nod, grabbing his beer and then holding it up. “I’d say we need to cheers to friendship and also how amazing Isak and I are.”

“Here, here,” Isak said, raising his glass. Everyone else reluctantly raised theirs too, and then they were back to it, thinking up better insults to call the two boys.

 

_Saturday, May 25_

“Well, what do you think I should do about Mats?” Isak was asking Even while they were laying in bed that morning. Even didn’t get out of bed to make them breakfast or try to get Isak up to do something with the day, but instead they just laid there, tangled up in the sheets and each other. They’d been talking about the night before, which had been an overall success with their friends. Isak had definitely missed them in the two weeks he and Even had spent focusing on each other, but it was needed and Isak was glad they had taken that time. But now that they were back to it, Isak really had to think about Mats. And he really needed Even’s help, but was afraid that he wouldn’t be helpful enough because it was Mats, after all. 

“Am I allowed to answer with another question?” Even asked, raising an eyebrow, his fingers gently traveling up and down Isak’s bicep. “Because I want to know what you _think_ you should do about it.”

“I want to let it go, but I don’t know if I should,” Isak sighed, moving his his head to Even’s chest, wanting to hear the sound of his heartbeat, thinking maybe it could give him some clarity. “But then again, if I let it go, maybe he’ll let it go.” 

“Doubtful,” Even said bluntly, “You’ve gotta talk to him. Maybe tell him that he needs to either give it up or that’s it for the friendship. I find that ultimatums are pretty effective.” 

“They’re not the greatest mental game,” Isak said, pausing and listening to his heartbeat for a few moments, “But, honestly, maybe that’s what needs to be done this time around. I just want all of this Mats stuff be over with. I hate the entire situation and I wish I could go back and stop myself from being so stupid.”

“Hey, you’re only human, stop beating yourself up,” Even said, moving to brush his lips over the top of Isak’s curls. He kissed his head a couple of times and gave him a squeeze. “I’m sorry if I’ve held it over your head. Maybe it’s my fault you’re going through this with him now. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, I was—” 

Isak was cut off by the aggressive buzzing of his phone on the nightstand. It only buzzed like that when he was getting a call from Eskild, Noora, or Eva, so he felt like he was going to need to answer. Though it was intruding their conversation and peaceful morning in bed, he probably needed to. It could be important. Or it could be Eskild complaining about a walk of shame or something. But it could be important. 

“Go ahead, answer it,” Even said, gently squeezing him one last time before letting him go and slowly sitting up against the headboard. Isak groaned dramatically as he sat up, too, reaching for his phone and answering it. 

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Isak, I screwed up, this is all my fault,” Eskild started crying into the other line, like legitimately crying, which startled Isak, making him jolt up in bed. His heart stopping, immediately knowing this was about Eva. 

“Eskild, calm down. What happened? What’s going on?” Isak asked, trying to sound calm, trying not to jump to the worst possible conclusion. 

“Noora told me that if Eva had a fever or anything, she’d needed to go to the hospital right away,” Eskild said, his voice full of panic and shaky breath. “I noticed the sniffles but she said she was just cold, I should have known. Now she’s... “ 

“She’s… she’s not… I mean she didn’t….” Isak couldn’t spit the words out, he couldn’t even fathom them. He couldn’t imagine a world without Eva in it. 

“No, not yet, but her counts are way down, her immune system is like failing,” Eskild was hysteric on the other line and Isak could just picture him there in the hospital, pacing, blaming himself, wanting to bang his head off the wall. “She could..she could turn around but there are no guarantees right now and she just looks so bad and I can’t do anything.” 

“Eskild, stop blaming yourself, it’s not your fault,” Isak said on the other line, though his heart was beating fast, his skin was crawling with panic. “It’s not. It’s shitty but it’s not your fault. Is Noora there with you? What exactly are the doctors saying, do you know?” 

“They’re saying we just have to wait, they like gave her stuff but it’s _up to her_ I guess to pull herself out of it but that’s bullshit. There has to be more that can be done, can’t there?” Isak could tell Eskild was off the walls, that he needed someone. Noora was probably with Eva and her Mom and he was probably all alone in a waiting room, with his thoughts. “You know medical stuff, Isak, please tell me there’s something.” 

“I don’t know much about _this_ ,” Isak said with a sigh, wishing he knew more so that he could do more. “That’ll be more up Sana’s alley, maybe you should call her. But, I don’t know. Even and I should come up there and see her, I think. “

“We’re doing what? What’s going on with Eva?” Even asked to his side, sitting up with Isak and wrapping his arm comfortingly around his shoulders. 

“Would you really?” Eskild asked, sniffling. 

“Yeah, yeah, this is serious, I need to see her,” Isak answered, shaking his head and giving Even a look to clue him into what was going on. Of course, he’d fill him in in a second though. He just needed to wrap his head around the situation. “Call Sana, though and I’ll call you back once I talk to Even.”

Isak hung up, his heart feeling like it was in his stomach. He and Eva didn't always have the best of relationships but when it was good, it was great. And he'd known her so long that he felt like she was family. He needed her to be okay. He needed to be there for her. 

“She's obviously not okay if you're about to say we're going to London,” Even said, eyebrows raised but with concerned eyes. “What's going on?” 

“I guess she got sick, like a cold or something but she's got a weakened immune system and I don't know, Eskild made it sound really bad, Even,” Isak said, feeling more panicky as he said it out loud. 

“And we're sure he's not just being dramatic?” 

“This is not something to take lightly, Even,” Isak said, pulling away from him and shrugging. “But whatever, I can go without you. So I'm going whether or not you do.” 

“Isak, what? No,” Even said quickly, wrapping his arms back saying him and pulling him back in. ”If you're going, I am. I wouldn't let you go through all of this without me.” 

“Then we're going to London. Tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still may not be decided about what'll happen with Mats. and I am v sorry about Eva   
> stay tuned, comment, kudo <3


	7. Don't Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and thank you to everyone reading, there's a lot going on in this chapter and I hope you enjoy <3

_Sunday, May 26_

Even and Isak found the cheapest flight out of Oslo to London and booked it immediately. They packed a couple of bags then spent most of the day on-call with Eskild until they were boarding plane. It was a late flight, getting them to London around 20:30. Then they caught the first bus they could to the hospital where Eva was being treated, getting them there around 21:00, which was way past visiting hours so really the only thing they could do to be of any assistance was take Eskild home. Noora told them they could stay in her room for the night because she was set, so they gave her a few hugs and escorted the mess that was Eskild home.. 

Isak didn’t sleep much, he just let Even hold him and listen to his heartbeat. He was even awake when Eskild crept in to join them like some child. He watched Eskild in the dark, unaware that he was being watched, trying to be sneaky as he crawled into bed next to Even. And Isak let it happen, but slapped his hand away when it made its way to Even’s hip. He gave him a little whisper-yell of a no and Eskild pouted and distracted him for a few more moments but eventually turned over and went to sleep too. Then it was just back to Isak and his thoughts. 

So, as soon as Noora’s clock on her bedside table struck seven, Isak got up. Visiting hours started at eight and he was going to be there, but he’d let the boys sleep. He was double thinking leaving them there when he was pulling on his shirt and watching Eskild push his ass closer and closer to Even, but instead of waking them to put a stop to it, he grabbed the pillow he was using and placed it between the two of them. He was probably going to hear it from Even about leaving him there with Eskild but they’d be fine and they both needed the sleep. 

So he threw on some clothes, made some coffee for himself and Noora then a pot for the boys, and grabbed the bus back to the hospital. When he got there, he found Noora almost immediately. She looked exhausted and upset, but she seemed to brighten a little when she saw Isak. He’d brought her and Eva’s mom—if she was still there—coffee from their place, carrying the pink, blue and white coffee cups in his hands barely-skillfully, worried he might drop them. He handed her the white one and gave her a little smile. 

“Any update?” He asked, looking at her then around her at the waiting room to see if Eva’s Mom was there, too. “Is her mom still here?” 

“She is, and it’s still the same, kind of,” Noora nodded her head down the hall then turned around, starting to lead Isak that way. “She’s this way, she planted a chair right outside her room and refused to leave. Which is absolutely amazing of her, but she’s not getting any sleep.” 

“Kind of the same?” Isak asked, following her to Eva’s room. He wasn’t sure if they could go in, but he felt nervous as he walked into the direction. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see Eva like that, but he felt like he had to. He had to be there for her. “And what about you, where did you sleep?” 

“Don’t worry, I’ve slept enough, she’s slept not at all,” Noora shrugged and gave him as small smile before sighing and then looking down the hallway. A long, far away stare that made Isak’s heart race a little with nerves. She knew something and she wasn’t saying it. He cleared his throat and she looked back at him. “Sorry, I forget you do that therapist thing now and read people. Eva’s going to pull through. The numbers are on her side, she’s strong, and honestly I’m not giving her a choice. However…” 

“However…” Isak repeated, a lump forming in his throat. 

“However, they’re saying that if things don’t turn around by like, tonight, they likely won’t,” She sighed and looked down the hall again, slowing her pace as they neared a corner. She put her hand on the corner and looked up at Isak, her blue eyes shining with a surface of tears that she was refusing to release, “And then it’ll probably get worse really fast.” 

“She’s going to turn around,” Isak said, swallowing the lump and trying to summon some confidence in the words. He knew that medically speaking, she was strong and she definitely had youth on her side, and he had to stay by that thought. “Can I see her yet?” 

“Her doctor just said that they had to administer some new drugs and then, yeah,” Noora nodded and then slowly turned the corner. Isak turned with her, seeing Eva’s Mom sitting in a chair outside a door about halfway down the hall. “But she’s not awake or anything. Oh, and you have to wash your hands in the bathroom directly inside and wear one of those face masks for precaution.” 

“Yeah, of course,” Isak said as they walked up to her mom. Isak held out the blue cup to her, keeping the pink to himself. “Good morning Anne. I didn’t know how you liked it but I do have extra cream and sugar for you. Currently, it’s black.” 

“Good morning, Isak, thank you,” She said, taking the cup from him. Isak fished out the creamers and sugar from his pocket and handed them to her, too. She looked exhausted and coffee was definitely not going to help. She was probably a wreck and it made sense, but not getting sleep wasn’t going to help from a physical or psychological standpoint. He’d try to get her to nap later, somehow. “How was your night at the girl’s place?” 

“It was fine, thanks again, Noora for letting us use your bed,” Isak said, looking back at her and smiling guiltily. “Somehow, Eskild ended up in there, too. I woke up and had to pull him off of Even.” 

“Where are they now?” Noora asked, raising an eyebrow and thankfully not seeming bother by Eskild joining them in her bed. So, apparently he didn’t have to lie so much about it. 

“Still in bed, I let them sleep,” Isak shrugged a little. He hadn’t slept at all either, but he wasn’t going to let them know. Besides, at least he got into bed and tried. He probably got a few minutes here and there and he was fine. “I left them some love notes, though, and I don’t think Even will sleep in much longer so they’ll probably be here soon. I just wanted to get here as soon as I woke up. I want to see her.” 

It wasn’t fifteen minutes until the doctor was permitting one-person-at-a-time visits. They had strict instructions to follow for Eva’s sake, and of course he let Noora and Anne go before him, both of them wanting to say their good mornings to her and see if they could tell if she seemed to progress or regress. Isak didn’t tell them that he doubted they would if the doctors couldn’t because he hoped they could see something the doctors couldn’t. 

When it was his turn, though, he was terrified. As he scrubbed his hands, he worried about any germs he might have been missing and scrubbed even harder. And then he sat in that washroom with the mask over his face for a good couple of minutes before he let himself go into her room. He could hear the machines beeping, buzzing, monitoring her before he could see her. And, he actually took solace in that, putting his head down as he walked to the bed and listened to the steady machines. The consistency of their noises was good, said that she was still there with them and that made him feel a little better. 

When he got to the edge of the bed, he put his hands on it and looked down at her feet under the blanket. He’d just do it slow, take in how she looked slowly and then maybe it’d hurt less. That’s what he did, thankful that half of her was covered in blankets, but when he got to where her hands fell at her sides and he saw how thin _they_ looked, he froze. They were boney and almost purple, there was no way they didn’t belong to the lively Eva. With his heart aching at just that, he decided to just step back and just look at her head-on. 

The rest of her was much like her hands, sunken, bones more prominently showing at her collar, her cheeks, and elbows. She was pale, so pale that her whole body was that almost-purple color, and it just seemed impossible that this was the same girl he grew up with. He moved to sit beside her bed where it looked like the others had visited, putting a hand on hers and looking at her with tears brimming his eyes. 

“Hey Eva,” He said, clearing his throat a good few times. “I thought I’d come to say that I have no idea what you’re doing here, but I know you can be working harder. I know all this cancer stuff is shit but we all love you and need you and need you to fucking fight it. Kick it in the fucking balls, because you know it’s a man. Because it sucks and is a terrible thing and all that stuff.

“But, yeah,” he had paused, feeling the tears flowing from his eyes as he held her cold hand, “I mean, you got this. I know you’re going to get past this and everything’s going to be great. Noora says she’s not letting you go and I’m not either. Me, Even, you and Noora are going to grow old and gay together. And that’s basically an order. So, get your ass in gear and fight like hell because we’re far from finished with you. And Even is going to be here soon and I’ll bet he’ll say the same thing. Hell, I’m about to buy everyone a ticket from Oslo with all my invisible money to come tell you this. Seriously.”  
~

He’d been joking about making everyone come from Oslo, but apparently he didn’t need to. He didn’t need any invisible money to get them there, either. They found ways on their own when they found out. Vilde, Sana, and Chris all catching the same flight and then Jonas and Sonja deciding to fly out, too. They were all there by 14:00, taking turns seeing her and hanging out in the waiting room while they waited in hopes of her waking up soon. 

“Oh, no, he kept the pillow between us,” Even said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “That’s how he’s justifying it.” 

“That is so not justifiable,” Isak said with a groan, putting his hand on his face. According to Even, he woke up to Eskild kissing his neck and they were calling to their friends for a vote on the matter. Eva’s mom was in the room with her, so everyone was there with them. Isak was sitting in Even’s lap and everyone else was around them, besides Eskild who Isak banished to at least 5 chairs away from Even at all times. 

“Actually, that’s barely how I’m justifying it,” Eskild said, starting on his side of the case, “The pillow was there, I respected it. I even kept my clothes on all night. Even just smells good and I was sniffing him and my lips _may_ have brushed his neck. It’s not my fault it was accidentally a sweet spot too and woke him up.” 

“Wait, were you still asleep when you did it?” Jonas asked, raising an eyebrow. Isak gave him a look, questioning why he was trying to justify it. Isak and Even weren’t really _that_ mad. It was creepy though, and they just wanted Eskild to see that so he just would _not_. It was important to Isak that people didn’t get attacked while they were vulnerable and sleeping. “I’m just saying, if Eskild was asleep, then it was all subconscious. His brain was like, Even smells good—and literally everyone can confirm that, by the way—and so his body got closer and whattaya know.” 

“I’m not buying it,” Chris said, shaking her head and reaching over to pat Even on the shoulder. She was in the seat directly to their right, bundled up in a hoodie and sweatpants because she thought the hospital was too cold. “Everyone can confirm Even smells good just like everyone knows Eskild. We love you, you horny menace, but you crossed a line.” 

“I agree with that,” Sana said with a nod. She wasn’t really taking part in the discussion, but Isak knew her mind was on the medical of it all. She knew a lot more about this kind of stuff than Isak did, and he imagined her brain was full of it, like his was when it came to mental illnesses. “Just apologize, Eskild. And don’t molest people while they sleep. Simple.” 

“Jesus Christ, I won’t, I promise, I’m sorry,” Eskild groaned, “Now can we drop it.” 

“Up to you,” Even said, looking up at Isak. Which was funny, because Isak thought that it was actually up to Even. But, obviously Isak was hanging onto it harder than Even.So, he’d let it go. 

“Yeah, yeah, fine.” 

“Speaking of molesting and whatnot,” Noora segwayed, leaning against the wall to Isak and Even’s left, “there was no funny business in my bed, right? Tell me now because, I’ll know. Don’t think I won’t.” 

“Nei, Isak said it’d be disrespectful to do it in your bed, so we moved to the floor,” Even said, smirking and squeezing Isak’s sides. 

“Even!” Isak scolded, elbowing him and looking at Noora. “We did not. There was no funny business in your room at all.”

“Be sure to let Eva know that this was the literal only time Even couldn’t seduce Isak,” Jonas said with a laugh, leaning back in his chair. “That should make her feel special.” 

The room fell to a silence at the mention of Eva. They were all sad and upset, but everything felt a little better when they were just hanging out and talking like they used to. When Eva was mentioned and everyone’s thoughts went back to how she wasn’t there with them and that maybe she never would be again, they’d start to fall apart all over again. 

“She’s waking up soon, I can totally feel it,” Chris said, standing up from her seat and smiling at everyone in reassurance, trying to keep the waterworks from resurfacing. “And she’s going to beat the cancer and everyone can go back to scheduled sex and/or their children in Vilde and Sana’s case. Because Eva _is_ special, and she’s got this.” 

“You know, I think I’m just going to go talk to the doctors _one_ more time,” Sana said, getting up and leaving.

 

_Monday, May 27_  
*  
Around 18:00, Eva’s levels started picking back up. She woke up around 20:00 and then everyone got to see her after her doctors did, but she was held overnight after that. Even needed to go to work on Monday, and Isak really did too, but Even couldn’t convince him. So, Even took an early flight out of London that morning and Isak promised he’d be home by end of day. Even hoped so, because he could hardly bear the idea of him being so far away. 

Even loved how much Isak loved his friends. He was always like that, Even remembering it dating back to when they were just friends. He cared so much about them and what happened to them, and he would do anything for them. He would even spend too much money on plane tickets to go to London and back when they were supposed to be saving up to start a family. Of course, Even wasn’t bitter about it. This time, it made sense, it was important, in the blunt truth of it all was that Eva could have died and Isak would have beaten himself up over it if he hadn’t tried to see her before that happened. 

Maybe he was just a little bitter, though. He was definitely glad they’d gone, and he was obviously glad she didn’t die. It was just that sometimes Isak didn’t think everything through when it came to being there for his friends. He had considered Even—briefly—when he made the decision, but he hadn’t thought about the money, their plans. He knew it was selfish, but Even wanted to come first to Isak, always, and he wanted their family to come first and he was just a little jealous and nervous about the way he jumped like that without thinking of them. 

He was itching to call him. Obviously when he was at work, he wouldn’t see him anyway, but it was like he could feel the distance. He probably picked up his phone ten times to call, but kept dropping it and wanting to give him the time over there with his friends. He didn’t cave until lunch and it only rang three times before that angelic voice was on the other end. 

“Hey Baby,” Isak said into the phone, sounding happy, and Even could picture him smiling. Happy with his friends he hadn’t seen in a while. “I was literally just saying that you would probably be on lunch soon and that I should call you. My flight is booked and I should be getting in tonight around 19:15 or something like that. Will you pick me up?” 

“Of course I will,” Even said with a sigh, thinking that that might as well mean that he stay late at work then go from there to the airport. “How is everything over there? Eva is well and you’re not overextending her?” 

“She’s doing a lot of sleeping, but we’re taking turns taking care of her,” Isak said. “Is everything okay over there? You sound sad.” 

“Nei, I just miss you,” Even said, feeling a little pathetic and resting his head on his hand. “I’m sorry, it’s stupid, you wouldn’t be with me anyway if you were in Oslo.” 

“It’s not stupid, I miss you too,” Isak told him and Eskild said something in the background before suddenly it was completely quiet. Even almost thought he wasn’t there anymore. “I’m sorry, I went into the other room so I can talk to you alone. But seriously, it’s not stupid, I miss you and I can’t wait to hold you tonight.” 

“I can’t wait either,” Even told him, smiling a little at the reassurance but still feeling a little down. “I love you and I’ll let you get back to it. Text me.” 

“Even, don’t you dare hang up this phone,” Isak said in a warning tone, shocking Even. “I can hear it in your voice. Are you sure you just miss me? Is something going on at work or something? One of those nasty coworkers…” 

“Isak, Isak, nei, it’s okay,” Even said, smiling just a little more now, picturing Isak saying it in person and how sassy he might get. Or maybe take his face and hold it and make him look in his eyes until he admitted something. Maybe the distance was good for that because now was just not the time. “I’m fine. I really just miss you. It’s like I can feel the distance and I hate it and I never want to be this far apart again.”

“Should I try to find an earlier flight? It was the cheapest…” 

“Nei, stay, have fun,” Even said, trying to make sure his voice was sounding less sad and thinking of something to reassure him. “But, maybe we can facetime for the rest of my lunch?”

“I’d love to, Baby.”  
*

_Wednesday, May 29_

“Isak, I’m so glad you could meet me,” Isak’s advisor, Markus, said as Isak walked into his office. Markus had emailed him earlier on in the day to ask him if he could drop by for a brief meeting around lunchtime. He just said he wanted to catch up, but Isak was pretty sure it was about his recent missed days at his residency. 

“Listen Markus,” Isak said, setting down his bag and grabbing a seat in the chair across from Markus’ desk. “I know I’ve missed a few days but I’m not going to miss anymore. I’ve basically had perfect attendance like all year. Surely we get some sick days.” 

“Of course you get sick days,” Markus said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs. He put his hands on his knee and tilted his head. Sometimes Isak got a pretty big gay vibe from him, but they never crossed that line. “And, you’re right, you’ve done pretty well. Better than a lot of workers, but on these days you provided no notification of your absence. That raises flags. Especially to me, Isak, because I know what’s on your plate.” 

“I may have a lot on my plate, but none of that has to do with me missing those days,” Isak said with a sigh, leaning on his elbow and putting his head in his hand. “Not directly. I’m sorry, I should have let someone know, okay?” 

“Are the things you missed them for things you could have gotten done had your plate not been so full?” Markus asked, leaning forward now too, uncrossing his legs and resting his arms on his desk. “I’m worried you’ve got too much going on. You really don’t think so?” 

“It’s not...they weren’t…” Isak scrambled, feeling cornered, never really having Markus be so intrusive before. He always knew he cared but he didn’t think he’d care this much. “It’s a lot, but Even and I have it under control. Those days were for _me_ so I could spend time with my husband and my dying friend, okay?” 

“You’re supposed to still have time for yourself, though,” Markus said, remaining calm even though Isak was getting bothered, feeling like he was going to lash out. He couldn’t handle someone telling him he couldn’t do this. “That’s what I’m saying. Maybe we should just move you back into the PsyD program, no harm done and maybe it’ll lessen the stress.” 

“No, I’m doing this,” Isak said and grabbed his bag, standing up. “Thank you for this, but I’m fine where I am. I’ve got this.” 

“Isak, wait,” Markus called after him as he left the room, “Sorry about your friend!” 

Isak’s eyesight was blurry from tears that he wouldn’t let spill. He wasn’t sure if they were angry or sad tears, but he was pretty sure he was just pissed. Markus was supposed to encourage him, not tell him he couldn’t do it. Isak had enough time, he had time for all of it and then some. He just wasn’t allocating it in all the right places. But, he could, he would. 

“Hey, whoa Isak, you okay?” Isak rubbed his eyes quickly, getting the tears out as he looked at the person he’d just ran into. Mats. And he didn’t know why he wasn’t back at the hospital, but it almost felt like he’d been following him. 

“Why are you here?” 

“I’m going to see Markus, he emailed me this morning,” Mats said with shrug. “Probably the same one you got. Just checking up on us to see if we’ve cracked yet. Wait..I mean, is that what’s wrong? What’d he say?” 

“Nei, I’m not upset about anything,” Isak said, looking up at the ceiling and blinking out the rest of his tears then looking back down at him. He felt stupid because Mats was probably there to get praise from Markus and Isak was just being told he was failing at everything. 

“Yeah, _okay_ ,” Mats said with a sarcastic chuckle. “You might be mad at me but I still know you. Is it Eva? I heard about everything. Is she okay?” 

“Eva’s fine,” Isak told him. “Awake, getting better and better and as long as she _listens_ to the doctor from here on out, things should be okay.” 

“Okay, fine, let’s assume you’re fine, then, as you say you are,” Mats prefaced, raising his eyebrows at Isak and pausing long enough for Isak to wonder if he was ever going to go on. He tilted his head forward and raised his eyebrows back and then Mats smiled and went on, “You’re fine, but what are we? I mean, I know you’ve got a lot of friends, man, but you’re like the best friend I have. Like, my best friend, you know?” 

“I don’t know what to say or what to think,” Isak told him honestly, moving himself to lean up against a nearby railing. He sighed and looked at the ceiling again, talking to it instead of at Mats. “Even’s my best friend. But, I know what you mean. We get along and we get each other. We have a good time. I don’t want us to be on the outs. But I seriously need you to be honest with me.” 

“I don’t seriously believe that you wouldn’t be someone’s friend if they weren’t ready to come out,” Mats said with a little laugh, a nervous laugh that made Isak snap his head back in Mats direction to look at him. “But, if you want me to be honest. Remember how I said Jonas had it all figured out? Well, maybe he does. Maybe Even does. Maybe it’s not a gender thing. Maybe I like who I like.” 

“Well, okay, thank you for the honesty,” Isak said, feeling a little shocked by the actual revelation. His cheeks felt a little red. He didn’t want to have to make Mats admit anything. He just didn’t know how to deal with it without knowing. But now there was more information and he didn’t know what to do with it. “And so, maybe you’ve got it figured out now. Or maybe you don’t. Jonas used to tell me I as lucky I knew I liked guys and only guys. Something about grey areas or black and white or something. But, maybe it’s different for everyone. Even says he felt liberated to know who he was.” 

“Isak, you’re rambling,” Mats said, reaching out and putting a hand on his arm briefly. When he took it back, he shoved his hands into his pockets then kicked the ground. “Listen, it’s not going to be you. If it’s any dude. Which, honestly, all of this is a maybe. So maybe it’ll pass or maybe it won’t or maybe I just need to hit a gay bar or something like you said. I don’t know.” 

“You sound...so confused,” Isak said, swallowing hard and running hand through his hair. “You know, sometimes I think that people decided straight was the only way because all of this is so confusing. They were afraid of that grey Jonas was talking about. But you don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be, or do anything you don’t want to do.” 

“Not too bad advice for someone who doesn’t like boobs,” Mats said with a little smirk. 

“Show me some nice man boobs, I’m sure I’ll go for it,” Isak said with a laugh, noticing Mats slight flexing of his pecks as he finished saying it. “But, I gotta get out of here. We’re cool, man. So, let me know if you need me and Ev to bring you to a gay bar or something.”

“Maybe I’ll take you up on that, maybe not,” Mats said teasingly as Isak walked away. Isak rolled his eyes to himself, not really sure he was excited to tell Even the news. They’d been over the ifs but now it was real. He just hoped Even believed Mats words about it not being Isak. Because Isak wasn’t sure he believed them yet, either. Not that he was _that_ full of himself, but….well, if Isak felt the connection, he would guess Mats did too. 

 

_Friday, May 31_  
*  
Even and Isak decided to dress up nice for each other when they went to the bar with their friends that evening. Generally, they’d just wear they’re everyday clothes but Isak had the idea earlier on in the day when Jonas proposed the bar to him. Of course Even agreed, anything to see Isak in some sexy clothing. But Isak seemed less into it when they were sharing the mirror to fix their hair. He was very quiet, very intense, focused on his hair but almost seeming to be staring into space. He was barely even acknowledging the fact that Even was there, sharing a mirror with him and looking ultra hot. 

“I did something wrong, didn’t I?” Even asked, stepping aside and feeling his hair fall immediately out of place. He looked at Isak, who looked great in his tight black pants v-neck and jean jacket—which definitely used to be Even’s at one point, but he himself had opted for his faux leather jacket, so he wouldn’t argue. 

“Of course not,” Isak said, a confused look crossing his face and then lightening when he looked at Even. “No, you didn’t do anything. If you did, trust me, you’d know.” 

“I would have figured that but I’d rather assume the worst,” Even said with a little shrug before stepping back forward and taking Isak’s hands. “But, maybe that’s not the worst if you’re getting up in your mind about something. Want to tell me what you’re thinking about?” 

“It’s not about Mats.” 

“I wasn’t even thinking that it was,” Even said, raising both his eyebrows at him. It was a pretty curious thing to say. Even’s brain wasn’t even on Mats until Isak said it. He thought they settled that. Maybe not. “But now I kind of am.” 

“It really wasn’t, I was thinking about Eva and Noora,” Isak said, sliding his hands up Even’s arms and stepping closer. “Noora told me that she’s lost Eva before, and that she doesn’t want to lose her again. And, this sounds awful but that sounds kind of lucky...to know what it’s like. To live without each other. Like if something does happen. At least they know.” 

“And you don’t know,” Even said almost immediately, feeling his heart sink to his stomach. Isak had never been with anyone else. Isak had never lived without Even and he was upset about it. He was going to want to try it. Breaking up would be extremely painful, being without each other after spending their entire lives together, but maybe to Isak it wouldn’t be as painful as Even dying a sudden death. 

“Even, stop that, you’re overthinking my words,” Isak said, reading Even like a book. He took Even’s face in both his hands and made him look at him, bringing him close. “I never want to live without you. And if something fucking happened and I had to....God, I don’t know if I could. I don’t think I have it in me.” 

“I don’t know if I could, either,” Even said, letting his own hands drop to his sides and relaxing himself into Isak’s touch. He and Isak had talked about this briefly about three times before. Once sometime after they got engaged, again after they were married, and again when the first found out Eva was sick. They never really talked in depth though. It upset them both. A lot. “But we can’t actually do the Romeo and Juliet thing. I’d need you to go on, you know. And I’d go one for you. I would just miss you every single goddamn day left in my life.”

“Don’t you dare make me cry right now,” Isak said, pulling back and wiping his eyes. 

“You’re the one thinking about it,” Even said with a little laugh, reaching up and fixing one of Isak’s curls. Now Even would just need to finish his own hair. “You look great, though.” 

“I’m not done just yet,” Isak said with a smile and then opened up one of the drawers next to the sink, digging through it and pulling out the little black pencil. Eyeliner. “The real reason I can’t cry.” 

“You’re going to kill me,” Even said, watching him in the mirror briefly then returning back to his hair. It didn’t really want to stay in place because it was too long. He’d get it cut before they flew to the states, but before then he’d just let it grow. “We should just ditch our friends and go to some gay bar so I can show you off on a dance floor.” 

“We can probably do that and invite them,” Isak said with a shrug. “Really the only one who goes to the bar to meet people is Mats and that could be the perfect experience for him.” 

“Or a very scarring experience. Some of those guys don’t have filters,” Even said, stepping back again but continuing to keep his hands on his hair. He slowly took them off and watched himself in the mirror. It stayed in place that time. Thank God, he was done. “I thought you weren’t supposed to be talking to him though. Until he figured his shit out. The ultimatum?” 

“Oh yeah,” Isak, looking to the side guiltily then back up at Even. “I never gave him the ultimatum. But, I did run into him. He thinks he could be pansexual, like you. Or not. He said he’ll figure it out in time. I made it very clear though that I will not be the experiment, that I’ve got you and that’s all I need. Okay?” 

“Did he say pansexual like _me?_ ” 

“Well, he said you and Jonas may have the right idea or something like that,” Isak shrugged. “It’s not a big deal because he’s still probably not. Or maybe he’s something else. But who cares? I don’t. I really, really don’t.” 

“I know, I know, me either,” Even said, not wanting to say what he was actually thinking. That Isak used Mats heterosexuality to help him get over the idea of Mats. It may not have been the only thing to help Isak get over him, but it was a big help and now maybe that was reversed. And feelings were weird, especially if they ones he had were built on false pretenses. It made Even nervous, but he told himself not to be, giving himself a little mental shake down. “So yeah, maybe let’s go to a gay bar and maybe for sure we have to go back to London to help you get over this whole Eva thing.”  
*

None of their friends minded going to a gay bar or club, but Jonas was very particular about the ones he’d go to, so they ended up at a club of his choosing. Which was fine, it was a nice place, good drinks, good music, flashing lights, and a dance floor for Even to show off Isak the way he promised he would. They were grinding and making out, sharing drinks at the bar, and catching jealous looks from some of the singles in the crowd. 

Isak was just letting go; Markus said he needed to make sure he had time for himself and this was exactly what that was. Everything that was going on and all his responsibilities were left at the door. Besides maybe Mats, but he had Jonas and Sonja on Mats duty so he wasn’t worrying about that. Except for the couple times that the looks Isak was catching from jealous singles was coming from him. But Even hadn’t said anything, so he didn’t think he noticed so it was easy to let go and just focus on him. 

“Isak, everything’s a go, it’s happening,” Jonas said, snapping Isak out of his Even trance. They had been back on the dance floor and Isak hadn’t even seen Jonas coming. He snapped his eyes open and looked at him, a little hazy from the alcohol he’d consumed that evening, and having literally no idea what Jonas could be talking about. The only thing that Isak could think of as a go was the hard-on Even had that he’d been grinding into. 

“What is?” Isak asked, easing up on Even and moving his hands to his sides. They were both seriously sweaty and needed a break anyway, probably. Maybe even a trip to the bathroom to ease up on some of the tension they were building up.

“Mats and some guy just disappeared into the back,” Jonas said, his eyes lighting up with excitement, the idea of anyone getting it on getting him hard nowadays. He clapped a hand on Isak’s shoulder and smirked. “I don’t know how you do it but you’re turning everyone, man.” 

“ _I_ didn’t turn him, I made him curious,” Isak sighed, looking around and off into the back, No sign of Mats, but he was feeling a little jealous. He had grown used to Mats being heterosexual and it was comforting knowing that he didn’t like Isak because he was straight and not because Isak was a bad choice. The fact that his drunken mind had to be reminded that it wasn’t because it was a bad choice, but instead because Isak was married made him a little bit angry with himself. Coming here with them was probably a terrible choice. “Did you check out the guy? Is he a safe choice? I mean, Mats could be getting in way over his head.”

“Nah, Isak chill,” Jonas said, shaking his head and then looking at Isak then up at Even for a second before looking back to Isak. “Sonja picked him out and everything. It’s a pretty safe bet. Besides, Mats can take care of himself. Gay, straight, whatever, he’s got this.” 

“He does,” Even said behind him and moving his hands to grip onto Isak’s hips again. “I think maybe we should grab some water though. Let’s go back to the table and come dance again in a bit.” 

Isak nodded and let Jonas lead the two of them back to their table. Even kept his hands on Isak’s hips the entire time, probably making sure that he was still showing him off. Which just made Isak feel worse because of that stupid jealousy in the pit of his stomach over Mats. He made sure to cuddle right into him when they were in their booth. Mutta, Chris, Jonas and Sonja were there, too, chatting and drinking. 

“The gays of the evening have returned.” Jonas announced as they rejoined them. Isak wouldn’t lie that besides that jealousy, he was having a great night. He felt amazing, on top of the world while Even showed him off. He really did feel like they were the _gays of the evening_ , that everyone’s eyes were on them and it was great. It was perfect and they were perfect and he needed to stop being stupid and jealous. If that would stop, the evening would be exactly what he had needed. He just needed to not think about whatever Mats was doing. 

“So, what do you guys think?” Chris asked excitedly, “Do you think Mats has been gay all along?” 

“He’s just curious,” Isak said, wanting to feel positive about that. Mats was experimenting—not with Isak—and then he was going to go back to being totally confident in his heterosexuality. That was what was going to happen. There was no other way. “That guy is going to want Mats to go down on him and Mats’ll choke on his dick ‘cause it’s not him.” 

“If you can’t tell, Isak is a little drunk,” Even said with a little laugh, ruffling the hair Isak spent all that time fixing before they went out. But, he followed it with a kiss, so Isak didn’t complain. “I’m going to go get us some water. Does anyone else need anything?” 

“Don’t leave me,” Isak pouted, hanging onto him. He was afraid of him leaving. His touch was intoxicating, it made it easier to not think about Mats or the jealousy. He didn’t want that to go away, not even for a second. So, he held on tight and looked at Jonas, mustering up his best puppy dog eyes, “Can you get it for us? I’ll buy you a beer.” 

“Deal,” Jonas said, hitting the table and getting up. Isak fished out his wallet and handed him his credit card before he took off with everyone else’s orders. Once he was gone, Isak curled up to Even once more, listening to the conversation his friends were still having about Mats but mostly focusing on Even’s skin and his smell, hoping that they could disappear into the back eventually too.

 

_Saturday, June 1_

“What’s the date?” Yousef asked, wiping his face with his napkin and sitting back. It was date night for Yousef and Sana and they invited Isak and Even out with them, which was an honor, and Isak was more than grateful because they were in need of adult talk. With their other friends, it was hookups, games, and drinking, mainly. Of course, with Even, they had adult talk but it was different when they could have actual discussion with their friends about their plans and life without meaningless interruption. 

They were talking about their flight. With Terje’s money, they booked one that morning. A one way to LAX with a layover in London. Their housing was narrowed down to two places that the school helped them find and they sent applications to. They’d use Terje’s money to put down a down payment when the places responded, and Isak was keeping all the receipts because he was planning to pay back every bit of it. 

“July tenth, it’s a Wednesday,” Even answered, all smiles as he picked up his water and sipped it. Isak was finally starting to feel better from his hangover, having gotten pretty drunk from the night before, so he was also drinking water, which meant no one at the table was drinking. 

“So soon,” Sana said with a little pout, the sad expression lasting just a second before she shrugged and picked up her fork again. “I’ll make sure Vilde throws a going away party. Eva will probably be well enough by then so that they can fly out here, too.” 

“We’ll mix it with my birthday,” Isak said, which he’d already really started planning as their going away party instead of his birthday. He didn’t care. He was turning twenty-five, and while Even was older, Isak felt like he was already getting too old. He didn’t want to be one of those people who refused to age, but he felt like he was slowly getting to be that way. 

“Uh, no,” Yousef said, “You’ll be turning a quarter of a century. We can’t just mix the two. Both are special and unique occasions. Besides, multiple reasons to have nights with adults sounds amazing right now.” 

“I don’t know,” Isak said, licking his lips and looking at Even. It wasn’t like he minded a party either. Especially with all his friends before he moved somewhere for a year away. And he could handle being 25, maybe, but there was more. “Multiple parties means more room for drama. I really don’t want drama right before we leave and it seems to follow us.” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything so true,” Sana said with a little laugh, eating a bite of her food and then wiping her mouth. “Are you still worried about Mats causing drama or is there someone else?” 

“That sounds like you’re digging for gossip,” Yousef teased, smirking at her and giving her hand that was on the table a little squeeze. She looked back at him and then he shrugged and looked back at the boys. “And I know this is all supposed to be adult and mature, but we could honestly use a little gossip. As much as we hate to admit it. Plus, we like to know what’s going on. So we can fix it. Because we’re _that_ awesome couple.” 

“Right, that’s why, not because you thrive off our misery,” Even teased now, too. He rolled his eyes and then looked at Isak. “What do you think? Mats is probably the biggest drama, right?”

“Yeah,” Isak said with a little sigh, scratching the back of his neck and looking down. Mats had hooked up with some guy the night before. Mat’s response was that it was fine, whatever it was, and it could happen again, but it probably wouldn’t unless he knew the guy and apparently gay bars weren’t for him. Not for hookups, anyway. The conclusion didn’t really help Isak and the guilt that he felt from the jealousy he’d had, but somehow all of that had to be put behind him. “He’s doing the experimenting thing. Or he did or who knows. As long as he’s not weird with me and Even anymore then all of that is chill. Mikael and Ebba are kind of weird too. Right Ev?”

“Oh yeah,” Even said, taking Isak’s turn of the conversation without any hesitation or questioning, which was much to Isak’s relief. He wasn’t sure why he was being so stupid about all of it, but he really didn’t want to talk or dwell or think about it. Everything was fine when he didn’t. “They were so weird. Trying to one up us and kind of like, point out our flaws. I don’t know. It felt really weird.” 

“Honestly, I don’t see the engagement lasting,” Yousef said. 

“Yousef, you gossip,” Sana teased him, obviously getting him back for earlier in the conversation.He kissed her on the cheek with a laugh and then she went back to talking to Isak and Even, “But, yeah, I agree with him. Magnus and Vilde are a better couple and you see where they are.” 

“The relationship definitely seems forced,” Isak said with a little shrug, not liking the idea of Mikael not getting married. He hoped that he still would and he’d still stay away from Even. Which was probably a little hypocritical of him at that point in time, given Mats, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted Even all to himself, and he’d make sure that no matter what he was feeling, Even would have Isak all to himself. “I guess we’ll see.” 

They went on and by the end of the evening, the two couples had an agreement. Isak and Even promised to help keep them up to speed with gossip as long as Yousef and Sana provided conversation other than who was hooking up with who. It was nice to have them around. Sana had always been there for him and she was still there to help him feel a little more human. So, after dinner when Yousef and Sana came over, he found a way to get her alone, to continue with the gossip and hopefully get a little advice one-on-one. 

“You think Even bought that excuse? You’re a terrible liar,” Sana said with a laugh as they walked into Even and Isak’s room, closing the door behind them. To get her alone, he’d told Even that he needed her help with something on his research project. He couldn’t think on the spot for specifics, so he messed up the lie a little, but he thought it’d be fine. “So, what do you actually need me for?” 

“I needed you alone for this and I’m just going to come right out with it,” Isak said, feeling like he was just about to word vomit everywhere. He hoped Sana was ready. “Last night when Mats was hooking up with that guy, I felt jealous. I don’t know why. I’m literally the worst human being in the world.” 

“Well how do you feel about it today?” Sana asked, not delaying, thinking on her feet and going with it without any bias. 

“Confused and like I’m just plain terrible,” Isak said honestly. He was exhausted with the confusion. “I love Even so much and Even and I are meant to be together and we’re going to have a baby. Why would I be jealous? How am I jealous when I have the most perfect thing in the world?”

“You’re not as awful as you say you are, you’re human,” Sana said with a smile, reaching out and patting Isak on the shoulder. It was a wise smile, one that said she knew way more than him so he needed to listen and not question. “You felt jealous. You didn’t act on it. You wouldn’t act on feelings like that for anyone besides Even. I don’t even need to ask because I know that for a fact. Sometimes we like people we shouldn’t and sometimes we have urges we need not act on. It’s human. So stop.” 

“I still have to tell Even and he’ll be so hurt.”

“If it’ll ease your conscience, I think he’ll understand,” Sana said, raising her eyebrows. “He’s a good guy and he’s just as crazy about you as you are him. Relax, Isak. You’re really working yourself up on this one.”

“I just don’t ever want to give Even a reason to think that I don’t love him as much as I do,” Isak sighed, tilting his head back and looking at the ceiling. He didn’t want to get worked up about the jealousy, because Sana was right, he’d never act on it. But he;d been here before with Even and back then everything felt so truly broken and he never wanted to be that broken. He couldn’t. 

“I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit,” Sana said, her hand back on Isak’s shoulder. 

“Maybe not.” 

 

_Monday, June 3_

“We’ve got to put all this planning to rest so that I can plan for your birthday instead,” Even said as they got home that evening. They had met with the head of the charity they were looking to donate to and everything seemed pretty legit. They were even helping them contact the places in California about the profiles they sent in to apply for the surrogacy process. They even operated out of Oslo so they were local, making everything seem to fall into place. “We’re mostly done anyway, until we actually get out there, anyway.” 

“Maybe,” Isak said with a little shrug, not sure he could let go of the weight on his shoulder telling him that everything had to be planned perfectly. “I still have a lot of research and school work to do, though. And I still think that we don’t need to do anything for my birthday.” 

“Awh, come on, where’s my little birthday brat?” Even asked, the two of them making their way into the living room and plopping down on the couch. Even grabbed Isak’s legs and pulled them up over his own, wrapping his arms around his waist. “I know how much you love being spoiled. And I love spoiling you extra on your birthday so you should be at your brattiest about this.” 

“I don’t mind you spoiling me,” Isak told him truthfully as he wrapped his arms around Even’s neck and pulled himself more into his lap, thinking that he wouldn’t mind being seriously spoiled right then. “There’s just a lot with Mats and then who knows what other drama might come up between then and now. Also, I don’t want to get old. I want to stop. I’m not going to age like you.” 

“I will literally kill anyone who tries to start drama on _your_ birthday,” Even said, raising his eyebrows and pulling back a little to put his hands on either side of Isak’s face. “And you’re aging beautifully, my love. Every day you get hotter and hotter. Stop thinking you peaked at seventeen.” 

“Well, that _is_ when I got you.” 

“And you still have me,” Even said, rubbing his thumbs on Isak’s cheeks while his hands slid down to the sides of his neck. “That’s got to mean something. I mean, I’m way superficial. If you peaked at seventeen, I’d be so long gone at this point. Out of Oslo, dating a tall blonde with seriously amazing bone structure, piercing green eyes….basically you..but...mmm...better?” 

“It’s so funny you say that because I’m looking to trade up for a newer model too,” Isak said lowly, running a hand slowly through Even’s perfect hair. He could never trade up, there was nothing to trade up to. Whatever jealousy he felt for Mats and his hook up, he still didn’t think that Mats was an upgrade. Even was it. Isak ran his hands through Even’s hair a few more times and then traced his facial features slowly. “Like, seven feet tall, sparkly blue eyes, high cheekbones, square jaw….sexy, sexy body.” 

“Seven feet? I doubt he moves that body sexily,” Even said with a laugh, slipping his hands down Isak’s shoulders and his back. When they were on his lower back, he pulled his torso to his own. “Take it from someone who can barely keep control as is.”

“You do a damn good job,” Isak told him as their foreheads met. They hadn’t eaten dinner yet and Isak was already hungry, but he had a feeling they’d be working up an appetite. Even’s breath was on his face, their lips so damn close that it was a struggle to keep them apart. So he didn’t, letting their lips collide, the kiss immediately feverish and hungry. Isak was suddenly starving for so much more than the food they’d been talking about on their way home. But, Even pushed him down to the couch, severing the kiss and smirking down at him as he pulled up Isak’s shirt just a little, admiringly. 

“Just so we’re clear, I love you as you are,” Even told him, running a finger over Isak’s abs and then looking up at his face. “No amount of years, whatever scars or wrinkles they bring, will change that, Is. Even if you want me to be a giant.” 

“Well, in that case I want a chocolate fountain, and a champagne fountain for my party,” Isak smirked back, biting his lip for a moment to take in Even’s amused expression. He reached up and grabbed the waist of Even’s jeans, slipping his fingers down the front. “And you. Twenty-five times or twenty-five positions or something.” 

“We’ll come back to that when you’re not thinking about getting fucked,” Even said with a little laugh, reaching down and taking Isak’s hand away. He then pulled off his shirt and then reached down and helped Isak out of his, too. Obviously, he wanted to do the work so Isak let him, letting himself relax as Even started taking care of him. He let him undress him and didn’t sit up until Even got up to get the lube. There was some in the end table, and Isak watched Even get it, sitting himself up against the back of the couch and rubbing himself a little. 

And Even was right, all Isak could think about was getting fucked. He was filled with the need, spreading his legs immediately for Even when he knelt down in front of him on the couch. Even laughed and met his eyes as he slathered some lube onto his fingers. His own vision was clouded with the need for him, but he kept his eyes on Even’s, not breaking as he pressed two fingers inside of Isak. He wanted to tilt his head back and howl, press his hips into the feeling, and plead for more. But, instead he kept the eye contact, his hands flying to Even’s biceps, digging his nails in and trying not to whimper. It just already felt so good, Even’s fingers all the way inside and slowly starting to move. 

“Make this quick, I want _you_ ,” Isak managed to mutter, using every bit of strength he had to make it sound at least a little dominant. 

“And I want you,” Even said before pressing in a third finger, pressing them inside and twisting. It was a little stretch, nothing Isak wasn’t used to, though. In fact he relished it, this time allowing himself to break eye contact with Even, tilting his head back and closing his eyes as Even moved his fingers around. Once Isak let out the littlest moan though, Even pulled back, taking away his fingers completely. Isak’s eyes snapped open and he looked at him as Even stood in front of him, “You’re good. Stand up.” 

Isak did as he was told, mostly because he was already aching at the loss of Even’s fingers and he’d do anything to finally feel full. He’d let Even boss him around if he could finally have him inside. He stood up and Even sat down, grabbing the lube again and squirting some on his dick. Isak understood what he wanted then, so he leaned down and helped him coat his dick, giving it a few extra pumps just because. Before pulling back, he leaned in a kissed him again, making it slow and steady. 

“Just to be clear,” Isak said as he stood back up, looking Even over, his body and his eyes on fire, “I love you just as you are. And not just because you have an amazing dick.” 

“But, it’s a plus,” Even said, smiling and then grabbing Isak’s hips and spinning him around. Isak followed his lead and spread his cheeks, leaning back and slowly sitting down. He made sure to take Even in slowly, knowing they didn’t do that much leading up to that point, knowing what to expect of the stretch. As Even filled him up, the stretch burned so good. And Even sprinkled kisses over the back of Isak’s shoulders and neck, sending tingles of support down his spine. As Isak bottomed out, he tilted his head back onto Even’s shoulder, feeling him kiss up to Isak’s ear before mumbling, “You feel so good.” 

“So-oohh do you,” Isak barely got out as he slowly placed his feet on the edge of the couch near Even’s knees and reached an arm up on the back of the couch for leverage. He used the position to slowly start moving his hips as Even’s lips met his. Even’s hands held Isak’s hip and ass, helping guide him up and down on top of him, every movement slow as Isak adjusted to the feeling and the position with Even so deep inside him. 

Their mouths moved together, practically swallowing the other’s tongue in an effort to be ever-closer. It was sweet and slow with the pace of their hips. No matter how hungry they had been, Isak needed that moment. He needed to think about every piece of his body that was touching Even’s, needed to feel every inch of him with each slow thrust. He needed to taste every bit of his mouth, feel the insides of his pearly teeth. He needed to touch and feel and taste and do and know that Even was doing the same thing for him, savoring every moment of their closeness. 

It started growing faster and sloppier as Isak picked up his pace though. They still wanted the connection but Isak’s mind was scrambled with pleasure, making it hard to focus on where Even’s lips were. All he could really focus on was the question of what he could do to feel more, to drive the both of them wild and it was like Even was on the same page, now thrusting his hips up into Isak’s ass, meeting it hard each time, slamming into the sweet, sweet feeling that rippled up Isak’s stomach and spine. Suffice it to say that he was okay sacrificing the tight connection of their lips for that feeling. 

“ _Faen_ ,” Isak moaned, his lips still brushing the side of Even’s lips as they moved. They were starting to get sweaty and Isak knew he wouldn’t be able to hold his position much longer, but he kept going, everything just feeling so good, filling him up with an energy that was literally about to burst. But, his foot slipped and he fell down completely onto Even, who grabbed at his hips to steady him and moaned out. 

“Agh, fuck!” 

“Oh my God,” Isak started to scrambled, trying to get off of him. “Did I hurt you? Oh my God.” 

“Neineineineinei,” Even groaned holding Isak still and resting his head on his shoulder for a moment. “Nei, I’m okay. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Isak nodded, reaching back and running a hand through Even’s hair. “Reposition and finish?” 

“Mm,” Even said, nodding his forehead just a little against Isak’s shoulder and then lifting his head up. “Here,” he slowly moved under Isak turning them sideways on the couch then laying down, “cowgirl up.” 

“Cow _boy_ ,” Isak corrected as he turned in Even’s lap, moving to face him with his legs bent next to either side of his waist. He put his hand on his chest and leaned down with his hand on Even’s chest, moving slowly again to find their rhythm, watching Even to make sure he really wasn’t hurt. And once he could tell by Even’s moans, his agape mouth, and his eyes losing focus, he knew he could move fast again. 

Their pace eventually picked back up to speed, Even’s hips meeting Isak’s again, and this time, they were able to keep it up until they came. Even’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, moaning out Isak’s name as he spilled inside him, and the rupture of his cum inside him made Isak come immediately, tossing his head back and calling out Even’s name. 

“Do you think my post-sex mind is too hazy to make birthday decisions, too?” Isak asked after a few moments laying on Even’s chest, listening to his heartbeat as the two of them heaved to catch their breath. “Because twenty-five of you. Statues or clones so we can have an orgy. But you times twenty-five.” 

“I’m going to say still too hazy,” Even laughed, shaking his head and tightening his grip around Isak’s back. “I couldn’t share you with twenty-four other me’s. And statues, no, ice sculptures, maybe but I’m still voting no.” 

“Fine, think of something twenty-fivey and combine it with you, then,” Isak grumbled against Even’s chest, reaching up and tangling his fingers in Even’s hair. “As the birthday boy, I demand it.”

“That’s my boy,” Even chucked, lifting his head and kissing the top of Isak’s. “I’ll think of something.”

 

_Tuesday, June 4_

****

~Jonas~

****

**  
**  
_Is Even making anything good tonight? Sonja and I are starved. 17:41_

_He’s always making something good. I’ll see if he’s making enough. 17:45_

“Hey, Ev, will we have enough for dinner to invite over Jonas and Sonja?” Isak asked as they pulled up to their apartment. Even was always making extras for leftovers for lunch, so they did tend to have enough, but Isak was trying to make a point of asking Even before inviting over Jonas after that one morning.

“Oh, tonight?” Even asked as he got out of the car, walking over and opening up Isak’s door. He looked down at him guiltily, biting his lip. “I, uh...Mikael asked and I said he and Ebba could come over. There’ll be plenty, but…” 

“When did this happen? Were you just going to surprise me when they showed up?” Isak asked, just a little annoyed, wishing that Even would do what he wanted from Isak. Ask, talk, give a damn heads up. “Seriously, Even, especially those two, they’re so annoying. I’m definitely saying yes to Jonas now.” 

“Okay, that’s fine, I’m sorry,” Even said, taking Isak’s hand and pulling him close to Even’s chest. Isak looked up at him, still giving him a look to tell him he wasn’t forgiven just yet. Even raised his eyebrows back at him and then let out a little sigh. “I was going to tell you when we got inside. I was going to butter you up with beer and a foot rub or something.” 

“Why didn’t you ask me before answering _him_?” Isak asked,hating the bit of jealousy that slipped from his voice, especially with how far into the past Mikael really was. 

“It was bombardment, honestly,” Even said, leaning down and kissing Isak’s forehead before pulling away and starting to lead him into the house. Isak followed begrudgingly, suddenly not ready for the evening ahead of him. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. And I know that they’ve been pretty weird since they showed up but maybe it’s been like..an adjustment period. Let’s give them another chance, maybe two.” 

“Mhmmm,” Isak said as the two of them walked into the kitchen of their apartment. He dramatically let himself fall against Even, pouting his lip and wrapping his arms around his neck. “You’re lucky I love you and I’ll do anything that makes you happy. Including being Mikael’s friend.” 

“I understand, you know,” Even said, taking Isak’s hips and helping him up onto the counter. “I hope someday it won’t be so weird, but for now, make sure Jonas and Sonja come and we’ll make it double weird.” 

“Alright, but I’m only inviting them because you’re a jerk who didn’t ask me first,” Isak teased, smirking at Even as he dug his phone out of his pocket. “And I still want a foot rub and a very special act of forgiveness once we get them all the hell out. Which better be like, 22:00, latest.” 

“Jonas is the one we always have to kick out,” Even said with a little laugh, rubbing Isak’s sides, “So that’ll be up to you, but I’ll make sure you get your foot rub and your forgiveness. But, right now I’ve got to get dinner started and you probably have some homework to do, so why don’t you get to that.” 

“It’s not considered homework, more like a project,” Isak said, squinting his eyes at Even and then jumping down from the counter in front of him. “But yes sir, I’ll get on that right after I let Jonas know what’s going on. Call me if you need help with anything.” 

 

_20:33_  
When Isak told Jonas that Mikael and Ebba would be coming too, he had to argue it. Sonja and Jonas were always weird with Mikael because of of everything with Jonas and Mikael, but Isak pleaded that he needed Jonas there. He couldn’t do it without him, and he definitely wasn’t above guilt tripping him into it and so he did and so they were there. 

Dinner went fine, everyone seeming to be on their best behavior as if it were some sort of royal event, but after dinner is when things started to fall. There was an obvious tension between Mikael and Jonas and everyone was trying to ignore it, Ebba especially, who was doing it in the most obvious way by snuggling up to Mikael and being obnoxiously sweet whenever the tension began to rise. 

“I could use another beer, anyone else?” Isak asked, mostly making the excuse to get up and leave the room for a second, to free himself from her perkiness for just a second. He didn’t want to drink too much, seeing as he had work in the morning but he would if it would make the night go by faster. Even though it’d get him scolded by his husband when he refused to wake up in the morning. 

“Oh, let me help, I need a water,” Sonja said, standing up, too and walking with Isak into the kitchen, waiting until they were safely in the other room to talk again. “So, what do you think, I can fake throwing up and then Jonas’ll take me home? Probably not, he’d rather fight with Mikael.” 

“Is it safe to assume that this is what it’s going to be like from now on?” Isak asked as he dug a few bottles of beer out of the fridge.

“Be like what from now on?” Ebba asked, entering the room with a little dance around the doorway, jumping up onto the counter and grabbing a beer that Isak had taken out of the fridge. “Is this about Mats? That whole situation is really interesting, I want all the details.” 

“There’s not much to tell…” Isak spoke hesitantly, trying not to come off as annoyed as he was by the question. Ebba and Sonja were both looking at him, Ebba in waiting and Sonja making the annoyed face that Isak was refusing to make. “Nor is it mine to tell. Mats is figuring himself out.”

“C’mon Isak, it’s just as much yours to tell,” Ebba edged on, jumping down from the counter and looking at Sonja for a confirmation. Sonja picked up her face and gave her a fake smile and a shrug. “I mean, let’s talk this through. Isak liked Mats. But he couldn’t be with Mats because Mats was supposedly straight. So, he settled for Even and now suddenly Mats is gay and could’ve been everything Isak ever wanted. I mean, there has got to be _some_ anger, upset, maybe even _temptation?_ ” 

“Okay, I honestly don’t even know where to start with that,” Isak said, shaking his head and then continuing on with what they left the room to do: get drinks. Sonja had wanted water, he’d get her a cup. So, he went to the cupboard, thinking that Ebba’s words were the closest thing he had to the truth about why he was jealous of Mats. He wasn’t supposed to think about “what if” but what if Mats had been experimenting back then? He wanted to believe he’d always pick Even, even if he’d stray, he’d find his way back, but maybe it was a little unsettling. “Marrying Even was nothing less than destiny. I would never consider being with him settling. He’s perfect.” 

“As someone who’s dated Even I couldn’t disagree more but that’s exactly why you’re perfect together,” Sonja said, walking over to him as he filled the cup with ice and water. She took it from his hand and took a sip. “Thank you. But, even if Mats was doing his shit back then, Even would’ve always been Isak’s choice. I’m more than a hundred percent sure of that.” 

“Which is why there is absolutely no temptation,” Isak said, feeling a little threatened by the conversation, by Ebba. His heart beat a little bit faster and he looked at her. “But I can see why you’re worried about me leaving Even. What with how Mikael obviously feels about Even. You wouldn’t want him to leave you for some guy from his past. I can tell how threatened you _already are_ and we’re _married_ and you’re _engaged_.” 

Isak knew he probably shouldn’t be catty and that he probably shouldn’t have been chewing out Even’s guest in their house but it felt so good to say. He was tired of whatever game Ebba was playing. Her entire demeanor seemed to be an act, a show, fake. He hated fake more than anything, and maybe she was even fake on her feelings for Mikael. Maybe that could be Isak’s defense for when Even was yelling at him later. 

“Well, at least I’m not married but also wishing I could be fucking some other dude,” Ebba said, shoving the beer in her hand into Isak’s chest. “You’re what we’d call a _slut_ where I’m from. Even’s a good guy. So is Mats for that matter. You’re the mess, Isak. I know all about you.” 

“Glad you think so?” Isak didn’t have much else to say, he’d rather just leave, and that she just get the hell out of his house with her fucking accusations. “Well, I’m heading back out there, but I’d prefer it if you left. Bring Mikael with you or I can have Even take him later, I don’t give a fuck, but leave.” 

*  
 _20:35_  
Less than a minute after Isak and Sonja left the room, Ebba followed behind and left the three boys in silence. As the host, Even knew he was the one who was supposed to liven things up, which he could do under basically any other circumstance. But getting Jonas and Mikael to talk about anything directly to each other without it turning into something was near to impossible and being some sort of awkward go between wasn’t working out in the scenarios in Even’s head. So he sighed, giving himself a quick moment to mentally prepare, then clapped to break the tension. 

“Alright boys, I think it’s time to suck it up and be friends already,” Even said confidently, standing up from the couch and grabbing the remote to the stereo to turn it up a little. He’d turn it up more if they started getting rowdy. “It’s been years and I realize things ended weird and maybe it was never resolved but enough is enough. I know you both...pretty well, even more than I wanted to know Jonas, and I know that you guys could be friends and that all of this is nonsense.” 

“No one has to get over anything that they don’t want to, especially for good reason,” Mikael said, sitting back on the couch and crossing his arms across his chest. “Isak is a great example, you know. He still hates me because I dated you first. Even though it’s his fucking fault, he always could have told you how he felt and he didn’t. And you can’t say that he didn’t know how he felt because he totally fucking did. Yet he goes on hating me.” 

“What gives you the right to say anything about how you think Isak felt about anything and when?” Jonas asked, once again jumping to Isak’s defense before Even could. Which was annoying, but at least Isak wasn’t around that time. He probably would’ve said it different but he supposed it was just as effective even though it wasn’t going to get Mikael and Jonas anywhere good. 

“What gives _him_ the right?” Mikael asked, a little louder, making Even turn up the music a little bit more. “He was ogling my boyfriend when we were together. I once caught him watching us make out from across the room. I could fucking tell how he felt, I wasn’t as blind as you were. He was a perv. Watching us, probably getting off to it. You had that connecting door, too, he honestly probably watched us fuck. A perv and a pussy. He should have told you.” 

“You should have told me you were worried or suspect?” Even asked, feeling his fists clench up a little, he didn’t like hearing shit like that about Isak. Also, it made him pissed that Mikael knew that Isak was feeling some way and he hadn’t told him shit. Sure, it probably would’ve made Even leave Mikael faster, but that could’ve been more overall time with Isak. When Mikael just shrugged, he went on. “Isak was not a perv, you don’t know shit. You’re saying Isak is holding on but you’re holding on to literally nothing. So get the fuck over yourself.” 

“Actually, you know what? Let’s get Isak in here,” Jonas clapped, “Then all the bullshit can be dropped. Everyone can apologize. I literally could care less anymore.” 

“That’s the fucking spirit,” Mikael chuckled sarcastically and then Isak and the girls stormed into the room, Ebba blazing mad. Even hadn’t seen her anything but cheery and hadn’t heard her voice not high pitched and happy before, so it was a little shock out of what they’d been talking about. 

“Mikael, get the keys, we’re leaving!” She grabbed her jacket and immediately started walking towards the hallway. “You were right about Isak.” 

“If she’s saying you’re right about what you just told us, you better fucking run, because not only is Even going to kill you, but I will be assisting in the murder,” Jonas said as Isak walked over to Even, handing him and Jonas both a beer, then chugging some of his own. Sonja walked over too, being slow. They were both keeping to themselves. 

“Even wouldn’t,” Mikael laughed and looked him up and down as if there were some sort of lingering sexual tension keeping Even from lunging across the room at him. There wasn’t, but there was Isak, suddenly gripping onto Even’s balled-up fist. 

“I really would,” Even said, his own voice coming out deeper and raspier than expected, as if his anger was taking over. “Get the fuck out and have a nice life.” 

“Here, let me escort you,” Jonas said with a smirk, gesturing his hands down the hallway. Mikael hesitated for a moment, looked at Ebba, at Even, back at Ebba before finally walking down the hall.   
*

_22:20_  
Fresh out of the shower, the boys were snuggled up in bed, their hair soaking the pillows while their naked bodies tangled up together in their usual puzzle placements. Isak rested his head on Even’s shoulder and closed is his eyes, wanting to sleep but knowing this was the last time to ask about whatever the fuck Mikael said, whatever the fuck he told Ebba about Isak. Between how mad Even _and_ Jonas were about it and Ebba’s apparent disgust, he was kind of afraid to know. 

He and Even had spent a little over an hour hanging out with Jonas and Sonja before they started saying they were tired and asked them to leave for the night. After Mikael and Ebba were gone, they changed gears completely, turning off the music and on the TV and having mindless conversation about anything but Mikael and Ebba and that’s how the night stayed until now.

“I’ve been debating on whether or not I want to know about what Mikael said,” Isak took a deep breath and lifted his head, looking at Even in the eyes. “And I’ve decided that I do want to know. I think I have the right to know.”

“You don’t want to know, Isak,” Even sighed, moving a hand to run through Isak’s hair, straightening out a few knots that had formed at the top of his head from where Even’s chin had been resting. “I know what you’re going to say or think and it’s just not worth it because Mikael is stupid. Just stupid. He doesn’t know shit about anything and I don’t need you to get all critical of yourself on me.” 

“Wait, so it’s something I really did?” Isak asked, sitting up completely and looking down at him with his eyes wide. “Now I have to know. To fix it or something. Tell me.” 

“It’s not, though, not really,” Even groaned and sat up, grabbing Isak’s shoulders and looking him in the eyes. “I know we’re supposed to talk and tell eachother everything but I hate to think I’m going to be telling you something that you’re going to beat yourself up about when it’s not something to beat yourself up about.”

“Just tell me and tell me why I shouldn’t feel bad and then I’ll decide whether or not I should,” Isak said, crossing his arms and looking at Even seriously. He wanted to know what it was. He needed to know what it was. He deserved to, especially if Mikael was going around saying shit about it to people. “Please, Even.” 

“He had said that he once caught you staring at us while we were making out,” Even sighed, rubbing Isak’s biceps and looking at him with sad eyes. “And so from there he was saying you got yourself off by watching us or whatever. That you probably watched us having sex and got off to it because you were a _perv_ , as he called it. You didn’t do that and you weren’t so it’s fine, okay. That’s it, let’s forget about him and move on.” 

“Okay, let’s,” Isak barely choked out as a lump formed in his throat. He had watched them make out on multiple occasions. Generally, he didn’t realize he was doing it until he had been for who knows how many moments, but he had. But, that didn’t even matter because he _did_ get off to them. He didn’t watch them fuck but he’d heard it, he’d thought about it. He’d been perverse and he hadn’t even ever looked at it that way. No wonder why Mikael hated him, he invited himself into their intimate moments until he got his own. 

“You see, Isak, this is exactly why I didn’t tell you,” Even said, pulling Isak into his chest and pressing his hands to his back. “Baby, all teenage boys do what you did. It’d be different if you did what he said but you didn’t. It’s all relative so just don’t beat yourself up about it. Mikael’s a jerk and I’m sorry I thought we could all be friends. I guess there are just some friends who you grow out of, and some that you can never be friends with again after you’ve gone down other paths. It’s just how the world works, and I have to accept that. I am accepting that.” 

“Well…” Isak sighed, pulling back from Even’s embrace and looking him in the eyes. He was still feeling uneasy, but he knew that Even really was upset about Mikael. All hope he’d had for the friendship he once had was completely gone and Even was infinitely more important than Isak feeling mortified about once being a horny teenage boy. “We can spend tonight feeling bad and comforting each other and tomorrow we figure out how to move on from it.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Even said with a little laugh, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to Isak’s. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

 

_Thursday, June 6_

Marianne and her caretaker joined Isak and Even’s family for dinner that week, which was always nice because Ana would be on her best behavior and those dinners tended to go by without incident. That made it the perfect time to talk to Josefine about something that had been plaguing him and maybe having Marianne to weigh in wouldn’t be a bad thing, either—so long as she understood.

“Well, actually Even and I have been back and forth on surrogacy versus gestational surrogacy,” Isak said when he found a good time to bring up the conversation. Everyone was almost done eating and Martin asked his usual question on the update on their situation. “There’s ups and downs on both sides but what I really can’t fathom is the emotion of the surrogate. I mean, obviously they go into this knowing that they are giving the baby up in the end but, I mean, _is_ there a difference in carrying a baby with your own DNA and one that you share no genetic connection with?” 

“You know,” Josefine started, who was the one he was directing the question at, “I honestly don’t think there is a difference. I mean, I really don’t know how women do it, I could never carry any baby and give it away, but you’re right, they know what they’re signing up for. I think the connection is carrying the baby and spending all that time with it.” 

“But giving away a baby with your genes is giving away a piece of you,” Marianne chimed in, much more coherent on the subject than Isak would’ve suspected, but it did seem like she was having a pretty good day, probably why Alexander thought she could handle a family dinner. “A legacy you’re passing on. So, I say there is a difference.” 

“It makes sense when you look at it that way, Marianne,” Alexander chimed in, weirdly enough, “but, like they said, these women do not sign up for this to pass on a piece of them or some legacy. They’re doing it to help people like your son start their own legacy.” 

“So what I’m getting out of this is as long as you’re sure the surrogate isn’t doing this solely to pass on her genes, then it doesn’t matter,” Ana said, thinking for a moment or two and then going on. “And, you know, it’s probably better if she’s younger. Like, the younger generations are way cooler with this. Oh my God, I could totally be a surrogate.”

“Excuse me?” Josefine said, raising her eyebrows, “You are much too young, you will not.” 

“Not for Even and Isak, jeez,” Ana said, scrunching her nose in disgust and sitting back in her chair. “And when I’m older. Chill out.” 

“Yeah, we’ll discuss this when you’re much older,” Josefine said, before dropping it and going back to Isak. “Regardless, the key is being sure the surrogate has no ulterior motives. I think then that it shouldn’t matter either way. But you’re protected either way, right?”

“We are,” Even said, nodding and putting a hand on Isak’s thigh and giving it a squeeze. “Isak is just a worrier. And he once watched this show where the surrogate came back and kidnapped her kid, so, you know, his imagination is a little extra on this one.” 

“It’s not just that, I’d also feel bad if the surrogate was feeling bad,” Isak said with a little shrug, trying not to think of that dreadful show and hoping that being on a different continent than the surrogate would save them from a nightmare like that in any case. “I just wanted a little bit of guidance from women who have had kids, or even have the potential, that’s all. So thank you. I’m still not sure and I’ll be thinking about it more but thanks.” 

“Otherwise, our tickets are booked and tomorrow we’ll be mailing out the check for our down payment and security deposit for the place we’ll be staying in,” Even said with a smile, changing the subject slightly off the matter. There was still probably more that Marianne wanted to say, there was still more that Isak felt he needed to hear, but he was glad for the subject change. He needed to take in the information he had already gotten. 

 

_Friday, June 7_

“Now hopefully it’s as good as it looks in the pictures,” Even said as they left the post office from mailing out their checks for their apartment. They had used the school’s help for the accommodations because they felt like there was less chance of getting ripped off, hopefully they were right and they didn’t just mail out all that money to live somewhere terrible for at least the next six months when they’d be up for lease renewal. 

“If it’s not, we’ll find a way to make it work, we always do,” Isak told him, giving him a little smile as they got into the car. He buckled up and watched Even get in, setting his phone in the cup holder between them before buckling up and starting the car. “If it’s trash, you’re artistic enough to make it work, and I’ve learned enough about cleaning from Noora to make it sparkle.” 

“Very reassuring, Baby,” Even chuckled as he started driving. Isak reached over and put a hand on his thigh, resting it there and gently rubbing it with his thumb. “I’m glad there’s _something_ you’re not worried about.” 

“Hey, there’s a lot I’m not worried about,” Isak scoffed, Even’s phone vibrating under where his arm was resting over the cupholder. So, he moved it and grabbed it, reading the caller ID for him like he always would. “It’s uh, Mikael? Have you talked to him since the other night?” 

“Nei,” Even said, grabbing his phone and ignoring the call before setting it back down, “He keeps calling but fuck him. He’s a shitty person.” 

“Maybe we’re all shitty people,” Isak sighed to himself and looked out the window, letting his hand fall back into Even’s lap as he drove. “You know, I didn’t tell you why Ebba wanted to leave that night. I was totally mean to her because she was prying about Mats. I got defensive and I was a total mean girl.” 

“What about Mats?” Even asked, his voice kind of tight and tense, making Isak turn his head to look at him again. He didn’t like the jealousy, the worry about Mats. Mostly because he understood it and he wished he didn’t. 

“She just said shit about how he’s experimenting now and not back when I liked him,” Isak said with a shrug and a reassuring squeeze to Even’s thigh. “As if it makes any difference. But it doesn’t, because in both cases, I’m with you and I would be with you and I will always be with you. Even if he was experimenting back then, you’re my soulmate and I’d never leave you.”

“Thanks for the reassurance,” Even said, his lips curling up just slightly at the corners as he glanced at Isak then back at the road. 

“You’re welcome,” Isak said, his heart skipping a beat and then racing for some reason, a lump forming in his throat as his mind went through why he might be feeling nervous, panicky. It was a few moments until he finally figured it out, taking a deep breath and just coming out with it, hoping it’d stop some panic attack. “But, Even, I want to tell you. Well, the other night when we went to the gay bar and Mats went off with that guy, I was jealous. I hate myself for it but I was and I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me, I don’t get it because I love you so much.” 

“Isak,” Even said, looking over at him again then a flash of panic crossing his face, too, eyes widening, mouth opening and nothing coming out. He looked back to the road then pulled over to the side and put the car in park, unbuckling and reaching over to take Isak’s head with both of his hands. He held it right where his neck met his head below his ears, his thumbs resting on Isak’s cheeks as he looked into his eyes, holding him firmly. “Isak, breath, it’s okay, it’s fine. You’re human, it’s an emotion and it sucks but it doesn’t mean shit. Do I love the idea? No, but I get it. Breathe, okay, and don’t cry. It’s okay.” 

Isak hadn’t even realized there were tears in his eyes until Even was moving to wipe his thumbs underneath them to catch the tears. He had apparently been closer to the panic attack than he thought. But, he just listened to Even, breathing with him and trying to relax. Even was his soulmate, everything was fine despite his feelings betraying him. He wrapped his arms around Even’s torso and pulled him in, hugging him while Even shh’d him calmly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah the jealousy is the worst isn't it? Lots going on and we're getting close to the move and so all the drama needs to be solved before they go but we'll see !!!   
> Anyway, comments and kudos always make me feel good, thank you and stay tuned!


	8. Anything For Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I love you all so much for your comments on the last chapter. I FEEL YOUR STRESS ON THIS WHOLE MATS AND ISAK SITUATION but this chapter..may help? We'll see.  
> Anyway, I meant to post this somewhere around 3 days ago but sorry ily and I hope you enjoy.  
> Also the sex scene here is different than usual, it's a lil kinky but grreaat okay enjoy.

_Sunday, June 9_  
*  
There were some things Even and Isak were going to pack and ship to their apartment in the States, and other things that were being boxed up and put in Isak’s old room at Even’s parents’ house. So, they helped each other make lists and started packing about a month before they’d be leaving. It had been a good distraction for Even thus far, but he was getting tired and so was Isak so the back and forth they had going came to an end and Even’s thoughts had started to run wild. 

Even finished packing the box he was working on silently, taping it then standing up. Isak was still on the floor, a half-filled box beside him and his phone in his hand, but he looked up as Even hovered. Smiling in response, Even and offered him his hand to help him up. He had to lead them around a few boxes to get to the couch, but when he did, they sat side-by-side, Isak twisting, looking up at Even with a tilted head and a curious gleam in his eye. 

“Ev,” He said gently, reaching up and cupping his cheek, “You look like you’re about to cry. What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry, I’m not going to cry,” Even said, rubbing his face and forcing a laugh. He silently told himself that he’d be strong, that he had to be if he was going to get Isak to even think about this. “I just...well, I had a thought that doesn’t make me _happy_ per say, but it probably will in the long run. I honestly think it makes sense and I think it’s something we need to do.” 

“Babe, you’re kind of scaring me,” Isak said, moving closer and swinging a leg up over Even’s knee. “Can you not be so cryptic and just tell me what it is?” 

“Yeah, I’m sorry, okay,” Even said, shaking his head a little and blinking back the tears. He wouldn’t cry. This would be fine. It was for Isak. It was for them. It was for their future family. He sniffled a little and then put on a little smile, rubbing Isak’s thigh a little. “I want to give you a sort of hall pass, or at least I think that’s what it’s called.” 

“If that’s what I think it is, the answer is no, I will not,” Isak said firmly, pulling back just a little but holding Even’s jaw to look him in the eye. “I was jealous but it’s done. It’s whatever. I’m not doing that.” 

“Isak, this is important,” Even said firmly, thinking about the panic attack Isak had had over all of this the other night. If it was _whatever_ and _done_ , he wouldn’t be that worried about it. And that scared the shit out of Even, but Isak was still there, choosing him, so he had to make some moves. “I’m not saying fuck him. All I’m giving you the pass for is a kiss. I know that when you and I kiss it’s indescribable. I know that I knew the first time that I kissed you that I wanted to be with you. So kiss him. I know you and I can barely ever _just_ kiss without it going somewhere, but I trust you. Figure out how it feels or get it out of your system or whatever it is you need.” 

“I only want to be with you,” Isak said, his eyes watering now, “I don’t want to do that. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I was jealous, I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I am not doing that to you. I love you so much, I pick you.”

“And I know you will,” Even said confidently, though it was more like he really, really hoped and _almost_ knew. But he needed to know for sure. Isak needed to do this. “But you need to know for sure. You’ll do it and it’ll calm you and we’ll be right back on track.” 

“I can’t say yes to this, Even,” Isak told him, moving closer and starting to kiss around Even’s jaw. “This. This is what I want.” 

“I know,” Even said, forcing a playful chuckle and slowly pushing him back. “Just think about it. Maybe you’ll get inspired next time you see him.” 

“If I did say yes,” Isak said, scrunching his nose to show disgust in the idea, but Even saw hope that he just had questions. It made his heart ache a little, getting ready to hear Isak would agree to it. “Would you be there when I kissed him? Or would I go somewhere and tell you later? Or would you not want to know? I wouldn’t want to hurt you, not ever.” 

“I don’t want to be around but, yeah, tell me,” Even bit his lip, not really thinking he’d want to hear about it unless it was awful, but he hoped it would be. Mats and Isak were no match. Even if Even and Isak weren’t soulmates—though they were. “So, are you going to think about it, then?” 

“Yeah, I’ll think about it,” Isak sighed and leaned back in again, this time nuzzling his nose against Even’s. “But I love you and I hate my brain and all of this bullshit.” 

“I love you _and_ your brain, and we’re going to get through this,” Even told him, rubbing his thigh some more and reaching up to run his other hand through Isak’s locks. Isak held Even’s jaw still and wrapped his other hand around Even’s waist and they sat there silently, holding each other.  
*

_Monday, June 10_

Isak was having a hard time even looking at Mats since Even’s proposal. Mats didn’t know about it and Isak sure as hell didn’t agree to it, but it created a block on tension in the pit of Isak’s stomach. He didn’t _want_ to kiss Mats,or he didn’t think he did, but given the background, it wasn’t a terrible idea. He was pretty sure it was an easy answer at first, but then Even pushed it, and then Isak thought about it more. He didn’t know if it was selfish of him to think for even a moment that Even needed Isak to do this for his own sense of closure and that was why it needed to be done. 

“Isak, I thought we were good,” Mats said as Isak was rushing to leave for the day, Even would be picking him up at any moment. He was close behind him, right on his heel as he walked, “You haven’t so much as looked at me today. Did I do something when I was drunk? Because I swear you were more drunk the other night.” 

“You didn’t do anything,” Isak said, pulling out his phone as they walked to where Even generally picked him up in front of the hospital. “I’ve just been distracted today. Only a month until we leave and there’s just...so much to do. An-and I’m trying to work on my research project and we’ve got less than a year and then we’ve got to start studying so that we can _actually_ practice and I have a lot going on in that year and it’s just….it’s stress, man.” 

Isak didn’t realize how real the last part was until he said it. It was a lot of stress when he thought about it, and at the beginning of this, he was more than ready to take all of it on. He was feeling less confident recently. In everything. Besides Even. Which brought him back to everything else. Why the fuck was he jealous of Mats and that dude. 

“I hear ya, Isak,” Mats said patting his shoulder and then letting his hand fall back to his side. “I’m stressed too and I’ve got way less going on. Sorry. I didn’t mean to call you out. I guess I’m a little gun shy over the last time you were mad at me.” 

“You mean last week?” Isak joked, smiling just a little up at him for a moment before looking away to see if Even was in sight yet. “I get it, don’t be sorry. Things are fine between you and me.” 

“Good, that’s good too hear,” Mats said, still lingering with Isak where Even would pick him up. “Seemed like you and Even had a good time the other night, though. Literally every guy I talked to mentioned you guys on the dance floor. Pretty sure you guys are Gods in that place.” 

“We actually haven’t been there before,” Isak said, biting his lip, not really wanting to pry too much into that night. “If we go back a few more times, they’ll get used to us. I, uh...How was your night? Not too scarring, I hope.”

“Not scarring,” Mats laughed, Even’s car coming into view down the street and making Isak’s heart beat faster, as if getting caught with Mats was going to get Even more upset. “Like I said, it wasn’t a bad night. Things weren’t bad. Definitely glad I decided to go. I mean, I hang out with all you gays all this time and never go to a gay bar? Never question myself? Man, talk about being sheltered.”

“I didn’t want to be the one to say it, but I definitely thought that,” Isak said, looking at Mats one more time and then back at Even’s car, which was pulling up. “Alright, well, this is my ride. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Later,” Mats said as Isak got in the car, barely hearing him because he had almost immediately tuned him out when the door opened. Not that he had been able to give Even the usual smile and kiss either. He was a little too distracted, so he got in and buckled up. 

“Everything okay?” Even asked, clearing his throat and reaching over, his hand running through Isak’s hair and resting on the back of his neck with the most gentle grip. “Did you…”

“Nei, Even,” Isak almost snapped, Even’s touch just barely keeping him grounded from all of his frustration. “I haven’t even agreed to that, so no.” 

“Okay, well, I was thinking that maybe you should take him on a date or something,” Even said, taking his hand away as he started driving, apparently not as intuitive as he usually was because he was not reading that Isak seriously did not want to talk about this. He was frustrated and confused and he didn’t want to fucking talk about what was making him confused. He’d rather focus on what made him sure, and that person was focusing on this. “Introduce him to the idea so he knows what’s going on, though. I don’t want him to think he can have you. Unless—” 

“If you finish that sentence,” Isak began, taking a deep breath and looking over at him. He was looking at the road, his face straight, and from what he could see of his eyes, he could tell he wasn’t as confident as his words sounded. He was putting up a front. It made more sense but it didn’t make him less frustrated, “I’m going to ask you to pull over and I will stay at Jonas’ for the night. I don’t want to talk about this with you right now. I’m not in the mood.” 

“Alright.” 

“I mean, seriously Even,” Isak did snap this time, his words just coming out before he could think them through in any way. “I get why you’re doing this but I don’t get what you get out of it. I don’t get how making a it just a kiss isn’t throwing me away when you still think that there’s a possibility that I’ll be leaving him for you after it. I would think you would rather just not give me up. I thought we loved each other and that we fight for each other but instead you’d just give me away? What’s your motive?” 

“I would only let you go if it made you happy,” Even said almost immediately, having obviously thought this through further than Isak could fathom. Isak couldn’t even get over the proposition. “I don’t think he will, though. I know you love me enough to stay, Isak. But you don’t know that and why would you? You’ve only been with me and I guess Jonas. And maybe kissing Mats isn’t going to make you sure, but I really want you to be sure before we leave. I need you to be sure before we leave.” 

“Then I’ll find another way to be sure,” Isak still just blurting out his words. Especially since he wasn’t sure how he didn’t _know_ he’d stay, he didn’t even want to kiss Mats. Let alone leave Even for him. But it made sense and so the confusion swirled even more, but he had to find another way. “I’m going to FaceTime Eskild alone when we get home.” 

“Okay Baby,” Even said, reaching over again and squeezing Isak’s thigh this time. “I’ve got to work on my Vlog anyway, I’ll be talking about the charity and posting the page. I guess we’ll see if anyone actually does want to donate to our cause.” 

“Oh, did you need me for that?” Isak asked, biting his lip and feeling a little guilty. He probably should have been nicer to Even, after all, all of this was Isak’s fault. Him and his stupid brain. 

“That’s okay, you talk to Eskild,” Even gave him a little smile this time, giving his thigh another squeeze before putting both hands back on the wheel. 

~

Isak knew what Eskild would say, and Even probably did too, which kind of made him want to call someone else altogether. But, he wouldn’t. As much as he hated to admit that Eskild could be helpful and wise, it was true. He could literally be anywhere from causing the problem to pretending he was some sort of God to fix the problem. So, he was going to call him and hope that this time around, he would be insightful and everything Isak needed. 

“Baby gay! I wasn’t expecting a call from you,” Eskild popped onto the screen, shirtless and sitting up in his bed. Isak was probably interrupting something, but Eskild didn’t give anything about it away, he just focused on Isak. “That must mean there’s something wrong. Is it Jonas again? I swear to God that kid needs to start being safer.” 

“Everything is fine with Jonas,” Isak said, sitting in his own bed and pulling his knees to his chest. “There’s not someone there with you...is there?” 

“There is, but we’re actually taking a break,” Eskild shrugged and wiggled his eyebrows, “he went to go get some food. I told him to just order in but apparently his favorite place doesn’t deliver… Oh my god, wait a minute. He’s probably not coming back. Of course that’s why. Damn it, I was already planning the next round.” 

“Maybe he’ll be back,” Isak offered half-heartedly to the conversation. It wasn’t exactly news that Eskild was seeing someone new constantly, but Isak already felt bad enough so he’d let Eskild talk about it. 

“Probably not,” Eskild sighed and looked off into the distance for a second then back at Isak. “So, why did you call, then?” 

“I need your help with something,” Isak told him, not really sure if easing into this would be better than ripping the bandage off. Either way, Eskild was going to be shocked, but ultimately into Even’s idea. “And I already think I know what you’ll say but I need you to not and really think about this for me. I need you to go into it knowing that this is really frustrating and confusing and I should understand it because it’s what I do and I don’t understand and that’s even more frustrating. I’m probably not even good at what I just spent all of these years working on.” 

“Isak, Isak, chill,” Eskild said on the other line, reaching over and turning on a light before looking at Isak seriously. “You’re great at what you do but you can’t be your own patient and you know that, I mean come on, that is a conflict of interest right there. So, if there are things you need help with talking out, I’m here. Your Guru. I don’t have your background studies but I’d say that men just _love_ to open up to me. And not just their legs but also their legs. Damn it, you should have seen this guy’s legs.” 

“Eskild…” Isak said, looking at him and wanting to plead with him to stay focused, but it was really rare not to see Eskild bounce back immediately from a guy just up and leaving him like that. Maybe it was serious. “You’ve totally got feelings for that guy. Do you want to talk about that first?” 

“Nei, he’s gone,” Eskild shrugged, “I’ll tell him off with a wordy text later or something. But now I’m here for you, Isak. Seriously, before you worry yourself to death over there.” 

“Well, Even and I took a couple of our friends out to the gay bar the other night, I’m sure you saw the snap stories,” Isak looked at him and he nodded. “Mats hooked up with some guy that night, he was experimenting. And he still might be, I don’t know. It’s been weird, I was jealous of the guy because I don’t know, maybe I wanted to be the experiment? But I love Even so much and I don’t want to be with anyone else. Not sexually or at all, or at least I didn’t think so but maybe this means I do with Mats but it just doesn’t make sense.” 

“Do you still feel jealous? Like maybe if he’s still experimenting, you’re on board?” Eskild asked, tilting his head to the side. 

“Nei,” Isak said with a sigh but then shrugged. “I don’t know how I feel but Even thinks that I should kiss him. _Just_ kiss him so don’t even get going on that. But I don’t think I can. He says maybe I’m not sure that I’ll come back to him if I do that, but that he’s sure and that I should just do it. He said he needs me to be sure, so I need to find another way to be sure. Then if he’s right, all of this will go away?” 

“So you need me to help you find a solution that _doesn’t_ involve sex?” Eskild asked, raising an eyebrow then shaking his head. “Kiss him, Isak. If not to clear your mind, then to clear Even’s. He may say he knows you’ll come back but you know as well as I do that he’s terrified of losing you. So kiss Mats and tell Even how awful it was and how much better it is kissing him and then Even will be happy and reassured. I think it’ll probably reassure you, too because I think Even is right. I really don’t think there’s another way, however. You talk and hang out all the time, there’s a connection, so you’ll know when you kiss if it’s more of a gross-you’re-my-brother connection, or an oh-my-god-jump-inside-me connection. You’re just confirming what you already know. Reassurance. Plus you get to kiss a hottie who isn’t your husband in the meantime.”

“And this is you being objective?” 

“Knowing how confused and upset you are, yes,” Eskild said, looking at him seriously again, his eyebrows resting low as he talked, “I know how much Even means to you, so I get how what you’re feeling is confusing. But I would never tell you to do anything that might make you lose him.” 

“Alright, good,” Isak said, biting his lip. He wasn’t sure if he was feeling better but that was two to one, maybe he needed to go with it. One kiss was nothing, anyway. 

“Maybe Even’ll become a cuck though and then you can kiss and bang whoever _and_ keep him,” Eskild wiggled his eyebrows and laughed a little. It was the type of joke Isak was expecting from Eskild out of the situation, which meant he already had his comeback prepared. 

“You know Even doesn’t share when it comes to my ass.” 

 

 _Wednesday, June 12_  
*  
After his chat with Eskild, Isak was apparently on board with Even’s idea. Even wasn’t shocked with how anti-marriage Eskild was, but it was still a little off-putting to know that everything was in motion. Or could be in motion. Or something like that. What he was trying to do was take everything he and Isak had up until this point and put the trust in all that history. Isak wouldn’t be impressed with Mats. Not with everything they had together. That didn’t make him lack the nerves though.

**~mannen i mitt liv~**

_I’m having lunch with him, he’s impossible to avoid._  
 _I’m not ready for this 12:37_

Even read the text a couple times, in break room at his office, sitting in the corner and knowing it was only a matter of time before another coworker would walk in and he’d be forced to be sociable. Maybe he could finish his sandwich beforehand and then head outside to call Isak so he could talk to him instead of worrying about what was going on with Mats.

**~mannen i mitt liv~**

_Just remember that I love you no matter what_  
_ 12:39 _

“Even, my maaaaan,” Linus, Even’s most annoying coworker walked into the break room, throwing the door open unnecessarily hard and striding over to Even’s table. He pulled out a chair and plopped down, setting his bag on the table and starting to pull out food. “Man, we haven’t had a lunch together in like a month. Last time you and the princess were planning on having a baby or something, did you end up adopting?”

“Nei, surrogacy. We’re leaving to go to the States, remember?” Even asked, raising an eyebrow, knowing that everyone in the office was officially aware of Even’s plans, and they even told him he could work there when he got back. He just didn’t tell him he was hoping he didn’t need to. That he’d have other opportunities. “It’s cheaper there and Isak’s going to finish his school things out there.” 

“Oh yeah, I vaguely remember that,” Linus nodded and bit into an apple, sitting back and looking at him. “Then he must not be the reason you were staring at your phone all nervous. I was thinking trouble in paradise. Although I always assumed that gays were so picky that their relationships must be a lot better than normal.” 

“You know Linus, everything you say is just _slightly_ offensive,” Even said, making sure to give him a look before looking down at his phone. He was waiting on Isak’s reply, wondering why he hadn’t read it yet. Were he and Mats talking about it? Was it happening? What was going on? Isak was usually so prompt with answering him. “And Isak actually kind of hates you for it. I tend to ignore it but I’m tired, maybe just learn that _gays_ , or more preferably called members of the LGBT community, are just like you and every straight person out there. We can have all the same flaws and we can have all the same perfections too. It’s 2024 for god’s sake.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Linus said with a nod, awkwardly looking down at his food and clearing his throat. “Sorry.” 

“Isak and I are better than basically all couples, though,” Even said, feeling a little bad for the sudden snap after all the times he’d let it slide. He probably could have eased him into being better. He looked at Linus then back at his phone, still waiting on Isak. “We’ve just got a lot going on right now.”

“What do you have going on?” Linus asked, looking at Even then shrugging when he saw the look Even was giving. One that said not to pry, especially after all the homophobia. “What? If gays are like everyone else, I’m usually pretty good at helping my buddies fix their relationship issues. I’m deep. Or I can get deep.” 

“Honestly, it’s a long story and I don’t need advice on it, anyway,” Even sighed and then sat back in his seat, setting his sandwich down and grabbing a napkin from the center of the table to wipe off his hands before picking up his phone. Maybe he should write Isak something else. “I just need it to be over...It’s just this thing we’re doing before we leave to start a family. It’ll be over eventually then we’ll be on the next step of our life and yay.” 

“You sound stressed as fuck,” Linus said with a laugh, “Now I know that gays don’t do it differently because girls always have me stressed like that. And when I’m stressed by a girl, I try to make sure she’s happy. If she’s happy there’s going to be less of a blow up. Boom.” 

“That’s exactly what I’m doing,” Even said, keeping himself from rolling his eyes as he set down his phone again, not having typed anything and not having gotten any replies from his last message. “I always make sure Isak is happy. It’s the one thing I want. Just right now, he’s confused on what makes him happy.” 

“Oh shit, is he into a chick?” 

“Nei, it’s not that,” Even really rolled his eyes this time, giving Linus a look and picking his phone up again. He would write something else to Isak. Maybe something that might make him smile. He’d only really be able to think, though, if Linus shut up. “I don’t want to get into it with you, though, if you don’t mind.” 

“Okay,” Linus shrugged and Even just tapped the screen of his phone, thinking of what to say to Isak to get him to to reply. He tapped it a few times and then Isak suddenly replied, making Even’s heart skip a beat happily.

**~mannen i mitt liv~**

_just so you know, I’m definitely not doing it right now. Or even talking to him about it_  
 _and I love you so much 12:53_

“Sorry, maybe another time, it’s just personal right now,” Even said, getting up and grabbing the rest of his stuff. He’d throw it out and call Isak. Talk to him for the last six or so minutes he had of lunch. He almost wished that Isak would just get it over with, but he felt relief in knowing it wasn’t happening. And all he wanted to do was talk to him.  
*

_Friday, June 14_

Isak thought after his talk with Eskild that he could just do the hall pass thing and get it over with. Except every time that it seemed like he could just do it, he really just couldn’t get himself to. All he could think about was Even and so that had to mean something. That had to be the sureness he was looking for. So, all he had to do was forget the jealousy and move on. He even contemplated lying to Even and saying that he did it. 

But he decided that lying to Even never really panned out for him, so Even was still pushing it when they were at the bar that Friday night. He was even desperate, juvenile and drunk enough to propose spin the bottle with his fifth empty beer bottle. Thankfully, though, everyone else was so not on board with it. 

“Alright, Even’s not normally the sloppy one, what have you done to him?” Mutta asked from across the booth after the spin the bottle proposal. Isak picked up the bottle and wrapped his arm around Even’s shoulder, Even leaning all of his body weight onto him almost immediately. 

“Even’s been a little on edge, he’s got a lot going on,” Isak said with a sigh, running his fingers through Even’s hair. “He’s just trying to unwind. Maybe we should dance. Let’s dance. Everyone. Wanna dance, Baby?”

“Yeah, let’s dance,” Even said, going from a sleepy-droopy drunk to up and ready to move. He popped up from the booth and everyone followed in pursuit. Their group of Mats, Jonas, Sonja, Chris, Magnus, Mutta, Even and Isak made their way to the dance floor with Even leading the high energy, grabbing Isak by the hips from behind and pulling him close while he bounced to the beat. Isak leaned in to him, reaching up to put his hand on the back of his head and getting ready to dance with him, but when he turned his head and looked at Even, he looked back seriously, almost as if the drunk disappeared in that moment. Isak swore they were pleading for him to go, to disappear with Mats and take a moment and _get it over with_. And this was the perfect distraction for the rest of their friends. 

“I love you,” Isak said quietly, only to Even and then pulled back to speak to the group, “We’re going to need a little hydration, so I’m going to get us some waters. Mats, can you help?” 

“Sure man,” Mats said and then the two of them disappeared off into the crowd. Isak’s heart was racing, he wasn’t sure if this was the best idea, and he felt like he was about to be using Mats on top of making Even upset, but Mutta was onto something. Even wasn’t being himself. Even was plagued and that could easily off set his equilibrium, especially with the excessive, sloppy drinking. This would make Even upset the more it dragged on. And if it set off an episode, it hurt Even even more. But Isak wouldn’t go into it with that being the only justification. This was for him, too, and he’d feel about that the way he did after it was over. 

So, once they lost sight of their friends and disappeared into the crowd, Isak grabbed Mats arm and took a turn away from the bar, towards the back where they could be somewhat alone. He’d have to explain it to Mats before he did it to be fair, but he hoped that Mats would be okay with it, because if he wasn’t then there _had_ to be another way. Which would mean he would have to think about all of this much more than he wanted to.

“You don’t have to explain, Even already did,” Mats said as he and Isak settled down near a windowsill in the corner where it was quiet. Isak heart was still beating fast and he had been scrambling to figure out how to come out with it before he did it. “He told me that you wouldn’t do it, so I should. I’m glad to see you have a little bit of balls, though.” 

The more Mats talked, the less Isak wanted to do it, so instead of engaging in the conversation, he just grabbed him by the waist. Their bodies collided first then Isak had to lean down—which he never had to do with Even—and then their lips were touching and Isak couldn’t believe it. He’d kissed other people before. Girls before Even, Jonas, and Sonja that one time. They’d each had their own perks, the girls before Even acting as a shield for him, Jonas being his saving grace to come out, and Sonja to just prove that girls didn’t make him break out in hives. But only kissing Even melded his mind the way it did, only kissing Even consumed him so completely. 

With the close connection he’d had with Mats, the way they got along and how they instantly clicked, Isak expected something similar. Mats was the first person he clicked with like that since Even, though Jonas had come close, and in the back of his head, he’d really thought he’d feel something. But, as their lips collided, mouths opening and working together, Isak didn’t feel it. It wasn’t terrible, Isak liked kisses and Mats was obviously skilled in the subject matter, but he was thinking there’d be fireworks. Especially after all the build-up. So, he pressed harder, pushing his tongue inside Mats’ mouth, gripping his hips tighter and holding him right against his body. 

And with all the contact, all the places Isak thought he’d never be with Mats, there was nothing. Nothing like he had with Even. Almost as if all that time Mats had been placed up on a pedestal in his head, and he’d never live up to it. He’d thought maybe he could be as good as Even for him at one point. But Even was perfect. Even made him feel amazing all the time. When Even kissed him, he took care of him, mentally, physically, any way that he possibly could. And Mats was doing some things, but they definitely weren’t that. 

“Oh fuck,” The voice broke them apart, Isak instinctively wiping his mouth as the boys turned to meet the intruder. It was Jonas, obviously walking in on something he’d never thought he’d see. “I thought it was weird that you asked _Mats_ and not me. What is this? What about Even? What about your guys’ entire plan? Oh fuck, Isak, this isn’t right.” 

“You’re right Jonas, it’s not right,” Isak said, feeling guilty and caught even though this was exactly what he was supposed to do. Even though he came to the exact goal that he was supposed to. He really should have never had to do it in the first place. “This isn’t what it looks like and Even knows all about it.”

“Am I supposed to believe that?” Jonas asked, raising his eyebrows and tilting his head at them. “Even doesn’t share. He doesn’t even like me smacking your ass. Yeah right is he going to let you kiss your ex-crush. So, why don’t you tell me what’s really going on here?” 

“Seriously Jonas, it’s true,” Isak said, turning and looking at Mats and giving him a half smile. He felt a little bad that he was a pawn in all of this and that he made him the pawn in all of it. “Sorry and thank you for letting me test this out. You’re a great kisser but you’re not Even. Really, I’m sorry. But, I gotta go. I think I’m going to grab Even and go home.” 

“Isak, you can’t just run because you got caught,” Jonas said, still not letting it go. He probably wouldn’t until he heard the words out of Even’s mouth, but that wasn’t Isak’s problem at the moment. He just wanted to talk to and be alone with Even now that he finally did it. Now that he could say that kissing Mats was nothing like kissing Even. Even was the only person he needed and he’d been an idiot for too long. It was time to just start moving for forward. Maybe they could even bump up their flight and do it sooner. 

 

_Saturday, June 15_

Isak was holding Even. Being the one of the two of them to not be hungover was a pretty rare occasion for Isak but this time around, he planned to make it work. When they’d gone to bed the night before, he set an alarm to vibrate in the morning, hoping it’d wake him up and not Even. When it did, he slipped out and bought breakfast because he wanted Even to actually enjoy it and if he made it, he definitely wouldn’t and it’s be no help for the hangover. When he got back, they ate in bed and now they were just relaxing. Even’s head was on Isak’s chest and Isak had one arm wrapped around him, the other holding his coffee. 

“I’m sorry, Isak,” Even huffed quietly after a few minutes of silence. Breakfast talk had been a lot about Even’s throbbing head and how Isak was going to take care of him, but Isak knew it was going to get to this point. They’d talked a little the night before but Even was so drunk, so Isak helped him get off and then let him go to sleep for the night. “I want to say that I didn’t mean to make you do something you didn’t want to do. But, I did, I wanted you to do it because I was tired of all this Mats stuff. It felt like every time we let it go, it came back up and we’re going to be starting a _family_. I don’t want it to come up anymore. If it’s going to come up more, where you’re not sure, I don’t think we should start a family and I hate that.” 

“It’s not going to come up anymore,” Isak said, feeling seriously sure on that this time. He’d thought for a while that he’d worked out things with Mats, and while this last way wasn’t anything he’d be recommending to any patients, he was sure that he was over it. So far over it. “Not on my end. Don’t be sorry, though. I get it. I wanted to feel better and I want you to feel better. I want you to feel confident in me, in us, in our future family. But I felt like doing this...no matter what, I was hurting you. I mean, how do you feel?” 

“How do _you_ feel Isak?”

“I feel…” Isak sighed and looked up at the ceiling, circling his arm tighter around Even and setting down his coffee on the nightstand beside him. He figured everything else about this had been absurd and nothing he thought was good in his professional opinion, but he might as well try to get back to that. “Like I don’t deserve you. That you’re never-wavering and I’ve been taking you for granted ever since I met Mats. I don’t think I’m ever going to forgive myself for what I’ve done to us, Even.” 

“You need to forgive yourself,” Even said, and Isak knew it, but he needed to talk it out. Even could be a good therapist to him. “We need to move forward and that’s gotta start with you forgiving yourself. I’ve already forgiven you.” 

“Fine, but I still don’t deserve you and all of your Godly perfection,” Isak said, only joking a little. Even was perfect and somehow still his and he wasn’t going to question why he still wanted Isak. But he did and Isak didn’t deserve it. “You’re always treating me but today I’m going to treat you. I know babying you doesn’t even scrape the surface but you deserve to be taken care of.” 

“I’m not going to tell you to not baby me,” Even said with a little smile, lifting his head and looking at Isak with lidded eyes. “But, don’t try to make things up to me. Let’s just move forward. I love you so much and I know we tend to stumble through life but we make it through together. We’ll always make it out together. No matter the fall, no matter the height.” 

“I love you so much,” Isak said back, taking Even’s jaw and pulling him in for a kiss. They kissed for a few moments, lips gently parting together, tasting of coffee and making his whole world spin the way it should. When he pulled back, he looked at Even through his own lidded eyes and smiled, “I’m so ready to let this go and move on. Start our life as a family. I wouldn’t mind leaving tomorrow.” 

“We’ve got too much going on to do that,” Even said with a little laugh, reaching up and rubbing his thumb over Isak’s cheek, “But I love the enthusiasm.” 

 

 _Monday, June 17_ ’

“If you’re trying to avoid me, you’re doing a terrible job,” Isak told Mats as he sat down with him at lunch. Mats’ eyes had darted when Isak walked into the room, and Isak was sure that Mats would be running out soon too. Isak wasn’t exactly sure how he felt being around Mats himself, but they only had a few more weeks and Isak would be out of there. Maybe they could make it work between now and then. “Two more weeks and you won’t have to try anymore. Can we handle it until then?” 

“Before I was dreading not having you around,” Mats said quietly, a forced smile on his face as he lifted his head up to meet Isak’s gaze. “Now I’m thinking I could probably use the distance. Things with you around has never been dull, but I gotta say that these last few weeks have been a whirlwind and my head is spinning.”

“I can’t apologize to you enough, I can’t apologize to Even enough,” Isak said, still feeling down about it even though he was trying to move forward like he should, like Even asked him to. And he would, but in the meantime he deserved Mats telling him how awful he was, he deserved to have to wait on Even hand and foot. “I wish I could go back and stop from liking you or at least stop from telling you. I didn’t want to mess with you, make you question yourself the way you have been. But I did and I’m sorry.” 

“I’m somewhat glad you did, glad I know, glad I’ve given myself room to think about it,” Mats said, smiling more genuinely now. After their lip lock, it would probably never be normal, despite the lack of feeling in the kiss. There was something about it that threw them out of alignment. An automatic shift that made Isak flea the club, a shift that haunted him when he went to work that morning. Obviously Mats felt it too, hence the avoidance. “I still think all of it makes sense. I think… I think that it wasn’t about whether or not I liked dudes, but whether or not I liked _you_.” 

“And now we’ve done all the research and we can put it behind us,” Isak said, thinking of how unemotional the kiss was. How much both of them had put into it and how little he had felt. “I mean, we can still keep in contact while I’m away and when I get back, who knows, maybe we’ll end up working together.” 

“Isak,” Mats huffed and sat back in his chair, running a hand through his hair and taking a moment before catching Isak’s eyes. Isak’s stomach dropped as they met, seeing what was going to be said next in them. Maybe Mats had a different perception of the kiss.. “I don’t know what you felt with that kiss, but what I felt was...well, _indescribable._ I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think I like you, Isak.” 

“Oh, Mats, I…” 

“I know, you have Even,” Mats gave him a smile and then sat up straight. He looked confident, but sounded crushed. “You guys are awesome and you’ve got this plan and I’m not asking you to stop that. I don’t want to be a homewrecker. I wouldn’t want to do that to Even. Unless...I mean, unless it was what you wanted, too.” 

“I-I’m sorry,” Isak began to stutter, he’d turned down plenty of guys with the _I’m happily married_ line, but with Mats, it was more personal. It stung. Especially since they didn’t need to be there to begin with. It was his fault Mats felt this way. That he hurt. “It’s Even. It’s always been Even, and it’s always going to be Even.” 

“I know that,” Mats nodded and sat back again, leaning his head back and looking at the ceiling. Way back in the day, Isak would check out his jawline, his neck, his collar bones when he did things like that. But now, he just felt bad, like he shouldn’t even be looking at him. So he didn’t, instead just looked down at his own hands. “When I first came to this conclusion, I thought maybe if you told me back then..well maybe, but then I thought that there is no way that I was ever competing with Even. Not for real. Maybe another life, though.” 

“Maybe,” Isak said with a little nod, not wanting to tell him that he and Even had already discussed being together in every universe, every life, and Isak firmly believed that. He was already crushing him enough, he wasn’t going to tell him that. There was no need. He didn’t know what to say though, and he was probably going to say something stupid. “What is it about me, though? Maybe I can use it to help you find someone?”

“I’m going to pass and say too soon, buddy,” Mats laughed a little sarcastically and looked back at him. “When’s your last day?” 

“Next Friday, the twenty-eighth, you only have to see my stupid face until then,” Isak said with a little smile at him. “Unless you come to my going away party. We’d love to have you.” 

“We’ll see, Isak.” 

 

_Tuesday, June 18_

Isak’s alarm clock read 02:03 when he felt Even moving beside him. Neither of them were ever sound enough sleepers to stay in one position for an entire night unless alcohol was involved. Generally though, they didn’t move around enough to consciously wake the other. The other would just follow in pursuit of the cuddles and they’d be back out in moments. However, there was something about the way Even was tossing, it had Isak awake almost immediately. 

His first instinctual thought was panic, there had been a lot going on lately, Even had been going a little overboard with the substances, he could have been manic. Even wouldn’t like that that was his first thought and definitely wouldn’t appreciate it if Isak rolled over and asked him if he was having an episode. Instead, he was going to have to move slow, pretend to be moving to cuddle back up to him and catch his eye. Easy. He just had to be slow.

“You breathe different when you’re awake, Babe,” Even said quietly beside him, ruining the plan Isak had been making in his head. He must’ve been up for awhile if he was noticing Isak’s breathing patterns. Isak turned over slowly and Even moved close again, a hand finding its way to warmly land on Isak’s back. “I’m sorry I woke you, go back to sleep” 

“It’s fine,” Isak said, moving to rest his head on Even’s chest as Even encircled his arms around him completely. “Why are you awake, Baby?” 

“Remember before our wedding,” Even began quietly after a few quiet and thoughtful moments, looking up at the ceiling and thinking as he talked, “Like, a week before...we had this conversation, and you probably don’t remember it because it was so short and probably seemed like nothing. But we were doing dishes and you made a remark, about how in a week you’d be helping your husband with the dishes instead of your boyfriend or fiancé, and then I made you promise that you’ll always want to do this dishes with me. Of course, I was implying that you’ll always be there with me, not just doing dishes. But you told me that you never _want_ to do the dishes. You’d just rather be with me, doing something you hate then to be without me. Then we continued doing dishes.” 

“I remember, actually,” Isak said, lifting his head to look at Even, “And obviously I was implying that I’ll always be here to do anything with you. Or for you. To be with you forever. And it’s still true.” 

“Before you said that, I was worried,” Even said, looking down at him before the two of them moved to sit up to finish their conversation. “As I’ve always been about being the only relationship you’ve had. But something about the way you said it, the way you looked, your eyes, it just was the single most relaxing thing you could have said. Because our marriage ending in divorce? Losing you? I can’t fathom it.” 

“Okay, I know what this is,” Isak said, getting up immediately—somehow wide awake now—and pulled the blankets up off Even. It was obvious that Even was having a hard time with reassurance, so it was time for a little spontaneity, a little something to spice things up. He’d get Even what he needed. “Come on, Baby, let’s get dressed. We’re going somewhere.”

“It’s two in the morning, we have work in like five hours, and you’re already on thin ice,” Even said, pulling the blankets back up to his waist and looking at Isak where he stood. “We should probably get back to sleep, not go for McDonalds.” 

“Not McDonalds,” Isak said, rolling his eyes and pulling the blankets back off of him. “I’ll go to work in the morning, I promise, but right now, we’re going out. I promise to only make it an hour, tops. That way we can still grab a couple extra hours of sleep if we have to. Come on, please. I know your brain is going haywire and I know a lot’s going on and I want to ease your mind. Please. Let me do something for you.” 

“Fine, but I’m going to make you go to work in the morning no matter what,” Even said, giving him a look and then getting up. Isak tossed him his boxers and then the two of them put on some clothes, sticking with sweats to stay comfortable in the cool night air. Once they seemed ready, Even looked at Isak and raised his eyebrows, “Ready Boss?” 

“Oh shush, I’m not being bossy,” Isak couldn’t help but smile and roll his eyes again—he rolled his eyes at him so much that Even once made him give him a kiss every time he rolled his eyes just to prove how often it was—reaching out and taking Even’s hand. “I just have an idea and maybe it’ll clear your mind and maybe we can finish off our last couple of weeks here clean and happy. So, yes, I’m ready and I’m driving.” 

“You do realize it’s dark out?” Even asked as Isak escorted him down the hallway. 

“Yes, it’s not that far,” Isak said with a shrug to tell him it was no big deal, he could handle the drive. He definitely didn’t drive often, and would often opt out if he could. If Even or Jonas or literally anyone else would drive, he’d gladly step back. This had to be at least a slight surprise, so he wouldn’t have Even driving. “I can handle it, Baby.”

~  
*  
Even knew where they were going once they started getting close, but he didn’t know what Isak was planning so he kept his mouth shut. He had been up for almost an hour when Isak woke up so he was wide awake and maybe just a little excited to see what Isak’s idea was. Sometimes Isak fell short on surprises and actual romance, but the times that he didn’t fall short, he hit home. He knew Even and he knew what was going to make him feel better. 

Even had to believe that. He and Isak had been having some difficult times and for some reason to Even, it seemed like it all happened after they decided to start a family. Maybe it was an omen, maybe something was trying to tell them they weren’t ready. Or maybe the universe was trying to tell Even that Isak wasn’t ready. So, if Isak really knew what he was doing this time around, he was about to put Even’s mind at ease. And he already felt at ease that he was putting in the effort. Especially then, at two in the morning. 

“Okay, so I know you know where we’re going but, this isn’t all about location,” Isak said as they pulled over to the side of the road. Even would have parked just a little bit more ways up, near where the trail was. The one that Even had led Isak down the night he proposed, but he wouldn’t judge Isak’s moves. “Though I’m pretty sure you know what this place means to me.” 

“And to me,” Even told him quietly, giving him a smile before the two of them got out of the car and met around the hood. Isak reached out, taking Even’s hand and intertwining their fingers. “But if it’s not about the place, what are we doing here? I know you don’t have a proposal planned out, unless you can tell the future and knew I was going to be awake tonight…” 

“Sorry, I can’t see the future,” Isak said, swinging their hands as they began walking. It was dark, not specially lit for the occasion like when he proposed, so Even pulled out his phone with his other hand and turned on the flashlight while they walked. “Or the path in front of me. Thanks. I guess I could’ve thought this a little more through before dragging you out of bed.” 

“Nei, it’s okay,” Even told him, giving him a smile he wasn’t sure he could see, “I like the spontaneity, and I do like how your brain went here. I’m just curious as to why. It’s not like a reverse proposal where you bring me here to ask to divorce me or something, is it?” 

“You know it,” Isak joked back with him, pulling on Even’s hand then letting go so that their hips collided, and they wrapped their arms around each other. Even’s arm over Isak’s shoulders, Isak’s around Even’s waist. “I’m just a romantic for anti romance... You know, you were doing so well at not asking questions in the car, are you really going to start now or can we make it to the clearing?”

“Fine, I’ll be quiet,” Even said, laughing a little and squeezing Isak’s shoulder. They walked quietly the rest of the way to the clearing, which was really only a minute or two of a walk. Once they were there, they sat in the slightly-wet grass and wrapped their arms around each other, continuing in silence for a few moments as they looked at the stars and took in the beauty of the late summer night. 

“It really is the perfect place,” Isak said with a little laugh in his voice, turning his head and looking at Even now. “It’s enough to make even _you_ stop asking questions for a second. And I love knowing that you came here, saw the stars, and knew we were meant to be.” 

“I was in my drowning in my own head and yet nothing was more clear,” Even said quietly, turning his head to the side and dipping his chin down to rub against his own shoulder as he looked at Isak. The stars always reminded him of Isak, Isak and his alternate universes, Isak and his shiny eyes, and the stars there were absolutely perfect. Probably the clearest he’d find near the city. “And I wouldn’t have proposed to you, the man I love who deserves the entire world, anywhere less than perfect.” 

“I would have said yes no matter where or how you asked but I’m so glad you went all out,” Isak told him, moving to run a hand through Even’s hair, it slipping down the inside of his hood and resting on the back of his neck. “It was a moment I’m never going to forget. One of the best moments I will ever have in my entire lifetime. Right up there with marrying you and soon to be beside starting a family.” 

“Oh please, you would have been such a brat about it for _the rest of our lives_ if I didn’t go all out,” Even joked, smiling and leaning forward, nudging his nose against Isak’s. He knew what he was doing, and it was working. Pulling his focus, making him think about everything good. But that wasn’t the problem, Isak always made Even happy. Maybe it was that Even didn’t always make Isak happy. And Even knew how to control conversations too. “Besides, I always want to do the thing that is going to make you the most happy.” 

“You do way more than enough to make me happy,” Isak said, followed by an upset sigh that made Even’s heart sink just a little. “You don’t have to try so hard, though, is what I’m trying to get at. I know that ever since your diagnosis, everyone made everything about you, about your feelings, focused too hard and that made you uncomfortable. But _you_ need to still work on your own feelings. Don’t ever try to make me happy at the expense of your own happiness. I need you happy just as much as you need me happy. And the thing is, you make me happy just by being you, by being the boy I loved, the man I love, my _husband_ and the future father of my children.” 

“Sometimes I can’t help it,” Even told him honestly, thinking about all the times he had sacrificed his own happiness for Isak’s. It wasn’t unfair of Isak to ask Even to not make that sacrifice, though. It was probably a lot of pressure, being on that pedestal he had Isak up on. “I think about how it feels to be sad, and I don’t want you to feel like that.” 

“And the sad you’re thinking of is way worse than what I’m feeling,” Isak responded almost too quickly, like his therapist sensors were on. “Besides, you can always try to make me happy but never at your own expense. Find other ways. You’re creative and I’m sure you can do it. I think you’ve been sad enough for a lifetime and I’m going to make more of an effort to make sure I’m not adding to that.” 

“You’re so sweet,” Even said, with a sniffle, not being able to get much else out. “When’d you get so sweet?”

“I’m one hundred percent sure I learned it from you,” Isak said, his hand on Even’s neck pulling him just a little closer. “Listen Ev, I’m obviously not perfect. I’ve been really fucking stupid with this whole Mats situation but I’m done. I’m just so goddamn lucky that you still want to be with me. That you’re still around after I took you for granted. I’m really fucking sorry and I love you so much for what you did but I don’t ever want to kiss anyone else again.” 

“We’ve already discussed this, I don’t think you’re stupid, I think it makes sense,” Even told him, wishing it wasn’t true, actually kind of wishing he could be mad at him, but he couldn’t. He’d done nothing wrong. Even told him to do it because he needed him to. Even just kind of hurt, but it’d end eventually, as long as Isak still loved him. And he did, and so the pain would end. 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, I’m trying to lead up to this romantically but I forget you like to interrupt,” Isak said, pulling him closer and giving him a knowing little smirk. He pressed a short yet somehow lingering kiss then pulled back, leaving a tingling on Even’s lips. “Okay, I want to be dramatic about this so I need you to stand up, please.” 

Isak stood up and then pulled Even off the ground, kissing him again before pulling back and taking Even’s hand. The kisses were incredibly disorienting, he was putting everything into these short little pecks and it had Even’s attention. He kind of stood in awe with his eyebrows curiously raised, eyes having adjusted pretty well to the lack of light by now that he was sure Isak could see. And Isak did, smiling playfully in return and then dropping down to one knee. 

“You got to propose and that’s totally fine, you did way better than I could ever do,” Isak told him, staring up at him with a smile and Even couldn’t help but smile back. “But not too long ago you told me that sometimes you’re going to need reassuring. And things have been so stupid that I think some reassuring is in order, because Baby, I love you so damn much. I am so much _more_ than satisfied being with you, it’s insane. I don’t need anyone else. I married you because I wanted to be with you forever. That hasn’t changed and I’d marry you again and again and again.” 

Even opened his mouth to reply but Isak tilted his head and gave him a look that told him to stop with the interruptions. Even closed his mouth and smiled and then Isak’s smile faded slowly and he tilted his head, squeezing Even’s hand, “And lastly, I feel like I need to ask. I want this so bad but I’ve been such a dick and I wouldn’t be surprised if you said no. Do you still want to have a baby with me, Even?” 

“It’s been difficult but you haven’t been a _dick_ per say,” Even joked, getting down on his knees to get to level with Isak. “And I still really want to have a baby with you, that hasn’t changed... I mean, maybe tonight it’s not detectable by the human eye, but we _are_ written in the stars. Nothing’s changed for me.” 

“You always have the cheesiest thing to say right on cue,” Isak joked, reaching over and running his fingers through Even’s hair gently, sending happy tingles down his spine. “But, nothing’s changed for me, either. I want you, always.” 

“What about right here, right now?” Even asked, raising his brows and smirking just a little. His heart was full, Isak’s pretty eyes smiling in the dark, proposing the rest of their lives made him forget about everything else. He wanted to hold him, take off his clothes, be close to him and show his love as physically as possible in this completely perfect place. 

“It’s going to have to be quick if you want me to get up in the morning,” Isak said, smirking back and moving closer,  
*

_Thursday, June 20_

Thursday dinner with Even’s family that week had Isak’s birthday as a theme, filled with cake _and_ presents. Isak would have just rather had one big birthday party that started off with family and dwindled down to his friends, but that apparently wasn’t an option for their friends with kids. So, that night was Even’s family and Marianne, and they’d have lunch with Terje, Lisa, and Milo the next day—and Isak would bet Even would make the day special in other ways, too—and then Saturday was the big bash his friends and Even had been planning since that dinner Isak and Even had with Yousef and Sana. 

“Okay, so this isn’t much,” Marianne began, only to be cut off by Alexander. 

“Nonsense, you put a lot of work into that,” He said, putting a hand on her shoulder from behind and smiling at her. Isak watched the contact for a moment then Alexander looked back at him, “check it out, she did an amazing job.” 

“Okay,” Isak said, trying not to psychoanalyze the moment between caretaker and patient as he opened up the nicely wrapped present. He could tell before he opened it that it was a book of some sort, kind of big and kind of heavy. Taking that and the comment about his Mom putting a lot of work into it, he opened it with care, slowly as if it could crumble beneath his hands. And, maybe it would. It wasn’t often he’d get presents from her so it very well could. 

Once the wrapping paper was gone, he realized it wasn’t one, but three books. He looked at them one at a time. On the top, his name was drawn out in pretty calligraphy, below, three pictures of him: one as a baby, one where he had to be seven, maybe eight, and a picture she must have gotten on his facebook of him in his Russ attire. He opened it up and flipped through the scrapbook slowly, pictures of him and his family when his was too small to remember with little notes from her, scribbled out as if she was forgetting as she was writing them. When he started getting older around six or seven, there were much less pictures, but she seemed to have rummaged to find everything she could for the book. 

“Wow,” He said, looking at it and feeling a little emotional. He barely remembered having a good relationship with either of his parents. As much as he struggled and tried with his Mom when he was younger, there was always a distance, even now he cared and he loved her but it was still there. But the book seemed to show how much she cared but couldn’t say out loud. She loved Isak, all the hearts, bible verses, and other scrawlings in the book said so. He didn’t know why or how now was the time for her to show such deep appreciation, but Isak didn’t care. It felt good. He loved it. 

“But look at the rest, there’s so much more,” Alexander pressed, motioning to the other books in Isak’s lap. Apparently more scrapbooks. So, Isak nodded, letting Even take the first one and pass it around. When Isak looked at the cover of the next one, he almost gasped. This time the calligraphy was a little smaller, to fit more words, _’Isak and Even’_. The three pictures underneath being one of the two of them on the swings when Isak was maybe five, another when they were both really awkward and prepubescent, and one from their wedding day.

“No way,” Even said beside him, wrapping his arm tighter around Isak’s shoulders and leaning in a little closer to get a better look at the cover. He smiled at Isak then up at Marianne, “These are absolutely incredible.” 

“I must admit there are some pictures in that one that are not just of you two, some of your friends as well,” Marianne said with a little shrug. “You two are in every single picture though. And not everyone’s name was going to fit.” 

“That’s fine, Mom, I love it,” Isak said as he opened up the cover. He looked through, watching his own love story unfold before his eyes. Pictures of when Isak was three, ones he’d never seen of the two of them, some pictures she must have asked Josefine for, and some that must have been from his facebook page. A lot of the pictures with their friends were the years when Isak was closeted and Even was with Mikael, awkward years for their relationship, and in the pictures they were spotted miles apart. Of course, nobody had pictures of their late night talks after those times with his friends. There weren’t pictures of the endless cuddles they shared in the dark, but the pictures of him and his friends reminded him of those moments. Even then the time they spent with others led to countless hours of reconnecting—though it was just words back then. Isak ran his hand over a particular picture and laughed a little before looking up at Even. “I was dating Ingrid in this one.” 

“Yeah, except when we got home, all you did was complain about breaking up with her,” Even said, laughing a little too. That was basically how closeted Isak worked. He’d date a girl or try to and in public make it look like it was the greatest thing, and then just complain to Even about it. No wonder Even knew he was gay before he told him. “When you did that, I always wanted to kiss you. You’re so cute when you’re pouting.” 

“Shut up,” Isak said, blushing just a little as if he was that kid complaining about girlfriends who had done nothing wrong but not be the right gender for him. He shook his head and turned the page, watching Mikael and Ingrid dwindle out and then the pictures started getting back mostly to the two of them, growing together, happy together, it was absolutely beautiful. He had no idea what could even be in the third book. He was trying not to put a bubble around just himself and Even but it was hard at the moment, “If we compared this scrapbook to a bad times scrapbook, the bad times wouldn’t even compare. We have _this many_ amazing moments, Baby.” 

“Ohh, have you guys been fighting?” Ana asked, piping up from the Isak scrapbook she had been immersed in. “You’re supposed to tell me these things.” 

“We haven’t,” Isak said, addressing the room to fix his mistake. That was a comment for when they were alone. “Everything’s just been a little crazy with everything moving so fast. We’re great, though. Right, Ev?”

“Of course we are,” Even smiled and topped it off with a kiss, pulling back and taking the scrapbook from Isak’s lap with him. “Let’s see the third.” 

Isak picked it up and the tears he’d been holding back started streaming from his eyes. The place for the name was blank, but there was a calligraphy marker taped to the top. There were no pictures and it was completely blank besides the inside cover, where it read “For My Baby’s Baby.” Isak ran his fingers over the words a few times, swallowing and trying to get the lump out of his throat so his voice wouldn’t crack when he talked. 

“I—” It cracked and he cleared his throat, trying again, “Thank you, Mom, I love it so much.” He handed it to Even and got up so that he could hug her. “Thank you, I love you.” 

“I love you, too, Isak, Happy Birthday,” Marianne said, embracing the hug and holding him tighter than Isak thought she’d be able to manage. They held it for a few moments before she let go, Isak standing up straight and going back to sit with Even. 

“Well, I haven’t given Isak any of his presents yet and compared to these, they’re all garbage,” Even said playfully, but Isak knew he also kind of worried about Isak liking what he got, though he literally always nailed it. Isak smiled and turned to look at him, patting him on the cheek. 

“I’m sure I’ll love whatever it is,” Isak told him, kissing him again and then turning to look at Ana, “So, what’d you get me, your awesome brother-in-law on this very special day?”

“Shut up, it’s not even your birthday yet,” Ana said and then tossed something at him. He caught it, a grey sweatshirt. “I borrowed that like three years ago, I think. I thought you could have it back.” 

“That’s actually mine,” Even said, looking at Isak and then at Ana. 

“Mine now, It was birthday present,” Isak said with a smirk, turning to Even and pecking him playfully on the lips as he held the sweatshirt tight to his chest.

 

_Friday, June 21_

Even and Isak worked that morning but took off at lunch. They had lunch with Terje, Lisa, and Milo and then spent the rest of the day together, celebrating as a couple. And Even made it amazing, as usual, spoiling him in all the best possible ways, but as Even was bringing him back home that night, the tension was building. They hadn’t had sex since Even woke him up that morning and Isak was seriously itching for it. 

“Drive faster,” Isak pouted, reaching over and squeezing Even’s leg and slipping his fingers down his inner thigh. “I really want to get you in bed.” 

“And you have no idea what I have planned,” Even said, almost sinisterly with a little laugh. He looked over at Isak just for a moment but it made his heart jump, the gleam was sinister too, he really had a plan, and they were so close to home. But so far still, especially with the hard-on that was growing in his jeans. “I wasn’t going to tell you there was a plan, but...I need you to just hold on, wait till we get to bed. We’ll be home in five minutes.” 

Even took Isak’s hand off his thigh and intertwined their fingers, lifting his hand up to his mouth and giving it a gentle little kiss, which Isak so wasn’t falling for after the look in his eyes. He supposed it was only fair, they were in a moving vehicle and Even had plans for _home_ , but Isak couldn’t be teased with looks like that. 

“Well, tell me what you have planned, then,” Isak said, using his free hand to adjust his jeans just a little. He wished he was wearing something a little more loose fitting at that moment. “What is it? A birthday spanking? Are you going to wear something sexy and put on a show?” 

“We’re almost there, you’ll find out shortly,” Even said, laughing lightly as they turned onto their street. They really were almost there, but at this point Even was going to to have to cary Isak in. Actually, he was about to demand it, especially after having been looked at like that. “Don’t worry, I know you’re so horny you can’t even handle it right now. But I’ll make it worth your while, I swear.” 

“Fine,” Isak said as the parked in their parking spot, unbuckling his seatbelt and looking at Even. The clock was ticking down and they were getting closer to their bed, and Isak was getting hotter, “But give me a hint, is there a theme? Will there be a lot of foreplay? What kind of kinky is it going to be? I’ve gotta prepare myself.” 

Even shot him another look then got out, walking around the car and opening Isak’s door for him. Isak took his hand and got out, letting Even pull him, in a hand gripping onto the back of his thigh and giving it a squeeze as he whispered in his ear, “Let’s just say I bought a new toy.”

 _“Faen,”_ Isak groaned, yanking Even’s hand and pulling him towards the door. That was enough of the talk, it was time to get inside and get some action. The two of them didn’t use toys in bed very often because there wasn’t much need, they managed to keep things fresh and fun without external objects. But, when they did decide there was use for it, it was amazing, and Isak thought birthday sex was the perfect time to re-incorporate toys. 

Once they got into their room, Isak pulled Even in for a kiss, pressing his lips hard to his and pulling their bodies so close they were touching. He could feel that Even was just about as hard as he was, his brain scrambling at the little bliss that came from their boners grinding against each other. His lips felt like they were swelling as they pressed harder and harder, ready for more. But as Isak went to wrap his leg around Even’s, Even pulled back. 

“Strip down,” Even suddenly demanded, pulling up on Isak’s shirt and helping him take it off. “Hurry. I’m going to tie you down.” 

Isak did as he was told, letting Even go into the closet to dig out the toy while Isak stripped down to nothing and laid on the bed, fondling himself just a little while he waited for Even, who returned from the closet with a little box where they kept some of their kinkier things, like the bandanas they used to tie each other up. He pulled them out and a couple of other things then tossed them on the bed, taking a bandana at a time and tying Isak’s wrists to the headboard. 

“My God, Baby,” Even said once Isak’s hands were tied up and Even was beside him on his knees, wrapping his hands around Isak’s dick. Isak responded immediately with a hiss, thrusting his hips up into the touch. “You are so sexy and _so_ turned on. Don’t worry, I’ll fix that.”

Isak moaned out as Even slowly jerked him off, tugging on his restraints and watching. It felt good, but not as good as it could be, his lower stomach aching for more pressure, touch, anything. And Even knew, slowly leaning down and wrapping his mouth around him. Isak wished he could reach down and tangle his fingers in his hair while Even moved between his legs and bobbed his head steadily, giving Isak what he wanted. 

“Baby,” Isak moaned out as Even bobbed, a hand on Isak’s stomach, another on his ass, a dry finger ever-tempting pressure against his hole. Isak couldn’t help but wrap his leg around his torso, spreading his legs even wider for him. There was supposed to be a toy incorporated at some point but Isak was already feeling amazing, and he couldn’t wait for what was to come next. 

As if reading his thoughts, Even popped off his dick and kissed down Isak’s thigh, his tongue joining his finger at his hole as they helped each other inside. It tingled and stretched and had Isak moaning out more, pulling at his restraints and wiggling under the touch. It felt so good as Even’s tongue prodded, adding more fingers and stretching him further as Isak moaned and whimpered helplessly, not being able to do anything but enjoy it.

“Fuck, Even, more, please,” Isak groaned out after he couldn’t take it anymore. He had no control over the situation but he had to beg and hope Even took pity on him. Hope Even would give him all the more that he wanted. Except it was his birthday, and he knew that he would, so he tried to let himself relax. It was definitely easy to let Even be in control, but it was always so hard to relax when he was so wound up. He didn’t actually begin to let himself relax until just before Even pulled back, smirking at him and grabbing the other things that he had pulled from the box. 

Isak breathed heavily and watched as Even poured some lube into his hand and started lathering the toy—which appeared to be a butt plug, slightly larger than the others they owned, but it wasn’t the only piece the toy, because Even had something else in his hand but Isak wasn’t sure what it was. But he didn’t ask, he just spread his legs and let Even insert the plug, stretching and filling him in different ways than Even did. He groaned out and tipped his head back, feeling his muscles tighten against the plug, throbbing around it. 

“Feel good, Baby?” Even asked, getting up off the bed, still holding the other object. Isak breathed deeply, his entire body starting to throb with the muscles in his ass as he watched Even pull off his shirt. He managed a nod when Even met his eyes, and Even smirked and the held up the object in his hand. From what Isak could tell, it was some sort of remote. “Good, because it’s about to feel a whole lot better.” 

Just as he said it, he pressed a button on the remote and the plug started vibrating, vibrating all those throbbing muscles and tingling up to the bundle of nerves the plug barely reached. It felt absolutely amazing and it had Isak arching his back and calling out Even’s name. Fuck, he’d always wondered about vibraters, but _fuck_ it felt so good. But it made him want more, just like Even’s tongue. 

“Happy birthday, Isak,” Even told him as he pressed another button and then tossed the remote onto the bed. The vibrating got stronger, massaging the nerves even further now, making Isak begin to build up without even being touched. Fuck, it felt so good but it made him want to touch Even so bad, want to be touched by Even so damn bad, and he just watched as Even walked towards the door, opening it and turning to him with a wink, “I’ll be right back.” 

“Even!” Isak cried out, watching him leave the room, leaving him with the vibrating torture without any human touch. Cum was leaking from his dick and he couldn’t stop wiggling, couldn’t stop trying to scrape the itch he needed to scratch. Even was obviously planning on him using his stamina, planned on edging him with the toy and then driving him wild when he replaced it. But, if he came before Even got back, that would be Even’s problem, not his. So he squirmed and thrashed while the constant vibration pushed and pushed him. 

He honestly didn’t know how long it had been when Even came back in the room, but he was basically in agony, crying out for Even’s touch as soon as he opened the door. But Even listened and obliged right away, walking over and placing his hand on Isak’s dick. It was slick, as if he had lubed it up while he was away, and Isak didn’t think too much of it until Even was moving up over top of him. 

Even wasn’t going to removed the plug and fuck him. He was going to keep it in and ride him. And Isak’s entire body would probably explode from all of it. He watched helplessly as Even picked up the remote, turned the vibration down and then slowly eased himself down onto Isak. He put a hand on his chest and looked down at him once he was bottomed out. Isak’s entire body was tingling with the good feelings, extra warmth radiating from everywhere Even touched. 

“Fuck, Baby you feel so good,” Even groaned, leaning down and putting both of his hands on Isak’s shoulders. Isak bent his legs a little bit and did what work he could, pressing up into Even when he bounced down, wishing he could grab his hips and move them himself. Even didn’t read his mind and untie him, but he did lean down and kiss him, letting the two of them devour the other’s lips between their own, shoving their tongues so far down each other’s throats that they could probably be considered as just one person. 

Isak’s brain turned mushier and mushier the longer they went. With Even sweating on top of him, moaning his name, the vibrating from the toy, and the way Even’s ass enveloped his dick so well, he was losing it. He had tried to hold on, wanting to savor every last minute of the bliss, but he couldn’t forever. And, eventually, he was climaxing, calling out Even’s name and pulling as hard as he could on his ties. His wrists were going to be sore and red but it was all worth it as he collapsed under Even, spent as the he helped his husband finish off onto his chest. 

“Faen, Even,” The plug kept vibrating, though, making Isak whimper, over stimulating him as Even finished. It was a lot, his body had collapsed but his lower half was pressing him forward again, “please, Ev,” he whimpered again as Even slowly got off of Isak and found the remote. 

“Shh Baby, it’s okay,” Even said, petting his cheek with a finger and pressing a button on the remote. It vibrated harder, making Isak jump and squirm and thrash some more. 

“E-Ev-Even!” He squeaked out kicking his feet up. 

“Okay, okay, I’m done,” Even said with a little laugh, pressing a button and making the vibrating finally stop and Isak fell limp once more. He was breathing heavily, watching as Even ran his hand over the tops of Isak’s thighs before slipping it in between his legs and slowly removing the plug, which made Isak whimper one more time, making Even ask if he was okay.

“Fuck, yeah, that was incredible,” Isak barely managed to say, wiggling his wrists a little more to get Even to untie them. He slowly obliged, untying and letting Isak fall freely to the bed, his body still trembling. “I can’t wait to use that on you.” 

“I’m sure you can’t,” Even smiled and ran his hands down his arms, leaning down and kissing his forehead. “Now, I’m going to go draw us a bubble bath. You just relax right here and then I will carry you to the tub, and probably back to bed where we can just relax for the rest of your birthday, sound good?” 

“Yeah, thank you,” Isak said, already feeling completely exhausted. He wanted to lay on his stomach and cuddle into the pillows and blankets but he was covered in cum. So he just stayed as he was, closing his eyes and nodding off until Even came back for him.

 

_Saturday, June 22_

“Okay, this had to have been expensive,” Isak said, looking up at the warehouse that was apparently rented out for his party. He’d know the cost, he’d helped plan events for Even and some other friends before. He didn’t mean for it to be the first thought he had when he saw it, but seeing as he was relying on Terje for money, it was hard not to. 

“Isak,” Even said in a bit of a warning tone, giving him a look before getting out of the car and walking around to open his door for him. “You are not to complain about expenses or anything tonight. Besides, I _barely_ pitched in on the cash department. I just did all the other heavy lifting. I want you to enjoy yourself. I want you to complain about something because you don’t like it, not because of the cost.” 

“I’m just going to point out that you spoil me like that and then end up calling me a brat anyway,” Isak told him, taking his hand and getting out of the car. He doubted there was anything to complain about inside _besides_ the cost. 

“Yes but you’re a brat in a very cute way,” Even told him with a smile, booping his nose with his finger and then starting to pull him towards the building. “Everyone’s already in there, and I can’t promise that the party didn’t start without us. I mean, there _is_ a champagne fountain and absolutely no children.” 

“Shut up, you actually got the champagne fountain?” Isak basically gasped, thinking about how he was joking about the chocolate and champagne fountains, and yet he wanted them so badly. “You are literally the most amazing husband in the entire world.”

“Because you’re so amazing, Baby,” Even said, and as they got closer to the building, Isak could hear the music. It was a party they would have killed for in high school but just didn’t have the means. A warehouse where they could be as loud and as drunk and high as they wanted. He was getting old, but he was glad to not be too old for this. And as they walked through the doors, flashing lights and happy faces of some of the people he most loved in the world lit up the room, making him smile from ear to ear. 

It was basically one big space, a DJ booth and dancefloor right in the middle, tables, and other chairs and benches sprinkled around the edges. The two fountains were next to each other on the right side of the room with the food, and there was a photobooth on the other side. Isak knew everybody, some more than others or only because they were a significant other of a friend, but he was really looking around for a couple of faces, hoping they would have been able to make it from London. Except, everyone had been expecting him, so it was a bombardment of friends he had to say hi to before he could find out if Eva, Noora, and Eskild had made it. 

“Twenty-five, man, hell yeah!” Jonas said, pulling him in and giving him a hug. He was the first of his inner circle he had found amongst all the other friends in the room. Unfortunately, he wasn’t with Eva, but he was with Sonja, Mats, and Magnus. “Honestly, I got you the greatest present ever, like this is so….are you ready?” 

“Right now?” Isak asked, widening his eyes a little and looking around. He didn’t see any presents so he felt like Jonas was about to pull some prank. 

“Yeah man,” Jonas said, clapping his hands and then cupping them around his mouth as he yelled out, “Yo, Mahdi!” 

Just then, Mahdi popped out from behind the chair Magnus was sitting in, throwing his arms out to the sides and kind of striking a pose. Isak’s eyes somehow widened more as he saw him, and he couldn’t help but run up to him and give him a hug. He could’ve jumped into his arms he was so excited. He hadn’t seen him in ages, they’d barely heard from him in months. Only from little conversations in their group chats. And there he was, in the damn flesh.

“Shut the hell up,” Isak said, hugging him tight and then pulling away, putting both hands on his face and looking at him to make sure he was really him. “Shit, it’s actually you.” He turned and looked at Jonas, “You did this?” Jonas nodded and Isak looked at Even, “Did you know about this?” 

“Nei,” Even said, smiling and walking over, giving Mahdi a little handshake and a hug too, “nice to see you, man.” 

“Yeah, it is,” Isak said and looked around, “Where’s the girlfriend?” 

“She’s here somewhere,” Mahdi said with a shrug, looking around and nodding in a direction behind Isak. It’s probably where she was, “Yeah, unshockingly, she took an immediately liking to Sana so she’s over there hanging out with them.” 

“And why aren’t we over there with them?” Isak asked, turning around and seeing the Sana and the rest of the girls, including a tiny Eva in Noora’s lap. He’d bet Eskild wasn’t far either. This was it, all of his favorite people all in the same place. For _his_ birthday. Including Mahdi. Everyone. He was _so_ ready to party.

“I was giving Vilde a little time alone with them to talk about me if she wanted to,” Magnus said, standing up from his chair and walking over to Isak to give him a hug. It was his greeting, the first time he got up from the chair since Even and Isak came over, obviously in a mood because he and Vilde were in an off-again place, again. “But, we can go over there now.” 

“Even and I need drinks first,” Isak said, “We’ll meet you over there.”  
~

He sat in Even’s lap in a chair and tipped back champagne as he talked to his friends, reminiscing about old times. Isak noticed that Eva tended to throw in stories mainly focused on Vilde and Magnus. She was being pretty discreet about it, good at flowing the conversation into it, but Isak was probably focusing on her more than he should, so he noticed. He wondered how she felt, not because she looked sick—she actually looked a lot better than the last time he’d seen her on FaceTime two weeks ago—but because she almost died. And that had been hard for all of them, but how had it been for her? Not that that explained her leading into Magnus and Vilde stories, but it had caused him to notice. 

“Jacob’s like that, he just gets so curious about little details, it’s so cute,” Eskild said, talking about the guy who apparently came back that day. The guy that he was actually seeing exclusively, though he wasn’t calling boyfriend yet. 

“It was cute at first but after awhile it gets to be annoying,” Vilde said, shaking her head, “Like he was just looking for something to ask, something to pick at.” 

“Really?” Magnus asked, looking at her incredulously, “Because to me right now, it sounds like _you’re_ trying to pick a fight with me.” 

“Hey, guys, we’re not doing fights tonight, it’s a celebration,” Even said, squeezing Isak’s waist a little as he talked. He told Isak no drama, so there would be no drama and Mats had been pretty quiet so everything was good as long as they could keep Magnus and Vilde from going at each other’s throats. 

“I know you guys hate when me and Isak do this, but I gotta say that it seems like you two like to fight in front of your friends, but you have a pretty good time alone,” Mats said, clearing his throat. A potential problem addressing a problem. “Like you both want to seem right in front of your friends. But you should probably just both realize that you were both in the wrong in some way. Oh, and your friends don’t care who’s right and who’s wrong.”

“That’s a really good observation, Mats,” Eva said, obviously on team Magnus and Vilde. “Plus you guys absolutely adore each other. You should be able to get passed this. You’ll regret it if you give it up now.”

“Probably not the best time for a couples therapy session, guys,” Isak said, biting his lip and getting up. This could get ugly so he had to think fast, “But I think it’s a great time to see how many people we can fit in one of those photo booth pictures.”

~  
*  
Even struggled to find Isak’s third request from that day. A combination of Even plus twenty-five. Sex twenty-five times in one day was unrealistic, and one ice sculpture of himself would have been too expensive and would have also creeped the hell out of Even, let alone twenty-five. Twenty-five wasn’t their number, wasn’t lucky, didn’t evoke emotion for either of them, but it was a quarter of a century. Even should have been able to think up something clever. 

But he couldn’t. He watched as Isak socialized with his friends. He was so happy to see Mahdi and Eva, happy to hang out with everyone almost like they used to. Mats was still there and Even still felt a little weird about all of that, but really he just focused on Isak and his happiness. And Isak had elected to stay close all night until right then when Even had gotten up to get them more champagne. When he gave him his glass, he stepped back and bit his lip. They’d already made all their rounds, seen everyone and so it was fine that they had landed where they were, but Even felt like maybe he should walk around some more, host a little bit more. 

He looked around and then quietly stepped away, hoping to not be noticed and be able to slip in and out as he hosted the rest of the party. 

“Where ya going, Baby?” Isak had asked, apparently having noticed him slip away. He couldn’t help but smile a little at that. All his friends there and he was paying attention to Even. “Bathroom?” 

“I was going to walk around a little, talk to some of our other friends,” Even said, looking at him and shrugging a little. 

“Oh, yeah, of course we should do that,” Isak said, shaking his head a little and looking around for a moment then back up at Even, “I guess I just got caught up in Mahdi and Eva and Noora and Eskild, I forgot about everyone else. I’m sorry. Yeah, let’s make rounds.” 

“You don’t need to, Love,” Even said, “I invited them, not you.” 

“Nei, I don’t care, we’re a team,” Isak said, stopping him and then pulling him in to peck him on the lips. “But, actually, I want to show you something first, so come on.” Isak led Even towards the back where the restrooms were. Except instead of taking the right door to go into the bathrooms, he took the left, which Even knew just led to the back of the building. Even didn’t know if he meant it, but he followed anyway. 

“There’s something you want to show me out here?” Even asked, looking around outside. Instead of answering, Isak grabbed onto Even’s waist and pushed him against the wall, kissing him hard. Even put his own hands on Even’s face and in his hair, holding his head close as they kissed and then slowly pushing back when he felt he needed the air. “I’m sorry I couldn’t think of anything clever with the number twenty-five and myself.” 

“What? Oh, that, I don’t even care,” Isak said, moving his arms to wrap around Even’s neck as Even’s hands fell to Isak’s waist. “But I wouldn’t mind you making it up to me by fucking me here, against this wall. Quick, before our friends notice we’re gone, like old times.” 

“Oh God, are you that drunk?” Even asked with a laugh, his dick twitching at the thought, though. 

“I am but it’s a great idea,” Isak smirked, playing with the hair on the back of Even’s neck and sending chills down his spine. Even bit his lip, definitely in agreeance with Isak. It was a great idea. Nobody would come back there, they would go out front to smoke or do it directly in the warehouse. No one was coming back there and it would be hot as hell. “And it would really make me _enjoy_ my night even more. And I seem to recall that that was what you wanted for me tonight.” 

“Fy faen, you got me there,” Even said with a little laugh, biting his lip and leaning down to rest his forehead against Isak’s. “Birthday-themed sex round two? I’m so down.”

“I love you so much, thank you for tonight,” Isak said as their lips got closer and closer. 

“I love you too, so damn much,” Even mumbled right before he closed the gap.  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's this chapter, it's the last before the big move and the next chapter is probably going to have a different format and I'm not quite sure how it'll turn out but yeah! Soon, hopefully! There is a little more I'll be doing with Eva/Noora/Eskild/Mahdi all in town the rest of them, too before the move so don't think I just pulled those out and didn't show anything, it's coming (the downside of posting chapter by chapter) 
> 
> Again, thank you alllll so damn much for commenting! More comments and kudos welcome! ily


	9. Moving Along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOOO sorry this took forever to update. My laptop died and I bought a new one but it's taken almost a month to get to me and so this is all typed up on my phone which is the most awful thing ever okay. So I apologize if it's not the best chapter but hopefully I'll finally have my new laptop by Monday to get to writing again. 
> 
> But thank you to those still reading and commenting and I hope you're still enjoying, there's obvs a lot more to come.

_Sunday, June 23_

To commemorate Eva, Noora, Mahdi, and Eskild being in town, the gang decided to meet at their old table outside Nissen to plan out the rest of their stay. Mahdi would be staying longer than Eva and Noora, who had to get back for appointments on Thursday and Friday and nobody knew how long Eskild was staying. So, Eva and Noora were the ones everyone was really focused on spending time with, even though Isak was worried about how little time he and Even had left there. They had to make sure to spend time with everyone before they’d be gone for so long. 

When Even and Isak walked up to the table, most of their friends were already there, sans kids shockingly enough. Though, Yousef and Mags were going on about their daughters when the two of them got there. According to Yousef, Magnus was lucky because so far Dila was much easier than Ivar had ever been. 

“But I still want a boy, you know, someday,” Magnus said with a shrug, turning as Even and Isak sat down beside him, “you two are probably hoping for a boy, too, right? I mean, you know everything going on with a boy and you won’t even have a girl to help you out with all of that chick stuff.” 

“They don’t need a girl in the relationship to help,” Vilde said a little harsh in response. It was a little shocking as she wasn’t usually being the first one to jump into an LGBT argument for Even and Isak, especially not to Magnus of all people. “They can handle it. Besides, they have friends, they have moms. They can figure it out.” 

“Okay, jeez,” Magnus said, surrendering a little quicker than he usually would in an argument with anyone and leaning back to try to show a bit of nonchalance in the matter. It made the space silent for a second, a block of tension building around them as no one really wanted to get into the confusing domestic dispute that was always going on with the two of them as of lately. 

“So then are you two going to try for another? A boy?” Eva asked Vilde, clearing her throat and throwing some excitement into her voice to cut the tension. “That would be so exciting, you guys and Isak and Even all having kids around the same age. They could go to school together and be like all of us.” 

“Actually Vilde and I are breaking up,” Magnus said bluntly, cold and monotonous, his mouth setting in a straight line as he looked off, away from everyone else. “So that won’t be happening. Maybe Yousef and Sana can try for another so you can have that.” 

“Wait, you guys are… you’ve got to be kidding me?” Eva asked, her eyes widening as she looked between the two. She was more shocked than everyone else, not having been witness to all the bad things going on between the two of them recently. Not that it wasn’t shocking, Isak was shocked for sure, especially knowing all of what Magnus felt for her. And even more, knowing that this was breaking up a family. “You can’t just break up. You love each other, you’ve got a kid. Sure, you both have done some questionable shit but you don’t throw all of that away, I mean, fy faen.”

Eva started getting emotional, her eyes tearing up as she talked. She wiped them rapidly and looked up at the sky, making Isak feel like he had to look up, too. He did, it was a nice day, blue skies and not too hot. Not the kind of day you’d be expecting to hear bad news. Maybe that was why Eva was so upset. It was supposed to be a good day, she probably needed good days. He couldn’t imagine the dark cloud the sickness probably put over her. 

“Maybe someday we’ll come back together, it’s just not working,” Vilde said, trying to be upbeat but sounding so fake. Isak thought that was why the two of them never got very close, she often faked her happiness, he didn’t know if anyone really knew the real her. Maybe Chris, but that was it. “We’re still going to be in each others lives, obviously, so no one worry about that. All of this is going to be be _fine_.” 

Sorry, it just sucks,” Eva said, shaking her head and leaning into Noora, who wrapped her arms around her and held tight. 

“She doesn’t mean to be so dramatic but she’s totally justified,” Noora said gently, kissing the side of Eva’s face and rubbing her arm. “With everything that happened and everything we need to think about moving forward, she’s been overwhelmed. This sucks just enough to tip the scales.” 

“Sorry..I didn’t know, I wouldn’t have said anything,” Magnus stammered a little, never good with female tears. “Maybe I should leave?” 

“Mags, no, obviously that would be worse,” Even said, his hand on Isak’s back sliding around his waist and holding his side. Isak wasn’t loving the situation, but he was also glad that the attention wasn’t on them for once. Everything about them was finally settling and smoothing out and they weren’t the problem. And certainly not the trigger of Eva’s tears. And he and Even were on the same page, thinking the same things, looking at Eva with concern “ But wait, everything moving forward? I thought everything was good. That after the chemo, it’s all good. Is there something going on?”

“No, everything is fine, but there’s a lot of tests and scans for at the least the next five years to make sure it doesn’t come back,” Noora said with a sigh, squeezing Eva, who was getting ahold of herself and slowly moving to sit up straight. “There’s just a lot to look at. I’m sure you can understand it if you put yourself in her shoes.” 

“Well then I suppose we’re going to want to do some upbeat things to tip the scales back,” Chris said, standing up and taking the place at the table that used to be Vilde’s, as if she’d taken over the throne. “There are a lot of things we can do. But today we can start simple. A picnic, and please bring the kids because I love hanging out with those rugrats.” 

“I’m telling you, you could make a lot of money as a nanny,” Vilde told her. 

“And I told you I would think about it,” Chris said, shaking her head and then getting back to the matter at hand. “And I’m open to suggestions for literally anything for the rest of our schedule.” 

 

_Wednesday, June 26_

“I don't know, I think whether or not he's good for Eskild, this is a good experience for him,” Noora said confidently. Eskild and Even were in the other room, getting everyone drinks and Eskild said when they got back, he wanted to dish about this boy. And not that Isak wouldn't believe Eskild and things he said, he'd rather hear from the girls what they were thinking. “I mean, all Eskild does is date around, he's slept with like all of London at this point. I think this could show him what the other side is like.” 

“I mean, Jacob’s great but I don't know, I think Eskild is who he is and this probably won't last either,” Eva told him with a shrug. She had a vape pen with THC in it and was puffing away at. She used it for her residual bouts of nausea, and always offered Isak a few puffs too. “He needs different things, he likes switching it up. Maybe if there were two guys. I could see him settling down with two guys.” 

“I'm sure he's thought about it,” Isak said with a laugh, shaking his head. “He'd probably relish in the idea of multiple husbands.” 

“Multiple husbands,” Eskild said cheerfully as he came back into the room, holding a couple drinks in hand and passing them to the girls. Even handed Isak his and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Now that’s an idea I can get behind. Have you two finally decided to expand your love bubble? I better be the first one you offer the position to.” 

“But what about your English hottie?” Even asked, smiling along and squeezing Isak’s shoulder. They were always _Isak’s_ friends growing up, but over the years, they’d grown closer and closer to the other’s friends and Isak felt pretty confident calling them _their_ friends and thinking that Even was actually enjoying himself in their company. 

“I’m sure Jacob would be up for it, too,” Eskild said with ease, waving his hand as if all of this were obvious. “And so would you guys, ugh, you’d totally love to lick his abs. He’s so pretty, isn’t he _so_ pretty, Eva?” 

“Yes Eskild, you’ve got good taste,” Eva said as if she’d said it a million times before. Obviously she had to do a lot of reassuring on Eskild’s choice since he made it. He’d probably thought about ending it a million times already even though they hadn’t been together that long. “He’s got a great personality, too except you won’t hear Eskild talking about that.” 

“That’s not true, I would’ve totally gone on about how he spoils me,” Eskild said, sipping his drink and crossing his legs. “He has a heart of gold and lets me sleep in and makes me food and always makes sure to get me of when I need itf.” 

“Okay, but what does he do _work-wise_?” Isak asked, feeling like they really didn’t know anything about this Jacob except the fact that he was beautiful and liked Eskild enough to cater to him for more than a week. “Did he go to university? Any weird ticks?”

“Well, he does do this one thing…” 

“Not what he meant, Eskild,” Noora said, rolling her eyes and adjusting herself as Eva moved to rest her head in her lap, laying down on the couch and stretching her legs over Eskild’s lap. “I’ve probably gone more into this with him than Eskild has. He’s an accountant but also does charity work on the side. Stuff for the LGBT community..” 

“Do you really not know any of this?” Isak asked Eskild, raising an eyebrow at him. It wasn’t super shocking, but he thought Eskild might at least be a _little_ curious about this kind of stuff if he was getting himself into a relationship with this guy. 

“Duh, but that’s boring,” Eskild shrugged and leaned back, being way too nonchalant for someone who was claiming to be in his first actual relationship. “Until he starts taking me to events and I get to be his drunken arm candy. Then I’ll tell you more about it.” 

“Sounds to me like all you want to be is a trophy husband,” Even joked, shaking his head and looking at Eskild like he was about to give him some very serious advice. “But if you want him to stick around to get to that point, you might want to take a little interest now. I don’t know how anyone can put up with you but he is and _you_ like him. I bet when you get back, he’ll want to hear all about your trip. Talk to him about it and ask him what he did without you.” 

“Listen to Even, he’s smart in relationships,” Eva said, puffing on her vape and blowing it up in front of Noora’s face before turning to Isak and catching his gaze. “Isn’t that right? I mean you two have basically been together all your lives and you’re still happy.”

“Well, duh, seeing as Even lets Isak go out and kiss whoever he wants, it’s unsurprising that Isak is so happy,” Eskild said, joking and batting his eyelashes as if talking about the indiscretion was the cutest thing in the world. “Maybe I should have Jacob study under him.” 

“It’s funny you say that actually, because I do kiss whoever I want,” Isak said, trying to be witty and factual, “Because he’s the only one I want to kiss.”

“How was kissing Mats anyway?” Eva asked, looking over at Even and Isak. She looked back and forth then ended on Even. “Or maybe I shouldn’t ask that.” 

“Nei, it was nothing,” Isak said, putting a hand on Even’s thigh and squeezing gently. “Like I imagine it would be kissing one of you.” 

“Oh please, I am so skilled with my lips you wouldn’t even know what hit you,” Eskild said, shaking his head and pursing his lips as if trying to be seductive. “That’s why Even would never let you and you can never let Even. I will not be responsible for ending your marriage.” 

“Not even in your dreams, Eskild,” Even said in a jokingly defensive tone as he protectively tightened his arm around Isak. Isak always loved when he got protective of him like that, so he dipped further into the touch, wanting to nuzzle right up to him. 

“But things are good between you two, all things considered?” Noora asked curiously, looking at them as if she were worried, and Isak felt good to know that she cared enough about their relationship to worry. Of course with Vilde and Mags breaking up, it did feel like the season. As if their breakup could’ve been a gateway to much worse.

“I very much don’t want to talk about it,” Isak prefaced, biting his lip and putting both hands on his beer bottle, pushing up on the label with his thumbs. “I really care about Mats but Even is my life. I just let myself get the two things jumbled together. I absolutely hate that because I’m so happy and know that getting to keep Even is the biggest win I could’ve ever asked for. Even though I’m pretty sure I’ve lost Mats.” 

“You don’t know that,” Noora said with a shrug, “I think he’ll get over it. But if he doesn’t, that is kind of life. People grow up, grow apart, meet other people, start families, whatever. Things were going to change anyway with you guys heading off and starting this whole new chapter. You guys probably would’ve drifted anyway.” 

“Hey, you keep talking like that and you’re going to talk him right out of this,” Even said, in a warning tone but still joking and light. “Seriously, Isak loves all of you guys so much that sometimes _I’m_ jealous. So this idea of losing you guys to start a family is probably about to send him into a panic attack.” 

“Poor baby has abandonment issues from his Dad, totally makes sense,” Eskild said, pouting some. “Don’t worry, little Issy, we’ll always be around for you. And I’m going to godfather the hell out of your child.” 

“I’m fine,” Isak said, rolling his eyes and letting himself droop more into Even’s side as he sipped on his beer. He was right. Abandonment issues, he’d heard it from the therapist a billion times, but apparently he was odd, others with abandonment issues pushed people away, but Isak pulled closer and got anxiety over the idea of losing them. And even though he’d been working on it over the years and had gotten much better he still imagined that being away from Even for more than a day at work would send him into full anxiety mode. “I can handle growing up and growing apart, I mean you guys live in London and we’re planning on going all the way to the States. Obviously I’m okay with it.” 

“I bet your calls and texts double when you move out there, you’ll miss everyone so much,” Eva said with a laugh, fairly high and almost half asleep. “Good thing you’ll have Even.” 

“Even is all I need to stay sane,” Isak said smiling and turning to Even so that he could give him a little peck on the lips. It seemed staged, gooey, cliche to say, but it was a very real statement for him. Even kept him grounded, if he needed anyone around, it was always going to be him. “But I still think you guys should come and stay for a bit.” 

“Only if I can bring Jacob...granted we’re still together, maybe I’ll have to break up with him for an American boy,” Eskild put a finger on his chin and shrugged. “Hmm, I’ll figure it out.”

“Ten to one you fall in love with this guy,” Even said, always the one calling love, probably because he knew it so well. Isak was so lucky to be in love with him and have Even love him back. “And my instincts are never wrong.” 

“He’s not wrong,” Isak said with a shrug and a smile, thinking for a moment or two about all of the love predictions he’d had over the years. Obviously there was the two of them, and he totally called Noora and Eva from a mile away, then there was Adam and his wife, not to mention Magnus and Vilde—who, even though they weren’t together anymore, still fell in love to begin with. “You are going to fall in love with this guy so hard, Eskild.” 

“I’ll make sure to send you the text the _minute_ it happens,” Eva said with a smirk, sitting up and poking at Eskild jokingly. 

 

_Saturday, June 29_

“When did our place become the hangout location?” Even asked as the prepared for guests for the billionth time that week. They had finished up their final days at work the day before, which led to guests the night before that they were still cleaning up from and Isak had gotten a group message that afternoon telling him that they were planning on coming back over. “Tell them to bring their own food. And beer. And beer for us since we’re hosting.” 

“Someone’s cranky,” Isak said a little teasingly as he set a couple of empty beer bottles next to the sink and walked over to Even, who was cleaning off the table. He took the cloth out of his hand and set it down, letting Even slowly spin to face him then reaching up to gently run his fingers through his hair when he was. “I can tell them not to come if you want. Convince them to go out instead or whatever, if you want.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Even said, immediately responding to Isak’s touch and taking him by the hips. “I’m not as cranky as I sound. I’ve had fun with everyone. I love our friends. I’m just a little stressed about making sure we’ve got everything we need and that we do everything we need and I know you’re stressed about _seeing_ everyone you need but we’re doing that and basically only that.” 

“I guess I just keep feeling like we still have so much time, when in reality, it’s all going by so fast,” Isak said, his mouth knowing it before his brain registered it. Yeah, they still had over a week left, but where had the past month gone, hell, the past four? “It’s really not a lot of time, and we have a lot to do. I’m sorry, you’re right.”

“Wow, I think that’s the record for the quickest you’ve ever apologized and I wasn’t even looking for an apology,” Even said with a laugh, squeezing Isak’s hips and pulling him closer. “I do like hearing that, though, tell me I’m right again.”

“You’re _right_ ,” Isak repeated, usually hating telling him that but this wasn’t an argument. Even was being factual and that was the truth of the matter, besides if it made him laugh and look at Isak with those glossy eyes, then he’d say it all day long. So he smiled and kissed him and said it some more. “You’re right, you’re right, my sexy husband is so right.” 

“Now I’m not sure if you’re just saying it to get in my pants or not,” Even said skeptically, eyeing him for a moment before smirking and sliding a hand down to Isak’s ass, giving it a squeeze that literally could’ve made Isak moan. “And I don’t think I care.” 

“You _are_ right on this,” Isak said, lickings his lips and knowing he was about to lose coherence and that Even was going to completely bog his brain. He let go of him and moved back against the table, sitting down on it and pulling him back in once more. “I’m going to do better and we are going to be more than ready. Except now because I want you so bad.” 

“We are one hundred percent on the same page,” Even said, putting a hand under Isak’s thigh and hitching it up for him. Even dipped down and Isak surged up, their lips crashing together almost painfully. Isak reached up and tangled his hand in the hair on the back of Even’s head, tugging on it as their lips overran each other’s. 

“I fucking love you,” Isak said as Even started kissing down his jaw and neck. He tilted his head back and let each press of his lips consume him, sending the warm, tingly pleasure down to his gut. God, he always wanted him so bad; he started pulling up on his shirt, feeling around his torso and up to his chest before scratching his nails down it, trying to give Even just a fraction of the pleasure he was giving him from the kisses. Isak was getting excited, because he could feel it, this was going to be rough, exciting and maybe he would have to call off his friends because maybe it’d be exhausting, too. 

Even bit down on his neck and started sucking on it, forming one of his infamous hickeys. They did pretty good at putting them in discreet places now that they both had jobs, clients, and patients. But now they were off for a little bit and fuck, for a hickey, they definitely had time. This time Isak did let out an audible moan and then Even pulled back, swiftly lifted off Isak’s shirt and then his own before pushing Isak back onto the table and leaning down, kissing around his chest. He was feeling around for another soft spot, another good place to suck on and drive Isak wild with. So Isak wanted to drive him wild, too. He reached down and started undoing his jeans, slipping his hand down into his boxers once they were undone. 

Isak probably would’ve heard the boys come through the door if they were still cleaning, but being completed consumed by Even drowned out all of his other senses. Hell, it made Even his sixth sense. Like he could feel every single part of Even as if it were his own. Everything external was gone. They might as well have been at the bottom of an abyss. 

“Whoa, guys, lock your doors if you’re going to be fucking on your kitchen table,” Jonas said, jumping the two of them both out of their trance. Even spun around and Isak sat up, grabbing at his shoulder and wanting to shield him. But it was too late, they were seeing the scratches down his chest, and if they followed them all the way down to his waist, probably his boner too. 

“What the fuck are you guys doing here, I told you we needed to clean,” Isak said, grabbing their shirts from beside him and handing Even’s to him. He pulled his on and ran his fingers through his hair, looking at Magnus, Jonas, Mahdi, and Mutta. “I mean, fy faen.” 

“We came to help, we brought booze and we were going to get drunk, clean, then trash the place again with more booze, probably some take out, and loads of FIFA,” Mutta said, holding up a pack of beer in one hand and a grocery bag in the other. “Of course, I don’t know why any of us didn’t think you’d need a heads up. That’s our bad.” 

“Alright, fine, you’re here,” Even groaned. “Thank you for ruining all the actual fun.” 

~  
*  
“You guys literally have lube hidden all over this place,” Jonas said as Even and Isak joined the guys back on the couch. Luckily, after they were so rudely interrupted, Isak made up an excuse about the two of them needing a shower. The guys probably knew exactly what they were doing in there, but Even didn't care. He wanted Isak, and Isak was being grumpy. He would definitely get grumpier if he didn’t get off after what they’d started, so it needed to happen. It wasn't anything near what it was supposed to be, the moment they had had been ruined and they had much less time. But it was definitely fun. So the guys kept drinking and cleaning and the two of them did their thing. 

“You already knew that,” Isak said, definitely a lot more calm and cool now that he'd gotten off. Or at least Even would like to think that he was _so_ good at sex that he could make Grumpy Isak that calm and cool. He leaned back into Even, tilting his head with just the right amount of sass. “Did you have a point?” 

“Well now everyone knows how obsessed you two are with sex,” Jonas said with a shrug, motioning to the guys as he talked. “And not just us because I posted every bottle I found on SnapChat.”

“Pretty sure everyone already knew that, too,” Mutta said, shaking his head and tilting back his beer. 

“Just to clarify, we're not _obsessed_ with sex,” Even said, putting a hand on Isak's knee and squeezing it. “We're obsessed with each other and we like the convenience of not having to leave the room to grab lube every time the mood strikes. Which just so happens to be a lot.” 

“And you're giving it all up to have a baby,” Magnus said, leaning forward and setting his empty bottle on the table, “I'm telling you, you won't be able to have lube lying around anywhere and it'll be difficult finding time to fuck, and then the mood is never striking and that's it…. Not that I'm not excited about this.” 

“I'd say don't listen to him,” Mahdi said putting a hand on Magnus’ chest as if he was holding him back. “Our boy is heartbroken. I think we gotta find him a date.” 

“Hey, if you're finding him a date, find me one,” Mutta said, as if he had been a forgotten puppy out in the rain. “Just because he’s heartbroken doesn’t mean I don’t need someone to settle down with too.” 

“Oh, well, I just figured you were with Chris,” Mahdi said, looking at him with an eyebrow raise, but Mutta just groaned in response tossing his head back and looking at Even, who could only smirk in return. Mutta knew what he thought, Chris was amazing, they would be a perfect couple, they got along so well it had to be destined. They were just being stupid.

“Mutta and Even have had this argument a few times,” Jonas informed Mahdi, who was confused about everything. It made sense that Mahdi thought they were together; they were always hanging out, texting, having a good time together, it literally only made sense. “Mutta and Chris refuse to acknowledge that they _could_ have something, and Even’s love senses are tingling so hard that it makes him angry they don’t do anything about it.” 

“That’s it in a nutshell,” Isak said with a little laugh, looking up at Even and giving him one of his cute little smiles. Even smiled back and pecked his lips. 

“The goal is to not ruin the friendship,” Mutta said with an eyeroll, crossing his arms and sitting back further on the couch. “She agrees so let’s find me and Magnus some women.” 

“What about you, Jonas, you and Sonja still have your weird open relationship deal?” Mahdi asked curiously, Even could tell the multiple times that week that Mahdi had realized how much he missed. The look in his eyes as he realized he had missed vital information. So now he was feeling around before jumping in, trying to get his bearings in the group again after his absence. 

“I don’t know,” Jonas said with a defeated sigh, a response no one was expecting. He was usually so open and happy to talk about their relationship. “I’ve been going back and forth lately. I was thinking of seeing what she thought about being exclusive. But, then I thought she was the perfect woman and I’m definitely not the perfect guy. My future is waaay uncertain right now, but she’s got everything figured out. So then I think maybe we should end it and I should go back to school and start focusing on my future for once.” 

“Whoa,” Isak said first, jumping in as soon as Jonas was finished speaking. “I think you should definitely focus on yourself before anything else. That’s smart, Jonas. I think you have some good ideas starting to form up there and if you ever want to talk about them…” 

“It’s not a therapy session, Isak.” Jonas said with an eye roll, smirking at Isak as he did. “But thanks for the advice. I’ve gotta say, even after that Mats stuff, you guys are still the best couple around. Yousef and Sana are great, too. But you guys are raw. It maybe inspired me to think about my relationship.” 

“Mats stuff?” Mahdi asked. 

“Jonas can tell you later, I don’t even want to talk about it,” Isak said, leaning back and pecking Even’s lips one more time. It was nice to see him not get all worked up over it the way he would a week or two before. Even didn’t know if it was Isak’s calm or if that entire travesty was finally over, but it made him happy that he wasn’t getting caught up in all of that all over again. 

They were moving forward. Finally. 

“Yeah, instead, I’m thinking we should find somewhere to go,” Even said with a smile, squeezing Isak’s thigh and looking at the guys—mostly Mutta and Mags, “If you guys seriously want to give up everything you haaave, then let’s go out and find you two girls to hook up with.”   
*

_Thursday, July 4_

It was their last dinner with Even’s family before they’d be leaving for the States in just six days. It was catered directly to them with mixes of their favorite foods and Martin’s famous mac-n-cheese—which was generally the family’s go-too comfort food. It was a sort of sad, sort of joyous occasion with lots of talk of the past, present and future. 

“Mom seriously, they aren’t even gone yet, you’re not going to have any tears left,” Ana groaned as Josefine broke out into another round of sobbing. They’d been talking about Even and Isak’s wedding. Martin had made a toast about Isak always being a son to him, and that this only made it official to the world. Josefine agreed, but now she was saying that this was a step further, an extra permanent tie to the family and she was just so happy and proud. 

Isak thought a lot about the way she said that, and he could only assume the worries she may have had about Even. Things she probably never brought herself to say or ask out loud. With him being bipolar, she probably worried that he’d never find someone who could handle it enough to marry him, let alone have kids with him. He couldn’t even fathom the relief after she found out they were a couple. The relief each step of their relationship brought her. 

“I’m sorry, everything is just moving so fast, I can’t believe it,” Josefine said, wiping her eyes and looking between Even and Isak, who were both feeling their own range of emotions. It was sad that it would be over a year before they were back in this house, the house that had become a home to Isak when he needed it. That he’d be so far away from the people who took him in when he needed it. But he was just so damn excited to be doing all of this with Even that it was hard for him to cry at the thought. “I mean, I asked about grandchildren at the wedding and you both seemed so far from the point that I thought it’d never be the case. But, here we are. I’m proud.” 

“We’ve definitely grown a lot since the wedding,” Even said, turning his head and looking at Isak. The years had definitely helped them mature. The trials had definitely strengthened their relationship so that they could get to this point—most recent trials included to top it off. “And everything is moving really fast, crazy fast. But I’m excited and so happy to have Isak by my side through it.” 

“So,  
it’s not causing any issues for you, then?” Josefine asked, decisively throwing in the one thing that could’ve ruined the whole dinner. Everyone knew Even hated being asked if he was being triggered by recent events or activities. Isak knew it made him feel like he was under a spotlight for an interrogation. He claimed that the questions were more triggering themselves. 

“Even’s doing great,” Isak said, reaching over and taking Even’s hand. He wanted to help him here, make sure things didn’t go downhill. “After we fixed the medication, there’s been zero problems. Right Baby?” 

“Yeah, of course,” Even said with a slight jaw clench, but he met Isak’s eyes and they shared a little moment, and Isak hoped it gave him the silent support he needed not to snap. “Things are crazy but I’m not. Everything’s been great.”

Ana helped Josefine and Martin clear up from dinner while Even and Isak moved a couple of things into Isak’s old room from the car. They were keeping some stuff there while they were in the states. It definitely beat paying a storage fee for a unit somewhere. But some of it was definitely inappropriate so he hoped that no one would go through any of it while it was there. 

“Have you already advised them to stay out? And to make sure Ana does, too?” Isak asked as he set down the box that he knew contained some of their more x-rated items. Things they didn’t have enough use for to pay shipping costs to send to the States but they still wanted to keep in the long run.

“Yes, Isak, they won’t go through the boxes and their completely angelic view of us will remain intact,” Even said sarcastically, smiling and looking around before reaching for Isak’s hand and pulling him towards the door that had connected their rooms when Isak had lived there. Isak followed, looking around as they entered Even’s somewhat intact childhood bedroom. “Because they _never_ heard us when we lived here, right?” 

“Well, we’ve gotten _a lot_ dirtier since then,” Isak said with an eye roll, letting go of Even’s hand and sitting down on the floor with his back up against the side of the bed. He looked up at Even, who smirked and then got down too, laying completely down on the floor with his head in Isak’s lap as he looked up at him. 

“Can anything really be dirtier than you getting off to my sexual encounters?” Even joked, hitting him with the memories of the position they were in. All the stories Even had told him late at night about his sexual encounters with Mikael and Sonja and whoever. And then of course the literal fucking that he heard that he had gotten off to, too—but that one made him cringe just a little bit more. 

“Ha-ha, thank you for that,” Isak said, jokingly upset with the statement, but running his fingers through Even’s hair. “Back then I preferred a Mikael sex story to a Sonja one, but now that’s completely reversed. I can’t believe I ever thought Sonja was threatening.” 

“I can’t believe you’d find anyone threatening when I love you so much,” Even said quickly, an easy response that flowed right from his mouth. It was always like his love for Isak was automatic, so simple for him to come by, feel, express in a moments notice. Isak was always impressed, and always even more in love than he was a moment before. “But I suppose I get it.”

“This kind of feels like it might lead to a discussion about Mats,” Isak said, biting his lip. He was ready to finally let go of all the Mats stuff, but it wasn’t so easily dropped from everyone’s minds. He was done, it could finally be done, but they couldn’t forget so maybe they just had to talk about it. “So, if you want to talk about it, let’s. I wanna reassure you.”

 

“You’re over him,” Even said, his face straight and serious as he looked up into Isak’s eyes. He reached up and cupped his cheek, running his thumb over the skin there. It was warm and made Isak smile, feeling his trust, finally feeling the possibility of the turn of the situation into past tense. “I can tell. Jonas brought it up and you didn’t hold on. There was nothing in your eyes or posture or anything. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing, not even the guilt I was expecting..” 

“I do still feel guilty,” Isak told him honestly, running his hands gently through his hair, smiling softly and enjoying the familiarity of the moment. “That I ever liked him, that I _kissed_ him.” 

“That was my idea,” Even said, sitting up and them moving to straddle Isak’s lap. He put his hands on either side of Isak’s face and smiled, his thighs squeezing Isak’s hips. “So you shouldn’t feel guilty over it but I get it. The thing is I can tell that the guilt is from the past, not the present. Which sounds lame but I don’t know, I can tell, Isak. I know you and I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” Isak said with a smile, tilting his head back to kiss Even slowly. He wrapped his arms around him tight, rubbing his back gently as their lips moved together. Isak found himself wrapped up in the moment, all the nostalgia, all of the raw emotion between the two of them and all he wanted was to keep kissing him and keep holding him closer and closer and closer until they were one. 

Except there was a knock at the door. 

“Seriously, I knock and you guys are still all over each other,” Ana said, swinging the door open not even a millisecond after the knock, hardly even giving the two of them the moment to catch their bearings. 

“That’s because you didn’t give us any time to respond,” Even groaned and tossed his head back, making Isak feel a little more than he should have in that moment. “We were having a moment, Ana. We’ll be right out, go.” 

“Yeah I’ll just go tell Mom and Dad that you two are too busy fucking to spend the little time you have left with them,” Ana said, defiantly crossing her arms and leaning against the doorway. There was no way they were going to get anymore time alone until they went home that night, But they both just sat there and looked at her as if it were a standoff. 

“Fy faen, fine,” Even finally groaned again, getting up and brushing himself off, but Isak was going to have to take more than a second to brush off. And Even knew, so he licked his lips and walked towards the door, putting a hand on Ana’s shoulder and leading her out. “But I’m making sure the conversation stays focused on you.”

 

_Saturday, July 6_

Even and Isak's going away party was set to be far less extravagant than Isak's birthday. It was small, only for their closest friends and their significant others and it was intimate, with lots of hugs and even a few presents—some that they would probably have to pack away at Even's parents house before they left, but they were mostly heartfelt and meaningful. 

Isak had been happy at all the familiar faces at his birthday, but this was what he wanted—this time they were missing a few key people but it was the thought that counted, they’d make sure to FaceTime Eva, Noora, and Eskild at some point. It was a kind of togetherness Isak could draw strength from, a feeling he'd hold onto just in case for future proposes. His life was so full of love and a much younger, pubescent Isak would never believe it to be possible.

“Look, you made him cry,” Magnus said with a laugh, patting Isak’s back and shaking his head when he saw what was in his hands. “Jesus, it’s just a parenting book, are you serious? I gave you those Nas records on vinyl, you know how long they took to find? Vinyl has gone in and out of style like four times at this point and those are _originals,_ man.”

“Maybe, but I’m Sana and I’m amazing,” Sana said with a smirk, knowing very well that her simple parenting book hadn’t been what sent him over the edge. She probably didn’t know that the short little note inside was what pushed him, either. With a small _you’ve totally got this!_ in Sana’s handwriting—it even had a heart next to it, which was a lot of emotion to get from Sana—he had an official overflow of love and happiness and he just couldn’t help the tears that came to his eyes. 

“Oh shut up, I’m just really happy to have everyone here and that I’ve got all of you and that’s all I’m going to say,” Isak said, shaking his head and wiping his eyes when he was done, he wouldn’t be able to say anymore without sobbing. He couldn’t thank his friends for being so supportive of him and Even, for being there for the two of them when they needed it, for being ready to be there in the next steps of their life. With promises of pictures, letters, messages and basically every other minuscule form of communication, he felt like he could trust these people would be around for a while. 

“Seriously, guys, thank you so much,” Even said, wiping away some of his own tears and setting down whatever it was that Sana gave him. He closed the small distance to Isak and helped wipe his eyes with a smile, leaning down and pecking him on the lips. “How about we stop all the sappy stuff and start actually partying.” 

“Great idea, but first,” Chris said, speaking up and projecting her voice to make sure everyone could hear her loud and clear. She tapped on her wine glass with her fingernail and cleared her throat. “I have a speech. About Even and Isak and all of you amazing people.” 

“The floor is yours,” Even said with a smile, taking Isak’s hips and backing the two of them up into the crowd of their friends so that Chris could have front and center. The room went quiet with anticipation, and with Chris a speech could range anywhere from so heartfelt that the entire room was in tears or so lewd and ridiculous that it couldn’t actually be considered a speech. Either way, they were prepared and happy.

“Alright, well let me start with saying how amazing it has been seeing everyone these past couple of weeks,” Chris said, clearing her throat and then going on. “Of course, it takes big events to bring everyone out of the woodwork, but when all of you beautiful people come around, I’m reminded of some really amazing times. We’re growing up, growing apart, starting families and living lives of like, grown ass adults. Or, most of us anyway. But we still come around. We still love each other, support each other, and make sure to be around for the big things. And today is pretty big. 

“Today we’re celebrating Even and Isak, which, yes, we’ve done before. Being so dedicated to each other, they always make sure there’s some sort of party to commemorate the other’s achievements, promotions, birthdays, whatever. And, let’s face it, we love celebrating them. There’s something about the love that they fucking radiate. They’re intoxicating and so in love that they don’t care who’s watching so everyone gets to be witness of the absolute gorgeousness that is.” 

“Gets to? Chris, we talked about this,” Even teased, tilting his head at her knowingly. The two of them liked to joke about the crush Chris used to have on Isak. About her stealing him, kidnapping him, watching them get it on, basically any perversion possible around the subject had been thought of at that point. 

“Okay, fine, you shove your love down our throat and we’re forced to enjoy it, and some of us do more than others,” Chris said with a smile and a little eye roll, waving her hand at Even. “Nonetheless, we do enjoy it. And, honestly we all knew you’d end up here, sometimes I even wonder how I could’ve ever thought you were platonic to begin with. You were fooling no one and everyone, including yourselves. You’re perfect together and you’re perfect candidates to start a family because of all the love you have to give. Not as perfect as Sana and Yousef, whose children will no doubt be prodigies but I won’t get into that. Anyway, I’m so happy and excited for you guys and no doubt we’ll be having a party like this when you guys get back. For more celebrations and togetherness. Oh and also to dub me Godmother because duh.” 

“An obvious choice,” Even said with smirk, side-eyeing Isak before giving him a squeeze and letting him go so he could give Chris a hug. “Thank you so much. Thank you all. For celebrating us and being with us through it all.”

“Alright, ya big saps,” Isak said, having been the first to cry that day, he decided now that he’d be cool and calm, “Before everyone is drowning in their own tears. Or we’re swimming in a pool of them, we should start drinking.” 

The party kicked off after that with ease—their friends still _mostly_ knowing how to party. Even though the music was probably a little outdated, some of them couldn’t actually drink because they had to drive and be places for their kids in the morning, and some were just plain exhausted from work and life, they still had a good time. Especially Isak, and Even seemed to be having a good time, too. It was even less often that Even, Yousef, Mutta, Adam, and Elias were in the same place, so Isak had made sure it’d happen. He even invited Mikael against his better judgement, but he didn’t show up. 

The only other person who was invited and didn’t show was Mats. And Isak was just about to give up on the idea that he’d show, that their friendship could be repaired when there was a cheer towards the door. When he heard it, he looked up, his heart jumping with hope for the last shreds of a friendship of the only guy he’d met in his “adult” life that took the time to get to know him and be his friend. He looked at Mats and then looked at Even, who was also looking at Mats. 

“We should go over there,” Isak said, biting his lip and taking Even’s hand off his hip to lace their fingers together as they made their way towards the commotion Mats had made by entering the room. He was smiling and talking to Jonas and Chris, making Isak feel a little better about everything. When they got to him, Isak stopped himself from giving him a hug and just smiled and held Even’s hand tighter instead. “Mats, hey, you made it.” 

“I did,” He said and smiled small, looking at Isak and then at Even. “I thought it was important that I come.” 

“Hey Chris, let’s go get refills,” Jonas said, motioning to his beer and so obviously trying to leave the three of them alone. Jonas was being the best and worst friend possible at that moment because it was probably for the best, but Isak’s stomach knotted nervously on and off for a few moments as the two of them fled the scene. 

“Important as in your completely platonic friend, Isak, is going to be going away for awhile and saying a proper goodbye is only the polite thing to do, or..” Even paused for a second, obviously thinking about if he should say what he did next. “Or important because the guy you like, Isak, is going to be going away with his husband to start a family and this is your last window of hope?” 

“Even!” 

“Actually, important because this is probably the last you’ll ever see me,” Mats said, taking a step back and looking down at the ground. It went quiet for a few moments, and the words Isak wanted to ask were stuck in his throat, so Mats went on uninterrupted, “because after I finish up next year, I’m moving. Out of Oslo. I have a cousin out in Bergen and I’ll probably stay with him while I settle in, but yeah, that’s the plan.” 

“What? Why though? You’ll most definitely get hired by the hospital out here or there are so many other options!… And Bergen? Come on.” Isak said, a ball forming in his throat. This was it, the final nail in the coffin. All hope of friendship seemingly gone. 

“No, Isak, I need a change,” Mats said, shaking his head and shoving his hands in his pockets. “You made me realize that I still have a lot to learn about myself. Somehow, that’s possible, even in our line of business. Here, I’m stagnant. I’m going to be stagnant. I’m going to watch you two raise a kid and I’m going to stand still. I want to move forward. Experience something else.” 

“Understood,” Isak said, swallowing hard and trying not to point out the bigger statement. He was the reason. Mats was leaving and it was Isak’s fault. Even wrapped an arm around Isak and squeezed him, reaching his other hand out to offer it to Mats. A handshake, still using power moves. 

“Well, we wish you the best of luck, man,” Even said as they shook hands, giving Mats a genuine smile—because he was just so glad to hear he was leaving—and then stepping back when he pulled away. “You’re a good man, you’ll figure it out, I’m sure.” 

“I, uh,” Isak sniffled a little and turned to Even biting his lip and looking him in the eye. He put his hands on his arms and gave them a light squeeze, hoping that he’d understand that Isak needed a moment. “Can you just give us a sec? I’ll find you right after.” 

“Oh, yeah, yeah, of course, yeah,” Even nodded a little rapidly, everything about his mannerisms saying that maybe he really was afraid that Mats was making that last ditch effort to win Isak. “Yeah, Baby, I’ll get us more to drink and uhh, probably sit with Sana and Yousef. Yeah, find me there. I’ll...leave you two. Alright.” 

“I love you so much,” Isak told him, kissing him gently and then watching him walk away before turning to Mats, who was standing there, looking lost with big, sad eyes. For whatever reason, he was really into Isak, and watching Even and him be in love was apparently very painful. “I understand your decision, and obviously I can’t stop you from going and I wouldn’t try. Because you know what you need. It just sucks because I ruined a really good friendship by telling you something you never needed to hear. So, whatever, you say that it’s helped you find yourself, but you would’ve been able to do that without that knowledge. And then who knows.” 

“I don’t think where, when, or how I came to all of this would have changed anything,” Mats said, smiling and reaching up, his hand resting on Isak’s cheek, stroking it with his thumb. “There’s a connection. And I need to break it, to start new.” 

Isak backed up, finding himself against the wall in what felt like a serious deja vu moment. Up against the wall at a party, a friend telling him about a connection, all while panicking with fear over whether or not Even was seeing this and if he was going to jump in. So, Isak tried to take control. Too many times he’d let others take over the situation. Everything with Mats was unfortunate. But, suddenly his guilt vanished. Was it _really_ his fault Mats couldn’t get over him? He was married, he was planning a future with children and Mats would rather destroy that than not get what he wanted. And who even knew if Isak was what he really wanted. Mats didn’t even really know.

He couldn’t stop himself from suddenly smacking away Mats’ hand and pushing him back. 

“Okay, man, do what you want to,” Isak said, cold and monotonous, sidestepping away and looking down on the ground. “I wish you luck in Bergen. Now I’m going to get back to my going away party because me and my _husband_ are going to be leaving the country to have a _child_ and _our friends_ would like to celebrate that.” 

He didn’t give Mats time to respond, he really didn’t want to hear what he’d want to say. Mats probably wouldn’t stay but Isak wasn’t going to worry about it. He just walked back to Even, keeping his cool the best he could and drowning the rest of the night in booze. 

 

_Wednesday, July 10_  
*  
“I can’t believe my Baby Boy is going to be gone for so long,” Josefine whaled as the family dropped them off at the airport. The had said goodbye to Terje, Lisa, and Milo the night before, made a pit stop at Marianne’s that morning for their final goodbye, and finally they were on their last set. The last set of happy-sad tears, the last set of goodbyes until their lives were changing forever. “My God I’m going to miss that handsome face so much.”

“Don’t worry, Isak, I’ll miss you more,” Ana said, patting Isak’s back while Josefine pinched Even’s cheeks until he was actually in pain over it. “You know what Mom’s worried about.” 

“Ana, I promised them,” Josefine started to scold through her tears. 

“It’s okay, Mom,” Even said, putting his hands on her shoulders and looking at her. He wasn’t sure she’d ever believe him when it came to stuff about his bipolar disorder. And over the years, he understood more and more. It made sense that she got so worried, especially with how low Even would get on the tale end of an episode. He’d be worried too if his kid sometimes felt like he wanted to die so bad that if he moved, he might actually figure out something to go through with it. “After that last hiccup, things have been good, we’re going to do a much better job at monitoring the meds, especially with everything going on. And yes, I’m freaking out, worried, excited, and so many other things that I was afraid to feel before because I didn’t know what they meant, but I have the meds. And I have Isak, and I feel safe. Like I’m in the control. These emotions don’t have control.”

“That’s so good to hear,” Josefine said, putting a hand back on Even’s cheek and starting to sob all over again. “And I’m so glad it’s Isak, I don’t think I would trust it if it was anyone else. I feel like he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you.” 

“I wouldn’t ever,” Isak said, looking at the time and then trying to disguise the gesture with running his hand through his hair. Even knew that Isak worried because security was going to be absolute hell and they needed to get going. He obviously didn’t want to rush the goodbyes though, he just gave Even a smile and then looked at his parents. “He’s definitely in good hands.”

_Capable, strong, sexy hands,_ Even thought. Not that it was exactly the time to be thinking that, but he couldn’t help it. Not when Isak was being so sweet even though he was a ball of nerves underneath. He just wanted to relax him. 

“Okay, boys, we really can’t have you missing your flight, come on,” Martin said, being the one to ruin the moment, the one to calm Isak’s nerves with those easy words. He set down his bags happily and then there was a round of hugs and so many tears—even from Ana before the two of them were off on their way to security. 

“And still an _hour_ early to hour gate,” Even teased as he and Isak found seats near their gate. They sat down, setting their carry-ons in front of them. Even wrapped an arm around Isak’s shoulders, squeezing him comfortingly, “Why are you still so wound up? Here, come here.” 

“Sorry, ahh,” Isak said as Even turned him in his seat and started massaging his shoulders. “I’m less stressed now that we’ve made it to the gate. Ohh, right there.. Sorry, I’m just.. A little nervous about the flight, don’t know why. Ahhh. Developing irrational fears, I guess.” 

“And that leads you to thinking that you’re becoming your Mom,” Even said, connecting those dots immediately. When he talked to Isak, he wondered why _he_ wasn’t the therapist in the family. “Which you’re not. I happen to know, Isak, that this will be the longest nonstop flight you’ve ever been on. And I know how your brain draws conclusions so it probably gets to the point that the longer we’re in the air, the bigger possibility there is for something to go wrong. Which would make this a pretty rational fear. But I’m still here to reassure you, everything is going to be fine.” 

Originally, they booked cheap flight with a layover in London, but apparently Terje had been watching for similar flights on that day and had them switched over to a nonstop when it became available. That was probably what was _really_ upsetting Isak but Even was definitely not about to bring up Terje in any way shape or form. That’d just put Isak more on edge. And Even needed to keep him calm. 

They were set to depart at 15:15, and arrive in California at 18:20 on the same day, though it was somewhere around an eleven hour flight, a little less maybe but time zones could be confusing and Even had like zero part in the booking process. He just knew that he probably wouldn’t be able to sleep on the plane but was going to be absolutely exhausted when they landed. They had a whole day planned for sleep. They weren’t even going to their apartment, just staying in a nearby hotel so that they didn’t even have to make the bed or do any unpacking. They could order food, watch TV, shower, cuddle and then sleep—hopefully at a reasonably late hour but probably not. 

“You know me so much better than I know myself,” Isak said with a happy sigh, leaning back against Even’s hands and tilting his head to look at him. “I love you so much. And I am so ready for this.”   
*

_Thursday, July 11_

Even and Isak were up bright and early that morning, much too bright and much too early because they had fallen asleep way too early. And while Isak could've slept until check out, Even couldn't ever sleep more than eight hours if he wasn't depressed. So he was up around 5 in the morning, let Isak sleep for a couple more hours, then went out around 7 and got them some coffee and bagels. 

Which meant Isak was up around 7:30, and they were checking out around 8 to head over to their new apartment. It was furnished for them so that they didn't need to worry about furniture for the most part, but they shipped out a few things, bought a bed and had it shipped there, and planned to go to Ikea once they were settled in and knew everything that they needed. 

Around 9:30, they met their landlord, who had held their boxes for them. His name was Chad English, he was somewhere in his 30s with a daughter in middle School who was apparently the reason he was a landlord. He used the money for her school funds. He'd explained himself and told them he'd always be around to help if they needed while they moved the boxes inside then he left them with his business card and a pearly white smile. 

“Guess it's time to really check out the place? Maybe break it in?” Even asked with a little smirk once the door was closed and locked. There was a lot they had to do, but Isak supposed they had time. He just didn't think Even would think so. 

When they walked into the apartment, they were immediately in the kitchen. To the left there were wooden counters with white marble countertops lined up to a fridge in the corner with an island directly across from it. On the right was a small kitchen table with cute wooden chairs with red cushions on them stood next to a bay window. Straight across from the front door was a big wooden archway. From the pictures of the place, he knew that through that archway would lead to the living room, and directly to the left would be the hallway leading to the bathroom and the two bedrooms. 

“I'm assuming you've already drawn a floor plan of what you want everything to look like?” Isak asked, raising an eyebrow and resting his forearms and palms on Even's chest. They'd seen pictures of the place, of the furniture and he _knew_ Even loved setting up home. And he had a pretty good eye for interior design so he'd thought he'd want to jump into making the place their home. Of course “breaking it in” could definitely play a big factor in that. 

“I have but while doing that I also thought up a few good places to have sex, soooooo….” 

Throughout the apartment, there were obvious places they could start for sex. There was the island in the kitchen, the table, the couch, bed, shower. But they really needed the perfect location to break it in. They needed to be able to be sweet and sensual but also as animalistic as they felt. But after twenty minutes of bouncing ideas, they were almost _over_ thinking it, so Isak pulled Even into the master bedroom—their bedroom—and pushed him against the wall, hands on his shoulders.

“That’s it, I don’t even care where it is, I want you,” Isak told him, letting Even grab his hips while they looked into each other’s eyes hungrily. 

“We'll have fucked in every corner of this apartment by Saturday anyway,” Even told him before crashing their lips together there against the wall.

“This is a good place to start,” Isak mumbled against his lips and as Even held his hips harder and started to lift him. Isak assisted by jumping up and wrapping his legs around Even's waist. He always loved when the height difference was reversed like that, making him have to lean down to press against Even's lips. Consequently making Even tilt his head back as they kissed hungrily while Even carried him across the room. It only lasted a few moments though, then Even was throwing him down on the still plastic-covered mattress they'd ordered and the landlord moved in for them.

“Definitely, now take off your clothes,” Isak grumbled hungrily, reaching up and pulling up on his shirt to reveal his abs and chest. Isak felt around the area for a second before Even was sitting up, straddling him. Even looked at him, eyes gleaming, pupils dilated with hunger as he pulled off his shirt and leaned down to do the same for Isak. Once they were both shirtless, Even dove down and started devouring Isak's collar bones, shoulders and chest. Isak relished in his lips and the feelings they sent down his body. They were in a new place, starting a new chapter in a completely foreign land so far from everyone they knew besides each other and everything they were feeling was intensified by the situation.

They'd been too tired from the flight to do anything yet, so this would be the first time they fucked in the States and Isak suddenly realized that they had been looking for the perfect place but that in itself made it perfect. He was here. With Even. On a journey. And it may have sounded shallow or greedy or like every man ever, but he really wanted to start it with a good fuck. And Even did too, apparently, pulling out a little packet of lube from his jeans and throwing it onto the bed before pulling back and sitting up on his knees to start to remove his jeans. 

“Don't worry, I definitely packed more in one of the boxes and I also may have ordered some stuff on Amazon due in a day or two,” Even said with a playful smirk followed by a slightly sinister laugh, as if he'd had so many plans up is sleeve just dedicated to fucking, and God, it made Isak so excited. He sat up to help Even with his jeans, sliding his hands from his hips to his ass and slowly sliding them down to pull his boxers and pants with them. He pulled them down until Even was free and Isak could lean in and kiss his hips and down his shaft. 

“I'm so ready for that,” Isak told him, looking up at him before kissing his tip and slowly licking around it. He looked up at Even through his eyelashes as he took him in his mouth, watching the bliss take over Even's face. A slack jaw, lidded eyes and an almost undetectable smile.

“I figure we have time for us to be just us in our bubble...ahhh, before we have to make frie-ends,” Even said, obviously trying to finish the thought before he forgot it so Isak went slow, though he couldn't actually stop. Not with Even already in his mouth. “Like when we start work. But until then…” 

Isak used the words as a cue, diving himself right in she letting Even fill his mouth and slide down his throat. Taking his eyes off Even's reactions and focusing on him, his pleasure. His hands were in Isak's hair, holding tighter the more Isak moved, his body arching back as Isak began to bob his head. His hands gripping his ass and digging his nails in.

“I fucking love you,” Even groaned after a few moments and then slowly pulled him off his dick by his hair. “And I know you're loving yourself right now, but I'd love to fuck you.” 

“I love your dick,” Isak told him as Even pushed him back and started taking off his pants. Isak scrambled to help him, lifting his hips and helping push them down, knowing the sex wouldn't be as immediate as he was craving, but the taste was so fresh in his mouth, he'd settle for the skin on skin contact that was to come. “In my mouth, in my ass, in my hands… Against my body.” 

He reached out and pulled Even down into him, the two of their bodies colliding as their lips met once more. They kissed hungrily, biting and sucking on each other's lips, making them puffy and sore while their lowers grinded and provided a gentle relief throughout Isak's body. 

“I love hearing the places you love my dick,” Even told him, grabbing the little packet of lube and getting some on his fingers before moving between Isak's legs, which he spread happily for him. He shook with anticipation while Even's fingers found his hole, pressing inside him so easily. He slowly pumped them and wiggled them, building Isak up little by little and gently adding a third to make sure it was stretched nicely. 

“Ah, fuck, baby,” Isak groaned, pressing himself into Even's fingers and taking his own turn at arching his back. “L-love your fingers too.. but…” 

“But my Baby wants more,” Even purred, reaching up with his free hand and caressing his cheek. He pumped his fingers slower but harder, pushing deeper with each new pump to hit those nerves perfectly. Making Isak howl, tilting his head back. “So Baby gets more.” 

Isak called out again and Even removed his fingers, getting the rest of the lube and slathering it over his dick. Isak tried to grip onto the plastic underneath him but it kept slipping. So he used his forearms to anchor himself as he tilted his hips up to let Even in. He was so eager, so ready to be connected with Even, his entire body filling with a painful need for it. One that would only be relieved by him. Not by his dick in his mouth, or his fingers in his ass, but by _him_. 

Even pressed inside him abruptly, surprising him, stretching him the rest of the way almost too fast. He yelped, reaching back with one hand and pressing a palm to the headboard and reaching out with the other to grab on to Even’s hip. Even settled deep and reached out, gently massaging his hands over Isak’s chest. Isak dizzily responded to the touch, his body tingling and trembling as he spun, slowly being grounded from the gentle touch. 

“Isak, hey Baby, I asked if you’re okay,” Even said, Isak suddenly realizing that he had basically blacked out from that initial plunge, or had at least started to, tunnel vision, tunnel hearing and now he was coming back to with a ringing in his ears. Even’s hands guiding him back, gentle all over his shoulders and chest as he sat inside him, the two of them throbbing together. “Are you okay, Baby?” 

“Yeah, fuck Baby, sorry,” Isak breathed, bringing himself back into the moment, slowly moving his lips to show he was used to the feeling, that the movement they both so badly needed was okay. Even pressed a palm to his back and slowly started moving his hips, his other hand running down his chest, finger circling his belly button before it made its way down to his upper right thigh. Isak was already so light in his body with the brief blackout that every movement felt like an out-of-body experience. And it was so light, feathery and fucking _intoxicating_. Moans slipped out of him left and right, he couldn’t even help himself, especially when Even’s hand wrapped around the base of his erection. 

“You feel so good,” Even moaned, looking down and slowly pumping his erection, throwing Isak further and further into an inebriated state of bliss slightly above his body. Even leaned down further, his hand on Isak’s arched back sliding around and up his chest, to his shoulders until his hand gently tightened around Isak’s neck. “I’m so fucking happy to be here with you.” 

Isak never minded a little light choking, the slight pressure on his neck being just threatening enough to feel how much control Even really had. Which was probably a little fucked up, but Isak loved. A little cum leaked from his dick as Even tightened and pressed his lips to Isak’s again. The two of them moved together, the pressure on Isak’s neck coming and going while Isak scraped his nails anywhere he could on Even.Their thrusts had grown jagged, their bodies gliding and sliding. All of it eventually leading up to a very messy climax, which made them so lucky for the plastic on the bed. At least they weren’t going to have to do laundry already. 

“Fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuck,” Isak called out as he came, coming so much that it was all over Even, all over himself, and splattered out on the plastic on the sides of him. And Even came shortly after, biting onto Isak’s shoulder and moaning into it until he finally stopped and the two of them lay there completely still, covered in cum. 

“Fuck is right,” Even said as he slowly pulled away and moved to lay beside him instead. He propped his head up on his hand looking at Isak, who felt completely wrecked from the whole thing. But he was so damn satisfied. “I guess we should shower, remove the plastic… make the bed, unpack other stuff...or find our next location?” 

“Even,” Isak groaned, slowly moving over onto his stomach, feeling like he was about to pass out. “Shower maybe, but I..fuck, sorry, I’m wrecked. You’re way too good at that, I probably shouldn’t say anything because you’ll get cocky but I almost blacked out. And I need…” 

“Let me draw you a bath, and don’t worry, I’ll clean it first just in case,” Even said, leaning over and kissing a few different places on his face before landing on the side of his lips where he lay. “Making the bed and unpacking can certainly wait...I’ll order some food too. Maybe you need a little bit of sustenance.” 

“Sounds like a good idea,” Isak said moving to rest his head on his arms where he lay on his stomach. “If you need me before that, I’ll be here. Passed out in my own cum with with all my grace and dignity.” 

 

_Wednesday, July 17_

“Even and Isak Bech Næsheim?” A woman in a white lab coat with a clipboard in hand called from the door of waiting room. She smiled when the boys stood up hand in hand and ushered them through the door. “Welcome. We are so happy to have you here considering us.” 

“Really there's no consideration needed,” Even said charismatically, smiling wide as the medical assistant led them down the hallway. He was excited, happy to be there, not showing a single strand of nerves. “My husband here is the king of research and so we've already done all of that. We want to do this and we want to do this with you guys.” 

“I'll relay that information onto Dr. Carter for you,” the assistant said happily, leading them into a room that wasn't much unlike a therapist’s office. There was a desk, different types of furniture, potted plants and tasteful scenic prints on the walls. Colors all neutral with a bit of a jade green theme. “Sit anywhere, she's just grabbing your application and file and reviewing it and she'll be right in.” 

“Weird that they leave us in someone's office alone,” Isak said as the door shut and Even took his seat in one of the chairs across from the desk. Isak walked around instead, his nerves telling him he wasn't quite ready to sit. He bit his lip and walked over to the desk, “Unless…” 

“Isak, what are you doing?” Even asked in a scolding voice as Isak pulled open a drawer. It was empty, though, so he pulled out another one. “Isak, stop that. You'll get us kicked out.” 

“It's empty,” Isak said, shutting the drawer them checking the last one. Empty too. He looked at the calendar on the desk. No notes or appointments. It wasn't someone's office, just a consultation room with that professional feel. He walked back around and leaned against the front of it, his brain thinking the worst for no reason. “You don't think they'd make us schedule an appointment just to turn us down, right?” 

“They don't have a reason to, so no,” Even said, standing up and taking Isak's shoulders. He gave them a squeeze and a smile, backing up and sitting back down but pulling Isak into his lap this time. “Calm down Baby, I know it's a big day, but just breathe. We got this.” 

“You're right, you're right,” Isak said, sighing and rubbing his face before wrapping his arms around Even's neck. “Sorry, I've probably been really irritating lately. I don't know why I'm so anxious but then I get more anxious because I don't want you to think I'm anxious because I'm not all in with this. I am. And I would be devastated if they turned us down.” 

“Isak, Isak, shh,” Even said, gently raking a few fingers through Isak’s hair. “I’m not worried about the pretext of the nerves. Actually, I’m worried about asking about the anxiety medication. Because it makes me a pretty big hypocrite, and yet I’m worried it may get in the way of you enjoying this experience. So I guess I also like, _officially_ understand.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ve already got a list of doctors to make appointments with while we’re here,” Isak said, moving a hand to Even’s cheek and smiling. He didn’t mind the question, it kind of grounded him. Obviously it was the actual anxiety and could probably be helped with a larger dosage of his medication or maybe even something new and some therapy and it frustrated the hell out of him that his own brain hadn’t made the conclusion without thinking he was going crazy. But it was good to finally wrap his brain around the conclusion. “Since I’m pretty new on the medication, big changes and adjustments or even that jetlag could mess it because my body still isn’t completely used to it. So, I’ll make an appointment. But, until then, you’ll just have to calm me down, can you do that?” 

“Of course I can,” Even smiled, his forehead meeting Isak’s, the two of them just about to kiss as the Doctor entered the room. 

“Hello, I’m Dr. Carter—” 

“Sorry,” Isak said, immediately jetting out of Even’s lap. He fixed his hair and reached out offering his hand for a handshake. “We were just talking which led to a moment. Sorry, I’m Isak Bech Næsheim and this is my husband, Even.” He was also nervous because he knew his English had an accent, and he knew that it wasn’t always a hundred percent accurate.So he took a deep breath and tried to summon some of Even’s confidence. 

“It’s quite alright, Isak,” Dr. Carter said, shaking his hand and then Even’s, who was also suddenly at his side. “It’s good to see especially because of the reason you’re here. Knowing the baby you’re looking to bring into the world will be born into love is always a good thing. So, please, make yourselves comfortable. You guys are from Oslo...Ahh, I love Norway. You live their your whole lives?” 

“Yes, born and raised,” Even said as the two of them sat in the chairs next to each other and Dr. Carter took the seat behind the desk. He put a hand on Isak’s leg thigh and let it rest there, Isak putting his own hand over top of it. “But this is cheaper out here. Plus, we’ve done a little traveling, but we’ve never made it out here. So it’s like the last hurrah.. At least probably for a few years.” 

“It’s definitely cheaper out here because a lot more places will provide you this kind of service,” Dr. Carter explained with a smile, seeming to be continuously excited about this entire experience. At least she was happy with her job. “So we thank you for choosing us and we promise to make this entire experience as amazing as the miracle of life should be. There are some things we need to go over today before we can really get started, a few personality questions, things you may be looking for in a surrogate, we’ll talk about the profiles you were sent, and then I would say we’d have you set up with a date for a potential surrogate on, say Saturday. You spend some time with her, see if she’s the one, if she is then we move forward, if she’s not, we set you up with another until you’ve found your perfect match. We find it’s much more sufficient getting to know them before you actually choose them. Profiles aren’t always sufficient. Anyway, once you think you’ve found your fit, we schedule the semen collection and whatever other appointments are called for depending on the routes you’re looking to take.”

“That sounds great,” Isak said with a smile, glad that she seemed to be talking a little slower than most of the people they’d encountered so far. He was feeling pretty good about their choice in this place. Dr. Carter was probably someone he’d place on the too-happy—and honestly too happy can be almost creepy—list, but she seemed a little more quirky than anything else. And he thought quirky while matching them up with a surrogate was probably perfect. 

“And right before we jump into all of that, my only question is whether or not you want the surrogate and the egg donor to be the same person?” Dr. Carter asked, which was probably the most perfect question she could have asked. They’d talked about it, they’d thought about it and the costs, and they were almost at a decision, but not quite yet. 

“Do you have a suggestion about that, actually? We’ve been debating…” Isak bit his lip, sitting back and looking at Even for a moment then back at Dr. Carter. 

“Well, I can assure you that through our agency you are one hundred percent covered either way,” Dr. Carter told them. “Our surrogates sign legal forms. They know what they’re signing up for. They’re only here to help others. Not themselves. We try to make sure of it. But the forms they have to sign cover our asses anyway so that you are always protected.” 

“And you think the experience in both cases is the same?” Isak tried to pry further, knowing that she probably wasn’t allowed to try to persuade them either way, but if there was a down side to one of them, he needed to know. 

“For the most part, it can be,” Dr. Carter said with a nod, still smiling. “I promise you that both choices are the right one. But I can give you some pamphlets if you want to do some research on the subject matter.” 

“Isak’s already got pamphlets, trust me,” Even said, squeezing Isak’s thigh and giving him a teasing smirk. “We know the pros and cons, we’ve already did the research, so if you say we’re fine either way then they may as well be the same person. Right Isak?” 

“Yes,” Isak said, a little nervous and his heart jumping at the decision, but okay, it was made. Moving on, he supposed. “But we want to mix our sperm so that either one of us could be the biological father. Right Even?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Even said, looking at him then at Dr. Carter, “Though I pray his sperm are faster because look at that damn beautiful face.” 

 

_Saturday, July 20_  
*  
Friday evening, Dr. Carter emailed over the profile of the surrogate they’d be meeting. She must’ve been a new addition to the list because Even didn’t recognize her name or face, but from what he could tell from the profile, she was going to be a good fit. Her name was Colette Butler, she had light brown, wavy hair, green eyes like Isak’s. From her likes and dislikes, she seemed to be a good person and somewhat of an overachiever, but it did seem that a lot of the surrogate profiles could be braggy like that. It would definitely be good to clarify in person.

The agency scheduled them for a lunch date and they were able to pick anywhere at all, so they made Colette pick since they didn’t know the area well enough. So, they were in their uber on the way over to the cafe, and they’d have to report back to the agency on Monday. He could tell Isak was feeling nervous so he wrapped his arm tight around him. 

“She’s probably going to be amazing, and if she’s not then there are plenty of other fish in the sea,” Even said with a little laugh, thinking about this whole “dating” thing for the surrogates. They could be surrogate players if they wanted to… 

“I just hope she likes me,” Isak said, swallowing hard and loud enough for Even to hear before resting his head on his shoulder. “I’m afraid I’ll like her but she won’t like me—she’ll like you though—but since she doesn’t like me then she won’t do it. The end, on to the next.” 

“You’re ending it before it’s started,” Even told him, laughing a little and shaking his head. “But if she doesn’t like either of us then she’s not the perfect surrogate so moving onto the next is the most logical fit. Even if you do like her, if she doesn’t like you then I won’t like her. Not a fit. Simple.” 

“When did you become the rational one?” Isak asked, even though being rational was a role they tended to switch on and off between the two of them. With Isak’s anxiety on high, though Even could see how he was considered the rational one here. It felt good when it was on him, anyway. He was being rational, he was totally in control of himself and it was kind of beautiful after all the time he struggled with it in the past. 

“Obviously when I decided to be the most amazing husband and father a man could ever possibly be,” Even said, feeling confident and happy and just so ready to meet Colette. It was probably the best mood he could meet her in, and he knew Isak would vibe off it so it was going to amazing as long as she was amazing. “Honestly, Baby, I just feel really good about this.” 

“Time for me to get on your level,” Isak said as the uber driver pulled up to the place Colette had suggested. They were fifteen minutes early, but that was probably perfect. They could scope out the place, find a table and probably order some coffee. They unbuckled their seatbelts and Isak did exactly what Even was planning to do, he patted the driver on the shoulder, and thanked him before the two of them got out of the car. 

“Oh, you are so ready,” Even said, closing the car door and then slapping Isak on the ass. “We’ve got this, Beautiful.”

“Hands off my ass, we’re in public,” Isak warned in a joking tone and took Even’s hand in his own, smiling as he led them into the cafe. It was much bigger inside than it looked outside, a nice wooden charm in the place with pictures of the changing seasons. Cute, quaint. 

“Table for two?” The host asked as they approached him, pulling out a couple of menus and smiling welcomingly at them. 

“A third will be joining us shortly,” Even corrected with a smile of his own. 

“Alright, right this way,” The Host said, grabbing one more menu and leading them to their seats. He set the menus down at table for four, setting one menu at the middle of one side of the table. “Your waiter will be right with you, but I think she’s getting off soon, so I apologize in advance for the the change in staff during your meal.” 

“That’s alright, thank you,” Isak said, pulling out a seat for Even and taking a seat beside him. “I’ll text Colette and tell her that we’re here so she doesn’t try to grab a table, too.” 

“Good idea,” Even smiled and leaned over resting his head on Isak’s shoulder as he pulled out his phone, he watched him as he pulled up the contact and then looked forward. “Oh, looks like you don’t have to.” 

As their waitress walked towards them, Even recognized her right away from her picture on her profile. Apparently Colette picked the cafe out of convenience rather than it being her favorite. Was her occupation on her profile? He was pretty sure it said she was in school. So maybe it was just a job on the side. 

“Hi I’m, Co— oh, Even and Isak, right?” Her eyes widened and her demeanor changed as soon as she recognized them. She went from semi-professional waitress to prim, proper, with a full white smile to impress. She was very pretty with lightly tanned skin, wavy hair that was pulled back in a high ponytail, dressed in her all-black uniform. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to be early, I was going to change, do my makeup, and..well, that doesn’t matter, hi! Let me see if I can get my boss to let me off early. Should I come back with some coffee?”

“Coffee would be great, and take your time if you need to get more comfortable,” Isak said with a smile letting her walk away before turning to Even and looking at him with wide eyes. “Did you see the way she crinkled her nose? You and Ana do the same exact thing. And her eyes are kind of shape like yours. Oh my god, do you think they pick these girls to look more like us?” 

“I was just thinking that she reminds me a little of you,” Even said with a little laugh but he shrugged, reaching over and wrapping his arm around Isak’s shoulder. He kissed the side of his head a couple times, “But honestly, I think it’s just us. Because she would share genes with our child, we want to find stuff that reminds us of each other. I was thinking her hair reminded me of yours, and that she kind of has the same lips as you.” 

“Ehem, _lips_?” Isak asked, raising his eyebrows and looking at him. “My lips are the only ones you get to think about, even if someone else’s look similar.” 

“Gross she could be our _surrogate_ , I’m not looking at her lips the same way I look at yours,” Even looked at Isak’s lips for a second and then looked around them, making sure Colette wasn’t coming back yet. “Sexy and wrapped around my dick….” 

“Even!” Isak scolded in a whisper-yell, putting a hand on his chest and pushing him back so he could look him in the eyes. “Hey, you are not saying things like that to get me going right before we get to meet her. I am a totally different person when I’m horny. So, keep it PG for now and I promise we can kick it up a notch when we get back to our place.” 

“Yes _sir_ ,” Even said with a smirk, unable to help himself just for the moment, but immediately dropping it. Isak was right, not everyone was as okay with their overt sexuality the way their friends who grew up with them were. Besides they were in public and not in a club or bar and Isak was less okay with PDA than Even. “Okay, I’m done. I’m sorry. I’ll be good.” 

“Thank you,” Isak said with a little eye roll, tilting his head and giving him a gentle kiss. “So she seems sweet. A little nervous, which is always good. Because that means she’s a little cautious which is a good trait. A survival trait.” 

“Isak, it’s weird when you talk about traits like we’re animals in the wild,” Even said, raising his eyebrows and not helping a little bit of a smile on his lips because when Isak did nerdy things, it always made him smile. “Let’s just focus on her personality, I think that’s going to be the most important. If we like her and get along with her then it’s probably a perfect match.” 

It wasn’t long before Colette was back with three coffees with sugars and cream on the side, wearing the same pants but a more colorful shirt and her hair falling down messily everywhere, giving her look a little more personality. She placed down both of their coffees in front of them and held her own as she took her seat across from them, still obviously just a tad nervous but definitely more comfortable. 

“Sorry, trying to pay for law school has been a real bitch, so like a month ago I started working here on weekends plus any other shifts they call me in for,” She said, pulling all of her hair over to one side of her face and twirling it habitually. “On Tuesdays and Thursdays I volunteer at environmental agencies and on Mondays and Wednesdays I am a teacher's assistant for some different undergrad classes at USC. I want to be an environmental lawyer and I am so close to being done with school. Just one more year but I had to take a gap because I couldn’t pay for it and these small gigs aren’t cutting it.” 

“Is that why you became a surrogate?” Isak asked. 

“Well, yeah,” Colette said honestly, shrugging a little and looking down at her hands for a moment before going back to twirling her hair. She sat up straighter, though. “I mean, I won’t lie to you, I saw it as a good way to make money but it’s more than that. I like to help people and if I didn’t want to help you guys, I wouldn’t be in it at all. I can assure you of that. And I can be a complete open book on anything you want to know.” 

“We appreciate the honesty,” Even said, looking at Isak for a moment giving him a smile. It seemed like a fair trade, she helped them have a baby and the payment she got from being a surrogate would help her finish up her schooling. Or fair enough considering that she was offering it. “And we’d love to get to know you.”

“Okay, awesome,” Colette smiled and let go of her hair. “And don’t worry, if you’re hungry, my coworker, Jen is going to be over in a bit take our order and we can use my employee discount.” 

“Now I can see why you chose this place,” Isak said with a smile, trying to be cheeky and funny before he dove into it in his nice, soothing therapist tones. “From your profile you seem like the perfect candidate. Now we really just want to get to know you so that we can be sure of the choice. I’m sure you want to make sure you’re helping the right people bring a baby into the world, too. So let’s just relax and hang out and get to know each other.” 

“Alright, awesome,” Colette said with a nod, “I always think music is a good tell of someone’s personality? Let’s start there? I know there might be a cultural distance here but I think we can figure it out.”  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they've moved ! New people, new adventures ! And a brief glance at possible surrogate Colette. Let me know what you're thinking.   
> Thank you for reading and as always comments and kudos are much appreciated <3


	10. Loosen Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello and thank you for joining me once again. this chapter is getting the ball rolling on everything so it's a little stagnant and I'm sorry but drama to come for sure for sure. just stay tuned and thanks <3

_Monday, July 22_

On paper, Colette was pretty much perfect. She was smart, a hard worker, dedicated to the things that she did. Her stats were good, too, extremely fertile, a regular cycle, and a family free of medical issues—mental and physical. Meeting with her and digging under the surface was pretty fruitful too. After talking with her, and going over everything that Isak found to be the most important given their current situation, Isak decided that it wasn’t only on paper. She was pretty much perfect. Well rounded, honest, and almost completely healthy. 

Isak did detect that she had a little bit of nerves and he was pretty sure they weren’t over their situation. After she warmed up to them, she was totally confident in what they were doing. She seemed to be all in, ready to move forward with it. So, he didn’t think the nerves had to do with that. But, he couldn’t place it. He just had to hope that whatever it was, wasn’t something that would derail them in the long run. 

So he dropped it and they were moving forward. The three of them had an appointment that morning to tell the doctor the good news and figure out when they could move forward. He and Even took an uber over and met Colette there in the waiting room until they were called to speak with Dr. Carter, who was almost too happy to hear how well they hit it off. 

“Ah, I just love it when the first one’s the charm, it feels like fate!” Dr. Carter said, smiling and clapping before she picked up a folder on the desk and flipping through some papers. “When I looked at your files side by side, I knew it was a good fit, I just knew it.” 

“I think Even and Isak are going to be amazing parents, and it seems they’ve got a great support system back home,” Colette said, sounding professional and smiling wide. “I’d honestly be honored to carry a baby for them. Also it’s kind of awesome to know the baby will be growing up in Norway. I did some research the other night and I totally approve.” 

“And we think Colette is amazing, too,” Even said, smiling and placing a hand on Isak’s thigh, squeezing it and smiling at him. He smiled and nodded in agreement with him, putting his hand over Even’s. “So we’re totally up for this.” 

“That’s great,” Dr. Carter said, flipping one more page and running her finger down the paper. “Unfortunately, Colette won’t be ovulating for about two weeks. So, we’ll have to wait until then for the insemination. I wish I could send you in right now, I love this chemistry. But, two weeks it is. Don’t you dare change your minds!” 

“We won’t,” Isak said with a smile, glancing at Colette for a moment and wondering about those nerves of hers. Was two weeks going to make _that_ build? Would it make _her_ change her mind? He hoped not. “Definitely not.” 

“Hey, me either,” Colette said, as if sensing Isak’s questions. He thought maybe he needed to talk to her, alone. Maybe do a little psychoanalyzing or something just to investigate it. He wasn’t really sure what the line was for surrogate and baby Daddy, but he wanted to be her friend, at least for the next two weeks and nine months. If that was normal. “Two weeks is nothing. It’ll fly right on by.” 

“Alright, then when you make an appointment on your way out, make it for August 5th or the next three days after, that’s when your chances will be highest,” Dr. Carter said with a smile. “Do you have any questions at all before I let you go?” 

“No, I think we’re good,” Isak said after looking around the room and assessing whether or not it seemed that the other two wanted to say something. “We’ll make the appointment and be back in two weeks to start a family.” 

They made their appointment for around two weeks later, the seventh of August, and then everything would officially be in motion. After that there would be no turning back. Just two short weeks of their life as they knew it—well, maybe that was a little dramatic, it’d be a good while before there was any significant change, but it would be the mark of a new era. A save-the-date to remember. 

“So, we’ll see you on the seventh? Or maybe beforehand?” Even asked Colette as they walked out onto the street. It’d be a few minutes before their Uber arrived. 

“Well, first let me give you a ride home,” Colette said, waving her keys and smiling. “But maybe we should go out. Continue getting to know each other before I officially can’t drink anymore. Friday, maybe?” 

“Friday could be good,” Even said with a smile, looking at Isak, who nodded in approval and then looked back at Colette. 

“Cool, I’ll text you guys the details!” 

 

_Wednesday, July 24_

Even was at an interview for a job around midday. He’d been applying for weeks to get interviews when they first got out there so that he’d hopefully have a job in no time. Isak would start his Residency out there on Monday, though he wouldn’t have anything to do for classes until late August. But, while Even was out interviewing in the meantime, Isak was at their apartment alone, which was weird and he couldn’t actually handle it just yet. He had been trying to play some FIFA, but somehow he ended up on a three-way call with Eskild and Jonas. 

They’d been texting and then Jonas called so that they could play FIFA together over the phone and then they were calling Eskild to get his opinion on Colette. Jonas seemed pretty on-board, though he refused to make any real judgements before he saw what she looked like. But Eskild had seemed indifferent about it over texts, making Isak’s nerves rise, seeing as he hadn’t even told either of them about his inkling of her nerves.

“I think she’s really cool, and so does Even,” Isak told them again, but this time out loud, not through text. “She’s smart, and funny and the right kind of sarcastic. She’s also nice and cares about the planet and stuff. Plus some of her looks remind me of Even so it’s perfect.” 

“Exactly, no one is that perfect,” Eskild said as if he was pointing out the most obvious thing in the world, starting with a scoff and making sure he had the most sass possible. “I think she’s definitely got some skeletons in her closet. And they could be pretty bad if her cover is _that_ perfect.” 

“Eskild just doesn’t trust anyone because he doesn’t trust himself,” Jonas argued, definitely always being open to new people, never worrying about getting screwed over they way both Isak and Eskild seemed to. “There’s definitely a chance that there’s more underneath all of the perfect. But honestly, I don’t think it could be anything that would affect all of your shit. Plus, after she pushes out your kid, you can be done with her so who cares about the skeletons?” 

“Right, well we’re totally protected through the agency so I’m not worried about it,” Isak said with a sigh, slouching back on the couch and grabbing the controller to turn off FIFA and put on some Netflix. “I do think she’s hiding something, though. Something that could change her mind before our appointment on the seventh. But I haven’t told Even that.”

They both groaned. 

“Come on, man, you know that’s shit,” Jonas said, and Isak could picture his intense stare, the one that told him he was being an idiot. “You know it’s never any fucking good when you keep something from him. And this is like one hundred and ten percent more important than anything else you’ve ever kept from him, including being gay.” 

“Jonas is right, Isak, you’re being stupid,” Eskild tsked, and Isak pictured him, beside Jonas giving him the stare-down, but Eskild somehow a million times more sassy with the look. “You want to tell Even, first off so he’s prepared if that does happen, seeing as he’s probably all attached to Miss Perfect. Second, you’re supposed to tell him everything.” 

“I’m sorry, Eskild, did that just come out of your mouth?” Isak asked, continuously finding himself shocked by some of the things Eskild had to say as of recently. Apparently his thing with Jacob was blossoming, making him understand the value of being in a relationship. It was both refreshing and shocking. 

“Stop being surprised that I have good couple advice, it’s getting exhausting,” Eskild groaned. “I have always understood this stuff, okay? I just didn’t feel like sharing. Now I do.”

“Can we get back to Miss Perfect, what’s her thing, Isak? Any idea?” Jonas asked, getting them back on track. “Like she was a sex worker or maybe she killed someone or is in the witness protection program because someone is out to kill _her_. Shit. Mind blown, right?”

“Hilarious, but I don’t think it’s any of that,” Isak sighed, clicking on the first animated show on netflix then pushing his hair back. “She’s just nervous about something, or someone or I don’t really know. We probably just have to make sure to avoid the thing before the appointment. But first I’ll have to figure out what it is.” 

“Any idea how you’ll do that?” Eskild asked. 

“She invited Even and I out to some gay bar with her friends on Friday,” Isak said, moving to lay down on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. “Get her drunk and hope she’ll spill is the best idea I’ve got. If that doesn’t work, I’ll just right out ask. She knows what I’m going to school for, she’s probably dying to talk to a therapist anyway, and I’m free.” 

“No one wants to be therapied, no matter how much you want to push it,” Jonas said. 

“Actually, girls are more likely to, I say he goes for it,” Eskild said, “Because females are more in touch with themselves and aren’t afraid of what makes them sad or opening up about it. Well, most the time.” 

“I’ll figure it out, don’t worry, and I’ll tell Even and we’ll make it to the seventh,” Isak said, closing his eyes and putting his pointer finger and thumb over his eyelids. “But I’ll keep you updated on the matter, for sure.” 

“Oh man, I just thought,” Jonas said, sounding excited, “You have to give them a collection of your sperm. You _and_ Even so you can mix it. Are you guys allowed to get each other off to get that collection?” 

“Really? Because I’m more stuck on Colette taking you guys to a gay bar, is she gay too?” Eskild asked. “Gays always attract more gays, it’s crazy.”

“Huh, that’s like the one thing we haven’t asked,” Isak said, thinking about it for a moment. He’d like to think that he was getting better gaydar over the years, and he wasn’t picking up anything from Colette. He’d just figured she was being cool, showing them some of the places they might like to frequent while they lived there. “I’ll make note to ask her. Unless Friday answers first.”

“Who are you asking what by Friday,” Even said, suddenly in the room, making Isak jump, hooking his arm up on the back of the couch and looking over at him. 

“Jesus fuck, Ev, you scared the shit out of me,” Isak said, letting himself fall back to the couch. “Make some fucking noise, would ya?” 

“I’m sorry,” Even said with a little laugh, walking around the couch and leaning down to give Isak a kiss before moving to straddle him. His hands gripped gently at Isak’s sides, ever so slowly creeping upwards. “Can I make it up to you?” 

“Guys, I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later,” Isak said into the phone before turning it off and tossing it onto the floor before he could hear their protests. They could talk about it later. He looked up at Even, reaching up and placing a hand on the back of his neck to pull him closer. “No need, you being here has already made up for enough. How was the interview?” 

“Good, good I think,” Even nodded, pecking Isak’s lips and then sitting back up again. “I like it better when they offer you the job on the spot. But, I’m sure there are a shit ton of other candidates, so I get it. They said they’ll let me know by this time next week, if not before.”

“My fingers are crossed for you, Baby,” Isak said, gripping onto the front of Even’s shirt and pulling him back down. “Now kiss me like you mean it and don’t you dare pull back again.” 

“Hold on, were you guys talking about Colette?” Even asked, keeping himself far enough back to ask Isak the question and make sure he could see Even’s concern on his face. “Because if there’s something you think we should know about her, like you’re worried about it or something? Then I should know.” 

“We were actually talking about her sexuality,” Isak sighed, knowing that there was definitely more. “Otherwise though, I think she may have a touch of anxiety. Over something very specific but I don’t know what. And I don’t know what it means for the long run, but we’ll figure out and it’ll be okay. Okay?” 

“Okay,” Even said, nodding as if he was taking in the information, biting on his lip silently for a moment or two. “Okay, it’s probably nothing… I won’t worry about it if and until she tells us we should.” 

“Then let me calm you for now,” Isak said, cupping his cheek now instead, going for a gentler approach. He whispered gently. “Kiss me.”

“Happily,” Even said with a smile, the crease between his eyebrows disappearing as he leaned down and gently pressed his warm lips to Isak’s, calming them both.

 

_Friday, July 26_

That night Even and Isak dressed up to go to the club then Ubered over. It was someplace called _Bloom_ , which Isak was pretty sure was the name of a Troye Sivan song, but he wasn’t going to be the one to wonder that outloud. He hoped Even would. It made sense, and the place itself did remind Isak a lot of that album artwork. And really it was just like every other gay bar or club they’d been to; cute men dancing and grinding, lesbians scattered around the bar, booths, and dancing in groups with their friends on the dance floor. 

In a weird way, it felt like home. It was very familiar, very comfortable. 

“I see Colette over there,” Even said in Isak’s ear so he could hear over the music. She was at the bar with a few other girls and possibly a few guys, but it was hard to tell where her party ended and the general public began. Still no give as to whether or not she was gay and even Even couldn’t tell. “You think she’s got a booth or something somewhere?” 

“Let’s ask, maybe we can find one,” Isak said, going to take Even’s hand, but Even pulled it away and wrapped his arm around him instead. And Isak much preferred that. It was better that it was very obvious they were there together so that neither one of them had to get jealous over someone hitting on them.

“Even, Isak!” Colette said with a bright smile when she saw the two of them approaching. She waved them over as if they weren’t already on their way and then screamed excitedly when they were close, squeezing herself between them and wrapping her arms around their waists. She obviously was already a couple drinks in. “Okay, guys, this is Even and Isak. I will be carrying their _baby._ Even and Isak, this is my best friend Mallory, her girlfriend Taylor, and our friend Dex. Taylor’s brother is here too, he’s got a booth for us but fair warning, he can be annoying. His name is Chuck and he’s only here because Dex thinks he can get in his pants but there’s no waaaay.” 

“Not gay?” Even asked Dex with an eyebrow raise. 

“Everyone else says no but I say yes,” Dex said with a shrug. “Taylor’s gay and I’m telling you, it’s hereditary. He’s gay and someday he will be mine.” 

“Keep dreaming,” Taylor said, laughing and then sipping her drink and handing it to Mallory. Apparently they were a couple who shared drinks. “We should probably bring him his frilly drink though, before it gets watery. Do you guys want to grab something and meet us over there?” 

“Go, go, go, _I’ll_ help them get drinks and bring them over,” Colette said, seeming to have a heroic tone to her voice as she talked. She shooed her friends away and then let go of Even and Isak and spun around to far the bar. The boys followed in pursuit, resting on the bar and looking at her. “We’ll get you guys some beer and then you can meet my friends. They were so excited to find out that I got matched with a gay couple.” 

Isak looked up at Even and Even looked back at him for a moment, and Colette ordered the beers before looking back at them and looking a little confused. 

“And what about you, Colette? Are you gay?” Isak asked, deciding to come right out and ask. It wasn’t something he’d generally do, knowing what it’s like not to want to admit it or talk about it. But she seemed totally comfortable in all of this, so he thought why not?

“Me? Oh, no,” Colette shook her head and swirled the straw around in her own drink, “No no. Or I mean a little. I don’t really date much anymore. Or really at all. But if I’m hooking up with someone, I’d say nine out of ten times, it’s totally a guy. Or I mean, not...not,not that I can think of ten. Shit. Ah, now you guys probably think I’m a slut. Shit.” 

The bartender handed over whatever beer it was that Colette had ordered for them and Even handed over a card, taking them and handing one to Isak before wrapping his arm around Colette. Isak wanted to walk around and wrap his own arm around Even but he knew he was supposed to be being supportive, so he wrapped his arm around Colette too and started heading back to the booth. 

“Ten is nothing,” Even said as they walked, being supportive, “And there’s no number that makes you a slut so it’s cool. Now, we’re here to have fun tonight. So stop looking at us as people you need to impress. You’re not carrying my baby yet so you can get as wild as you like. I insist that you let loose.” 

“Colette let loose?” Mallory asked with a snort as they reached the table, the four of them squished into one side of the booth so Even, Isak, and Colette could sit in the other. “Not since like, 2018, probably. That was the year you decided to become a lawyer, right?” 

“Yes and that is totaaaalllly the causation, thank you,” Colette said, rolling her eyes and taking a big swig of her drink. 

“I never see you drink like this, are you okay?” The one who must’ve been Chuck asked. Isak took one look at him and his gaydar definitely said gay. His dark hair was spiked up perfectly and his eyebrows were definitely shaped. Isak could only assume that dark blue, tight skinny jeans were the pairing to his black polo. But there was a pretty confusing piece of the puzzle, and that was the cross necklace around his neck. Isak didn’t know a lot of people who associated with the LGBT community and wore their religion right out and proud like that. It was the only thing that made him think maybe he wasn’t gay. 

“I’m fine, I just realized,” She paused for a moment, looking at Even and Isak as if she wasn’t sure she should say what she was going to next. Even gave a little nod and she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and went on. “I realized that in less than two weeks now, I won’t be able to drink. And I never drink anymore so I didn’t think it was a problem but now that I literally just won’t be able to, I kind of want to. So, I’m getting it out of my system.”

“Getting it out of your system sounds like a good idea,” Even said, laughing a little and moving to wrap an arm around Isak’s shoulders. “Let’s get drunk, then.” 

~  
*  
Even approved of Colette even more after meeting her friends. Though he quickly picked up on what was most annoying about each of them, he also decided that those quirks weren’t annoying enough. Colette’s quirk was her over explanation of things. It made her come off as show-offy and a know-it-all, but Even loved those things on Isak, so it’d be fine for their kid. Besides, she was kind of gay and she hung out with gays, and although it was never like Even to use his sexual identification or others to decide their worth, it felt right. He was in a foreign country, far from his family, primarily speaking a language that wasn’t his own, but it felt good to be there with them. It just made him comfortable that the first people he met were these really awesome gays. It was good to know that the LGBT community was a place that he could feel welcome no matter where in the world he was. 

“I don’t want to go to that party,” Colette said, waving her hand at her friends drunkenly and then leaning it on the table to look over at Even and Isak. Her friend, Mallory was in law school, too, and apparently a couple other students were having a party. And apparently law school parties were crazy. But Even understood why Colette wouldn’t want to go, seeing as she wasn’t even technically still in law school. “Would you guys want to go?”

“Actually, it’s getting late and we’re still getting used to the time difference so...” He looked at Even and bit his lip and Even knew exactly what he was doing. It was a little past 22:30 on a Friday, it definitely wasn’t late and they had been managing the time difference much better than anticipated. Isak was just a little tipsy, a little horny, a little needy. He wanted to get Even home to get into his pants. “Maybe we should just call it a night...”

“Probably a good idea, I don’t need you guys stealing my thunder,” Dex said, putting a hand on Chuck’s shoulder and looking at him. “They’d totally steal my thunder.” Dex had qualities reminiscent of Eskild’s, but with a twist, he was actually pretty nerdy, and he and Isak could’ve probably had long, boring science talks, but he was too busy putting on his show for Chuck. 

“I don’t think anyone could steal your thunder, Dex,” Chuck said, laughing lightly and getting up, almost as if contact with Dex was a trigger, he had to move. “I’m going to go close our tab, Tay.” 

“Cool,” Taylor said, sitting up more from where she was slumped into Mallory’s side. She really wanted to get out and get partying, she was bored of the club. 

“I’ll go with you, I’ve gotta close mine too,” Dex said, getting up and following Chuck to the bar. Even knew he had to close their tab, too, but he was going to let the two of them be alone. He had a feeling that Dex was more than right about Chuck. He actually was a little suspect that something was already going on between the two of them, but on the downlow for whatever reason. 

“We’ll probably order one more, but you guys can go, we’ll make sure she gets home safe,” Isak said to Mallory and Taylor after the boys left. “Even if we have to pay for an Uber.”

“Are you sure?” Mallory asked, looking at them worriedly. She was in love with Taylor, but she loved Colette, she had her back and would rather her be safe than go to some party because Taylor was bored. That much was obvious, and Even could probably write a book with all the thoughts he had about that so he tried not to overthink it. After all, these were Colette’s friends. They really all shouldn’t have been getting too close. He didn’t want to blur the lines too much. Of course, he’d have to focus on not blurring those lines too much after that night because Isak was offering them to babysit her and probably ruining all hope for the sex he’d just been putting on the table. 

“Yeah, yeah, we’re great at dealing with drunk friends,” Even said, laughing a little and then looking at Mallory. “Trust me, we want her to be safe just as much as you do. Would you like my number or something so you could check in?”

“Great idea,” Mallory said with a witty smile, pulling out her phone and making a contact before handing it to him. “Expect multiple texts and calls until I know she’s home safe.” 

“Good friend,” Isak said as Even typed in his US number for her—he and Isak got sim cards right away and were using mostly internet connection to talk to their friends and family back home—and Even wanted to peak up at Taylor. He wanted to see her be jealous to form more of their little story in his mind. But it took him a second or two to remember the number because he was tipsy and by the time he looked up, the look—if there was one—was gone. 

“She is the best friend,” Colette said fondly as Mallory and Taylor stood up. Mallory leaned over and the two of them hugged while Taylor reached out for handshakes with Even and Isak. 

“It was nice meeting you guys, we should come here again sometime,” Taylor said, looking over at Colette and Mallory as they separated, “Whether she’s knocked up or not.”

“For sure,” Even told her, though he wasn’t actually sure that it would be the best idea. The lines, he had to think about the lines that needed to be drawn. But he was going to be polite and probably a little fake because he was drunk. “We’d love to. Mallory’s got my number now so you can always shoot me a text.”

 

Every time Even or Isak asked Colette for her address, it changed. It was all mostly the same numbers and components, but there were so many and the order switched way too much. So, eventually they said “screw it” and and grabbed an Uber for three back to their place. They didn’t have a mattress in the spare bedroom yet, but the couch was comfortable and Colette was small, so Even figured it would do. She’d probably just be happy to crash at that point, seeing as one more drink turned to two more, then to three and they didn’t leave the club until 23:45 and Colette was absolutely wasted. 

She even fell asleep in the Uber and Even had to carry her inside. It wasn’t until he was laying her on the couch and Isak was covering her up that her eyes popped open, almost alarmingly fast. A brief moment of panic enveloped her face and her body froze and then all of a sudden she loosened, her eyes fluttering almost completely shut. 

“S’just you guys,” She mumbled, curling herself up under the blankets and smiling, her eyes closing completely. “You guys are gay’n in love. You won’t take advantage of me, not like…” 

And she stopped, Even thought she was pausing because it was difficult to say, but actually, she just passed out mid sentence, leaving them in suspense, though he was pretty sure that the two of them had a good idea of where that was going. Even backed up, feeling a little guilty and looking over at Isak. 

“We should…” Even swallowed hard. 

“Let her sleep,” Isak said, “You don’t want to make someone drunk admit something they may regret sober. Or else I would have asked if she was in love with Mallory because she is.” 

Isak wrapped his arms around Even and starting to lead him back to the room. Even hoped that there was still a little hope for some sort of sexual activity once they got there, but he wasn’t so sure, it’d been so long since Isak had given him the look initially. So, once they were back in the room, Even pushed Isak against the door and looked him in the eye. 

“Help me clear my mind to help me sleep.”  
*

_Saturday, July 27_

“Hey there sleepy head, I made some coffee, if you’d like some,” Even said, walking out from the kitchen with Isak’s cup in his hand. Even had been up for a little bit, apparently doing some job searching and keeping an eye on Colette. When she started to stir, he woke up Isak and told him to go into the living room, promising coffee and pancakes for breakfast. Even handed Isak his cup and looked at Colette, who was holding her forehead as she slowly sat up. She looked around for a few moments, taking in her surroundings and pulling the blanket they had draped over her the night before up to her chest as if she felt exposed. 

“Yeah… that’d be great,” She said, making Even nod and go into the kitchen. Colette watched him then looked at Isak and cleared her throat, running a hand through her hair a few times before pulling a hair tie off her wrist and swiftly pulling it up. Isak could tell that she was obviously feeling off. Maybe she felt unprofessional, passing out in their place, or maybe it had to do with her drunken ramblings the night before. “I, uh, I’m so sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry,” Isak shook his head and grabbed the blanket off the back of the loveseat he was sitting on, pulling his feet up onto the couch and wrapping himself up in it as he sipped on his coffee. “We had a good time and we really like your friends. Mallory’s really something…she was basically texting Even all night long, making sure you were okay.” 

“She’s great,” Colette said, smiling a little and looking down, she grabbed her phone off the coffee table and unlocked it. “I’ll actually probably have her come pick me up. I’ve already put you two out enough. And I promise I won’t drink when I’m pregnant.” 

“No coffee either when you’re pregnant,” Even said as he came back into the room. He was carrying two mugs, one for Colette and then keeping one for himself and sitting beside Isak on the couch. Isak offered him the blanket so that it was wrapped around each of their outer shoulders. “But we’re not worried about that.”

“But you’re worried? Did I say something? Look, I think you’re both really attractive but—” 

“Colette,” Isak said gently, trying to stop her before she said anything more. “Thanks for that but you didn’t say anything about us. Or well, you said that we wouldn’t take advantage of you. Not like...someone else?” 

Isak knew the best way to go about it was to lay out what they knew on the table right away. Fishing and digging when you know exactly what you’re looking for is worthless. Map it, catch it, get to the damn bottom of it before it’s been lost. So he’d be kind, he’d be gentle, but he came right out and said it so that they could figure it out. It wasn’t exactly their business, but Isak wasn’t sure. Was it something that was going to make her change her mind in the next two weeks? Would it drive her away when the pregnancy hormones took over? 

“Oh,” Colette’s eyes widened and she looked down again.

“Hey, I get that there are probably a million reasons you don’t want to talk about this,” Isak said, doing his best calming therapist voice. He watched her carefully, setting his coffee aside so he could focus. “But there are probably a million that you should. Starting with the fact that I don’t know how this is affecting your psyche, and what that can do to our situation. Then of course, there’s you, it’d be better for you to talk about it, it could have something to do with those commitment issues you’ve got.. But, lastly, I think I can relate. Maybe not completely but I know talking about it helped. You see, when I was seventeen, someone touched me while I was asleep, someone I didn’t want touching me. So I get what those boundaries being crossed feels like.” 

“Wow, the therapist thing really works on you,” Colette said, masking whatever it was that she was feeling with humor. “And that’s cool, but I’ve never talked about what happened with anyone. I can’t even bring myself to tell Mallory. So I really don’t want to go into specifics with you right now. Not while I’m hungover, not when I’m still getting to know you guys.” 

“Well, we’d never make you talk about something that made you uncomfortable,” Even said, putting a hand on Isak’s leg, as if telling him to back off. “But we of course need to know if this has potential to ruin our plans here. Isak and I know a lot about how these things can affect a person and it’s a little worrisome.” 

“No, no, guys,” Colette almost jumped up in panic, her eyes widening again as she looked between the two of them frantically. “Please, don’t change your mind. The only thing this really affects is my dating life. Trust me, you are so safe with me, I’m going to be the best surrogate, I will stay away from every tiny little bad thing, I will pay attention to the baby, take birthing classes, and whatever else you think you may need. Just don’t change your minds. Please.” 

“We won’t,” Isak said, trying not to feel too disappointed that she didn’t just open up and spill her guts to him. Like, come on, he wasn’t even just a therapist, he was a gay therapist. All the girls back home loved opening up to him because he was gay. “But I’m just going to say that I think you spilling about it while your drunk is your subconscious saying you’re ready to talk about it. And that I’m totally here.” 

“And I’m making pancakes for breakfast and I’d love for you to stay,” Even said. “What do you say? We can talk about you and Mallory. You guys have a pretty neat relationship. Best friends for most of your lives?” 

 

_Tuesday, July 30_

“Baby! How was your first day?” Even asked as Isak walked through the door that evening after his first day at his new residency. The kitchen smelled wonderful, Even must’ve been slaving away at dinner so that Isak could sit down to a good meal when he got home. He turned a knob on the stove and then swiftly walked over to Isak, taking his face and giving him a nice, lingering kiss. 

“It was pretty good,” Isak said with a smile when he pulled back, he’d been stressed from his crazy uber driver on his ride home but Even’s pretty face and intoxicating kiss already had him calmed. “Everyone was nice, the doctors I’m working under are pretty cool so far, and the resident I’m working with the most closely is female, which means no Mats situation.” 

“Was there really a chance for that?” Even asked, eyebrows pressed together. 

“No but I thought the statement would give you some peace of mind,” Isak said, reaching up and resting a hand on the back of his neck, his other finding his bicep and resting it there. “Given everything that's happened, I would understand you being worried about me working closely with another guy. Even though I'm two billion percent loyal and I will be forever more.” 

“Mm, I do like knowing all this,” Even smiled and ran a hand through Isak's hair, then down his neck and back. “But know that I trust you. It's everyone else I'm nervous about because you're so fucking hot. And like nice and a good person and all that stuff but most importantly so fucking hot.” 

“So my looks are the most important?” Isak asked, pretending to be shocked and hurt, but stepping himself closer. “That's quite shallow of you, Even.” 

“I meant to everyone else,” Even said, laughing a little and letting both hands fall to Isak's hips, pulling him in completely so that their hips and stomachs were touching. “Your looks are the first thing they see and they are just so fucking good. They really get me going, that's for sure.” 

“Well if we get going now then this lovely dinner you've prepared for us will get cold,” Isak said moving the hand on Even's bicep to stroke his cheek. “It smells amazing.” 

“And _you_ smell very sanitary and I’d like to dirty you up,” Even said, giving him a hungry and electric little kiss, pulling back with a bite to Isak's bottom lip, tugging on it briefly. It had Isak gasping as Even abruptly pulled away. “But if you're so hungry, we should definitely eat. I have slaved away, after all.” 

“You're so good at making me want you somehow more than I already do,” Isak sighed, running a hand through his hair and grabbing some forks and napkins for them while Even plated their meals. He set them down and took a seat. “Let's make it a quick meal so I can get you in the sheets.” 

“In the sheets, against that wall, on the table, wherever,” Even said with a smirk as she carried the plates to the table. He set them down then sat down and looked at Isak. “I'm sure it'll be soon enough. But I hope you enjoy this in the meantime.” 

 

After dinner, Even put the dishes in the sink and then walked back over to the table, standing behind Isak. He put his hands on his shoulders and slowly started giving him a massage. Isak definitely wasn't as tense as he was back home. Being out here felt like a new start. Work was going to be work and his assignments and classes to finish his PhD were going to be hell but it was fresh. He was sure he'd build to the stress but he was just enjoying the way he felt right then.

“You know, I think job searching and interviewing are much worse than what I'm up against,” Isak said, slowly getting up and turning to Even. “You're much more deserving of a massage.” 

Isak took Even's hands and pulled him out into the living room. He sat him down on the couch then squeezed himself behind him. It was going to make for a bit of a weird position for a massage but he didn't expect that to last for very long. He and Even would be ripping off each other's clothes in no time. 

“We didn't talk about the job search at all, how's it going?” Isak asked as he wrapped his legs around Even's waist and pressed his hands to his shoulders.

“I think I'll have a job in no time,” Even said optimistically though Isak could feel the tension in his shoulders. Interviews were the absolute worst because they made you dish out all this stuff about yourself and then sometimes you never even get a call back. It was like some sort of first date hell. And Even was stuck in it.

“I believe in you, Baby,” Isak said, leaning in and pressing a kiss to the back of his neck while he continued working on his shoulders. “You do feel pretty tense, though. Are you sure you're okay?” 

“Interviews are tough but I'm okay,” Even said, turning his head a little, so Isak took the opportunity to give his jaw a few kisses. Interviews were tough and Even's knots were tough and now Isak needed to fix it and this position was just not going to do. 

“Mmkay,” Isak said, getting up and moving to stand in front of Even, swiftly pulling off his shirt. “Lay down, on your stomach. I'm going to go get you a pillow.” 

Isak didn't wait for his response, he just walked away, heading down the hall and to their room. Once inside he grabbed Even's pillow and a couple other things: lube and a bottle of lotion with lavender extract for soothing. Isak was certain he had the trick to loosen Even back up. 

When Isak got back to the couch, Even was there, laying on his stomach as requested. But, he was completely naked, resting his head on his arms and smirking as Isak took him in. There was a lot to be desired with the front half of his body covered, but his back was something to marvel at too. Though he had always been tall and lanky, he made it work and even filled out more over the years. His shoulders a little more broad, back a little more muscly, even his ass a little more plump. And right in the air for Isak. 

“Wow,” Isak said, licking his lips and handing Even the pillow. He set down the lube and lotion on the floor as Even situated himself with the pillow. Then he let himself marvel for a second more, taking a hand and slowly running it through the hair on the side of his head, down his neck, back, ass, thigh, calf, ankle, heel, arch, toe. “Your beauty still takes my breath away.” 

“The element of surprise always has its benefits,” Even said dreamily, Isak's relaxation technique already working it's magic.

“Well let me even the playing field,” Isak said, walking over to the gas fireplace and flipping the switch to turn it on before dimming the lights and undressing himself. Once he was completely naked, he walked back over. “There, now we can move forward.” 

“Setting the mood and everything,” Even said with a smile, reaching out and placing a hand on Isak’s lower abdomen. “Consider me romanced out of my pants.” 

“Don’t ruin the mood,” Isak joked with a little laugh, leaning down and giving him a kiss before sitting on his ass and leaning down to grab the lotion. He put some in his hands and rubbed them together, making sure to warm it up before he used it on Even’s back. “Just relax my love, I’m going to make sure you feel amazing.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Even said happily as Isak ran his hands over his back, first just making sure all the knots got a fair amount of lotion and then giving him the best massage he could manage, feeling accomplished, satisfied, and oh so turned on with every moan that came out of him. The more turned on he got, the further down his back he would move until eventually, Isak was sitting on his thighs with his dick out over the crack of Even’s ass. Isak was massaging his lower back, along the dimples he had there and he could tell that Even was turned on, too. His moans had turned from satisfied to horny a few minutes ago, but he was letting Isak lead. 

“You’re not falling asleep on me, are you?” Isak asked jokingly as he reached down for the lube, putting some in his hands and then on his dick and sliding it along his crack. It felt nice, like a little relief after all the time he’d spent letting it build. 

“‘Course not,” Even purred, lifting his head a little and trying to look at him but letting it fall back to his pillow when it ended up being too much work. “I’m relaxed, just like you said.” 

“Good, it’s definitely better to be relaxed,” Isak said with a smile, slowly sliding back and moving to just straddle one of Even’s legs so he could spread them ever-so-slightly. He slathered the lube up over his fingers and circled them around his hole, looking up over his ass and back as he easily slide two fingers inside. “Definitely relaxed.”

“Told’ya,” Even slurred into a moan, pressing his ass up into Isak’s touch as he slowly pumped and scissored his fingers. It wasn’t long before Isak was easily sliding three fingers in and out, thinking of adding a fourth when Even moaned out, “Fuck me,” and Isak just had to oblige when he said it like that. Dripping with need, with pleasure over what he was feeling, what Isak was providing. 

“Baby, I love you so damn much,” Isak said as he pulled his fingers out and started pumping his dick, making sure it was nicely lubed. He guided it to his hole and slowly pushed inside, watching the muscles ripple up Even’s back and not being able to help the moan in response. He was relaxed, but he was still tight, still surrounding Isak with absolute pleasure. 

“Love you too,” Even managed to slur out, somehow already wrecked from the experience, the muscles in his back relaxing again as Isak bottomed out and sat there, letting him get used to that full feeling. He massaged up his back some more, keeping him relaxed even though Isak was getting more tense, wanting to move. 

Once he thought it was time, he leaned down and started kissing around his shoulders and neck, slowly moving his hips to relieve the tension. The pleasure slowly flowed through him, working his way up from his dick to his stomach and into his chest. His chest and his heart so full of pleasure and love as he touched and he moved and he kissed, he wasn’t sure it could take it. His heart could’ve exploded and, if it did, he would have died happy. So very extremely happy. 

He moved his hips slowly and steadily, letting the pleasure fill him and take him over, letting it lead the whole endeavor. He felt so good, so in love and so close to Even as they moved and moaned, but he wished he’d picked a different position. He wanted his face, his lips, his abs. 

“Isak,” Even moaned out as Isak sped up, gripping onto his shoulders and biting onto the back of his neck. “Isak baby, kiss, kiss me.” 

Isak always felt like they were on the same page, the same wavelength. Somehow, Even was in his head and he was so glad for that. It was a perfect thing to have in a soulmate. He pulled out and helped Even reposition until they were both sitting up, Even on his dick, facing each other with their legs bent behind the other, connected from their nethers all the way up to their lips, moving slow with passion and everything building up at the perfect pace. Keeping the two of them in this perfect moment for ages. 

They kissed and kept moving their hands, wrecking each other’s hair and gliding all the way up and down each other’s backs. Grunts and moans escaping through the cracks in their lips, which were hungrily devouring each other, tongues down each other’s throats. 

He couldn’t tell if it was a long time or a short time when he felt Even starting to tense up, his thighs shaking where they touched Isak’s hips. He just knew it was time. So, he pushed him back, letting his head fall back to his pillow as Isak took his hips and started slamming into him, making sure to hit his sweet spot as frequently as he could. He watched the pleasure wash over Even’s face, his jaw going slack as his eyes half closed as he came on his stomach. 

As Isak watched, he came too, the beauty of the moment sending him over the edge before he was collapsing on top of Even, letting the cum smear across their abdomens. 

“So relaxed,” Even coo’d breathily into his ear. “Thank you. You don’t know how much I needed that.”

“Maybe I did,” Isak saif with a smile, cupping Even’s cheek and smiling happily. “I know you very well, my love.”

 

 _Thursday, Aug 1_  
*  
Forgetting the time difference from Norway to California, Ana FaceTimed Even around nine in the morning the second Thursday they were there. It was just about dinner time for them over there and generally Even and Isak would be there with them, and she decided to make the call. That time, Isak had been there, and all of them talked while his family ate dinner and Even and Isak had breakfast. 

But that morning when Ana called, Isak had been long gone at his residency and Even was still in bed. He groaned when he heard it going off. Thinking of the day and the possible time, he knew it was probably her, or maybe even his Mom, but definitely somebody. He reached over and grabbed his phone, lifting it up over his face and looking at it. Yup. Ana. He swiped the screen and answered the call. 

“Hey,” he said a little groggily, clearing his throat after. 

“Gross, are you naked?” Ana asked, looking at him and pursing her lips disgustedly. “Is that why Isak wasn’t answering his phone? You guys were getting it on at nine in the morning? My God.” 

“Ana your mind is more in the gutter than mine _or_ Isak’s,” Even said, shaking his head and sitting up. “You’re just waking me up and Isak’s at work so that’s why he’s not answering. But, yes, I am naked. I sleep that way so one sec.” 

“Whatever,” Ana said, her cheeks turning a little red before Even put his phone down. He didn’t want to actually think about Ana’s mind being in the gutter and what that could mean. He put on some boxers and some sweats and a tee before picking the phone back up and looking at her. 

“Was there a reason you needed to talk to Isak?” Even treaded lightly, biting his lip and looking at his own image on the screen while he fixed his hair. Sleeping in until nine hadn’t really been on his agenda, but he didn’t have much else to do unless he wanted to reach out to Colette and her friends and they probably had somewhere to be. “Not something to do with that guy, I hope?”

“No, I just like talking to him better,” Ana said in the careless way she always did, comparing the two of them and always making Isak the better. And Even would agree that he was, but when Ana said it, it kind of hurt.

“Well, cool, he’s not around, so then we’re done here,” Even said coldly, looking at her. Isak wasn’t there so she didn’t want to talk, whatever. She was an ungrateful brat and didn’t care about everything he did for her as a big brother. “Guess I’ll talk to you some other time. Or not.”

“Wait, wait, Even, I want to talk to you too,” Ana said quickly, groaning as if it was a chore to remind Even that she cared even just a little. “I just like Isak because he’s more of a friend than brother. He doesn’t treat me like I’m still five. But I miss you too and I wanted to talk.” 

“Well was there something specific you needed to talk about? Is everything okay over there? Mom and Dad are good?” Even asked, fixing his hair some more then propping up some pillows against the headboard to lean up against. He had all day long to do nothing before Isak got home, no interviews scheduled that day, and really no friends. So talking with with Ana—no matter how enormous of a brat she was—was a good way to try to kill time. 

“Well I need to talk to you guys about this Colette,” Ana said seriously, walking down the hallway to her room on the other end and closing it behind her. Dinner had to be soon, he wondered where his parents were but didn’t ask. They’d eventually be there. “I stalked her online and came across like, crazy info. Did you know she was apart of a sorority? Isn’t that whole Greek system fucked as fuck? She probably like, chugged vodka from her ass.” 

“Why are you stalking Colette?” Even asked with an eyebrow raise, wondering if she was the only one. All of their friends and family knew her name and the information Even and Isak gave. But, he didn’t think that they’d be double checking their decision on surrogate. “She’s a good person, Ana. Being in a sorority doesn’t mean shit.”

“Well are you sure she’s all clean and not like, spreading HIV to your baby? Looks like she’s slept around a lot,” Ana said, her tone judgemental and wannabe parental. Had his parents asked her to interrogate them about Colette?

“Do you have something against Colette? You don’t even know her,” Even told her, feeling a little defensive. Colette was a good choice, they made a good choice. It was their choice and it was the right one. Not his parents or their friends or Ana could change their minds. Not that they had a reason to. They didn’t know her and no online profile was going to tell them the truth. Though he hadn’t known she was in a sorority. Maybe they did need to ask a little bit more about her university life, but he really didn’t care. He felt he knew what he needed, which was why he himself didn’t take it to the internet. 

“I’m going to be an aunt, Even,” Ana said, pausing for effect and making Even raise and eyebrow because, duh. 

“Yes, you’re going to be an aunt, congratulations on that discovery,” Even said sarcastically. “Have you also figured out that Isak and I are going to be dads? That maybe we’ve done our interrogating and we know what we need to? That we may want the best for our baby?” 

“Yeah, well Even, maybe you need a third party to look at the situation,” Ana said, acting smart, like a know-it-all, annoying the hell out of Even with it. “You two are rushing into this. You just got there, there’s gotta be a billion other options, there’s no way the first you tried is the best. Think about it. I know she seems nice but is she really the _best?_ ” 

“Colette is amazing, and it just feels like a good match, Ana, you wouldn’t get it, you haven’t met her,” Even said, getting more and more annoyed. “Where’s Mom and Dad? How do they feel?” 

“Similarly, I’m sure,” Ana said with a simple shrug, looking up behind the camera. “They were making dinner, they’re probably almost done. You can talk to them about it but I thought you...well, actually I thought Isak would take it better from me.” 

“Well, listen, you can tell them that I can’t find a single reason why she isn’t the perfect person,” Even said definitively. “Sorority lift, active sex life, whatever ever else you were able to dig up. It’s fine by me. She’s healthy, and she lives close enough that we can keep a pretty good eye on her but I’m also sure I’m going to be able to trust her enough not to have to keep an eye one her.” 

“Sorority girls are drinkers, Even,” Ana said. 

“She doesn’t drink much anymore…” Even said, biting his lip and knowing that he was taking Colette’s word for that, since the first and only time they hung out, she got wasted. “Or at least she won’t while she’s pregnant.” 

“But how do you know for sure?” Ana asked, looking at him with a head tilt and widened eyes. 

“I just do,” Even said with a sigh, putting his pointer finger and thumb over his eyebrows and resting like that for a moment. “I’d rather talk to you guys about the good news. I got a job offer yesterday and I think I’m probably going to take that. I’m still waiting to hear back from a few places but I’m giving it until Tuesday to hear from them. If not, I’ll take it. And it’s pretty cool so it’s not like it would be terrible taking the job.” 

“Bleh, boring,” Ana said with a sigh. 

“Hey, it is not boring,” Even defended, looking at her and shaking his head. She used to think all of his editing was cool, fun, but when she got older and Even’s jobs kind of sucked, she stopped thinking it was so cool. “I’ll be working with some really experienced people finishing a bunch of big title movies. You wouldn’t find it boring if you knew.” 

“Yeah, I guess,” Ana shrugged, “Tell me more about it when you’re working with celebrities.” 

“That’s definitely not going to be happening,” Even told her, rolling his eyes. “Give the phone to Mom and Dad, they’ll care.”  
*

_Saturday, Aug 3_

Honestly, once he was out of Oslo, Isak realized he didn’t really spend much time out of his life making friends. The friends he had were from childhood, had been shoved into his life because they were friends with his other friends. Mats had been the only friend that he had made as an adult and that hadn’t worked out so swimmingly, but now he and Even had to make friends. 

Truthfully, he liked Colette and her friends. They were fun, quirky, and really aside from Taylor seemed to enjoy their company, too. He just didn’t know if there were rules about that. Did they really want to get that close to Colette? If she ended up finding a place in their life permanently then it could get really complicated with the baby and her role in all of this. Which wasn’t supposed to be anything after the baby was born. 

So, he decided to try with his co-worker. The closest resident he worked with. He name was Harper and she was a couple years older than him, having started the program a little later. She had a serious boyfriend of six years, but had no plans of marriage or kids anytime soon. He asked if they would want to hang out, go to a bar or something that Saturday, and she seemed on board, so the plan to make friends was a go. She even asked to invite a couple of her other friends, too. 

So that’s where Even and Isak were waiting, at a bar called _Alegría_. They grabbed a booth and Isak texted her to let her know they were there and she said they’d probably be just another fifteen minutes or so. So they were drinking beers and cuddling in the booth, content with one another just like that. And with moments like this, Isak forgot why they needed friends at all. He was so happy with Even.

“Let’s tell ‘em I got sick and go home and do this all night,” Isak said happily. Even had an arm around Isak’s shoulders and Isak propped a leg up over one of Even’s as he rested his head on his chest. 

“I would love to, but I don’t think you want to start pissing off your coworkers just yet,” Even said with a little laugh, kissing the top of Isak’s head then lifting his beer to his lips. Isak followed his lead and grabbed his own, taking a sip and then getting comfortable again. 

“Fine, fine,” Isak groaned playfully and then kissed Even’s neck a few times. “But tomorrow is just for me and you.” 

“You act like that wasn’t already the plan,” Even said, and Isak could hear the smile in his voice, making Isak smile as he started traveling kisses up his husband’s neck. He kissed until he got to his chin and then opted to press their foreheads together instead of their lips. 

“Yeah but I wanted to say it to emphasize how much I wanna be alone with you,” Isak said, looking into Even’s eyes, feeling his breath on his lips. “I don’t think we have much of that fifteen minutes left but I’d like to spend it kissing you.” 

“Isak? Oh God, I’m sorry to interrupt,” Just as they pressed their lips together, as if it was actually the press of a button, they were no longer alone. Isak pulled away and looked up, trying not to look annoyed by the disruption It was his coworker, Harper with a guy, probably the long time boyfriend, and another girl. “I wasn’t sure if it was you from across the room. Wow, you guys are cute.” 

“Thanks,” Isak said with a smile, not minding being “cute” with Even. “And it’s totally okay. This is my husband, Even. Even this is Harper and her friends....” 

“Right, this is my boyfriend, Chase, and my best friend, Paige,” Harper said, gesturing to each of them as she said their names. They smiled and mumbled hellos before taking their seats across from the two of them in the booth. 

“I gotta say I was way nervous when Harper mentioned hanging out with some guy from work,” Chase said with a little laugh. He was a good-looking guy, tall, dark hair, dark skin with a sharp jaw, kind eyes, and a bright smile. “But finding out that you’re gay is a serious relief. Especially with how good looking you are. And foreign. Shit, that’d be like a package deal for her. For anyone. Shit, Babe, maybe you need to be worried about me.” 

“Haha, very funny,” Harper said, rolling her eyes and grabbing onto his arm. “I did tell you he’d be here with his husband, though, so you should’ve already known that. Maaaaybe if you listened to me a little more.”

“This was one of those things I had to see with my own eyes,” Chase said, nudging her playfully before wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “I mean, guys can totally pretend to be gay to get you alone.”

“And you probably say that because it’s some play you used in the past,” The friend, Paige said, jokingly along as if part of third wheel was a pretty common role for her. Isak couldn’t imagine being the only single one at the table with happy couples. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, he knew Chris talked alot about powerful and single women who didn’t need men. But Isak was glad he didn’t have to be a woman because he never wanted to be alone. Especially not after having Even. 

“I don’t even understand how that would work,” Isak said, trying to keep up with the conversation instead of overthinking Paige’s situation. “I mean, if a girl thinks you’re gay, then that’s it. How are you going to get in her pants?” 

“I’d say there are a few ways to go about it,” Chase said with a little shrug, as if this was very thought through and obvious for him. “You could tell her you’re gay, invite her over, kiss her, tell her you’re not sure, and then she’ll want to experiment. Or you could tell her you’re gay but you want to know what it’s like to be with a girl. But I’d say the former would end with more accuracy.” 

“I think you’d have to be stupid to fall for that,” Paige said with a sigh. “Unfortunately there’s a few of them out there, getting taken advantage of like that. Those poor, defenseless girls.” 

“And guys, because there are definitely some gay guys who pull the _questioning_ card to get laid,” Even said, laughing a little a rolling his eyes. “Our friend, Eskild has pulled that one a few times. But it’s probably a little easier in that case. Seeing as most guys just want to get laid anyway.” 

“Amen, Dude,” Chase said with a laugh, putting up his hand and giving Even a high five. 

“Guess that answers the question of who’s the guy in your relationship,” Harper said with a laugh, looking at Isak apologetically. “I feel your pain.” 

“Actually, I’m pretty sure I want sex more often out of the two of us,” Isak said, always hating that statement and always running into it. And somehow he was always the girl in the relationship to everyone else. “I’d say we’re definitely both guys in this relationship. It’s probably why it works, you know, seeing as I’m gay.”

“Sorry I didn’t mean it like that,” Harper said, blushing and embarrassed. Isak probably should’ve cooled it with the sass while he was testing the waters with a new crowd. It was difficult though, after so many years of hearing the same question, he heard it and his sass just immediately kicked in. Harper scratched her neck nervously and looked at Paige. “Hey is Brandy still coming?” 

“She can’t make it,” Paige said with a shrug, “I think it has something to do with that guy again. I’m sure we’ll hear all about it tomorrow.” 

“She’s such a flake,” Harper sighed, obviously trying to recover from Isak’s sass, and Isak had a quick shot of panic, thinking he already ruined his relationship with his coworker. But the she seemed to just shake it off, putting on a smile and looking back at Isak and Even. “Have you guys found a surrogate? Even and Isak are her to have a baby. Isn’t that exciting?” 

“Totally,” Chase said excitedly, sitting forward. “Dudes, I donate sperm, I can totally give you some.” 

“We’ve actually got plenty of that to go around,” Isak said, trying not to make a face and further mess up their little get together. “But yeah, we’ve got a surrogate, she seems great and the insemination appointment is actually really soon, so everything’s in motion.” 

“That’s so exciting,” Paige said, clapping her hands. “But why did you come out here?” 

“It’s cheaper,” Even told her with a shrug. “Plus we’ve never been out here and we like to travel. So we thought we’d travel one last time before the baby comes and we’re completely consumed by tiny feet and onesies.” 

“That’s some fair reasoning,” Paige told them, tucking some hair behind her ear. “Definitely let us know if you need some tour guides. We know some pretty cool sites and places so we can definitely help out. Well, if we find that you’re cool too.” 

 

Isak liked Harper and her friends, he did, but they probably wouldn’t be his first choice. They were nice, said some funny things, and teased each other the way Isak’s friends back in Oslo would. But they could also be obnoxious, and a little rude when it came to their surroundings. Kind of like they thought they were the only people in the room. They liked attention, to talk over one another, and Isak didn’t really get to say much, but Even managed to figure out the flow of conversation and seemed to really get along with Chase. 

“Thanks, Dude,” Even said as Isak handed him a bottle of water from the fridge. He’d grabbed one for each of them, making sure to hydrate before bed after drinking all night. Isak blinked and looked at him for a second, trying to figure out if his ears deceived him. He’d heard a lot of “dudes” from Chase that night, and Even had played along a few times, but did he just call _Isak_ that? He hadn’t called him that since they started dating.

“What did you just call me?” Isak finally asked, raising an eyebrow and putting a hand on his hip. Even was sitting off the edge on his side of the bed, looking up at him with a guilty little smile. “ _You_ just called me _Dude_. I am so not your fucking _dude_.” 

“It slipped, Baby,” Even said sweetly, taking Isak’s finger that was jabbing him in the chest and taking his hand in his own. “I’ve never heard that word so many times in my life, it was bound to happen. But you are so _not_ my fucking dude. You’re my fucking _husband_. The fucking love of my life.” 

“And you’re fucking forgiven,” Isak said, tossing his bottle of water onto the bed and then pushing him back and crawling on top of him. Knees beside his hips, hands square with his shoulders beside his head as he leaned down and kissed him. He bit on his lip as he pulled back, tugging on it and looking at him. “You liked them, then, right? You and Chase seemed to hit it off like bros do.” 

“Chase is cool, I wonder about his guy friends, assuming he has any,” Even said, moving a little underneath Isak and then placing a hand up under his shirt. “But you much preferred the gays, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” Isak admitted, not that it was the gay portion that he liked so much better, but it was the same truth. “We’ll talk to Colette and Dr. Carter and see what the usual protocol is for that and what they think. But I wouldn’t mind hanging out with them again. I can handle it. Just probably in small doses.” 

“Cool, now is this matter solved? I’d really like to go back to the kissing,” Even said, his other hand reaching up and running through his hair until it was on the back of his head to help him guide his lips back down onto his. 

 

 _Monday, Aug 5_  
*  
With Isak’s permission, Even invited over Colette for dinner on Monday. It was just two days until their appointment and Even was starting to feel a little tense. He was very excited and very scared and both of the emotions were trying to battle it out in a never ending duel. His plan was to spend Monday making triple sure of their choice in Colette, and then Tuesday actually having a conversation about what the next day could mean for them, for their future. 

Colette was there before Isak and Even was still making dinner, so they were chatting and she was helping out dinner. Just talking to her with ease was calming, they really did seem to get along so well. Totally compatible. 

“I shouldn’t even say this but I actually think that they are hooking up,” Even said, turning the stove on low and then moving to lean against the counter as he looked down at Colette. They were talking about how Dex apparently wanted to hang out with the two of them again and Even couldn’t help but bring up Dex’s little joke about Chuck’s status. “Or maybe even in a relationship. There was some serious chemistry. And neither one of them tried to hook up all night and they left together. Easy analysis.” 

“All that gaydar going off in your head but I just don’t think you’re right,” Colette said, shaking her head and tucking some hair behind her ear. “Chuck is...too…religious, I guess. It took him forever to accept Taylor. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.” 

“You just heightened my thought on the fact that I’m totally right,” Even said, smiling and turning back around. “He could not be over the whole Jesus thing or maybe he doesn’t want to be a hypocrite. Or maybe that’s why he was mad to begin with. She got to come out and he didn’t. Who knows.” 

“Please tell me you’re going to help me figure this out because now I _need_ to know,” Colette said with a little laugh, pushing her hair back and looking at the floor. “Without, you know, forcing him. Don’t think I’m that cruel. I get it.” 

“Of course you do,” Even said, finally turning off the stove and moving the pan off the hot burner before turning to face her again. She had sort of come out to Even and Isak the other day, but it was a little confusing as to her actual sexuality, but she was into Mallory. For sure. “So, what are you afraid of? Isak tells me he was afraid of coming out because he thought it’d make his feelings for me obvious. And he didn’t want to ruin our friendship. Is it like that but with Mallory?” 

“I don’t even actually know how I feel about Mallory, so I don’t think she’d ever know,” Colette said, obviously very back and forth on the subject. “I don’t _come out_ because I don’t know what to _come out_ as. Look at the world we live in. There’s so many different sexualities and I don’t understand them all. I used to at least _know_ when I liked a person but I don’t even know that anymore. I question everything. But I know that Mallory is always there. She’s always been there. And she’s amazing.” 

“Sounds like it could be serious, but I get the hesitation,” Even said, seriously understanding. Coming to the term “pansexual” was a journey in itself. So he definitely understood not knowing what to identify as. He took her by the shoulders and gave her a nice gentle shake and a smile. “Just try to loosen up about it. Don’t worry and let your heart do the talking. You don’t even need to know what you identify as. You can like who you like and leave it there. So loosen up. Seriously.” 

“I’ll try,” Colette said with a smile, and a pretty genuine one at that, a good sign that she was already taking his advice. 

“Ask anyone, I’m the love master, I’m so good at this,” Even said, letting her go and then turning around to the cabinets to get out their dishes for dinner. He got out three of them and set them on the counter as Isak walked through the door with a smile on his face. “Welcome home, Baby!” 

“Hi, good to see your pretty face,” Isak said, striding over to him and giving him a kiss before turning to Colette. “Nice to see you, too. Sorry I’m a little late. Traffic. But dinner smells amazing.”

“And you smell like a doctor’s office,” Even said with a little smile. He always did when he came home, but it’d wear off. He didn’t mind it, actually. It was a lot better for him to associate the smell of doctors offices and hospitals with Isak instead of some of the other things he could associate it with. “But if you guys want to take your seats, I’ll start serving.”

“Do you want help?” Colette offered up with a willful smile. 

“That’s alright, sit, please,” Even insisted, starting to plate their meal as the two of them walked over to the table. 

“Even likes to please and serve,” Isak said with a little undertone that Even assumed was only for him, and hoped that only he heard. But he just laughed to himself and bit his lip, picking up both of their plates and bringing them over to the table for them. When he set Isak’s down, he gave him a look and he smiled back. 

“Before you got here, Colette and I were talking,” Even said as he walked over, grabbing their silverware and a plate for himself before sitting down with them. “And it was just reminding me of how perfect a choice she is for us. She’s honest. Real. I like it.”  
*

_Wednesday, Aug 7_

First, Even and Isak had to provide their semen samples, and then the three of them were sitting in examination room with Dr. Carter. It was time for any and all final questions before they went through with this. Of course, not everyone got pregnant their first round at this, but the odds were fairly good with Colette. The agency only took on surrogates with good fertility chances, so it was fairly probable that the first time would be the charm.

“So, are we ready for this?” Dr. Carter had just come into the room with Even and Isak’s combined sample and it was their first time seeing her that morning, but she was bright and smiley as usual. “It’s a pretty exciting day, right?”

“Absolutely,” Even answered, squeezing Isak’s hand tight. Isak looked at him and smiled. Of course it was exciting, of course they were ready. Full of nerves, but he’d be more worried if he wasn’t. “We were just wondering about the relationship between us and Colette. How normal is it to be friends?” 

“Extremely normal,” Dr. Carter said immediately, setting down her clipboard and looking at the three of them with a soft smile. “It’s good to get along with your surrogate. Obviously that means it’s a good match and because of that, relationships are bound to form. Of course, what happens after the baby is born is up to you. There is no right or wrong way to proceed, though. Let me be clear about that. As long as the child is loved and taken care of, you’re doing everything right. Don’t spend time worrying about your relationship with Colette.” 

“Noted,” Isak said, looking at Colette and smiling small. “We’ll leave the room and let you do your thing, then. We’ll wait right outside.” 

They gave Colette hugs and left the room. They could’ve stayed in there but they both agreed that it was a little too weird. They even thought it was a little weird that they were going to spend the day with her afterward while things were going on inside her. But there they were, doing it because they were so happy and so excited for this. 

“Everything changes after today,” Even said when they were outside, taking Isak by the hips and pulling him in. Isak let him and wrapped his own arms around Even’s neck, looking up at him excitedly. “And I just want to say that I love you so damn much.” 

“I love you too, so damn much,” Isak told him, moving to press his forehead to Even’s and not being able to help but smile. “And I am so damn ready. Let’s do this, Baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always comments and kudos are super welcome ily and thanks for dropping in.


	11. Two Is Better Than One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, I'm really sorry I'm updating so slowly. Every three weeks is not sufficient and it makes me feel behind. But it may stay this way for a little bit as I can't seem to shake being busy with stupid things.  
> But thank you to all who are still reading and commenting, I promise I'm writing this through till the end, no matter how slow the process is.

_Monday, Aug 19_

“We know that you know, Colette,” Even said with a little laugh and eye roll. They were in her car on the way to their appointment to confirm the pregnancy. Colette took a couple at-home tests and was late on her period so the chances were high, they’d admit, but everyone needed the medical diagnosis. “You know the agency is just going to want us to confirm, and then of course Dr. Carter will be able to estimate a due date so we need this appointment.” 

“Besides, from here on out you’ll be needing prenatal visits monthly, then eventually weekly,” Isak informed her, though he was pretty sure she already knew. “So this appointment is just the start. You can’t start protesting now.” 

“I just think it’s stupid _confirming_ what I already know, especially with all the evidence to back it up,” Colette told them as she pulled up to the doctor’s office, grabbing a parking spot before the three of them got out of the car. “I’m all up for the prenatal appointments, though. Making sure the baby is healthy will be my number one priority.” 

“Keep yourself healthy too,” Even said, smiling and grabbing onto Isak’s hand. There was an excitement in the air surrounding them. They hadn’t told anyone yet about how sure they were of the pregnancy just yet. Not their family, not their friends. And they weren’t even planning on telling that many people until they were a little further in. They didn’t want to jinx anything. 

“I know, I know,” Colette gave him a playful look and then grabbed their clasped hands, pulling the two of them behind her. “So, come on, let’s go get this pregnancy on the road and then definitely go out to lunch because I’m starved. Do I technically get to say I’m eating for two or is that like a second trimester thing?” 

“No, Colette, you’re literally eating for two,” Isak said, a little worried that she didn’t know that. He’d been under the impression that she was ready for pregnancy, read up on it, even. I mean, if she didn’t know that the baby needed her nutrients from day one. “But right now, technically you don’t have to eat more food, your body is just going to become more efficient and..”

“Isak, I know, relax,” Colette said with a knowing smile as they got into the office. “Here, sit, I’ll go sign us in.”

~  
“Oh my God, I am _so_ happy for you guys,” Mallory said as she got into Colette’s car. After the appointment, they were celebrating and of course for Colette, that meant inviting Mallory. Out of courtesy, she also invited Taylor. But it was just Mallory hopping into the passenger’s seat next to Colette. “I’m sorry Taylor couldn’t make it but she has some family things, but who the fuck cares because we are going to have so much damn fun tonight. Who else are we inviting?” 

“Actually, we’re keeping it on the down low, for now,” Even said with a little shrug. “It’s still early so we don’t really want to jinx things. So, just you and my parents for now. We’ll work on telling everyone else as things progress.” 

“Well, I don’t know if I can keep a secret from Taylor but other than that, my lips are totally sealed,” Mallory said, looking at Colette then turning in her seat to look back at Isak and Even. “But you know this is like really safe because Colette is fertile and healthy and nothing is going to—” 

“ _Mal_ please, don’t jinx it,” Colette said in a warning tone, looking over at her then back on the road as if she were mostly disinterested besides that one bullet point, but sighing and going on anyway when the car went silent for a moment. “Besides, you’ve got to give them some time, too. I mean, they’re becoming parents. That’s terrifying. So they can wait until I’m ready to pop to tell people for all I care.” 

“God, Colette, you are way too good a person, I swear,” Mallory said with a little laugh, turning her head to look back out her own window. “A super fertile, insanely attractive girl, holding a baby for someone else when you don’t even want to have one of your own.” 

“Do you want kids, Mallory?” Isak asked, not wanting to really talk about Colette’s baby-related dreams when she was holding one for them. He didn’t want her to think about those aspirations and want to change her mind on the whole plan. He hoped he wouldn’t be afraid like this through the whole pregnancy, wondering if something was going to happen to change the outcome for the worse. 

“Yeah, maybe someday,” Mallory said, nodding a little. “Not saying you two are too young, since I’m a year older than Even. But I’m just not ready. Not settled. And Taylor would need a lot of convincing and I’m just not ready to put in that kind of effort just to put in more effort because children are so much work. I’d adopt, though, I think. I don’t really want to be pregnant. Colette’s crazy. No offense.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, but I’m excited,” Colette said and Isak was happy to be sitting diagnal to her because he saw the smile on her face and it suddenly eased him. “I know everyone thinks this is about the money. But now especially that I’ve met and gotten to know these two… I don’t know, it feels good to be giving them this _gift_ , I guess. It’s a little hard to explain and I don’t want to get too cheesy, so we’ll just go with excited.” 

“Like I said,” Mallory said, turning around and giving Even and Isak a knowing look in the back seat. “She is way too good a person. Just know that you guys got lucky with this one.” 

“We feel pretty lucky,” Even said with a smile, wrapping his arm around Isak tighter and turning his head so their faces were close. “Right, Baby?” 

“Absolutely,” Isak said with a smile, though maybe he wasn’t quite up to the height of Even’s feelings, he definitely was feeling a little lucky. Always lucky with Even and now with Colette, things were officiaclly clicking, too.

 

 _Friday, Sept 13_  
*  
They had a lot of plans that Friday. They were going to the movies with Chuck and Dex, then there was a little pre-party with Chuck, Dex, Chase and Chase’s friend Peter, before they’d head to Colette’s for a Friday the 13th themed party. Even was excited for some fun, having been working so hard with reading up on things about pregnancy—to make sure he was on the same page as the annoying smarts of both Isak and Colette—on top of killing it at his actual job, he needed a little fun. 

But during the movies with Dex and Chuck, Even started feeling a little frustrated. The four of them were sitting center in the back of the theatre, Isak to Even’s left, Chuck to his right and Dex next to him. The two of them were friends, if you asked them, Chuck straight, Dex _pining_ because he was one of those guys people pined after—and he knew that about himself. But that night, it was like they were making it obvious to Even, and possibly only to Even, that there was a lot more going on. 

Usually, he’d be more focused on Isak, where their hands were touching each other, rubbing his arm or hold him close during scary parts. He still was and still did, kind of. But he was honestly more focused on the two of them. Noticing their game of footsy, their hands brushing and disappearing at their sides. Not to mention their obvious-but-staggered trips for snacks and the bathroom. Dex getting up for the bathroom and then three minutes later Chuck leaving to get more popcorn. 

It was like they were begging him to notice and he was trying so hard not to force Chuck out of the closet but it seemed ridiculous at this point. They were outing themselves. He was so back and forth on whether or not he’d say something until he accidentally blurted it out. 

“I feel like you guys want me to know,” It was after the movie, they were back at Even and Isak’s place, waiting on Chase and Peter to start the pre-party. Isak had just gone to the bathroom and Even had just witnessed Chuck give Dex a pretty damn lusty look. “And that you’re begging me to say something. Or you’re really bad at hiding things. In which case I’m sorry for bringing it up and I won’t tell anyone.” 

Dexter gave Chuck a look and bit his lip while Chuck looked down and took a deep breath, the dramatics making Even sure that he was right. What he was saying wasn’t an illusion. They were coming out tonight. At least to Even. Probably Isak too. 

“It’s kind of a lot, honestly,” Chuck finally said, looking at Even in the eyes, his gaze glazed with a scared sincerity. “I’ve uh, been pushing it away for awhile, but a couple weeks ago we were playing super smash bros and, well, we kissed. We didn’t start actually dating until last week, and I’m not really ready to tell Taylor or anyone else for good reason. Not because I’m some homophobe, anyway. Please don’t think that’s what it is. I _wanted_ to tell someone, that’s what this is. I thought telling you and Isak was a good idea. To start with, anyway.” 

“So that’s why you haven’t been holding back,” Even said with a little laugh, scratching the back of his head and letting the tension in his shoulders collapse. “God you were frustrating the hell out of me, I gotta say. Isak too, probably. Though his gaydar isn’t as good and he can be oblivious.” 

“Excuse me, I am not,” Isak said as he came back into the room, rubbing his hands on his pants, probably drying off excess water. He looked at the three of them and raised his eyebrow. “I totally just missed Chuck coming out, didn’t I? Damn it, you guys couldn’t wait until after I took a piss? I love that kind of stuff, all the emotion and feels are very reminiscent, nostalgic.” 

~  
Even and Isak dressed as black cats for the Friday the 13th party. Tight black skinny jeans, tight, black turtlenecks, cat ears and tails, with whiskers and cat eyes to top it off. There were a few others as black cats that Even and Isak didn’t know, but Even would say that they were definitely the hottest of them all. Although he may have been biased, he still thought so, especially with all the time he found himself checking out Isak from across the room

“And what are you drinking tonight, Colette?” Chase asked her as he was making something for himself. Even and Isak had beers in hand and were leaning against the counter. They raised their eyebrows and watched the exchange. 

“See the sparkling water in the fridge? That’s _all_ mine,” Colette said with a smile, walking over and grabbing a bottle of it, setting it down beside Chase and looking into his cup at his vodka mixture. “Which is still somehow less girly than your drink.” 

“Say that all you want, but _this_ is going to get me fuckin’ wasted,” Chase said with a smile, taking a swig of it then letting out a breathy “aahhhh.” 

“That’s the spirit,” Colette said with a laugh and an eyeroll before looking across the room at Even and Isak and smiling. 

“If it’s the spirit, you should be getting drunk, too,” Chase said, grabbing a solo cup and wiggling it in his hands. “One night of drinking isn’t going to fuck the baby up, right guys?” 

“Uh, not right,” Isak said, walking over and taking the cup from him. Even knew Isak didn’t like Chase and his _bro vibes_ , but Even liked him. He could have stupid kind of fun with him, which was cool. But with this, Even completely agreed with Isak. “Please don’t try to peer pressure her into it. I know she’s smart enough to say no but it’s a dick move on your part.” 

“Jeez Isak, okay, don’t get your panties in a bunch,” Chase said with a little eyeroll and another swig of his drink. Even could tell by the look on Isak’s face that he was pissed. He didn’t think he’d do or say anything, but Even decided not to take the chances. So, he grabbed Isak’s waist and turned to Colette. 

“So we don’t know like, seventy-five percent of these people,” Even said to her, looking past the doorway into the crowded room behind her. “Maybe a little introducing could be fun. We don’t know too many straight people in the area.”  
*

_Thursday, Oct 3_

Isak left his Residency early that day because they had their first ultrasound appointment and he was definitely not missing that. They were going to see their baby for the first time, even if it didn’t look like much. And what was more than that was that they’d be able to hear the heartbeat. The heartbeat of the life Isak and Even were bringing into the world to raise and care for and look after for the rest of their lives. 

Every time they took another step in this surrogacy, it made things feel more real. Like every step pushed it into motion over and over again, but this one felt different. This made it real. They were close to the second semester, and so far it had been pretty clear-cut. Everything came as expected, the morning sickness, mood swings, fatigue, some food aversions, some cravings, and so much more that literally went right by the book. If the rest of the pregnancy went this way, there wouldn’t be any bumps or unexpected turns. 

And Isak was kind of ready for absolute smooth sailing. 

Isak and Even were pretty lucky in love, and their relationship was smooth even when it wasn’t, but it seemed that the past year had tried to forge some rocks and bumps. It felt really good that they’d left that to sail forward into this new future as a family of their own. Maybe it was exactly what they needed to keep everything smooth. He’d hope for it to be an omen for the way the rest of their life would go. 

Starting after his terrible uber ride from his residency to the doctor’s office, anyway. He knew he was late so once the car was to a full stop, he jumped out without a word and rushed into the office and through the doors. When he saw Even sitting there in the waiting room with a smile, he felt relieved. They hadn’t been called in without him. The Uber and traffic didn’t ruin this for him. 

“Sorry, the traffic here is insane,” Isak said, grabbing the seat next to Even and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. “How long have you guys been here?”

“Like, twenty minutes, we just let someone go in before us,” Even said calmly, a small teasing smile on his face. “Because we didn’t want to go in without you because you’d be pissed. And also maybe because I wouldn’t want to experience this without you.” 

“Let’s just hope that his lateness isn’t a testament to how he will be when the time comes,” Colette teased, patting her stomach and looking at the two of them with a knowing smile. “Because I am totally not going to be letting other women in front of me then. And if you would’ve been pissed about this, just imagine missing the birth of your first born. I’d be so glad not to be around for that.” 

“I’m not _that_ pissy,” Isak said, squinting his eyes at he and shaking his head. He freaked out in front of her _one_ time when Even invited over Chase and Peter without Isak’s permission and proceeded to trash the apartment while Isak was at work. He didn’t say anything until the boys were out and then exploded in front of Colette after it’d been bubbling up for hours. And Colette found it hilarious. “Okay, maybe I’d be pissy if I missed the birth but I’d be pissy with traffic. Maybe the baby for not waiting.”

“Mr. Bech Næsheim, is your party ready yet?” A nurse asked as she opened up the door to the waiting room. When she set eyes on the three of them, focusing in on Isak, she smiled wide. “I’d say yes, because this handsome young man seems to be the one you described.” 

“Yeah, this is my husband,” Even said then turned to Isak and wiggled his eyebrows as they stood. “I may have talked about you just a little.” 

“Well, that could be good and bad, but if you stuck to my charm and good looks…” Isak told Even as the nurse ushered the three of them through the door and down the hallway. “...then we’re good. If not, I may have to kick your ass later.” 

“Well, it wasn’t so bad,” Colette said as the nurse opened the door to a room for the three of them, the lights flashing on with the motion of the door. Colette hopped up onto the counter and looked at Even and Isak as they took seats next to her, “It was something along the lines of,” and here she took on Even’s accent and pretended to be him, “ _My beautiful husband will be here very soon, he’s very beautiful but very easily upset and he wants to be here for this so we have to wait_.” 

“He keeps my ego pretty high with all the compliments,” Isak said, laughing with the rest of them at Colette’s impression. After they settled down a little, he smiled and took Even’s hand so he could kiss the back of it. “As for being easily upset, I still think this would have been a pretty reasonable circumstance to be upset about missing.” 

“Oh definitely,” the Nurse said, Isak having almost forgot that she's was there in the midst of their conversation. She was probably just looking for a cue to jump in, “hearing your baby's heartbeat and and seeing them for the first time is quite momentous. Dr. Carter is very excited to share the experience with you and she'll be in, in just a few moments.” 

The nurse did a few standard check-up things, like checking Colette's temperature and blood pressure and listening to her heartbeat as she took deep breaths, and then left the three of them in the room, waiting for Dr. Carter. Isak moved himself into Even’s lap and wrapped his arms around his neck, smiling at him, so happy, feeling an excitement fill his chest. 

“Good afternoon everyone,” Dr. Carter said as she came into the room not ten minutes later. “Are we ready to see this baby for the first time?” 

“You have no idea,” Even said, squeezing Isak’s sides where he held him and kissing the side of his face. “I don’t think I slept at all last night.” 

“Well, we love excitement but we also love a good night’s sleep,” Dr. Carter said with a smile as she put on gloves and started getting things out of drawers. “Now, Colette, I’m going to need you to lay down and lift your shirt so your tummy is exposed. Just above the ribs if you could.” 

“And then you’re going to put the cold jelly stuff on my stomach which somehow helps you see the baby,” Colette said as she lifted her shirt and laid back. Isak couldn’t help but look at her stomach for a moment as she lay. He really wasn’t noticing any difference in her weight, he definitely didn’t see a bump, but there was a baby in there and Colette _was_ apparently noticing some sort of weight gain. 

“That’s right, do you have any questions about it before we begin?” Dr. Carter asked, holding the tube with the ultrasound gel and sitting down in a rolly chair next to Colette. The three of them shook their heads, so she started applying the gel. “Now, it’s still very, very early, the baby isn’t going to look like much, it’s really just going to be about the size of a blueberry and will require magnification. But the benefits of this will be that we can hear the heartbeat and make sure there’s nothing abnormal going on. We’ll also be able to better determine your due date.” 

“Awesome,” Even said enthusiastically, though all three of them already knew this because of all the research Isak had done and then unloaded onto them. He had a lot to unload at each stage. He even knew that in other circumstances, during this ultrasound, they’d be checking on her reproductive organs to see if they could handle the pregnancy, but in this case they knew that beforehand. 

“Alright,” Dr. Carter said, flipping on the monitor then running the transducer over her skin and beginning to look for the baby. Even and Isak both got up, getting closer to the screen and Colette. Even’s held one of Isak’s clammy hands and squeezed tight as they watched in silent anticipation. There was a bunch of nothing and then a small dot. “Ah-ha,” Dr. Carter mumbled before enlarging the screen. 

“Is that the baby?” Isak blurted out, his heart beating fast as he looked at the screen, demanding the answer that he was pretty sure he already knew. He couldn’t help but reach out with his other hand and take Colette’s and then Even did the same, two hands now holding one of her’s while their own clasped tight together between them.

“That is your baby, guys,” Dr. Carter said with a smile, turning her head and smiling at the boys. “And are you ready to hear the heartbeat?” 

“Ja, ja, please,” Even said when Isak could only nod, so stunned by the moment. Nothing about any of this ever felt so real. Like, actually, physically, literally, really real. It really was nothing. A small, little blueberry. But his blueberry, _their_ blueberry. 

“Alright,” Dr. Carter said and Colette squeezed their hands, looking up at them. Isak was so happy for her to be the one there with them. Somehow, she was perfect. And they watched while Dr. Carter searched for the heartbeat. And then it was filling the room with a quiet _thud-thud, thud-thud, thud-thud._

“Wait…” Isak said, wiping the tears forming in his eyes as he heard something else. 

“There’s two,” Dr. Carter said, hearing it at the same time Isak did. He eyes widened a little and she set down the tool, looking at Colette. “I’d like to confirm that. Can you roll over on to your right side for fifteen seconds, then on to your left for another fifteen, then back center?” 

“Yeah, of course,” Colette said, her face just as panicky as the rest of them felt. Two heartbeats. The chances for twins were so slim that Isak hadn’t even played with the thought. They didn’t run in anyone’s family, including Colette’s, according to her profile. It was impossible. It was less than one percent of a chance, he was pretty sure less it than one-half percent of a chance, even. 

“Isak, ow,” Even said quietly, shaking his hand off and then wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pulling him close. Isak must’ve been squeezing too hard, his nails were probably digging into Even’s skin and he hadn’t even noticed. Even kissed the side of his head and talked quietly in his ear, “It’s okay. Deep breaths.” 

“Alright, now that it’s a little shaken up in there, maybe we’ll get to see two,” Dr. Carter said, still smiling, still excited as she searched again. And then, there it was. Very close together, but still definitely two separate dots. She zoomed in a little further, looked at the screen, then smiled at them again. “Twins. We never discussed twins with you guys. How do you feel about twins?” 

“What’s the chance that one of them was fertilized with Isak’s sperm and the other with mine?” Even asked, eyes wide and excited. Apparently he wasn’t as freaked out about the idea as Isak was. He was looking up, being the optimist. 

“Well, they’re very close together, so it’s I’d say it’s more likely they’re identical, which would mean one sperm, two eggs, but we can’t know for certain this early on,” Dr. Carter said, leaning back and pointing to the screen. “Eventually, I’ll be able to see whether or not they’re sharing a placenta around them like so. We’ll be able to tell that at about twelve weeks, but even then the chances will always be fifty-fifty.” 

“Okay, cool, twins are cool anyway,” Even said, turning Isak in his arms and taking his chin to look him in the eyes, “What do you think about that, Baby?” 

“I think that means double the everything,” Isak said, trying to be calm about all of this but finding it kind of hard. There was nothing they could do about it so it was fine, it was absolutely going to be fine. It just wasn’t the smooth he’d been hoping for. It required a whole new plan and he was freaking the fuck out about that. But he’d talk it over with Even later, not now. He wouldn’t lose it in front of the doctor and Colette. “Including the love, so it has to be good.” 

“That’s the spirit,” Dr. Carter said with a smile. “So, let’s talk a little about this, then…”  
-

“So it’s going to take longer to pay your Dad back, but we still will, Baby,” Even said, shaking Isak’s shoulders a little. They were home, in their room and Isak officially freaked. What about the costs? How were they ever going to find babysitters who wanted to take care of _two_ infants, _two_ toddlers at once? There would be so much. So. Damn. Much. That Isak hadn’t even begun to think of yet. But one thing he _knew_ he could focus on, and the most obvious, was the cost. 

“What if we can’t?” Isak was panicking, letting Even hold his shoulders tight, keeping him close as if it could stabilize the panic. “What if he’s stuck holding it over our heads forever? Over our children’s heads forever? And speaking of the plural of child, I was thinking we’d max two, not start out with two! Now you’ll probably want three, right? Fy faen, Even how are we going to do it?” 

“No one said anything about three, let’s not even think about that,” Even said, now circling his arms around Isak’s back and laying back onto the bed with him. He rolled over on top of Isak, whose feet were still dangling off the bed, and looked down at him. “I haven’t even thought about that. Let’s think about this. Yes, it’s going to be expensive. Yes, we already owe your Dad and you wanted to pay him back as soon as possible. But I’m actually making good money right now. And you will be so soon, even if I’m not then. And Terje is fine, he won’t care how slow or fast we repay him.” 

“What about him holding it over our family’s head for forever?” 

“I’ll talk to him if I have to, I’ll talk to Lisa if I have to,” Even said calmly, leaning down and pecking his lips a couple times. “We’ll figure it out. Let’s not freak out about it all at once right now. We’ll make a financial plan. We will figure this out.” 

 

 _Thursday, Oct 31_  
*  
“Thanks so much again for helping set up,” Taylor said as she led Isak and Even down the hallway to the spare bedroom of her and Mallory’s apartment, where they could change into their costumes for the evening. They came over early because they party was changed last-minute from Dexter’s place to theirs, and they had zero decorations up. So Even and Isak came over right after work that day, helping them get the place ready. 

“We don’t mind, we love Halloween,” Even told her with a smile as they walked into the room, setting down the bags with their costumes in them while Taylor leaned up against the door frame. 

“I have yet to meet a gay guy who doesn’t,” She said with a laugh and a little eye roll before taking a step back into the hallway. “Anyway, take your time getting ready, this whole hallway will be off limits so you have time even after everyone starts showing up. But before you fuck on the bed, Chuck stayed here a few nights ago and I’m pretty sure he had a girl in here who snuck out by morning, so I can only imagine how clean she may have been. Anyway, we haven’t washed the sheets yet because he’s usually the only one who stays anymore.”

“Got it,” Even said, laughing a little and shaking his head. He knew that Colette used to be a frequent visitor but she’d been staying with them on those late nights now. He also knew that if Chuck had anyone in there, it was Dex. Which would make a lot of sense if he had snuck out in the morning before the girls woke up. 

“Do you think Mallory and Taylor are upset about Colette not being around as often?” Isak asked he started to pull his costume out of his bag. They were doing couples costumes as per usual, this year Even being a magician and Isak being his lovely assistant. He had a red, sparkly sequin top with tight black leather pants that he’d wear. “I mean, really I think it’s been healthy for her.” 

“I’m not sure, Isak,” Even said, biting his lip and watching him take off his top. “Honestly, it’s not really our problem, it’s theirs. They’ll all work it out eventually. Besides, we’ve got a problem of our own here tonight.” 

“We do?” Isak asked, raising an eyebrow and walking over to Even’s bag, pulling out his costume, “You’ve got everything, what’s the problem?” 

“I just realized that I’m going to have to watch you in that fucking costume in those fucking pants _all night long_ ,” Even said walking over and taking Isak’s hips from behind, reaching around and undoing the button and zipper on his jeans. “You’re not even wearing them yet and I’m hard from the thought.” 

“Why do you think I chose the be the lovely assistant,” Isak said lowly, slowly spinning around in his arms and looking up at him. “You showed me the _idea_ for the costume and I was hard just thinking of you in it. I thought you accepting meant you’d be able to handle yourself.” 

“You’re ass is going to look _amazing_ ,” Even told him with a little groan, sliding his hands down the back of his pants and squeezing his ass over the fabric of his boxers. “How about a little show for me, please?” 

“Hmmm,” Isak said, thinking about it then pulling back with a playful little smirk. “Go into the corner over there, face the wall and I’ll tell you when you can turn around. Oh, and to do something for me...take off your shirt.” 

Even laughed and immediately followed the instruction, pulling back and removing his shirt.He gave Isak a little flex and a wink—which he’d honestly feel silly doing in front of everyone else due to his lack of muscle-mass. For Isak, though, he knew that he loved what he saw, so he’d confidently flex any part of his body for him and watch him swoon. And he did, but then promptly pushed him back a little, spinning him around and guiding him into the corner with a slap on the ass. 

“So, do you want the outfit in full effect? Or just the pants because of my ass?” Isak asked, his voice getting further away from his as he walked away from Even in the corner and over to his costume. 

“Start with the pants, give me a little show in just them, and then add the shirt,” Even said, pressing a hand to the wall to lean against it, but being good and not peaking as Isak quietly removed clothes over by the bed. 

“You realize you’re asking me to reverse-strip?” Isak asked, sounding so very amused by Even’s instruction. It made Even want to spin around and grab his waist and kiss the grin he surely had away. He was actually almost antsy. 

“I know what I’m asking, but this isn’t a strip show, it’s a fashion show,” Even said, tapping his fingers on the wall. “To get the first look at how sexy you’re going to be all night.” 

“Okay, well, give me just a few moments, then,” Isak said, walking up to him and sliding his hand up his back and giving the base of his neck a squeeze. “Stay, right here. In this corner. I need to get Mallory’s help with something real quick if you’re going to see the costume in full.” 

“How about I change then and you knock when you get back,” Even suggested, staying facing the corner but reaching around for him, finding his hip, noting that he was still shirtless but in his pants. _Those_ pants. He could turn around right now and spoil it all just to see, but he balled his hand against the wall into a fist and held back.

“Okay, fine, but it really shouldn’t be too long,” Isak said, then kissed his neck before stepping back, letting Even’s arm fall and letting his fingertips linger on his back for just a moment longer. Then he left the room, to do whatever he was doing for his costume, leaving Even alone to do the same. 

Suits in general had so many parts to them, and a magicians suit was no different, but he went cheap and opted for a three-piece with a tail and a top hat. He had some flowers up his sleeve and hankies in his pocket for tricks but that was about it. So he had enough time to get it together and try to situate his hair so it’d look good in the top-hat before Isak was back and knocking on the door. 

“I’m not looking, you can come in,” Even said once he was safely back in the corner, leaning against the wall. 

“Are you in the corner?” 

“Yes, I’m in the corner,” Even said, snickering to himself and rolling his eyes. Isak’s form of dominance was always so cute.

“Okay,” Isak siad, slowly coming back into the room, and Even was sure that he slowly peaked in to make sure Even was telling the truth that he had to laugh to himself a little bit more. “Alright, let me get situated. Hmm... okay… hmmm, okay okay yeah, now. Now you can turn.” 

Even smiled and slowly turned around, keeping himself up against the corner. Isak was posed shirtless on the edge of the bed. His legs were crossed and his hands rested atop his knee while he tilted his head down. He slowly lifted his head, fluttering his eyelashes and standing up. He had on eyeliner to accentuate his eyes, mascara that elongated his already-long lashes, and what Even was pretty sure was highlighter, making his cheekbones glow. He really did fit the _lovely_ in Lovely Assistant. 

“Wow,” Even managed to say as Isak got a little closer, about halfway between Even and the bed now. Isak smiled but stayed in character, making sure his strut was sexy and slow, his demeanor serious and even more sexy. He did a slowly spin, making sure Even got to see his ass in all it’s glory in those jeans. Even wanted to move closer, reach out and touch but he stayed put, watching the show from a safe distance as Isak turned around completely and stuck out his ass for him, giving it a little wiggle that made Even feel weak in the knees. 

“Are they everything you dreamed?” Isak asked, turning back around to face him. 

“And more,” Even said with a little smirk, looking him up and down, loving everything about that moment and hoping to keep a mental picture of it forever. “Now let’s see the shirt, Baby.” 

“Of course,” Isak said, smiling and batting his pretty eyelashes before strutting back to the bed—with a back arch that was _definitely_ purposeful. He pulled on the red sequin shirt and slowly turned back around, starting to walk towards him again but not stopping halfway this time. “Do you like it? And what about the makeup?” 

“You look absolutely fucking amazing, Isak,” Even told him honestly, taking in the full picture once again before Isak got too close, strutting right up to him and wrapping his arms around Even’s neck. “I’m almost upset that there’s going to be a number of gays here tonight ogling you.” 

“They’re not here yet, and guess what?” Isak asked, keeping one hand behind his neck and letting the other slide down his chest, tingling all the way down to where Even was already half-hard from the performance. 

“What?” Even asked, taking a slightly shaky breath. 

“After Mallory finished my makeup, she sprayed this stuff on it,” Isak explained as his hand slid into Even’s pants, gripping at him over his boxers. Even gasped, feeling it fill his body completely and immediately. “And she said that it made it all completely waterproof. So, obviously the first thing I thought of was that I could blow you without consequence.” 

Even groaned as Isak released him and dropped to his knees. Isak always teared up when blowing Even, so generally that meant if eyeliner was involved, that wouldn’t be happening, or at least not until the end of the night. And fuck if Even wasn’t so excited for it now. 

~  
The night started out amazing and seemed to proceed that way. The friends that they were making in California were mixing and they met even more at the parties Mallory and Taylor threw. He had to keep Isak at his side, make sure everyone knew he was his for the first round of the evening, and then they went around with Colette—who was dressed in white and a flower crown and claimed to be the Virgin Mary—pretending to do a magic trick where he and his Lovely Assistant magically impregnated her, which was actually the first time some of her friends were hearing it since she really still wasn’t showing. 

But the good thing about Colette was that Isak and Even could drink all night long and they didn’t even need to worry about how they were getting home. She’d always drive them and sometimes even stay in their guest room—finally equipped with a mattress—on the nights that she did. Even would make sure to compensate with breakfast in the morning and she did tend to like to come over for dinner so it all seemed to kind of balance out. Of course that was if you didn’t mention the huge favor she was doing not only holding one baby for them, but two. 

Even honestly found that he’d do anything for Colette, for the children inside of her. Almost like he would for Isak. But in a much more wholesome way, he almost didn’t even understand it. He could only sum it up as the beginning of parenthood. That must’ve been the feeling. 

“Kind of hot that she’s parading around as a virgin tonight,” Chase said to Even as the two of them stood in the kitchen together. Isak and Colette had just wandered off into the rest of the party, arms hooked together with a plan to team up and hijack the music with their own playlists. “Makes me kind of want to see what that virgin can do.” 

“Excuse me?” Even asked, slightly drunk but aware enough to be offended by that. Chase definitely said some questionable things sometimes, but usually they were okay enough to let slide with a quick correction, but this time Even needed a pause. “First of all, you know she’s not actually a virgin, it’s just a Halloween costume. Secondly, she’s pregnant with my baby, you douchebag. Third, you have a girlfriend, you double-douchebag.” 

“Whoa, Dude, calm down,” Chase said, putting his hands up slightly in surrender, lowering his voice as to not be overheard. “Between you and me, things haven’t been working with Harper for a while, she knows it, I know it, and it’s just a matter of time before one of us snaps. But other than that, those other things are nothing. Obviously she’s not really a virgin, look at her, she’s fucking smoking. That makes it more fun. And I know she’s pregnant and going to get big but she’s not going to be a mom after that so it’ll be easier to lose the weight so it doesn’t even matter.” 

“There’s so much wrong with what you’re saying and I kind of want to hit you,” Even said, taking a step back from Chase to show that he wouldn’t. Not yet, anyway. He didn’t mind Chase, and he knew how to have a good time so he was always fun to be around, but when he thought of pairing Colette with anyone, it was with Chase’s friend, Peter. Peter was a good guy, quiet, more kept to himself, smart, and seemingly well-rounded. “You’re a fun guy and all but dude, no. Not Colette. Whatever’s going on with you and Harper is between you two even though it kind of sounds like bullshit. But seriously, stay away from Colette.” 

“I actually _really_ don’t think you have a say in who she dates or even fucks,” Chase said, stepping closer and squaring up as if he _wanted_ Even to swing. He poked at his chest, even, “So, if she’s into me, I’m going for her and if you have a problem with that, then we have a problem.” 

“Chase, Even!” Mallory said, drunkenly stumbling in the kitchen, “Oh my God, are you guys about to kiss or fight? I can’t tell! But both would be bad! Sooo baaaaad. Because Isak and Harper and you guys are such good bros, always bro’ing it up, ohh God, it was kissing wasn’t it? I just walked in on an affair, oh my god. I don’t know if I can handle that.”

“Mallory, no, it’s okay,” Even said quickly, walking over to her and trying to stop her from becoming the a stereotypical hysterical drunk girl. “There was no kissing. Just a little disagreement. And we still disagree, but you’d probably be on my side so let’s go this way.”  
*

 _Sunday, Nov. 3_

“This is literally going to be so amazing, you guys are awesome for letting us stay with you,” Eskild cooed graciously over the line. The three of them officially had plans to visit, and stay for a little while. For an entire month in January, their tiny two-bedroom was going to become an even tinier two bedroom. Of course, they were going to pitch in with rent and utilities for the month, and they promised to be the primary grocery-buyers if Even was the main chef. So things seemed to balance out. 

“I mean, you could probably find a way better place to stay but this’ll be easier on costs for all of us,” Isak said, thinking about all the uber rides they’d have to have back and forth from the place they’d be staying and their apartment. They really needed to look into a rental car, see if that would be less expensive in the long run. “Of course, Even and I haven’t shared a space with anyone since we lived with his family and even then we spent a lot of time alone, so this is going to be an adjustment.” 

“Or practice for when you’ll never be alone again,” Eskild said, looking at him knowingly though the camera. “I still can’t believe you’re having fucking twins. I just picture you and Even and these two beautiful little girls. The family pictures and Christmas cards could be _so_ symmetrical.”

“Well, we don’t know the sex of the babies just yet, but that _does_ sound really nice,” Isak said with a little smile as he pictured it himself. He was happy with the picture and he was happy that Eskild was finally on board with their little family project. Apparently, twins were the key, it made Eskild really excited, for whatever reason. “It’s probably a good idea to get practice with you, though. You’re pretty needy.” 

“Don’t I know it,” Eskild said with a scoff and an eyeroll at his own expense, “Jacob loves it though. I wonder if we’ll make it to January. Do you think you could squeeze four of us in your place? Ew no I’m kidding we won’t make it that far. And if we do, who the hell knows.” 

“You are so freaking smitten, but if you bring him, you two _have_ to find your own place to stay,” Isak told him, shaking his head and thinking about how awful six people in their apartment would be. Five was already a mess and Eskild was more sexual than Even and Isak—which was saying something. “This place is not big enough for three couples plus Colette is always here so three couples and a pregnant women who will be far more pregnant in January.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Eskild sighed and looked up, “Well I’ll figure it out when the time comes or I guess when I tell him my ticket is already booked. Maybe I’ll just have to ruin my first real relationship by making it long distance. Totally worth it, I’m sure of it, though. Anyway we are all really excited. Eva too, even though she’s so out of commission right now, she should be a peach by then.” 

“I have faith that her doctors know what they’re talking about,” Isak told him confidently. They all said she’d be good by then. She was officially on her last round of chemo and come January, she should be getting stronger—though still dealing with various appointments to make sure the cancer wasn’t returning. “I know it’s probably hard to imagine when you’re right there, watching her in all that pain, but there’s an end to this, and it’s a good one. The doctors wouldn’t be so sure if it wasn’t true.” 

“Yeah, she’s strong, and she’ll be ready to adventure by January,” Eskild said, smiling and looking behind him for a moment before knocking on wood. “Sorry, Noora doesn’t like when we’re so confident, like it’s a jinx, so knock on wood and make her feel better.” 

“Okay,” Isak siad, knocking on the coffee table, looking over and seeing Even standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. “Hey, Eskild, I’ve gotta go, Even made lunch.” 

“Alright, we’ll talk later, love you, byyyyye,” Eskild said before abruptly hanging up before Isak could say anything in response. Isak dropped his phone on the couch and got up, walking over to Even and pressing his hands to his chest. 

“So we’re really doing this, huh?” Even asked, his hands slowly lifting to rest on Isak’s hips. “You really think that we can handle _all_ of this?” 

“I know five people in our place is going to be crowded, but I think we can manage for a month. Plus, we’ve gotta make time for our friends while we can,” Isak said, looking at Even and trying to see where he was at. He agreed to this, so he couldn’t be mad it was happening, but his mood was definitely off. Isak put a hand on his cheek, caressing it with his thumb and locking onto what he knew he saw: uncertainty. “Ev, Love, what’s going on?”

“It’s not just five people in our place,” Even sighed and relaxed himself into Isak’s touch, “Everything is...a lot. We’re juggling doctor’s appointments with Colette, we’re trying to figure out how the hell we’re going to budget _twins_ , _Chase_ is going after Colette like some sort of predator, and then Eva will have appointments when she’s here and what if the cancer comes back while she’s here? Isak...I’m...I’m freaking out. Like, freaking out like...like... like what if the meds aren’t working again?” 

“Ev, Ev, Baby, shh, please,” Isak said, trying to be as calm as he could, running a hand through Even’s hair and giving him a few kisses over his face. “It makes sense to be freaking out about everything that’s going on. But if you’re worried about the medication then we’ll schedule an emergency appointment for you tomorrow after work. But no matter what, we’ve got this, Ev. We can do this.” 

It was the truth, Isak did know that they could handle all of this but he was scared too—really just mostly about the twins part, but if Even was going to start having problems again, then it was going to be just another thing. He seemed okay, though, Isak knew Manic Even and he thought that this must’ve just been worried Even. He’d himself in knowing that he and Even always seemed to be able to work things out. And he wasn’t going to let Even worry, not for a second. Not when he calmed him down when they first heard. Now it was time for Isak to calm Even. 

 

_Wednesday, Nov 6_

On Monday evening, they went to the therapist’s office that they had switched to out there. Since being in the states, both of them cut back on the amount of time they were spending with therapists, and while Isak could manage, Even was going to need it a little more frequently. His mental health always needed to be prioritized, and Isak had known that, but hadn’t realized there was any toll until Even was on the verge of freaking out. He’d probably just grown so used to the therapy, the adjustment plus a new place could easily throw him off.

So they were paying an extra close attention to him, the therapist not wanting to suggest the doctor up his medication until they were sure it wasn’t working. Which was fair, with everything in their lives changing, it was easy to feel like they were losing their grip. So Even was logging his moods and Isak was making sure to follow up on the second half of what the therapist suggested. 

They needed an evening to themselves, and granted they had a lot of those, but they could be easily interrupted by phone calls, texts, video messages, whatever. They were going to ditch the technology and spend the night together without interruption. And Isak would make sure to talk about all the good things that were going to come out of twins. Even’s therapist had pointed out that they only really focused on the cost, that they weren’t even prepared to prepare for twins, but that there were good things that would come of it and while that was obvious, they both needed them said out loud. Even if they were small and seemingly insignificant things, like Eskild’s comment about symmetrical Christmas cards. 

“How has it been since you started logging your emotions?” Isak asked as they tangled up together on their bed. Isak had gotten home and Even made dinner, so they ate and then made their way to the bedroom afterward, planning on loads of cuddles for their disconnected night. He decided to lead with Even and his emotions so he had a better feel of what Even needed from him. 

“Well you know that usually I hate it, but it’s actually been pretty nice,” Even said, sighing as if he’d been defeated. Over the years there were things about being bipolar that Even resisted until he couldn’t anymore, and generally he hated to learn that things he resisted helped. But he definitely matured on the matter, and Isak felt proud. “Either I’m not manic or it calmed me enough writing it down before it crossed that line. But writing...it almost made me feel like I’ve been keeping things from you. It helped me get more inside my mind but you usually do a pretty good job at that yourself.” 

“Seems like it always comes down to us not talking enough,” Isak said with a little sigh moving to rest his chin on Even’s chest, looking up at him as he lifted his head to look back. “But, this time it’s not the case. _You_ told me that you were worried. _We_ talked, _we_ made a plan.”

“But I’m saying that maybe writing is going to take away from the talking,” Even said letting his head fall back onto the pillow while he hand worked its way up the back of Isak’s shirt, slow and warm. “I mean, you know I love writing, but I like working things through with you, too.”

“Both things can happen, Ev,” Isak said with a little laugh, slowly moving to sit up now, straddling Even at the waist. He ran his hands over his chest slowly, trying to match the warm gentleness of Even’s hand on his back. “We can talk right now about whatever it is that’s on your mind.” 

“I thought we were supposed to talk about the babies,” Even said, sitting up so they were almost chest to chest, his palms still pressed to Isak’s back, warm and grounding. “About how twins are going to be a blessing and all that good stuff.” 

“Pfft, we’ve got nine months for that,” Isak told him, moving his hands to run through his hair a couple times before they landed on his neck. Isak knew not listening to a therapist wasn’t always the best option, but he was sure that if there was something else plaguing Even more, then it was more pressing. “Tell me what’s on your mind right now.”

“Well, remember back in Oslo when we took a break from our friends? I want to do it again,” Even said, suddenly gripping onto Isak’s hips and pushing him back into the mattress. He moved on top of him so that he was straddling Isak’s lap now. “Which includes Colette…I mean, maybe not right away, but you keep saying that we need time for our friends before we don’t have time anymore. But now with Noora and them coming out in January, we’re making even less time for you and me. Don’t forget that you and only have a limited time left to be alone.” 

“Maybe this isn’t the best way to look at it,” Isak said, looking up at him and rethinking the words. “I know it’s my fault, but we shouldn’t be looking at this as the end of something. The end of the time with our friends, the end of our time alone...it’s too negative. It’s the beginning of a new life we’ll have to adjust to, but it’s a positive thing.” 

“You’re right,” Even said, smirking a little at him and poking his chest, “It is your fault.” 

“Oh, _that’s_ what I’m right about?” Isak teased back, giving Even’s sides a nice little squeeze, the way that made him squeal. 

“Hey!” Even squealed, grabbing his wrists immediately and sliding his hands into Isak’s. He laced their fingers and then pinned his hands down on either side of his head, trying to look offended but smirking through it anyway. “You _know_ I hate that.” 

“Mmm, but it’s just so cute,” laughed a little, pouting his lower lip out and pushing up on his hands as he talked. Getting closer and closer to his lips. “Aaaand, I’m right about so much more. No matter how intense things get, and no matter how much we don’t know about what we’re going to do, this is a good thing...and…” 

“Annnnd?” Even asked, pushing him back down to the bed, but leaning down with him, keeping his face close. 

“And I _know_ that you and I will always find time for each other,” Isak told him, lifting his head up and nipping at Even’s bottom lip and letting it fall back down. “We’ve got plenty of people we can find to babysit, it’s going to be fine.” 

Even didn’t answer, instead he just leaned down and kissed him instead, slowly and passionately, but still so hungry. Isak kissed back, Even finally letting go of his hands, and cupped his cheek, going to press his tongue inside his mouth just as he pulled away. 

“Aren’t we supposed to be talking?” Even mumbled, kissing down his jaw and neck as he did. 

“Later, after,” Isak insisted, tilting his neck to the side a little bit for him as Even kissed Isak’s neck. He ran his hands through Even’s hair and let one hand quickly slide all the way down to his ass, giving it a nice little squeeze. “It’s fine, right now I'm finding time for you.”

“Good,” Even laughed a little pulling back and sitting up. Her pulled off his shirt and Isak pulled off his own, getting them on the same page. It wasn't long before they were both completely undressed, rolling around and giggling and kissing under the blankets.

It was playful but oh so intimate. He always felt closest to Even when they were laughing together, playing tricks that both aroused and amused one another. Like Isak poking at Even's sides, Even biting at Isak's neck, raspberries over each other's stomachs and pecks. It was the most ridiculous form of foreplay but Isak loved every second of it. 

“Mmm,” Even said after blowing a raspberry right below Isak's belly button. He rested his chin there on Isak's stomach and smiled briefly before licking down from Isak's belly button to his shaft. Isak spread his legs wider and let out a few remaining giggles as the tingles took over. 

“Ahh!” Isak hissed as Even spread his legs wider and bit his ass. The giggles we're officially gone and his entire body was already filling up with the intimate warmth sex with Even brought. Even still laughed a little though, slowly licking around until his tongue found Isak's hole, pressing and dancing inside. “You're so good to me.” 

“I am,” Even said, slowly pulling back and sitting up, pushing the blankets up off of them. He reached for the lube on the bedside table and the pulled the blankets back up a little ways. “And you and your body are so good to me.” 

“We are,” Isak giggled a little but then Even ducked underneath the blankets and Isak was left outside of them. Which meant Isak could only guess what'd come next, like a pleasant little surprise. And he tingled in anticipation. 

He gasped when Even's fingers were suddenly there at his hole, lubed up and wiggling their way inside. He gasped again when Even's lips were around his dick. The surprise factor really did make it that much more incredible as Even sank down on him, his fingers slowly pumping in and out. It replaced the warmth of the giggles with the warmth of the indescribable. That beautiful sensation that drove Isak crazy. 

“Ba-aby,” he moaned, reaching down and taking a handful of Even's hair in his hand and grabbing the blankets to pull up over his own head. To get underneath with Even, even if it'd be hot and suffocating. The surprise was nice but seeing Even—even under the dark of the blankets—was always best. 

And the sight was so absolutely beautifully vulgar, even in the dark, that Isak could've come right then and there. Even's lips wrapped around him, his mouth full of Isak, gliding up and down with ease. With such a perfect amount of pressure and tongue and range of moment with both his fingers and mouth that Isak was almost overwhelmed in the moment. 

“Mmm,” Even moaned against him five or so minutes into it, making Isak absolutely sure that he needed all of Even, right then. Using his hand in Even's hair, he slowly pulled him off. He popped off and smiled in satisfaction. “You are the most impatient person, ever.” 

“Is wanting you as much as I do a crime, officer?” Isak sled playfully, giggling a little as Even moved back over top of him, hitching up and spreading his legs. 

“You're just lucky I don't arrest you for being so sexy,” Even joked back, nipping at Isak's bottom lip. Isak reached up, nipping back as Even cupped Isak's cheek. “I guess we'll consider this _getting you off_ with a warning.” 

“You can do more than that,” Isak told him as Even's hand glided down his body. Once it was at his hips, the touch disappeared, Even using it to slowly guide himself to Isak's hole, making Isak gasp and quiver as he pressed inside him, slowly and surely. 

Isak knew that his shortness of breath and clammy skin was because of all the action underneath the stuffy, hot blankets. But it felt like all the warmth was radiating from within him. From that special feeling that came from all the good he was feeling. He couldn't help but to surge up just a few inches, wrapping his arms around Even's neck and holding their bodies right up against each other. 

He let his lips brush over various parts of Even's face—his cheekbones, his eyelids, and his nose—before they found his lips. Their lips moved slowly together, just as their bodies were. The movements were so gentle but so right and just felt so damn good. Steady and slow with passion and certainty, they moved and glided. Grunting and groaning, lips brushing sand teeth nibbling. 

They had sex a lot. They loved how it felt to be so close to one another. They just loved how it felt, period. But this time it was more than how it felt. It was getting back to basics. Remembering how perfect their bodies fit. Remembering that they could go from laughing and joking to teasing and fucking in minutes because that's who they were. They were always going to find a way to make that perfect fit because it's who they were. 

By the end, they were so drenched in sweat it almost was as if the cum didn't matter. But Even insisted he clean Isak off anyway. “It's gross enough to be sleeping in puddles of sweat,” he had said, but Isak wouldn't have cared. He was too blissfully high from being fucked to care about what he was laying in. He only cared about who he was laying with. 

 

_Friday, Nov. 8_

“See, we can all totally hang out, sans alcohol for your sake,” Mallory said, patting Colette’s leg and smiling sweetly. It did seem that when they were all hanging out, they were all plastered, besides Colette, being the model surrogate. She really didn’t want to hang out that night, but they promised a sober night with movies and whatever else they felt like doing at Dex’s place.

“Mmm, it’s just the beginning of the night,” Colette said, playful and skeptic, patting her leg right back. “And I’m starting to think you guys are more fun inebriated. I’m going to go pee, let’s be more fun when I get back, starting with a better movie.” 

“This is a classic!” Even protested, being the one who chose the movie. Isak didn’t always like his movie choices, but he got more and more used to it over the years, so he could handle it. But this crowd was more into comedies and musicals and Isak had warned him, but he refused to listen. It was a classic, everyone had to love _Casablanca_. 

“I told you Rent or the Sound of Music would’ve been better options,” Isak said, shaking his head and giving the back of his neck a little squeeze. He knew Even could spend the next hour defending the movie, so he gave him a little kiss and whispered, “Give it up.” 

“Fine, I’ll give it up,” Even said, grabbing the remote and stopping the movie. He started searching up other things but then set the remote down and looked at Mallory. “But you know what I can’t give up? Chase is into Colette. And I don’t know when, or if he’s even going to end things with Harper first, but he’s going to make a move.”

“You’re not serious,” Mallory said, her eyes going wide with worry, which was just so cute. Isak may have been shipping Colette and Mallory in his mind, having a soft spot for best friends turned to lovers. And maybe Mallory wouldn’t ever be into it, since she loved Taylor, but he still liked to think her worry was coming from something stronger than just friendship. 

“Seriously, it’s what we were arguing about on Halloween when you walked in on us in the kitchen,” Even said, shaking his head. “I thought about saying something to you then but you were plastered and I figured it’d just be a bad idea.”

Isak could’ve sworn he heard Taylor mumble something under her breath, something that sounded irritated. But Mallory was the closest one to her and she didn’t respond in anyway, instead just went on with the conversation. 

“Well sure but now I need to find time to talk to her about this before it’s too late,” Mallory sighed. “That definitely cannot happen.” 

“Is this because he’s black?” Chuck asked. 

“He’s like half-black,” Dex countered quickly, almost as if it were supposed to be the start of a little banter between the two of them. But, Dex caught himself, kept from smiling and looked back and forth between Even and Mallory. “That’s not it, is it?” 

“No, he’s just a player,” Even said with an eye roll and sitting back a little. “Trust me, I’ve heard a lot of his stories.” 

“And Colette needs someone sweet and caring,” Mallory said with a little pout on her lips. “Someone who will always keep her safe, make her smile, and won’t be constantly hurting her. And from Harper’s stories, he can be a total jerk.” 

“Harper is full of bull shit and she and Chase have been together for so damn long,” Taylor spoke up this time, in the irritated tone that Isak was now certain he heard her mumble in. “So that doesn’t constitute a player. _You_ just don’t want her with _anyone_.” 

“Who?” Even and Mallory both asked at the same time, both extremely offended. 

“Both of you!” Taylor almost yelled, dramatically throwing her hands out. Isak knew she had so much more to say, and mostly to Mallory, but Colette walked in, interrupting what was definitely about to be a commotion. 

“Uhh, what’s going on in here?” She asked, looking around and obviously feeling the tension in the air. Everyone else kind of looked at Taylor, wondering if she was going to spill that she was the one they were talking about. But she sat a little bit frozen, too. 

“Taylor’s angry because I just told her that Dex and I are dating,” Chuck suddenly said, making everyone else in the room turn to him, wide eyes and mouths agape. “And we kept it from all of you even though we knew you’d be totally okay with it.” 

“What the fuck, Chuck?” Taylor asked, legitimately shocked and surprised. Even even gasped a little, tightening his grip around Isak’s waist and pulling him closer as the drama unfolded. Drama that they were technically outside of. 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry Tay,” Chuck said, biting his lip and sitting forward. He seemed a little anxious about it, and Isak could only think that his heart was racing so fast, but there was a giant weight off his shoulders. He folded and unfolded his hands a couple of times and then Dex got up and joined him, sitting on the arm of the chair he was in and putting a hand on is back in support. “There’s a lot of reasons why I kept it secret and made Dex too but I just didn’t want to anymore.” 

“Well, I’m proud,” Isak said with a smile, looking at Chuck and smiling. He was glad he came out before Eskild was around, too, lest he take credit for that coming out, too. “I think you guys are really cute together. We should celebrate sometime.” 

*  
“You guys are lucky I love you,” Colette said as she pulled up to their apartment that night. They were lucky because they were drunk—Isak much more so than Even, but still. After Chuck decided to come out, the celebration just kind of began. Apparently, Dex had champagne on hand for such an occasion and Colette even briefly agreed that they should, Chuck could really only come out to them once, after all. 

“Colette _loves_ us,” Isak said with a little giggle, poking Even’s nose. His eyes were glazed dreamily and he had a pretty tight grip on Even’s shirt, keeping him close. “And _we_ love her.” 

“Because I’m holding your babies, now get out of my car you doofs,” Colette said, watching as Even helped the little drunk Isak out of the car. “Or do you need help inside?” 

“I’ve got him,” Even said, prying Isak’s hand off of his shirt and scooping him into his arms instead. He’d rather not have to continuously pick him up off the ground after the multiple times he was destined to trip over his feet. “See you later, drive safe.” 

Even closed the door with his hip and carried Isak into their apartment. He was sure that it would’ve been much more difficult if he wasn’t drunk, and he knew that carrying Isak like that generally made his arms ache in the morning, but Isak held on tight with his head tilted back, watching the sky then the ceiling when they were inside. With an arm wrapped around Even’s neck and his other hand gripping at his shirt, it made it impossible to drop just Isak on the bed when they got there. But Even was drunk enough not to  
think about that until he was falling on top of him, trying to get comfy as they both laughed and situated themselves. 

“Here, we don’t have to have sex but let’s get naked,” Isak said, pushing up on Even’s shirt once they were finally situated side by side, facing each other. 

“We don’t have to have sex?” Even said with a little gasp, laughing and helping him take off his shirt, then starting to work on Isak’s. “Don’t you want to have sex?” 

“Literally always,” Isak said, looking at him seriously for a moment before continuing to help Even take their clothes off. “But do you want to talk about the twins or something important like that?” 

“While your drunk?” 

“It doesn’t matter that I’m drunk,” Isak said, shaking his head dramatically. “No, because it’s awesome. Imagine being a twin! Always having someone there who gets it. Who is exactly like you. Oh man, and we could get them cute little matching outfits, Even, I _can’t_.” 

“You _can’t_ ,” Even laughed, reaching up and grabbing Isak’s jaw to look at him in the eyes with a smile, “I know that’s a thing people used to say, but you can and we will. And we _will_ also have sex if you’re up for it.” 

 

_Monday, Nov. 11_

Even actually really liked the job he ended up taking. It was the first offer he really liked, but he had thought he could do better after first. But after a few seasoned weeks, he was doing real editing tasks for a bunch of upcoming films. He was trusted with content on his own and could even boss around some interns if he really wanted to. 

That day, though, he was bored. His next big project wouldn’t be in until Wednesday, so he was working with the finishing department on other films. He boringly raked through the same films over and over, making notes of dead pixels or any other problems with the editing. And around lunch time, he’d just about had it with the third rake through of something called _Get It, Girl_. He kind of wanted to rip his eyes out. 

He pushed back from his desk and sighed. Could normal people not sit through this either? Or was this some sort of restlessness associated with being bipolar? He tapped his fingers on his knee a couple of times and then got up, going over to his bag and rummaging through it for two things: his notebook and cell phone. One to record his feelings, one to see if Isak was available to talk. It was almost lunch, anyway. 

He sent Isak a quick task, asking if he was free soon for lunch, and then rolled back up to his desk. He pushed away the keyboard, grabbed one of his special pens with silky black ink, and started writing. He wrote quickly, making sure his thoughts came to the page before they were out of his ear. He wasn’t sure he’d lose them right now, but he knew he had in the past when he was manic. But he wasn’t manic, he was almost positive. Just paranoid. 

At about of a third of the page down filled with his chicken scratch, Isak finally texted back. Even picked it up filled with hope just to be disappointed. _sorry baby, I have to take a late lunch today._ Even sighed and sent back a quick, _no big deal_ and then shoved the phone in his pocket, his notebook back in his bag, then slung it over his shoulder and headed down the stairs to where the interns did their work. 

He was going to go on a lunch, but they were going to work for him through it, maybe more. He looked around the brightly lit room with yellow walls. Too bright for his taste but he supposed one needed even fake sunshine when they were unpaid to do bullshit work. Around a round table with four stools sat a group of three, the perfect place for him to insert himself and see if anyone wanted to do his job. 

“Hellllo interns,” Even said, cheerily, sitting down and drumming on the table. “I’m Even, I work in video.” 

“Us too, did you need something?” A maybe too-eager guy with chubby, oh-so pinchable cheeks and a very premature receding hairline asked. He sat up very straight, as if he were ready for orders. The two girls on either side of him were equally as enthused for a project, but they just smiled instead of standing at attention. 

“Yeah, I’m doing some finishing today but I need to go grab lunch and run a few errands and honestly,” Even leaned in a little and tapped his fingers in the middle of the table, “It’s a lot of work. With a deadline. And I shouldn’t step away unless I have someone else who can handle the job to takeover for a bit.” 

“Finishing,” The guy said, nodding his head, “I did some for Jerry the other day. Not the most exciting task but it’s better than waiting to be called on for grunt work like coffee runs.” 

“That’s the spirit,” Even said with a smile, standing up and looking at the three of them, “The job really only calls for two, though. But maybe if the third doesn’t get another job from someone else in say, twenty minutes, they can join, too.” 

After they decided what two, Even took them up to his workspace and showed them the project. He made sure they knew what they were doing, what notes to leave for the editors, and all of the essentials before he felt comfortable leaving them alone with it. And that process took about twenty minutes, so when he was leaving to head out the door, the third intern was at his heels. 

“It’s been twenty minutes and nothing,” She said chipperly, walking beside him even as he walked out the door. “Maybe I could join them. Or, oh, okay, we’re walking this way. Or I could accompany you to lunch and then join you at your post when your get back.” 

“You can go join them if you want,” Even said, looking down at her as he walked, as she still walked beside him. She was short, had light skin and a really tightly pulled back ponytail that didn’t match the mess of hair that swung behind her. 

“I’d rather join you,” She said, pulling a vape out of her pocket and taking a hit from it. Then holding it out to him. “Here, have some, you look stressed. A little thc would do you some good.” 

“You aren’t afraid of telling me that you’re smoking on the job?” Even asked, watching her, thinking about maybe taking a hit or two. He didn’t have much to do that day anyway and the interns could definitely handle the project. 

“You don’t even know my name,” She laughed a little, took another hit then held it out for him again. “But even then, no. You can’t be that much older than me, which means you’ll probably be more sympathetic for me. Plus you’re one of the hotter guys I’ve seen in the office.” 

“What does my being hot have to do with anything?” Even asked, making a point to take the vape from her with his left hand so he could flash his ring. When he handed it back he even made a point to adjust the ring, leaving a little black from the band underneath showing and covering a little of the _21:21_. 

“Well, since I find you attractive, it’s easier to flirt with you,” She said, smiling and looking at his hands for a moment then back up at him. “I seem to have a pretty good effect. Even when men _are_ married. Which, by the way, you are way too young to be married.” 

“You don’t even know how old I am,” Even said, not so sure about the game she was playing. She talked big, sure, but she didn’t really seem the type to be flirting around with married men to get what she wanted. Or maybe he didn’t know. There had to be some cultural nuances he wouldn’t get, eventually. She may as well be one. 

“As far as I’m concerned, younger than thirty is too young,” She said, taking another hit then handing the vape back to him. 

“I’ve been old enough since..I’d say since the day he and I started dating,” Even said, deciding to throw in the pronoun to throw her off. “That was eight years ago by the way and I haven’t been seduced by a single person since.” 

“Damn it, gay,” She groaned a little and took the pen back, taking his hand too and looking at the ring. Once she noticed the _21:21_ , she slid it up and looked at the tattoo. “And tattooed wedding rings. Fuck. What’s 21:21?” 

“A time, which sounds a lot better in Norwegian in my opinion,” Even said, his head beginning to feel light from the weed. He looked up at the sky and down at her, not sure why he felt the need to correct her, but he did. “I’m not gay, by the way. Pansexual. But still, never straying. None of your feminine wiles can work on me because I’m strictly into his dick. And we’re in the States starting a family.”

“Well, I suppose I can’t be a homewrecker to someone with children,” She sighed and took a pretty big puff of the vape before sliding it into her pocket. “My name is Kate, by the way.”  
*

 _Thursday, Nov. 14_

“Taylor and Mallory were fighting today,” Colette said over dinner that night. She’d texted and asked if she could come over for dinner about an hour or so before Isak got out of work. Of course, he wouldn’t say no—despite Even thinking they may need a little break from others, and more time to themselves, Isak wasn’t sure if they truly needed it. So, he let Even know and then Colette picked him up from work and brought him home. 

“About what?” Isak asked curiously, thinking about the only thing that they’d seen the two argue about: Colette. Taylor was obviously jealous of the friendship Mallory and Colette had, and Isak wouldn’t be surprised to hear that it was exactly that. 

“Well, apparently Even and Chase had a conversation recently,” Colette said accusingly, looking across the table at Even, her eyes squinted angrily. “And apparently Chase told Even that he was into me and both he and Mallory are going to plan to keep him away. Taylor’s pissed that Mal cares so much. But I’d say I’m more pissed.” 

“I know Chase seems nice, and he totally is on the surface,” Even said, sighing a little a running a hand through his hair. He looked worried, apologetic. “He’s a real bro but I’d say he’s nicer to his other bros than he’ll be to women. Ever. Mallory and I just both agree that it’s better that he stays away because we care about you and don’t want to see you hurt.” 

“It’s ridiculous that you’re treating me like your child instead of like a woman who’s carrying your children,” Colette snapped. Isak and Even had only seen her truly angry a handful of times, but Isak knew the signs. Her face reddening, her eyes starting to bulge and even getting a little teary. “I’m not a child and I can very much make my own decisions about who I will and will not date.” 

Isak stayed quiet, as she mostly had about this whole mess. He didn't like Colette and Chase just as much as Even and Mallory but he would rather not interfere. Psychologically, it was better not to. Not that he could convince Even not to. He did think, though, that maybe he needed to let Harper know. Give her a heads up about Chase being douchey. But then again he didn't know if interfering was the best. 

“Colette, you have to understand,” Even began, but she wouldn't let him continue on. 

“No, no, no Even, _you_ have to understand,” She said, looking at him seriously. If she was one of Even's cartoons she'd have steam from anger coming out of her head. Isak thought that the anger was probably stemming from some mood swings from the pregnancy, that they were probably not going to be able to calm her down tonight. “I'm a grown ass woman, making my own decisions and if I decided I wanted to fuck Chase or whatever, then I would. Whether or not any of you like it. And if you want to have a problem with it then it's a stick up your ass, not mine.” 

“I think it's fair,” Isak said, knowing he'd probably get shit about it from Even later but now he needed to hopefully settle Colette down. “We already regulate so much. This is absolutely something that you need to be in control of. Even'll back off. Right Baby?”

“I just, Isak..” Even groaned, looking at Isak's face and knowing he had to drop it. Isak was serious. They were not going to piss Colette off. They wanted to always be on her good side, make sure she was always coming to them. She needed to trust that she could. “Fine. But if he hurts her don't say I didn't warn the both of you.” 

 

_Saturday, Nov. 16_

“And so he brought it into show and tell and it was so cool and now I want a turtle,” Milo gushed about his friend at school. Apparently he never saw a turtle _in person_ before and it was just the most amazing thing to him. “Do you think Papa would get me a turtle?” 

“I don't know,” Isak told him honestly, biting his lip and thinking back to how badly he wanted a dog as a kid. But Terje always said no. Maybe a turtle was different, though. “You should've gone to his house tonight so you could hang out with the turtle.”

“Well I wanted to talk to you and Even,” Milo said sweetly, making Isak smile and feel a little sad for leaving him. He was his only sibling, and he was so young, and Isak left him there with Terje. It made him feel a little guilty. Especially because now he gave up the chance to be away from Terje for an evening just to talk to Isak for a little bit. “Where is he?” 

“He went out to grab us some food,” Isak told him, looking at the time. He left around fifteen minutes prior, so it wouldn't be much longer. “This place down the street has the best grilled cheese we've ever had. So he went to go get some. But Milo, you shouldn't give up chances to hang out with your friends for me. We'll find time to talk.”

“No Isak, I don't mind,” Milo said, getting up off the ground and walking off screen for a second. He was using Lisa's laptop to make this call and Isak had to assume she was somewhere off camera watching him. “I see him all week long at school. I'm sure he'll invite me again next weekend. Or maybe someone else will. Who knows.” 

“Someone's popular,” Isak said proudly, watching as he came back on the screen with a notebook. “Is that your notebook with all your friends numbers?” 

“Nooo, I keep their numbers in my phone, silly,” Milo said, opening the notebook. “This is actually my art class notebook. I wanted to show you and Even. Especially Even. My teacher says I'm an artist.” 

“That's awesome, Mi,” Isak said with a smile. Milo was a smart kid, he excelled at basically everything, just like Isak did at that age. If he continued on like Isak, though, he'd start to slack off in the next couple of years as he went through puberty. And then he'd settle on being good in science and sliding by in everything else. “Let's wait till Even gets back to show me. How are things at home?” 

“Great, I think Mama and Papa are going to bring me home a sister,” he said excitedly, setting the notebook to the side. “I heard them talking about it the other night. Papa's not sure but Mama wants it so bad and I think it'd be really be fun. I always wanted a younger sister to pick on.” 

“Wait,” Isak blinked, not having expected that. “Seriously? I haven't heard about that. Is Lisa...I mean your mom in the room?” 

“Nei, but she did say Even thought it was a good idea,” Milo said with a shrug. “Why does he know if you don't?” 

“Must've been a secret…” Isak said, biting his lip. That certainly put a lot on his mind. But he'd have to shove it to the side. Milo missed out on a sleepover to talk to him, so he'd make sure he got his full attention. Even and Lisa would be hearing from him later, though. “Let's keep it a secret for now until Papa decides to actually tell you.”

He wasn't mad about it, just put aback. How long was this plan in the making? Had Even seriously known about it and not tell him? He honestly just needed more information. It had to be adopting, there was no way Terje could still procreate, right? Was it even serious? Or was Milo about to get his hopes up for nothing? 

“Okay, but I think it’ll be awesome,” Milo said excitedly, flipping open to a blank page in his notebook and starting to scribble into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, comments and kudos are super welcome and fuel me <3
> 
>  
> 
> **Post note 25Jan19**  
> I will be continuing this as soon as I can. My Dad passed away and I have a lot to process. But I promise to be back.


	12. How Do You Feel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ......it's been a while but I have a good excuse. 
> 
> For those of you who have been reading from the start, the name "Marley" has been changed to "Harper." 
> 
> Thanks if you're still there.

_Monday, Nov. 18_

Going to work that Monday, Isak felt anxious. He had decided that he needed to talk to Harper about Chase. Even told him that Chase said Harper was on the same page as him, but something told Isak that it wasn’t true. From the moment he met her, she was talking Chase up. He was even sure that she thought they were on their way to marriage. So, he thought he had to tell her. He didn’t want her to hold onto something that was going to end with her eventually getting her heart broken anyway. 

They were on a break, a few minutes into some of the only alone time they’d have during the day. When they ate lunch there was often a lot of others around and they generally didn’t have a second break together. So, Isak knew it was then or never. His hands were so clammy and he couldn’t stop tapping his foot as he sipped his coffee, knowing there was really no good way to tell her, but he needed to. So he had to just do it, rip it off like a bandage. 

“Hey, uh, so I hear things with Chase haven’t been so good lately?” Isak said, but it came out more like a question, so he cleared his throat, looking up from the ground at her for just a moment. Long enough to see that she had no idea what he was saying. “I mean, he said you guys are probably going to be breaking up. I just...what’s been going on?” 

“When did he say this?” Harper asked in a cool voice. It was low, serious, but when Isak looked at her, he could see there was shock in her eyes. She didn’t think he’d say something like that to someone else, even if they were on the outs. 

“He told Even at a party recently,” Isak said, chewing on his lip for a moment, wondering if she needed the whole truth. 

“Sometimes we fight, maybe we were fighting,” She said running a hand through her hair and looking at him like this was the obvious conclusion. 

“Yeah, you could have been,” Isak said, knowing that she answered the question, she needed to know the whole truth. “And technically it was more than once. Because he said that and then went on to say he was going to go after...someone else. And when Even told him it was a bad idea, he seemed to take it as a challenge.” 

Harper seemed to be paused, not sure how to respond or what to think. He couldn't imagine someone coming to him and saying this stuff about Even. But he imagined he'd be speechless too, amongst other things including a blubbering mess. So he let her be quiet and take it in before he drove his point home.

“And I just wanted to tell you because I don't know if this means he's planning on cheating or blindsiding you or something,” Isak told her, wiping his hands on his pants and hoping that with this off his conscience, the clamminess would soon be gone. “I think I would want to know, too. Even if it hurt. I think. And I’m sorry if it hurts.”

“He’s cheated before, you know,” Harper said quietly, making a very confident eye-contact. Which was confusing. He couldn’t imagine mustering any confidence while talking about Even cheating on him. “Twice now and he always comes clean, telling me about how it’s made him realize what he has. The last time was a long time ago, though. A couple years. I thought it was over.” 

“You should know that this isn’t going to go away,” Isak said, looking back with the same confidence. He had a feeling it was her trick, maybe it was Chase’s trick, too. Confidence. Crawling back with an entire sob story about how much he needed her, but conveyed with enough to confidence to sway her with ease. She was just using the confidence to hide the pain. “Once is one thing, twice is another, and now he’s gearing up for a third?” 

And if he used his confidence on Colette? Where would she end up? 

“I don’t know if I can break up with him,” She said, point blank. “We get each other, we’ve been there for each other through a lot of shit. I wouldn’t just be able to do that with someone again. I chose him, and he chose me. Even if he needs to stray to remember. You have to get that because you’ve only opened up to Even. He’s your long term, forever, whatever. What if he cheated on you?” 

“He wouldn’t,” Isak said, using his own, absolutely pure confidence. 

“Just imagine it,” She said, a little tiny smile creeping in the corners of her lips, though her eyes were watery. “Oh wait, you can’t. Your love for Even makes it impossible to imagine a world where it even happens. I was like that, too. And then it happened and now I can’t imagine leaving him _because_ of it. Our love is more evolved.” 

“Maybe so,” Isak said, seeing it in her eyes, knowing there was no fighting it. Not right then. Harper needed some time. She needed to think it over and then he could revisit helping her out. But not right then, when she was so freshly upset over it. “But, listen. This means there are girls being picked up and thrown out and I can’t let that be...the person he wants to go after.” 

“I know it’s Colette, so what are you saying?” So much for trying to keep Colette out of it. He hoped this wouldn’t cause any girl drama with her. 

“What I’m saying is that I’m still going to invite you out, and to parties; everyone loves you,” Isak said, keeping her eye contact to let her know he was serious across the board. Everyone did love her, they’d help her through it if the two of them were to end things. “But you can’t bring him. He is specifically not invited. If he needs to do his thing or whatever, it can’t be with her. Or this group of people. They’re too good to be put through that.” 

“Isak…” 

“Listen, back in Oslo,” Isak cleared his throat, his confidence breaking for a quick moment, so he looked out the window. His heartbeat in his ears for a second as if this was his first time ever talking about Mats. Well, it was the first in a while. “There was this guy, his name was Mats. We went through Uni together and were working side-by-side at our residency out there. And, I… _really_ liked him. I hated myself for it and it even ended up being a really big problem for me and Even. But I didn’t act on it. I didn’t _want_ to act on it. Not even when Even said I needed to. I didn’t need to cheat to know that it was Even, that it’d always be Even. But I kissed him, to prove it to everyone. And then everything was ruined. Mats is moving away and I lost him as a friend. I mean, I’d rather lose him as a friend than Even as my soulmate. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. For everyone, including my friends who grew to love him, too.” 

“Listen, I’m hearing what you obviously want me to hear. Loud and clear,” Harper said with a nod, looking at him then down at the ground. “But I need to think about everything, okay? Can we just like, change the subject for a day or two?” 

“Whatever you need.” Isak nodded, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. He could change the subject, even if he didn’t want to. Even if he’d rather shake her to get her to understand. “So I know this is totally lame but me and Even want to hike to the Hollywood sign.” 

 

_Thursday, Nov. 21_

“I knew you’d be on my side,” Isak basically cheered on the phone with Ana. He had ended up talking to Even about Lisa and Terje having another baby, and it was somewhat true. Apparently Lisa wanted to adopt a little girl not much younger than Milo. And apparently she mentioned it to Even a while back and he hadn’t thought to say anything to Isak. As if it weren’t a big deal. Especially now suddenly while Even and Isak were having children. “It’s like they want to steal our thunder or something. I mean, my Dad has always been like this.” 

“And I never trusted Lisa,” Ana said, feeding Isak what he needed to go on. “Seriously, she’s so attractive and your Dad’s old. Is he paying her or something? Because he needed to make a better second family? No offense.” 

“Yikes,” Even said as he came down the hallway. Ana was on speaker so he was hearing everything. “Ana, you don’t know Lisa, she’s really sweet, which is why this has nothing to do with upstaging us. Stop throwing gas on the fire. You don’t have to deal with his fired-up crankiness.” 

“Even thinks that he and Lisa have some bond,” Isak said with a little eyeroll, sprawling himself out across the couch and setting the phone on the coffee table. “So obviously she wouldn’t lie to him, obviously she wouldn’t be trying to _upstage_ us.” 

“You know, I honestly thought we were letting it go after we talked about this the other night,” Even said, a tone in his voice just a tad annoyed. Isak didn’t bother to look over where he perched himself on the arm of the loveseat, probably looking over at where Isak was laying. “Remember, I told you she said she was going to wait.” 

“Doesn’t sound like she’s waiting if Milo knows,” Ana replied quickly, so happily on Isak’s side that he imagined her where Even was sitting for just a moment. So close, ready to scheme with him. Not halfway around the world.

“That’s what I’m saying, they’re jumping the gun _right after_ we tell them we’re having twins?” Isak decided to look at Even now, trying to say. _That’s no coincidence_ with his eyes. But then Colette was knocking on and then walking through the door before anyone could go on with anything. She was always letting herself in now, which was fine, but sometimes it freaked Isak out. Or he imagined that eventually she’d walk in on them having sex, or one of them naked. 

“Oh thank God, someone with reason,” Even said happily when he saw her, as if it was such a relief to not just have whining Isak there. So Isak rolled his eyes to himself and picked up the phone, holding it over his head and taking a few pictures. “Isak and my sister are saying that two grown adults are plotting to look better than us. For no reason.” 

“Huh?” Colette asked in confusion. 

“My Dad and his wife are suddenly deciding to adopt,” Isak sighed. “A little girl maybe a year or two younger than my little brother. Like right after Even and I tell them we’re having twins. Like they want to upstage us.” 

“Oh,” Colette laughed a little and sat on the loveseat. Isak turned on his side and looked at the two of them, Even sliding down to sit on the cushion beside her. “I mean, that’s pretty cool of them. But you know what it reminds me of? That movie...I think it’s called _Orphan_? A little girl gets adopted but turned out she’s actually a grown woman trying to sleep with the Dad, and kill the rest of them. Some crazy shit.” 

“That’s a movie?” Ana asked on the other end. 

“Hell yeah, it’s from quite a few years back now,” Colette said, looking at Isak and laughing a little more. “How long have you been whining about this?” 

“For like, an hour,” Even groaned, making Isak give him a look. 

“Well, obviously no one can upstage you and Even,” Colette said, looking back and forth between the two of them. “Are you giving each other dirty looks? You’re not very good at that.” 

“The two of them in an argument of any sort is weird,” Ana said, sighing a little, “even if it’s only with their eyes. They’re idiots but I miss them.” 

“Everything okay, Ana?” Isak asked, sitting up and turning off speaker. He put his phone to his ear. He knew she’d miss them. He missed her, Even missed her. He just hoped that everything was going to be okay. She’d seemed to be leaning on Isak a lot more in the past years as she was growing and he hoped his absence wasn’t causing any problems. 

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” She said, obviously not fine but obviously not wanting to talk about it. “So Colette’s there, I’m going to go.” 

“Yeah, okay, tell me if something comes up,” Isak told her seriously before they said their goodbyes and he hung up. He laid back down on the couch and looked up at the ceiling, feeling a mix of despair and anger. He missed Ana and Milo. But he didn’t miss his Dad, and it felt like the man would be interfering for the rest of his life. Probably even in the after-life. 

“Isak, there’s no need to pout about this,” Even said and Isak could see him getting up in the corner of his eye, coming towards Isak and kneeling down. “It’s a really good thing they’re doing and not to upstage us. Just take a deep breath, stop being so ridiculous, and let’s go get some dinner.” 

“Only if you un-call me ridiculous,” Isak said, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away for a show of it. It was Even’s fault, he knew that when he pointed out stuff like that, Isak would do it ten times more. 

“Fy faen, I could kill you,” Even groaned, slipping a hand under Isak’s head and gently grabbing a handful of hair. He used it to make Isak look at him as he leaned down, pressed a soft kiss to his lips and then a few others across his cheeks. Isak slowly sat up, responding to the kiss with a smile and letting Even end with another peck on the lips. “You can be insanely ridiculous and I won’t lie and call you not ridiculous. But I can say that you’re not always and I love you regardless. Deal?” 

“Deal because then I don’t have to stop being riduiculous,” Isak smirked and pecked him on the lips once more.

 

_Friday, Nov. 22_

“I just think that tonight we could show her that there are plenty of other fish in the sea,” Isak explained in the back of their UberXL with Even, Dexter, Chuck, and Colette. They were heading to a club of Colette’s choosing to dance. Mallory and Taylor planned to meet them and Isak decided to invite Harper and scheme. She hadn’t said that she was _for sure_ ending things with Chase, but Isak worked on her all week. He thought he could show her a good night, find some good guys to hit on her and she’d see that she could do so much better. 

“I mean, it can’t be that hard,” Chuck said with a shrug, acting like he didn’t care as much about it as the rest of him, but he knew he was feeding on the gossip, the scheming, the plans. He definitely had enough to say in that nonchalant, pseudo straight guy way he’d probably spent years trying to master but just didn’t fit. “She’s an _attractive_ girl, I’m sure guys’ll be hitting on her anyway.” 

Everyone looked at him for a second. It was the way he said “attractive,” like he was so obviously _not_ attracted. It almost ruined the legitimacy of the statement. It was almost awkward, the way he was getting used to being out of the closet. Isak thought about the idea of spending more of the time than he already had hiding who he truly was. It was probably damaging, he almost wanted to offer the guy on-site therapy right there. What was it like breaking out of the charade when you were so deep?

“What?” He asked defensively, looking around and fidgeting just a little. More signs that Isak was right, he was finding his comfort zone in all of this. Which definitely included Dex, who gave his leg a comforting squeeze instead of pointing out the obvious the way he usually would have. “I can know she’s attractive, guys. I spent 22 studying why guys think girls are hot. I can know.” 

“I keep forgetting you’re so young,” Even laughed a little and shook his head. 

“It just doesn’t sound right coming from your lips,” Isak followed up and then gave Even a look, Chuck was 23, only two years younger than Isak and Isak personally thought he acted younger. Dex too, who was Isak’s age. “When I first came out, things like that came out weird, too. It’s like you realize everyone in the room knows you feel the opposite and it’s just like, paralyzing.” 

“Isak will therapize you right here,” Colette said, elbowing Chuck and smirking. “Just like I’m sure he’s doing to poor Harper. Which is probably another reason why she needs tonight. I’m glad you invited her.” 

“Perfect, Colette likes the idea which means the rest of you can suck it,” Isak said, clapping his hands and rubbing them together a little maniacally. He knew that they were all basically in, they didn’t mind the plan, they just didn’t like Isak springing it on them at the last minute. But he was glad they were all in by the time they pulled up to the club, where they met Mallory and Taylor and went inside to dance. 

They were all—besides Even and Colette—a couple drinks in when Harper finally did show up, shooting Isak a text and letting him know she was there and headed to the bar first. So Isak excused himself and pulled Even away, bringing him towards the bar to find her. 

“She's here and she's at the bar,” He told him as she pulled him away from the group. Even wrapped his arm around Isak's waist, unquestioning as they walked towards the bar. “We could probably easily start by grabbing some cutie to hit on her there.” 

“Uh, Isak, I don't think that's going to be happening,” Even said, clearing his throat and nodding towards the far end of the bar. Isak looked away from his cutie-search, following Even's eyes over to Harper, with Chase and Peter at the end of the bar. “I thought you told her not to bring him around anymore?” 

“Fy faen, I did,” Isak groaned, starting to peel away from Even to storm up to her, but Even stopped him, gripping his waist tight. 

“Talk to her about it alone, and calmly,” Even said, rubbing his side a little and allowing the two of them to take slow steps over to them. “She might just be seeing if she can forget about all of this. If we'll forget about it if she acts normal. We've got to let her know that that is not the case without making a scene or getting you punched by Chase.” 

“Fine,” Isak sighed and looked up at him hopefully, “maybe you can get them away from her for me?” 

*  
Harper bringing Chase to the club was an obvious indicator to Isak that he needed to try harder at breaking the two of them up. To Even, though, it was the perfect indicator to try to hook up Colette and Peter. Even was more worried about that half of the puzzle. It didn’t sound like Chase’s plans for Colette were going to end well and he’d rather keep her safe. Emotional pain would be bad for the babies she was holding, and he’d like to keep anything bad from happening to them. 

Given that Chase was there with Harper, there was no way he was going to be able to pull any moves on Colette. Especially with Harper aware of what was going on. So it was basically the perfect opportunity to push Harper and Peter together. He’d introduced them once before and he swore there was a spark. One spark meant there could be more. 

“Colette, you remember Peter, right?” Even asked pulling him over to her when he finally had a chance. The biggest problem with Peter was that he was an extremely comfortable third wheel to Harper and Chase. So, getting him separated from them was more difficult than he had expected. 

“Oh, yeah, Chase's sidekick,” she smiled at him, and playfully poked. “I'm surprised you dared to leave his side.” 

“I can assure you he's much better than a sidekick,” Even said, patting Peter's shoulder and moving to stand right beside Colette to look him over and speak so only she could hear, “And he's pretty easy on the eyes, am I right?” 

“I'm definitely better than a sidekick,” Peter said, laughing awkwardly, obviously not sure how to take Even's obvious setup. But Even needed him to relax, be himself, he knew he could win Colette over. He tried to give him an assuring look, nodding a little towards Colette to get him to go on. “In fact, Chase is technically _my_ sidekick. I'm the veterinarian, he's just the vet tech.” 

“A veterinarian, and he's great with the animals,” Even said smiling at Collette then looking off into the distance. He'd trust Peter to take it from here, he just needed a little push, now that he had it, Even would go find Isak. “He's got two dogs of his own.” 

Colette loved dogs, so Even thought it was a perfect way for them to start getting to know each other. So he said it and then walked off, heading towards Isak and hoping to keep an eye on them from afar.  
*

“Oh, I think Even just tried to set up Peter and Colette,” Chuck said, nodding across the way, where Even was walking away from the two of them. Isak looked away, over at Harper and Chase, hoping that whatever they were arguing about went on. The three of them were at a booth, people watching and drinking whatever cocktail it was that Dex ordered for them. 

“That's definitely what happened,” Isak said with a little laugh, looking back towards Even, excited to have him back with him as he made his way over. They'd been doing their own things almost all night and Isak was drunk and wanted to hold him. Maybe kiss his neck a little. “You think she'll go for him?” 

“Unlikely,” Dex said, shaking his head and leaning back. “Peter seems too basic. But we'll let Even hope. It's not like Chase can do anything tonight anyway. Harper is here.” 

“But what if that's what they're fighting about?” Chuck offered, motioning to the arguing lovers they'd been watching before, leaning more into Dex as he did. Chuck was way more into the gossip than he was earlier and even a little handsy with Dex in his drunken state. But Isak was too drunk to try to think about that from a psychological standpoint. 

“I’d bet that that’s what they’re fighting about,” Isak told them, scooting over in the booth as Even came up and slid in beside him. He lifted Even’s arm for him and put it around his shoulders, nuzzling himself into his neck and kissing it a couple times. “But we don’t even know how Colette feels about Chase. _Even_ here ruined any possibility we had to talk to her about the situation when he went behind her back and talked to Mallory about it.”

“No, no, no, _Isak’s_ afraid to talk about it and push her away,” Even said, patting his shoulder and then cupping it and giving it a little shake. “What _I_ was thinking was that if I could hook her up with Peter, then we don’t even need to worry about how she feels about Chase. But I’m not afraid, I’ll ask her if I have to.” 

“You will not,” Isak argued back cutely—or he hoped it was cutely in his drunken state—puckering his lips and looking at him. Even smiled back, obliging his puckered lips by leaning in and giving him a quick kiss. 

“Was that an argument?” Dex asked, seemingly astounded. 

“Well, we’re not joining the heteros in their little drama game for the night,” Isak said,with a laugh because it was obvious to him that their relationships were superior. All the gays in their group were drama free, after all, it was their hetero friends who had the problems. “We’re the good ones.” 

“I wish I could say that was true,” Chuck said, mysterious and with a slight dramatic flare. He leaned in a little before he continued on, as if it were a secret, “Taylor and Mal have been arguing a lot lately, like more than I’ve ever seen before.”

“They seem fine to me,” Even said, looking around to see if he could find them in the area. They were somewhere on the dance floor for sure. They’d been there all night, dancing up a storm, staying close, grinding, sharing drinks. All the usual. 

“This is a show,” Chuck explained, *They don’t like to let people know that they’re fighting. So they keep up the appearance, and they do it well. I'm honestly just waiting for one of them to get mad enough to blow it.”

“Do you know why they're fighting?” Isak asked, almost sure that it was because of Colette, but hoping that it wasn't. Isak was all for Colette and Mallory getting together and being a couple, but he actually didn't want it at the cost of Taylor and Mallory's relationship. Sure, friends to lovers worked out for him and Even, but there was something about Mallory and Taylor that clicked. Who was to say it'd click with Colette and Mallory, anyway. 

“Well it started with Taylor thinking Mallory was paying too much attention to Colette,” Chuck said, recalling very easily. He may have not been very vocal in group conversations about drama but now he was soaking it all up. “And Mal had some good points about her missing out on school and carrying twins and stuff, so I thought it was the end of that, but I have a feeling that it's not.” 

“Colette is obviously a treasure,” Dex said, smirking at the two of them, “and it wasn't like this before so it's obviously your guys’ faults.” 

“I’ll take pride in that,” Even said with a little shrug, then a smile and wink at Isak. “She certainly is some sort of prize. In the least possessive way possible.” 

 

*  
Even really didn’t mind being one of the only sober people in a crowd. Drunk people were the best for people watching. So sloppy, careless, and even reckless. Always trying to keep himself together, Even spent a lot of time watching his drunken friends, or even drunken strangers. And still, Drunk Isak was his favorite. 

He was clingy, his hands basically sewn together behind Even’s neck, barely holding himself up in an effort to make sure Even was always holding him. His eyes were glossy and basically heart shaped when Even could see them, but mostly he was too close, his lips forever kissing and ghosting wherever his mouth could land. Luckily, he eventually forgot about the drama with Harper and Chase and just let go, letting himself enjoy the night. 

“Eveeennn,” Isak sang into Even’s ear, so close his lips met his ear. They were still at the club, at the bar, taking a break from the dancing for a few minutes, or whenever Isak felt like he wanted to. 

“I loooove you,” Isak said, pulling himself away, smiling and looking at Even with those adorable and glossy heart-eyes. “We’re having _babies_ ,” He went on, pausing for a moment, his smile suddenly falling and his voice dropping as some sort of realization passed through his eyes, “and I’m still letting myself get caught up in dumb drama. Why do I do this? Ugh.” 

“Hey, Isak,” Even said, letting one hand off his side to take his chin instead, trying not to laugh at him and how small and cute he seemed in that moment. “You care about Harper. That’s why you care about this. It’s actually kind of fatherly, which is perfect for our situation and _very_ sexy. And I _looooove_ you.”

“Hey Even,” Colette said as she came up to the bar, interrupting them with a smile on her face, “Sorry to disturb the love-fest, but I’d like to talk to you.” 

“Ooouuu, she’s gonna yell at you for setting her up with Peter,” Isak said, poking Even in the chest momentarily before reconnecting his hands behind Even’s neck and twisting to look at Colette, “Was it that bad? You had me fooled. Chase too, I think. He looked mad. I keep getting worried he’s going to want to beat up my husband.” 

“Chase wasn’t mad, you’re just really drunk,” Colette told him with a little eyeroll, showing no interest in just the same way she had been when Chase was brought up. Maybe she just really felt nothing for the guy. “Anyway, obviously Isak knows and you’d never leave him drunk and alone like this, so I won’t try to pull you away. And I’m not even going to yell at you.”

“Were you planning on it?” Even asked with a little eyebrow raise, leaning back against the bar and letting Isak lean into him. “Because I really think the two of you could hit it off if you just gave it a shot.” 

“While the set up was way too obvious and extremely annoying, no, I wasn’t planning on it,” Colette said, grabbing a stool at the bar and getting comfortable. “I was actually just going to say thank you. Although I don’t know if I’m into him exactly, he’s pretty cool and I _will_ be giving him a date or two. We’ll see.” 

“She’ll seeee,” Isak sang, dangling around Even’s neck, his body rocking to face Even again. “Good job, Baby.” 

 

_Saturday, Nov. 23_

“I just feel like whatever I wear, they’re both going to look better,” Isak said with a pout, looking in the mirror and feeling a little down about his appearance for some reason. Was he gaining weight? Was his body always so awkwardly shaped so that he couldn’t fit into a suit jacket right? He’d have to look at his wedding photos again to double-check. “Hell, all three of you. People will think you’re a thrupple and I’m the fourth wheel. That’s how hideous I’ll look in comparison.” 

“Isak,” Even pouted as he finished fashionable rolling his sleeves a little. He stood up and walked over to Isak in front of the mirror, taking him by the hips from behind. “Baby, what on earth are you talking about? You look amazing. Yes, they are super stylish but you could be wearing a potato sack and still look better than both of them combined. I’m serious. You’re gorgeous, Isak. And you’re not one to be insecure. Something on your mind?” 

“You know, we’ve never double dated with two guys before,” Isak told him, just kind of skimming the top of his insecurities over the evening. They had a double date planned with Dex and Chuck, and it seemed like a good idea at the time, but now Isak didn’t know. “The only gays we’ve double dated with have been Noora and Eva. This is basically uncharted territory for us.”

“Okay, so what? You’re afraid they’re going to out- _gay_ us?” Even asked, smirking and the rest of his features following the amused looked. “Because I can always remind them how absolutely gay you are. I could say something about how much you like things up your ass.” 

“You tell them anything about what I like in bed and you won’t be allowed _near_ my ass,” Isak sighed, gently shoving Even and walking over to the bed to plop down and on his back. 

“You’re really down, Baby,” Even said, walking over to the bed and the crawling to hover over top of him. “It’s obviously bigger than this being our first double gay date. Which is impressive that Eskild let us get this far. Wait, is that it? Missing Eskild? Our friends?” 

“Of course I miss them,” Isak sighed, looking Even in the eyes and knowing that he could say what was on his mind. They could always tell each other anything. But still, there was a twinge in the back of his mind telling him that he was being dramatic. “But that’s not it.” 

“And you’re going to keep making me guess?” Even asked, raising an eyebrow, his curiosity less playful this time, more serious. Already annoyed?

“No, no, no,” Isak sighed, reaching up and touching Even’s face, rubbing his thumb along his cheek. “It’s just that Chuck and Dex are in their honeymoon phase. I mean, look at the way Dex looks at Chuck. Like he’s the only sunshine in his life or something.” 

“Isak,” Even said, getting up and sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling Isak up to sit with him, too. He wrapped an arm around Isak’s waist and used his other hand to take his chin and make him look him in the eyes. “You mean the way he’s looking at Chuck when he’s _not_ looking? The look that Chuck himself has no idea about? Isak, not only do I think you’re the only sunshine in my life, but I think you single handedly hold up my world. Maybe I’m not _always_ looking at you like I think that way. But it’s not like I don’t. If anything, Isak, my love for you has only grown stronger since our _honeymoon_ phase.” 

“But I don’t even look as good as I did then,” Isak pouted a little, remembering his appearance. His heart was happy and elated to hear what Even was saying, but there still felt like there was a lack. It’s true, maybe he didn’t see the way Even was looking at him when he wasn’t looking, but he _could_ still look at him like that some of the time, couldn’t he? “How can I know you’re not just saying all of this?” 

“You don’t look _as_ good as you did then, dummie,” Even said, rolling his eyes and giving Isak a quick peck on the lips. “You look better. You’ve always been sexy, but now you’re sexy _and mature_. From your head to your toes. Literally including you’re sexy, sexy toes. I can’t believe you don’t know this. I’m obviously failing at my job as number one husband.” 

“That’s because I’m number one husband,” Isak said, finally cracking a little smile. Even had a way of speaking that was just so convincing. Not to mention the look he was giving him. It gleamed through his eyes just the way Isak had wanted it to. The one that made him forget why he was insecure to begin with. But that wasn’t it, now it was out, the fear of dying down, he knew, they knew, they could work on it. He kissed Even again, this time nice and slow, letting it linger for a few moments. 

“And, we are _so_ much better than them,” Even said with a little laugh as he pulled away. “Now, we’re finished getting ready, we should probably order that uber now.” 

~  
“Eskild is honestly going to be so upset when he hears about this,” Isak said with a little laugh, after the four of them ordered their food. He was sure that Eskild thought he and Jacob would be their first gay double date, and he was probably going to have a fit. “You guys will probably love him though, as long as you’re not the jealous type: he’s a flirt.” 

“Well…” Dex said, he and Chuck exchanging a look. 

“Full disclosure, Isak and I are super jealous, too,” Even said, giving Isak a look as if he was questioning his sanity. Was he trying to scare their American friends away from their home friends? “He’s flirty like Dex kind of was when we first met you guys, in a way. You get used to it.”

“Yeah, he still thinks he gets Even after me,” Isak said with an eyeroll, possessively grasping at Even’s shirt and tossing a leg over his thigh in the booth. “But there is no after me. We’re together in every life, in every universe.” 

“We’re sort of jealous of other people, but we trust each other,” Even said, shrugging just a little and squeezing Isak’s thigh. “So, if you’re anything like that, you’ll survive Eskild.” 

“Noted,” Dex said with a little nod, sipping his water and leaning back, letting his arm swing around Chuck’s shoulders. “Is it like totally weird having your two worlds collide? Do they all even speak English or will there be a barrier?” 

“They’re all fluent, they live in London right now,” Isak answered, deciding to leave out why they were in London. There was a lot to learn about their friends, they didn’t need an overload in just one dinner. “And maybe a little. I just hope everyone gets along. If anyone is mean to anyone, I will go full parental on them. Time outs, apologies, hugs, all that. It’ll be good practice.” 

“Sounds like it could get sexy,” Dex smirked, “Maybe turn into some sort of orgy. I may have to test that.” 

“Uhh, no orgies for you, thank you,” Chuck said, booping his nose and smiling. Isak smiled a little at the transaction, remarking how cute they were for a moment before looking at Even, who was already looking at him and caught his eye immediately. 

“None for you, either,” He said lowly, smirking and letting his hand run down his body to give his side a squeeze. “And as sexy as you putting your foot down like that sounds, everything’s going to be great and we have a little bit longer to worry about it anyway.” 

“That’s right,” Chuck said, clearing his throat a little to break the respective couples out of their moments. “So, are you two planning anything for Thanksgiving?” 

“Thanksgiving? You guys still celebrate that?” Even asked with a little eyebrow raise. “I thought that the whole holiday was about how you guys took the land from the Indians. They were like forced out and stuff? I could’ve sworn it was a whole political thing, too.” 

“Yeah, there was a candidate the last election who wanted to change it,” Chuck said, rolling his eyes and sitting back a little in his seat. “But, honestly, it’s part of our history now. We don’t want to forget it, or let anything like it happen again. So, it’s good to celebrate and remember. It’s just about it being taught right. Plus, it’s a reason to stuff our faces with some of the best food combos ever.” 

“Chuck and Taylor are an excellent cooking team,” Dex said with that little gleam in his eye, shining over the pride for his man before looking back at Even and Isak. “You guys should come, especially since you’ve never experienced it. And we will not take no for an answer.”

 

_Monday, Nov. 25_

There was no rushing home in the traffic out there. No matter how close Isak was to home, it still was going to take an eternity to get there. He missed the streets where he came from, where, yeah, there was some traffic and stupid drivers. But for the most part, getting to and from some place wasn’t a big To-Do. Just simple and relaxed, where it took him practically the same time everyday to get home, so even when Even wasn’t picking him up, he knew when he’d see him again. The traffic in California was too unpredictable--always bad but never the same. It could be hours until he saw Even, and he wished he was exaggerating. 

On that particular day, the traffic was enough to push him over the edge. He was in an Uber pool with a chatty driver and a fellow passenger who was doing everything he could to make sure the conversation fell on Isak. He almost even pretended that he couldn’t speak English, and he was really regretting that he hadn’t then. 

After his day at work, he just wanted home. He wanted Even his arms and whatever delicious food he was making for dinner in his stomach. 

It was just that the situation with Harper felt so familiar. He thought they were fine even after she brought Chase to their outing. He understood her position and he was willing to keep working with her on it, but she didn’t want any of it. She told him that he and his friends needed to stay away in the one moment he got to talk to her that morning. 

It felt off-balance, too. It was weird that Harper was so unstable, given the career path she was taking. For some reason, when things like that were off, it made Isak feel like maybe he was the one who was off. He had to take a step back and analyze situations was it he who was unstable, and she the one who was actually thinking right here? But, even when he stepped back like that, he still knew it was her. And that only made him want to help more. 

But instead he was avoiding her; taking longer ways to get places because he knew her routes around the hospital and he really didn’t want to have an encounter. The brief one that morning had provided enough chill to last Isak a lifetime. Besides, maybe it was just space she needed—he could be hopeful. 

“Honey, I’m home,” He practically sang, ready to collapse right into Even, who was right in the kitchen, at the stove. Whatever he was cooking smelled so good, Isak could’ve lifted into the air and floated over to the food. 

“Welcome home, Baby,” Even said with a smile, stirring just a bit more and then reaching over to turn the burner down. He had a cloth over his shoulder but still some splatters on the white shirt he was wearing. They met halfway from the door to the stove, Isak deciding to actually be dramatic about it and _fall_ into his arms, which didn’t have a great outcome. Even wasn’t expecting it and Isak’s mouth knocked off his shoulder, making him bite his lip pretty good. 

“Fuck,” Isak groaned, feeling like that could be the last straw for the day. He pulled back and his hand flew to his mouth, catching some blood in it. He wasn’t sure if it was that bad or the panicky way he’d touched his mouth, so he looked up at Even, who was already turning towards the sink and finding a clean towel to wet. He thanked him as he handed it to him then put it on his mouth, applying pressure for a moment, “What’re you making?” 

“Beef Stroganoff,” Even said, looking at the stove for a quick second then back at Isak. “Colette’s coming over so I thought I’d make her favorite. I found a really good recipe for it, I think you’ll both love it.” 

“ _Colette’s_ favorite?” Isak suddenly snapped, one hand flying out while the other stayed firmly on his throbbing lip. “What about me? What about my favorite? When was the last time you made my favorite?” 

“I don’t know, when was the last time you asked me to?” Even asked, very calmly, as if Isak wasn’t angry and upset, which just ended up escalating the feelings. 

“I shouldn’t have to ask every time!” Isak was pretty sure he was yelling but he couldn’t help it. “Fy faen, Even. I mean, I get it, she’s having our babies, I love her too! Everyone does! But I’m your _husband_. You...you don’t get it. Forget it. I’m going to go lay down. Enjoy Colette’s favorite dinner.” 

“Isak!” Even called after him as Isak stormed out of the room. But Isak didn’t care, he kept going, slamming the door behind him when he got to their bedroom. He went straight to the mirror to assess the damage to his lip. It was swollen but the cut wasn’t bleeding so bad anymore, and it definitely wasn’t deep enough for stitches. So, he dabbed the towel a couple more times on his lip and then set it down and stepped out of his pants. Then he got into bed and squirmed all the way under the blankets. 

He didn’t anticipate moving for the rest of the night. He just wanted the day to be over. 

“Baby…” Of course it didn’t take Even long to be easing his way into the room. Isak heard the slow squeak of the door, his slow footsteps, and his tender voice before he felt the bed dip beside him and a gentle hand on his side over the blankets. “Want to come out of there and tell me what’s going on?” 

“I’m staying here for the rest of the night,” Isak answered, wanting to cave into the gentleness in his voice, but still feeling so mad. 

“Ooookaaaay,” Even said slowly before starting to move. Isak thought he might be leaving at first but then he lifted the blankets and crawled under next to Isak. “Now you don’t have to move to tell me what’s going on. You don’t even have to move after you tell me. I’ll bring you your dinner in bed and join you when Colette leaves.” 

“Even, stop being so nice,” Isak groaned, rolling over onto his left side so that his back was to Even. “I’m mad. I mean, yeah, we solve every problem by saying we need to talk more but have we forgotten that love is about the unspoken things too? The things you do just because you love me, like you do for Colette?” 

“Well I don’t love Colette like I love you, I just feel in debt,” Even said, wrapping an arm around Isak’s waist and pulling him right into him to spoon him up close. “But, I’m going to be honest, I like the idea of the unspoken things because if we ended one more fight with saying we needed to talk more, I think I might lose my mind.”

“Well, we should still talk,” Isak groaned, squirming a little bit and then giving up. He was trying to be mad but he was having a hard time holding onto the anger, especially with Even so close and so comfortable. “But we should show we love each other without words too.” 

“Like cooking you your favorite food because I want to make you smile,” Even said, kissing the back of his ear. “Or buying you chocolates just because I know you’ve got a sweet tooth...Or, maybe something more _physical_?”

“Mmm,” Isak said, letting go of the last little shred of anger as Even kissed the back of his neck. “That is something that we never seem to skimp on. It would be a real problem if it was.” Isak sighed and slowly turned around. He pulled the blankets back a little so he could see Even. 

“Your poor lip,” Even pouted a little, leaning in an giving a gentle kiss to Isak’s swollen bottom lip. It was mostly numb, but he did feel a faint pang of hurt from the touch. But it sent tingles down to his toes because it was Even. And maybe he let go of his anger too easily, but he trusted Even’s words and he didn’t even want to be upset to begin with. He had just wanted to go home and do exactly this—and have food, which they could certainly do after. 

“It's the price I pay for loving you so much,” Isak told him as Even moved to straddle him, reaching up and touching his cheek when he was settled with his thighs clutching Isak's hips. “I just wanted you to hold me.” 

“Does this count?” Even asked, squeezing Isak’s hips with his thighs and running a hand through Isak’s hair. His other hand traced Isak’s bottom lip while his eyes gleamed with a shallow curiosity. Shallow because he knew it counted, and he knew it could be so much more. So, Isak just nodded and reached up, wanting to touch Even too. He had let go of his anger but he was still shaken, and Even was the best way to get rid of that tension. 

“And on a scale of one to ten, how much does this hurt?” Even asked, leaning down and slowly pressing a kiss to Isak’s lips. The pressure felt off since his bottom lip was swollen, making it feel like he was pressing down harder on the bottom, making it throb with the best kind of pain. And, maybe Isak would regret it later, but he pressed harder, kissing him back faster, harder, not even wanting to give Even the illusion that it hurt at all because he never wanted to stop. 

Apparently, neither did Even, but he was careful anyway, only biting at Isak’s top lip, gently running is tongue along the bottom. Isak tangled his fingers up in Even’s hair and held his face close, even still as Even kissed down his neck. Isak just tilted his head back and let out a little happy sigh. This was the opposite of pain, his lip didn’t even matter and it certainly wasn’t stopping anything. 

“This is a nine on the pleasure scale,” Isak said with a little giggle as Even kissed a ticklish spot behind his ear. 

“Hmm,” Even hummed, kissing down his neck a little more, then finding the perfect spot between his neck and shoulders to sink his teeth into. He sucked at the skin there, warming it and making the skin tingle, and the longer he lingered the more it was taking away from the pain in his lip, the two suddenly feeling so similar, they could’ve been one. Even pulled back with a little smirk, rubbing Isak’s bottom lip gently with his thumb. “Only nine, huh?”

“I think we could bump it up to an eleven,” Isak told him, sliding his hand down Even’s chest to his stomach, where he grabbed onto his shirt and pulled it off. Even followed in suit quickly, pulling off Isak’s shirt as he sat up and then pushing him right back down. Isak always felt a little jolt when Even took control, because he knew he was in for a treat. His heart and dick lurched all at the same time as Even leaned down and started kissing around his chest, saving his nipples for last. 

Isak moaned out just a little as Even bit, bruised, and licked around his nipples, taking his time. Isak was officially ridiculously turned on and ready to rip off Even’s jeans and jump into it, but Even was in charge and he was going to treat Isak right. He trusted that Even could and would easily blow his mind. He knew Isak’s body better than Isak himself. 

So Even continued is trek down between Isak’s ribs and down his stomach. One of his hands slid under Isak’s back, pulling him up into a little arch as his other hand easily began helping Isak squirm out of his boxers as Even continued kissing every-so-slowly down his stomach, his back arching without the need for Even to hold it up. 

“Ten,” Isak managed to sigh, hoping that maybe he could count Even up to the action, make him go faster. Of course, he knew Even already had a plan for all of this mapped out in his head as soon as Isak gave him the go ahead. There was no speeding it up, just enjoying the process, the build up, the beautiful time he had with Even to forget about anything that was upsetting him. 

He asked Even once if he got even a fraction of the pleasure Isak felt when sex went like this. He was so spoiled and catered to sometimes in bed, it felt like there was no way Even could be enjoying it. He must’ve been focusing on Isak alone. But Even said there was plenty of pleasure. He liked seeing Isak turned on. He liked turning him on. He liked seeing Isak get off. He liked getting Isak off. And Isak apparently fucked better the more he was turned on. Or maybe it was all an elaborate excuse so that Isak wouldn’t feel bad for being so spoiled. Either way, Isak made a promise to find his own way to take charge and focus on Even in bed. 

But he still let him do this frequently. Even taking so much care of him as he started kissing slowly down Isak’s abdomen, following the a line on the right side to kiss down in between his legs. A hand slowly started massaging his balls and Isak forgot about his lip, biting right down onto it. 

“Faen,” he hissed, touching his lip immediately, feeling to make sure it wasn’t bleeding again.It wasn’t but Even had already stopped, looking up at him, concerned. “Sorry, I bit my lip but it’s good.”

Isak reached down and grabbed Even’s hair just aggressively enough to make him know he was sure and he meant business. He would’ve even started guiding him, but Even got the message and quickly repositioned himself, looking up at Isak for a moment or two as he ran an extremely light hand over his dick, making his entire body jump, wanting, needing more. Especially now that his lip was throbbing again and his dick was starting to throb right in time with it. 

“Ten point five,” Isak groaned, pulling Even’s head up just a little bit. So, Even smirked, kissing his tip and then slowly sinking his mouth onto Isak’s dick. Isak let his eyes flutter closed, enjoying the warmth of Even’s mouth. He was already so sensitive, the feeling shooting pleasure from his dick right into the bottom of his stomach. He moaned out, certain that if he arched his back anymore, he’d snap in half, so he let himself fall back, gripping Even’s hair harder, pulling almost uncontrollably. 

As Even slowly bobbed his head, his hands roamed from Isak’s sides and into his inner thighs. His fingers pressed gently to the skin there, massaging the muscles and slowly, slowly, slowly spreading Isak’s legs wider beneath Even’s body. There was just so much touch, so much sensation, Isak almost could’ve came. But really, he couldn’t, he could feel the tension rising but his body needed more, and Even knew that, and knew exactly what he was doing. And that was probably what actually drove him wild. 

“Go ahead, say it,” Even said as he slowly popped off, his voice a little raspy, low, and so, so sexy. “Eleven. ‘Cause you know we’re going higher than eleven.”

“Eleven,” Isak appeased as Evens hands slipped up underneath Isak, gripping his ass hard, nails slowly scratching the skin and making Isak hiss. Isak couldn’t help but spread his legs wider, feeling Even’s breath just beneath his dick, spreading Isak’s cheeks and slowly licking over his hole. He moaned out again, his back jolting back into the arch. 

“Mmm,” Even hummed happily at Isak’s reaction, his hands gliding up to Isak’s mid-back as his tongue swirled around and prodded at his hole. It was simply mind-numbing, making it hard to focus. As far as he was concerned, there were only two things his mind had capacity for in that moment: Even and pleasure. 

“Twelve,” Isak confirmed squeakily, his mind apparently not even having the capacity to find his voice. Even’s hands just kept moving, around his back, to his sides, back to his ass, to his thighs until they circled up, stopping at his hips and slowly lifting himself back up. He looked at Isak and smiled, sitting up a little more and adjusting himself as he moved a hand slowly up Isak’s body, up his stomach, chest—circling his nipples—up his neck, over his chin, tracing his lips and then popping two fingers into his mouth. 

Even watched intently as Isak sucked on his fingers, pursing his lips just a little and salivating just enough to get them perfectly wet. But Even didn’t stop once they were sufficiently wet, he just pumped his fingers in and out of Isak’s mouth a few more times, watching as if in a trance. So Isak appeased him for the moment, swirling his tongue around his fingers, seducing him as much as he could with the little act. 

It worked, Even’s head lolling just a little, his eyes basically sparkling with need as he slowly pulled his fingers out. Adjusting himself back, he dipped back down, using his other hand to spread Isak’s cheeks as he used his tongue and his fingers to open Isak up. Isak was a moaning, sweating mess by the time he was done, but so fucking ready for more. 

Isak grabbed the lube from his bedside and tossed it beside Even as Even pulled back. He smiled and licked his lips, pulling off his boxers and grabbing the lube. He kept eye contact with Isak as he squirted it into his hands and slathered it on his dick. Isak didn’t think, he just sat up and pressed his lips to Even’s wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him back down on top of Isak. His hands were still on his dick, but now he was positioning himself between Isak’s legs and guiding his dick to Isak’s hole. 

All of Isak’s tension eased as Even pressed himself inside. Still so slow and moaning into Isak’s mouth as if he had been building up his own tension, too. They moved slowly, Isak arching his back again and pressing his stomach to Even. Isak hooked his arms under Even’s shoulders and gripped onto his shoulder blades, wrapping a leg around Even’s and spreading the other as wide as possible. 

They moved as one, their lips moving sloppier and sloppier against each other’s. Isak didn’t even feel a pain in his lip anymore, just the pleasure shooting up and around his body as they moved. He forgot why he was upset, he forgot why he was ever jealous of Colette, he just remembered Even and everything was good. 

“Twently,” Isak managed to grunt as Even left his lips and bit down his jaw and his neck, using his teeth and nipping just perfectly at Isak’s skin, leaving each place with a stinging pleasure. They kept moving together, Isak’s leg tightening around Even’s. The biting stopped at the edge of Isak’s shoulder and Even pulled back, hands gripping Isak’s sides with his thumbs just below his ribs as he started moving his hips with more determination, more control, because—once again—he knew what he was doing. 

He was moving his hips faster now, pressing into Isak at the perfect angle, hitting his bundle of nerves perfectly with each thrust, making Isak toss his head and moan louder, his hands having fallen to his sides gripping the sheets beneath him as tight as humanly possible. It was beautiful, perfect, it reminded Isak of how well Even knew him, how much he aimed to please him. It was unspoken, and it always went unspoken in its own way, but it was there. 

They built each other up, grunting, groaning, growling, gripping and grinding together. It could’ve been twenty minutes or twenty hours they spent there, Isak didn’t know and didn’t care. He just knew when he was coming, Even pressing into him hard and ever-determined, tossing his own head back and coming too. 

Even collapsed on top of him when it was over, the two of them breathing heavily into each other’s ears. Isak felt a lot better. His day went out the door and he was leaving it there. He’d figure out Harper, hopefully, eventually, but he had Even and all was good. 

They caught their breath and sat there for a moment. It was a moment just for them to soak up. It was quiet, but Isak heard footsteps in the hall and the bathroom door opening and closing. Still a moment just for them, but with a little twist. 

“Has Colette been here the whole time?” Isak asked, almost laughing because, jesus, they were loud. 

“She said she’s be here in like five minutes right before I came into the room to get you,” Even confirmed, rolling over beside him and running his fingers through his own hair. He held his breath for a moment then turned over on his side. “So, I told her to grab some food and watch some loud TV. Just in case. Of course, I still guarantee she heard everything, seeing as she waited until we were done to go to the bathroom.”

“Oh my god,” Isak laughed a little, putting his hand over his face. It wasn’t the first time they’d had sex with her in the apartment, seeing as she had spent a few nights there, but Isak always made sure to be quieter than usual. He supposed it was one way to squash that tiny bit of jealousy he’d had, Even not caring for a second that she’d heard them. 

 

_Wednesday, Nov 27_  
*  
At work, Even was working on editing a romantic movie with a pending title of “Over the Moon.” He’d hoped the celestial reference meant there would be some deeper meaning hidden within. But, so far it was just a lot of sex, split up by fifteen minute intervals of bad dialogue. He hoped he could edit it into something better, but he was having a hard time. 

It was actually kind of getting him going, making him want Isak there to initiate a little smut of their own. He kind of had a lot of fantasies about having sex with Isak in the workplace, and this job was kind of the perfect for that. Sure, it was unpredictable when they might be interrupted but he had a lock on his door and he ended up alone for at least a couple hours a day, guaranteed. 

He wondered more than once that day if he could convince Isak to come over and sneak him up. But the more he thought the more he knew that Isak would never go for it. Isak couldn’t leave and Even could technically lose his job if they got caught—even though Isak wouldn’t be there to see any of the material.

So, he kept himself under wraps and just focused on editing that morning until somewhere around eleven thirty when he decided he needed an early lunch and maybe a lot more coffee and took a break. He sent Isak snapchats all the way down the hall and to the break room, sending him all the information he could from his morning back-to-back for Isak to open whenever he was free. 

In the break room, he went straight to the coffee, figuring out the brewing options and then finding his lunch where he tucked it in the back of the fridge that morning. He set it down next to the coffee maker and got his phone, preparing to send Isak a snapchat of the coffee pouring into his cup when he saw Isak had already seen his messages and replied twice. 

One was a picture of the wooden desk in front of him with the caption “hope you’re at least enjoying it.” And the next was him, with a pen in his mouth, looking thoughtful and honestly way too sexy to be at work, but it innocently read “I’m practicing my thoughtful therapist face in between consults.” Even wanted to tell him that he better not look at a patient like that, because he _will_ seduce them, but suddenly, he heard someone’s throat clear. He’d thought he was in there alone, especially having picked just before the lunch rush to step into the break room. 

He looked up and it was her, the intern he’d gone to lunch and smoked with once the other day—her name was Kayla or Kathy or Kate or something, he didn't remember. He hadn’t seen her around since, which was fine by him, she was alright but she seemed like someone he could get enough of quickly and he really didn’t care for a relationship outside of being coworkers. Even though she did add him on snapchat, but her stories just intensified his disinterest in her. 

He wouldn’t have minded seeing her around in the break room on any other day. He could’ve smiled and played nice and maybe even sent her in the direction of the office next to his that was almost always in need of intern work. But Isak’s picture kind of sent Even over the edge, and he was a little hard. He didn’t even want to look down and see if it was visible, he just panicked and turned around, quickly walking out of the room and as fast as he could to the restroom down the hall. He’d probably have to deal with her at some point, but not then. 

He skipped the urinals and grabbed the second stall in, closing the door behind him. Frantically, he reached for his phone out of his pocket, hoping to call Isak and be talked out of all of this. But instead, his phone slipped out of his hands and fell into the toilet with an extremely unsatisfying and heart-sinking thunk. 

“ _Fy Faen_ ,” he groaned, knowing that it was water resistant and could end up being fine with a little rice, but he really didn’t want to reach into a toilet. Or use a phone that had been in the toilet. He’d honestly prefer a new phone. But he groaned and rolled up his sleeves anyway because Isak would kill him if he just let it go. 

At least his boner was gone. 

He fished it out and then went over to the sinks, rinsing it off a little and grabbing a ton of paper towels. He was drying it off and contemplating when he should go back for his food and coffee when she walked in—he was pretty sure her name was Kate. In the guys bathroom. Which was extremely weird. All of his red flags were up and he was afraid that he might end up losing his job if she was caught in here with him. 

“This is the guys bathroom,” Even said clearly, waving his hands in the air, one clutching his phone wrapped in paper towels. He looked in the mirror and went back to trying to sop up all the water his phone had taken in. “The ladies room is right across the hall, so.” 

“I had a theory after I’d seen your hands,” The intern—Kate?— said, biting her lip seductively. She looked at his face, let her eyes roam down his body, looking at his hands then his crotch. “I was totally right. Really, impressive. But in the break room? What, are you editing a porn today?” 

“Confidential. None of this is your business, actually,” Even said, turning back to the sink and wiping up his phone some more. He grabbed the rest of the paper towels, emptying out the roll and trying to make sure to dry every crevice. It was probably already good, but it was better to focus on than the conversation Kate was trying to have. It was too much for him. “And you shouldn’t even be in here. Are you trying to get me into trouble?” 

“Oh God, no,” She said, shaking her head and walking over over to the sink anway. Her hair was in the same ponytail as the day he’d met her, and today she had eyeliner with wings under her glasses, and maybe he was judging books by their cover, but she didn’t look like the type to be acting like this. She jumped up on top of the sink, sitting right next to where Even stood. “I put an out of order sign on the door before I came in, because I always come prepared. I thought I could help you out.” 

“Help?” Even asked, his heart dropping at the thought of the possibilities. He needed to get out of there. “I don’t need any help today, everything I’m doing is under contract and very top secret. I’m sorry. I know how boring being an intern can be but as long as you keep it up, your day will come. I’ll let you know if anything comes up.” 

“The fact that you know what I mean and still come up with such a PG response is really..sexy,” She said, leaning a little closer to Even and causing him to take a step back. “Seriously, come on, this could be so secret, only you and I would know, we wouldn’t have to tell a soul. Then no one gets hurt and we can squash this tension.” 

“There’s no tension,” Even said immediately, stepping back, holding his and in his phone. “But, actually, now that I think about it, I do need a favor from you. I need you to go to the store and get some plastic baggies and rice for my phone.” 

He handed her the corporate card and then started walking towards the door. “When you get it, bring it to my office, please. You can just knock and leave it at the door. I’ll let Benji know that’s what you’re out doing just in case he needs anything. Questions?”

He didn’t actually care if she had questions, he just needed to get out of there and to her supervisor so that he could let him know and get her out of his hair. He wanted to tell Benji about her behaviour, too, but he decided not to. She was confusing and definitely too bold, but it was harmless. He could handle it.   
*

_Thursday, Nov. 28_

A third round of appetizers came out about an hour after Even and Isak got to Mallory and Taylor's. They weren't really sure if they should partake in Thanksgiving in America, but their friends insisted it was a must. For the food. Not the appetizers—though Isak totally could eat a million pieces of the celery with peanut butter and raisins on it and he was pretty sure Even had a good few devilled eggs. 

“So, what I'm getting is that you all get together to eat all day, is that right?” Even joked, taking a sip of the mimosa in his hand. They'd also planned to be drinking all day, given the amount of champagne they had, too. Isak wasn't complaining because eating and getting drunk were great things. He wouldn't mind spending the day doing both.

“A lot of people watch football, too,” Dex said, looking around and laughing a little. “But definitely not this crowd.” 

“I'm okay with skipping that part,” Isak agreed, never really liking American football. “So, booze, food and football for most? Interesting holiday.” 

“Kids love the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade,” Mallory added. 

“Okay but mostly, dummies, it's about giving thanks,” Collette said, looking surprised that no one else brought it up yet. “And, unless you're Chuck and Taylor who think it's lame, you go around and tell people what you're grateful for, reflect on it, remind yourself how lucky you are.” 

“I’m totally up for participating this year,” Chuck said with a sappy little smile towards Dex that told everyone in the room why without another word about it. 

“If you’re getting all sappy because of Dexter, I think I’m going to have to disown you,” Taylor said, somewhat joking with her eyebrows raised. And, it was totally a joke but Isak felt the betrayal, obviously there was some sibling solidarity being disrupted, maybe even some sort of back story about the Holidays that Isak was unaware of. It made him curious, but he shoved it aside. 

“My poor little grouch will only get sappy when we’re alone later,” Mallory told the group, pinching Taylor’s cheek much to her disdain. “We can’t expect her to break that tough exterior in front of all of you.” 

“Well, at the risk of being disowned by my one and only sister, I am thankful for you,” Chuck said with a cheesy smile plastered on his face as he turned his head to Dex and fluttered his eyelashes as dramatically as possible. Making fun of the cheesiness as much as he could so that Taylor wouldn’t feel totally left out. 

“I’m thankful for you, too,” Dex said with a smile, pecking him on the lips and looking around, “And everything else I’m generally thankful for, you know, the color blue, suede Chukkas, bow ties, and science.” 

“Science, specifically Astronomy,” Colette shrugged, sitting back and eating another piece of peanut butter filled celery. “He’s actually a nerd. Be around him in any academic setting and he will annoy the shit out of you. He’s been thankful for it since I’ve known him.” 

“I knew I liked you,” Isak said with a laugh. It seemed that there was still so much more to learn about their friends there. Isak actually would’ve guessed that Dex was an airhead, that his glasses were more of a fashion statement than a necessity. But, once again, he pushed it to the side, hoping that they’d have enough time there to learn everything about them. “Should I say what I’m thankful for?” 

“Wait, let me guess,” Even said, wrapping his arm around Isak’s shoulders and smiling knowingly. “There’s me, obviously, since forever. Oh and sex...with me, obviously— “ 

“I’m going to stop you,” Isak said swiftly reaching over and covering Even’s mouth to try to aid the process, but as always, he licked the palm of his hand. Isak just rolled his eyes and kept his hand there. “You already know that that doesn’t work anymore. But yes, you, always you and everything that comes with you. But there’s Milo, Eva being on the up and up. And I don’t even think we need to mention that we’re _both_ thankful for Colette.”

“And I mean, everyone huh?” Even asked, once Isak let his hand fall from his mouth to his shoulder, positioning himself more sideways in his lap. Even squinted his eyes thoughtfully for a moment, “How do you even narrow down everything you’re thankful for. I mean, fy faen, there’s so much.” 

“Well, you should be thankful every other day too,” Taylor said, maybe the Thanksgiving Grinch but speaking very knowingly about the matter. “But sometimes people forget, that’s why they like to bring it up today. It just pulls focus and makes some people feel like they don’t need to care the rest of the year.” 

“Well, I’d say you’re in very thankful company, Tay,” Mallory said, kissing her cheek. “I’m thankful for you every single day. And I’m thankful for your new job, and our friends and families. And I know you are too so you don’t have to get sappy or anything.” 

 

_Friday, Nov. 29_

After such a completely done up day of food and friends the American way, Even and Isak decided to have an evening with their friends and a classic Norwegian meal. Even was using his Dad’s perfectly tweaked recipe for Kjøttkaker and their friends were going to love it. Sure turkey, gravy, and sweet potatoes topped with marshmallows was a pretty interesting meal, but Isak had a feeling they were really going to love this. 

Especially because Even’s parents—honestly, mostly his Dad—had the best recipes. Isak only had a few things that his parents used to make that he thought they made the best of. Most of the best food he’d ever had came from the Bech Næsheims. They were cuisine royalty in his eyes, which is why Even was always the one making the meals. That and Isak burned everything, but he’d rather focus on how good Even was as opposed to how bad he was. 

They even put on some of their favorite Norwegian music for ambiance—a playlist they basically spent all night making with music from 1990 to the current stuff. They planned on dinner, getting drunk and telling them all about the world of Russ. Even wanted to throw in some Norwegian film, so they set a few classics to the side, but Isak was pretty sure they'd all end up too drunk for movies and they certainly couldn't be on with the music. 

Dex and Chuck were busy with their own thing and said maybe they'd show up later on, but it ended up being a good crowd with Mallory, Taylor, Colette and Peter. They showed up in pairs, first Mal and Tay and then Collette and Peter a little less than a half an hour later. Isak thought on and off about inviting Harper but he always landed on no. Mostly because there was the possibility of Chase being brought, but also because if she didn't bring him, she'd be some sort of seventh wheel. 

“Dinner is almost ready,” Isak told everyone as he popped his head into the living room to tell the others. They had taken turns—Isak mostly—leaving their little conversation circle and checking in on Even in the kitchen to give him a hand. They were all getting antsy because they were hungry, so Isak had gone out to check one last time. He found Even getting ready to plate the food, which he’d obviously need help with so Isak let the others know and then walked back over to Even, following his instructions on what to place where and how to make it perfect. 

“One day, this is what we’ll be doing with our kids in the other room, waiting for us to tell them it’s time for dinner,” Isak said with a smile, thinking about what it’d be like for a moment. It just made him smile wider, and he went to tell Even about the vision, a boy and a girl finishing up their homework, telling them about their day over supper, but before he could, there was a knock at the door.

“Did you invite Harper?” Even asked, raising an eyebrow and grabbing a towel to wipe his hands as he headed towards the door. Isak set down the ladle and followed him, because, no he didn’t invite anyone. Maybe it was a solicitor or someone spreading the word of God, or a murderer. In any case, Isak would be with him. Even went to just swing open the door but Isak stopped him, swinging his arm out in front of him to stop him in his tracks and then looking out the peephole. It was a girl with dark, messy hair and makeup and tears streaming down her face from behind her glasses. 

“It’s some girl, she’s crying,” Isak said, suddenly stricken with a dilemma. Did they answer it and see what was wrong? Or was that not safe? Should they call the cops to get her safe? What if she was running from someone, though. She knocked again, a little more frantically. Isak stepped back, looking at Even with wide eyes. But, Even just shrugged and started slowly opening the door, making sure he had control of it to close it if she tried anything. 

“Oh,” Even said, as if realizing something, and then the door swung open and the girls jumped in, on Even, crying hysterically while her arms gripped at and around him. Even stood frozen, but Isak jumped into action. What was she doing to him, what was going on? He was just about to separate him when he realized the girl was saying his name. 

“Ev-en, Even, oh, I fo-ou-ound you, Even, Ev-eeen,” It was really hard to hear in the hysterics, but there it was. She knew him. She was… looking for him? “Oh m-y-y Go-dd. I nee-ee-eed you to-oo-oo hold me-eeeee.” 

He stopped dead and Even looked at him. He looked shocked, and Isak was, too, but he was pretty sure for different reasons. Who was this girl? How did Even know her and she wanted him to _hold_ her? What the fuck was going on?

“How did you know where I was?” Was the first thing out of Even’s mouth. Now Isak was frozen as Even pulled the girl back, holding her by her shoulders and then suddenly catching her at her hips as she started to fall to the ground. “Kate, what the fuck is going on?” 

 

“Snapcha-at,” She sniffled, suddenly a little less hysterical, a little more pathetic as Even held her. She looked up at him and then wiped her eyes a little. “Your loca-ation is on. I’m having a rea-eally bad day.” 

“I’m sorry, Kate, is it?” Isak asked, stepping up beside Even now instead, wrapping his arm around his waist and using his left hand to scratch his chin for a moment to show off the ring and tattoo. “Having a bad day does not mean you stalk someone into their home unannounced. So, unless you have a better excuse than _bad day_ I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” 

“Isak..” Even was going to protest, but he let go of her instead and shrugged a little, a defeat that seemed fishy. 

“The husband, the matching tattoo, you _are_ real,” Kate said, looking him up and down in a way that Isak didn’t like. She wasn’t checking him out ot check him out, she was sizing him up, ready to try to dig in and find his weaknesses. He knew the type. “I told him I liked affairs, I thought he was making it up to get into my pants.” 

“Well now that’s not true,” Even said, astounded, shaking his head and then looking at Isak. “It’s not true.” 

“I know,” Isak sighed and looked her over in the same way that she had with him. 

“Kate’s an intern at work,” Even explained to Isak before looking at Kate, “This is all really inappropriate. I’m sure you have other friends if you’re going through something...We’ve got company over so you need to go. I’m sorry.” 

“I see that,” She said, clicking her tongue and looking past them for a moment before turning around and walking right out the door again. Even and Isak watched and then looked back to where she was looking to find their friends peeping into the doorway, having watched the whole whatever-that-was. 

“Give me your phone,” Isak said, reaching into Even’s pocket and taking it out without his permission. But he knew Even didn’t care and if he did, then it’d mean he had something to hide. But he let Isak fish around and take it out. Definitely not hiding anything. “I’m turning your location off so you can’t be stalked like that. You’re too pretty and stalkable.” 

“Who the hell is that crazy?” Chuck asked from the doorway, laughing and shaking his head. The rest of them filtered in, ready for whatever gossip that was about to bring. 

“We don’t use the word crazy,” Isak said immediately, handing Even’s phone back and then moving to step in front of him. “She may be in some serious need for a therapist, though. I mean...you didn’t do anything to lead her on, did you?” 

“Not that I know of,” Even said, shaking his head and putting his hands on his hips. “I told her about you, I showed her the ring and tattoo and have told her to stay away, really.” 

“So, she’s been bugging you, then?” Isak asked, feeling a little on edge but knowing that their friends were there watching, and he didn’t want to blow up. “You haven’t told me anything about this. And why did you add her on snapchat if she was so obsessed? Even, this isn’t even just me, it’s your job.”

“He’s got a point,” Colette said as the rest of them filtered into the kitchen, sitting at the table. “You can’t give her any inkling of hope. You need a strictly business relationship because you don’t want your superiors thinking that there’s something more going on. Most offices have rules against dating people who rank lower than you for a number of reasons that could result in legal suits.” 

“Thank you,” Isak said, always happy when Colette jumped in for him because she and Even seemed to have the stronger relationship. He gave her a smile and then looked at Even seriously. “But also me. I don’t want to think that when you’re away at work, pretty, young girls, are jumping all over you. Literally.” 

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Even said, looking only a little bit torn on the solution. Isak understood, they had no idea why she was crying or jumping all over Even like that and it was absolutely unsettling leaving someone out in the cold under those conditions. But, to Isak, it didn’t feel like there was anything wrong. It kind of seemed like a whole set up to him. Was she vindictive enough for that? He bet Even didn’t even know that answer. “I’ll delete her on snapchat and handle it and avoid. Deal?” 

“Just keep me updated,” Isak sighed and gave him a little peck on the lips before turning to their friends. “So, we’re eating at the table for the first time ever, or were you just hoping for a show?” 

“Well, a dinner and show is always the best,” Dex said, smiling and taking a napkin to make a show of putting it in his lap. Apparently, it was decided. They were eating at the table.

 

_Saturday, Nov. 29_  
*  
After Isak’s little bout of jealousy over Colette, Even decided to dial down on any solo plans he had for the two of them. When it came to the surrogacy, maybe they would’ve been safer using one of their friends, and a separate egg—or even still using Colette and donor eggs would’ve been better. After all, if there was any ever possibility that Isak could be into Colette, Even would be jealous too. Sure, her being pregnant had nothing to do with any of them having any sort of romantic relationship, but there was something about her carrying their children, sharing DNA with their children, that made it just a little bit blurry. 

And maybe he was focusing on her a little too much. He’d make mental notes, but after Isak’s meltdown, there was no forgetting. He loved Isak, he didn’t want him feeling like that ever again. 

So the three of them were at the mall. Colette was officially showing and her clothes were going to stop fitting her, so she and Even had made the plans to go to the mall together. Even thought maybe he had been sparing Isak a shopping trip when he’d made the plans, but now he was certain that it was much better to drag him along. Besides, Isak could probably use a few more button-ups for work, anyway. 

“Sorry, but the minute you said mall, I thought pretzels,” Colette explained as she got into the too long line for Wetzel’s Pretzels—especially seeing as there would be another pretzel stand in the next 200 steps as it seemed to be with every mall. “And now I need a pretzel, immediately. But look, there’s a baby store right there, maybe you can start looking for what you might want for your baby shower.” 

“Oh no, that’s way too far away to even be thinking about,” Even said, shaking his head and tightening his grip around Isak’s waist. Even was a little more superstitious now that things were in motion, he didn’t want to think too far ahead and jinx it. Anything could happen and he'd do everything he could to prevent anything bad from happening. If that meant being a little bit superstitious, so be it. “Besides, we can't really have one out here. Imagine how expensive shipping all that stuff back to Norway would be.” 

“I keep forgetting you guys are going back,” Colette said, a little, teeny tiny laugh coming out of her mouth. It sounded bittersweet, sad. But she tried to buck up some confidence. “I mean, obviously, duh….. We'll stay in touch, right? I mean, we can send you gifts..” 

“How about we don't talk about any of this right now?” Isak suggested, clearing his throat and motioning in front of Colette because the line was moving up behind her. They followed the line and he went on. “It's just so far away, Even and I like to do a more of a now kind of thing. Minute by minute. You never actually know what the future will hold. We'll get there when we do.” 

“Right, minute by minute,” She said somewhat quietly, her hands going to her stomach and rubbing it for a moment. “Even told me. You guys are so…”

“Sickening?” Isak asked.

“Sweet?” Even asked at the same time. 

“Amazing,” She said, sudden defeat crossing her face and immediate tears suddenly starting to fall. They’d seen it before. An influx of emotions suddenly overcoming her. It was those hormones everyone talked about when talking about pregnant women. The kind that made people call them crazy, and Isak seemed to handle the mood swings so much better than Even, that he felt crazy. He wanted to help her, make her feel better, but the moods were too strong; maybe he wasn’t equipped because he suffered from extreme moods himself. 

“Honey,” Isak said as he quickly wrapped his arms around her and looked at Even with worried eyes. He knew exactly where the worry was coming from—she had, after all, started crying after they talked about going home with their family. “Let’s get that pretzel and find somewhere to talk, yeah? Just deep breaths.” 

Colette never cried and talked at the same time. It was both frustrating and nice. There was no guessing what she was saying under hiccups and snot, just straight to the point when she was calm enough. But on the flip side, there was a whole lot of worry and wonder as to what was on her mind, what could help her while she was breaking down. So they got her a pretzel, found a little corner behind a pillar to get at least a little privacy,and let her cry as she ate. 

Even and Isak shared a pretzel of their own, Isak sitting in the middle of the two of them with an arm around Colette as they sat. The couple of other times that Colette had some sort of moody breakdown in front of them, she initiated the conversation once she’d calmed down. Once the gasping and tears stopped, she’d slowly start talking, start spilling what was on her mind, no matter how small it may have been. But this time, she just kept eating instead of saying anything. 

“The pretzels were definitely a good idea,” Isak eventually said, looking at Colette hopefully then at Even when she didn’t say anything. Even swallowed kind of hard and looked back at him. He didn’t know Colette to be silent either. It seemed like a second of back and forth mind arguing over which of them was going to say anything, but Even won and Isak went on. “Hey, Colette, I guess I want to ask how you’re feeling. I mean, about the surrogacy. I know generally, everything’s okay, but..”

“You really don’t need to worry about the babies,” Colette said, popping the final bite of her pretzel into her mouth and then wiping it off. “They’re yours. Take them to Norway, that’s fine. I’m still totally up for this. But actually, Mal just texted me and I totally forgot I was going to help her with this thing for school. So, I’m gonna go meet her.” 

“You’re our ride,” Was the first thing Even could think, feeling like he needed to do something to grip onto her. She was running, or getting ready to, and he didn’t know where but he couldn’t let her. “And what about our shopping date?”

“Another time, really. And I’ll venmo you some money for an Uber,” Colette said, standing up and slinging her purse over her shoulder. They stood up and she gave them quick hugs and a fleeting goodbye before she was off. Before they could stop her.   
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are welcome.


	13. Forward is the Only Real Direction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and thank you for reading, here is a chapter that took a bit to write but I hope you enjoy

_Monday, Dec. 2_

Isak stared at his phone, telling himself for the millionth time that he and Even were going to sit down and figure out a better transportation system. The bus routes worked but made Isak way too early when he took the one that didn’t make him late, and services like Uber were so expensive and took so damn long to even get to him. He missed the buses in Oslo, he missed when Even could pick him up from work and they’d take the long way home. He missed there being a long way home that wasn’t just his actual route plagued with traffic. 

Today, for whatever reason, his Uber was going to take 17 minutes to get to him. But he already ordered it, and if it was on time, it’d still be three minutes sooner than the bus since he already missed the one he’d usually take. He’d definitely talk to Even, they had to figure something out. For today he’d just sit and wait in misery. And he was definitely going to pretend he didn’t speak any English once he was actually in the Uber. That way he didn't need to make annoying small talk with some stranger when he was already on edge. 

“Isak, hey,” Someone said, making Isak look up from his phone. He looked up and it was Harper, with the sun behind her, dulling the edges of her figure. Despite her despising Isak, she was smiling small. So Isak nodded a little, not sure what was about to happen, the last time she spoke to him directly, she had made it very clear they were done. “I just...I just wanted to see if something was wrong. You were a little off today.” 

“Why do you care?” Isak asked, looking back down at his phone as his Uber jumped up to twenty minutes. He suppressed a groan and set it to the side, still looking away from her. 

“I care, Isak,” She said eventually. Isak looked back at her now and she just shrugged a little. She was obviously in some sort of limbo; she didn’t know what to do with herself. Did she have other friends she was talking to about Chase? Or were all her friends his? He didn’t know enough, but he worried anyway. He cared too. Maybe she needed a distraction, and what was a better distraction to a therapist than other people’s problems, anyway. 

“It’s actually Colette,” Isak said with a sigh, looking down at his phone for a moment. Up to 23 minutes and then the Uber cancelled itself. He supposed he’d be taking the bus. “She had this meltdown the other day. It was like her other mood swings, but this time when it was over, she didn’t go back to normal. She left and she’s not talking to us.” 

“Wait, is that even legal? She’s holding your babies,” Harper said, sitting down next to Isak and making herself comfortable there. 

“I mean, as long as she’s not running off with them,” Isak said, not having wanted to think about any of this. He was really worried, but trying not to be for Even’s sake. “I’ve kind of been keeping tabs on her, it’s only been a day or two and, according to snapchat, which I learned I could do from a crazy stalker of Even’s, by the way, she’s been to work and Mallory’s.” 

“I don’t even know which part of that to address first,” Harper told him, joking and putting a hand on his shoulder as she laughed lightly. She gave him a little shake, trying to loosen him up. “You guys signed papers and stuff, right, legally she has to give you the babies?” 

“Yes, we signed papers, but sometimes…” Isak shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment. Sometimes, judges didn’t care. Not when she would be their biological mother. It was blurry. “I just worry, even though I know Colette and it doesn’t feel like something she’d do. But maybe the meltdown changed her.” 

“Want me to try to get her to hang out with me?” Harper asked, sincerely wanting to help. “I could ask her questions or you could ambush her.” 

“No, no,” Isak said, not being able to help but laugh a little. “We have an appointment tomorrow after work, she’s obligated to go, so she’ll be there. We’ll make some sort of resolution then. I just have to keep convincing myself and Even that everything is okay until then.” 

“Well, is there anything I can do? Like at all.” 

“Not unless you want to give me a ride home,” Isak joked, sitting back and looking at the sky.

“Done, let’s go,” Harper said, standing up and then putting her hand out to him. He raised his eyebrows questioningly, took it, and stood up. “It’s the least I can do. And we can spend the whole car ride dissecting the fact that Even’s got some stalker.” 

“Oh my god, she’s an intern at his work and showed up at _our apartment_.”

 

_Tuesday, Dec. 3_

Isak decided to ask to get out of work fifteen minutes early to try to make sure to make their appointment on time, this time. Actually, he’d made the decision after the last appointment when Colette and Even kept berrading him about being late. It hadn’t been that long ago, but right now that appointment felt a world away. 

But he couldn’t wait to get there, to be with Even and Colette in the same room and see if they could figure out whatever it is that was going on. He hated the idea of thinking that they’d made the wrong choice by forgoing gestational surrogacy. Hopefully a cut in price didn’t screw them over with Colette or with the babies. He cared about her. He already loved them. It felt like it had been the right decision. 

Harper had tried to get him to let her give him a ride to the appointment, but he passed. He didn’t want to interrupt her work day, or worry about spending her gas. He had his plan and he was going to get there fine, and he promised to keep her updated. Besides, they were almost back to normal as friends, but there was still a weird tension in the air, he figured it’d be best to wade back into their friendship, less that tension snap. 

So he Ubered there, being nice to the driver for a few minutes before popping in his earbuds and opening the notes on his phone. He wanted to make bullet points of things he wanted to say to Colette, things he needed to ask to get strategic. To try to make this work even if they weren’t going to work as friends. But he didn’t know. Once the note was open, it was all blank. There were no facts or logic to back him up. And with the lack of black and white that totally greyed their situation, Isak was so unsure and worried about what was to come. 

So he just tried to focus on the music. It was a playlist Even had made for him for when he needed to calm down. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if it was the music itself or the thought of Even delicately picking exactly twenty-one hundred and twenty-one songs just for him to listen to when he needed a break, but the playlist always worked and he next thing he knew, his uber was arriving at the clinic. 

He felt proud to find himself being the first one there, and also a little bummed. Colette would’ve made Even be thirty-minutes early had they been together before the appointment. But, it was coming up to ten-to and he was the only one there, sitting in his seat and tapping his foot. His gaze alternated between his phone and the door, waiting for one of them to walk in or text him or something. 

The minutes ticked on slower than he could possibly imagine. 

Even finally confidently strode through about three minutes to the actual appointment time with still no sign of Colette. Even smiled—as always—when he saw him and walked over, leaning down and pecking him on the lips before taking the seat beside him. Isak watched him look around for a moment and then look back at him worriedly. 

“She’ll be here,” Isak assured him, taking his hand and kissing it a couple times. Even was his rock but he needed to be Even’s rock, too. And, he wasn’t sure what it was, but as Isak and Even jumped from experience to experience, there was this instinct that took over. One of them knew that they were the one to handle the situation, to take over, to be strong. As if their subconsciouses knew instinctively who was strong enough to handle what. Even after all these years Isak was still always shocked when he was the one who took over. “Besides, the doctor will know how to handle this. Dr. Carter said she’s gone through this type of surrogacy hundreds of times. _Hundreds_. This is going to be fine.” 

“I love the confidence,” Even said with a smile, worry still clouding his eyes as his pecked Isak’s lips again. He checked his watch and then sighed. “But it’s time and she’s—” 

“Bech Næsheim?” A tiny nurse said through the doorway. Even and Isak looked at each other and stood up. What was the point of this appointment without their surrogate? Isak grabbed Even’s hand and pulled him as he followed the nurse through the door. 

“Our surrogate isn’t here yet, should we wait for her?” Isak asked as they followed, unsure how Colette was supposed to know that they were even there. 

“That shouldn't be a problem as long as she checks in when she gets here,” the nurse told them with a smile as she walked down the hallway. “Dr. Carter would like to check in with you guys, too anyway. Sometimes it's easier to really talk about it without your surrogate there, don't you think?” 

“Oh, I don't know about that,” Isak said with a little shrug, sitting down in a chair to the side when they made it to the room. Even sat beside him and gave Isak a look. There may have been things the two of them would only talk about with each other, but there was nothing that they would tell Dr. Carter that they couldn't tell Colette. Or at least, that was how it had been. “We've been pretty lucky with her.” 

“That's really great,” There nurse told them, taking out a pen and flipping to a page on her clipboard. “Now, is there anything that you'd like me to mention to Dr. Carter before she gets in here? Anything you guys or your surrogate are specifically looking to discuss.” 

“Nope, we're only here for the health of the babies, no problems to speak of,” Isak lied just a little. He wanted to hope that once Collette got there, things would just click all over again. He'd hold out until there was no hope to bring it up. And Even was just following his lead with this one. 

“Great, well Dr. Carter will be just a few minutes and we'll send your surrogate back when she checks in,” the nurse told them with one last smile before leaving the room. 

“Our surrogate does have a name, you know,” Even said in a little bit of an annoyed tone once they were alone. 

“Ev, she wasn't trying to degrade her or anything,” Isak told him, knowing he was on edge and easily annoyed. He put a hand on his cheek and looked him in the eyes, “Not everyone has the relationship we do with their surrogate. It's probably the safest term to use. Or maybe there are just so many surrogates, I don't know. But, just relax. Things are going to be fine. I promise.”

“I'm so lucky to have you,” Even remarked with a faint little smile and a little dazed look of love in his dilated pupils. Their problems weren't solved with Isak's words, but they found the comfort they needed to in each other for the moment being. Even leaned in, giving him a lazy little kiss before moving his chair closer and wrapping his arm around Isak's shoulders. 

“Even, Isak, and still no Colette, huh?” Dr. Carter said as she entered the room a few minutes later. Isak and Even had just been sitting in a comfortable silence, leaning into each other and holding each other up mentally. 

“She should be here soon,” Isak said, looking at his watch. It wasn't like her to be late but the traffic could be even worse than usual or she could've gotten out of work a little late or something. He was sure that he knew her well enough to know that she'd make it there. No matter what was happening between them. And he didn't want to raise any flags, anyway. “And we don't really have much to say, so if you wanted to leave the room and wait for her to get here, that'd be fine.” 

“Huh, don’t you guys usually all come together?” Dr. Carter asked, scrolling through her records on her tablet. “Everything’s okay, isn’t it?” 

Even and Isak shared a look for a moment, both of them feeling uneasy talking about it because neither of them really knew what was going on. That’s why they needed Colette. All of this had to be held up until she could come and explain the sudden cold shoulder. Isak was pretty sure Even was thinking the same from the look in his eyes, to Isak just nodded a little. 

“Really, we should—” 

There was a knock on the door, followed by the tiny nurse escorting Colette in. No need to finish the sentence, no need to wait. Now Dr. Carter could jump in and they could officially figure everything out. Both Even and Isak let out silent sighs of relief, lazing in their seats a little with the weight of her possible absence being off their shoulders. 

“I’m sorry, work ran late and then, traffic, you get it,” She said, waving her hands passively at Even and Isak and then giving Dr. Carter a polite little handshake. “Nice to see you again. Time to see how the little beans are doing, right?” 

“We’ll definitely be checking up on them,” Dr. Carter said with a nod. There was a look in her eyes and a familiar wrinkle between her eyebrows that made Isak sure of what she’d say next. “But first, I think I’d like to address this tension. First I have to ask and have to know the truth as to whether it’s about the surrogacy… you know, in ways that may have to be solved legally. Anything that may complicate things.” 

Even and Isak looked at Colette, who was shaking her head but avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room. When there was no verbal answers, Dr. Carter went on. 

“Like if one of you boys has fallen for Colette, or vice versa and it’s going to complicate the baby’s home life, I need to know,” Dr. Carter said, her tone serious. “Or if someone doesn’t want the babies, or if Colette doesn’t want to give them up or wants to keep one or anything. Come on guys, I’m just going to keep grasping at straws. Maybe there was an awkward three-some?” 

“Okay, okay, no,” Colette finally said as Even and Isak continued to sit their dumb-founded. “None of the above. It’s nothing that screws things up legally. Nothing that affects the surrogacy. It’s just,” She looked up from the spot she’d been staring at on the floor and up at Even and Isak. “It’s really not the babies I want. It’s these two fucking nerds. When I signed up for all this, I thought I’d end up carrying for some older couple, not two people who I want to spend all my time with. Not two people who make me feel the way Isak and Even do just for them to leave me high and dry when they’ve taken what they wanted. It was wrong. I was wrong. We were wrong to do this whole friendship thing during. I can’t handle it.” 

“But we can still be friends, keep in touch, you could even come to Norway,” Even said as if he’d thought of it a million times over. Nothing they'd discussed. Nothing Isak was sure of. He was just a little busy to address it, still processing what Colette was saying, how they were making her feel. Like they were some lame-ass guy, looking for sex, not caring what they did to get to it or how they made her feel. It felt absurd. How could she feel that? Sure, they’d put her up on a pedestal, but it wasn’t only because of what they were getting from her. They loved her.

“You don’t think your kids would wonder if they grew up looking like _’Aunt Colette’_?” She asked, putting air quotes around Aunt Colette. He eyes were tearing up, she was trying to stay cool but she was losing it. “You guys don’t get it. It doesn’t work. We don’t work and I can’t handle holding on for now and getting closer just to lose you eventually.” 

“You’re emotions are running very high, Colette,” Dr. Carter injected quickly in the brief silence. “It’s very normal to feel all this so strongly right now, remember that. And honestly, you being in the babies lives is not altogether unheard of. Even if you do look alike. Whatever will be best for you and for the children is what’s the best for you. Even if it might not be for my other patients.” 

“Maybe so, but all I know is right now, I need my space,” Colette said with finality, wiping away her tears and sitting up wit more confidence. 

“Fine,” Was all Isak could manage before they went on with a very awkward rest of their appointment. 

 

_Thursday, Dec. 5_

“In any case scenario, you guys are a great asset to our group,” Dex told Even and Isak over dinner that night. It was just the four of them, including Chuck. And Chuck and Dex were the ones who reached out to them for the dinner. “We're definitely not going to stop hanging out, even if the pregnant woman wanted us to.” 

“Which she doesn't, I checked,” Chuck said. The two of them were being pretty diplomatic about it. But that was probably just because Isak and Even were maybe too-serious and exuding tension. Isak felt the betrayal of a breakup, the feelings of rejection and sadness, and it stung in unfamiliar ways for him. 

“Good, I'm glad,” Even said with a small smile, hand squeezing Isak's thigh comfortably under the table. The two of them were taking turns taking care of each other now. Isak was never going to not be grateful for that. For Even. And he would always be astounded by how much Even meant to him. 

“So what exactly makes us an asset, anyway?” Isak asked curiously. It was an interesting word to use, in his opinion. He could've easily just said that they'd grown on them. But they were assets. He kind of liked the thought of that. 

“You guys literally jump-started this place back to life,” Dex said excitedly, clapping his hands a little as if getting to explain this was the highlight of his day. “We were in a rut. Colette and Mallory always wanted to stay in. Taylor was bored of literally everything we actually did. Chuck was closeted and definitely not around as much. You brought in some new people too and actual drama oh my God, I feel everything that's just come to life. Like us awh, look at Chuck and I, this is from the little flap of your butterfly wings.” 

“The Butterfly Effect, good movie,” Even said, laughing a little and shaking his head. “That's much too high a praise. The most we do is bring in a little foreign culture and a little extra love.” 

“Taylor and I already bring the culture, we're Italian!” Chuck told them. 

“Oh please, your great, great grandparents came over from Italy,” Dex poked at him cutely. “You're Italian as much as I'm, say, German or Irish.” 

“I was just trying to say that they deserve more praise than just bringing culture to the group, you don't have to attack _how_ Italian I am,” Chuck pretend-argued, poking him back then looking back at them. “In any case, we're your friends, with or without Colette in the picture.” 

“And we're here for you,” Dex backed him up, smiling at their support. 

“Well thanks,” Isak said with a small smile. They were still hoping Collette would come to her senses and really talk to them about all of this. They could figure it out together, Isak just knew it. “But I'm sure all of this will pass, anyway.” 

“Then use us in the meantime,” Dex said slightly suggestively, shaking his shoulders. “We'll be your stand-in Colette.” 

“I'm not sure what that entails but I think we'll pass and just take Dex and Chuck instead,” Even said, rolling his eyes a little and letting his shoulder bump with Isak's. They shared a look of genuine happiness. Things weren't perfect, but they were going to be okay and Isak just felt that in that moment. He was positive for at least the moment. 

“Well good, because I feel Dex is more equipped for this,” Dex said, biting his lip for a moment. “And actually, I've kind of been wondering about your choice here. How do you feel about surrogacy? I mean, as a gay man who's always wanted kids, I always figured I'd adopt, which is already a lot of work. This though… this... Would you do this again, do you think?” 

“We'll have to see how it ends to give you a real report on it, I think,” Isak said, looking at Dex and then Chuck before going back to Dex. “Unless, of course, this is a decision that requires immediate attention? Because really it's just been a roller coaster so far...”

“Whoa, whoa, no, do not drive my boyfriend away so fast,” Dex said, then looked at Chuck a little nervously. He apparently put himself in a bit of a situation without an escape route “I mean, yes, I'd father this beautiful man's children in a heartbeat, but we're not there. I mean, it's so soon.” 

“Awh, you're cute when you're flustered,” Even joked and looked at Chuck. “Noooow I get what you see in him.” 

“Only now? Yeah right, you both wanted me the moment you saw me,” Dex said and faked a dramatic hair flip. “It's cool, I get it. But I'm taken.” 

Isak really hoped that the surrogacy had been the right choice. He’d actually pray to give Dex a good report by the end of all of this. Not because he wanted to make him do it, but because that would mean they’d come out of this happy, with two healthy babies.

 

_Friday, Dec. 6_   
*  
“Hey Dad,” Even answered on the fourth or fifth buzz. His phone was on the coffee table while the two of them were back and forth between cuddling and seriously hot make out sessions that would've definitely went somewhere. Even was going to ignore it, but Isak saw that it was Martin and made him answer it. 

“Hey Even, so glad you answered,” Martin said on the other side, “I got up earlier than normal because I wasn't sure when you be planning on going to bed or if you had some crazy Friday night plans.”

“Actually, Isak and I are beginning a relaxing weekend of just us if we can help it,” Even said, putting the phone on speaker and setting it back down. “He's here in the room and can hear you to too.” 

“If anyone can manage a whole weekend alone, it's you boys,” Martin said with a little laugh before hesitantly going on. “So hey, I don't mean to take up too much of your alone time…” 

“Nonsense Martin, there's always time for you,” Isak said and Even gave him a look. He was such a kiss-up sometimes. And Even would much rather call Martin back in the morning, but that wasn't happening. “Is everything alright?” 

“Well yes, everyone's well,” Martin said, “But yesterday, I realized that I have to shop for Josefine and Ana by myself. So I might be panicking, just a little. I went out searching and I just have no idea. I can't believe how much heavy lifting you boys normally do around the holidays. I mean, I'm going to be making Christmas dinner by myself, Even. And Isak, you always wrap the presents.” 

“We can still help find the presents, at least,” Isak said, thinking fast and jumping up to get his laptop. Even watched with a little smile. Fine, his Dad interrupted them, but he supposed it was for a good cause and it was oh-so-cute how much Isak wanted to help. “We can find stuff for you online and send you the links. I know you prefer store shopping but this works perfectly nowadays. Almost everything is online and can be there in like, two to three days. One day, or even same day if you pay extra.” 

“Well maybe,” Martin said thoughtfully, pausing for a moment, “but what the gifts show up while they're home? Then they'll know.” 

“Get them sent to your work if you're worried about it, Dad,” Even told him, thinking of how Even himself had done that just last Christmas after Isak got something for him that came in a clearly marked JVC box. “Which really isn’t a bad idea because Ana will definitely be on the lookout.” 

“You boys are so smart, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Even’s Dad said sincerely, sending a little jolt of sadness right to his heart. His Dad needed him sometimes, especially now that he lived under a roof alone with Ana and Josefine. They could be a lot to handle sometimes and he could be such a pushover. He was a good guy, though. He let himself be pushed around only because he thought he was making everyone happy. “I’ve got a picture of us three from your wedding on my desk at work. I see it and I think about how you’re doing out there, and I always want to call right then, but the time difference. I miss you, though. Just so you know.” 

“We miss you, too, Dad,” Isak said after the two of them shared a sad little look. It was so sweet. Even didn’t always like Martin, and Even put him through hell for a while in school, but as he grew older, he saw him a lot differently. He cared so much about them and about their family. He was so good to him when he came out of the closet. He supported him and Isak. That was more than a lot of people could say for their parents and Isak liked to remind him of that. “We’ll be home before you know it with the cutest little babies you’ll have seen since Even and Ana.” 

“And I can’t wait for it,” Martin said with a little laugh to it. “Okay boys, I’ll leave you to your Friday night. Raise hell while you can.” 

“Will do, Dad, we’ll send you links as soon as we find everything,” Even told him, “Now go back to bed or make yourself some coffee and throw on some home improvement shows like you like.” 

“Talk to you soon, Martin,” Isak said fondly before they all said one final bye and hung up. 

“I’m so glad to have your Dad,” Isak breathed a sigh of happiness and set his laptop off to the side. “He’s so good. We should get him something really good for Christmas. We should start brainstorming gift ideas this weekend, anyway. We probably should’ve already started this.” 

“I know, I know, but we don’t have to _right now_ ,” Even told him with a little pout, making grabby hands at Isak’s sides. “I mean, one more night isn’t going to do a thing. Plus it’s so much easier now that we can get everyone one gift from both of us” 

“Besides Ana.”

“Yeah, yeah, the brat,” Even said, pulling Isak into his lap and reaching around him to close the laptop for extra measure. “But for now we can get back to what we’ve been doing. We can save that for the morning.” 

“I’m going to hold you to a serious brainstorming session over breakfast, then,” Isak said, pulling out his phone and telling siri to set a reminder for him. “There, it’s a date.” 

“You are ridiculous, Isak,” Even told him, smiling as his heart swelled a little. It was absolutely ridiculous, and Isak would annoyingly hold him to it, but it was Isak and he just loved him and everything he did. Every little quirk. Everything. So he pulled Isak on top of him and kissed him, picking up where they left off.   
*

_Sunday, Dec. 8_

“I knew something was up when you were singing her praises,” Eva told them while they video chatted. They were trying to hide the fact that anything was up with Colette from anyone from home because they were just hoping it'd settle. “You know, I'm not sure I ever even liked her.” 

“You never even met her, Eva,” Even countered, joining Isak back on camera and handing him a beer. “She's really honestly great. She's just...I don't know. I feel like she's just working out everything in her head right now. Once it's all worked out, we'll be back in good graces.”

“She's always known what she was signing up for,” Noora said. She and Eva were sitting beside each other on a blue loveseat that accented Noora's eyes and the red of the wig Eva had chosen for their call. Noora leaned forward a little, hand lingering on Eva's thigh as she looked at them seriously. “She can't just lead you guys on like this. That is not how this works.” 

“Okay, but I mean, she made a good point,” Isak said with a sigh, “when she signed up, she figured she'd just get some old couple who wanted nothing to do with her. Maybe we're leading her on by not treating her as an older couple would. She gets to get connected with us, then we leave. And at least we get what we want out of the situation as a whole.” 

“Well, yeah, when you say it like that, she sounds like a martyr,” Eva said with a little eye roll and pulling Noora back by the waist. “You leave out a hell of a lot. Plus, isn't it better to know someone for a short period of time than not at all?” 

“We don't even know if we wouldn't want to stay in contact with her,” Even suddenly said, to Isak's surprise. He didn't know Even was thinking seriously about keeping their relationship with her, too. Isak had, but it felt messy, he didn't want to bring it up with Even. 

“You don't mean like the three of you being parents together, do you?” Eva asked, making a little face. “That sounds kind of unfair to her too. Unless Even..” 

“Let me stop you, please, before Isak blows a gasket,” Even said quickly, his hand trailing up Isak's back and giving the back of his neck a comforting little squeeze. “I just meant that we could stay friends. Our kids are going to have two Dads. They're going to know that they have a biological mother. They'll probably want to meet her one day. To wonder how much they got from her, and stuff like that, I mean. Not for a Mom. Because we _will_ be enough.”

“Even, we haven't talked about this, just us, why are we talking about it now?” Isak couldn't help but ask. Of course Noora and Eva would've been addressed if they needed help making the decision, anyway, but this didn't feel like the time. He'd much rather talk to him about it alone, first. 

“Sorry, I didn't think you'd mind,” Even said, biting his lip. 

“You guys can wait until we're done here, that's fine,” Noora said with a shrug. “I just think for now, you need to establish rules with Colette. Like, she can't freeze you out completely. You need more updates than just the doctor's appointments. You deserve a lot more than she's giving right now.” 

“You're really going to let her change the subject?” Eva huffed, obviously wanting to go back, but both Even and Isak kept their poker faces. “Fine, yeah, she's right. You need to talk to her and make some rules as soon as possible. She has way too much control right now.” 

~  
“You can't tell me you really haven't thought about it,” Even said slowly. They were curled up in bed with Even's projector on, shining constellations on the ceiling in the dark. They'd had sex before bed, but then neither of them was tired. They had been lying there in the dark, focusing on their breathing, the stars, and the other's heartbeat when Even had spoken up. It had broken Isak out of his trance. He was almost asleep. And he had no idea what he was talking about. He had to turn to look at him to make sure he wasn't just talking in his sleep. 

“Thought about what, Baby?” Isak obliged. Even was obviously wide awake, eyes wide and curious in the dark, and Isak wouldn't sleep if he couldn't. He turned completely now, looking at something so much more beautiful than the artificial stars on their ceiling. 

“Staying friends with Colette after the babies are born,” Even said, turning on his side and wrapping his arms around Isak. He pulled Isak a little bit closer and Isak put his hands on Even's chest. His pale skin was glowing in the low light and his eyes were dark and he looked so good it was stunning. He didn't know how he could still be stunned by the man he spent his entire life with, but he was, always. 

“Oh, no, of course I've thought about that,” Isak told him, running a hand through Even's hair thoughtfully. They should've talked about this earlier. They'd be reeling all night if this conversation went sour. “It's a big conversation, Baby. It's all really messy.” 

“I know it seems complicated, but does it really have to be?” Even asked quietly. His hands were absently roaming Isak’s back in circles. It was soothing. “I mean, things are different now. A family unit isn’t just a Mom and a Dad and whatever kids they have. And I’m not just saying some kids have two Dads and some have two Moms. Some kids are raised by aunts and uncles, some are raised by their own siblings. And some don’t even get someone to raise them. Nothing is “normal” anymore, anyway.”

“That is true, and I know she’ll be in a different country so maybe it won’t even be that big of a deal,” Isak said, biting his lip and thinking for a moment. “But what if she starts to feel motherly towards them? Or they want a mother out of her?” 

“I honestly don’t even know how she’d talk to them unless she learned Norwegian,” Even told him, indicating further how much he’d thought into this. “There’ll be a lot of barriers between them, including the distance. She’ll really mostly just be in our lives and not theirs, if you think about it.” 

“Maybe, Ev, I don’t know,” Isak sighed, bringing himself closer and tucking his head in Even’s neck now. It was late and this conversation could get tiring. Even was really certain this wasn’t a bad idea, but Isak had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was probably nerves, all of this was so adult, so grown up and it was the first major decision they were going to have to make for their children, what if it was the wrong one?

“It’s okay, Baby, just promise me you’ll really think about it, okay?” 

“Of course,” Isak breathed into his neck then moved to press his forehead to Even’s shoulder instead. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

 

_Monday Dec. 9_

Harper and Isak were eating lunch together that day at work. They didn’t always get lucky enough to have lunches together, but Isak was very happy for the opportunity. He needed a pep talk to ready him for the dinner he and Even planned with Colette that night. He was somewhat nervous of her, and somewhat of Even. The two of them weren’t exactly at an agreement when it came to what they were going to do with Colette after the babies were born and he really didn’t want Even blurting anything out that would solidify a plan that was not made. Even wouldn’t do it on purpose, but if he was panicking, he might. 

Harper was pretty certain that dinner would go off without a hitch, though. She thought that it was good that they’d gotten Colette to agree to a dinner at all, and Isak felt that, too. But Harper was more sure, perhaps because she was on the outside and couldn’t feel all that they were feeling. Isak supposed he was happy for the optimism. 

But he did want to talk about something else now. The subject sat on his tongue unsteadily, ready to jump out because his curiosity was rising as the days went on. Harper was saying nothing about Chase. Was that for the benefit of their friendship, or something else? He felt bad hoping that they were over, because he knew how she felt about him, but he knew she deserved so much better. 

“I’m officially starting to overthink it all, let’s talk about something else,” Isak said, rubbing his arm for a moment and looking away before deciding that he should just ask. It was going to eat at him if he didn’t. So, he put on a little smile and asked in the most neutral way possible, “So, how is Chase?”

“Oh,” Her face dropped and for a moment, so did Isak’s stomach. Maybe that was a terrible question, maybe he ruined everything in four words. “Chase is Chase, I suppose,” she cleared her throat, “we are actually spending some time apart. Time for me, time for him.” 

“Oh?” Isak said, needing more explanation. He didn’t want to jump, but he did, “Well, who’s idea was that?” 

“Mine,” Harper said, giving him a knowing smile, “But don’t look so pleased so quickly. You are right about this cheating habit of his, it’s not right. But, I get it on some levels. He and I have been together for a while and we’ve both always had specific dreams and here I am, doing what I’ve wanted to do and there he was...not. So I sent him away. Unfortunately it’s too cold to be backpacking through Europe right now, which was something he’s always wanted to do and Dubai we’d absolutely have to do together. But I was able to find really good deals for him to explore in Rio De Janeiro.” 

“You sent him on vacation?” Isak asked, puzzled thoroughly. “To Rio De Janeiro? Are you paying for it?” 

“He and I have had shared expenses for a long time, but yes, I guess technically, since I’m the one with the rich parents,” She shrugged and started throwing the food she wasn’t going to finish back into her paper bag that she’d brought for lunch. “He and I are on a break, and I’ve told him explicitly that he needs to get cheating out of his system. Hook up with as many girls as he needs to. But I think being gone, seeing some sights he’s always wanted to see, monuments, museums, those things he’s never had a chance to because he’s never had the money is really going to be good for him and for us.” 

“And what are you doing for you amidst all of this?” Isak asked, skeptical of the whole situation. It sounded nuts, maybe even like a bribe to get him to stay. 

“I get to do whatever I want, and we’re on a break, so I can hook up with other people if I want,” She told him, standing up and tossing her bag in the trash. “I’m also planning a trip for us to Dubai in exactly two years from Christmas Day, which I will surprise him with when he gets back in a couple weeks.” 

“Big plans for people who are currently sleeping around,” Isak said, not meaning to be as judgemental as he sounded. 

“Isak, I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again: Not everyone’s relationship is going to be like yours and Even’s. Different things work for different people,” Harper told him, coming back over to the table and leaning on it. The way she looked down at him was even slightly intimidating. “Chase and I have to take the long way around to get to where we need to be. But I believe in us. I believe we can get there.” 

“Okay, okay,” Isak said, looking at her and backing his chair up a little. “I’ve honestly never seen anyone so sure of anything, so I believe you.” 

“Chase really isn’t as bad as you think,” Harper said, sitting back down and sighing, “Remember when he and Even were getting along at first? It’s because they have things in common. Chase has a sweet side, too. You don’t even know the things he does for me.” 

“I was really excited when he and Even were getting along,” Isak said, thinking about how Even didn’t really have any _bros_ out there. He and Peter worked well, but they hadn’t seen him in a bit. Chuck might not be a bad choice but he would need to be able to pull him away from Dex to be able to get them to a proper _brospective_. “The only person he’s really connected to out here is Colette.” 

“And now we’ve officially come full circle,” Harper said with a laugh. “I’m just saying maybe you guys could give Chase another chance when he gets back. I’m telling you, we sat down and talked and you don’t even need to worry about protecting Colette because we talked about that too.” 

“Maybe we can do a double date when he gets back so I can see for myself,” Isak told her with a smile. It was definitely a nervous smile, but they had a few weeks before he even needed to worry about it. And if Chase was different, it’d be good for Even. Especially with Colette not wanting to hang out with them. 

“We’ll definitely make a plan, then,” Harper smiled brightly then looked at the time. “We have to be back soon and I’m going to hit the restroom. This was a great lunch though, I had fun.” 

~  
They decided to go downtown for dinner with Colette. They needed the neutral ground so that neither party would feel ambushed, as per the common rules of making an agreement. She promised to be there, because this was important to them, a real serious pre-parenting moment. So as Isak and Even waited for her, there was only a little ticking nerve that said maybe she wouldn't make it. 

But then, there she was, walking in through the door with a hand on her teeny tiny baby bump. She looked around for a moment and Even waved, so she smiled small and made her way over. She had her hair up, which was rare, and she was in jeans and a plain tee. Good thing they didn't pick a fancy restaurant. 

Isak's heart raced as she got closer. He squeezed Even's thigh and Even squeezed Isak's hand on his thigh. Both of them were definitely on edge, like this was some sort of date, meant to go wrong. But they were in it together, at least. 

“Hi guys,” Colette said quietly as she sat down at the table. Isak didn’t know at that point if he could feel his hand from all of Even’s squeezing. He hoped whatever she said next would bring him some sort of calm. No such luck. “Sorry I’m late. Traffic, you know.” 

“Not a problem,” Isak said, taking the lead and moving to wrap his arm around Even’s waist, instead so his hand could land on his belly for Isak to rub. Traffic, though, that’d probably be her permanent excuse. “We’re just glad you decided to come at all, really. It means a lot.” 

“Well, I knew this was coming,” Colette said, speaking solely to Isak for the moment, “You’re just neurotic enough to need rules, I figured it was only a matter of time. So I’m here, willing to abide by your rules.” 

“He’s not neurotic,” Even defended quickly. It shocked both of them, because usually the two of them could make a joke out of it and Isak would be fine—because, it was only a joke, after all. But that was before. Things were different and it wasn’t like Isak didn’t already know Even was on his side, but the reinforcement felt good. “I want the rules just as much. These are our babies, after all.” 

“It’s not like I don’t know that, I already told you guys, I don’t want them,” Colette said with a sigh, crossing her hands and giving them a look to tell them they hadn’t started off on a good note, apparently. 

“We know that, so of course we have to worry about their well-being,” Isak followed up, giving her a look of his own to tell her this wasn’t a fight she was going to win. Not if Isak had a say. He’d fight for Even and their future family until he had no more fight left. “So, rules. And we’re not talking anything crazy. We want to be fair.” 

“Because any of this is fair?” Colette said, though it came out more like a question. She was obviously hurting a lot, maybe even rethinking the situation, but she was stuck. And Isak almost felt bad for her, until Even spoke up. 

“You knew what you were signing up for,” Even said, repeating Eva’s words. “It’s all fair, honey.” 

He was right, so Isak pulled out his list for the agreement. He’d made a list because he didn’t want to forget anything. It was all basic and simple, though. Stuff like they needed more updates on the babies than just doctor visits. Even wanted her to take a picture of her bump every day until the end, since he couldn’t see the progress up close daily. And, that was on there though it was slightly negotiable. It was basically a contract for them. Isak almost thought about getting it notarized. 

 

_Wednesday, Dec. 11_

“It’s so hard to tell that Christmas is coming,” Isak said with a little pout as he stared out the window. He was sitting at the desk they had in their living room of the apartment, doing work for school. It was practically mid-December and it was sunny and bright outside. Sure, the temperature had dropped a little, and everyone from the area was acting like it was much colder than it was—a crisp 24  
C—but nothing besides the Christmas lights on some houses was really indicative of the season. “It makes it so difficult to get in the spirit.”

“We need to go to that street that Mallory and Colette were talking about,” Even said, getting up and walking just around the corner, where he fiddled with the thermostat. “The one with all the fancy, all done up decorations? Remember when they were talking about it? They called it a _Winter Wonderland._ ” 

“Maybe this weekend?” Isak asked, smiling at Even’s inflection of Winter Wonderland. He was still playing with the thermostat though, seeming to be pressing a button repeatedly. “What are you doing over there, Babe? We can’t afford to be messing with that too much.” 

“Just for tonight,” Even said, finally stopping then walking over to the windows, closing them. Isak heard the AC kick on. It certainly wasn’t needed, there was a nice breeze coming from outside and they had both been comfortable. “I’m going to make it super cold in here to make it feel a little more in-season. You should turn on the fireplace for me, I’m going to go get hot cocoa started and get some blankets.” 

Isak looked at his laptop for moment, then sighed and closed it shut. He had been working very steadily for three to four hours of work everyday so he supposed he could take a night off. Even was going to try to do something sweet, and even if he couldn’t exactly mimic winter at home, he was going to get them in the feel for it. Take away some of the pining for home. 

“All right,” Even said after a few minutes in the closet down the hallway. He had a few folded blankets in hand as he walked back over. He set them down on the couch then pushed the coffee table to the side. “Here, let me set this up.” 

“No, no, I’ll do it,” Isak said, getting up and playfully pushing him away. “After all, you do have hot chocolate to make. Or at least you said so, and now you have to because it sounds delicious and I need it in my life right now.”

“Of course, my spoiled little princess,” Even joked, moving quickly to take Isak’s head in his hands a giving him an even quicker kiss that made Isak want more. He followed him as he pulled away but then Even let his hands drop to Isak’s shoulders and spun him around. Isak basically felt whiplash as Even slapped him on the ass and then headed back out to the kitchen. “Use the throw pillows, too. To make it more comfortable.”

“Right,” Isak said, immediately regretting volunteering to make it since Even was the master fort-maker out of the two of them. He’d always made the best forts, even when they were kids. Isak probably could’ve managed the hot chocolate, but now he had to think strategically. He surveyed the space and tried to make it like Even might’ve. He lined the top and the upper sides with the throw pillows then started throwing blankets down. He hadn’t turned on the fireplace yet, and it was definitely starting to get chilly in there. The last blanket he threw down was the best one, a faux fur that was somehow lite and extremely comfortable and warm all at the same time. Plus it was a deep red and Isak always thought deep red was a little sexy. 

After Isak was done straightening everything and making it look pretty, Even still wasn’t done with the hot chocolate. So Isak flipped the switch to turn on the fireplace and then went down the wall to their room for the final touches. He grabbed Even’s projector, lube, and a few candles and set them up in the living room before turning off the lights and laying down on the blankets to test how comfortable they were. He decided it wasn’t that bad—there was no doubt Even would do better, but there would be no complaints about this. 

“Ohh, ambiance, very romantic, Baby,” Even said approvingly as he came back in the room with a mug in each hand. He slowly sat down beside Isak, giving him a cup and crossing his legs. Isak sat up, crossing his legs, too and sitting so close to him that their knees were almost pressed right into the other’s groin. Isak looked at the hot chocolate and was glad he chose to be the one to set up the blankets. Even had gone all out with cinnamon sticks, whipped cream, and tiny marshmallows on top and when Isak took a sip, it was the most perfectly thick and bittersweet hot chocolate Isak had ever tasted. Even must’ve perfected his recipe sometime between then and last Christmas. Maybe he had for Colette, who was drinking hot chocolate over coffee when they hung out. 

“Delicious,” Isak commented with a small smile, holding his mug with both hands and leaning in to peck him on the lips. “This wasn’t a bad idea. A little bit of winter right here just for us.” 

“Thank you,” Even said, leaning in and giving Isak a peck on the lips this time. He took a sip of his hot chocolate and then gave him a smile. “The projector and candles were a very good addition. Feels kind of like a date. Like a special date, a special night.” 

“Every night with you is special, my Love,” Isak told him gently, taking another sip of cocoa then gently caressing Even’s cheek. He was right, it did feel special, Isak felt especially warm inside. His heart was pounding and he knew he wanted him, he wanted him bad. “But you’re right. There’s a pounding in my ears—almost like the first time. Do you think you’re always going to make me feel so young and so giddy? So alive and full of life?” 

“Do you like feeling young, giddy, alive, and full of life?” Even asked with an eyebrow raise and Isak nodded mid-sip. “Then, I will do my best to always make you feel that way. I’ll do everything I possibly can. Like, a lot more than just turning down the temperature and making hot chocolate.” 

“How do you feel?” Isak asked, taking another sip then setting down the mug so he could reach out and put his hands over Even’s heart. It wasn’t beating fast or slow, just regular, but it was steady and filled Isak with even more of that warm feeling. That was the feeling of his Soulmate’s heartbeat, one that he swore made music with his own.

 

“I feel very happy,” Even said with a small smile, setting his cup to the side and reaching out to put his own hands over Isak’s heart. “I didn’t have to beg you to stop working, you just went with it. But, I also feel light, feathery, almost. You know, like I’m flying. I love you, so much.” 

They cuddled up and finished up their hot chocolate, staring up at the constellations from the projector and tingling from the warmth of the fire and each other’s soft touch. That’s exactly what the night was, soft, sweet, and slow. Isak wouldn’t have traded it for the world. 

“One of these days we need to get over to Griffith Observatory,” Isak told Even as he set his cup aside. His stomach was warm and and full and now all he really wanted was to get as close to Even as possible. So he set Even's cup aside, too, setting it beside Isak's on the coffee table behind them. Then he moved slowly into Even's lap, straddling him carefully. 

“I know, don't think I haven't thought about it, a lot,” Even said with a knowing smirk. He let his hand rest on Isak's ass and then trail up his back. It was slow and his fingertips were lightly tickling him as Even moved his hand up to the back of Isak's neck and into his hair. He grabbed a handful of Isak's hair and tugged gently, slowly tilting Isak's head back to kiss his neck. 

“I figured,” Isak managed to mumble, letting his eyes flutter shut while Even's lips found the most sensitive places on his neck. Places that when Even's lips touched, it sent electric jolts all the way down to his groin, almost like it was being shocked to life. “How do you just fucking know?” 

Isak moaned a little and then fumbled with his shirt, lifting it off to give Even all the canvas he wanted. The cold air made his nipples hard, just like they would in the winter. One of Isak’s hands went to the back of Even's hair where Isak did a little of his own tugging. His hair was so soft and smooth, it was so easy to give it a little tug, run his hands around and be find a new place to pull at all over again. His hair was going to end up being a complete mess. 

“I've spent far too long with you to not know,” Even said lowly, his voice a little raspy and practically dripping with sex. He was the embodiment of sexy, he should've been on posters, magazines, or how-to videos saying ‘this is what truly sexy is.’ Isak couldn't help but wrap his legs completely around Even's waist now, pressing their groins together in a purely torturous act that said 'it's on.’ 

Even read Isak's body language quick and easily, wrapping his arms around Isak and leaning him back. Isak's back pressed against the blankets and he could feel the heat from the fireplace warming up the top of his head while Even heated up the rest of his body. Isak relaxed and enjoyed it while Even kissed more of his neck and torso. He thought maybe he was melting into the blankets right there. 

He let Even do that, slow and steadily working his way down Isak's abdomen as Isak turned into a warm, gooey puddle underneath him. He was sure that there wasn't a millimeter of his torso that went unkissed before Even drew back and pulled off his own shirt and lay down right on top of him, so they were torso to torso. And that's when the real kissing began. 

Isak knew what kisses to expect before they even started. They reflected the mood like a slow, warm, roaring fire. Passionate, sexy and gradual; heating up until they were both on fire. It was a wonder they weren’t sweating profusely, but Isak did feel a little relief when they took off their pants. It was just a small breather, though, before the grinding began. 

And it was hot and just the right amount of sweaty as Even kissed back down Isak's torso and to his thighs. He kissed intensely inward until he was spreading Isak's cheeks. Isak didn't think he could ever pinpoint the exact feeling he got when Even’s mouth traveled that low. It was what he always wanted and never knew when he was closeted. It felt so forbidden yet so fucking right. It was exactly everything the heated moment needed as Even used his tongue, then his fingers to open Isak up. 

The delivery was slow, the stretching was so gradual Isak wouldn't have even known that was what it was. Plus, it felt so goddamn good. The small tension from the stretch was more of a tingle and Even’s tongue felt wild and free. Isak squirmed, his legs once wrapped tightly wrapped around Even's torso now loosening and instead beginning to spread. 

“Baby, I… I love you,” Isak managed as moans continuously escaped his mouth feeling the moment, the sweetness, the perfect ready-for-more pleasure. The thought of almost having Even as close as possible despite however many times he'd had that before. His hands that were tangled in Even’s hair started to tug him upward, to get his lips on his own again. 

“I love you, too,” Even said as he pulled back, his cheeks as flush as Isak's felt. He grabbed the lube Isak had set to the side from his trip to the bedroom and spread it over his dick and Isak's already stretched hole for good measure. Then he got back on top Isak so that they were lying chest to chest as Even pressed himself slowly into Isak. 

“Faen!” Isak couldn't help but moan out slow, but loudly. It felt even better after such a build up. After being so romanced by his sexy, sexy husband. It filled him slowly, feeling like he was touching every crevice of Isak in the moment, pulsing with gleeful passion. He surged his lips up to press back to Even’s.

“You are, so sexy…” Even mumbled against Isak's lips. His hands were heavy as they ran down Isak's arms then up from his thighs to his sides. It was the right kind of pressure as they roamed, relaxing Isak's body when he didn't even know it was in the least bit tense. Even did it until he officially couldn't be more relaxed or more content. His body was on a high that Even could only provide. 

Who needed drugs when their loved one could be on top of them, inside them and all around them at once? While their tongues were dancing and their bodies moved in perfect rhythm? Isak had no answers, which he was so thankful for Even for. 

His drug. His only addiction. The only fix he'd ever need. 

He wrapped his legs around Even's waist, tightening them as Even pressed deeper. They moaned out in unison, in harmony; absolutely perfect music. Their movements were slow, building them up in a way that Isak could only describe as perfect. 

Sometimes when moments were happening, and Isak was feeling this good, he'd think about how he'd always remember it. He'd do absolutely everything in his power to preserve the night in his memory. He'd focus on what he was seeing: Even's beauty, gleaming in the firelight. He'd focus on what he heard: there soft crackling of the fire, the whirring of the projector, his and Even's heartbeats beating in time and their moans harmonizing. And what he wanted to remember most was the way he felt, so he'd focus on that extra hard: he felt loved in every little nook and cranny in his body. He felt immense pleasure radiating in his groin, making his stomach feel flutter. He felt Even's body, his hands, his tongue. He could feel the lightly raised beauty marks on Even's back, the scar on his side from when he tried to jump a fence. The cracks in his lips and crease in tongue. All of it. 

Isak slowly scratched his nails down Even's back, moaning out his name as they rocked together. Even's thrusts were short and deep, moving just enough to stimulate the both of them, deep enough to tweak Isak's nerves just right. 

Usually he didn't know how long or short it was. But this was just long and beautiful. He enjoyed every movement, every position, every slow-dripping bead of sweat. When he finally was calling out Even's name in that peak moment of ecstacy, he was on his stomach, Even draped perfectly over top of him. He was kissing and biting all along the back of Isak's neck and left shoulder while Isak officially and completely turned into a puddle. Even came with him, as in sync as they possibly could be. 

Unashamedly, Isak was in tears as Even pulled out and helped him roll over just to drape himself back over top of Isak once again. They had sex all the time, hell, Isak could even be more accurate and say they _made love_ all the time. But, good god, sex like that… it just came out of nowhere and he didn't even know when to expect it next. 

It just made him the kind of happy that completely consumed him, leaking out his eyes because he just couldn't contain it. He felt so sorry for everyone who didn't have moments like this with someone. He didn't quite understand his luck, but he wouldn't question it, or his love for Even. Not ever. 

“I love you,” Even said softly, kissing the sides of Isak's eyes to catch the tears still leaking out. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” 

“I love _you_ ,” Isak told him catching his jaw and nuzzling his nose up so that their lips could brush. 

“Let's just stay here, sleep like this for the night,” Even said, gentle and raspy, sending prickles down Isak's spine. He really didn't want to protest at all. 

“We have to turn down the AC…” Isak managed weakly, already feeling that he could fall asleep here, now. “..it's still early yet, I think.” 

“Oh no, I'd say we made it perfectly to bed time,’ Even said, laughing a little, which was also a sound that made Isak's skin prickle. “And I'll take care of the AC, you stay here.” 

“Wait, we have to shower,” Isak sort of groaned, already feeling Even's body start to leave his. He didn't want that, no, Even had to stay, the electric bill be damned. He latched onto Even's arm, keeping him from going anywhere. 

“And yet I have a feeling we aren't moving,” Even said slyly, nuzzling his head into Isak's neck for a moment. “We can shower in the morning but I _have_ to turn the AC down, you know that. I'm gonna be just a sec. Here.” 

Even then got up without any warning. He moved swiftly grabbing a pillow and propping it up under Isak's head and sticking the other one next to Isak's side.It was all pretty comfortable. Isak could easily fall asleep. He was exhausted enough.

“Me, for like a second,” Even said, pointing to the pillow and then giving Isak a smile and a kiss before he was down the hall to change the thermostat. Of course it took longer than a second, because while he was away, he went into their bedroom, grabbing a few more pillows and their comforter. Then he had to blow out the candles and turn down the fireplace a few notches before he was finally tucking himself into Isak's side, replacing the pillow. Isak was almost asleep.

“Spoon me,” Isak whined tucking into him despite his own request. But Even didn't miss a beat, just moved himself to the other side of Isak and pulled him into his chest. Isak smirked sleepily to himself, fidgeting a little until they were in the best cuddle position they could manage there on the floor. “Tonight was perfect. A night for the books. Topping Fifty Shaaay…” 

 

_Friday, Dec. 13_

When Jonas answered is FaceTime call, he was blowing smoke into the camera, but the background was unfamiliar. Behind him was a baby blue wall, with an abstract, multicolored painting in a black frame to the left of his head. Isak figured he would’ve caught him at his apartment, getting ready to go out with some of the guys for a Fun Friday. Isak decided to call him on his lunch break to make sure to catch him before he was a drunk and sloppy mess. 

Isak and Jonas kept up most of the time. They texted a lot and made sure to touch base if major things were happening, but every now and then Isak just missed him. He wanted to see him with his goofy smile, scruffy beard, and poofy hair. Of course, he wasn’t always so furry, but Isak knew that since it was winter time that Jonas would be growing it all out. Which was all confirmed once the smoke cleared.

“Isak, what’s uuup?” Jonas asked, smiling excitedly and sitting up a little as he took another hit of whatever he was smoking. It was either a joint or a cigarette, but Isak couldn’t really tell. He was too happy to see his goofy smile to scold him if it were a cigarette, anyway. So he decided it was a joint, even if he wasn’t sure. 

“I’m on lunch at work, what’s up with you?” Isak asked back, fixing his hair a little and smiling, too. He just wanted to sit with Jonas, fluff up his hair, and smoke an actual joint with him. That was definitely something he missed. Though he and Jonas were drifting and spending less time together, there was still a night, maybe every other week, that they would sit and just chill. With Even or with Sonja or alone. Isak missed it with certainty. 

“I’m smoking at Sonja’s, she’s in the shower then we’re going to start drinking,” Jonas explained, then took a sip of a beer. “Okay, maybe I've started drinking without her, but the girl can take her sweet time, for sure.” 

“I'm so confused,” Isak admitted, looking at the wall behind Jonas and just pondering it all. “That doesn't look like Sonja's space. Plus, I thought you two were like, over, done.” 

“Her friend gave her some art that inspired a paint job,” Jonas explained and took another hit of his probable-joint. He hit it thoughtfully this time, doing a French inhale and then finally going on. “But uh, we tried being apart and we're not technically together. But we're still hooking up from time to time. We're mostly seeing other people in hopes of finding The One or whatever but.... It's really complicated and I know I swore to never be in an it's complicated relationship again but I can't stop it now.” 

“I have a friend here who's kind of in a relationship like that, too,” Isak said, thinking about Harper and Chase for a moment. “The difference being that you and Sonja are both sweet and the jury is still out on my friend’s beau. But I suppose it's a thing. I won't judge your 'it's complicated’ relationship status.” 

“I appreciate that, man,” Jonas said, still smiling goofy. “God man, you look good. Is that a tan?” 

“Well, I suppose I am getting a little bit more sun out here but I wouldn't even say I'm tan,” Isak said with an eye roll, feeling a little blush in his cheeks the way he always did when men complimented him. “But you look good, too. The winter coat is coming in nicely.” 

“Thank you, thank you,” Jonas said, petting his beard a little. He had just enough to grab a handful to try to cup into a cone. But it wasn't enough to actually make into any sort of cone. “Sonja would usually make me shave it right around this point but since we're complicated I get to do whatever the hell I want.” 

“I can't speak for women, but I know there are a lot of guys that would go for a man with a good beard,” Isak told him, thinking about when Even grew scruff. “Beard burn be damned. And, you, my friend, have a good beard.” 

“You are just full of compliments tonight, I love it,” Jonas laughed and licked his lips for a moment. “I wonder why that is. Obviously we have more appreciation because men know more personally how difficult it is to get this fine, full, beard…”

“You good?” Isak asked with an eyebrow raise as Jonas’ gaze fixated nervously behind the camera. 

“Sorry, I'm just wondering how much longer Sonja is going to be,” Jonas said, looking back at the camera for a moment then focusing quietly behind it for a few more moments. “Because I actually wanted to talk to you about something… I was probably just going to text it but..” 

“Alright, out with it, I'm here to listen, always,” Isak said, getting a little antsy because it wasn't often that Jonas was apprehensive. Also he loved it when people came to them with his problems. Perhaps he became a therapist because he was a little too invested in the drama of it all. Or maybe just partly, at the least. 

“Well, Sonja and I have always had this loose relationship, but we both knew what it was back then,” Jonas was looking so nervous. As long as the furniture wasn't moved with the paint job, then Isak was sure the bathroom door was right there, where Sonja was showering and would come out at any moment. “But when we talked, I knew and she knew that she needs something more. I'd like for her to have what she wants because I love her. But I can't settle down with her. I mean think of it? What have I been using our loose relationship for? To hook up with guys. Woman sometimes but mostly guys. And...I think maybe I'm afraid to give up that part of myself? What does your therapist mind think?” 

“I think a lot of things about that,” Isak said, shaking his head and digesting Jonas’ thoughts for a moment. “Mostly though, I need you to know that marrying a woman doesn't change your identity. It doesn't make you straight. You think that Even is gay because he married a man? Oh, I wish it did because then I'd have to only worry about one gender after that chiseled Adonis. But no, he's still pansexual. If you think you want to settle down with Sonja, don't worry about giving that part of yourself up. You'll see that you're still all you once you're living it.” 

“I just, I mean, yeah,” was all Jonas could say. 

“Do you think you can live without penis may be the real question,” Isak said with a dramatic, longing sigh. “I certainly couldn't.” 

“I mean, probably,” Jonas said, laughing a little at Isak, just what he wanted. “And everyone knows how much you love dick, Isak. You might as well rent an ad on the side of a bus for it.” 

“Just don't think of it as giving up part of your life, you're still you, okay?” Isak asked, giving an encouraging smile. 

“Okay.” 

“Good, now don't make any decisions right away, but think about it without that and maybe it'll be more clear. If not, I'm always here, Jonas,” Isak told him with a smile, looking at the time. “But if it's right now, you'll have to text. I have to get back, have fun tonight.” 

“You better have good Friday plans, too,” Jonas warned before they said their goodbyes. Isak felt a little burst of adrenaline from talking to him. He'd felt so distant from Jonas and now he felt his friendship stronger than ever. He was confiding in Isak and Isak absolutely loved that. Maybe distance made the heart grow fonder.

 

_Saturday, Dec. 14 ___

__It was a Saturday and they were moping around. They could be out, exploring this foreign country or with some friends, shopping, or even cuddling each other on the couch in hopes of relaxing after a long week at work. Instead, they were on opposite sides of the couch on their phones. Not too long ago, Even had had his legs outstretched and his feet in Isak’s lap. But now, he was basically in a ball. Isak didn’t know how a man with such long, gangly limbs could tuck himself in so closely, but he did this when he was upset._ _

__It should’ve looked awkward, Even’s knees to his shoulders, arms wrapped around so tight around his legs that his fingertips were on his inner thighs. His phone was on the couch beside him, playing some video in French so his chin was rested sideways on his knee while he stared at it. Isak was just scrolling through his social media accounts, but now he was fixated on Even. He looked so small and sort of like a lost puppy._ _

__They really shouldn’t have been spending their day this way. In their defense though, they’d originally had plans with Colette for the day. They were supposed to go hike to the Hollywood sign, finally. She said she used to do it all the time, she didn’t care that it was tourist-y, it was a beautiful sight once you got to the top—and she was specific that it had to be the _very_ top, behind the sign, apparently. _ _

__Now they were just pouting around._ _

__Isak let out a heavy sigh and set his phone down, crawling over to Even and sitting beside him. So close that he was probably squishing Even between himself and the armrest, but Even didn’t protest as Isak snaked an arm around his shoulders. Isak gave his neck a kiss or two, then his cheek, temple, and side of his forehead._ _

__“We probably shouldn’t do this all day,” Isak told him gently, grabbing Even’s phone and pausing the video. Even wasn’t a big fan of when Isak interrupted him mid-episode or podcast, vlog, whatever, but he didn’t protest. Strike upset, Even’s mood might’ve been plummeting further and maybe it had nothing to do with Colette anymore. Isak wouldn’t let that happen. “Let’s do something to take our minds off of She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. You know, I think Harper might want to hang out. And she knows some good spots, maybe she’ll know the perfect place for today.”_ _

__“What about Chase?” Even asked, eyebrow raised._ _

__“I told you, he’s out of the country,” Isak told him, finding Harper’s contact in Even’s phone instead of going back for his own. He pressed the dial button and put it to his ear, listening to the ring as he went on. “So, it’ll just be us three, unless you wanted to invite someone else.”_ _

__“I don’t know, maybe,” Even sighed, letting go of his legs so that his feet could fall to the floor. Isak took the opportunity to move into this lap while the phone rang in his ear._ _

__“Even? Is everything okay?” Was how Harper answered the phone. Panicked. It was fair, the two of them hadn’t talked since the last time she and Chase hung out with them. Why would he be calling if everything wasn’t okay? Oops._ _

__“Harper, it’s Isak, everything’s fine,” Isak said to calm her down, and then looked at Even. Everything would not be fine if Even hit one of his extreme moods. “Well, kind of. Even and I need a serious pick me up. You should see us, it’s so pathetic. It’s a Saturday and we’re in our pajamas, hair still messed up from morning sex, sitting around on our phones and being so completely quiet.”_ _

__“Say no more,” Harper said, “Give me thirty minutes, maybe an hour if traffic sucks. Ixnay the pj’s, get dressed. Nothing fancy, but nice. The sex hair sounds hot though, so you can keep that. Otherwise, put on some music, try to get yourselves in a better mood.”_ _

__“On it, thanks,” Isak said, smiling faintly as he hung up. Even was looking at him with the same puppy-dog eyes, but his eyebrows slightly, slightly raised in question. “She’s making plans for us, and she’s asked specifically for us to turn on some music. Happy music. Or at least better-mood music. And to get dressed.”_ _

__“We could put on some music, shower, and turn our morning-sex hair into shower-sex hair,” Even said with a little shrug, seeming to be ever-so-slightly happier in the moment. And if he was in for shower-sex, then Isak could lift his mood further._ _

__*  
Isak jumped whenever Even was feeling down. Even if Isak was feeling down, too. It was so good to have him, and Even couldn’t ever feel like he was thanking him enough for being in his life. Especially when he was moping like this. Over Colette. It was ridiculous, and it seemed like he was overreacting but he couldn’t stop. It was hard for him to explain to Isak the relationship he’d been forming with Colette, especially after his little bout of jealousy over him cooking her favorite meal. _ _

__It was just a friendship, but was it really simple as that? The short answer was, no. All his life, he had close guy friends. Closer guy friends than girl friends. He thought maybe when he came out and started seeing guys, girls would come flocking to ,needing the ‘gay best friend.’ Turns out if you like girls at all, you can’t be just friends with them. Or, in Even’s case, he couldn’t be good friends with them, couldn’t be _best_ friends with them. _ _

__Because _obviously_ it had to mean something. _ _

__But he really liked Colette. And thing was that he found his soulmate in Isak, so the liking, or maybe even what could be considered _pining_ at this point was all completely platonic. He knew that and he thought Colette knew that, but now he wasn’t sure. Was she like every other girl, thinking his closeness must mean he had some sort of crush on them? _ _

__Maybe because he liked her so much and because he was Pan, he somehow ruined it all._ _

__Which brought him back to Isak wanting to comfort him and make him happy because he was spiraling. He knew Isak could tell, which made it feel even more special. Isak knew him. Isak, the only reason he could go without another best friend, because he was the best friend Even could ever ask for._ _

__For the record, Even loved his guy friends. But over the years with everyone growing apart, he mostly just had Yousef, who was great but always preoccupied. And that wasn’t all his friend’s faults, Even wasn’t the best at keeping in contact because he was so consumed with Isak. Even didn’t even really know that he needed a good friend until Colette started hanging around._ _

__He totally could go back to it just being Isak. Isak was perfect, inviting over Harper to make some plans for them on a day where they were already supposed to have plans with the girl who broke up with them. The shower sex, walking around the apartment half naked until Harper told them she was there. When she did, Isak gave him a sweet, private kiss just for them before inviting her in._ _

__“Hello-o boys,” She practically sang as waltzed through the door clutching reusable grocery bags to her chest. She had quite a bit of things in them. He thought they were going somewhere, but she should have just kept the supplies in the car if that were the case. “I cannot wait to tell you my plans. I’ve already texted Dexter, Chuck, Taylor, Peter, and Mallory. Dexter and Chuck will honestly probably be on their way any minute, Taylor and Peter have said maybes but I’m sure I can get them, and nothing from Mallory yet. Do you know, is there a max occupancy for your apartment?”_ _

__“Uh, well I wouldn’t want more than probably fifteen, maybe twenty people in here,” Isak said with a little shrug. Even looked at him incredulously, not believing that he was just going with all of this. Twenty people in their apartment sounded nuts._ _

__“Okay, I’ll invite twenty-five, assuming that hopefully only five can’t make it,” Harper said and then made a face, “Wait, is it okay if you’re like three over your max if they’re _Tasty ‘Tenders_?” _ _

__“ _Tasty ‘Tenders_?” Isak asked as Even leaned up against the counter. This was a conversation for them. He couldn’t even process twenty people. He hoped it’d be at least twenty including them. He hoped more than just five people couldn’t make it last minute on a Saturday. _ _

__“They’re these hot bartenders, basically,” Harper said. Even just closed his eyes and listened. “They’re sexy and wear little-to-no clothing. I hired two guys and one girl since more of the core people are going to be into guys. They’ll be here in like two hours, so we’ll have to spend some time setting up.”_ _

__Okay, mostly-naked, sexy bartenders of two genders might not be so bad. He didn’t spend a lot of time looking at other people unless they accidentally caught his eye. A little extra eye candy definitely wasn’t a terrible pick-me-up. Maybe Isak was right. Maybe she was a good choice to call._ _

__“Even, are you okay?” Isak asked suddenly._ _

__“Hmm, yeah,” Even said, shaking his head and opening up his eyes. “Sorry. Twenty people sounds like a lot right now. I’m all for the bartenders, but, I already feel like this place is so small…”_ _

__“Okay, how about this: I start with fifteen, including us, right,” Harper began looking at her phone for a second then setting it down and observing the space. “Once we set up the place and have a few extra people in here, I ask you how you’re feeling. If you don’t think you could handle more people, then fifteen’s the cap. If you think you can, then we’ll invite about five more.”_ _

__“That sounds okay,” Even nodded, smiling a little. Before he wondered how she could be a therapist, she seemed so unstable, but now he was understanding. She knew what she was doing. “Let’s do that. How do you want to set up the place?”_ _

__“Well, we need more room, mostly for the bar,” She said, looking at the table where she had set down her groceries. “The good news for that is that this is the perfect space. Even better would be if this table fit down at the end of the hallway. That way we can block both bedrooms just in case people get frisky. I think it’ll fit and we can either stack the chairs on top, or find somewhere to put them for more seating. What do you guys think?”_ _

__After awhile of discussing the furniture and it’s positions for the most value, Chuck and Dex showed up and changed their minds all over again. It’s also when Harper remembered she brought her projector._ _

__“You didn’t need to bring that, I already have one,” Even said, and then got his._ _

__“Well it’s even more perfect that we have two,” Harper said cheerfully. Then they started arranging furniture again. By the time they were down, the dinner table was in the hallway, kitchen chairs were moved to the living room and all the furniture in the living room was up against walls. The Hollywood Sign was behind where the coffee table had been moved to and a picture of the view from behind the sign was projected on the wall opposite, behind the sofa. They put up a bunch of twinkly lights up and down the other two walls in the room. It actually looked pretty cool for a last minute party. He was glad Isak suggested the Hollywood Sign projection. It was the right theme for them for the day._ _

__“Okay, so far we have confirmation from literally everyone I asked besides Mallory, who said she can’t make it,” Harper shrugged. “So we’ll see if this place feels small with seventeen...then decide if we need to invite more. But we’ll make sure everyone knows not to invite anyone else without express permission from you guys.”_ _

__“What if we just hire more _Tasty ‘Tenders_?” Dex said, wiggling his eyebrows. He was acting just a little but more like his pre-Chuck self that evening. But they were still cutesy, stealing looks and kisses when they could. But it was cool, he hated when people changed for their significant others. He supposed he was just lucky he always knew Isak, though, no changing needed. “I’ve been such a saint, I could use some lookers.”_ _

__“And if I catch you touching, I will literally cut your fingers off, try me,” Chuck fought playfully, grabbing his hand and squeezing each finger where it met his hand._ _

__Once the party was in full swing, all seventeen people, the room felt less crowded than Even expected. Maybe he was more at ease with the tanned up gods and goddess bartenders and Isak plastered to his side, half drunk and even flirting with the hot bartenders with him, but it was fun. He was having fun._ _

__“Hey there, sexy.” Isak said to the bartender they hadn’t flirted with yet this time, reaching out and almost touching his chest. A little ghost touch. He probably only felt the air that his finger pushed out of the way. “My husband and I would love to watch you shake or stir up some drinks, your choice.” He winked at him. Even loved to watch him flirt. He was so hot. He didn’t care what that said about him._ _

__“Anything in particular for the sexy gentlemen?” The bartender asked, laughing a little at Isak. Even couldn’t tell if either of the guy bartenders were gay, but they were flirting with everyone, so at least they were good at their jobs._ _

__“I want something with a kick,” Isak said, shimmying around the bar and dusting his finger across The Bartender’s back as he walked behind him before standing beside him and giving Even a little wink. So Even took the signal and walked around to the other side of The Bartender, looking at Isak and not being able to help but smile._ _

__“Oh yes, something _spicy_ ,” Even cooed, reached down to dust his own fingers over his abs. It was all so forbidden, but Isak was there, egging him on. Hell, the music was egging him on. It was some song he never heard about touching. Also, this guys abs were out of this world. He was a little shorter than Isak, with tanned skin and and light brown hair. He had muscles everywhere, not too much so that it looked overwhelming, but what could only be described as the perfect amount. And while he loved Isak’s body, and thought his husband was always number one with one out of this world looks in his eyes, these bartenders, they were definitely high up on that list. _ _

__“I think I’ve got the perfect drink in mind,” The bartender said as Isak dusted his finger against the man’s side. There were rules with the bartenders, they were allowed to touch literally everywhere but their junk. But no hitting of any sorts, not even playful swatts on the ass. But touching was perfectly fun, anyway. It was a little thrilling to feel a body that wasn’t Isak’s. The differences in their bodies was crazy, and Even should’ve preferred the sexy Bartender’s over Isak’s but as he touched different places, he realized parts of Isak he immediately missed. Where his nipples were placed, a couple up slightly raised moles on his ribs, his smooth, smooth skin. Things like that_ _

__They were having fun, though, watching him make the drinks, checking to see if The Bartender was being at all disturbed by it, but he was unphased. While he was pouring the drinks, Even had an idea, so he laced his fingers through Isak’s behind the bartenders back then slid their palms down his back. Isak met his eyes and knew exactly what they were doing. Right as he finished pouring the second drink they moved their hands right to his ass and moved forward, leaning in front of him and giving each other a nice slow and sweet kiss in front of his face._ _

__It was honestly a lot of fun. Isak’s lips and The Bartender’s smooth laugh in his ear. It was good. He was smiling when they pulled away, both of them taking their drinks._ _

__“So what is this called?” Isak asked, inspecting it for a moment._ _

__“It’s a Pineapple Chilli Margarita,” He said with a smile as they slid ones into his speedo for a little tip. “Pineapples always give spice the perfect kick. Plus, Patron doesn’t ever not have a kick. I hope you guys enjoy.”_ _

__They took sips and stepped away, thanking him multiple times as they walked towards the living room. When they were just inside the doorway, Taylor almost knocked them right over. Her phone was glued to her ear and she looked extremely worried and scared as she looked up at them, apologizing a few times and then really registering it was them._ _

__“Even, Isak, I-I, I have Mallory on the phone,” She said quickly, worriedly. “We have to get to the hospital. Now. Something’s wrong with Colette. It could be Baby-related. I’m sorry, come on, we have to go. Mallory sent her cousin to pick us up. He’ll be outside in like, five minutes.”_ _

__Even’s heart immediately dropped to his stomach and everything else moved fast. He didn’t know what else to do besides get to the hospital. He may not have control over anything happening, but he could get there and get all the straight answers and deal with them. But mostly, he just kept telling himself the babies were fine, they had to be. There was no reason for them not to be. Colette was only allowed to be a surrogate because he reproductive system was so healthy._ _

__So obviously it was something else, right? He needed the answers fast._ _

__He and Isak stayed close, their sides practically morphing together at this point. They were both terrified, hearts thudding out of their chests, but neither one of them were admitting it or really even saying anything out loud. They just held each other close. Kept comfort in the other’s touch. It felt like the best thing to do and Isak did have that slightly calming effect, even in times of crisis. Or especially in times of crisis._ _

__When they finally got to the hospital, they burst through the doors and found the waiting room where Mallory said she was as quickly as they could. When they got there, she jumped up from a chair in there, relief splashed across her eyes._ _

__“Thank God you’re here, they won’t let me see her, they won’t tell me anything,” Mallory sobbed, grabbing onto Taylor as soon as she was in her reach and pulling her into a hug. Taylor looked like she was holding her up and Mallory looked so helpless. Even didn’t think she cared about the babies that much, it was probably just Colette she was worried about._ _

__Even didn’t care to wait around and see, he quickly stomped away, taking Isak with him to the receptionist desk to ask where Colette was and what was up. Even told them their relation to Colette before they could even ask if they were family. He wasn’t playing games, he was getting in there and figuring what was up. He didn’t have time to care about Mallory being sad over having to bring Colette there._ _

__“Down the hallway, third door on the right,” The receptionist told them straight away. Whether it was the look on their faces or Even’s firmness, he didn’t know, but she responded without hesitance._ _

__“Thank you,” Even said, pulling Isak down the hall to find the third door on the right. He counted them agonizingly. It felt like they were yards and yards apart from each other. They couldn’t get there fast enough and it even felt like Isak’s strides didn’t even match up even though they were only just centimeters shorter than his._ _

__“There you are,” Colette almost cried as they strode into the room. Her eyes were already puffy, nose red, it looked like she’d been crying. Which only made Even’s heart sink more; it must’ve been in his feet at that point. “Thank God, you’re here.”_ _

__“Colette, what...what happened?” Even stammered as they saddled up to her bed._ _

__“I started bleeding, and I had this pain,” Colette said slowly, and everything inside Even was just aching. Aching to know what this meant. “It’s over now, but I don’t know. They didn’t want to tell me anything without you guys. I’m not the actual parent, afterall.”_ _

__“Did they say anything at all?” Isak asked, swallowing hard._ _

__“They were saying a lot of things when I first came in but they think it’s possible that,” Colette was trying so hard to choke out words without crying. It was bad. Even could just fucking tell before she said it, his heart was sunken somewhere deep in the ground and he just had to wait for her to be able to say it. Her eyes watered before she went on, choking and stuttering. “..That one of the babies is go-on-ne. I-I-I’m so sorry.”_ _

__“Hey, hey, listen, we don’t know anything for certain yet,” Isak jumped immediately, grabbing Even’s waist and Colette’s hand, wanting to be a support though he was probably freaking out just as much. “And nothing is anyone’s fault. Let’s just see what the Doctor says...”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliff hanger!!1 hopefully I can get the next chapter up soon. Thank you so much for reading if you're still there. As always, comments and Kudos fuel me. Thank you, Thank you.


	14. Little Do You Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to pick up that cliffhanger...

_Saturday, Dec. 14_

As soon as Taylor said the dreaded words that ruined his whole buzz, ruined the whole spirit of the night, Isak knew that he had to be strong. Even’s emotions were already all over the place, and if something really was wrong—with the babies or even just Colette—Isak needed to figure out how to get them through it. He’d hold Even up, be any sort of crutch he needed. Honestly Isak didn’t know how he was so sober after all the alcohol he’d started the night with and he kind of wished he was still at least a little drunk so that he could use that drunk confidence to handle all of this. That kind of confidence that would tell him he _could_ do this without crumbling.

It felt weird that he was already so upset with no confirmation because they didn’t even want twins to begin with. Yet, the thought of losing one completely crushed Isak’s heart as if his ribs were closing in on it. On top of that crushing sadness, Isak didn’t understand what was going on. The nurses couldn’t tell Colette _anything?_ How could they not tell Colette what was going on in _her body_? What kind of hospital was this and where were all the fucking Doctors? So, Isak was about to jump out of his skin with ange, too. 

“Isak, ow,” Colette said, shaking the hand he was holding and looking up at him. Honestly he couldn’t remember which of the last of them spoke. Or even if they had been talking at all. He’d just gotten stuck in his own thoughts. He didn’t even know for how long but it felt like a long time. He let go of her hand quickly. 

“Sorry, I..” Isak looked at her, feeling a little nervous in front of her after about two weeks of her being distant. “I just don’t understand. Where are the doctors and why won’t they tell you anything? Do they not realize this is your body and that obviously we’d want to know as soon as we got here, anyway? And if they’re not around to tell us, then you should have been able to!”

“I know,” Colette said, shaking her head, but her eyes wide. As if she hadn’t seen Isak go off before. Or maybe she was just afraid now that they had some distance, just like he kind of was. “But...I don’t know...the nurse was weird about our...situation and then...I don’t know. I was just really scared and so I just let myself wait. I knew you wouldn’t be long…” 

“This is all fucking ridiculous,” Isak said, feeling his ears getting red hot from the anger, “I’m going to go find someone.” 

“Isak,” Even said as Isak began to walk away, grabbing his wrist and stopping him. His voice was light and sweet and almost angered Isak more in the moment. “Baby, you’re too angry to talk to them right now. Stay here, take deep breaths so you can actually hear what the Doctor is saying when _I_ find one.” 

Isak looked at his face and he could see the stress in it. The crease between his eyebrows, the way his subtle smile didn’t reach his eyes. But he was trying, and Isak needed to try to. If Even was being so calm, he could too. Just deep breaths. He took one for show and then Even’s smile touched his eyes for the briefest moment before he gave Isak a small kiss on the lips. Isak breathed him in right before he pulled back, taking a touch of home before Even was on his way out of the room. 

“I’ve been trying to do the deep breath thing, too,” Colette said, wiping her eyes for the zillionth time and then resting her hand on her belly. “I find it only works minutes at a time. So as long as they don’t take more than a few minutes..” 

“Even won’t let them take long,” Isak said confidently, still staring at the door where he had disappeared to the left. He loved putting his faith in Even and letting him carry Isak in times of crisis. Isak had just thought he himself was prepared to be the crutch this time and he failed. God, he was the worst husband, wasn’t he? Always making Even be the strong one. “Of course, you know Even.” 

He felt awkward. It felt like those minutes were already ticking on. He was having a hard time keeping eye contact with her. He imagined if he had any legitimate exes that this would be the exact feeling of being locked in a room with them. This was probably something people who didn’t meet their soulmate before they even had memories felt on a regular basis. 

“It’s just me, Isak,” Colette said quietly. She was a small person, but she didn’t look small in the hospital bed the way normal people did. She still looked strong and confident, even with her puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Her voice was quiet though, thin as if she were walking on eggshells, and that made Isak feel a little better. Part of her may have felt in the wrong for everything that had happened those past couple weeks. She took her own deep breath and scooted to one side of the bed. “Sit with me, breathe with me.” 

Isak first sat sideways on the bed with his feet on the ground. He looked down at his shoes—knock-off Nikes that he’d bought really cheap at an outlet store—and felt the tension in that had been released from his feet when he got off them. He didn’t even realize he had so much tension in them until then. He took a deep breath and then turned more toward Colette, pulling a leg up on the bed and then slowly putting his hand on her stomach. God, it was still so early in the pregnancy. But he thought they were past the scary stages. He’d read things online before about how sometimes, with twins, one baby will abort itself to save the other baby—he probably should’ve fact-checked everything—but that this would be less likely later on in the pregnancy, just as the case would be for the chances of miscarriages in the first trimester. 

“I’m so sorry you guys have been waiting to hear the results for these tests,” the Doctor said immediately as he came in, smiling casually as if this happens all the time. Something goes wrong with someone’s unborn child and nobody wants to say what it is, yeah, totally casual day in the office. “I'm Dr. Stevenson, I do a lot of specialization in prenatal care and I'm here to say that you needn't be sitting in here worrying. I've reviewed everything and both babies and Bio-Mom here are totally healthy.” 

Even and Isak both sighed in relief at the same time Colette said “What? That's impossible! I-I felt… And the nurse said…” 

“Like I said, I'm really sorry you've been sitting here in worry, but I do have an explanation for you,” Dr. Stevenson said slowly, looking back over the charts as if he had to recall. “When you came in, you were asked some questions and you did recount to the nurse that you had sex somewhere around thirty minutes before the bleeding. Not only that but that it's been awhile for you. And if all that is correct…” 

“...It is,” Colette blushed, being the one who couldn't make eye contact now but instead stared down at her hands.

“Mhm, well, during pregnancy, the cervix makes a lot more blood than usual and sometimes when there's cervical changes, it can cause some of that extra blood to come out—and I must admit, this doesn't happen often this late in the game, which is why we did the tests,” he did a little more going through the charts, “and you're healthy. And so are both babies.” 

“But there was a lot of blood, and it hurt,” Colette said, shaking her head in disbelief. Like she was sure he had to be lying. “There must be more tests. Like maybe they're both there but now one is like calcium or iron deficient or something?” 

“I assure you, all their levels are beautiful,” Dr. Stevenson said with a nod. “We've exhausted all of our resources here. But if you'd like to make an appointment with your obstetrician for a double check, they can confirm everything for you.” 

“Send the records over to her, we'll have her look at them before the appointment we have in a couple days,” Isak said, looking at Colette and Even for approval before going on. “And Even and I were not here for tests or anything. So, we're actually not going to leave until you do another ultrasound and show us two heartbeats.” 

“You know ultrasounds cost…” 

“Uh-uh, no, free of charge,” Isak said firmly, feeling some of that anger flare up again. Not too much but enough to make sure he wouldn’t back down. “Or seriously I'm going to go to president of the hospital and tell them what terrible care we got today because _your_ nurse isn't okay with our perfectly normal situation. All you have to do is put a little goo on her stomach and turn on a machine.” 

“Alright, fine, we'll do that,” Dr. Stevenson conceded, making Isak feel pretty good about himself. This was a bigger hospital, a fancier hospital. He knew nurses didn't make enough but he also knew that they made enough to provide at least a decent bedside manner in a place like this. Dr. Stevenson stood and nodded nervously. “An ultrasound, on the house. I'll just go get all of that prepared and have reception send those records over the OB-GYN on file.” 

 

 _Sunday, Dec. 15_

Going back to the party the night before—because, yes it was still going on due to the fact that the _Tasty ‘Tenders_ were paid through one a.m.—was the last thing they had wanted to do after the scare. So, they texted Harper, begging her not to trash the place too badly and then grabbed a nearby hotel room for the night. There, they turned on the TV and kissed and cuddled until they fell asleep shortly after. 

They didn’t want to get up that morning for several reasons, but check-out time forced them to untangle their bodies and get ready to head home. They were expecting the worst when they got back to their place. Not because they didn’t trust Harper not to trash the place, but they had no idea what went on while they were gone. There was booze and a lot of people in their twenties and the only real difference between parties when they were older and parties when they were teens was that more people knew how to handle themselves. But the all same shit just went on, regardless. 

“I am honestly ordering new bed sheets as we speak because I just do not trust that no one was in our room last night,” Isak said, searching a same-day shipping list on his phone. He grabbed one set of silk, another set of just a regular cotton-blend for when they inevitably ruined the silk. 

“Get something red, we never have red sheets and red is so sexy,” Even said, waggling his eyebrows as he turned the key in the lock to their apartment. He turned the door slowly and Isak pressed the one-click buy button in his cart and then held his hand, expecting the worst—that whatever lay behind the door was probably going to lose them their security deposit. 

“They’re red _and_ silky,” Isak said, squeezing his hand as Even led him into a surprisingly clean apartment. Now, it wasn’t one hundred percent; their were still solo cups and napkins spread around. A couple of loose pong balls here, a couple random shoes in different places. But it was nothing. Maybe that was one more difference between teen parties and parties in their twenties; they were slightly more cleanly. 

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry I was going to clean before you guys came home,” Harper said, walking into the kitchen as they closed the door. She looked disheveled and sleepy. He hair was up in a bun, messed and slept on, and her eyeliner was smudged and more shading her eyes now. “I didn’t realize I slept so late… On the couch! Nobody slept in any bedrooms. Just me, Dex and Chuck crashed in the living room.” 

“Harper, you’re fine,” Isak said, letting go of Even’s hand and giving her a hug. He didn’t know why, he just wanted to hug her. She hugged back, almost falling into him—she was probably pretty hungover. She certainly looked it. “Are they still here?” 

“Yeah, they’re past out on the floor out there,” Harper said as they both pulled back from the hug. She scrunched her nose a little. “I’m pretty sure they had sex there. While I was on the couch.” 

“You should’ve just taken the guest room,” Even said with a little laugh, shaking his head and taking her by the shoulders. He led her to a chair that was still pushed off against a wall and sat her down. “Let me make some coffee and then Isak and I can move the table back. Then once we’re done with some coffee and maybe some toast, we can all do a little cleaning.” 

“God, you guys were the ones who had to go to the hospital last night while I threw a party at your apartment and you’re going to treat me to coffee and breakfast?” Harper asked, shaking her head in disbelief before grabbing it as if deciding that motion were too much. “Everyone must fall in love with you all the time. By the way, I’m so glad it was just a scare. I promise I didn’t party at all until you guys said all was fine.” 

“What a relief,” Isak said with joking sarcasm, rolling his eyes and grabbing a few solo cups and stacking them together. “We’re glad too.” 

“And Colette, how was she?” Harper asked tentatively, kind of like the way Isak brought up Chase. 

“Different,” Isak said with a little nod, thinking about the little moment they had alone in the hospital room. When she was helping him calm down. But then still leaving them in an awkward state, saying she’d see them at their next appointment. “When we thought something was wrong, she apologized a lot. And she helped me when I was getting mad but I feel like she went back to cold by the time we were leaving.” 

“Well, the situation was tense and stressful, maybe she just wasn’t sure how to act,” Harper shrugged a little, trying to insert a little optimism. 

“I was thinking that maybe we should talk to her again at our appointment,” Even said to Isak as he measured out the coffee. He was obviously vibing with Harper’s optimism. “About the whole situation. I mean, you’re right, she did seem different. And I don’t even think she was that cold when she left. Just unsure. Maybe from the stress.”

“Maybe,” Isak said, nodding slowly and leaning against the counter. He decided he wanted to change the subject, less they get their hopes up too high. He rolled his head slowly and looked at Even with a little smile. “You know, before last night, I didn’t even realize how in love I am with this idea of twins. I don’t want to lose one, I want both.” 

“Me too,” Even said slowly, pressing the button on the coffee maker and then walking over to Isak, he took his waist and looked down at him, talking a little lower. “I even felt a little guilty for being on the edge about it to begin with. Like maybe it was…” 

“Don’t say it,” Harper said, cutting him off because apparently with as low as he was talking, she could still hear. “You don’t want to put any amount of blame on yourselves. Especially since everyone’s good.” 

“They are,” Isak said, giving Harper a look then looking back at Even. “But I get it, me too. It feels like it took too long for us to realize that we’re comfortable and excited with the idea. But we’re here now and we have plenty more time to fall even more madly in love with them.” 

 

_Tuesday, Dec 17._

“I’ll be in the area for an hour or so, so just shoot me a text if you need a ride home,” Harper told Isak as she dropped him off for the next baby appointment with Dr. Carter. Once again, it was scheduled a little too close to when Isak got out of work and he was running late. Or almost directly on time, but Harper was a lifesaver. He was glad that their relationship had been mended, and not only because she gave him rides places. 

“Got it, but if you want to go home and you haven’t heard from me, just go,” Isak said, not wanting her to wait around the area just because she wanted to give him a ride home. “Even and I can manage. And thanks.” 

“No problem,” She said with a smile before driving off. 

Isak jogged inside, not wanting to be later than the four minutes he already was. He was pretty sure if he managed under five minutes late without even leaving work early, that’d be some kind of record for him. Even would be proud. And Isak would be happy to see him proud, even over something so silly, so small, so out of his control. But he supposed Even did a lot of lame things that impressed Isak all the time. Obviously, it was the little things. 

He was excited to see him after his long day at work. Not unlike normal. But he wouldn’t be able to jump him and shower him with kisses and cuddles until after the appointment. Which somehow made him more excited to see him. Except when he walked through the door, he stopped in his tracks. Confused at the sight. 

It wouldn’t have been unnatural a couple of weeks ago but now it felt like some kind of betrayal. Even and Colette sitting close on a loveseat in the waiting area, his arm around her while she whispered something in his his ear. He was smiling so wide but he seemed to have sensed Isak’s presence, his eyes looking up and smile faltering just slightly. Apparently he wasn’t as excited to see Isak as Isak was to see him. 

Ouch. 

He whispered something to Colette and then got up and walked over to Isak, smiling wider now and giving him a kiss on the corner of his mouth, “Hey Baby, pretty damn good timing. I was actually just saying to Colette that we should tell you a time before our actual appointment to get you here on time.” 

“Funny…” Isak managed to say, his millions of thoughts about the situation hitting him head-on. Maybe Colette hated Isak. Maybe Even and Colette were friends the whole time. Maybe there was something wrong with Isak; maybe he was too neurotic, like she had said. Maybe Colette liked Even more than a friend. Maybe she could make Even not like his neuroses either. Maybe forgoing the gestational surgery was the worst mistake of Isak’s life because now this beautiful girl who everyone absolutely adored was stealing his man right out from under him. “What is—”

“Bech Næsheim,” The Tiny Nurse from the previous appointment said as she walked through the door, stopping Isak from being able to ask what was going on so that his brain could just stop already. And it seriously needed to, Even wasn’t going anywhere, he was being ridiculous. So he didn’t hold him up, just wrapped his arm tight around Even’s side and followed him through the door. 

*  
He knew that Isak was disturbed by something. He sensed it as soon as he looked at him in the waiting room. He guessed it could’ve been that he was confused about Even and Colette being close and friendly, but he wasn’t exactly sure that made sense. Afterall, it was good news, not bad news that Colette was finally moving forward from things, that maybe now they could have an open conversation about her role after the babies were born. 

Even wasn’t exactly sure what was going on in that mind of his, but he’d hold him—the way Isak hinted he wanted by squeezing him so tight while they walked down the hallway—until Isak wanted to talk about it. Or until it passed if he didn’t want to talk about it. All he knew was that very soon they were going to learn the sex of their babies. To gain that much more knowledge about the people they’d be bringing into the world—even if they ended up identifying differently, it still felt so big. 

Even had one hand in Colette’s and his other arm wrapped tight around Isak as they stared at the screen. He thought that it’d be painfully obvious if a fetus was growing appendages like a penis, but he was wrong. He couldn’t tell by looking at the images at all. He could always make out the head and the vague image of the body as he stared, but no extremities. So he just had to wait for Dr. Carter to tell them. 

“So, one last time, everyone wants to know the sex of the babies, right?” She asked, pulling up two images on the multiple screens after everyone consented for the millionth time. The image on the left said Baby 1, the other said Baby A. “So, obviously as you can tell from these pictures, they are the same sex. So, firstly since they do share a placenta, they are identical. Does anyone have any guesses as to whether they’re boys or girls?”

“Well, I think,” Isak said, squinting at the images one last time for good measure. “That they’re probably girls. I feel like I would see if…” 

“I was thinking the same thing,” Even said with a little laugh, kissing the side of Isak’s head. He looked up at Dr. Carter, feeling little prickles of tears in his eyes as his heart somehow grew larger with the emotion of it. Isak probably couldn’t squeeze him harder if he tried. “Are they girls?” 

“They are, congratulations.”  
*

 _Wednesday, Dec. 18_

After their appointment, Even said he wanted to cook them a celebratory dinner. A dinner that would’ve happened despite the outcome of the sex of the babies because Dr. Carter also confirmed that everything was okay with them, too. But the thing was that without any word, Colette was accompanying them, driving them home. Spending the night in their guest room as if it hadn’t been two weeks since anything like this had last happened. 

Isak didn’t spend much of that time with them, though. He couldn’t. Dinner was fine and it seemed like even with Isak, things might’ve been swinging back into some sort of normal with Colette, but he had too much work to do. He’d sent all of his progress on all of his schoolwork to Markus via email on Monday. And Markus had gotten back to him late Tuesday to tell him that he thought Isak may be falling behind. That he was glad that things were going well at his residency and there was zero problems there, but his schoolwork was lacking. If Markus was worried, so was Isak. 

He hadn’t had any time to really talk to Even about that, either. He couldn’t even do his work in the living room the night before because Even and Colette were being too loud watching whatever show they were watching. He could barely even tune them out with earbuds, so he had to move to his and Even’s room, where he sat in bed and kept falling asleep and waking up to do more work. He didn’t know what time it was when Even finally joined him, but it was during one of the periods of sleep Isak kept falling into. Because the next time Isak woke, his laptop was closed and it had been set on his bedside table and Even was curled up into his side. Isak curled up into him and tried to sleep too, but he couldn’t, only for periods at a time. 

So the next day he was exhausted and full of questions and worry and he hadn’t even wanted to go into work, but he did. And he sat at lunch and complained to Harper as she ate and he basically lay his entire torso on the table, giving her just enough room to eat. He needed more sleep, he needed more time to do his schoolwork, which he thought he was giving enough time to—sure he could get distracted and some nights skipped it altogether, but for the most part, he felt on top of it. He needed to figure out what was going on with Colette and he needed to find more time with Even and he needed the time for his work. There wasn’t enough time.

“Maybe it’s just because it’s the holidays,” Harper suggested, “Some people get jolly but some people get really stressed. There’s shopping and pressure to make it the best time of year. That on top of everything that’s been going on lately… You’re going to take control of this, Isak.”

“Okay, well, Resident Therapist Harper, give me a jumping off point,” Isak said with a sigh, opening his eyes and looking at her.

“I’d say squash the Colette drama, it’s the easiest and will be the fastest,” Harper said with a shrug. “Sit both of them down and say, ‘hey, I need an explanation because it feels like I have literal whiplash.’” 

“I hate being jealous of her, he and I have already talked about it but,” Isak sighed, gathering his thoughts and closing his eyes again. Too many thoughts. “But, I think I’m also jealous of her being his friend and not mine? I mean, I know she doesn’t like me. She called me neurotic. And not in a cute way.” 

“Are you saying there’s a cute way to call someone neurotic?” 

“Well, I imagine if Even called me neurotic, he’d make it sound like it was a cute thing,” Isak said with a little shrug. “I’m probably jealous of the friend thing because it means they can get close without me. That’s how people fall in love, right? I mean, I’ve only done it once and that’s kind of how it worked. Lots of time alone. Some even forbidden time alone and like, it doesn’t get more forbidden than an affair, right? I mean, right? Right? I’m a mess.” 

“Which is why you need to settle this first,” Harper said, making him open his eyes again because of the certainty in her voice. “Once you clear your mind of this, Even and school are both going to come so easily. No pun originally intended with Even coming easily but now that I’m thinking about it...yeah, I’m sure you make that pretty easily for him.” 

“More like he makes it easy for me,” Isak sighed, not even sure if they were the only two in the room but not even caring. 

“Oh, please,” Harper rolled her eyes and then dropped her fork onto her plate and ran her hand through his hair. “You’re seriously hot, Isak. The literal hottest guy I’ve ever looked at in person. And that includes Even. Like, I’d totally choose you over him.” 

“Oh my god, don’t you say that ever again he is a literal God,” Isak said, smiling because it did feel good to hear that he was attractive from someone who wasn’t Even. “Besides. You haven’t seen his dick. That thing is a work of art.” 

*  
Even finally felt back on track. The babies were healthy, they knew the sex, Isak was working so hard to finish school that it felt like he might finish early, and Colette was his friend again. As far as life went, he had to say this was pretty ideal. He could even say he was blessed. Happy. Things were just right. 

Colette had picked him up from work that day and now they were sitting on the couch watching Casablanca. She was always a little skeptical when he picked classics, and he’d tried out this one with her and her friend group before, but now she was finally giving it a chance. Isak was really the only one who ever gave his movie suggestions a chance—and he’d seen all the classics with him a million times—he thought it was time to recruit someone else to deal with his obviously-superior movie taste. 

He was sitting on the middle seat on the couch and she took up space on her favorite cushion—which, thank God was opposite Isak’s—on the left end of the couch. He had his arms sprawled out over the back of the couch and his feet up on the coffee table and she sat with her feet off to the side opposite Even, leaning into him while they watched the movie. Her head moved on and off his shoulder and sometimes her hand rested on his outer thigh. 

Even couldn’t help but think how much more perfect it would be if Isak were on his other side. To have him cuddled up next to him so Even could wrap an arm around him and give him little kisses as he pleased. Yes, he decided it’d make his evening perfect and complete and he hoped that when Isak came home, he didn’t jump into schoolwork and joined them instead. 

Before when the three of them hung out, Even always thought of it as their first family moments. She was carrying their babies after all. But now that she was starting to show for real and they knew the sex of the babies, it felt even more like what could be considered family moments. Moments before the little fetuses would remember, but they could still bond, watch the movie, talk to her stomach about it so that hopefully they gained his taste in cinema. 

He was about to send Isak a text to tell him that was exactly what he wanted them to do when he got home, but he heard their door open and close right before he could finish typing up the text. Colette straightened up a little at the sound, as if she didn’t know Isak would be home soon and they were caught in some terrible act. Even didn’t necessarily like _that_ , and it made his heart sink a little, hoping he wasn’t being naive in their relationship. 

And, apparently, Isak’s heart had been sinking over it, too because he didn’t enter the room with a “hello, Baby,” and a kiss. Instead he was a little out of breath and flushed, as if he ran all the way to the apartment to tell them something important. Or maybe something he was afraid he’d lose the courage to say if he didn’t do it fast. 

It seemed to be the latter. 

“Okay, whatever it is, I need to know what’s going on between you two, now,” He basically said in one breath, motioning to the two of them on the couch and then running his fingers through his hair. He barely even breathed, let alone let them say anything in response before he went on, mostly speaking to Colette. “I mean, am I that terrible? Too neurotic to be your friend? Have you guys been friends the entire time? I mean. You, did...are..are you falling for my husband?” His hand was over his stomach, as if he was going to throw up. As if the entire thought made his stomach lurch—just like it did Even. 

Even wanted to get up and hug him and tell him that it didn’t matter if she did, but that wasn’t what this was about. It was about Colette and whatever she felt towards them. And if it was anything, maybe it needed to be out in the air, anyway. Even just looked at Colette and paused the TV, not wanting it to make Isak feel like he didn’t have a stage. 

“Isak, I am so sorry,” Was the first thing out of Colette’s mouth, making Isak gape, wide eyed. Even tried not to react at all, but when she looked at Even, he eyes widened too, quickly explaining herself. “No, no, I mean, I’m not sorry because I’m trying to steal you. No, Isak. I’m sorry I’m making you feel like this.” 

“Oh, I uh…” 

“No wait, Ev, can you move over a sec?” She looked at him pleadingly and he looked up at Isak, giving him a shrug and moving over to the far right of the couch. She smiled and then pat the spot where he was, looking at Isak. “Sit, would you? I just want to explain why I’m being so weird. Please.” 

Isak hesitated for a moment and then set down his bag and joined them on the couch. He smelled like a hospital but Even was grateful for it, and for him being near. He knew it was their moment or whatever, but he was happy to share it and hold him through it. 

“Isak, I just felt like I crossed a line with you, you know? Like I fucked up,” Colette said, shaking her head. Even watched her, wondering why she hadn’t said anything about this, yet. He didn’t even know that there was tension between the two of them. Apparently, he was being oblivious lately—was he missing anything else? 

“Like when you called me neurotic?” 

“Yeah, Isak, I don’t know why I chose you to take everything out on,” Colette sighed, closing her eyes and looking away. “I was feeling a lot of emotions and I push people away when I can’t handle them. That’s what I was doing to you guys. But, obviously it was the wrong choice. Even was right, I signed up for this. I can’t be mad if things don’t end up where I want.” 

“Well, I’m willing to bend a little if what you want isn’t my husband,” Isak said slowly, turning to Even and looking at him for a moment. The words surprised Even just a little. Not the husband part, because duh, but the part about him willing to bend—and not in bed because again, duh. Last he knew, Isak wasn’t so sure on the subject of Colette postpartum. Even couldn’t help but give him a smile, he was the literal Best Husband in the World and he’d be sure to make sure he got his trophy later. 

“What do you mean by _bend_?” She asked, obviously not being able to read Isak like Even could. 

“I mean, we should stay in contact after the babies are born,” Isak said, nodding with certainty. “I mean, obviously we’re going back to Norway, but we can keep in touch, you can visit, maybe we can even visit when the twins are old enough to travel. I will draw a line somewhere though, hence the bending… And I’m sorry if this sounds blunt or rude but I don’t know how else to say it, but the line is that Even and I are their parents. You can be their cool Aunt or their friend, whatever, but you’ll have to learn Norwegian. That’ll be their first language and you seriously just cannot cross that parental line. Even if one day one of them comes to you and says something. You pick up the phone and you tell us immediately.” 

“I mean, o-of course,” Colette said, only faltering a little, which was really impressive when Isak got like that. Confident and ready for a fight and positively parental. Even loved it. He’d definitely be getting that trophy.  
*

_Friday, Dec. 19_

**~Colette~**

_are you on lunch? 12:03_

_yeah, why? 12:04_

_I’m outside 12:04_

Isak stared at his phone and then apologized to Harper before excusing himself to see why Colette was showing up to his place of work. He thought that it could be an emergency if she was there midday— because, shouldn’t she have been at work? So, he packed up his things and rushed outside to find her out on a bench. She had a brown paper bag in hand and fidgeted nervously with it in her hand as Isak approached. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked quickly, sitting down and putting a hand on her shoulder. She looked distraught, possibly like she had been crying. Had another mood swing hit? Maybe she was here on some sort of mood swing low, ready to swing at him again. 

“Well, yeah,” She said, shaking her head and running her fingers through her hair as she held out the paper bag to Isak and said, “And no.” 

Isak raised an eyebrow and took the bag. Written on it in black penmanship was _tilgi meg_ , which she probably had looked up through Google translate. It was sweet that she was still apologizing, but Isak didn’t care what was inside the bag, he wanted to know what was wrong with her. Why yeah and no. 

“It’s a big rainbow cookie with birthday cake frosting, critically acclaimed as an amazing treat for the LGBT community and I thought maybe if I sweetened you up, I could tell you this with as little backlash as possible…” 

“Okay…” Isak said, getting a little nervous tingle in his gut. He looked inside the bag, taking a piece of the cookie and biting it for show. Or maybe for a little distraction. It was delicious sugar cookie and tasted perfectly like a birthday cake. He held out the bag and offered her some. “Well, my best friend and I always chat over food, but we’ve both gotta be eating.”

“Okay, good, I was smelling on the way over and man, it smelled good,” She said with nervous laugh, grabbing a piece and taking a bite. She swallowed it and took a deep breath before finally moving forward with the big reveal. Her eyes began to prickle with tears again. “I wanted to apologize for real and profusely. Because I lied so bad yesterday and then you were literally so nice. I thought I was lying for everyone’s benefit but I feel guilty as hell.” 

“Lying about what?” Isak asked densely, hoping it was anything but what he was thinking. Anywhere but the nightmare where his mind first jumped. 

“About my feelings for Even, and a little for you, too,” She wiped her eyes and cleared her throat, looking down at the remaining piece of the cookie in her hand. “I know that I took it out on you more because I resented you more. I thought you wanted to keep me away because you were suspecting how I was starting to feel for Even. At first, I loved you both equally and platonically, but then Even just grew on me. And no one ever grows on me so I was just like, wow. God, I know what a nightmare this sounds like to you, I do.” 

“It sounds like the woman who might be carrying my husband’s biological babies might also be falling in love with him.” Isak said, which definitely was his nightmare. He was trying to remain calm though, because she was apologizing...that had to mean a corner was turned. He hoped.

“I mean, I like him, a lot,” Colette said, nodding a little and reaching out. She rested her hand on Isak’s wrist and it was everything in him not to recoil. He just wanted her to finish so he could handle everything like an adult. “But it’s nothing. It’s going to pass. I need you to know that. I need you to know that I am not going to act on this. Know those two things: it’ll pass and there will be no acting on it because it’s nothing. And, Isak, forgive me. Please.” 

“Okay,” Isak said slowly, blinking down at the bag for moment and taking a deep breath to calm his thoughts. He felt a little threatened by her, for sure. It was a nightmare just like she said. “I forgive you. I don’t really trust you all that much right now, but I forgive you. The thing is, though, you need to tell Even. Not because I’m cruel but because he needs to know why I get jealous and because you need to hear from him that it is never going to happen. It’ll help you get over it.” 

He knew it sounded harsh and he was doing that with her a lot lately but he couldn’t help it it all. He needed to be straightforward and he was too stressed to deal with any bullshit. It was the holidays, for crying out loud, he needed a little goddamn peace. He knew that if she told Even, Even would be real with her. Maybe she didn’t realize that yet, though, because she sat there quietly, as if thinking through Isak’s words. He couldn’t help but wonder if she was actually thinking she had it in her to steal Even from him. 

“..Do you ever think about giving Even what he can’t get from you?” She finally asked, a little quiet, a little unsure, but definitely not a great question. So Isak played a little dumb. 

“Well, despite the fact that I do not have a uterus, we are having babies,” Isak said, raising an eyebrow and hoping that enough to stop her from asking what she was going to ask. 

“No, I mean, I know he’s into girl parts,” She said, somehow being ignorant even though she herself claimed to be some form of queer. “We comment on girls in movies together all the time and I mean, it seems obvious that he could use a vagina. Or maybe at least boobs, you know?” 

“Oh, God, no, he’s just fine right where he is,” Isak said, making a little face and sitting back now. He had to think about how he could explain this to her exactly right. “I mean, for one thing, Colette, I tried to give him that before. We had a foursome with our two friends. A guy and a girl. It was a disaster that basically just turned into two couples drunk-fucking in the same room. The next day when I told Even why I went through with it—for him and this idea that just because he’s not only into guys and needs that stuff—he told me I was being ridiculous. He told me that I was all he ever needed and more, Colette. He was just as grossed out being with her or anyone else as I was. We both decided nothing like that would ever happen again.” 

“Okay, but—” 

“I’m actually not done, you see,” Isak said, biting his lip and feeling a little scandalous as he spoke now. “The other thing is that Even isn’t like some straight guy who fell in love with a guy because he can shove his dick in my ass. A lot of people like to look at that as the dynamic here, that I’m the girl because I like guys and only guys, and he’s the guy because he likes females too. What people don’t tend to think about, Colette, is how much he likes my dick. Or the fact that I’m not the only one who takes it up the ass in this relationship. And, I know that this seems like this was me getting off topic, but it was me saying that he is absolutely, one hundred percent satisfied without being opposite someone with a vagina and boobs. I don’t even have to ask him to know that, but if you want to when you tell him your secret, I’m sure you’ll see I’m right.” 

“Okay, you’re right, I knew it was a long shot, anyway,” She conceded, closing her eyes and finally eating the bit of cookie in her hand. Her face was completely flushed, which was how Isak felt. He didn’t really go into talking about dicks and asses or dicks _in_ asses very often, so neither of them really expected him to say it, but it was out and Colette could be embarrassed if it helped her understand. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay...but..if you could tell him before I get home today, that would be the for the best, I’m not good at keeping secrets from him and I wouldn’t want to out you.” He smiled small and reached out, putting a hand on hers. He wasn’t feeling great about her, but he wanted to be an adult here and she was owning up to what was going on so it felt like a good gesture to tell her that everything was going to be okay. Even if it wasn’t in the moment. “And I know Even, and trust me, he’s going to be okay too. He wouldn’t for a second want to hurt you.”

*  
“You know you’re absolutely gorgeous, right? I mean, look at you,” Even said, not even being able to help but pull Colette completely into his lap and wrapping his arms around her. She rested her head on his chest, sighing. “Someone is going to fall head over heels for you. I’m sorry it’s not me but I swear, it’ll be someone better.” 

“But you’re literally the nicest person, ever,” She sobbed, and it was obvious that she had a lot of emotions in that moment, which worried Even just a little. He probably shouldn’t have pulled her so close. He should’ve known to keep the distance right now, he could be so stupid. She lifted her head moving it up to his shoulder, breathing on his neck. “You actually make me feel gorgeous when you say it. Kind of like Mallory does.”

“Colette..” Even said, now moving out from underneath her because he couldn’t handle where her breath was hitting. It felt too intimate in the moment, twisting his stomach. 

“I mean, how ridiculous is it that I like the two most unavailable people on this planet?” Tears were streaming out her eyes again and that was difficult for Even. There was something about seeing her like this that made him want to hold her, cradle her like a baby, rock her. Which, sounded like some sick perversion, but when she was hurting he felt like the babies might be too, and he wanted to stop that. “I am the worst person, ever.” 

“You are not the worst,” Even sighed and shook his head. He kept some distance but took her hand. “You’re a romantic which can definitely get you into trouble, I won’t lie, but when you do find your someone, it’s going to make it more amazing than you can even imagine. Besides, you’re barely even yourself right now, it’s probably baby hormones that’s making you into me, you know, which is at least half my fault. I am going to keep my eyes peeled for the perfect person. Not a Peter, since obviously that’s not working. I’ll try not to be so charming in the meantime, though.” 

“And how are you going to do that? It’s who you are.” 

“Hmmm,” Even said, smirking a little. “I could start farting around you. I think I’ve got one in the back pocket right now.” 

“Even, ew,” Colette said, laughing and shaking her head, “But me too, you know. Babies and bladders and controlling your farts. It’s a thing.”  
*

_Saturday, Dec. 20_

Isak loved sleeping in on Saturdays, but on this particular Saturday, he was still buzzing from Even from the night before. He was hyper-aware of him, so really, he was barely sleeping. He was more like relaxing on his smell and the warmth of his hand draped across Isak’s stomach. He was to Isak’s left, turned on his side and cuddled into him all morning long. Isak was on his back, tilted slightly into him, his bicep tucked underneath his neck, arm bent at the elbow so his hand could rest on Even’s shoulder. 

He wasn’t there for the conversation Even and Colette had had the day before, but when Isak got home, Even made it clear that it was settled. It’s like he sensed him coming through the door, meeting him just as he got inside their apartment and literally sweeping him off his feet. He picked Isak up, setting him on the counter and just kissed him deeply and meaningfully for a moment or twelve. When he pulled back, he looked Isak in the eyes and said, “She told me everything and I just want you to know that it’s settled. I told her what’s what. That you’re my soulmate and _nothing_ will ever happen between me and her, okay?” 

His face was so worried and so genuine, and his kisses were like fire on his lips, there was so much urgency for Isak to believe him. And, of course he did. He knew he was jealous, but he trusted Even with his whole heart. Colette was still there, though, so the kisses there on the counter didn’t turn into anything but there were a lot more that followed. They invited over more friends and watched movies so the making out would be a little less awkward but she still stayed the night. 

So she was still there that morning, in the guest room, sharing a wall. That meant that as soon as Even’s eyes opened, he was getting ready to jump out of bed, make everyone breakfast, start the day. But, Isak had other plans. Though his own eyes were closed and he was half-asleep, he was still that hyper-aware. His arm tightened immediately, he swung his leg around him and he threw himself into Even’s chest. 

“Whoa,” Even chuckled lightly, his voice still a little raspy with sleep, his laugh doused in sex. It turned Isak on immediately, his body buzzing for him. Breakfast and starting the day could wait. “Oh, well, _good morning_ to you, too.” 

“Don’t leave…” He purred, playing the card that he knew he had, even if it wasn’t exactly fair. “We have so much less sex with Colette around…” 

“Mmm, is that what this is?” Even asked rolling them and looking down at Isak. “Is there anything I can do to make all of this easier for you?” 

“Nei, m’fine,” Isak said, shaking his head and looking up at him, feeling a twinge bad that he played the card at all. He wrapped his arms up around Even’s neck and looked into his eyes. “Let’s just have sex and you can yell out my name…” 

Even raised his eyebrows for a moment while a smirk slowly crawled onto his lips. He leaned down and swiped the tip of his tongue up the center of Isak’s lips, ran a hand through his hair and pulled back. Isak followed him up but then, suddenly, Even was flipping them, fitting himself perfectly beneath Isak as Isak adjusted himself on top, raising his own eyebrows at Even now. 

“Well, you’re going to have to _make me_ ,” Even told him seductively, twitching his eyebrows and gliding a hand down Isak’s chest. The good news was that they were already completely naked, no undressing required. The really good news was that Isak was sure he could make him. He knew what Even liked, and since he spent more time on bottom, he felt like he knew what felt best. Almost like he had a secret weapon in bed. 

“Challenge accepted, Baby,” Isak smirked, diving down and kissing him hard. The kisses were kind of like the night before, heated, deep, and genuine, but behind closed doors they were more wild. Growing more and more wild by the moment. Isak held Even’s face in his hands and Even’s hands rushed all over Isak’s back. Isak lunged his tongue into Even’s mouth, diving as deeply as he could, exploring it as if he didn’t already know every depth of it. Tasting it as if he never had before.

When he was playing with Even’s earlobes and he felt the slight moan echo into his mouth, he knew he could move forward, so he started kissing down his jaw to his neck. He licked his lips and delivered the wettest kisses down the side of his neck and then biting his shoulder three times in a row before moving to the other side to do the same. 

It was hard to explain, but his skin tasted like sleep. It was still it's normal combo of salty and sweet, but it was slightly stale and yet slightly softer. “...if I were a cannibal, you'd be in some serious trouble.” 

“You could only eat me if I didn't eat you first,” Even combatted, nice and slow. He was taking advantage of his bottom position, relaxing as Isak took his own advantage, but letting us hands roam slowly, slowly, slowly around Isak's back, giving him shivers down his spine. 

“No, no, in this scenario, only one of us is a cannibal,” Isak said, booping Even's nose and then going back to his neck. “and it's me.”

He bit down on his neck a little harder now, sinking his teeth for a few extra moments before slowly sucking the skin there. Even's responses were under his breath but absolutely mesmerizing. God, Isak always remembered why he defaulted to bottom when he was on top. Keeping his composure and not melting into a puddle around Even was hard to do. Especially when he looked like That and sounded like That and fucked like _That_. 

Isak kissed down Even's chest, biting his left peck twice. Then once more on each hip bone and multiple times between his thighs. Even seemed to love it, letting out little squeaks of pleasure while his hands did some serious tugging on Isak’s hair, making his scalp feel loose. Isak hoisted Even's legs up over each of his shoulders and looked up at him. He knew he was smirking devilishly but he couldn't help it. 

“Wait, bite me one more time,” Even said, running his hand down Isak's face and letting his finger trace his lips. “But only once, because that'll make it twenty-one.” 

Isak couldn't help but laugh a little because, of course Even had been counting. He happily bit down on his inner thigh again, sinking his teeth deep one more time. Even let out a little yelp and Isak thought about how his pretty, sensitive, pale skin would bruise from all the biting. And Isak could kiss him better for days. 

They’d gotten better with leaving marks on each other in more discreet places—besides the one he just left on Even’s neck—so that bosses, coworkers, patients, and someday their children wouldn’t have to look at them and think about all the sex they were having. It was actually a little bit better this way. He used to love having hickeys on Even’s neck for display, but now he liked them hidden, almost forbidden. He even liked to find the perfect places where they were just out of sight, where maybe the slightest slip of Even’s shirt would reveal them to the world. 

He liked how they were just for him but that they still had that emergency to them. 

Once he was done sucking on Even’s skin, his mouth watered for what was next. He could’ve got a lot of ways from there, but he decided to spread Even’s cheeks and lick around his hole for a moment. Even reached over to the nightstand and gave him the lube, his breath hitching, his knees bending tighter over Isak’s shoulders so that his bottom half was completely lifted off the mattress, Isak helping him hold it up. 

Isak swirled his tongue around his hole, prodding at it just a little while his hands worked with opening the lube and putting a generous amount on his fingers. Even’s hips rocked in the air, meeting his tongue as he pressed further, further. He was breathing deeply now, and if Isak looked up, he knew he’d find his face totally relaxed, eyes closed and arms stretched out at his sides as his hips kept this gentle motion. 

So Isak spent a little time there with his tongue, making sure Even was getting everything he wanted. He’d want more eventually, but Isak would do this until he couldn’t feel his jaw anymore, just as long as it was what Even wanted. But as soon as Isak started walking a lubed finger up the side of Even’s leg, Even moaned in anticipation, meaning that he was definitely ready for more. 

And Isak was having a hard time hearing all the moans and staying serene enough to keep the foreplay going. He would’ve literally jumped inside Even if he could’ve. 

He kept his cool, though, moving Even to lay back down fully and spreading his legs just enough. He let his fingers find Even’s hole before he started licking around the tip of his dick. There was already precum there and Isak was entranced by it, bringing him back to his cannibal comment. He couldn’t help but sink his mouth down completely, wanting to taste him fully and immediately. His fingers still worked slow but his mouth was fast and eager. 

He and Even moaned in unison now and Even’s eyes were wide open, watching Isak, who was watching him through his lashes. He always loved the view up Even’s body. It was a long, smooth landscape with little beauty marks here and there until the sharp peaks of his collarbones, dipping at his neck and turning into a perfectly sculpted mountain with his jaw and his chin. His lips were puffy, cheeks red, eyes so dazed, pupils dilated and dark, and so damn turned on. His hair was starting to stick to his forehead and the cannibal in Isak wanted to lick the sweat that was making it stick. 

Isak slowed his pace to take it all in for a moment, slowly popping off as he added a third finger into Even. Even’s mouth made an ‘o’ while his body relaxed into the stretch. 

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Isak groaned, pumping his fingers a little faster now, knowing where to find Even’s sweet spot but only letting his fingers graze it, keeping him wanting more. He licked his lips and slowly moved himself back over top of Even, hitting his sweet spot directly just once before removing his fingers. “Ready to feel good?” 

“Yes,” Even nodded, eager and breathlessly. Isak couldn’t help but smile, lathering lube on his dick and guiding it to Even’s hole so he could push inside. Even surged up, kissing him on the lips, his tongue diving into Isak’s throat as he let out a low, low, moan into Isak’s mouth. Isak couldn’t help but moan back, suddenly remembering all the tension he had been neglecting for himself. 

Isak always did that when he was on top. He only remembered pleasuring Even until they were at the point where Isak was finally inside him. Then he felt an instant release of butterflies up into the bottom of his stomach as Even enclosed, tight and warm, around him. Once he bottomed out, he collapsed on top of Even for a moment, enjoying the sensation as he and Even’s hearts slammed against each other’s chests. 

Even their mouths were paused, tongues pressed together, Isak’s top lip in Even’s mouth while Even’s bottom lip rested right on top of Isak’s bottom set of teeth. Their breathing through their noses was even labored as the two of them basked in the closeness. 

It was really only a moment or two but it felt like forever—in a really good way. But then when finally he was moving his hips, he forgot why because, fuck, that felt _amazing._ He started slow, still kissing Even and letting the two of them do a little building up before he did anything with determination. Besides, of course, running his hand between them to take Even’s dick in it. 

“Fuck, oh, fuck,” Even moaned, tilting his head back as Isak started to rub him in time with his hips. Isak pulled back now because he’d much rather get a view of that outstretched neck, shiny pecks, and glossy eyes. Even was feeling so good, which only made Isak feel better. It basically doubled the high that the sex already brought, filling his brain with a beautiful noxious gas of Even, Even. Even. 

Even moaned and moaned, but still not Isak’s name, and though Isak was on his high, he wanted Even moaning his name for a very specific reason. So, he needed to get him to that place. So he pumped his hand over Even’s dick once more before taking both of his hips so he could start to move his own with more determination. Isak knew what to do. 

He slowly pulled back, almost pulling out of Even completely then slammed back in, hitting his little bundle of nerves in full force. Even moaned out again, louder now, so Isak did it again, and again, and again until his pace was speeding up and he was slamming into Even in what felt like hyperspeed. He himself felt great, like he could literally be flying over the moon at that very moment...and Even. 

“Oh, _faen, Isak!_ ” Even moaned out, only making Isak feel even better. He kept up, feeling them both build as Isak’s name fell out of Even’s mouth over and over. Until both of them were coming. 

“Perfect,” Isak sighed happily as he collapsed next to Even, resting his arm over his chest and turning his head to look at him. He was totally and completely satisfied, had zero worries in that moment. Pushing back the stressor of school completely for the morning. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” Even said happily, turning on his side and pulling Isak into him. “Now I guess we should probably shower before I make breakfast for everyone.” 

“Well, that would be the most sanitary thing to do…” 

 

 _Monday, Dec. 22_  
*  
Even was going to tell his boss about his stalker, but he hadn’t seen her around since that day she showed up to their apartment. So it seemed like it was pretty safe to just let it all go. He turned Ghost Mode on on Snapchat and deleted her for extra measure. But he did kind of feel like he needed to know if she was okay. He’d think about her every now and then, go down to where the interns hung out and scan the room, just to see if maybe she was still somewhere around. 

But if she was, she was out of sight. 

It bugged him that he didn’t know if she was okay, just because it felt like she’d been reaching out to him. It almost felt like she connected with him on some level and, honestly, if stalking someone you barely know to their apartment _wasn’t_ manic, then he just didn’t know manic anymore. 

He was thinking about it a little more during the Holidays. They used to be really difficult for him when he couldn’t get himself in check and were still feeling a little rocky. With everything going on with Colette, he wasn’t really sure he even had complete control of himself, so if Kate truly was having some sort of mental issues, maybe she was going through it and going through it bad.

So he decided to pay Benji a visit during lunch. Benji was in charge of the interns and they reported to him directly. Usually if the interns were working on something, whoever they were working for would send Benji a message or email, giving him a short description for their records. He was a pretty cool guy, but he took his work pretty seriously, which was why Even never actually brought anything up to him about Kate. As much as she might have deserved a little repercussion, Even wouldn’t have wanted to be the reason she lost her internship. 

“Ev, hey brother!” Benji said, hopping out of his seat as Even stepped through the door to his office. He was a good deal shorter than Even, but a great deal stronger with his dark, dark skin basically rippling with muscle. He kind of reminded Even of a young Taye Diggs with his shiny head, perfect smile, and shadow of a beard. He wasn’t intimidating because of the muscle, he was intimidating because he was beautiful. “Can I help you with something? Please don’t tell me we’re having intern trouble…” 

“Oh, no, no. Well…” Even tried to think it over. He wanted to ask about Kate but he didn’t want to elude to there being trouble. Not if he didn’t know yet. “No, I just was wondering about a specific intern. Kate Swan?” He hoped that wasn’t just her snapchat handle, but her first and last name, “I haven’t seen her around in awhile.” 

“Kate Swan, Kate Swan, Kate..Oh, yes,” Benji said as he shifted through papers, pulling on out and setting it on top. “Kate is actually currently out on a private medical leave. Should be back after the holidays. Is there a specific reason why you’re asking? Even, you do know relations—” 

“No, no, no, I’m married, remember?” Even said, holding up his left hand and pointing to the ring on his finger. He shook his head a little and made up the first excuse that came to mind, “I just let her borrow a personal hard drive for a project she was working on. I didn’t realize it’d be this long until I got it back. I was starting to think she took it and ran.” 

“Oh, shoot. Well that was really kind of you,” Benji said, tapping his fingers on the table thoughtfully for a moment. “Well, as long as it’s business, I can give you her phone number. You could give her a call and see if you can make arrangements or something. Would that be good?” 

“Yeah, I think that’d be fine,” Even said with a little nod, watching as he scribbled down some numbers on a post-it note. “She’s not like hurt or anything, though, right? I mean, I wouldn’t want to disturb her if it’s serious.” 

“Oh, I’m sure she’s probably fine,” Benji nodded and handed him the post-it. “Interns do this all the time. They aren’t paid so we let them do what they want, basically. If they want a vacation or to work on school or anything like that, they’ll take the leave. If they want the experience, they work. So, just give her a call.” 

“Yeah, I’ll do that on my lunch, thanks Benji,” Even said, giving him a smile and leaving the room. He looked at the post-it note and then pulled out his phone, figuring he was going to have to make the call while he had the guts. He didn’t even know what to say to her, he couldn’t just straight out ask her if she suffered from some sort of mania. There was no way to ask if she had any support system for it without knowing, though. But if she was out on leave because of the mania...maybe that was the question to ask. _Why are you out on leave?_

Except, before he could finish dialling, Colette was ringing in, instead. Which was honestly probably a sign from the Universe that this was a bad idea, anyway. 

“Hey Colette, what’s up?” Even asked as he answered the phone. He folded up the post-it and put it in his pocket, not sure if he’d forget it there or if it’d burn a hole in his pocket because he felt the intense need to check up on her. 

“Hey Even, are you on lunch yet?” 

“Uh, I can be,” Even said, looking at the time on his phone for a second. “This sounds like what you did to Isak. Are you outside?” 

“I am.” 

“I’ll be right down,” He told her before hanging up the phone. It was a little weird; when she did this to Isak she made a big revelation. Even was kind of hoping there were no more revelations to be had with her. Hopefully she was just having a bad day or something she needed Even’s help with. So, he went back downstairs and outside, looking around until he saw her. She was actually across the street, sitting on the edge of the fountain in front of the building there. 

She waved at him and he used the crosswalk to jog over to her, taking a seat beside her and just raising an eyebrow at her. He figured it’d be best if she just came out with it, if in fact it was another revelation. 

“Don’t worry, I am not here to try to steal you from Isak,” She said, giving him a little buddy-punch in the arm for good measure. “You’re soulmates and _obviously_ the sex is not something I could compete with.”

“Nope,” Even said, shaking his head and looking away with a little blush and smile. He knew why Isak wanted Even calling his name. It was probably, actually pretty insensitive, but if it hurt Colette, she was hiding it pretty well. “I hope that hearing us, you know, didn’t…” 

“I’ve heard you have sex before, Even, it’s no big deal,” She said, shaking her head and reaching out for his hand. He let her take it, even if maybe it wasn’t the best idea. “You guys really are an amazing couple, and I am so happy that I get to carry these babies for two people who are so deserving and loving, you know? I just feel like I ruined everything.” 

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Even said, letting go over her hand and wrapping his arm around her instead. He wanted to show her nothing had changed, even though there was a little tension in the air between the three of them. “Feelings are a fickle, fickle creature. We can’t control them. We know you’re not trying to steal anyone, okay?” 

“I mean, okay,” She sighed and collapsed into him, emotional again. Maybe Even was triggering it. She let out little sobs into his chest. “I just...Christmas is coming up and I don’t want the holidays to be weird or the rest of our time together and I just don’t know what to do. I wish I could take it all back.” 

“It’s not going to be weird, come on,” Even said, rubbing her back and sighing a little. “Or maybe it will be a little weird, a little awkward, whatever. But we’ll ignore it. We’ll move past it.” 

“Are you sure we can?” She asked, slowly lifting her head from his chest and looking up at him. He took the opportunity to wipe away her tears and give her a nice smile, that he hoped told her what she needed. She smiled back and then put her forehead to his chest. “This is probably inappropriate. I imagine Isak senses it, and he’s on his way to tear me off of you.” 

“I’m sure he senses it, but he would never,” Even said with a little laugh, loving the idea that if he was being touched, Isak would know. Or vice versa. He kissed the top of her head and stayed quiet with her for a moment, thinking. “But, there’s someone else. I mean, not just me.” 

“What do you mean?” Colette asked, raising her head and looking at him questioningly. Her composure was coming back and her tears were subsiding. 

“The day we went to the hospital,” Even said, not knowing how he forgot about it until now. “You told the Doctor there that you had had sex. That day. And I know you haven’t had sex since the surrogacy and that you don’t usually get close to someone like that so easily from the whole Peter thing…” 

“It’s honestly not what you think,” She said with a little blush creeping to her cheeks. 

“Really? Because I can’t seem to help but remember that you were with Mallory before the trip to the hospital,” Even said, looking at her to see if she gave anything away with her eyes. They widened and she blushed harder. 

“Oh God, no, it wasn’t Mallory,” She said quickly, making sure to halt that train of thought immediately. “It my ex. A serious backslide and never going to happen again so _don’t_ tell Mallory. She hated him, she’ll be pissed. I went to her house like directly after, literally leaving him in bed, and that’s when everything happened. At first I thought that I fucked up, it must’ve been karmic that I backslid and then something bad happened. But then when it was nothing, I realized that it was karmic in a way. Like the universe telling me I was being stupid by blocking you guys out.” 

“I am often very thankful for the universe,” Even said, smiling and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “But, your secret is safe with me _and_ I promise, everything is going to get back to normal with the three-slash-five of us. You’ll see.”  
*

_Tuesday, Dec. 23_

Since they were so close to Christmas, Even and Isak were getting a lot of calls from their friends from home. Lots of wishing them the best, wanting the most up-to-date baby information, and “we can exchange gifts when you get back”'s. It wasn't like they didn't talk to them often, just not often enough, so it was nice to have all the check-ins. 

Isak’s favorite so far: Sana, Yousef, and the kids. Ivar and Dila were cute, Ivar happily screaming “happy holidays” in a definitely rehearsed way—he was pretty sure phrases like that were just a little advanced for him—and Dila babbling up a mess of almost-words. 

“I can't believe you guys didn't even come back for the holidays,” Yousef said, tsking them and shaking his head. “My parents would kill us. Sana's parents would kill us.” 

“They understand it's where we need to be,” Even told them, squeezing Isak's leg. He knew Isak felt guilty from time to time. Especially over not being around for Even's parents after everything they'd done for him, for them. But, it was true. They were excited for grandkids, they understood. 

“Yousef is just trying to guilt trip you guys because he misses you,” Sana said, shoving him playfully. “He wants you home already. But, we all do, of course. Especially this time of year. It's hard being around all this mistletoe without you guys underneath it with your hands all over each other.” 

“Honestly I don't know why everyone keeps putting it up,” Isak said with a little shrug, thinking about how they were severely lacking mistletoe everywhere they went. “You guys know it's our perfect excuse to put our hands all over each other. You all always complain about it.” 

“Everyone puts it up _for_ you guys,” Sana said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. But when they look confused, she squinted her eyes at them. “Wait, you seriously don't know that, do you?” 

“I'm confused, you put it up because you _want_ to watch us get handsy?” Isak asked. 

“Well, no,” Sana looked off for a second and pursed her lips in thought. “I think it started winter 2019… Yeah, the winter Vilde made Magnus get that seriously awful bowl haircut. There was that party at Chris's and both Vilde and Eva brought mistletoe so we hung one in the doorway to the kitchen and another in the corner in the common room.” 

“Oh yeah, I remember this!” Yousef said, snapping his fingers and nodding his head. “I swear, you guys were on some next level that night. If we weren't asking you to get out of our way so we could get into the kitchen, we'd be worried to look over into that corner to find one of your dicks out or something.” 

“And that made you guys want to put up more mistletoe? Still sounds like you want to watch us get handsy,” Even said with a nod, though he was smiling wickedly because they both remembered that night, too. Isak had started the evening so angry at his father after a terrible visit with him. But then Even pointed out the mistletoe and said that that was obviously there so Even could kiss away his anger. 

“Well, don't think we didn't notice how it softened you guys into little, gooey, happy doughboys,” Sana said, smiling small. “So we loved it, yeah. But, actually, it's a game. We each pick a place for a mistletoe, and whoever's mistletoe you kiss under the most wins.” 

“You're kidding me,” Isak said, his jaw dropping. “Oh my God. What do you get if you win? How didn't we know! Who's won, anyway?” 

“No prizes besides pure, smug satisfaction,” Yousef said, giving Sana a look. “Sana's the only one who's won more than once. And you know how good she is at smug.” 

“Smug because she's just so good at tracking our mating habits,” Isak said, giving her a look because, honestly, she probably somehow did have that kind of stuff mapped out to a science. “I can't believe there's no prizes.” 

“None of you guys give me a choice,” Sana said, shaking her head. It was fair. Since she and Isak had a lot of classes together his third year at Nissen, she got more-than-regular shows to their pre-class makeout sessions. “I'm the only one with a little bit of decency, obviously.” 

“That's what she wants you to think,” Yousef said with a little eyebrow wiggle. But Sana elbowed him and he rolled his eyes. “What! I didn't say anything.” 

“Mhm,” Sana said, putting a hand on her face and shaking her head a little. The two of them were a little more private about their sex life than the rest of their friends. They got little details here and there—mostly from Yousef—but mostly just descriptive words. And nothing that sounded too wild. 

“Oh, Sana, you have two kids and we know the stork didn't bring them,” Isak said with a little smile. He knew Sana at least talked to her girl friends about any of the sex stuff if it was problematic or she needed some sort of advice. He'd never tell her that it hurt just a little that she wouldn't confide in him. “And honestly, Yousef does so good at not bragging about your sex life that I almost think you're keeping it from him. Like you only have sex to procreate.” 

“Isak,” Even said under his breath, pinching his bicep. “Don't make her uncomfortable.” 

“Though I'm hoping to do some more procreating, I can tell you that that is not the case,” Yousef said, not hearing Even's warnings. 

“And that's information only for us,” Sana said, scolding Yousef with her eyes. He just smiled back goofily and Isak calmed. Those things were just for them, he didn't need to get up in his feelings about it. 

“Good, I don't even want to think about this guy in bed,” Even said about Yousef, making a face as if he were the most disgusting human in the whole world and seeing him indecent would surely make him vomit. Isak couldn’t help but laugh a little because it seemed like a pretty hetero-boy thing to do. “Disgusting.” 

“I resent that, I know you’d both take a piece, if you could,” Yousef said with a little wink while his hand snaked around Sana’s shoulders. “Unfortunately for you, I am tied to this Goddess sitting next to me.” 

“Goddess? Fy faen, Yousef, you actually are disgusting and that is mush,” Sana said, rolling her eyes but Isak could see the little blush in her cheeks, the little shine in her eyes that said Yousef saying things like that made her feel good, maybe even made her fall a little bit more in love. 

“So, have you worn her down yet? Is there a baby number three in the works?” Even asked after they stopped laughing and enjoying the moment that kind of felt like they were all actually together. As if this were one of their nights out back in Oslo with no distance in between them. 

“Don’t get him started!” Sana said, widening her eyes, though her shock only seemed to be half there. Maybe he was starting to wear her down, maybe she was starting to think that a third wouldn’t be so terrible. Isak, on the other hand, didn’t even know how he and Even were going to handle two right out of the gates. 

“C’mon, our kids could be the same year, that would be so cute,” Even said, obviously on Yousef’s side here. Even was apparently ready for three. Especially since they weren’t lucky enough to have one of each of their sperm attach to a couple eggs. And now they’d have two of either Even’s or Isak’s. And Isak was still secretly wishing on stars that they were Even’s, so he could see his beauty radiate in their girls. And, if that were the case, Even would make them do it all over again. 

“If it makes you feel better, I have a feeling we’ll end up with three, too,” Isak said, maybe a little less enthusiastically than he should have. So, he tried to give Even a convincing smile, not to let him in on those anxieties that had already been creeping up, though they hadn’t even had their first born yet. 

“Isak, you’re supposed to be on my side, here,” Sana said, relaxing a little more into Yousef. 

“Hey, it’s your body, Babe,” Isak said, putting his hands up and giving her a little smile. “If you don’t want to loan it to another baby, that’s your choice.” 

“Thank you,” Sana said proudly, tilting her head up a little and smiling brilliantly. 

 

_Thursday, Dec. 25_

Christmas seemed to be a little bit different every year as they got older. When they were really young, Even and Isak didn't even spend Christmas Day together; Isak would be with his Mom and sometimes his Dad, and Even would spend the day with every relative in a 500 kilometer radius. 

The first time it changed was the first time they spent a Christmas together. Isak was eleven and he didn't know all the details on why his parents needed to push him off on someone else. It wasn't like he knew or was close enough with any relatives to go anywhere else, so the Bech Næsheim’s took him gladly. It was crazy for Isak—he had thought he met most of Even's family before that but he was dead wrong. Even pulled him around, introducing him to cousins and uncles and people who had all these stories about Even that Isak didn't know. Even then Isak felt intimidated by such a thing, wanting to be the one who knew the most about the beautiful blonde boy he looked up to. When they were alone, Isak had wanted to make up for it by talking to Even about mistletoe. 

“At the store the other day, there was a couple kissing underneath mistletoe outside,” Isak had told him, looking around, wondering if Even's big family would hang up something like that; the house was completely done up, mistletoe wasn't too far a jump and it might be nice to have an excuse to kiss Even like he’d done for the first time a couple years back, or maybe like he would in just a few months time. “Apparently, since mistletoe is one of the only plants that survives in the winter time, it's seen as _vivacious_ ,” he used the word his Mom had to seem smarter to the older boy, “and that makes people want to kiss.” 

“That sounds more like it makes people horny,” the thirteen-year-old Even had said, stunning Isak, making his cheeks and ears burn. “Vivacious is like, lively. So it brings life, so they want to make babies. And you know how they make babies, right? It all starts with a kiss. That's why we can't put any up this year. My cousin, Maja, brought her boyfriend and she's fifteen and he's seventeen and my aunt and uncle don't want them kissing because they caught them close to s-e-x.” 

“They didn't seem…” Isak tried to say, remembering Maja and her boyfriend. They seemed nice, not like the older teens at the park that yelled at them when they came near and made noises with their hands down each other's pants. Maybe it was the mistletoe that would make them act in such a way, which only made Isak redder as he thought of how badly he had wanted to secretly catch Even underneath it. 

“They're on their best behavior because they already got yelled at on the ride here, I guess,” Even shrugged and then through a careless hand across Isak's tiny shoulders. “We should see if we can get any details out of him. See what it’s like. Sex, I mean.”

“Okay,” Isak said, willing to do anything with Even, even if he wasn’t exactly into it, it was the perfect way to spend his Christmas. 

The next time he spent Christmas with them was three years later, but things were already a little bit different then. Some cousins had stopped coming, even Even wasn't spending the whole day with them anymore. He carted Isak off to hang out with Even's friends and this time he watched with jealousy as Even flirted shamelessly with girls and boys alike. And the Christmases continued to change. They spent more time with their friends, or out together once they were a couple. 

This year was weird because it was going to be the most different yet, and also the last before they'd have little ones to bring to Even's family get-togethers or before they'd be making their own traditions for their own family. It was the most different so far but they wanted to make the absolute most of it. So they planned it out: After their beautiful Christmas morning sex, the rest of the morning was to be spent video chatting with first Even’s family and then Isak’s. The afternoon would be for the two of them to exchange gifts and watch Even’s favorite Christmas classics. Then around three their local friends would start showing up because Even promised a feast. 

Gifts from their families had come in in the few days before in cute and discrete boxes and they had sat under their tree next to the presents they had gotten for each other. They opened them while they were talking to them on FaceTime. 

As for presents, they pretty much thought they nailed it, even with Ana although they decided to give together. Both Lisa and Josefine loved the Spa Day packages and gift certificates they had gotten them. Marianne loved her exotic plants. Terje loved his fancy rolex—that they got super cheap on a sale but would never tell him—and Milo would’ve loved any toy they’d given him, but personalized toy-cars with his name and favorite number on the sides seemed to light up his face more than ever. They spent a little extra on Martin, who got monogrammed everything with his initials and the words “World’s Greatest Dad.” Ten pens, a couple notebooks, a tie clip, a not-cheap rolex, and a tennis racquet because he liked to play sometimes. 

All of their friends got personalized Christmas cards that took days to make, and they all seemed to love them, even the ones who didn’t celebrate the holiday. So, they were pretty sure they were still the Kings of Christmas—or perhaps of the Holidays as a whole—even from a distance. And they were totally going to nail it each year as Dads, too. Isak could feel it. It was a year away and he was already ready for that first Christmas. 

“So, can _we_ finally open each other’s presents now,” Even asked after Martin and Josefine finally hung up. He crawled right up Isak’s side, kissing his neck and his face. “Because I think you are going to love this and I have no idea how I didn’t think of it sooner. But I am going to get laid and laid and _laid_.” 

“As if you don’t already,” Isak laughed, taking his face and giving him a nice little smooch before standing up. He walked over to the tree and bent down, wiggling his ass a little and picking up his gift for Even. Even smiled genuinely, his face lighting up as Isak gave him the present, reflecting the excitement their kids would show them on Christmas mornings to come. Isak kissed him again—he couldn’t help it—before picking up the present that Even had beautifully written his name on. “But I think mine to you could get me laid and laid and laid _and laid_. So…” 

“We’re going to have to give something else up if we’re going to be fucking more,” Even said, tapping the box on his lap and smiling wide at Isak. “We need food and sleep...and some people think showering might be essential, too. Jobs give us money...hmm.” 

“We’ll give up half the food and half the sleep, duh,” Isak told him, smiling back and giving him a wink. “Do you want to open on three or watch each other open them?” 

“I need to watch you,” Even said with a nod, looking at the box Isak had. “And I want you to go last because we save the best for last around here.” 

“Well then we should probably save yours for last,” Isak said pretending to go snatch the box out of his hands. Even jumped up and started opening it in the air. “Even, you don’t even know if it’s fragile, sit down!” 

“Sorry, sorry,” Even said, laughing and carefully sitting back on the couch as he continued to open the present. It was the newest, most technologically advanced graphic animation tablet and stylus pen that Isak could find. Even was always talking about maybe turning his comics into little cartoons and while there were other ways to do it, Isak new that Even was only going to do it if he knew he could get the highest possible quality he could get out of it. In the box, he also packed his favorite Even and Isak comics to request that those be what he made first, if only just for them. “Oh my God, Isak this is amazing! Holy shit, look at it...it looks so fancy. So legit. Like I'm a legitimate animator.” 

“You are, or you could be,” Isak said, smiling wide at him as he examined the device. “I think you should make them and post them to YouTube. It'd definitely get your channel more views and then who knows.” 

“I love you and I love how much you believe in me,” Even said, setting three tablet to the side and throwing his arms around Isak. “You're right, you're getting extra laid. But now it's yooouuur turn.” 

“Time for the moment of Truth,” Isak said playfully as he started opening up his present from Even. He did it as slowly as possible, hoping to drive Even crazy. One year Isak was opening a present so slowly that Even ripped it out of his hands, unwrapped it, and then shoved it back in his lap to marvel. But this time he didn’t; instead he watched with eyes wide with excitement, rocking a little in his seat because he really couldn’t wait patiently. “Can I just say that if your Christmas-morning excitement has any indication of what our kids will be like, that is going to be cute as hell.” 

“Well, if the girls are yours, this stealthy and sneaky attitude you have will be adorable as hell, too,” Even said, reaching over and tapping on his box. “But come on, open it up already. Unless..wait..you didn’t peak, did you?! You totally know what’s inside the box!” 

“I literally have no idea, Babe,” Isak said with a laugh, slapping Even’s hand away and this time starting to open it a little bit faster. It needed assembly, but once Isak was looking at all the parts, he knew exactly what it was: a telescope. An Orion SkyQuest model of sorts. It was beautiful and shiny and so high tech, they’d be able to see everything—stars, planets, showers, whatever. It was beautiful and underneath there was a print: a personalized Star Map with Isak’s name underneath with the words “du er ikke alene” and the number 21:21. It was beautiful. 

“Oh my God, Ev,” Isak said, feeling a little bout of tears prickle in his eyes. He set aside the box and just lunged himself at Even, wrapping his arms around his neck and attacking his face with kisses on kisses. The two boys laughed and wrestled into the cushions on the couch until they were clothesless and intertwined to give the best kind of thank yous they could manage. 

“So, you like it, then?” Even asked when they were done. It was accompanied by a breathless little chuckle while his hand raked mindlessly through Isak’s hair. 

“I love it,” Isak told him, kissing his chest and neck a few times over. “We’re going to have so many romantic dates with it. What about you? Is your present okay?” 

“It’s literally perfect, I’m so excited to start using it,” Even told him honestly. 

“You should draw an animation of us having sex,” Isak said, pondering the thought of watching animated versions of themselves go at it like bunnies. How would Even draw him to look while he was being pleasured out of his mind? Maybe Isak wouldn’t even recognize himself like that because Even was the only one who really knew what that looked like. 

“That would be the most obscene thing this world has ever seen,” Even said, laughing a little and kissing the top of Isak’s head. “You want to watch us having animated sex? Would that turn you on?” 

“Mmm, maybe,” Isak said with a little shrug, thinking about it. If it was animated, it could get more obscene, more dirty than they actually got, so it could definitely get Isak’s brain going. “But mostly I just want to see what you see. Like: what is sex like for you, from your eyes? I know what you look like when you’re completely lost in the pleasure. With your hair sticking up on the sides, cheeks burning the same color as your ears and probably just as warm as your dick. But what about me?” 

“Sounds like you’re already gearing up for round two,” Even told him with a laugh that filled up Isak’s ears, left him swimming for a moment or two. “I could always fuck you in front of a mirror, if you want to see yourself that badly.”

“No...I mean...well...yes, let’s definitely do that sometime,” Isak said, feeling a little blush creep to his cheeks as he thought about it. “I mean, yeah, that would let me see what I look like and also the entire picture as a whole and that’d be hot. But, I want to see what you see from _your_ eyes. Because you see me differently than anyone else.” 

“Okay, okay,” Even caved, kissing the side of Isak’s face while his hand ran all the way down Isak’s side, cupping the back of his thigh and hitching it over Even’s bare hip. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you because it’s going to be dirty as fuck.” 

*  
Colette was helping Even with the meal and they were pretty close to being done, just fifteen more minutes and they could start plating everything. Everyone who said they were coming was there: Chuck, Dex, Taylor, Mallory, Harper and Colette. Even had wanted to invite Peter over, too, but Colette begged him not to because apparently things were awkward between them. Even was pretty sure she was just pushing away a good thing, but he wouldn’t mention it now. Maybe he just needed to open his eyes for someone else like he told her he would. He was just obviously painfully unsure of her type. He couldn’t even gather many similarities between him and Mallory. Maybe if he asked more about the ex.

“Even, I just want to let you know that you have absolutely doomed me,” Chuck said, walking into the kitchen while Colette was washing her hands at the sink and Even was checking out the dessert recipe on his phone to see if there was anything fancy he could add to it to give it a Bech Næsheim touch. He looked up from his phone and raised an eyebrow questioningly, willing him to go on. “I literally got Dex a necklace with a C on it for Charles. And you got Isak a whole-ass telescope. Dex is in their drooling over it as we speak.” 

“A necklace with a C isn’t so bad, it’s cute,” Colette said, turning around at the sink and looking at Chuck. “What did he get you?” 

“Things that were definitely a little more personal,” He said as a little blush crept across his cheeks. Chuck was what he imagined Eskild meant when he called Isak _Baby Gay_. Even himself had never really seen Isak in such a way because he was always very comfortable with Even from the get-go, but Chuck was probably it. Nervous about all the new things, scared about what he didn’t know, and excited about the adventure in front of him that finally felt like he would be able to be himself. 

“I think you did good,” Even told him with a nod, walking over to the doorway and looking out at Isak and Dex geeking out for a moment. It made him smile and he had to actually rip his eyes from Isak’s face to get back into the conversation. “You guys haven’t been together very long at all. Isak and I used to get smaller things for each other like that but now we’ve been together for years. We’ve spent a lot of time zooming in on those little clues of our deepest desires. If you got Dex something like that so soon, who knows, you could scare him off.” 

“I think there’s more of a chance of Dex scaring Charles off than vice versa,” Colette said, hopping up on the counter “Dex has always come on pretty strong. I still think it’s crazy that _you’re_ attracted to _him_. Not that you’re gay and attracted to guys but, him in general. He can be a lot.” 

“He’s super nerdy,” Chuck said, biting his lip and leaning against the wall. “And I know in social settings he’s always done that outlandish, flirt with everyone thing but that’s more of a defense mechanism. Because he is nerdy and he’s always been nerdy and it wasn’t always great for him. Even though it is really cute.” 

“So he’s all different and cuddly behind closed doors, then?” Colette asked, batting her eyelashes cutely. 

“So different, but don’t tell him I told you,” Chuck said with a laugh before looking at Even. “And you’re really sure the necklace was okay? Should I give him something else?” 

“Well, I’d hope you two already had some super sweet Holiday Sex?” Even asked and Chuck nodded sheepishly, the blush creeping back. “Then I’d say you did good. Check back in on his birthday, though.” Even laughed and patted him on the shoulder before going back to the stove and turning it off. It was time to start plating and finish the holiday off strong with a feast the American Way: with lots and lots and lots of food to choose from.  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm like, looking at my plans for this story and holy there's so much more that's gotta happen and these next few chapters may or may not be rough. And like, woo this cliffhanger turned out fine but...y'know. 
> 
> Anywho, thanks for reading and comments are very welcome. love you all.


	15. American Candy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got away from me, I ended up having to cut a lot but hoping to use some of it for the next chapter but enjooyoyoyoyoy

_Monday, Dec. 30_  
*  
Even never did contact Kate after getting her number from Benji. He had felt like it was a sign that Colette had called him when he had almost called Kate. But now he was wondering if the fact that the work he needed done before the New Year was going to require interns was a sign. Anything could be a sign. He wondered as he walked down the hallway to the intern’s lounge if maybe she’d miraculously returned, if maybe he’d find her there, she’d be her annoying self, and he could put it all behind him and not think twice about it again. 

It would be good for his own sanity, which sounded selfish, but he barely knew the girl, he didn’t know why he cared so much about what might not even be going on with her, it wasn’t like he was in charge of all bi-polar or mania-suffering people on the planet. Unfortunately, though, he couldn’t find her when he scanned the room, which meant no miraculous recovery today and a sinking feeling in his gut, anyway. He did see the guy she was with the day that he met her. His pinchable cheeks under his thick-rimmed glasses and his (probably) bottle-blonde receding hair was hard to miss in the crowd. He was on a laptop and talking to another guy who Even would totally ship him with. He was basically Chubby Cheek’s opposite, with dark, dark brown hair that was almost black, taught cheekbones and jawline, eyes wide and somewhat slanted down in the inner corners. He imagined if they stood he might have a good height over him, too. 

Maybe he could play matchmaker and ask about Kate, too. 

He sauntered up to the table and flashed the two of them with a bright, happy smile. “Hey guys. Even from video, I’m pretty sure we’ve met before.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I helped you with that project, uh… _Golden Trees?_ ” Chubby Cheeks said, sitting up more attentively. Still so eager after months in the position. He’d probably be destined for greatness with his ambition. 

“They actually changed the title to _Wind Blown Love_ ,” Even said, shaking his head. Truly, he didn’t understand either title but this wasn’t about that so he moved on. “But, yes, of course I remember you...Except, I don’t think I caught your name, I’m sorry.” 

“Harry,” He said, smiling and holding out his hand for a handshake. Even shook it and then looked at the handsome boy beside him. Harry spoke up and motioned to him. “This is Jerry.” 

“Harry and Jerry? You’re kidding,” Even said, looking between the two of them and trying not to show that he was picturing their entire futures lined up together for the long run—totally not picturing a Harry plus Jerry wedding. 

“Unfortunately not,” Jerry spoke up, shaking his head and giving a little smirk as he talked, “The first friend I make here and our names rhyme. Can you believe it? It’s some sort of cosmic joke.” 

“Well, we’ll leave the cosmos out of it...for now,” Harry said, looking at him and then up at Even. He was thirsty for both Jerry and any work he could lay his hands on. “Was there something you needed help with, Even? I have a meeting with Benji at one but I’m free for the rest of the day.” 

“I do need help,” Even said with a smile, looking between them and then motioning for them to follow him as he headed back to his office. “I have two projects I need finished by the time I leave work, at noon, tomorrow. Mostly done but they need a few things double checked by new eyes before we send it off to finishing. And, if you like, I can recommend the finishing guys use you for help, if they need it.”

“Okay, sounds great,” Harry said, very excited as always. 

“Perfect,” Even said before wasting no time getting them up to his office. “I’ll let you two work off the big monitors. I’ll work off my laptop. I need you to check these edits for me. They need to look smooth and seamless and can’t cause anything else in the frame to be thrown off.” 

“We can do that,” Jerry said as Even showed them the specific frames he was especially worried about. He had them sit in the two desk chairs and he sat at his sofa, pulling out his laptop and chord. 

“Harry,” Even said, knowing that he wasn’t working this in organically at all, but wanting to get it out of the way so he could focus. “That day you helped me out, you were with two girls. One of them was names Kate. Kate Swan, I think.” 

“Yeah, Kate Swan, that’s her,” He said, looking at Even’s left hand, looking at his ring, no doubt. Wondering why a married man might be inquiring. “What about her?” 

“I let her borrow one of my hard drives for a project she said she was working on,” Even said, keeping the lie alive. “Then she just kind of disappeared and I never got her number or anything.”

“I can probably get it for you,” Jerry said, though Even didn’t know that he knew Kate, too. Were they friends? Would he have more information? Did he actually know where she was at to get some fictional hard drive for him?

“Oh, well,” Even tried not to stammer and be caught in his lie. He supposed he could be a little more truthful. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, so he might as well be. “It’s not like I need the hard drive immediately. I have plenty of others and I backed up that one before I let her borrow it… I’m just more worried about her, if I’m being honest. Like I said, she just disappeared and I kind of thought she was acting off before that. My husband...he kind of told her off and I agreed with him and then I just never saw her again.” 

“So _you’re_ the guy she liked,” Jerry said, a flash of jealousy running through his pupils as Even realized that, unfortunately for Harry, it was not him that Jerry was interested in. He was more likely crushing on Kate—which didn’t have to be a bad thing. 

“I told her from the start that I’m married,” Even said, feeling the need to defend himself, “That I have no interest because I’ve never not been in love with my husband. But, yeah, I guess I’m the guy. But...it’s...she...there’s a lot. I just want to talk to her but I don’t want her trying to jump me or anything. Wait, do you guys have New Year’s Eve plans?” 

“Besides trying to crash a few parties and hopefully get laid?” Harry asked with a wishful sigh. 

“Okay, perfect,” Even said, looking between the two of them, “We’re having a party. Well, our friends are at their aunt’s house but we’re helping throw it so, what if I invite the three of you? It’ll give me a chance to just set things straight with her, maybe a couple of you can get closer or there will be plenty of singles of all genders and sexualities at the party so you’ll definitely hook up because you’re both adorable. What do you say? Does that sound good?” 

“Buttering us up by calling us adorable gets you a yes,” Harry said, smiling so wide. He was just a ball of excitement about everything, apparently. “Jerry can invite Kate.” 

Jerry shrugged a little and nodded, either not caring or knowing that Harry wasn’t going to let them turn down being invited to the party, “Yeah, okay.” 

“Perfect, yeah, do that,” Even said, standing up and pulling out his phone. “I just have to let my husband know, I’ll be right back.” 

He really did need to let Isak know but that wasn’t what he was doing so that Kate showing up to see him again wouldn’t be another huge surprise. But that wasn’t what he needed to do at that moment. He had some thoughts about knowing that Kate was telling other people about him, he had thoughts about whether or not Kate actually liked this guy, Jerry, or if maybe she’d turn him down. He still had her number. Before he took off the clothes he was wearing when he slipped the note into his pocket, he put it in his phone and it sat there. 

So, he’d give her a quick call in hopes that he could sway her into coming with the two of them. Which may have been using his slight power he had from being her crush, but he figured that if he was also helping her, it was fine. And he would be, and maybe he could even show her that someone else cared for her. Not him—well him, kinda—but Jerry. 

But he swiftly decided that he _had_ to put it away whether or not anything worked, whether or not she came, whether or not she listened to him, whether or not he knew everything was fine. He’d put it away. Which was fair for all parties involved, really. 

With that mental declaration, he pressed dial on her contact. He put the phone up to his ear, listening to it ring and feeling less and less confident as the rings went on. Okay, so she wasn’t going to answer, he could leave a message. He just needed to think of something good to say that she couldn’t argue without him on the other line to defend. 

“It’s Kate Swan, I’m screening my calls. Leave a message if you’re not spam, byyyyyyeeeeee.” Beep. 

“Kate,” Exhale, “It’s Even, uh, from work. Yes, _that_ Even... I got your number from Benji because I wanted to check up, I guess. I haven’t seen you around in awhile,” deep breath, low sigh, “Well, since Isak and I… anyway, I’ve invited Harry and Jerry from work to invite you to a New Year’s party my friend is throwing tomorrow night. I really hope you decide to come so we can talk. Adult to Adult. Okay. See you then, maybe. Bye.”   
*

_Tuesday, Dec. 31 - Wednesday, Jan. 1_  
17:25  
Isak looked himself over in the mirror and couldn’t help but sigh. He looked good, all dressed up for the night out with a vest and tie included, that wasn’t what he was sighing about. He cupped his chin and leaned closer, covering up the sigh with a little further inspection and a declaration that he needed to shave, that his face wasn’t smooth enough. Though it was, and he was pretty sure Even knew that because they were kissing not even ten minutes ago and ten minutes before that and ten minutes before that, too. 

Even didn’t question as Isak headed out of the room anyway. He closed the door behind him so Even wouldn’t see as he rushed down the hallway to grab his bag from where he’d left it on the couch when he got home. He pulled out his laptop and rushed to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. 

He was all ready for dinner so he had time to obsess for a second or two. It was stupid but he was feeling off and a list seemed to be the best way to handle it. So, he made a list and seeing as it was New Year’s Eve, the list was a New Year’s Resolution list. The problem was that it wasn’t even an actual list yet. All he had was one bullet stating that he had to get back on track for school within the month. He added a sub bullet saying that he needed to take the next month to get ahead so that he _wouldn’t_ fall behind again. 

Still not exactly a list. There had to be more to prepare, because Isak was feeling incredibly anxious about things not being in order. Maybe everything else that wasn’t in order wasn’t even in his control and couldn’t go on his list, which made him more frustrated and itchy. He scratched his arms over his red sleeves. The fabric started to sooth him, though, and suddenly he was petting it and focusing on the softness beneath his fingers and how nice it felt. It sort of gave him the same, relaxing feel that playing with Even’s hair when it was freshly clean felt. 

“Isak, I—” Even said, coming into the bathroom and making Isak jump. He almost threw his laptop as he slammed it shut and then spun around. “Well, I’m confused because that wasn’t porn. It was a document.” 

“It wasn’t anything, you just scared me,” Isak said, putting his hand over his heart, and it was partially true. He could’ve sworn he locked the door so he didn’t expect any intruders. “I locked the door.” 

“The lock on this door doesn’t work, I thought you knew that,” Even said with a little laugh and a curious twitch of his eyebrows. He crossed his arms and looked Isak over. “I didn’t realize we were in the habit of locking each other out, though.” 

“I’m not trying to lock you out, I’m sorry,” Isak sighed a little, continuing to dodge the full truth, “I just felt silly because I’m making a New Year’s Resolution list.” 

“No need to feel silly,” Even said with a little shrug, his features suddenly lightening. He was smiling as if he found Isak and his list so endearing. “Let me see the list, maybe I can help you with some of your goals.” 

“It’s actually not done, yet,” Isak said, shaking his head and snatching up his laptop to hold to his chest. “I need to think it over and stuff. I’ll show you when it’s done and we will definitely tackle it together. 

“Okay,” Even said skeptically as Isak walked over and pecked him on the cheek. “So I was wondering if you knew where my leather belt was, I can’t find it.” 

“Because I’m wearing it,” Isak said, looking at Even and then down at himself. He definitely needed it more. Well, it went well with both of their outfits but pants were always so loose on Even’s tiny hips, so he took it off and handed it over. “I’ll find another one.” 

“I can find another,” Even said as Isak put it in his hand. 

“Nah, it’s okay,” Isak smiled and pecked him on the lips now, “You need it more than me.” 

“Why? Because I don't have that beautiful ass of yours to keep my pants up?” Even asked, smiling and patting Isak's ass. “You know, you're mean. Here I am not making fun of your list and you're making fun of my body.” 

“I would never make fun of your body,” Isak told him honestly, trying not to think about the fact that Even's mind was still on the list and there was a slim chance he was going to get out of showing it to him by the next morning, at the latest. He kissed him gently on the lips and then stayed close, speaking low and slow. “Your hips are sexy, your ass is sexy. You just ooze sex, Even.” 

“Jeez, I've gotta get you out of here before you end up making us miss our reservation,” Even joked, laughing and wrapping an alarm around Isak to pull him to his side. “Ready for the last night of another year together?” 

“I am.”

*  
21:35  
Even and Isak went to dinner alone, spending hours cuddling in a booth and reflecting on the year as they ate. It was good, all in all. They had some bumpy times, but they always made it through, and the best thing about the year was just the Best Thing So Far: they started a family. Of course the twins wouldn’t actually be there until next year, it still counted. So, they were happy, and high off of their love for each other on the Uber over to Chuck and Taylor’s _Rich_ Aunt’s house for the party. 

Even was still thinking about the list Isak said he was making. Honestly, he didn't believe it was a list when Isak told him. They never made new year's resolutions, so it seemed far fetched. Even thought maybe it was a speech. But nothing happened at dinner and Isak wasn't very likely to make a speech at the party, and if he was, Even wanted to make one too. 

“So, about that document on your laptop,” Even said, poking his side playfully because he was a little buzzed. “It's not like a speech or something, right? You're not looking to upstage me in the Husband role tonight?” 

“You're absolutely impossible to upstage,” Isak told him, laughing and grabbing his wrist, sliding his hand up to lace their fingers together. He was smiling until he met Even's eyes. “It's not a speech, it really is a resolution list.” 

“So what's in it so far then?” Even asked, not exactly wanting to push him but feeling his curiosity spike. “Something you're hiding from me…” 

“I am,” Isak said, his mouth actually twitching down into a frown. He hesitated for a moment and then turned completely sideways in the seat, taking Even's face in his hands. They were warm and when his eyes met Even's, he felt okay, even with the blunt confession and extreme confusion over what he was hiding. “I'm falling behind in my schoolwork.” 

“But you work for like, hours upon hours every night,” Even said, not being able to believe it. It didn’t seem possible. There was so much time he didn’t get to spend kissing and cuddling him, so much time that he’d holed himself up in their room while they had guests over. But he didn’t look like he was lying; Even could usually tell when he was lying. “How is that even possible?” 

“I mean, yeah, I do, but I take too many days off from it,” Isak sighed, his hands falling to Even’s shoulders. Even took his sides and wanted to pull him right into his lap but they’d already angered a number of Uber drivers for getting too close in the backseat. And they were already speaking another language which people there didn’t seem to like, so he just gave his sides a squeeze and rested his hands there, trying to show Isak his support in a physical way. “I need to start thinking of it more as a part of my job. It is. And I need to work at it every day, skipping days is wrong.” 

“Why were you hiding this from me? I know I hate having to leave you alone but I would understand, Baby,” Even said, frowning a little and fighting that urge to just hold him and kiss him better. “You need more time, I can make sure you get it.” 

“It’s not that, I know that,” Isak sighed, moving his hand back up and caressing Even’s cheek. It was gentle and warm on his face. “You are the most supportive person and I am just so lucky, you know. I just...I’ve been working so hard..really hard, to be honest. Yeah, I take days off but I have been working my ass off on the days that I do work. I felt so much like a failure when Markus told me and I didn’t want you to feel like that about me too. I just want to focus more and get ahead and make you proud. You make me so proud every day.” 

“Isak,” Even managed to say, his throat feeling a little tight because he was sad that Isak had been going through this, scared to tell him. Scared to disappoint Even when he could never. “I would never think you were a failure. You make me so proud every day too. Look at all the school you’ve made it through so far. And you’re going to finish on time, even if you’re behind right now. I know it because I believe in you. So much.” 

“But, Even, I don’t know how I’m going to make the time,” Isak seemed like he might start to get hysterical. Even looked out the corner of his eye at the driver’s gps. They weren’t too far from the party. Maybe he could ask her to pull over and they could walk the rest of the way. “Eskild, Noora, and Eva will be here in a week and Colette is always over and usually another person and I already feel like I barely get time with you and now it feels like the only way I’ll be able to is if I give up food or sleep.” 

“We could give up half of both,” Even jokes, moving a hand to run through his hair, gentle and slow. “Don’t worry about it. I will make sure you have time for me and for school. I swear by it.”   
*

22:45  
So their night had a hiccup also known as an anxiety attack. But Even had calmed Isak down really well—it actually had Isak feeling extra sweet on him, wanting to nuzzle up with him and get cozy and abandon all plans, but alas—and they had made it to the party. Then basically all of his cares were out of the door and they started really drinking, Isak even caught a hit of a blunt some kids had been passing around outside and he was feeling great. Their year was over and Isak was so excited about what the next year of their lives would bring. With babies in their future, it had to be infinitely better. Maybe even the best year so far. And partying and letting go was a wonderful way to celebrate that. 

He and Dex were in a miscellaneous sitting area in the huge mansion-esque house the party was being thrown in. They were talking about psychology. Well, kinda. They were kind of too drunk to be talking about psychology so they weren’t making much sense. Dex was basically like a male Sana and Isak enjoyed his company and nerdy conversations. Even when they were out-of-their-minds drunk, which never happened with Sana. 

“Man, you’re the coolest nerd I’ve ever met,” Isak said, putting a hand on his shoulder and giving it a little squeeze. “Where have you been all my life?”

“The other side of the world, you know, that whole separate continent thing is a killer,” Dex said, laughing a little and shaking his head before adding. “Especially with oceans in between. But you’re right, we were absolutely meant to be friends. Which I’m assuming is what you meant because I gotttttaaa say, I’m in love. Oh, and you’re married with twins on the way and so yeah.” 

“Oh, don’t go boosting your ego like that, I meant platonically,” Isak said, pushing him away now and picking up his solo cup to take a sip. It was a pineapple mango concoction of sorts with tons and tons of alcohol that you could barely taste. It was great, and Isak’s mind was sufficiently fogged. “Speaking of, though...where are those boys?” 

Isak put his fingers to his lips instead of saying that he could use a kiss or a hundred kisses. He and Dex could absolutely talk about their men for hours upon hours, honestly, but Isak couldn’t do it drunk. He wanted Even too much and talking or thinking about him just intensified that. He started to think about his hands in Even’s hair and then had to clear his throat before he thought any further. 

“Chuck and Taylor had a few obligations, he said he’d be by my side by eleven and for the rest of the night,” Dex said, looking around, and then like he’d heard himself being talked about, Chuck swung around the corner. When he saw Dex, he lit up, walked over to him and plopped right into his lap. He was a little drunk and sloppy in his demeanor, but it was cute to watch as he took Dex’s face and started kissing him. Dex responded immediately, his ears reddening as he took Chuck’s waist and kissed him back. 

Isak watched, literally watched because he couldn’t take his eyes off of it. It was slow and sweet and sexy and Isak was starting to feel a little bit more of a horny kind of drunk. He couldn’t help but imagine the way the touches and caresses felt, how their lips must’ve felt while they swelled up from the intensity. It was awful and he’d probably never admit it out loud, but he probably could’ve gotten off to the sight of them in that moment. Not that he would, but still. 

So he tore his eyes off of them, finally, and looked at the doorway to the room they were in. He was trying to will Even to come find him, to take him away before midnight and make him go crazy for the last time that year. Then they could countdown with everyone else and go find another place to go crazy for the first time next year. 

Dexter must’ve remembered Isak suddenly, an eye popping open and looking over at him before gently pulling away from Chuck. Isak saw the movement out of the corner of his eye and looked over at them, raising his eyebrows. 

“You haven’t even asked us to get a room,” Dex commented. 

“He’s enjoying the show. I know I would,” Chuck giggled, apparently very drunk and carefree. Which was evident in his wandering hands and lilted voice. 

“Yep, it’s hot, you’re hot,” Isak said, making it sound like a joke and then looking back over to the door at the exact moment that Even walked through it. Maybe their telepathy was just a little delayed or Even had a far walk to get to him. He smiled at Even, but Even actually looked a little panicked. “What happened?” 

“I fucked up, I’m so sorry,” He said immediately, walking over to Isak and taking his hand to pull him up off the couch. He grabbed his face and pouted a little. “Please don’t be mad. I really don’t want you to be mad. I just wanted to help.” 

“My God, Even, what did you do?” Dex asked, almost screaming it for Isak, who was speechless and confused and just staring into Even’s panicked eyes. It wasn’t the most calming thing for his husband to walk in a room and tell him he’d fucked up right off the bat. It made him spin out, speechless, just waiting for the explanation. 

“I invited a couple interns from work,” He said and he swallowed hard, his adam’s apple bobbing. Isak could see the little flicker in his eyes, he was literally worried Isak was about to flip his lid, which only made Isak more worried. “Including Kate because I wanted to check up on her.” 

“Kate? You mean the stalker intern?” Isak asked, trying to clarify before he indeed, did flip his lid. Even just nodded his head and Isak could see Dex and Chuck’s jaws drop in his peripherals but Isak narrowed his eyes and focused on _him_. God, he was so stupid and irresponsible and he was putting his job at risk and for what? “What was the plan here, Even?!” 

“Jesus, Even, you’re asking to be murdered,” Chuck said, shaking his head, “I don’t know how it works in Norway, but here in the U.S., we don’t usually invite stalkers to parties.” 

“I’m pretty sure you don’t do that, anywhere,” Dex said. The two of them were making it very hard for Isak to figure out what the hell Even was thinking. Though, they had a point, Even was trying to get himself murdered or fired or both in rapid succession and probably Isak too. Isak leaned over to give them a look to tell them how much they weren’t helping then grabbed Even by the collar, pulling him into the hallway. 

“I meant it when I said I wanted to help,” Even said the second that they were alone in the hallway, taking Isak’s hand off his shirt and taking hold of it. “I think you were right that night when you said she needed a therapist. I dunno. Something in me is telling me to help her. That she actually needs the help. I just fucked up because I forgot to tell you because I honestly thought they weren’t going to make it.” 

“That is not your job at all,” Isak said, twisting his hand free from Even’s before putting both his hands on his own hips, knowing touching Even was going to be no good for him if he was going to try stand his ground here. “You can’t even give her therapy legally yourself, so what are you even supposed to be doing?”

“Maybe she has no support, Isak,” Even said, his face flashing a little bit of anger that surprised Isak. “I need to talk to her to see if she needs the support, see if there is anything I can provide to help her get herself under control. I want to help her, or at least see if I can get one of these intern friends to help her. But I need to talk to her first.” 

“Ev..” Isak sighed, seeing the look in his eyes and knowing he was doing this, whether or not Isak thought it was a good idea. He couldn’t help but pout for a number of reasons. But there was really only one he could argue. “Do you realize you have a little less than an hour if you’re going to be back to me by midnight?”

“I will be back to you by midnight, that’s my absolute last promise to you this year,” Even said, taking Isak’s shoulders and looking down at him with a hopeful little smile. “But I just need to ask you to do one thing…” 

“I swear to God, if you say distract the boyfriend…”

“Well, not just the boyfriend and not exactly the boyfriend,” Even said and pulled Isak back into the room where Dex and Chuck were now horizontal on the couch. “Boys, how would you like to entertain a semi-cute queer guy and a super-cute heteroflexible guy?” 

“So Even can be with his stalker,” Isak explained further with a pout, knowing the boys would be on his side.

Dex grabbed Isak’s hand and the next thing he knew, he was between him and Chuck, their hands on Isak’s shoulders, rubbing them somewhat sensually, “Send ‘em our way,” Dex practically purred which—Isak wouldn’t lie—was pretty damn sexy, looking up at Even in a jokingly threatening way. “And enjoy your stalker while we enjoy your husband.” 

“I draw the line where you _actually_ enjoy him,” Even said, leaning down and kissing Isak’s lips much too sensually for the position he was in, making Isak want to follow him all the way out of the room and to this conversation with the stalker. Isak watched him walk over to the doorway, feeling a pang of hope when he turned around that he wouldn’t go. But instead he added, “I mean it, no lips on that man.” 

“Make it back by midnight and we’ll seeee,” Dex said, laughing and running his hand more seriously down Isak’s chest. “Do you workout?” 

23:32  
Kate didn’t exactly want to hear what Even had to say. He should’ve known that getting her drunk and trying to talk about something serious wouldn’t work the way he wanted to. It was infuriating for a number of reasons including the fact that Isak was somewhere at this party cuddling two very good looking guys while he was stuck there—albeit by his own volition—trying to talk sense into someone who didn’t want to hear it. So, about thirty minutes from midnight, he figured he should just talk about things more bluntly. He was drunk, so he was confident enough. 

“When I was younger, I self-medicated too, you know,” He said, twirling his cup in his hand and looking down at it, “Now I drink and stuff much less often often, so now I’m actually kind of a lightweight. This is my, fourth drink in two hours and I am...well, not wasted, but pretty damn drunk. But, I’m drunk and I feel good. Or, better than I did when I was self-medicating.” 

“I am _not_ self-medicating,” She partially slurred back, rolling her eyes and throwing her body against a wall, a movement that Even knew to be pretty satisfying when you’re that drunk. He was almost tempted to throw his body, too, and feel the solidity, the stop, something holding him up nice and sturdy. He didn’t, because he was trying to appear less drunk than he was to keep some sort of authority. He just watched as she rolled her body and then slid her back down the wall. 

“Mhm, that’s what we all say,” Even let out a bitter laugh and then slid down the wall beside her. He held his cup on top of his thighs with both hands and looked at it. He had drunk confidence but he could never really look anyone in the eye when he talked about this. Only Isak. “I was telling everyone I was fine, hiding when I was high or drunk and I even did some pretty serious stuff that we don’t need to get into. It was a really terrible road, actually, and it led to me, well..attempting suicide—which we also won’t get into—and I wouldn’t let anyone help me until I survived. But, if I hadn’t…” 

He went quiet, mostly because he learned a long time ago not to play the _what if?_ game. But she didn’t talk either so the room was just silent besides the beat of a bass from a far off room. Even’s heart was beating hard because he didn’t talk about this often and while it had felt like a good idea in the moment, in this moment now, it felt like it had been a terrible idea to tell a complete stranger about his darkest times. Minutes ticked on and Even knew he had to speak because if anything, he officially needed to get back to Isak. 

“Maybe that’s why I like you so much,” Kate said just as Even had made the mental decision to get up. But he sat still now, slowly turning to look at her to try to understand what she meant. “We’re so similar, we feel a lot of the same feelings. We’re one in the same, Even. It’s a connection that’s really hard to find with other people.” 

“There are plenty of people that’ll relate to it, but you don’t need them to,” Even said, taking her hand and squeezing it. “What you need is to talk to someone about it. A doctor, a therapist, someone who can help you. Then you can connect with more people like you. But someone doesn’t have to be like you to be your soulmate. I mean, Isak and I are alike in so many ways, don’t get me wrong. But, he doesn’t have the slightest idea of what it’s like to be bipolar or manic. Well, he knows what he reads, he knows what he sees. So, mostly he just knows how to be married to someone who’s bipolar. Which is definitely enough.” 

“You love him a lot,” Kate said, sighing and taking the drink out of Even’s hand. Her’s must’ve been gone because she took a huge swig of his and then kept it to herself. 

“I do, yes, and that has nothing to do with you,” Even said, feeling like he should give her the rundown like with Colette. “I’ve known Isak since I was five. Literally no one in this world has ever stood a chance. We grew together and apart and it’s been a beautiful ride that just keeps getting more and more beautiful.” 

“Drunk Even could write romance novels,” Kate said, laughing in the same bitter way Even had earlier. “Novels I will never read because no one will love me ever.” 

“I have a hunch that Jerry’s into you,” Even blabbed, thinking his spilling those beans was a pretty good sign that he needed to get back to Isak. He was drunk enough to start being sloppy. “But I didn’t tell you that.” 

“You didn’t because I’m pretty sure he’s gay for Harry,” She said, looking at Even skeptically, “Aren’t you supposed to have some sort of sensor for that?” 

“I’m going to assume you know not to stereotype like that but I totally do, which is how I know that Harry is into Jerry but not vice-versa,” Even told her, and then stood up, offering her his hand to help her up. She took it and stood, wobbling so Even had to catch her by the hips. She looked up at him and he knew what the moment was to her. She stared intensely at him and her lips twitched upward, begging for a kiss. So, Even pulled back and steadied her, giving her a nice little pat on the arm. “Come on, I’ll prove it. You just have to be near him when the clock strikes midnight and I bet he’ll try to kiss you. If he does, you have to promise to get help. If he doesn’t, I’ll leave all of this alone.”

“Deal.” 

They headed out, back to the room that they left all the boys in. Even hoped it hadn’t led to some orgy. Unless Isak was a ringleader, like a guard sitting on a tower telling them what to do, then it might be hot. But otherwise, he hoped to get back to the room and have Isak fly into his arms because he made it with time to spare. But, when they got back to the room they left them in, it was empty. He looked around and mumbled some curse words under his breath, not knowing this house well enough to know where to find Isak. 

“Relax, I’m sure they’re around,” Kate said, taking his hand and starting to lead him down the hallway. “It’s almost midnight, everyone’s probably together somewhere. Is there a pretty patio, lounge room, common room, something?” 

“All of the above?” Even asked, remembering the tour of the house and the one he took on his own, too. The place was filled with perfect places to kiss at midnight on New Years. “I don’t know.” 

“Even, what the hell are you doing out here,” Taylor—his saving grace—suddenly said from down the hallway, coming towards them and beginning to usher them along, “Come on, everyone’s on the patio with champagne. Don’t make me have to kill you and go find your man, already. Oh, and don’t forget your champagne! Both of you! There’s plenty.”   
*

23:57  
Isak had to admit that he was getting itchy with it being just minutes from midnight and Even being nowhere in sight. He had insisted on staying in that parlor room he’d been hanging out with Dex in to wait for Isak, but everyone pulled him out. They were insisting that if Even didn’t make it back, he shouldn’t be alone. 

He’d much rather be alone if Even wasn’t there. 

But instead, his champagne glass was clenched in his hand while he stood between the two boys whose names fucking rhymed and Dexter and Chuck. There were literally three doors to get to the patio, too, so Isak couldn’t even focus on one to await Even’s return. He just kept looking between the three, ignoring all the twinkly lights and hoping to just see him radiate as he walked through the doors. 

But nothing. 

Until less than five minutes before midnight, when he came crashing into Isak, wrapping his arms around him and kissing his head while Kate joined the group beside them. Isak wanted to be angry with him for cutting it so close, but his cologne smelled nice and his arms were so inviting that Isak just wrapped his arms tightly back around him—probably spilling only a few sips of his champagne down his back. Then when they pulled back, Even smiled at him and ran his hand through his hair and Isak couldn’t help but smile back. Whether it was his drunken state or Even’s affect on him, it didn’t matter, he was there, he made it. 

“I’m the one who’s supposed to be late, you know,” Isak said, cupping his cheek and caressing it a little bit. He felt so good beneath his fingertips. 

“I know,” Even said, kissing his forehead a running a hand to his lower back to hold him closer. “But there’s absolutely no one I’d rather spend the last few minutes of this year with, and then not just the beginning of next year but all of it and all of the years to come.” 

“Buttering me up will get you everywhere,” Isak said, wanting to kiss him right then but knowing to save it for the new year. He pulled back to keep himself from doing it, they had less than a minute and Even didn’t have any champagne. So Isak ran to one of the few refreshment tables lined with it and grabbed two—a fresh one for himself—before racing back to Even. He made it right before everyone started counting down from ten. 

Everyone else counted down, but Isak and Even decided not to, they just looked into each other's eyes, holding their glasses up to cling together when everyone got to one. It was a quick cling and then the two of them basically shot back their champagne so they could set down their glasses and wrap their arms around each other for the first kiss of the new year. 

Everyone else erupted in cheers, popping champagne bottles and lighting firecrackers. If the party had been dwindling down at all, it had just been revived and probably wouldn’t be stopping until the wee hours of the morning. Isak and Even could go into the night too, Isak thought _with their own kind of partying_. 

Even had a champagne tang on his lips and tongue that made him taste especially good. He kissed deeper, holding the back of Even's head and smooshing his face more and more into Even's. It was there first kiss of 2025 and it just felt so right. Isak kissed harder, feeling in his gut that with the twins on the way, this would be their year. 

“Baby,” Even mumbled lightly against his lips, slowly pulling back and ending it far too soon. “There's somewhere I want to take this.” 

Isak didn't question—how could he ever question Even whisking him away?--he just let Even pull him out of the room with all the people and down the currently-deserted hallways while the party went wild on the patio. Isak just studied him dazedly as Even pulled him, enjoying his lines. Enjoying the fact that Even was taking him away from the party to where they could be alone. Which was, honestly, his favorite thing. He’d felt extremely jealous that Kate got to do it and now he got to make up for it.

“Okay, so I did a little private tour of the house earlier,” Even said, taking him up a twisted stairwell. “Because we were here before everyone, because I knew Chuck and Taylor wouldn’t care me marveling at this place. Oh, and because I wanted to find the perfect place for us to have sex in the new year.” 

“Is that so?” Isak giggled drunkenly, letting Even pull him down the hallway and then one, two, three doors to the left before stopping him just outside. 

“Very so,” Even said with a devious little smirk, pressing Isak against the wall with his hips so that their groins were pressing against one another. Isak thought with that smile that Even may have been joking with him, that there was nothing special behind this door, a brick wall maybe—but no. This was definitely the room Even picked. “It’s amazing how we ask and the universe just provides. Or, in this case, we just talked about it once and I thought to myself _how the fuck have we never done this?_ ”

He kissed Isak, pressing his lips hard to his mouth and grinding his hips ever-so slightly, making Isak feel like he was going crazy in a second. There was so much anticipation and yet so much need for Even despite what was behind the door. He moaned pleadingly into Even’s lips, pressing forward, hoping that he would just take him into the room already. He hoped that Even would just bend him over whatever-the-hell he had planned and make him lose his mind for real. 

“Okay, okay, okay,” Even laughed, pulling Isak by the hands and then opening the door to lead him inside. “I honestly thought I was going to have to work harder to get you away because I thought you’d be mad at me.”

“I can hardly be mad that my Husband’s a good person, can I?” Isak asked, shaking his head and looking around the room. It looked big, pretty, and white, but pretty plain for what Even had planned. Unless, of course if what Even had planned was behind the big, pale yellow curtain covering one wall. And, of course, it probably was. He wouldn’t even be surprised If Even ordered in the curtain himself, somehow, for a big dramatic reveal in classic Even style. 

“That’s all I want to be,” Even said, walking over to the curtain with a cheek-to-cheek grin. He grabbed it with two hands like it was a big unveiling, “Well, that, your Husband, and the Father of our Children, of course.” 

“Of course,” Isak said, putting his hand over his mouth to hide his smile. He loved this man way too much.

“Of course,” Even parroted and then gripped onto the curtain and ran across the room to slide it, revealing an entire wall made up with a mirror and a slick ballet bar right in front of it. Even grabbed ahold of the pole, did a little plié, and then smiled wickedly at him again. “Sex in front of a mirror. Only one problem.”

“Is it a sexual problem? Because I can handle that,” Isak said, starting to loosen his tie and walk towards Even. 

“Actually, the door doesn’t lock.” Even said, laughing and walking up to Isak to help him finish taking his tie off. He unbuttoned just a couple buttons, then pressed his palm to Isak’s chest and sighed a little. “But we can always push the dresser in front of it. Like old times.” 

Isak actually kind of loved the fact that they had to circle back to moving furniture in front of a doorway so people couldn’t interrupt them having sex. He happily helped him and then they helped each other undress. First the buttons on their shirts, then their belts and the buttons and zippers on their pants, then the rest basically took itself off. 

“Okay, we’ll start like this,” Even said, pulling away from the kiss and taking Isak’s hands to pull him towards the mirror. Isak had seen Even naked a million times, had been naked around Even a million times, but this felt different. He was looking at both of them, together like that and it looked _so_ good. It felt sort of like shame that they couldn’t just make their own babies. 

“Right hand here,” He instructed, placing Isak’s hand on the barre and then turning him so he was sideways to the mirror. He walked behind him and used gentle fingers between Isak’s thighs, pressing so Isak knew to part them, so he did until Even stopped him and stood up straight to purr into his ear directly, “Now bend over and hold your left leg with your left hand as far down as you can stretch without it hurting. And just relax and let me do my job.”

“And your job is?” Isak asked innocently, though he was bending over into a not-so-innocent position. He did it slowly while Even pulled little packets of lube out of the pockets of his pants. Even was watching and fumbling with it, giving Isak a little smirk and curious—and way too sexy—eyebrow raise. 

“You _know_ what my job is,” He said, tossing the little lube packets at Isaks feet when he came back closer to him. Isak felt the light caress of Even fingertips at the base of his neck before they start to slowly move down his spine. It left goosebumps and sent tingles throughout his entire body. He shuddered. “I promise, you don’t have to stay like this for long, I just really wanted to see you like this.” 

“And if you were anyone else, I’d have said no, but that’s obvious,” Isak giggled, remembering he was drunk when his words didn’t come out right. “I just mean that I can let myself feel exposed around you in like, any way, you know? Also, I feel fucking amazing knowing how much you love it.” 

Even laughed and Isak wiggled his ass just a little bit. Even’s touch got a little heavier on Isak’s lower back and Isak could’ve gone wild over how sexy and how silly they could be all at once. Isak turned his head and looked in the mirror, watching as Even moved to stand behind, marvelling lustfully at his backside as his hand started caressing Isak’s ass. 

The touches were smooth and heavy, relaxing him to his core. He worked from the top of his ass to the bottom, where it was oh-so sensitive. Even knew, and he knew how to work his hands, moving from the bottom of his ass to the tops of his thighs and back a few times over. Isak couldn't help but moan at the sensation, gripping the bar a little harder and curling his toes. 

“Sometimes I wonder if there are just ways I could touch you,” Even said, letting a hand slide between Isak's cheeks. His other hand continuing to work on his left cheek. Isak gasped, forcing his eyes to remain open so he could watch Even in the mirror. Even's eyes were somehow growing more lustful, as if he could just take a bite out of Isak's ass. “Like this, for instance, and just make you cum like you're sixteen again.” 

“Sometimes I think I could,” Isak sighed, wiggling into his touch and letting out an overly dramatic moan. “But I want too much more to let that happen.” 

“Okay, okay,” Even laughed, giving him a slap on his left ass cheek before dropping to his knees. That in itself was satisfying enough for Isak to come, honestly. He groaned, because Even knew what he was doing, and closed his eyes to take a moment to get ahold of himself. Even was getting the lube packets open, laughing at Isak, “I don’t even know how you can be so funny, cute, _and_ sexy all at the same time. You’re a magic man, Isak.” 

“If I’m the Magic Man, I’ll gladly take you as my lovely assistant,” He hummed to Even as Even started kissing the back of his thigh. He was kissing upward, and Isak couldn’t help but spread his legs a little further. His lips were warm and inviting, like home, they sent tingles up and down his spine, made his lower stomach flutter with lust. “Halloween was really just roleplay for us. We were switching roles.” 

“There you go again,” Even hummed and laughed before planting a kiss on Isak’s perineum. This more wet, lingering much longer and Isak thought he might just fall to the ground. He legs even buckled, but Even steadied him, “You don’t have to stretch that much, Baby.” 

“I’ll do what I want, thank you,” Isak managed to say, sounding stronger than he felt. “Now, I’m going to shut up since your mouth is preoccupied and no offense, but that something else feels more important than idle chit-chat.” 

“Idle chit-chat,” Even repeated, laughing because he was just finding Isak so funny tonight. Which, was probably the booze. Or maybe Isak was funny because of the booze? It didn’t matter. Even’s laugh was so adorably sexy, it didn’t _fucking_ matter. Isak watched as he wrapped his arms around Isak’s legs and pressed a cheek to his ass, meeting his eyes in the mirror before pressing his lips into his skin, kissing and sucking on his cheeks tenderly and passionately inward. 

Even moved a hand up, still holding Isak’s right leg, and spread him just a little bit further. Isak, bent down further to help him out, feeling the burning in the back of his legs but knowing the payoff would be so good. Even knew, though, and moved his hand around Isak’s legs to massage those muscles for him as he licked over Isak’s hole. 

Whoever wrote the Bible and said man should not lie with man and whatever they were saying with the story of Sodom and Gomorrah was probably a man who did indeed sleep with a man and felt that pleasure. Like, honestly, Even’s tongue, Even’s fingers, and Even’s dick anywhere near Isak’s ass felt so damn good and feeling that fucking good had to be unholy, somehow. Maybe feeling that good should be a sin, he didn't know. That guy who wrote it was probably wigging off some sort of orgasmic high. 

After a few moments, Even's tongue was prodding, and then his fingers were joining, opening him up generously and agonizingly slow. Isak was moaning and rocking his hips blissfully into it, standing up straighter and straighter. When Isak did that, Even started kissing up his back, his fingers still working their magic as he slowly stood. 

Once they were both standing, Isak's back was pressed flush against Even's chest and Even's fingers were slowing. Isak was breathing heavily, rolling his head back onto Even’s shoulder. He managed to make out a low and grumbled “I want you,” as Even’s fingers stopped completely and slowly slipped out of him. 

“I know,” He said lowly too, his dick pressing in between Isak’s thighs as he let out a guttural moan, making Isak moan with him. “I want you, too.”

“Faaaeen,” Isak whined as Even’s dick grazed his balls as Even grinded into him. It felt good, but was also utter torture because of what Isak really wanted, what Even knew he wanted. Which was why Even took him by the hair and bent him over the ballerina bar, pressing his face to the mirror, and sliding smoothly inside him in one swift motion. 

Isak moaned, gripping onto the bar and closing his eyes as he bottomed out. Even paused there, running a heavy and soothing hand up Isaks back and to his neck, giving it and his shoulders a quick little massage before gently pulling Isak back to his chest. 

That’s when Isak took a look in the mirror. First, he and Even met eyes and then Even smirked wildly and started kissing his neck. Isak watched for a moment and then took a look at himself. His face was flushed and his body was heaving with lust and want. Even’s hands were sliding down his torso and slowly following his V line down to his erect dick. He looked pretty wrecked already, and somehow that was hot, seeing and knowing what Even was doing to him. 

Even started moving his hips and stroking his dick at the same time. Isak watched his hands for a moment, not being able to lie about how nice a site that was; Even holding him, handling him while his mouth went to town on Isak’s neck. Isak began moving with him, moaning and letting their bodies grind on one another. It was slow and sweet and felt maybe heavenly or maybe unholy, he didn’t even know. He turned his head and met his lips with his own, making the kiss follow the lead of everything else. 

Until they were done with that, their desires growing and becoming a little more animalistic as the sex went on. Even started moving faster first with a little grunt of a moan, against Isak’s lips before pulling back getting a grip on Isak’s left shoulder to steady the two of them—his other hand now just massaging the tip of Isak’s dick. Isak helped, because yes, faster, harder, more, deeper, _please_. He bent forward, placing his palms on the mirror and moving his ass more into the thrusts. 

He could have easily just fell face first into the mirror and let Even do all the work with how good it felt. It was an internal massage that radiated through his entire body and intoxicated his head even further. But with the way he was bent he could see part of Even’s chest now, heaving and glistening beautifully, He could see the way his body moved seamlessly in and out of him even with this faster motion. He could see his gorgeous neck outstretched as he tilted his head back. And when he looked in the mirror, he could look his in the eyes and his clenched jaw. 

The whole scene would’ve been orgasmic for Isak even if it had just been a fantasy. Absolutely wet dream material that he’d more than likely be thinking about for weeks.

Even hit all the right places. Their moans hit all the right notes. They went until they were a jagged mess of thrusts, Isak coming on the bar and the mirror and Even coming inside of him. That’s when Isak collapsed into the mirror, his legs feeling weak again. Even helped him across the wooden floor over to the bed in the room, lying him on his stomach. 

“Lay here,” He said gently, kissing the side of Isak’s face when he nodded. “I was prepared so I already have towels for cleanup and everything. Let me just do this, then we can cuddle for a few minutes before rejoining the party.”

“Mmm,” Isak hummed, nodding again and nuzzling the side of his face into the sheets. It wasn’t long before Even was joining him. Isak moved on his side to face him and Even pulled him into his chest. “Love youuu.” 

“I love you, too,” Even said, kissing the top of his head. 

They were lying there for a good twenty minutes before they started slowly getting dressed. Which was still a lot of hugs and sweet kisses while they glowed in their aftermath of that amazing sex. They were kind-of helping each other dress, but more like distracting one another. After about ten minutes, Isak only had boxers and his shirt on, unbuttoned, and Even had on his boxers and his pants.

“You know what leather belts are good for?” Even asked as he picked his up and without looking for an answer, lightly tapped Isak’s ass with it. “Though I suppose I’m the one who’s been bad.” 

“Nei, you haven’t,” Isak laughed a little and turned, trying not to act or move to fast to startle Even as he slowly took the belt from him. He wanted to snatch it from his hands and toss it across the room, suddenly remembering something that made him cringe, something that he prefered to keep buried away and actually had repressed and forgotten for a while. He had truly believed that black eye was from playing catch and accidently being hit with the ball until therapy. “No belts, anyway. That’s like, super BDSM, right?” 

“Hardly,” Even laughed and looked at the belt in Isak’s hand. “You could use it on me like, twice, if you want.” 

“Nei, Even, I don’t want,” Isak said, tossing the belt to the bed now and just wanting to get back to what they were doing without anymore belt talk. “Why are we even talking about this? I know you were just being a nice guy.” 

“Okaaaay,” Even said cautiously and looked at Isak with little worried eyes, “This was all supposed to be part of the happy, playful pillow talk. Did I do something?” 

“Nei.” He knew Even wouldn’t let it go, but he guessed he could prolong the inevitable. 

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Ja.”

“Then what is it, Baby? I thought you liked it when we—” 

“I did, it’s just,” Isak groaned because, honestly, the only reason he kept it from Even was to keep him from blowing a gasket. He just literally never assumed that their relationship would get kinky enough that he’d have to bring it up. “Terje used to chase me around the house with a belt, okay? Not like, spanking, just rapid-fire arm swinging, you know, anywhere he could land. Like that black eye when I was ten…”

“Isak!” Even gasped, shocked, eyes bulging.” You’ve told me more than once, actually, that he never physically touched you,” Even said, his eyes a mix of emotions that Isak couldn’t read fast enough. “That he never physically harmed you, I should say.” 

“The occasions were so few and far inbetween, honestly,” Isak said, sitting back down on the bed and leaning back to look up at the ceiling. They really did have to get dressed and leave before someone went searching and found this locked-by-furniture door. It wasn’t worth getting into right now. “Really, I can count them on one hand. The black eye was the worst it got. I just didn’t want you getting angry about something we can’t change now. Besides, what he did to me mentally was so much worse, and you already knew he did that, so.” 

“This is different. I’m still angry, I don’t care if we can’t change it. He could’ve killed you, you were so small! That no good, motherfucking douchebag, I swear to God, the next time he calls….” 

“You’re not going to do anything,” Isak said, standing back up and starting to get dressed again. “Look at me, I’m fine. Because I got to escape to you and your family, I survived Terje during his worst years and...I hate to say it, but he’s better now. And he never laid an actual hand on me, just that belt. He wasn’t out to kill me. So we shouldn’t dig that up, okay?” 

“As long as you know how much I hate agreeing with you right now,” Even said, getting up to where Isak was dressing and dropping to his knees and kissing around his hips and exposed abdomen. “And also let me make you feel good one more time because I couldn’t protect you then.” 

 

_Saturday, Jan. 4_

Magnus had apparently started seeing someone new, someone slightly less blonde than Vilde, but still blonde, with lighter blue eyes than Vilde, but still blue-and-wide-eyed, with even a similar cheek bone structure. The biggest differences were found in her nose, mouth, and the freckles that dotted her cheeks. Her name was Ina, and apparently he’d been seeing her for two weeks and that day on the phone was the first time he thought he’d mention it. 

And he already had a problem. He already kissed someone else. And by someone else, he meant Vilde. 

“Okay, okay, wait,” Isak said, spun around by the whiplash of news, “I have like, a checklist of things to say. First, this is the first time I’m hearing of somebody other than Vilde in so long and you don’t even tell me until you mess it up by kissing Vilde. Second, There’s obviously a reason you keep going back to her. Third, I don’t think I will ever be able to keep up with you two in the will they or won’t they game. Four, she actually kind of looks like Vilde and I’m a little creeped out and wondering if there’s some illuminati shit going on here. ” 

“Haha, illuminati, very funny Isak, don’t be a child this is a crisis!” Magnus whined dramatically on the other line. “I really like Ina, I do. I even told her that we could do an eye for an eye, like she could kiss someone else too and then we’d move on. But she said it’s different because Vilde’s the _Mother of My Child._ ” 

“Magnus, honestly,” Isak sighed putting a hand over his face and rubbing it. “In a sort-of professional opinion of mine, I think you and Vilde really need to figure out your feelings for each other. You really need to figure this shit out before you mess up your kid because of it. Now, I can’t be your therapist for a number of reasons, and I can’t even remember if you’ve tried seeing one before at this point, but I can refer you to a ton. Because I’m sorry, that’s my only advice. You can’t even give Ina a fair chance at this point, anyway. Figure it out and then if you two are still over with, then see Ina. I honestly can’t give you any other advice that I haven’t already given you in the past.” 

“Yeah...okay,” Magnus huffed, and Isak could tell he was a little annoyed with him. 

“Listen, man, I love you,” Isak told him over the phone, wishing he could be there to give him a hug. He did feel bad, no matter how harsh he was sounding. “I’m really sorry you have all these mixed emotions, you know. I really want you to figure it out. You should talk to Ina, tell her the truth about how messed up you are about Vilde and that you need time to sort. Don’t tell her to like, wait for you, she’d hate that. You have to say something like _If you’re still available when I do figure it out, I’d really like to see you._ Then figure your shit out and talk to her again, good or bad, she’d deserve the truth and not to wait.” 

“Okay, yeah,” Magnus groaned, “You’re right. I do need to figure out my shit with Vilde. Like, she’s my _ex-wife_ and I’m kissing her while in a relationship? Fuck, I’m a mess.” 

“And you’re also a mess because you didn’t tell me about Ina sooner,” Isak tsked, “I could’ve warned you about those unresolved feelings.” 

After he was off the phone with Magnus, something resonated with him. Not about Vilde or Ina or really Magnus. It was just what Magnus said about an eye for an eye. Kissing someone else and then allowing your significant other to do the same. Isak wanted to revisit that with Even. After all, he had kissed Mats and Even had suiters—or, well, Colette and Kate—who would be more than happy to touch their lips to Isak’s Husband’s. 

Alas, Even was out running a few errands for work and Isak was home alone to stew with what it might mean that he would even want to bring up such a thing. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted Even’s answer to be. Maybe his subconscious wanted to test Even or see if there were any feelings for either woman. He didn’t even know what he’d do if Even took him up on it. Probably the same as Even did: wait in dread and anxiety for someone to try to steal his man by pressing new lips to his, giving him a new experience and feelings that felt better than Isak could provide. 

He did some research and sent off a few emails. One of the emails he actually sent off was to Sana. Since she was busy with children and time differences were hard, the two of them decided every now and then that an email was needed, an update, the satisfaction of gossip or mature talk and advice for whoever of the two needed it. 

After it proved so efficient with Sana, he’d offered up emailing to all of his friends. Especially after the contact proved to be hard; there would be text messages unanswered for hours upon hours, so much so that no more than two sentiments would be said between him and his friends in the texts in 24 hours time and there would be missed calls and voicemails galore. None of the guys took him up on the emails, being dudes and non communicative in their way, but Sana and Sonja loved it. 

He hadn’t sent one to Sonja in a while, and he was curious about what she and Jonas had on their plate, what she was thinking of their situation, and maybe if she felt things were different. Isak had a feeling that their relationship had shifted after his last big conversation with Jonas, but he had no way to be sure when he was so far. He liked to think that two of his best friends were finally taking their love for each other seriously, that maybe they could stop all their open relationship crap and start being _real_. 

So, he sent off some emails and then went back to his studies. He really didn’t want to because he was craving FIFA, but he did and tried to be as diligent as possible until Even got home. The thought about an eye for an eye—or rather a kiss for a kiss—only distracted him once or twice before Isak heard the door to their apartment opening and closing and Even’s light footsteps to the living room where Isak was. 

Isak looked up from his laptop and smiled at him, which really was an automatic reaction at this point, and Even smiled back, working his way over to him before plopping down next to him. He took Isak’s laptop away, closing it and setting it on the coffee table before he leaned in and gave Isak a nice, gentle kiss. It was a greeting that Isak gladly welcomed by parting his lips and kissing him back for a few short moments. 

“I missed you,” Isak said lowly as they pulled away, running a hand through Even’s hair and to the back of his neck. He rubbed his thumb up under his jaw. “Two whole hours of my Saturday, ruined. How was it?” 

“It was fine,” Even laughed, reaching his hand up to caress Isak’s cheek. The touches, like the kiss, were gentle, light, loving. “Did you just study for those ruined two hours?” 

“I emailed Sana and Sonja,” Isak said first before casually throwing in “oh, and Magnus called.” 

“Oh yeah? How is he?” Even asked, still smiling lightly as his fingers gently tickled Isak’s side over his t-shirt. He was still in the t-shirt and boxers he threw on to get the breakfast Even ordered him on Postmates, not caring to change into anything worth going out of the apartment in. 

“A mess, as per usual,” Isak said, giving him a nod and a shrug. He moved his own hand to rest on Even’s chest, twisting sideways even further and tucking his feet underneath himself. “He’ll be okay. But, he did say the strangest thing.” 

“And what was that?” 

“He called Vilde his _ex-wife_.” They both cringed a little, Isak leaning in and kissing Even’s jaw gently a few times. “I didn’t even think we were old enough to have friends with ex-wives or ex-husbands, but he’s even sort of seeing someone new. Sort of because he’s already fucked it up by kissing Vilde.” 

“Oh, Mags,” Even said, shaking his head and rubbing his face. 

“He tried to tell her that she could kiss someone else and they could be even,” Isak led slowly, meeting Even’s eyes to see if that sparked anything, but he was clueless. Isak rubbed his arm and then moved to straddle his lap, legs still bent at the knees and looking at him head-on. “It didn’t work, and he’s got shit to figure out, but it did get me thinking a little about a kiss for a kiss.” 

“It got you thinking…” Even said cluelessly, looking at him ever-curiously. As if he’d forgotten about Mats all together. Making Isak think maybe it was best not to bring it up all over again, but he couldn’t just stop now, Even was curious. “Is there someone you want to kiss, or something?” 

“I was more or less asking you that question,” Isak said with a nod, not wanting to have to say the obvious. But he did, very hesitantly, “because, you know, I kissed Mats.” 

“That was more or less supposed to make up for all the people I was with before you, I thought,” Even said, pulling back with a slightly repulsed look on his face—touches remaining affectionate and light. “I mean not really but like to make sure you were sure and that's kind of the same.” 

“Yeah, but we're _married_ , we shouldn't be kissing anyone else,” Isak shrugged and pulled his hand back for a second, running his fingers through his own hair. “And, I did, you know. _And_ both Colette and Kate are really into you and would totally steal a kiss if they could.” 

“Neither of them would even be my choice if I were to take you up on this,” Even shrugged back, taking Isak's hand from his hair and intertwining their fingers together. “Not even because they're not ethical choices, and they so aren't, but because I'm not interested in either of them.” 

“Is there anyone you would take up the offer for?” 

“Mmm, no,” Even said after a few moments then kissed his nose, “there's a super yummy guy named Benji at work, basically intimidatingly so. I suppose he's kissable. But I haven't ever thought about it because he's cute but I'm not into him.” 

“Well at least the answer wasn't because he's straight,” Isak said, laughing a little to hide his jealousy over Mr. Yummy Benji. 

“There's that too,” Even said with another shrug, looking off behind him in thought for a moment before lighting up with an idea, “which is why he's perfect for Colette! Wow, I can't believe I haven't seen that before.” 

“You're always trying to marry off Colette,” Isak said, laughing sand shaking his head, knowing that it was going to be hard to call Even off. He wasn't sure how people who were interested in women felt about a woman who was pregnant, whether or not it was her own child. The idea of creating life inside someone was intrinsically beautiful and Isak could attest to that. But was it sexy? Or was Even trying to set Colette up with men who were off put by the way her body was changing? Even was into women, sure, but he could easily have been blinded by the fact that she was carrying their children. 

“If she's happy and stuff, the babies will be too,” Even explained further, and Isak loved that, he really did, so he just let it all slide. Even could invite Benji and if it was a trainwreck, then so be it. 

 

_Tuesday, Jan. 7_

The Seventh of January was a very happy day. It was day that Eskild, Noora, and Eva were scheduled to visit and Isak was literally buzzing with excitement. Nevermind that it had been so long that he last saw them, but mostly because when they arrived--their plane landing at exactly 19:03, then they had to get their luggage so it was more-or-less around 19:30 that he saw them—he saw just how much better Eva looked in a matter of a half a year. Cancer was weird, people were good, then suddenly bad, then suddenly good, then… Well, you get the cycle. But, now her treatments were over and had been for about a month and a half and she was already looking so good. 

Her cheeks, hell, her body as a whole, looked so much more full. She had more color, more light in her eyes. It made part of Isak's worries for her disappear, though there would always be some worry. He hugged her first, picking her up off of the ground and kissing her cheeks a few million times. 

“Evennnn, control your husband, he's trying to makeout with me,” Eva groaned playfully. She pulled back a little to look at him once he let her down before hugging him tight. He hugged her back tightly once more. 

“He's just got so much love to go around, he can't help himself,” Even explained for Isak as he helped their friends with their bags. “And it's been like six months since he's seen you. Everyone but Eskild should expect a little makeout.” 

“Mm, because I'm to expect full on sex, right?” Eskild said happily as they started walking to get back to the car—Chuck had let them borrow his SUV. “I'm so honored but Jacob and I are trying long distance for the month. I can't screw it up my first day. But for Isak? Oh hell, maybe. Definitely for Even.”

They made their way to the car and loaded up, which was when Isak attacked Noora for her hug and kisses on the cheek. He held her tight and and whispered a little thanks in her ear. He knew it wasn’t all her but he was so thankful of everything she’d done to take care of Eva. It was a private little exchange on the passenger side of the vehicle before they got in. When they pulled back, she gave him a smile and they got in the car without another word. 

Eskild wanted to get out to some clubs immediately. Like, literally that night. He asked a bunch of questions about the clubs they’d been to. He asked about the gay scene and the best gay bars they’d been to. He asked about the craziest locations and if they went down to party at all in Hollywood. He wondered if they could go out and dance into the morning. 

“Noora and I need sleep, so count us way out,” Eva said, rolling her eyes and looking at Eskild. “Are you sure you could even handle going out and _not_ hooking up? You should just stay and catch up with Even and Isak.”

“Yeah, Eskild, don’t you want to know about the guy Isak’s replacing you with?” Even asked playfully, peering over at Isak in the front seat, though Isak actually had no idea what he was talking about. 

“Replacing mwah? Oh no, no, no, impossible,” Eskild said confidently and then looked around for a moment and up at Isak. “Who is he?” 

“His name is Dexter and he and Isak get real nerdy and personal together,” Even said, making Isak feel a little confused. It felt weird that Even was bringing it up, seeing as Isak never once thought twice about the relationship he had with Dex. “He and his boyfriend are cuties, for sure.” 

“Boyfriend?! Oh my God, don’t even tell me you made gay best friends before you could even give me and Jacob a chance for the title?!” Eskild almost yelled in all of his dramatics. “Oh my God, I’ve been stabbed right through the heart, haven’t I? It’s too much pain, I don’t think I’m going to be able to go on.” 

“Eskild, relax.” 

“Just tell me this,” He began, holding out his hand to tell them to pay attention to what he had to say, the dramatics still in full swing. “Did you or did you not double date with them?” 

“Is it my turn to say _oh my god_?” Isak asked, shaking his head and laughing, “Just because we went on a double date doesn’t mean anything. We’ll double date with you and Jacob, too. You’ll see.” 

 

_Thursday, Jan. 9_

They gave the three of them a full day for acclimating, letting them adjust to the new time zone and climate. They both worked on Wednesday but had taken off Thursday and Friday to make a four day weekend to spend time with the their friends. On Thursday, they were scheduled to meet Colette for the first time. 

Colette had explained how excited she was too meet them in the days prior, and seeing as she was their carrier, it felt like a good idea to have her meet their friends without the rest of the crowd. Not that Colette had the habit of being overshadowed by any means. Especially not the way Isak and Even generally presented her. That whole life-bringing pedestal was pretty hard to get over. 

Isak really wanted everyone to love her, which could have been a problem because Isak didn't always like her, per say.. And these three people had been the ones he chose to rant to on those occasions. He felt like he probably could just not like her for a few moments because her cared about her more in the long run. But these people had to like her. She was half their children. If they loved her and they loved Even and Isak, then they already loved the entirety of their family. 

So Even and Isak were a little outwardly nervous when Colette came walking in the door, without a knock but just a sing-song “Hellllo.” 

“Colette!” Even greeted happily, jumping up from where he sat on the couch to give her a hug. Isak felt obligated to get up to, following Even over to her for the introduction. Even smiled when he saw Isak behind him, pulling away from Colette and wrapping his arm around his shoulder. Isak leaned in leisurely, smiling and wrapping an arm around his waist as he looked at his friends in the room. 

“Colette, this is Noora, Eva, and Eskild,” Isak said, pointing to each of them, though she already knew who they were from pictures. He smiled and then motioned to Colette. “You guys, this is Colette.. And if she took off that baggy sweatshirt, you'd see the Bump.”

“It’ll come off in due time,” Colette said with an awkward little laugh before going around the room to formally introduce herself to them personally. She was bright and charismatic as she spoke to them, showering them in compliments and friendly vibes; a perfect angel, really. The same Colette she was when Isak and Even had first met her, too. No curtains pulled back, just yet. 

Their friends were good too. If they did have their qualms about her from Isak’s rants, they showed no signs of them. Eskild was still prying about Dex, asking her about her friends and what they were like nonchalantly—and currently, he was in the other room on the phone with Jacob. But the girls honestly seemed entranced by her, cooing over how she was _glowing_ , loving up on her Baby Bump, which was getting bigger every day.

“Well, we’re almost at five months but not quite yet,” Colette said, putting her hand over Noora’s on her stomach and moving it upward before doing the same to Eva to where she usually felt the movement. “So they’re a little bigger than avocados and the doctor says they’re in the middle of a growth spurt. I swear I’ve gained like four or five inches in like two weeks.” 

“I’d say three inches max, Miss Dramatic,” Even said, chuckling a little and shaking his head. Isak leaned a little more into him as they watched the girls interact with the bump. 

“I’m going to actually start measuring, you’ll see,” Colette said to him before going to back to address the girls. She was basically swimming in the female attention, making Isak wonder if it was ever like this with Mallory and Taylor or if this was some rare occasion. “But, seriously, I’m terrified. Everyone’s been telling me that you get the biggest with your first child and these are _twins_. I’m using cocoa butter so much, I should take up stock in it.

“You shouldn’t even be worrying,” Noora coo’d, gently rubbing the Bump and looking at her with dreamy eyes, making Isak think that Noora might be ready for babies too. Would the two of them ever be getting married? Would they skip that part? Would it be different if Eva hadn’t gotten sick? “You are literally glowing and you look amazing. Is it weird to say that pregnant seems to just be _working_ for you?” 

“It might be,” Eva said with a fond little giggle, moving her hand off Colette’s stomach and caressing Noora’s cheek for a brief moment. It was an exchange that made Isak smile. He knew from accounts from Noora and Eskild that during her treatments, Eva had been less affectionate and sometimes hadn’t wanted to be touched at all. “But weird works on people as beautiful as you.” 

“You guys are totally going to get her wet if you keep getting all touchy right in front of her like that,” Eskild suddenly said, coming back into the room to see the sight. He supposed if you didn’t have to context, the scene might look a little sexual. With Noora and Eva on either side of Colette, leaning across her so that their hands could find each other’s skin. But it had been totally innocent before Eskild said anything. 

“Oh Eskild, we’ve missed you and your crude ways,” Even said with a little laugh, shaking his head as the girls parted just a little. “How’s Jacob?” 

“Beautiful, he told me he’d send me some videos for when I want to get off,” Eskild said nice and low, a little lusty look in his eyes. “Because I just talked him through what sounded like an amazing orgasm and now I just want to see him spread his—”

“Eskild, please, Colette isn’t used to you yet,” Isak cut him off, widening his eyes. 

“What better way to get used to me is there than listening to me talk about my boyfriend’s asshole?” 

 

_Saturday, Jan. 11_  
*  
On Friday, the rest of their American friends met Noora, Eva, and Eskild. That night they had gone out to a club, which was overall a very good time, except Noora and Eva ended up having to leave early because Eva wasn’t feeling well. It was unfortunate, because Noora was having a good time, but even when Eva told her to stay, she insisted that she would go home with her. 

Saturday would be better for the simple fact that they were staying in for a little “house party” in their apartment. That meant that Eva could retire to bed as early as she needed, but Noora could stay up and enjoy herself for longer but still check on her if she needed to. Even thought Noora was a Saint, and she seriously deserved to have a good time for all that she did for Eva. 

So they set the place up for a party, with music, a pong table, and twinkly lights. They invited their friends and let their friends invite a handful of people too, because Eskild always loved more. Even if it wasn’t for hooking up, which Even still couldn’t believe. The fact that Eskild was not only tied down, but also doing long distance for a month was astounding. Jacob had to have been pretty special. Or maybe he just allowed Eskild to be the flirt that he was. Or maybe Eskild wouldn’t be faithful. Even supposed they’d be finding out in due time. 

The party was in full swing, guests everywhere, music loud enough to fill the living room and kitchen. People were dancing, talking, playing pong and Isak had been introducing their Norwegian friends to everyone. Even had barely seen him all night. They played a game of pong together, had a dance or two, but otherwise shared brief kisses in passing as they hosted the party. 

Even figured he’d be spending more time with Isak once Eva went to bed, which couldn’t be that long. But, Even was fine with her taking the time she needed because he was waiting for Benji. He’d invited him kind of last-minute, hoping it wouldn’t be weird because they weren’t so close. But Benji must’ve taken it as some sort of olive branch for friendship because he took him up on the offer and said he’d probably be late, but would definitely stop by. 

Around 23:30, he showed up and the two of them were talking in the kitchen when Isak came into the room. Benji had his back to him but Isak stopped and took him in, anyway, surely astounded. The man had a nice ass, too. Even couldn’t help but smirk and nod with his head to motion him over to the conversation. He smiled back, fixing his hair and walking over. 

“Benji, this is my husband, Isak,” Even said, wrapping his arm around Isak when he came over. “Isak, this is my coworker, Benji.” 

“Nice to meet you,” Isak smiled kindly and then looked up at Even, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if you’ve seen Noora. Eva just went to bed and she wanted me to let her know.” 

“I haven’t but I was just going to go looking for Colette,” Even said with a smile, squeezing Isak a little then pulling back. “So, I’ll look for her too. Be right back, play nice.” 

Even gave Isak a quick kiss on the lips and then headed out of the kitchen. He walked the short ways to their bedroom because he knew that he had given Colette permission to go in their at any time of the night. Since Noora and Eva and Eskild were there, she couldn’t use the guest room like she used to so Even didn’t mind her using theirs if she needed a little rest. It was more likely she was there, so Even would go there for her first, then find Noora—who honestly could’ve already been back in the guest room for all he knew.

The thing was, though, that it ended up being an infuriating two-for-one deal. Because, when he opened the door to his and Isak’s room, there the two of them were. They were on the bed, shirtless, Noora braless. Colette had a hand down Noora’s unbuttoned pants and another hand tweaking her nipple and there were little moans coming from her mouth as they kissed. They hadn’t seemed to hear the door open so Even stepped in and slammed it shut. 

“What the hell?!” He basically screamed as the two of them jumped apart, Noora scrambling to find her shirt to cover her breasts while Colette stood up, frozen in place as she stared at Even, who honestly was kind of heaving in anger. He was kind of drunk, and the sight was kind of hot and it probably would have made him hard if it hadn’t made him so angry. When Noora was finally pulling a shirt over her head—not even hers, one of Isak’s—Even looked over at her and repeated just a little more calmly, “What the hell?”

“Even, I can explain,” Colette said while Noora stammered, blushing redder than he had ever seen her. Even would much rather Noora talk because he wondered how the hell he could do anything like this to Eva, who had already been through so much. “She’s a little tipsy and I..god, I’m so horny, like all the time right now and we only came in to talk because I needed a party break. It just escalated, but it’s my fault.” 

“Colette,” Noora said squeakily, handing her, her shirt so she could stop standing there in her bra. Colette took it and put it on, the two of them staying quiet for another beat. Unexpectedly, Noora’s eyes started watering a little, her voice cracking a little as she tried to find her explanation to _what the hell_. It was obviously true that she was drunk. “I love Eva with all of my heart. Bu-ut...she’s going through a lot and it’s a lot of work. I’ve been here for her a-and I will be. But she hasn’t looked at me, touched me li-ike Colette. I-I didn’t think, I-I didn’t kno-ow we would…” 

She broke out into hysterical sobs like a child who had been caught. Even watched her for a second, feeling like he should console her, but he was mad despite the tears. He looked up at Colette now. Sound and sober, how did she make such a terrible decision as to mess around with a sick girl’s long term girlfriend?

“It’s just, I knew you invited that guy,” Colette said bluntly, not nearly as hysterical, upset, or guilty looking as Noora. “I was in my head about it because guys don’t really like the pregnancy thing. But Noora tells me I’m glowing and beautiful, she appreciates that I’m growing people inside of me. Plus, like I said,” she pointed to herself, blushing now, “super stupid horny. So when things started getting intimate I just coudn’t help myself.”

“What about Eva?” Even asked, shaking his head over and over again. “She’s sick. She’s been through so much and now you’re going to put her through this? She loves you, Noora. Do you even realize how much she loves you? Probably even more now that you’ve been this amazing caretaker. And now, what the fuck!” 

“I’m not going to leave her!” 

“But you’re always going to have cheated on her,” Even kind of growled, not even caring how he was treating either of them in that moment. He looked back and forth at them now, “Get dressed in your own clothes, Eva’s going to bed, you should too, Noora and you should tell her what happened here. And Colette, the least you could do is be polite and come with me to meet Benji.” 

The two of them deflated a little, Colette giving her one last parting glance before heading with Even to the door. Noora kept crying as she looked for her shirt and bra, the two of them leaving her in there. He didn’t know if she’d actually tell Eva about it, but he wouldn’t be afraid to say something if she didn’t. Even though he was already afraid to tell Isak, he would immediately, because he had a feeling this would blow up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small things, big things, who knows things.  
> Thank you for reading and I certainly hope you're enjoying  
> Comments always welcome <3


	16. Human Nature

_Sunday, Jan. 12_

Isak heard Eva crying in the room adjacent to his and Even’s after a few not-so-hushed words were exchanged between the two of them. What Isak could hear was that Noora was sorry, extremely so, she felt stupid, and it was a mistake, but she wasn't sure she wouldn't do it again. Apparently Eva had been distant lately, and while Noora understood, she was starting to feel unappreciated. Eva told her as if she'd said it a million times, “You know I'm trying Noora, you know. You know I love you and you know I appreciate everything you've done. I just want to feel like myself again.” 

What Noora had said after that was much more muffled, Isak didn't hear it. Just the door opening and closing, footsteps, and then Eva's sobs. It made him want to jump up and run in there, ask her what happened, pretending as if he hadn't heard most of the conversation just to catch what had been said in the end. But he laid there, a paralyzing mix of emotion and thoughts washing over him. 

Were they over? They couldn't be, they were Noora and Eva and they'd been apart and they hated it. Even if the cancer hadn't killed Eva, had it killed part of her? Had it killed their relationship? The thoughts stung at first, a piercing want to see them both—okay maybe especially Eva—happy and together stabbed his chest to the bed. 

And what would they do? They had a whole month scheduled to spend with them but how would that even work? They both had virtually nowhere to go except the apartment they shared with Eskild in London. They couldn't just go back there, could they? The thoughts made him angrier now, he gripped onto the sheets beneath him so that his fists wouldn’t leave marks in his palms.

The more he thought about it, the worse it was, especially because who he felt was to blame. While yes, Noora was soberly saying she'd do it again, she had still been plastered when Colette tried to get into her pants. Colette was sober, and yet she still made the tremendously idiotic decision. She could blame hormones and the pregnancy but Isak was pissed, he didn't care about any of that. This was the third time in the short while they'd known her that she'd been into someone else's _someone_. Mallory, Even, now Noora. 

His squirmed, his gut queasy as he started to feel that maybe Colette wasn't a good person. That perhaps she was very _the opposite._ That he and Even had chosen someone to be their surrogate who wanted to uproot everything. The Evil Queen herself could be growing their babies. 

He thanked the universe when Even came into the room and the smell of coffee wafted in with him. He saw Isak laying there, wide awake but perfectly still, then paused when Eva let out another particularly loud sob. He looked back at Isak and frowned, walking over and leaning down beside him. 

“Noora's in the shower,” Even said quietly, setting down the coffee he had prepared for Isak on the nightstand by the bed. His hands ran over Isak's tight muscles, loosening them as if he just knew Isak needed it to be able to move. “How long have you been up? How long have you been listening to this?” 

“Heard their whole fight,” Isak grumbled, the pins releasing and allowing him to turn on his side to look at Even, who was in a white T-shirt and pink boxers, his hair flat and messy from sleep though his face showed no remnants of sleep, bright and pretty as ever. It loosened Isak just a little bit—like a teeny, tiny, little bit. “It’s awful and this all awful. I mean, Colette's a fucking homewrecker. We literally chose a homewrecker to be our surrogate. If that doesn't spell catastrophe…” 

“Isak, she's not a homewrecker,” Even said with an annoyed sigh following it, his face dropping a little. He got up and sat on the edge of the bed, squeezing Isak's thigh, looking a little pensive. So, Isak sat up, waiting on him to explain what she was instead, but he said nothing. 

“She's only attracted to unavailable people,” Isak said, figuring he'd explain himself if Even couldn't. It felt like the topic could make a fight break out, and Isak didn't have Mutta to take Even when he wanted to be away from Isak, but he felt it needed to be said. They'd been blinded by Colette and her situation and goals, she'd seemed perfect, but now Isak knew she wasn't good, maybe not even at all. “Just because she’s pregnant doesn't mean she can only be attracted to people with significant others. It doesn't mean she gets to kiss someone else's girlfriend. Especially when that someone else is sick! She doesn't get a pass for being a bad person just because she's pregnant this time. She needs to fucking do better.” 

“Isak, we have no real idea what it's like to be pregnant just as you have no real idea what it's like to be bipolar,” Even said, getting up and putting his hands on his hips. He looked up to the ceiling and kept his back to Isak. “We can't live it, we don't know and she's doing it for _us_. She acted on an impulse, that doesn't make her terrible. It makes her human. Noora shouldn't have been sniffing around to get laid, either, you know. I mean, I wouldn't do that if you felt the way Eva does.” 

“Okay well, Even, let's follow your logic here and say we don't know what it's like to be Noora or Eva at this point,” Isak said a little more angrily now. Why was he taking Colette's side, still? After seeing what he had seen just the night before. “What it's like to take care of the dying person you love, or to have them reject you after everything you've done for them. What it's like to be that sick and not feel like yourself after it. We don't know! If you're saying Colette had any right then so did Noora.” 

“I swear you're just trying to make this worse because you're still jealous of Colette,” Even turned to look at him now, a mixture on his face of instant regret and also a want to stand his ground. “She's not a bad person.” 

“None of this is because I'm _jealous_ , Even,” Isak said, practically spitting the word ‘jealous.’ He could stand his ground too, easy. “I'm just stating the clear as day facts, here. We need to stop being blinded by her and see her for who she is before she tears everything apart!” 

“You're being dramatic, Isak,” Even said with an eyeroll that infuriated Isak to his core. It was almost noon, but still too early to be this angry, which made Isak even more angry. He jumped up from where he was and walked over to the closet. 

“Fine, then I'm going to be more dramatic,” he pulled on some pants then shoved some things into a duffel. “Eva and I are going out. All day. Into the night. Maybe overnight. I don't know yet. We'll go out and we'll flirt and forget about all of this. You can stay here and bring Noora and Colette together happily ever after just like you want from her. Whatever.” 

“Isak,” Even said as Isak tried to brush past him with the bag to get to the door so he could go get Eva and her things. Even grabbed the bag from him before he could make it out the door. He held it to his side and held Isak's gaze with his own. He was upset. “Leave the bag here. You can come back for it if you decide to stay out.” 

“Fine,” Isak said, feeling the weight of his gaze on his heart, trying to take away Isak’s anger. They were paused there, Isak suddenly realizing that he hadn't so much as gotten a good morning kiss. That sucked. Maybe he shouldn’t have jumped the gun on the fight.

“Are you really going to flirt?” Even finally asked, his eyes still upset, as if he hated watching Isak go. Good. He should have, it was his fault Isak was leaving. But it made Isak pause further, wanting so badly to stand the ground that was no longer below him. 

“Maybe if you can't come up with a good apology by tonight,” Isak managed to shrug, breaking the gaze and looking up and away. Mostly because it was a lie, he probably wouldn't even flirt with another guy if he never got an apology from Even. “Because I'm being serious, not dramatic and not jealous and you're being a jerk.” 

“I think Colette would think you're being a jerk—” 

“You know what, fuck you,” Isak groaned and spun around, walking out their bedroom door and down the hallway. His heart was pounding hard because he hated fighting with Even, it didn't feel right. It didn't feel right saying ‘fuck you’ to him, either. But he seriously had the balls to bring it back to Colette when the fight had moved on to them. As if he would like to give Isak a reason to be jealous. There were basically two Isak's battling within himself. One who wanted to hug and hold Even until it was over and one who just wanted to freeze him over. He raised his hand to knock on Eva's door when Even took his wrist to stop him. “Oh come on, what now?” 

“I just,” Even sighed, his eyes flickering to Isak's lips for a second before leaning in and giving him a kiss. Isak responded instinctively but then pushed back after a few seconds, looking at him for explanation. “I am sorry. Really. I know you're being serious about all of this. I just think you're being too hard on her. I.. I'll let you go but please just rethink the things you're thinking about her. I bet Eva isn't even this mad at her.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Isak sighed and then Even reached across him to knock on the door for him, kissing him on the side of the head for a lingering moment before walking back to their room. Isak watched sadly while Eva told him to come in from behind the door. He sighed again and composed himself then walked in as bright and cheerily as he could. “Okay, you and I are going out today. Just us and it's going to be amazing.” 

~  
*  
Isak was never the one who left, and Even only ever did it because he felt claustrophobic when they were fighting. With that though, Even still didn’t ever want to be gone for long. No matter how upset he was with Isak, he always wanted to come back, to face it, to be with him and figure their shit out. Isak was a little different. He was going out for a number of reasons, some of them good, like helping Eva with whatever was going on now with her and Noora—and Even had tried to get that story from Noora but she wouldn’t even look him in the eyes today, let alone talk to him—and some of the reasons bad, like the fact that he was being spiteful towards Even. 

Even felt like maybe it was a wildcard, but maybe this was how Isak felt whenever Even left with Mutta—or that time Isak sent him off with Mutta before he could leave. He was worried and clammy, hoping Isak was out clearing his thoughts and not doing anything too stupid. Even was trusting enough, though, that he knew Isak wouldn’t do anything to hurt them more than Even calling him dramatic had. Given that, Even just didn’t know what to expect, given. He had just known when he was letting Isak go that he needed to let him do it and trust him, just like Isak had for him in the past.

It was all about trust. 

Plus, Isak hadn't come back for his duffel, which Even took as a good sign at first. Trust was going pretty well, honestly. Isak was doing a lot of posting to his snapchat while they were out—no doubt to rub his good time in Even’s face. They’d gone to lunch, a boardwalk, about a dozen novelty dessert places that Even had wanted to go to, too, and seemed to be having a really good time, despite everything. Even was a mixture of happy and sad every time he opened a snap, thinking to himself that if this was what he’d put Isak through, then he’d never do it again. 

He’d been making that promise to himself for the billionth time when Isak’s snapchat story refreshed and there was more to see. That had been about an hour ago and Even was still fidgeting, waiting for the next one with more anticipation than the rest, almost calling Isak a few times. In that last one they’d been in what had to be a lingerie store, buying skimpy outfits for ridiculous prices. They even looked a little drunk—in public—and it felt like Isak and Even may have switched places for a moment, it felt like Isak had become him, doing outlandish things just because. It made Even worry a little bit more about the stress he was under with school on top of everything. 

“One of you just fucking call one of them, I don’t want to sit in all night long,” Eskild pouted, throwing himself onto the loveseat and sprawling his limbs out over it. Even refreshed his snapchat feed. Nothing yet. “Plus I can’t deal with all of you guys fighting, including the two of you, by the way. God, so he saw your tits, Noora, big deal. Let’s move on.” 

“It’s obviously more than that,” Noora huffed quietly, her cheeks flushing and Even peered up just for a moment to see her nervously pull her legs to her chest where she sat on the couch and then looked down and refreshed his feed again. He’d been trying to give her eye-room because, while he hadn’t cared or thought twice about the parts of her body he’d seen, he wasn’t sure if she was feeling self-conscious about it. 

“More than tits? Even, did you see the vag?!” 

“God, Eskild, no,” Even huffed this time, looking over at Eskild to make sure to give him a look that said knock it off. “Noora’s mad she got caught, I’m made that she’s in a committed relationship and didn’t think twice about her girlfriend. This has nothing to do with her body.” 

“Yes, because we all know how Even and Isak feel about love,” Noora said, tossing a hand out in front of her dramatically before wrapping it back around her legs. “Love means we can’t make drunken mistakes, right Even? Because love makes everything clear, even when your fucking girlfriend almost dies, even when she gets better and doesn’t want you the same way.” 

“I mean, given all of that, it was still a dick move, Noora,” Eskild said with a little shrug—he’d been staying pretty neutral all day given he knew all sides better than anyone else, having been living with them and seeing it all up close. 

“You should talk to her about it if you really think she feels differently about you,” Even said, softening up just a little. He didn’t know all the details between Noora and Eva’s relationship, especially the one that took place in London. “Talking has always been key for Isak and I.” 

He refreshed his phone again, still no update from Isak. 

“I have talked to her about it,” Noora sighed, grabbing a throw pillow and hugging it now. “She says it’s her but she doesn’t say much. It feels like it’s me.” 

“Well did you say that?” Even looked up from his phone again, softening a little more around the edges, and hoping his gaze wouldn’t make her feel self-conscious.. 

“Well, I mean, it’s like...okay no,” She stuttered to find the right excuse, giving up when she couldn’t. “I haven’t.” 

Even was going to tell her that, that was definitely not talking and open communication, but then he refreshed his snapchat and Isak’s story had been added to. Even felt a little dread wash over him this time, not opening it and checking Isak’s location first. They were downtown at a bar. More dread. He went back to the story and clicked it. Poorly recorded music blasted through the living room while blue and white lights shone on the screen. 

First, the camera was pointed at Eva. She was wearing a dark wig with razor straight bangs across her forehead. It was cut into a bob and seemed to match the outfit she had on perfectly. It was a tight black dress that barely covered anything, though fishnets crossed any skin that the dress didn’t. She looked a lot more lively, as if the day out with Isak had been all she needed to put the pep back in her step. Or maybe, of course, it was the guy she was grinding on. 

He was holding his breath when the camera finally turned to Isak. He wasn’t dressed half as erotically as Eva, which was a slight relief. But he still looked good, he was wearing a baby pink, silky looking v-neck that dipped incredibly low and showed off the muscles he had. Though he couldn’t see below his waist from the angle, so he didn’t know what was on his legs, it looked like it was black, that was all he could see—he just hoped it covered everything. 

He was dancing alone, kind of, some predatory males seeming to be edging into the background of his good time and making Even’s stomach dip again. It had him ready to spring into action, and if there was ever a time, it was then. It was more than likely that they planned on being at that club for a while, and if not at that club then in the general vicinity. He wasn't prepared to go to a club, and a look around the room said no one else was either. Eskild was the only one who could pass as in club attire, but he'd definitely argue that his off-one-shoulder neckline wasn't enough if Even brought it up. 

Even didn't want to get ready and he didn't want to wait for either of them to get ready. He sat up and tried not to look too alarmed. “Alright, let's go get them, now.” 

“Do you even know where they are?” Eskild asked with a brow raise, though he was sitting up in excitement at the prospect of going out. “Like, what should I wear?” 

“What you're wearing is fine, you look great,” Even told him, giving him a nod then looking at Noora. In all honesty, she didn't look her best, he'd seen her with a lot more light behind her eyes and well thought out outfits topped with bright or dark lipstick. She was still pretty without the makeup and in the too-long sweater dress—that looked just a little bit more like PJs than anything—she had on, though. “Both of you.” 

“Oh hell no, if you're saying _she_ looks good enough then I doubt either of us do,” Eskild said popping up and reaching out for Noora. “Come on, let's get you sexy to win back your girl.” 

“Guys, we don't have a long time,” Even groaned. He wanted to get out of there, he missed Isak. He wanted to hold him and yell at him and spoon him and scold him for going out and being so sexy. “Seriously, I'm giving you the time it takes for the Uber to get here or I'm leaving your asses.” 

“You underestimate me, Even,” Eskild smirked, tapping his fingers together and looking at Even. “Fix your hair and I'll grab a super cute jacket for you since your not changing.” 

The Uber only gave them a max of thirteen minutes, but Eskild was right, Even underestimated him. Even had splashed his own face and slicked his hair back in his usual James Dean way that looked nice but in his white tee and ripped skinny blue jeans, he still paled in comparison to the two of them when they walked out if the guest room eleven minutes later. Noora had fixed the sweater dress with a belt, added socks up to her mid-thighs, and dawned a signature red shade of lipstick. Eskild traded his jeans for leather pants, pulled his shirt further down his shoulder, almost revealing his nipple. He had artfully gave himself sparkling freckles galore and lined his eyes with dark liner. 

“Here, there's a rainbow painted on the back but it totally goes with your overall vibe, otherwise,” Eskild said, giving him a black leather jacket. “And I know you probably have a leather jacket but this one is better and I promise it's guaranteed to make Isak swoon.” 

“Alright,” Even put it on then hurded them out to the Uber. He sat in the front and refreshed his Snapchat over and over, wanting to make sure he kept a close tab on Isak especially now that they were on the move. The only other update was when they were about five minutes from the club. This time Isak and Eva were grinding on each other, facing each other while some guy grinded into Eva's backside. Of course, it felt like he wasn't just lusting after her with the way he seemed to be looking at Isak too. It made Even itch and wonder where this guys hands were for the final five minutes of the ride. 

When they finally got ot the club, Even thanked the Uber driver as kindly as he could and rushed to the club. There was a line, and it wasn’t long but it was frustrating enough. He just hoped the handful of people in front of them all had real IDs while he tapped his foot impatiently. Once the three of them were inside, though, it was basically like his Isak senses were tingling. Even knew Isak was on the dance floor somewhere so he made his way that way first, using his height to his advantage to try to spot out his man. The lights jumped around, flashing colors on people’s faces and assisting him in a way that made it hard for Even not to believe the universe was on their side for the night. 

Even spotted Isak within minutes of getting in the doors, leading Noora and Eskild through the crowd as he did. They almost lost Eskild on the way to dancing boys in the crowd, but apparently his want to see how this drama was resolved was more than his want to flirt and grind and work guys up just to shoot them down. 

Isak’s back was to them, and as he cleared the crowd, he couldn’t help but notice the pants he was wearing. Even had been hoping that the lingerie store hadn’t end in Isak buying something so skimpy, but there it was. He was completely covered, but his ass was still accentuated so that his eyes went there first. The pants were literally assless, but that pink silk shirt must’ve been a sort of onesie, because it was delicately covering the exposed area in a way that teased anyone who dared to look. Even basically stared his entire way over.

Eva’s eyes were somewhere on the floor as they danced, so neither of them saw the three of them coming. The guy grinding on Eva had looked up from peering down at her chest to see them for a moment, but since he didn’t know them, there was no alarm and his gaze slipped right back down. The poor guy really wasn’t doing—much of, anyway—anything wrong, but Even still wanted to hit him when he noticed his hands. He was grinding on Eva, but he was really holding them both. One hand was daring to slip between where Isak and Eva’s hips were grinding, his other literally right above Isak’s ass. 

“Isak and Eva would be a hot couple,” Eskild mumbled, making both Noora and Even elbow him. He called out, “Hey! Just saying. They’re hot. But Isak’s obviously gay though soooooooo.” 

Eva must’ve heard that because her eyes shot up, catching the three of them immediately. As soon as she registered who they were, her eyes flashed a few unreadable emotions. Isak started to turn to see what she was looking at when Even closed the distance and grabbed his arm to spin him completely. He looked down at him and breathed a tiny sigh of relief over just having him in his arms again. 

Isak was wide eyed, but with relief, not shock. Even had been on and off about this idea of either chasing him or leaving him be all day, and just for a second, he thought Isak had been waiting for Even to find him all day long. They held each other’s gazes for a long moment, Isak obviously fighting a drunken slew of emotions, his stubbornness trying to overcome them all. 

“This isn’t our fight,” Even finally said, looking up from him and around at the group. Eskild had sauntered over to Grinding Man, and they were chatting with little smirks, and Noora and Eva were just hugging. A tight embrace that made little to no sense with the context, but Even didn’t care, he nodded at Eskild and started pulling Isak away. 

“It is when you say that my feelings have to do with my jealousy,” Isak finally said when they were semi-alone, leaning up against a pillar in the far corner of the room. Even was getting a better feel of him now, he was definitely drunk, definitely feeling vulnerable there in front of Even. “The only reason I’d be jealous would be if either of you gave me a reason to, and you haven’t, have you?” 

“No, Isak, of course not,” There were suddenly tears brimming in Isak’s eyes and Even felt awful. Isak had been having a good time today, giving Eva a good time, and Even stepped in and ruined it in minutes. But, he felt like he was suddenly getting it. He cupped Isak’s cheek and stroked it with his thumb, trying to tell Isak with his eyes and his touch how much he meant to Even. “Just because Noora let all that happen, doesn’t mean I would. I would have thought you knew that.” 

“I did, I do,” Isak sniffled a little and shuffled underneath his touch, his hands hesitating to find a good place to touch Even. As if there was a perfect place to touch with how he was feeling right then, but he couldn’t find it, so one hand dropped to his side and the other gently touched the back of Even’s hand that was cupping his cheek. “But what upset me about Noora and Colette had nothing to do with any of this until you said I was jealous. If we jumped into this, if we picked Colette without trying out anyone else, and we find out that she really isn’t a good person? I mean, first she’s perfect, then we notice these quirks, then she’s destroying relationships and then what’s next? It could be robbing banks, it could be killing people! We don’t know, _Even_.”

He started crying and shaking, his breathing getting shallow and quick. He grasped for Even and almost collapsed straight to the floor, but Even grabbed him and helped him down to the ground gently instead. He was coo’ing and shh’ing him, running his hands through his hair and helping him control his breathing. Isak tucked his head between his knees and Even moved to sit beside him instead, wrapping an arm around his back and letting the other stroke his shin gently. 

“We should talk about this when you’re feeling a little better,” Even said when Isak eventually started calming down. There had been people pausing and staring if they got a peak at them behind the pillar, but Even had ignored them all throughout, hoping they’d get the idea to leave them alone. “I’m so sorry I came here and ruined your night. I didn’t realize how anxious you were about all of this. Kind of fucking up my perfect husband reputation.” 

“I’m so happy you came,” Isak said, lifting his head and wiping his eyes. “Can we just go home and never fight ever again?” 

“I wish I could promise that.” Even sighed a little and kissed his temple. “The fights are nothing, though. We get through it almost too easy. I promise to keep being open with you about everything, though. More talking means less fighting, right?” 

“As long you aren’t a dick and tell me I’m overdramatic when I have legitimate feelings,” Isak told him, pulling him closer and nuzzling his head into Even’s chest. “Even if they are dramatic…” 

“They’re legitimate, I know,” Even sighed, wishing he could take that back after watching Isak break down. “I was just being stupid and dramatic and not listening as much as I should have been. I _was_ a dick. Can I start to make it up to you by getting you out of here?”

“Please.”

“And when, oh when will we be talking about these assless pants of yours?” Even cocked an eyebrow as he pulled back to take out his phone to order them an Uber. 

“Oh, God, I forgot. Don’t be mad,” Isak put a hand on his face as if he were embarrassed, “It was Eva’s idea and everything’s covered.”  
*

_Tuesday, Jan. 14_

Even had begged Isak to take Monday off, but he had refused. He had just had a four day weekend, he couldn’t extend it, even if he had an anxiety attack the night before and a hangover the day of. But, on Tuesday, he realized he probably should’ve. That was because, basically, since he was a shell the day before, Harper planned a tiny intervention for him at lunch, inviting Dex to come join them during their break to talk to Isak about everything that was going on. 

Honestly, he spilled like a volcano fucking erupting prematurely. About Noora and Eva and Eskild occupying their living space and how closed it suddenly felt, about Noora and Colette’s hookup, about Even and him fighting for the first time in awhile, about missing his friends like Magnus and hating not being there for him in his time of need, and finally about falling behind in school. 

“Well, how are you going to do all of this and school?” Dex asked after Isak spilled everything to them over Chinese food. 

“I’m just buckling down, I don’t know,” Isak said with a little shrug, his plan was more time, more hours trapping himself in his room to get shit done while his entire apartment had an amazing time around him. It was really the only way. “More time doing what I should, less time having fun?”

“Why do I feel like _having fun_ is code for having sex with Even?” Dex asked, raising his eyebrow and then shaking his head as if he didn’t want to know the answer for real. “You know, I’m like an actual pro at research. How do you feel about a study-buddy?” 

“A study-buddy wouldn’t be bad, but then I’d have to ask Harper first,” Isak said, looking up from his food and at Dex with a sincerely apologetic look, “Only because she knows the subject and material, it’d make more sense.” 

“That’s true, you wouldn’t know anything, it could slow him down,” Harper sighed and looked at him, “But honestly the only thing I could provide you is working along beside you at this point. I’ve gotta buckle down, too. Even though another semester as a resident woundn’t be so bad… anyway, I can’t. Maybe you can get a tutor through the school.” 

“Honestly, it’s all pointless because I’m studying in Norwegian,” Isak groaned and threw his head back. 

“Dude, I swear, I can still help,” Dex said, nodding happily, “Seriously, I have a knack for languages and since we met you guys, I’ve been studying. I don’t need to know the exact science of it all, just the keywords to look out for, trust.” 

“I mean, the worst that could happen is it crashes and burns,” Harper said, looking up at Isak, “And you lose some time.” 

“You sound concerned,” Isak joked, rolling his eyes at her nonchalance about his hectic life. 

“Well, you know I am a little worried about all the stress you’ve put yourself under, but for some reason, I feel like if anyone can do it, you can,” Harper shrugged, offering him a smile this time. “And Maybe Dex can help you and then you can both become like, international scientists with all your knowledge and languages.” 

“We’ll co-write a book in both languages,” Isak said, nodding and toying with the future possibility. “Alright Dex, let’s start with one study slash research session on Thursday. If it works out, we can figure out a regular schedule, but probably let’s just focus on the one. After work so like maybe around eighteen-I mean six pm?” 

“It’s a study date,” Dex winked jokingly, “You’re going to be amazed at my impressive abilities, just you wait.” 

 

_Thursday, Jan. 16._

Isak was pretty excited for a Thursday study session with Dex. He was a nice guy and one of the nerdiest people he’d ever met, though he never came off that way. He was always outwardly outrageous, flirty, and over-the-top—kind of like Eskild—but as Isak got to know him, he realized how much of a front it was. Dex was the nerdy gay guy growing up, tormented and bullied on all fronts, not even being able to stand as some lame “gay best friend” role until he took on his persona. 

It was who he was now, but Isak wondered what it would have been like to meet him before. It was too bad he hadn’t had an Even in his life to throw off the bullies like Isak had. 

He was still Dexter, it was what made him the Dexter he was then. But what also made him Dexter was the side that Isak was starting to get to see more of, and the nerd who itched to learn and talk science—in any language!!!—was pretty damn cool in Isak’s eyes. Even Chuck admitted that the nerdy side was the side he fell for. 

Isak was mostly excited because he hadn’t studied with someone who liked science so much since Sana—and since she had Ivar, those study sessions happened less and less and were basically nonexistent at this point. He just hoped that Dex learned enough Norwegian to actually help him. But, honestly, even if he didn’t, there was still a bonus of working with him. Dex asking what words meant in Norwegian might’ve been exactly what Isak needed to get a grip on some of the English terms he was still struggling with for his residency. 

He knew when he walked in their apartment that Colette, Eskild, and Even would be somewhere within, hanging out. Noora and Eva were spending a few nights away in a hotel, promising to be back by the weekend after they (hopefully) worked out their shit. Which was fine by Isak, as long as they weren’t breaking up or fighting constantly under his roof. So, Even had invited Colette over, though they had no idea how they’d handle it when the three girls needed to be in the same room together again. 

He’d asked Dex to come over as soon as he got out of work, sending him a text on his Uber ride over. He hadn’t told Even yet, but he knew it wouldn’t be a problem, after all, it was studying and that was important. Not to mention that it was Dex and he wouldn’t cause any sort of inconvenience, unlike Even inviting Kate to New Year’s. 

“Honey, I’m home,” Isak said as he walked through the door, spotting Even in the fridge, so he walked over to him and poked his side. “Trying to decide what to make for dinner? Add an extra serving.” 

“Huh?” Even asked, slightly confused but smiling as he stood and looked at Isak. He gave Isak a kiss and grabbed onto his sides, giving them a little squeeze. “Did you invite over Harper?”

“Not Harper, Dex,” Isak explained, reaching up on his toes and giving him another little kiss before pulling away. He sauntered over to the table and set down his bag, looking at the table and figuring it’d be the best place for them to study. “I agreed to let him help me with my research. I figured I need something to help me get back ahead of the game. So, when he offered, I said sure.” 

“Oh?” Even asked, his voice pensive, so Isak turned, catching his brow raised. “What does Dex even know about psychology and all of that stuff? I thought he was a stars and space kind of scientist?” 

“I mean, it’s all fascinating,” Isak shrugged a little looking at Even and not sure how to read his pensiveness in the moment. “I’m a psychologist but you know I love stars and space stuff too.”

“Yeah? But this is your Masters and he doesn’t know shit,” Even seemed a little angry now—just barely on the surface but just enough to make Isak think that he should’ve told Even sooner. He just hadn’t expected this kind of reaction. “And isn’t all of your stuff in Norwegian? How will he keep up with anything?” 

“He’s been studying Norwegian,” Isak defended, not even sure why he had to defend himself or Dex anyway, but doing it. “And he’s a really good researcher, I’m going to give him keywords and topics, he’ll get me quotes and summaries and we’ll cover more material faster..” 

“Um, what the fuck, Isak? You do realize I could do that?” Even said, more angrily now, but also looking a little offended. 

“Relax, Even,” Isak rolled his eyes a little, pulling his laptop out of his bag and looking back at him. “It’s not like I picked him _over_ you. He offered so I took him up on it, it’s no big deal. Besides, you know that you and I sometimes take a while getting down to business.” 

“We always get it done, though,” Even said with a little whine, walking over and pushing Isak’s bag aside so that he’d pay attention to him, instead. 

“Yes, by losing nights and nights of sleep, mind you,” Isak said, looking at him and wondering why the hell this had to be anything right now. “Dex and I will be strictly business so we’ll be able to get it done faster, I think.” 

“Strictly business, I’ve heard that before,” Even was the one to roll his eyes now and Isak finally felt a reciprocated bit of anger starting to bubble up in his stomach. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Isak asked a little loudly, wondering for a brief second how close Colette and Eskild were. They could’ve been, and more likely were, trying to listen in on them and Isak was about to make it a lot easier for them. 

“Well the last time you spent large amounts of time studying with a work associate, you fell for him,” Even said as if he’d been thinking about it for weeks, flying out of his mouth with ease. He was getting loud too. And then suddenly everything clicked together for Isak. Even bringing up Dex specifically to Eskild, Even projecting his jealousy onto Isak by calling _him_ jealous of Colette when jealousy had nothing to do with his anger. 

“You’re jealous...of Dex?” Isak cringed a little and shook his head. It was officially another fight, and this time Isak wouldn’t forgive so easy. “Because of what I’d consider to be _ancient history_?” 

“I wouldn’t necessarily call something you brought up like a week ago _ancient history_ ,” He changed his voice to mock Isak with the last two words and then shook his head. “I mean, obviously it’s on your mind if you’re thinking about it, and why?” 

“I told you! Because of what Magnus said, I thought of it for you,” Isak groaned. “I was thinking of you, so don’t even turn that on me wanting to repeat the situation or some shit. Nuh-uh. You’re pissing me off so much right now, Even. Why the fuck are you being like this?”

Isak knew why. It was because he had been thinking about this for the last month in his head. He let whatever he was feeling about Isak’s relationship with Dex brew in the back of his mind instead of talking to Isak about them. It was driving him a little out of his mind. He just wanted Even to admit it, to talk before Isak got really angry. That they were only fighting because of his inability to talk to him like he always fucking promised. 

“Well? Are you going to ask if it’s because I’m manic, then?” Even asked, looking at Isak as if he were disappointed in him. “Because it’s not. It’s because you’re getting closer to him and I don’t know what you’re fucking end goal is here? An affair?” 

“What do you even mean my end goal?” Isak shook his head. “Jesus, Even, you’ve built this up so far in your head that you _actually_ think something could be happening right now. Or starting to happen by my own free will, but the thing is that it’s a literal friendship and nothing more and if you had just goddamned talked to me about this, then you would know that!” 

“You’re making me sound like I’m crazy.” 

“I’m not saying you’re crazy, I’m saying you’re in your head and you have an active imagination as is,” Isak sighed, taking a deep breath and trying to calm his anger, but it was hard in the moment. Isak was stressed and here Even was being a dick days after the last time he’d said something stupid and dick-ish. “You literally just promised me like four days ago to be more open with me and then you don’t talk to me about this. I could have fucking told you that it was all in your head then, and then we wouldn’t be here. I swear, when it comes to jealousy, you never learn. We never fuc—” 

“Sorry to interrupt but at first I felt like a child again with Mommy and Daddy fighting in the next room,” Colette suddenly cut in, walking into the kitchen confidently. “Then I realized that that’s kind of exactly what this is. I am holding your babies, after all and they are definitely starting to hear things so I thought I’d tell you to stop fucking up before you could start fucking up for real.” 

“We’re just...having a discussion,” Isak sighed, waving her off. He was still pretty mad at her, and thought maybe he should talk to her at some point, too. 

“Bull shit,” Colette shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. “Now, listen, I picked you guys because it seemed like I’d be sending a baby off into a happy family. I hate the idea of you being stupid enough to let them hear you fight. I don’t even care how often it is. Hearing this stuff is fucked up even for me! I mean, jesus, you’re like, even more stable than Taylor and Mallory, and yet you’re being so stupid in here. Now, calm the hell down.” 

There was a knock on the door and Isak knew it was Dex. It felt like the worst timing ever. He looked up at Even and couldn’t help but frown a little. God, Even was being stupid and not open but he was still sad that Isak was mad at him. Maybe because he knew he fucked up. 

“Talk about it before bed?” Isak finally breathed, trying to release the remaining anger but still feeling a little bubble, so he walked up to Even and gave him a kiss. He kissed back slowly, as if it were a trap, but then they kissed for a few good moments before Isak pulled away and looked at him, waiting for his answer. 

“Yes, before bed, I’m sorry,” Even choked, looking like he was about to cry and making Isak think that maybe this could be an episode. But more than likely it was just one of his tiny mood swings that came around every so often. Isak could handle those just fine. 

“Me too,” Isak kissed his cheek again and then turned to go invite Dex in. 

*  
Everything was pretty normal after Colette had barged into their fight, but Even was pretty sure Isak was just putting on an act for everyone. Even had really pissed him off and he really didn’t even know why he did it. Yeah, he’d definitely been jealous about the way Dex and Isak’s relationship had been progressing, but he’d thought he had it under control. He’d just lost it, worrying even himself. 

Colette and Dex left at the same time around 20:00, Dex needing to get back to Chuck and Colette having to be up early in the morning for work. Even wondered if she’d go back to her place or crash at Mallory and Taylors since she couldn’t crash with them for the month and didn’t particularly like being alone. After they left Eskild had returned from a secret outing. Even and Isak stayed up with him for a little bit then dismissed themselves to their room with the excuse of being extra tired that night. They wished Eskild a good night and then went off quietly, undressing to their boxers and then climbing in bed to sit beside one another. 

“I just don’t get why we always say we’ll talk,” Isak said, his voice agitated, yet soft, “Why you _just said_ you’d be more open and that, once again, you weren’t. I hate going in circles. I hate knowing you’ve been brewing with something for God knows how long. I mean, am I allowed to hope that it’s a manic episode instead of all that?”

“It’s not, you’re right, I’ve been sitting on this,” Even sighed, looking up at the ceiling and then slowly over to him. He was nervous because Isak was right and he knew it in his gut that he should’ve just fucking said something. He was afraid Isak was thinking that he’d never learn, maybe he’d start to realize he was a lost cause. “But I thought I had it under control until today.”

“Even if you have it under control, you should still say something,” Isak said, finally turning his head to look back at Even. “I mean, if I actually had a crush on the guy and I thought it was under control, I’d still tell you because I’ve learned from everything that happened. I don’t even know why or how you could be jealous because that’s how little I know about what’s currently going on in your head and I hate that.”

“You two had already started getting close when I realized I was jealous,” Even said, not really knowing where to start but knowing that he wanted Isak to know what was going on in his head. “I actually was pretty excited about your friendship because I want you to have friends out here like you do back home. But, I don’t know, the better he knows you, the more touchy he seems to get.” 

“Once again, if you had a problem with his touchiness, you could’ve told me,” Isak said, features too hard and set for his pretty face. “I could’ve put an end to it.” 

“I know, I should have told you everything,” Even swallowed hard, wanting nothing more than to lighten Isak’s mood. “But, even with the touchiness, I thought I had it handled. I just snapped today. And, I know, I know, it shouldn’t have gotten to the point of breaking, I’m sorry. It’s all been so stupid, I’ve been stupid these past couple weeks. I promise I can do better, I promise I can be more open.” 

“I don’t want you to promise me that if you’re not going to follow through,” Isak huffed, looking away and crossing his arms across his chest. “I’m tired of it, I’m tired of this.” 

“I know you are, I know, I’m so sorry, Isak,” Even felt tears in his eyes and a lump form in his throat. It’d taken forever, but maybe Isak’s love-goggles were off and he was seeing how awful Even could really be. “Please, don’t give up on me, Isak. I’ll do anything if you just stick it out with me. I can be better, I know it.” 

“Even…” Isak’s hard features finally dropped and he climbed over Even to straddle him. Isak looked at him head on and put a hand on the back of his neck, the other reaching up to wipe some tears. “Even, I would _never_ give up on you. I could never. I just want you to talk to me and I know everything going on inside your head has always been difficult for you but you need to talk to me about it all or we’re always going to be getting upset like this. And I know we both hate this.” 

“Would you really tell me if you had a crush?” Even found himself asking, it feeling important for the moment. 

“Yes, right away,” Isak nodded a little, a hand dropping to his chest. “I want to tell you everything, even if I think I’m doing something wrong, I want to let you know. And, I’m still learning it, too. I slip up, too. But I want us both to do our best and not promise to if we’re not even going to try.” 

“Then I’ll promise to do my best,” Even nodded and sniffled a little, putting his hands on Isak’s hips and looking at him with all the sincerity he had. “And, with that being said...remember when I promised you that I would tell you if I thought I was having an episode?” Isak nodded, his hand squeezing the back of Even’s neck for support, probably knowing where this was going but prepared to let Even tell him. “I don’t think I am, but I don’t know. I didn’t know last time. I just need you to know so you can help me stay level. I don’t want to be like that here. Not in front of our friends here.” 

“I will help however I can,” Isak said, leaning in an pressing a gentle kiss to Even’s lips. When he pulled away, he left his forehead against Even’s. “I love you, so much. So, now that you’ve apologized, what do you want me to do about Dex? Is there anything that’ll help with the jealousy? Because, I have to say, he covered way more than I thought, I think it’d be a good idea to keep studying together as long as he’s willing to help.” 

“Don’t do anything but tell me I’m a moron for thinking anything happened,” Even sighed, hating himself for the jealousy because it really was good that Isak was making a friend. He knew how much he missed his friends from home and it was just good. Great, even. Even didn’t need to be stupid and get in the way of it because he prefered being Isak’s everything. 

“You may be a moron, but your my beautifully _jealous_ moron,” Isak said with a smile, running his hand down Even’s chest. “Now, let’s just say it again before we get to the make up sex portion of the fight: We’re going to try harder to be open because, seriously, I don’t want to be yelling at you for not telling me things every other day for the rest of our lives, okay?” 

“I’m going to be more open, or I’m going to do my best,” Even nodded, looking at Isak and feeling so lucky that he had a husband so understanding. Someone who listened to him and trusted him to do his best every time. One who didn’t stray even when Even did from his promises. “I love you so much, Isak. I don’t know how I got so lucky.” 

“I wonder the same about myself every day,” Isak smiled and leaned in again, his kiss carrying a little more meaning this time. He put both his hands on Even’s shoulders now, letting them sit there for just a few moments before he gently dragged his fingernails down his chest. He pulled back a smiled a little more wildly now. “Even when we’re fighting.”

“Fuck, you’re sexy,” Even bit his lip and look Isak over. His curls growing out a little more than usual, his eyes wild with love and lust, his beard that he only grew in so fully when he was stressed but accentuated his prominent jaw in a beautiful way, and his body that was sculpted just perfectly. “Like you were made just for me.”

“More like we were made for each other, silly,” Isak told him, batting his eyelashes at Even as his thumbs slipped into Even’s boxers and he started wiggling them down. Isak moved back in his lap just a little, taking the boxers down just far enough to free Even’s dick. It was half-hard, but not for long. Isak licked his hand and then took it in his hand. “Like this? Made for my ass.” 

“I couldn’t help but notice that, myself,” Even managed to say as Isak started stroking him. It felt so good, a tension in his stomach releasing with every stroke. At dinner, he hadn’t been sure that they’d get to this point tonight, but he was glad they did. 

Even held onto the sheets below him as Isak leaned forward, starting to kiss below his ribs before working his way down. Nothing was slow, but it still felt so sweet, finally separating them from the bitter. Before Even could even comprehend the pleasure, Isak was bobbing his head up and down on his dick, sending waves of pleasure up his body and making him forget the awful fight if just for a moment. 

Feeling himself slip in and out of the back of Isak’s throat always drove Even wild. The wet warmth and Isak’s nimble tongue could send him over the edge if he allowed it. Even let his eyes flutter closed and enjoyed the feeling while it lasted, only allowing the littlest moans escape from his mouth. If he were Isak, he’d be eventually pleading for more, but Even could allow it until Isak’s jaw was locked and sore. 

“Baby,” Even moaned anyway, not exactly wanting to allow Isak to get to that point, though he knew he gladly would for Even. So he reached down and gripped onto Isak’s messy locks, guiding him off and lifting his head to look at him. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes a little watery and God, it wasn’t a lie, “I want you. All of you.” 

“Good, me too,” Isak said a little hoarsely, clearing his throat as Even grabbed the lube. Isak took it from his hand and squirted a generous amount in his own hand. He smirked a little to himself and started lathering the lube onto Even’s dick before spreading his legs a little further and reaching behind himself. He put his free hand on his neck and tilted his head back, moaning out and running the hand slowly down his body in a show that did nothing but make Even’s mouth water profusely. 

“Isak, let me,” Even panted, reaching out to grab Isak’s hips again to pull him in. But, Isak held his ground where he was, letting out a low growl of a moan. He moved fast from there, though, moving himself up Even’s body and leaning down to press Even’s shoulders back to the bed. 

“Mmm, I’m good,” Isak told him lowly, smirking as he lowered his backside. He let one hand go of Even’s shoulder and reached back, spreading himself as Even’s dick met his ass. He hadn’t worked very hard to open himself up, so he sat slow, taking Even’s tip a very little at a time. Once he was past Even’s tip, he sat up straight, taking him in faster until Even was completely inside of him. “Oh Ev, Baaaaby.” 

“Faaeen, Isak, you feel so good,” Even moaned out, watching as Isak tilted his head back again, his eyes fluttering shut before starting to slowly move his hips. Even’s hands found his thighs and he gripped onto him, staring up at his beautiful husband as he started bouncing freely. Even met each bounce with his own like rock of his hips, scratching down Isak’s thighs as he did.

Even felt overcome with the good feeling. Once Isak’s thighs were nicely scratched, he gripped Isak’s hips and guided him the best he could manage. But, mostly he was just losing himself to Isak and the good feeling. Isak was losing himself too, having placed a hand on Even’s chest to sturdy himself as he bounced harder, with more precision. Even moaned out, watching as Isak’s eyes rolled closed, letting out the littlest little squeeks of pleasure as he did. 

“Oh, Isak, I’m so sorry, ohhh my god,” Even moaned some more, letting his voice run wild this time around to make sure Isak knew how good he felt. He made sure to moan out a few apologies and tens of “I love yous” in the first fifteen minutes alone. Isak responded with nods and squeaks and little “I love you toos” that barely came out. The more he bounced, the more wrecked he got, his body lurching more involuntarily as he got closer and closer. 

“Ohh, Even, Ohhh,” Isak eventually moaned out with a little more clarity. He leaned down slowly, pressing his torso to Even’s and pressing his left cheek to Even’s right cheek so he could whisper in his ear. It was low and sexy and full of desire. “I need you to finish this up, Baby. I need _you_ to drive us home.” 

Even’s body worked before he really comprehend what he needed to do. He wrapped his arms around Isak and sat up, only to push Isak back on the bed so that his head lay at the foot of the bed. He lifted up Isak’s hips, Isak’s body heaving and his back arching as Even slammed into him. Isak moaned louder and louder with each thrust. His body was buzzing and he really only saw stars and Isak’s eyes as they came. 

Afterwards, Even held him close, the two of them breathing equally heavy in sync. The room was dark and Even pulled the covers over top of them, promising he’d clean them after work the next day. Isak rested his head on Even’s chest and Even rubbed his back. It was relaxing and quiet and it just felt right. 

“M’really sorry I was an ass, Isak,” Even said quietly, sighing a little before kissing the top of his head. Maybe everything was right but he still needed Isak to be reminded that he’d do better. “I love you so much, I hate it when I let you down.” 

“You haven’t let me down,” Isak hummed sleepily, his body still growing heavier on top of Even’s as he was slowly starting to drift off. “I’ll try to be more intuitive in the future. Just try not to be an ass because I love you, too.” 

 

_Friday, Jan. 17_

Apparently when Eskild had disappeared on Thursday after Isak and Even’s fight he’d been out getting a rental car. That Friday, he surprised Even by picking him up and headed to Isak’s work next. Neither of them had known about the purchase, but had seen it parked across the street at their apartment that morning without thinking twice about it. So, when Eskild pulled up, he parked and jumped out of the driver’s seat to escort Isak into the back with Even. 

“Eskild, why are you making me sit in the ba—oh, Baby, hi!” Isak brightened when Eskild opened the door to reveal Even in the back of the car—which had super tinted backseat windows. 

“I thought it was weird too, but now it’s all making sense,” Even said, smirking and helping Isak and his bag into the car so that they could kiss. “I thought he just wanted to be an Uber driver. My chauffeur. But I guess he wouldn’t be that generous without ulterior motives.” 

“Yeah,” Isak kissed Even once he was in and snuggled up to his side while Eskild walked around and got back in the driver’s seat. Isak poked him on the shoulder when he was back in. “What are your motives, Mister?” 

“I wanted to have chat with you boys,” Eskild said, as if he’d taken it out of Martin’s handbook of Dad himself and was about to go all Fatherly on them. “And you two not sitting next to each other sounds like a tragedy, really.” 

“I mean, I think it is too, but it’s still weird,” Isak said with a little laugh sitting back and tossing a leg over Even’s. He couldn’t do that in a real Uber without arousing suspicion, and Even’s low Uber score was a reflection of that. “Plus, it has been done before. We have sat passenger without the other driving on multiple occasions.” 

“Like two occasions, but I don’t care, you two need to be sitting together since you’re still making up,” Eskild said, shooting Even a little look in the rearview mirror before looking back at the road. “Yes, that’s right, I’m here because I’m Isak’s Guru and you two are fighting. Which means It’s time for me to step in. You know fighting is not allowed, my specific rules are to fuck, not fight, you hear me?” 

“Yes _Dad_ ,” Even said with a little laugh, tightening his grip around Isak. “We’re not fighting anymore, so your efforts are a little pointless.” 

“Don’t call me your Daddy in front of your Daddy, that’s incredibly rude,” Eskild shot back, looking at Even again to tell him he didn’t believe anything he was saying. Eskild would always take Isak’s side in fights. “And okay, yeah, you might be fucking and not fighting on the surface, but hello,” he pointed to himself with one hand, “Guru. So I have a special set of skills and I know this isn’t over and it needs to be, so listen.” 

“We have no choice but to listen, Eskild, so please enlighten us,” Isak sighed and gave Even a look to tell him he was sorry for his friend’s dramatics. But Even returned it with a kiss to the forehead, he didn’t need to be sorry, Eskild was dramatic but he was Even’s friend too, so he’d hear if he had something serious to say. 

“Yeah, but do you mind if we makeout in the backseat while you do?” Even asked with a smirk grabbing Isak’s hips and lifting him into his lap completely. He really did want to hear Eskild because he was curious after his disastrous jealousy, but he really wanted to kiss Isak too. It was a Friday, it was more time for Isak and more time physically working out their fight. But he’d promised to be more open, so even if it was unlikely Eskild had a clue for him, he’d listen. 

“Save it for when I’m done,” Eskild said, this time smirking up at Even in the mirror, “I don’t have a divider but feel free to go as far as you want back there, I don’t mind.” 

“As I recall, you’ve already gotten that show before,” Even said with a little laugh, kissing Isak’s temple. 

“I haven’t seen the most important parts, though,” Eskild said and then shook his head. “Wait a minute, wait a minute, you’re distracting me. Jealousy, that’s what I’m going to talk about. Seeing as that was the fight. Jealousy is a Goddamn bitch and Jacob and I made a set of rules about it before I left. Jealousy rips apart relationships and I’m pretty sure it’s one of your guys’ frequent arguments. So I need you two to be better about it.” 

“And set rules like you and Jacob?”

“No, that didn’t work,” Eskild sighed, “He still got jealous and now we’re on the rocks. That can’t happen to you guys. So literally, the moment you feel even a touch of jealous, you tell the other, and if you don’t then, god, I don’t know, I’ll chain you up in a basement somewhere and water torture you or something.” 

“Eskild! What happened with you and Jacob, are you okay? What even were these rules?” Isak basically jumped out of Even’s lap to lean forward and touch Eskild’s shoulder in a show of comfort. “When did it happen? Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“It happened when we were talking Wednesday,” Eskild shrugged, acting like this was nothing but his eyes said it was something. “Then after your fight yesterday, I texted him to see if we could talk, because at that point I had thought it would already have blown over, but he still hasn’t answered me, so it’s not looking good.” 

“You should try calling him, text him again, reach out in all the ways you can, oh! You can send flowers, that’ll really let him know that you still want to do this!” Isak climbed up over the center console and sat in the passenger’s seat, buckling up and leaving Even alone in the back. “Let me help, I’ll help, I know how much you like him, ugh.” 

“You can’t help because you’re working on your own marital problems right now, thanks,” Eskild had said matter-of-factly, shaking his head and then looking at the two of them during a moment of stand-still traffic. “Seriously, if either of you spend more than this car ride worrying about it, there’s another threatening scenario I haven’t thought of yet for you right around the corner.”

“The problem with your chains in the basement is that chains and whips excite Isak,” Even told him with a laugh and a little wink at Isak. 

“Uh-uh, no way did you guys dabble in BDSM without telling me about it,” Eskild said, his voice a little too alarmed for someone driving in traffic. 

“Hardly even,” Isak said, shooting Even a look that made him laugh a little more. “Even’s just trying to get you riled up like always.” 

“Hardly even, so obviously tying up, that’s child’s play,” Eskild clicked his tongue and Even watched Isak watch him in horror as if he were about to vividly and very Eskildly describe a version of them fucking. Isak was okay with talking about sex, but not the overly kinky stuff. “Handcuffs are included with that...hmm, what’s light enough? You said chains and whips…”

“Eskild I’m never actually telling you, you know that,” Isak said, groaning and looking at Even again. “You are so getting it for bringing this up in front of him.”

“Ohh, are you gonna put him in some sort of sexy timeout for punishment,” Eskild egged on, making even Even regret what he had said now because he was destined to take this too far, or maybe right on the nose—which was no good either. Even couldn’t truly think about chains and whips right now, whips—or belts—specifically making him think about Terje and how much he hated him all over again. “Oh, I know, you’re going to bend—” 

“Eskild I am begging you not to finish the sentence for my marriage’s sake,” Even interrupted him, reaching up and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Tying up, it stops there, now leave it alone, please.” 

“One day, Isak, I will get you to stop being a prude,” Eskild tsked, “And here I really thought this one was helping you with it with the rate that you fuck.” 

“Honestly, Eskild, you have no idea and if I have anything to say about it, you never will,” Isak smirked, unbuckling and then moving to the back seat again. Even wanted to scold him for all the moving around in a moving car, but he was happy to have him back in his lap again. “And most people won’t know, you know, besides what they overhear and rudely walk in on. Now, seriously, back to you and Jacob because I promise, I can help you fix this.”

“You can’t if he won’t answer his phone,” Eskild sighed and shrugged. “I don’t really want to talk about it yet. I haven’t even told Noora or Eva so keep your mouths shut for now, okay?”

“Okay, sure,” Isak sighed, looking up at Even. Even could see that he was worried for his friend, so tried to comfort him as best he could with a little squeeze of his hips. He tried to communicate with his eyes as much as he could that he’d keep an eye on Eskild for him, that he needn’t add it to his list of worries.  
*

_Monday, Jan. 20_

As apart of the plan with the visiting of their friends, Isak and Even had taken off random different days throughout the month—Even more than Isak because Isak’s Residency only allowed so much and he was already behind—and that Monday was one of them. The only problem was that all of their plans included Colette, who had also taken days off to spend with them. So that meant either throwing Noora, Eva and Colette together, or just not do anything at all. 

Colette said she’d just skip out, but Even refused. Even felt it was the perfect time for Colette and Isak to chat about everything, that maybe it’d even inspire Colette to apologize and just maybe that would make everything better. It felt like the next month would be hell regardless. Isak found himself wanting it to be over, wanting the whole adventure in the States to be over so that they could be back home already, where it felt safe. 

“Come on, Isak, everyone is going to be here in like fifteen minutes,” Even said as he came back into the room for about the fifth time that morning. Isak kept asking for five more minutes as he lay there in despair. The other times, Even knelt down by the side of the bed, kissing Isak’s temple and rubbing his side. This time he climbed right up over top of him, straddling his waist. “Your longest five-more-minutes ever is up,” he leaned down and attacked Isak’s face with kisses. He then grabbed Isak’s hands to hold them up over his head as he pulled back, “Are you still worrying about today being a disaster? Because, Isak, I will handle it, you don’t have to worry about anything. I’ll diffuse any and all situations and you can have a nice day off like you need.” 

“Mm, I won’t let you do that alone,” Isak sighed a little, looking up at him. He didn’t struggle in the least while Even pinned him down, just let it happen. Even was all ready for the day, looking cute and outdoorsy. He was wearing khaki shorts that landed just above his knees, a baby-blue camouflage v-neck, and a grey baseball cap atop his head—which was currently flipped backwards, but only because the visor would’ve gotten in the way of attacking Isak with kisses, it’d be back forward soon enough. It wasn’t something he’d be able to where that time of year in Oslo, and they were soaking it up. “You’re cute.” 

“You’re cuter,” Even smiled and let go of Isak’s hands so he could run his hands through Isak’s hair. “I picked out an outfit for you if you wanna match. Except it’s the pink shirt, which I can wear if you want this one.” 

“No, blue is too good on you,” Isak smiled, slowly sitting up and almost forgetting his despair. He leaned back on his hands, looking at Even as he slipped a hand to the back of Isak’s head to bring him a little closer. “Plus, you know that the blue is a little tight on me.” 

“Yeah, it really shows off your sexy muscles,” Even smirked, pulling him in and giving him a gentle kiss on the lips. “So I really don’t mind letting you wear it.” 

“I’ll take the pink,” Isak said, rolling his eyes and giving him a gentle kiss of his own. When he pulled back, he looked at him quietly for a moment, flipping his hat back to the front for him. “Do you think everything’s going to be okay in the long run?” 

“Of course it is, I have you,” Even said almost immediately, though worry flashed across his features. He gave Isak a little reassuring smile and ran his hand through his hair again. “Listen Baby, if you’re not feeling well...they can go without us or we can all just stay in. just say the word.” 

“Don’t worry about me,” Isak shook his head before letting himself fall down on his back once more. For show, he gave Even a smile and threw his hands behind his head. “I’m just tired and you know me when I’m tired. I’m starting to wake up though, I just need you to give me that coffee you tried to give me like fifteen minutes ago.” 

“Okay,” Even said, squinting his eyes a little. “But I’ve got my eyes on you, Valtersen.” 

“That’s Bech Næsheim,” Isak corrected, smiling a little more, loving his name change. 

“And don’t you forget it.” 

~  
So the plan was a simple hike, or moderate, really because Even and Isak were exercising precautions with Colette being deep into the second trimester. She couldn’t exercise too much and she was definitely going to need to take rests with the way her stomach was really starting to round—a definite growth spurt in progress. She was pretty fit and active regularly, so she was probably going to do better than they were giving her credit for, but they weren’t taking any chances. 

The group consisted of Isak, Even, Colette, Eskild, Noora, Eva and Chuck, who came as a favor to Colette to act as a buffer if she needed it. The group packed lunches with champagne—sparkling cider for those who wouldn’t drink—sandwiches, chips, salads, and various fruits they all chipped in to get. Everyone took a few water bottles, strapped on a backpack or fanny pack in Even’s case, putting his waters in Isak’s bag even though Isak told him he wouldn’t hold them if he wore that awful thing. 

“I honestly thought that out of the two of you, he had more fashion sense, but that thing?” Chuck shook his head and made a face. He was a very stylish guy, and given that his family was rich, his clothes were probably all designer, and as expensive as his Oliver Peoples sunglasses he had on. “God, all credibility lost.” 

“See Ev, I told you,” Isak told Even, looking up at him and tugging on his hand so that he’d lean down and give him a quick kiss while they walked. Right then, Eskild, Noora and Eva were walking in front of the pack, keeping their own conversation while the four of them did the same. But Isak was feeling weird, bad maybe, itching to join them or find a way to conjoin the groups because he just wanted everyone to have a good time. “After this hike, we are getting rid of that thing.” 

“Over my dead body,” Even said, shaking his head and laughing a little. He looked between Isak and Chuck and then smiled a little deviously. “I won’t have this bullying either, I’m going to have to separate you two. Come on, Chuck.” 

Even kissed the top of Isak’s head and then dropped his hand. He gave Chuck a look that he seemed to understand, so he followed. It wasn’t until it was Colette and Isak alone that he realized the obvious setup that he had somehow missed while it happened. He slowly looked over at Colette to see if she noticed the direct attempt to get them alone—or alone-ish—too. 

“Why do I feel like I’m about to get in trouble?” Colette asked with a little nervous smile, “Please go into it knowing that I’m already nervous. I’ve always thought you were the stern one and since Even was a little terrifying the other night? Basically, the only reason I know you’re not going to kill me out here right now is because of the twins.” 

“You’re not _in trouble_ , Colette, you’re not mine to control like that,” Isak said, biting his lip and looking up to the sky for a moment, staggering his footsteps so the two of them would fall further behind the others. “Even and I aren’t your _parents_ ; you’re just our surrogate, not our child; maybe we’re your friends, but we’re not your daddies, or your lovers for that matter.” 

“Yeah, Isak, I get it, I’m not on your leash and you don’t have a say in what I do,” Colette stated obviously, circling a finger out in front of her as if to gesture that he go on and get to the point. “I mean, I knew that already, you didn’t have to talk to me alone to tell me that.” 

“Well I just wanted to make sure you knew that first,” Isak said, looking back at her and squinting his eyes a little beneath his sunglasses. It was a tiny little psychological theory that he had briefly thought about and just wanted to roll with for a moment. “I mean, if you were say, acting out for attention or something, it’s not like you’d get more attention. You’d just push us away.” 

“Ew, Isak, you’re making me feel like I _am_ some sort of child,” Colette said, physically pushing him away a little bit, “I’m not acting out, God. I just wanted to hook up with Noora. She’s beautiful and nice and she wanted me too and it was nice.” 

“Right, because the last two people you actually wanted,” Isak was narrowing his eyes more, looking down at her and wondering how she didn’t see how terrible this all was, “Mallory and My Husband, I mean of course. They were taken so they couldn’t be with you. But, oh wait, here’s the thing: Noora was and is taken, too. So, what is the common pattern here, Colette? It’s you falling for or going after unavailable people. What is that? I mean, aside from homewrecking.” 

“Oh,” Colette looked wounded for a second or two, her eyes widening slightly and her bottom lip pouting and quivering briefly. But she recovered fast. “Okay, I deserved that. I-I don’t even have a good argument, really. I know that because Even’s said it, Eskild’s said it, and I know you’re thinking it. I fucked up here, but live and learn, right?” 

“I mean, yeah, I guess,” Isak looked her up and down now, wondering if it could be that easy. Checking to see if any of her body gave away signs that it couldn’t be so easy for her to just learn and never make a decision like that again. “Do you even feel guilty, I mean, Eva…” 

“I know, I know,” Colette sighed and held her belly now, making Isak wonder if he was stressing her too much. He chewed on his lip a little bit and watched her hold it as she walked, realizing it was just a subconscious habit. “I mean, of course I feel guilty. Disgusting too, because I’m becoming my Mom. Although they _do_ all say you become your parents.”

“Well, I promise you that I won’t be ending up like either of mine,” Isak said, trying not to think about the statement too much. That was something that haunted him, becoming his parents. “But as for you, I think I’d feel better if I knew you were at least trying to be a good person, you know? I mean, my daughters...if they were to say, become like their biological mother…” 

“You wouldn’t want them being terrible people…” Colette finished with a nod as if she understood. “Like I’ve been.” 

“I wouldn’t say terrible if you hadn’t tried to steal a cancer patient’s girlfriend,” Isak said, chuckling a little, trying to lighten the mood. He’d definitely been in his head about Colette, and maybe she had her charms, like her sad puppy-dog eyes that were swaying him. But she was a person, she was making mistakes. Plus, she was acknowledging them, which was more than could be said for most people. “But hey, we’ll get past this. I mean, we have to. Noora and Eva are here a whole month.” 

“I’m just glad it looks like they’re working on it,” Colette admitted, rubbing her arm and looking forward at the two of them, walking with their fingers loosely intertwined. “I would hate to be the reason. I mean, contrary to what you’re thinking, Isak, liking who I’ve liked has nothing to do with wanting to split up a relationship.” 

“I’m intrigued, go on…” Isak said, looking at her and feeling a little spark of excitement, like maybe he was about to get a peek inside her brain. Get real information that he could apply to his studies and work with. 

“I mean, Mallory,” Colette shrugged a little, “I’ve liked Mallory since I’ve known her. Every now and then we get a little closer and I think maybe but then she pushes back again and it’s all about Taylor. Them? I would probably split up and I’m not sorry but that’s all different, plus I’ve known them forever and have never tried anything. With you and and Even, I just saw how good you guys were together and I wanted that. Not at your expense, really, it was more like I was trying to squeeze my way in rather than push you out. Even’s just more my type, no offense.” 

“None taken, I’ve seen my Husband,” Isak said, looking forward again and admiring the tall and slightly lanky man he fell in love with. 

“Right,” Colette said, laughing a little and running a hand through her hair. “I just fell for the idea there, and I still want to partly blame baby hormones but I won’t. Then Noora and Eva were just new and sweet and I don’t think I’ve ever met two girls so immediately nice. I fell for them both, honestly. But then Noora was drunk and she was talking and she was sad and said some stuff I won’t repeat and I just...I saw an opportunity to help her feel better and you know...get a little bit for myself.” 

“Doesn’t sound too thought through, so I believe it,” Isak laughed a little, wondering how much more awkward talking about this might be had he been the one who walked in on Colette and Noora. “You sure you weren’t drunk?” 

“I would never,” Colette laughed a little too, hugging her stomach for a second. “But, maybe a little high on life. Sometimes, I don’t know, when we’re all together like that, having fun, I lose myself too. Maybe extreme amounts of endorphins can come with being pregnant, too.” 

“Or maybe that’s just what having a good time with your friends is like,” Isak suggested.

“Unlikely, since it never happened before you guys showed up,” Colette shrugged, looking up at him and smiling a little, “though, you two are like the best friends I have ever had. Which is why I hope you aren’t mad at me.” 

“I’m not mad at you,” Isak said, wrapping an arm around her and tucking her into his side as they walked. Even if he did think a day ago that she was an awful person, he felt better now and it warmed his heart to hear that she still felt so close to Isak and not just Even. “But I will be watching you closely, my friend. Especially around Noora and Eva. Though you do definitely need to apologize, with no excuses. Just be real and let them know you fucked up and it won’t happen again. If it doesn’t work, I’ll tell them that they have to be nice. We’ll figure it out. Like I said, we have to. There’s no way around them and there’s no way around you.” 

“As long as your confident, so am I,” Colette said, wrapping her arm around Isak’s waist and allowing him to carry some of her weight as they walked. “If they don’t stop, we’re never going to catch up. I’ll walk uphill but I sure as hell won’t run. I won’t even fast walk so don’t make me.” 

“Well, if they don’t stop then we’ll just see them at the top.” 

 

 _Wednesday, Jan. 22_  
*  
Even was feeling spent. They were hosting every night with Eskild and the girls there, and it was fun, but exhausting. Especially the night before when Colette showed up and all the arguments and apologies finally came out. Even and Isak were up pretty late mediating, and Isak was up later, completing schoolwork that he’d missed out on while Eva, Noora, and Colette were working through everything. 

It wasn’t much, really, just a lot of tears and raised voices. Mediating a fight between guys always felt like it had the risk of fists being thrown, but between girls it actually felt harder. The worst thing that could happen if fists started being thrown would be that maybe someone would break a nose. With girls, you couldn’t even hold them back, because they’d say something they couldn’t take back instead of using physical violence. And, seeing as Isak was really the only person Even could guess about what he might say next, there was no way of stopping it from happening.

It had had Even on edge all night and he’d just hoped that everything would officially be fine from there on out. 

He assumed that if he was feeling completely spent then Isak must’ve felt worse with all the research and study time he was putting in. So, he took a little extra time off lunch to make sure that he could visit Isak during his lunch. Eskild had let him borrow the rental for the day and seeing Isak was exactly how he wanted to use his privileges. 

It was a bit of a surprise, so Even had to work with Harper so she would trick Isak into coming outside. 

“Ev! How did you…?” Isak said as he walked up to the bench Even was sitting on outside. Even spun Eskild’s keys and then Isak nodded, giving him a kiss before sitting down. “Ahh, how kind of Eskild. But, I mean, you can be here for what? Like ten whole minutes?” 

“Nei,” Even shook his head, waving at Harper before she turned back into the building with a smile, having done her job with pride. “I’m gonna be home a little late today, but I get to spend this entire time with you now. Why don’t we walk to that one place for lunch? The one you said had good tacos?” 

“Oh, for sure, you’ll love them,” Isak said, getting up and pulling Even up off the bench with him so they could walk. They held hands and Isak looked up at him curiously. “You know, I was kind of mad at you before you got here. Then I’m actually in your presence and it’s just happy.” 

“Why were you mad at me?” Even asked, looking back curiously, his eyebrow raised for measure. He couldn’t think of anything he’d done since they’re last fight. It was probably worse that he didn’t know. 

“I was going to talk to you about it when I got home,” Isak shrugged, very nonchalant for someone who was apparently mad, which made Even feel a little better about whatever this was. Though, he was nervous because he felt like he’d been doing a lot of fucking up. “I was just thinking about how you held Mats over my head as your clarification for being jealous of Dex. I just don’t want you to do that forever. I want to move on from it, not have you bring it up every time I make a guy friend.” 

"I don't want to hold it over your head," Even told him, squeezing his hand and smiling small at him for reassurance. "I didn't mean to and I won't. You're right, we moved on from that. What if I say the next time I hold it over your head, you can make me sleep on the couch or something." 

"As long as you're actually over it," Isak sighed, chewing on his lip a little. "Like, if it's accidentally slipping out...then maybe you're still mad at me for it… And if you are and you use it like a card you have to play… That's going to end really bad for us." 

“I’d like to think that I wouldn’t let anything end for us, good or bad,” Even said, pulling Isak to the side of the sidewalk. He sat Isak down on an empty bus bench—hopefully that meant no buses would be coming soon. “But, Isak, this is exactly why we’ve decided to tell each other things, because now I know not to be stupid like that. When I said that, I didn’t even realize what I was doing. But now I know to think.” 

“Are you telling me you don’t always think before you speak, Mister?” Isak asked playfully, giving him a squinty-eye look and furrowing his eyebrows. “I can’t believe you would be so immature, so childish, why, I never!” 

“I knoooow, I’m so _bad_ ,” Even laughed, running a hand through his hair and trying to give Isak his best smolder. “I’m the bad boy of your dreams, Baby.” 

“Well, the one in my dreams rides a motorcycle and steals from the rich and gives to the poor,” Isak said simply, smirking and shrugging he stood up and grabbed Even’s hands pulling him up off the bench, “He’s a real Robin Hood but he has all that dangerous charm of someone up to no good, you know.” 

“Oh, I can _be_ that,” Even said, waving his hand at Isak before wrapping his arm around his shoulders. “Don’t you tempt me to be that because you know I hate motorcycles but I’ll be that kind of dangerous for you.” 

“One of these days _I’m_ going to come home with a motorcycle and you’ll ride on the back and hold on to me and you’ll just love it,” Isak nodded as his arm slithers around Even’s waist. If Isak being mad was supposed to lead to a fight, it seemed to have been successfully avoided and now Even could focus on what he was here for: giving Isak a good time so hopefully he could destress a little. 

“Oh, I’d kill you before it could,” Even told him, squeezing his shoulder. “But before we get into our motorcycle argument, are we good otherwise? Are you still mad at me?” 

“I think we sufficiently covered that so let me go on because, I’m telling you, a motorcycle is only as dangerous as the person driving it..and look at me!” 

“Hmmm, how do I put this?” Even asked playfully, turning his head so that he and Isak’s faces were closer together. “Hell. No.”  
*

 _Thursday, Jan. 23_  
~~~  
They were radiant. Like, legitimately glowing in Even’s arms. So bright that they were lighting up his already-luminous face and all it’s beautiful features. The sight for Isak from afar—why was he so far away, anyway?—was absolutely breathtaking. It was the sight of his family. Even held his two girls with pride, and the sooner Isak got to them, the sooner the picture would be complete. 

He felt an unbreakable smile as he started his stride over, ready to take one of the radiant girls in his arms and bask in their beauty with Even. 

_Thud_. He didn’t see the glass wall separating the three of them from him until he ran into it, forehead first. He hissed as he felt the sharp pain and the blood begin to pool under the skin there. There’d be a bump and bruise for sure. Why was the wall there, though? Even had looked up when he heard the thud and when Isak looked back into his eyes, a light clicked on behind him. Martin, Josefine, and Ana were now illuminated, standing behind him. 

They all looked at him and they were all wearing an identical disapproving look. Isak’s excitement turned to a panic quickly. The wall was there to keep him from them, but why? Where was he? What was going on? 

“Isak, what do you think you’re doing?” Even asked with a head tilt, looking at him with the same disapproving glower and furrowed brows. His voice lacked it’s usual melodic lilt and just stood firm and monotonously low. Isak didn’t think he’d ever seen Even look at him like that before, talk to him like that before. It sent chills down his spine. “You know you’re not supposed to be here. You’re not allowed to see them.” 

“W-what-why?” Isak stammered, looking at Even and around at his equally angry family. The Bech Næsheim’s of future and present minus one. His heart was beating faster now, he was feeling a pressure on his windpipe like he was being strangled. What was fucking going on?

“You’re too dangerous,” Even shook his head, tsk’ing as if Isak should know. Cold as if he didn’t care that everything he was saying was _killing_ Isak. Isak dropped to his knees and clutched at his throat but Even didn’t come to save him from the attack. He just lowered his gaze, stepping forward a little to tower over him behind the glass and kept going. “The apple doesn’t fall far, Isak. It’s a risk, it’s a risk. You’re dangerous. Like him. Like your father. You’ll hurt them like he hurt you. Like father like son, like father like son.” 

Isak knew what he should do, tuck his head between his legs, try to breathe, try to drown it all out. Try to think clearly to understand what was really happening. He couldn’t be stuck with this reality, he’d rather die. So, even if tucking his head between his legs wasn’t somehow physically impossible in that moment, he probably wouldn’t have. He just fell back and flailed, grasping at his neck as he gasped for air and tears spilled down his cheeks. 

Oh God, Oh God. He was a monster, he was a menace. Isak the monster. Isak the menace. Isak, unable to see the family he helped bring into the world because he was becoming his father. He must have done something terrible. He didn’t want to know. He just wanted to die there so they would have better.  
~~~  
“ISAK!” Even basically screamed, shaking him out of the nightmare. Isak’s eyes flew open and his entire body reacted by jerking upright, too. He was still gasping, soaked in sweat and tears. But he was in his bed, the dark room a special treasure that brought him to reality. The real reality. He quickly pulled his knees up to his chest and tucked his head between them, trying to just think about breathing and not the crushing of his windpipe or the sharp pain in his forehead. 

“What’s going on? Should I call 9-1-1?!” Eskild burst through the door with Noora and Eva in towe. 

“No, guys, it’s okay,” Even said quietly, taking Isak’s next deep breath with him and rubbing his back slowly. Isak blocked out whatever he said next or whatever he did to get them out of the room. One of them returned with a glass of water but that was it, they were gone and it was just Even, Isak, and this anxiety attack.

Isak focused on his breathing until it started feeling a little natural and then started focusing on Even’s hand on his back instead. It circled and soothed, tingling warmth through him, calming him the rest of the way possible, until the ringing in his ears was gone, until his breathing was normal, until he was really only left with an unsettled feeling in his gut and a sharp pain in his forehead. 

“Thank you,” Isak breathed softly. He had no idea how long it took to wake him, how long it took to calm him, but Even was still there, rubbing his back and being the silent support Isak truly needed. He lifted his head and Even’s face was right there, looking at him worriedly. Even handed him the water and a couple of aspirin, as if he could feel the pain in the front of Isak’s head too. 

“Don’t even thank me, Baby, it’s what I’m here for,” Even told him gently, the hand on his back stopping as he reached up and caressed Isak’s cheek softly. He kissed the side of his lips and ran his hand down to his shoulder, squeezing it gently. “Do you want to lay back down?” 

“Please.” 

“Okay,” Even wrapped his arms around Isak and laid back, pulling him down so Isak could cuddle into his chest. He closed his eyes and nuzzled in, hooking a leg up over him. Even started rubbing his back again, but with both hands now. “Do you want to try to sleep or do you want to talk about it?” 

“Don’t think that I can sleep,” Isak prefaced before taking a deep breath and telling Even about his little nightmare. Even stayed quiet and listened, even stayed quiet once Isak was done and his thoughts were slipping away. He’d say something thoughtful about it and Even would hum an agreement, maybe just trying to make sure it was all on the table before he spoke.Or maybe he was waiting to be outright addressed, “...and I know you always say that I won’t become Terje. But, I mean, do you think differently now that you know about what he did? Are you afraid that I’ll be violent?” 

“God, Isak, no,” Even said as if it were the most absurd thing in the world. “I’d be much more afraid of me becoming violent before you ever did. You may get upset and be dramatic, but never violent. I’d say you’re pretty damn even-tempered, actually. I don’t think you are going to be anything less than an amazing father. I’d be willing to bet like, a billion and two kroner. You’re good Isak. You’re not Terje and you never will be. I think you know that.” 

“I know I trust you and what you say,” Isak said, pressing his lips into Even’s chest a couple times. “Going to work tomorrow is going to be awful.” 

“Well, you’re not going,” Even said, “So I think it’s going to be just fine.” 

“Even, I have to go,” Isak sighed, lifting his head up a little but then setting it back down when he realized how much effort it was. “You know I’m already behind.” 

“Nei, Isak, we’ll figure it out,” Even said, pressing his lips to Isak’s hair. “You’re way too stressed. You need a personal day for just you. You’re not going to work and you just said you trust what I say, so do that. You’re not going to work and everything is going to be absolutely perfect.” 

“Okay but if everything ends up being for nothing then it’s going to be all your fault, not mine,” Isak sighed. 

“I will gladly take the fall for that if it means preserving your mental health,” Even said gently into his ear. His voice was so soothing, Isak wanted to nuzzle further and further into him, melt until he was securely mixed into the safety of Even’s body. “Do you want me to make you some sleepy time tea? Do you want to smoke? I could roll you a joint.” 

“No, stay,” Isak mumbled into the skin on his chest and pressed into him harder to pin him to the bed. “Don’t go anywhere.” 

“Mmkay, then I’ll stay here,” Even chuckled a little, kissing Isak head a couple more times. He went back to rubbing his back and started humming gently. It was an unfamiliar tune but it held his attention. It was smooth and sweet, melting away the rest of the nerves that were keeping Isak awake. Isak said it before and he’d say it a million times more: he was so lucky. 

~  
Isak wish Even would have stayed home from work, too, but he supposed at least one of them should be professional. He was sleeping when Even left, and Even left him a little note and a drawing. The drawing was of Isak, but he had cucumbers over his eyes and a robe on. The note told him to please help himself to Even’s face masks and bath bombs and there was even a little chapstick lip line on the paper. If Even wore lipstick, Isak would probably get notes with red lips on them all the time. 

Isak hadn’t really planned on getting out of bed. He just wanted to hug Even’s pillow until he got home and sort out his thoughts. Stress was a little higher nowadays, and that meant that Isak’s nerves were destined to be a little more on edge. A physician might prescribe a slightly higher dose of anti anxiety medication, but Isak was hoping he could just sort out the stress before it got to that point. Bed seemed to be a good place for that. 

Isak should have known, though, that Even would give Eskild, Eva or Noora a task to take care of him, and somewhere around eleven in the morning, Eskild was knocking on his door. 

“Baby Gay, I’m coming in,” Eskild said after a knock or two, not really giving Isak the chance to respond. But Eskild was actually polite, covering his eyes as he came into the room. “Are you decent?” 

“Well, the blankets are covering everything,” Isak said, not being able to help but smile a little because he’d never seen Eskild be so decently polite. He sat up and pulled the covers over himself more completely before Eskild removed his hand. 

“Hello Darling, how we feeling this morning?” Eskild asked sweetly, throwing on a pair of googly eyes and batting his lashes before walking over to the side of the bed. “Even said you had a rough night.” 

“Yeah, it wasn’t great,” Isak said quietly, scratching the back of his neck and looking away. He felt kind of small, like a child who was in need of coddling. He just preferred Even be the one doing the coddling. “I think I’m just going to lay here, if you don’t mind.” 

“Mmm, girls,” Even said, snapping and then Eva and Noora came into the room, each coming to one side of the bed and sitting down on either side of Isak. “That’s fine, but take a little company, I’m going to make us all a little brunch and then after I’ll draw you a bath. But then I’m also going out and you’ll have to just hang out with Noora and Eva until Even gets home.” 

“That’s fine,” Isak sighed, tucking the blankets under his sides more firmly now that the girls were there with him. He’d still rather be alone, but he had a feeling that there was no way he was getting out of it. Even had left them with loose instructions that Eskild definitely took to heart and wouldn’t let him get out of. 

“Good, love you,” Eskild sing-songed and then left the room, whistling down the hallway. 

“I’m naked right now,” Isak told the Noora and Eva. “So if you could like, close your eyes or leave so I can get dressed? Unless you’re truly curious about why Even chose me…” 

“Well, I’ve seen your bare ass and it’s pretty damn poppin’,” Eva laughed and then put a hand over her eyes. “And I’m sure your dick is..you know, nice for a dick seeing as they’re never really nice. But, I’ll pass on the show today.” 

“I disagree on the dick comment,” Isak laughed as Noora nodded and covered her eyes too. Isak used the covers to continually keep himself covered as he maneuvered himself off the bed. Once he was over to his dresser, he peered back at them then dropped the blanket before pulling on a pair of long boxers and Even’s favorite Nas t-shirt. “They can be seriously beautiful. I mean, Even’s transfixes me. You can look now.” 

“That’ll be your opinion,” Eva laughed, shaking her head. “I like guys and I don’t even think that’s possible.” 

“Mmmhmmm,” Isak said, walking back over to the bed and sitting down on the foot. He looked at the two of them and pondered for a moment. “So I know you guys are settled with Colette, kinda. But where are you with each other? Back on track to being happy and gay together?” 

“Noora definitely has making up to do,” Eva said with a little shrug, adjusting her Fuck Cancer beanie and then scooching a little closer to Noora. “But, I get it. I’ve been both physically and mentally distant and that pushed her away and to that point. I just wish I knew it was pushing her away before it was too late.” 

“Communication is definitely key, Noora,” Isak told her with a little smile. Eva rested her head on Noora’s shoulder and Noora snuggled in. 

“Duly noted, trust me,” Noora said, nodding a little and then reached up to pull Eva’s beanie back a little so she could kiss her forehead. “So, if you’re stressing about us, don’t. You and Even have a lot going on right now. You should just worry about you guys. Right, Eva?” 

“Of course,” Eva said with a nod, sitting back up to peck Noora on the lips now. “We’d rather make things easier while we’re here than harder. So, we can help Dex help you study, we can go out and get your groceries so you don’t have to. I’d even go as far as to meet Colette at appointments if you guys can’t make it.”

“This is your vacation,” Isak said, shaking his head and looking at Noora then at Eva and landing there. “It’s your celebration. I don’t want to be making you do things for us. I want you guys to have a good time.” 

“Nonsense,” Eva said, shaking her head and getting up to crawl over to Isak. She wrapped her arm around him and smiled, “We’re your friends. Friends are supposed to be here to help lift your burdens. And I’m really fucking happy to be here at all to be able to do that. Besides, you’re giving us a place to stay, we need to be able to repay you.” 

“Well, when you put it that way…” Isak smirked a little and thought. “Yes, yes, I think I’d like a private concert from all the famous greats, dead or alive. Yes, that’ll ease the burdens, for sure. Do that.” 

“Oh yeah, we’ll get right on that,” Eva said with a laugh, reaching over to grab a pillow then smacking Isak upside the head with it. “Now, seriously, you need to relax.” 

“She says after attempting to knock me out with a pillow,” Isak laughed, jokingly rubbing the side of his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3  
> got a couple kittens who are obsessed with my laptop, so sorry if there are any weird typos, every time I try to clean it up, there they are again.


End file.
